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Fate and Fear MST	By : Birdie Category: +A through F > Devil May Cry Views: 3879 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Devil May Cry game series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Birdie: run for your liiiifffeeee!!! ROMANCE!! ROMANCE!!! *hisses*

Dante: what the hell's HER problem?

Vergil: Birdie has a phobia of Mary Sue romance, or was that teenage romance in general...?

Dante: you mean there's romance in this chapter...?

Vergil: ...yes, my deaf little brother.

Dante: b-but that would mean...

Vergil: ...Dante/Christianna.

Dante: *screams like a girl*
//CHAPTER 2: AND SO IT BEGINS//
Vergil: Dante, where's the bucket?

Dante: bucket? What bucket?

Vergil: the bucket for me to THROW UP into...

Dante: oh~ your "anti-sentimentality" bucket! ...no idea.

Vergil: *considers slicing Dante but has no energy left (due to last chapter's "celebration")*
//The girl slowly opened her eyes, regaining conciousness, only to stare into the//
Dante: best-selling book of all time, "I Don't Know Who I Am, I Don't Know Where I Am, But I Can't Spell For Shit".
//most beautiful hazel eyes she'd ever seen, in a smoky grey tone.//
Dante: great, my eyes chain-smoke. That's real, fucking brilliant...
//Her head pounded, hammered with pain, from fainting so quickly.//
Vergil: and from stupidity.

Dante: and from Dante repeatedly bashing her head with the said-hammer.
//She looked over her own, torn body.//
Vergil: Dante let Cerberus use her body as a chew-toy for a while.
//No blood at all.//
Dante: because Christianna bled acid. *nods to Alien*
//Christianna seemed amazed.//
Dante: if I didn't have two brain cells to rub together, I'd be amazed too.
//She looked up at the man, who was holding her gently in his warm, mighty arms,//
Vergil: Dante of the warm, mighty arms! Legendary son of Sparda! *poses stupidly*

Dante: *growls* Christianna and Vergil, soon to be crushed by his vice-like grip... *crushes rock*
//smiling in a loving way.//
Vergil: *splutters*
//" Are you alright miss?" He smirked, seeming overly concerned//
Vergil: but actually couldn't give a damn.
//...a bit out of character.//
Dante: how the hell would she know, she's just met me.

Vergil: I think it's logic that if SHE'S not acting OOC, everything else IS.
//The girl looked over him again, almost...//
Vergil: wondering if she should have gone to Specsavers for glasses. She couldn't see a damn thing with those smoky eyes...
//as if examining him, as if to ask herself if he's the right one.//
Dante: (as Christianna) so, you're like, my executioner, right?
//" B-but ....dindn't you just shoot me? "//
Dante: no, I "dindn't just shoot you". If I shot you, you'd be dead already. This girl has must have the IQ of a pepperoni and mushroom pizza.
//She looked confused, fear taking over her beautiful emerald windows to her soul, her eyes.//
Dante: I'd be confused if my eyes were replaced with emerald windows too.
//The man just chuckled, giving her a look that said " You've got to ge kidding "//
Vergil: *smirks* looks like Dante has the IQ of a pepperoni and mushroom pizza too.

Dante: *smirks back* You've got to ge kidding.
//" Haha!//
Dante: Dwuahahahahahaha!
//No..I just saved your life. And this is the thanks I get? "//
Dante: yeah bitch! I'd appreciate it if you'd throw yourself off a cliff!
//He grinned, holding her closely, offering his hand to her. Taking his hand, he//
Vergil: threw her against the wall, flattening her face and liquefying her spine.
//pulled up upright, her body swaying a bit. She still felt dizzy and afraid, but it would soon pass over.//
Dante: time to take more drugs!
//" Say, what's your name gorgeous?"//
Vergil: (as Christianna) "Ugly".
//He looked her over with animal lust in his eyes, like the little devil he was.//
Dante: LITTLE?! I'LL GIVE YOU LITTLE!! *goes into DT mode and starts Million-Stabbing the fic*

Vergil: hmm... "little". Dante, you're not one of those idiots who think they're separate to their penis, are you?

Dante: *starts Million-Stabbing Vergil*
//Undressing her silken body slowly,//
Vergil: *jealous* METAPHORICALLY, I hope...

Dante: her "silken" body?! What is she, a mouse made out of silkworm cocoon?!

Vergil: that could explain her ignorance...
//taking in every inch of her beauty,//
Dante: and there was none of it.
//before the daydream disapeared in a puff of smoke.//
Vergil: because Vergil whacked Dante with a dictionary but alas, the damage was done...
//" I-its Christianna...but friends call me Christine..." she glanced away, looking at the goth architecture,//
Vergil: for they were her only friends... *lowers head in shame*
//and then back at her savior. " And you?"//
Dante: this isn't Alcoholics Anonymous! I don't have to tell you ANYTHING!
//The man just stood tall and proud, grabbing Ebony and Ivory from their holsters, twirling them around his fingers, and clicking them back into place. " The name's//
Vergil: (as Dante) Billy-Boy, I'm an extra on "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Can't guess which one I am? It begins with U--

Dante: *plays Nevan next to Vergil's ears*
//Dante. Pleasure to meet you Christine " He licked his lips suavely.//
Vergil: turning cannibal on the spot.
//Dante. That name ran through her head a million times, the voice seeming//
Vergil: non-existent.
//to come with the wind.//
Dante: the wind? Did she pass a strange gas again?
//Her heart and mind became all fluttery, a slight pink hue taking onto her cheeks.//
Dante: the mouse is turning into cotton candy.
//Could this be love?//
Vergil: *vomit rising* I fucking hope not... *gags behind his hand*
//" I...I don't know how to thank you...//
Vergil: *swallowing vomit* how about getting out of our faces, bitch?
//OH! " The thought just clicked into her head.//
Dante: and that made her brain explode.
//Aside form the horrid atmosphere, what did damsels in distress usually give their knights in shining armor after being saved?//
Dante: *stares* damsels in distress forms horrid atmospheres? o_O

Vergil: screw that, they give a dirty, crappy hankie-chief.

Dante: WHAT THE HELL DO PEOPLE NEED THAT FOR?!

Vergil: *shrewdly* it's very useful for wiping up certain fluids...
//That's right.....//
Dante: the proper etiquette is to find the knights a really hot squire, and lock them up in the bedroom with handcuffs, whips and chocolate sauce.

Vergil: ...so I was right, father WAS reading different bedtimes stories to you... -_-;;
//Christine slowly paced towards her new man, hips swaying as she walked, breasts bouncing slightly.//
Vergil: ......... >_<

Dante: ......... *_*
//She cuddled up next to Dante, letting her hands run over his smooth vest. The leather seemed unscratched, almost brand new.//
Vergil: what in hell is she doing?! She's 14 and she's FEELING YOU UP!!

Dante: call the man-rape hotline!
//All tight and squeaky.//
Vergil: Unholy Mundus... *sinks to the floor, muttering gibberish*
//He smelled so good too, manly.//
Dante: that's weird, I was wearing Trish's perfume on that day...
//The scent made her knees quiver with lust.//
Vergil: *jumps up* GO TAKE SOME HORMONE-SUPPRESSING PILLS AND ACT YOUR AGE, YOU NYMPHOMANIAC!!!
//" Mmph..there's one thing I know I can repay you with," she whispered into his ear,//
Dante: don't fucking break my eardrums, bitch!
//letting his soft skin hit her lips, gently blowing in it.//
Dante: gyaah! FOGHORN!!
//He towered over her almost, about a head or two taller than her.//
Vergil: because Dante's put Agni and Rudra's heads on top of his own.
//Christine gently cursed herself under her breath for being so short.//
Vergil: unless she's a giant silk-rat, she ought to be short...
//Dante had immediate shivers up his spine, as small bumps appeared on his skin.//
Dante: ooh! It's like the time Alastor started vibrating on my back! Very comfortable...

Vergil: *hits Dante* >.<
//He liked it. Even though he couldn't quite admit it,//
Dante: *silent*

Vergil: yes! Don't admit it or I'll hit you again!

Dante: *whimpers*
//or put this feeling into words,//
Dante: *shrugs* jaw-lock, it happens.
//he liked what this girl was doing to him.//
Sparda twins: *heaves*
//He thought that he was usually the dominant one, but...being dominated by//
Vergil: Vergil made him realised it was NICE to be uke.
// a WOMAN? That surely wasn't him.//
Vergil: because Dante is incestuous and gay.

Dante: YOU'RE the one's who's totally gay, Verge. I'm bisexual.

Vergil: shut it! We don't want HER knowing that, do we?
//Feeling confused, but arounsed,//
Vergil: if I was arounsed, I'd be confused too.

Dante: arounsed, what happens when you get molested by a mouse with windows for eyes.
//he closed his eyes,pressing his lips together.//
Vergil: *tries to pry "eyes,pressing" apart*

Dante: give it up, Verge, it's just a spacing problem.

Vergil: *still trying* it's never JUST a spacing problem!!
//She just giggled at him, before running her fingers through his soft, silken hair.//
Vergil: ......the man uses conditioner, how can you POSSIBLY think he's straight?!
//Caressing his warm cheek with her hand, she let her eyelashes tickle his in a butterfly kiss.//
Dante: news-flash! Eyelash contact is the hot new trend started by Christianna!
//Dante wraped his arms around her, holding her close.//
Dante: haha! Time to crush the harlot in my vice-like grip! *turns Christianna into spaghetti*
//< Wha...what's the warmth I'm feeling. Is it ...this girl?>//
Vergil: no, it's the Ifrit gauntlets in your pants. *smirks*

Dante: OI!! >.<
//Dante thought, rubbing her straight back with his hand.//
Vergil: STRAIGHT back again? This girl certainly failed biology...

Dante: ...plus practically every aspect of English...
//< Could she be what I've been fighting for all along?....>//
Dante: I fight because I like it, idiot! This *points Rebellion* is what I live for! *stabs fic*
//His self questioning wat broken by a tender kiss.//
Vergil: ...wat?

Dante: I think I'm going to hunt down this writer and skin her, that's wat.
//As she kissed him, he body scorched with a heat pulsing through his veins. A warmth he had never felt.//
Dante: try "anger more red an OXBLOOD".
//Dante could have sworn that he was dead, in heaven.//
Sparda twins: *shrieks* NO! NOT HEAVEN!! ANYTHING BUT HEAVEN!!!
//Being kissed lovingly by this angel, this precious angel that he longed to call his own.//
Dante: I don't WANT an angel! I'm a DEMON! I want an equally hot-blooded demon who wants to eat out my tonsils when we kiss!!

Vergil: *smiles* I suppose this is where I come in, right...?
//" D-dante..." She whispered through the kiss, feeling his feathery soft lips against hers, pressing together with such passion.//
Dante: if our lips are pressed together with such passion, how can she even whisper?

Vergil: Dante, why were you wearing lip-balm?

Dante: WHAT?!

Vergil: your lips are "feathery soft". *glares*

Dante: well, when Trish leaves her make-up bag lying around you can't help BUT to steal something...
//The kiss lifted, the girl's eyes fluttering open only to meet his again.//
Vergil: because the kiss weighed down on Christianna's eyes like a 10 ton block of iron.
//Dante was speechless.//
Vergil: *stares in amazement* Dante? Speechless? Dare I say I heard those words in the same sentence?

Dante: *growls angrily*
//No words would escape his lips at this moment.//
Dante: jackpot! SECOND tense change! *rocks to Nevan*

Vergil: I thought you'd be too traumatised by the kiss to be this active...
//" T-thanks?," He answered to the kiss clumsily, releasing her from his arms, adjusting his cloak.//
Dante: *shakes head quickly* no!! No thanks! No thanks at all!

Vergil: why are you adjusting your cloak?

Dante: it's my "Mary Sue" repelling cloak.

Vergil: hmmm... that's working REALLY well, isn't it?
//" Tee hee...it was the least I could do Mr.Dante " She giggled, seeming like a little child.//
Dante: no, the least you could do is to smash your freak-hair over a rock, get concussion and die.

Vergil: this girl is certainly bipolar. Vixen one minute, toddler the next -- I think she's got multiple personality.

Dante: *stares into distance* why is Birdie madly waving the foresight stick?

Vergil: I fear to ask.
//" MR?? Hmph, I'm still single kid.." He joked,//
Vergil: *ticks list* can't write for shit, check... doesn't know human anatomy, check... has no idea about social status and norm, check...
//in his mind repeating the words < not for long though...not for long!>//
Dante: Vergil, will you go out with me?

Vergil: urgh, never. Romance is for the emotional crippled.

Dante: *puppy eyes*

Vergil: ...... fine. *grumbles* damn those eyes...

Dante: yay! I'm no longer single! Take that, bitch! *bitch-slaps Christianna*
//"S-sorry." She apologised, taking a shallow bow.//
Dante: randomly turning Japanese.
//" I'm just so thankful that you came to my rescue."//
Dante: ...still waiting for her to throw herself off the cliffs...
//" No need to be so formal. It's only me you know.."//
Vergil: yes, because Dante's room's a pigsty, he likes to wrestle in the mud and he is the antichrist of formality.

Dante: *sniffles* you don't have to be so cruel...

Vergil: I know, but it's fun. *hugs Dante*
//He smiled back at the girl. Dante only wished that he could touch her.//
Dante: "touch" being the politically correct form of "rip out her spleen and use it as a noose".
//To reach out and hold this delicious woman//
Vergil: Christianna's randomly aged 40 years, it seems.
//in his arms again. But he refrained from doing so.//
Dante: *shudders* Mary Sue cooties...
//Devils weren't supposed to feel love, or were they?//
Vergil: *runs out fast enough to break a sound barrier*

Dante: Vergil? Verge? Where are you goi--

*sounds of heavy vomiting is heard*

Dante: *sniffs* poor Verge.

Birdie: aww... you really love him, don't you?

Dante: *nod-nod* not that I need to tell him that. We don't need romantic gestures to feel wanted.

Birdie: sex enough?

Dante: yeah. *pause* hey Birdie, not much happens in this chapter.

Birdie: it's half of the 2nd chapter, because the entire thing would have taken around 16 pages. But don't worry! I've almost finished the remaining half, and will update on Wednesday 17th August (give or take time difference). I promise! Now, onto the reviews...

Fenris Mourningstar: technically, no. I'll update this MST every Monday, whether or not I get reviews. However, reviews make me very happy and positive people write energetic stories (or is that flawed logic?). Hope you like this update! Thanks for reviewing!

Jade Tokier: *looks around* ano... I think I'm a little confused... I'm not offended at all, and by the looks of it, neither are you. Shall we start again from the beginning? Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you find this funny! Please keep on reading. ^_^

Xeora: YES. Fate and Fear is a REAL story. I'll post up the link at the bottom of the reviews. Mary Sues don't scare me as much as they irritate me. Thanks for liking this!

Silver Wolf: oh yes, insanity is best! ^_^ 101 pages of role-play?! How long did that take to write? Well, at least you had fun. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Celesta: hehehe... glad you friend liked this, as did you. I think aff.net is pretty good, because most of the writers have some maturity and skill. Not like ff.net, which is plagued by Mary Sues in swarms. But go read "Devils Never Cry, They Merely Sniffle" on ff.net, DMC page. That had me in fits!! ^_^

cas: I didn't write the badfic, Christine (some girl) did. See the bottom link for where I found it. But I'm the one put in the commentary by Vergil-sama and Dante-kun. A tense change is when there is a sudden change in tense. Like, you go from past tense, to suddenly present tense, then back to past tense. Well, here's the next outrageously ridiculous chapter!

TNTN: hurray! You reviewed me again (a rarity if I was writing on ff.net...)! Yes, I'll try and keep up the good work. Am working very hard...

Cidsa: sigh, prepare to have your heart broken: this shite of a fic exists. See bottom for link. Wah! You want to do your own MST some day? That's great! I recommend you reading the "GayShaggingCats" MSTs, because they were the first I read and they ROCKED. See my recommended readings for one of them. Ooh! If you do that really retarded fic, I'll definitely read it!
Okay, here's the website: http://www.playstationpro2.com/fanfics.html . Then you scroll down till you find the DMC section, and it's called "F-A-T-E & F-E-A-R". There's a poem that goes along with it. *shudders* The authoress' email is there to, just in case you want to give her feedback. ^_~
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Fate and Fear MST