Shattered Peppermint

Shattered Peppermint
Epilogue

"Do you think you might've overdone it?"

I'm silent for a moment, watching the ice clink in my scotch before taking another drink. "Perhaps," I answer finally, setting the drink back down on the bar. "But I was more afraid of not doing enough, and it all being futile."

You sigh for a moment, and I can tell you don't really understand my actions. Are you thinking about what happened so long ago?

"You don't need to feel guilty anymore, Cloud," I state, looking at my beverage. In the background, some old, melancholic jukebox song wafts in the air, tainted with the scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke.

"But...you don't understand what I did..."

No, I don't know what you did. I don't know why you stayed on the mainland and refused to visit Sora and his boyfriend, but...I can guess. "That's because you've never told me."

You give me a distressed look but my expression remains calm, and take a drink of your soda. Perhaps you need something alcoholic more than I do...

"I met Riku, when Sora was looking for him..." you begin quietly, your blue eyes glazing over as you recall the memories. "Ansem...he just got bored quickly, so he was constantly forcing new things on Riku. And...a couple times...he called me there, and he and I...with Riku...and..."

You close your eyes, pained, your voice now barely audible at all. "I didn't know he was the one Sora was looking for, I wasn't even sure he was real. His eyes...and that hair...part of me thought it was something Ansem had created to torment me, because he seemed so much like a younger..."

A younger...Sephiroth, isn't that what you were going to say?

"Leon...when Riku recognizes me, he's going to hate me. And so will Sora, but...I deserve it, don't I?"

I admit, Cloud, I'm not really surprised by your confession. You've been acting strange ever since Sora sent that picture of he and Riku together, and I thought it might be something like this. But...

"If not you, it would've been someone else," I state, sympathetic even though my tone doesn't really show it. "Someone worse, most likely. And Riku knows what Ansem is like, he'll be the first to forgive you."

"But I hurt him."

I sigh, then touch your leg comfortingly. "Nothing you do now is going to change what happened in the past. But it's going to be fine, because he has Sora with him."

Don't worry, Cloud, you don't have to confront them now. Tomorrow we'll leave the mainland and head back to Hollow Bastion. I'm pretty sure Sora's going to be less than happy when he sees the bruise I undoubtedly left on Riku's cheek, anyway. Maybe I did go too far...

"You said some pretty cruel things to him, didn't you?"

"...Yeah."

"What makes you think it'll help?"

I sigh again, taking a much longer drink this time while contemplating my answer. It was intuitive, mostly, but I think I can work out the logic behind it now that I can really analyze the situation.

"Ansem -- Xehanort -- loved to torment and humiliate others. It seemed to me that whenever Riku felt even the slightest sexual desire, his mind automatically connected it with humiliation and he felt ashamed."

"That's...horrible..." I hear you murmur to your drink. "But Sora can show him otherwise, right?"

"Yes, but Riku would never let him try. I supposed...that in the same way Riku associated sex with humiliation, he'd associate humiliation with sex. As harsh as it seems, in tearing down his defenses and making him feel shame, I caused Riku's subconscious to tell him that sex must certainly follow. It allowed an opening for Sora to get in, to teach him about how intimacy is supposed to be. And when I forced him to think of his bad memories...it emphasized the contrast between the suffering Xehanort caused him and the peace he finds in Sora."

Not only that, but it gave Sora a chance to remind Riku how he would protect him.

I'm aware of you staring at me, your eyes trying to bore into my soul. But I pretend not to notice, I just shift my drink slightly as I consider my words, watching the liquid ripple around the ice.

"How could you...possibly understand this?" You ask, but I only laugh softly without glancing up. When you remained silent, I gave a slight shrug of nonchalance. Does it really matter?

"...And Sora was alright with this plan?"

"I didn't tell him what I was going to do, or he might not've been," I reply, shifting to look at you as you take another drink. "He seemed uncertain, though, so I had to run him through the basics of sex."

The sound of you choking on your soda brings a very slight smirk to my lips, and I watch as you cough up the beverage and sputter out a "Y-you did what?"

"He wasn't that comfortable with it, really, but I didn't want him to miss his chance. So I explained the process and importance of preparation and lubricant, and I told him to pay attention so he'd know when he struck the prostate," I state, my voice and expression completely neutral. "I simply wanted them both to enjoy the experience -- it's quite a landmark for them."

I even gave them the rose oil you brought for this trip, but I'll let you figure that out tonight.

"...Sora really loves him," I remark, resting my elbows on the bar and folding my hands under my chin. "You should've seen the way he looked at me when he told me to leave. I think, for a moment, he forgot who I was and saw Xehanort instead."

You pause and then, after an interval of silence, touch my shoulder gently before rising. "Come on, Leon, let's head back to the ship. Those boys are strong -- I'm sure Sora's next letter will tell you how well they're getting along now, and how thankful he is for your help."

"Yeah," I answer, standing as well. You slip an arm around my waist even though I didn't even drink enough to cause the room to waver, and we walk together out of the pub.

You're right, Cloud. I know they'll pull through.

----------

A/N: Okay, now it's -really- finished. Although I've been toying with the idea of continuing it or writing a sequel, perhaps bring Ansem back...but I dunno. It would just be something else to keep me from working on Ebony (For AFF.N readers, Ebony Rain is one of my fics on FF.N, which I'll probably transfer over once it gets to a part that warrants a high rating). Oo And please don't tell me how OOC Cloud is v.v I totally support the stoic Squall and extroverted Cloud from their respective games, not how they switched personalities in KH. :/ But that's just me.

As always, please R&R!

-Bharune