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Apotheosis I	By : OneMoreAltmer Category: +A through F > Elder Scrolls - Oblivion Views: 2266 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I didn't create and do not own Elder Scrolls: Oblivion or its characters (except for Tavi, within game format). I make no moneys.

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Three � Lonely in Your
Nightmare

They were sorry to see him go, and not just because he was a
priest in a city left ravaged by demons.�
They loved him.� Who wouldn�t
have?� Anyone would have told you, without
knowing the whole truth of it, that he was divine.
I led him back up through the wilderness, avoiding the roads
now out of fear for his safety more than mine.�
I couldn�t imagine that anyone had ever seen him and not realized he must be related to the Emperor.� I suppose I should have considered how few
people, other than Council members, Blades, and myself, had really seen and
spoken to the Emperor up close.� Still,
someone had managed to figure it out, because there was no other reason to
attack Kvatch.� And I had no idea who
that person or persons might be, or where they were now.� Better to be cautious.
We rode quietly through the day.� When night fell, I realized that I couldn�t
just force him to ride nonstop all the way back to the Priory, as my paranoia
might have demanded for just myself.�
Reluctantly, I found us a campsite.
�There�s only one tent,� he pointed out, helpfully declaring
the obvious.
�I�ll sleep outside,� I told him.
�Are you sure?�
�Yes!� I snapped, and then, feeling wicked for it, I added,
�Wait here, and I will get us some kindling for a
fire.�
I tortured myself a bit while I busied myself with my
errand.� It wasn�t his fault I found him
attractive.� It wasn�t his fault I had
stopped trusting men I found attractive, or that I was jumping at shadows for
fear they were assassins.� There was no
reason to be rude.
When I came back, he had taken off his sword and sat down on
one of the weathered little benches surrounding the fire pit.� That he owned a sword had surprised me, but it
seemed prudent enough to carry something for self-defense, out in the world.
I lit the fire while he brought out the water skins and the meager
rations he had allowed us to take � not too much, not when Kvatch was already
left with so little.� We were quiet again
for a while, which felt awkward since the last words between us had been my fit
of temper.� The sky darkened, and the
fire beneath it was lovely.
�Tavi?� he said, and like a fool I looked at the fire
dancing in his eyes.
�Yes?�
His face was warmer than it had been in Kvatch, relaxing a
bit at this distance from the tragedy.� �In
the seminary�they did discourage us from attacking women while they sleep.� It is frowned upon in the priesthood.�
I laughed.� �Of course
it is.� I�m sorry I was short with
you.� Personal
baggage.�
�But you�re going to insist on sleeping outside.�
��Yes.� I am.�
His face was full of quiet concern.� �Do you not feel safe with me?�
I didn�t want to have this conversation.� �It has nothing to do with you.� It has to do with � with a time when I was
stupid.� Have you ever done something
that was really stupid?�
The faint ghost of a smile, bewitching.� �Yes, actually.� Any number of things.�
Ah, good.� He was
beautiful, he was royal, he was holy, and now he was interesting.� �Really!� Perhaps if you told me one of yours, I�d tell
you mine.�
A cloud passed over his face, and he looked back into the
fire.� �Perhaps another
time.� I will not press you.� But you may have the tent yourself.�
I responded too quickly.�
�No.� I�d be trapped.�� Then I caught myself.� �Oh.�
That�s not quite what�.�
He looked at me too softly to bear.� �Something that hurtful.� I�m sorry.�
�No,� I said, waving my arms around, �no, no, no.� I�m sure I�ve given you the wrong idea.� Look, I spend a lot of time out exploring
ruins, and it�s dangerous, and I�m a bit overcautious.� All right?�
�All right.�
�All right.�� But it was hard to close myself off to him
that far, and against my better judgment I added, ��and, well, men don�t make
much sense to me.� I�m better at wolves
and goblins.�
�I see.�� He
laughed.� �If it will please you, I will
sleep alone in the tent and behave myself.�
I don�t want to be compared unfavorably to a goblin.�
�Thank you.�� I took a
drink from my water skin so he wouldn�t see me smile.� �I know it must seem excessive.� Priests of Akatosh are celibate, aren�t
they?�
�No,� he admitted.� �Chaste to marriage, but not celibate.�
Oh dear.� I�d only
brought it up assuming they were
celibate, to get him to say it out loud, to remove him from my head as a
potential object of desire.� �Chaste�
wasn�t quite up to the job.� Now we really couldn�t share the tent.
Although.
Although I was really no safer from
Lucien, or from any other real or imagined danger, outside the tent than
inside.� And inside would be safer
from some kinds of things, not to mention warmer.� And his aura absolutely hummed with power,
which I attributed to the blessings of his god, his vocation as a priest.� And he had
been awfully lucky in Kvatch, emerging unharmed from the catastrophe that had
laid waste to a city just to reach him.�
Maybe Auri-El would be watching over that tent, and it would be
impervious to the Dark Brotherhood, daedra, and all comers.
And he couldn�t betray me if all we did was sleep.� And I didn�t have anything I thought he
wanted enough to kill me for.
Such a short history to have built up this
much complication in my psyche.
�Very well.�
He cocked his head, confused.� �Very well?�
I was rounding the corner from idiotic to insane.� He was going to think I belonged to
Sheogorath.� �Very well, I will share the
tent.�
He grinned, and it was as if his eyes filled with their own
azure light.� Damn.� �I�ve convinced you that I�m harmless?�� And I imagined that there was something flirtatious,
something not at all priestlike, in the tone of the question.
�You are not within a mile of harmless,� I muttered, and
then fought back the urge to bite off my own tongue.� �But it�s getting cold, and I can�t take you
to Jauffre if I freeze to death.�
Sometimes men make the assumption that all elves are
naturally at home out in the wild:� put
us at a campsite or in the woods and somehow a Bosmer appears, no matter what
we are in the city.� But Martin said
nothing about my inability to sleep comfortably outdoors on an autumn
night.� He only said, �No, you can�t,�
and offered me a strip of dried meat.
Campsite tents are small, and it was close quarters for
two.� I spread our blankets.� �Back to back,� I announced.� He stretched out with his back turned to me,
obliging, and I curled up as tight as I could at the other side of the tent,
which is to say that I managed to bend my arms and legs just a bit before I
either had to put my feet outside or let my shoulder blades come into contact
with his.� Grudgingly I chose the
latter.� He sighed.
I lay there for ages, not sleeping.� I listened to every cracking branch wondering
what it was; I felt the pressure of his back against mine; I contemplated what
a wreck I was and how I�d ever managed to make my living exploring dangerous
ruins with this temperament.
He stirred, carefully shifted onto his back.� �You�re not asleep,� he whispered.
�Neither are you.�
�Sometimes I don�t sleep.�
And tonight I have a lot to think about.�
�What are you thinking about?�
He didn�t respond right away.� �Jauffre,� he said at last.� �Kvatch.�
Perfectly reasonable answers.� They shouldn�t have disappointed me.� �Of course.� I know it�s a lot to absorb, but Jauffre will
know what to do next.�
�I hope so.�� Another pause.� �And
why are you still awake, Tavi?�
�I thought we�d agreed that this wasn�t the night we were
going to trade our secrets.�
�Fair enough.�� I felt the back of a hand brush against my shoulder.� �You�re cold.�
I�you will be warmer if I turn to face you.� If you will allow it.�
I was cold, true enough.�
Cold, and embarrassingly afraid of having a man this
close to me after Claude and Lucien.�
As usual, it made me unfairly hostile.�
�A service commonly provided by the priesthood?� I hissed.
�No.� But you�d said
you didn�t want to freeze to death.� I
know you don�t want me to ask what has you so frightened � �
I wanted to bark back at him that I wasn�t frightened at
all, but even I knew what an obvious lie that would be.� So I breathed deep.� �I�ve made mistakes, Martin.� I�ve made enemies.� It�s not that I don�t feel safe with you.�
I just don�t feel safe.�
�I understand.�� Two
words, but they were words with weight the way he said them � as if he
understood not only in a theoretical sense but because he was thinking of
mistakes and enemies that would make me shudder.
Well, and by the Nine, Tavi, why shouldn�t he understand not
feeling safe?� Demons had just torn his city apart, looking for him.� He�he might need the comfort himself, and not
be able to ask for it.� That was probably
wishful thinking, but it was a pleasant wish, and it made enough sense to me to
break through my false belligerence.
�I�m sorry, Martin.� I
don�t mean to be so distrustful.� Turn
whichever way you will.�� I gulped.� �I would like to be warmer.�
He adjusted carefully again, not intruding more on my side
of the tent than was necessary.� The
point of contact was now the entire back side of my body, as he curled in to
meet me from head to feet.� After a
moment, he draped his arm over my waist � gingerly at first, but when I did not
protest, it settled, weighed comfortably down on me, demanding nothing
else.� I could feel his breath on the
back of my neck, and perversely, that woke up every other nerve in my
body.� I wanted more.
I did not want to want more.
On the other hand, the warmth that radiated from his body to
mine was soothing, and eventually that lulled me into something approximating
sleep.
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Apotheosis I