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Returning	By : braxy29x Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 3007 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, quoted poetry or lyrics. I make no money from this story.

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"Touch the wooden gate in the wall you never saw before, Say "please" before you open the latch…" -from Neil Gaiman's Instructions
...
As much as Thane enjoyed his conversations with Shepard, he had never sought her out on the Normandy.
Thane spent the day seated at his table, waiting for Shepard to return from her mission at Heretic Station. He remained behind in favor of Miranda, her overload ability making her better qualified to deal with the massive numbers of Geth Legion described. This was only the second mission he had not joined since his recruitment and his growing attachment to Siha made his inability to keep watch over her disconcerting.
Please be careful, Siha. I bow, hoping she understands my meaning.
Today he relived each of their conversations carefully, thoroughly, at least twice, lingering many times more on those that pleased him most. There were not enough of them yet.
I feel something more for you too. She leans toward me, her warm hands grasping mine. Something more than friendship, she says.
When he was certain he could not wait any longer, he stood and exited into the hallway, allowing his muscles to stretch and loosen after so many hours unused. He walked toward the elevator, sensing someone nearby.
"Ah, Thane!" Kasumi flickered into view before him, glancing over her shoulder at him as she passed and headed toward the Port Observation Deck. "I believe Shepard is back," she remarked playfully before disappearing again. He nodded his thanks and stepped into the elevator, clasping his hands behind his back as the door closed.
"EDI, is Shepard in her quarters? Please ask if she will see me."
...
Shepard was seated at her terminal when he entered, but she had already turned her chair toward him, anticipating his arrival.
"Hello, Thane," she addressed him with a smile. "I'm glad to see you here. I believe this is a first."
Her hair was wet and she wore the short-sleeved, fitted dark uniform she favored on-board. He noticed her armour piled haphazardly in a far corner, but saw few other personal effects beyond a collection of model ships displayed between her office and the dropped room behind it which contained a bed, a large, right-angled couch, and an assortment of tables. The aquarium wall to his left glowed coolly blue, feeding fish darting within.
Shepard stood, and it seemed for a moment as if she would reach for him, but she moved past him and down the steps instead. "Why don't you join me? Are you doing well?" she asked, catching his eye for a moment.
"Of course." He cast a practiced eye over her as she went toward the end of couch nearest her bed and immediately noticed that she was moving differently, the stiffness in her shoulder readily apparent to him. "You are injured, Siha?" he questioned as she sat down.
"No, not really. I'm not sure what I did to it at the station." Shepard indicated the other section of the couch, but he remained standing, the paneled wall now behind him and his hands comfortably at his back. "We managed to re-write the programming on those "heretic" Geth. According to Legion, they should stop following the Reapers and co-operate with us in the campaign."
She sighed at him when he did not comment and relaxed into the cushions, grinning. "I'm sure I'm fine."
"Have you allowed Dr. Chakwas to examine you?"
"Really, Thane, if I can't even remember what I did to it, then it can't be too bad. The shower seemed to help."
He regarded her seriously. "Siha, I am no physician, but I am familiar enough with bodies to determine the nature and extent of your injury, if you will allow me."
Shepard laughed at this. "Looking for any excuse, aren't you?" Thane did not move. "Oh fine, go ahead."
Thane approached and dropped onto one knee next to her as she sat forward, allowing him to take her wrist in one hand and her forearm in the other. He enjoyed looking into her eyes for a moment, having rarely had the opportunity to see them so close without her helmet in the way. Shepard glanced down and he followed her gaze, enjoying the contrast of his own strong fingers against her fine, smooth skin.
He pulled her hand up the length of his forearm, resting the weight of her elbow in his palm, and ran his fingers gently along the outside of her upper arm until he came to her shoulder, sliding his thumb lightly over the muscle and coming to a stop at the joint. She tensed suddenly but relaxed into it as he stilled his hand, only resuming his gentle exploration around her shoulder when he was certain any pain had subsided.
"I would prefer to look at your shoulder. My experience tells me only that you are weakened and tender here and how I might further disable you. I can't say much more without seeing it or using it against you."
"Are you trying to get me undressed?" Shepard said lightly. "You should know that I have easy access to a pistol, even now."
Thane wondered at her manner; she seemed to have grown increasingly uncomfortable in his company outside of combat over the last several days, her natural confidence slipping to betray a certain shyness.
She reached across her body and tugged down the hidden zipper along the side of her uniform, easily at first, any tendency to self-consciousness stripped away in her years of military service. Her collar parted at the neck and the flap of fabric folded open across her chest as she continued. Her awkwardness returned as she worked the uniform off her shoulder and down her arm, aware of how closely Thane was observing her. She ensured part of it remained in place over her breast with her free hand and he noticed her skin begin to redden as she carefully avoided his eyes and focused instead on his knee.
He did not move as he took in the pleasing color change of her exposed neck and chest, the small rosy patches creeping across the top of the black fabric to the curve where her breast met her arm. He realized he still held her arm when he felt the warmth of it in his hands, the back of his fingers brushing against her side. "Siha," he murmured to himself, suddenly curious to see all of her. His only lover had not been Human and he had never taken a particular interest in them before now. Shepard, however, was an exceptional individual, and he was drawn to her in spite of himself, the decision he had made so many years ago to avoid any strong connection to others having eroded with his discovery that she shared his feeling.
Thane shifted his focus to the mottled purple around her shoulder joint, noting some swelling and heat in the ligaments under his fingertips before holding her shoulder stable and lifting her arm out to the side of her body to check the mobility. She sucked in her breath for a moment at this, her uniform resisting the motion, and he grew still.
"I admire your durability," he said, enjoying her amused expression as he resumed his slow movement. "I do not think anything is seriously damaged."
"No, I expect it isn't. Any problems will probably disappear pretty quickly; this Cerberus body does a good job of maintaining itself. No telling how much nano-tech is in there."
Thane was certain now she would be fine, but was reluctant to release her, feeling her warmth flooding into him, settling between his legs.
Suddenly tense with his body's desire, he breathed evenly and deliberately to dispel it, irritated at this unbidden response to Shepard's proximity. Hoping to regain his composure, he stood, releasing her as gently as he was able whilst putting distance between them and returning to his typical pose.
Shepard shook her head a bit as if to clear it and tugged her uniform back into place over her bruised shoulder, fumbling a little as she struggled to work the zipper.
"I'm… not sure what just happened, but would you help me with this? I don't know how I managed it the first time with my left hand, but…"
"Of course, Siha." Thane leaned over her, carefully grasping the fabric at her side and pulling the zipper up as she peered at him. His arousal subsided only a little; he endeavored to calm himself as he completed his task and straightened, meeting her gaze for a long moment.
"I should go," he said eventually, his tone more cold than he had intended.
"Please stay."
He hesitated briefly and then nodded, seating himself on the other section of the couch, crossing his legs and placing one long arm across the back and the other in his lap.
"You know, it's funny, because I injured my shoulder so many times before I… anyway, once I dislocated it and tore it up a bit, I just seemed to injure it over and over again. Always finding it hanging there at the worst time, bones pushing out at all the wrong angles. You would think Cerberus could fix that and I guess they did. I know I heal more quickly now." She groaned in frustration and lay down on her good arm, squirming to find a comfortable way to rest the other over her waist.
Thane could see her legs stretched out past the curve of her hip and she reached for the tips of his fingers. He shifted forward so he could hold onto them lightly, gazing at the top of her head.
"I'm not sure, though, which parts are mine and which are new. Sometimes I think it's like a phantom limb, I just think it's my old torn-up shoulder but it's probably metal or something else now."
"Phantom limb? I am not familiar with this term."
"You know, even a couple hundred years ago, if someone got an arm or a leg hurt badly enough on Earth, the doctors would just remove it. The replacements weren't very good, they weren't wired into the rest of the body like they are now and the doctors couldn't do that much about the pain. People would say they could still feel their missing parts. They could feel their leg hurting, but they didn't have a leg there to hurt."
She shifted again, grasping at his fingers more tightly and raising her head more in line with her spine so that he could see her nose and the tips of her lashes.
"Maybe it's like that. I'm feeling pain from a body that isn't there anymore. How could any of it have survived the re-entry and crash, really?" She looked up at him, as if he could answer her, her anxiety apparent. "I question whether I'm even real, sometimes. I don't know where they found a… me, I guess, to put back in this thing. Which part am I?" Thane's heart seemed to twist in his chest as he noticed the tears accumulating at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. Surprised at her unexpected distress, he reached his other arm toward her, holding her hand firmly between his.
"Siha, the nature of your body is unimportant to me," he said quietly, hoping to reassure her. "I have never thought to question it. Your spirit is a reflection of the Goddess, and it exists apart from the form you were given at birth or that which has been remade by the alchemy of your people. You are the sword, the arm of Arashu herself, as I am yours." She sighed, her eyes closing tightly against her doubt and he knew his words did little to comfort her.
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