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To Break a Hero	By : Tanwen Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 6126 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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They left him alone for a few meal-cycles after that.
Except that he wasn’t really alone. The voice in the back of his head was like a shadow-Kaidan, one that was buying the Cerberus party line and doing his best to turn the real Kaidan to his way of thinking.
The scariest part was that shadow-Kaidan was beginning to talk back to him.
His sleep was restless and heated, his dreams filled with a female voice promising ecstasy if he surrendered, causing him to wake with a hard-on every ‘morning’. He thought about Shepard when he closed his hand over his cock, keeping her image fresh, trying not to lose hope despite the logic that Eva had previously laid out for him.
Shepard will come.
Shepard has no idea where to start looking, even if the Alliance would let her look, shadow-Kaidan countered.
Kaidan had put the terminal through his paces when it was first delivered, after he’d finished reading through all the articles on Shepard’s return to the Alliance. He wasn’t the hacker that Tali was, but he was able to do a few things with computers - and he couldn’t get anywhere with the terminal. Not entirely surprising. He didn’t take Eva for a fool.
He’d decided to space out the rest of the content on the terminal to keep himself from going stir crazy - more stir crazy. Before Eva showed up again, he’d read through all the Lazarus Project files and been absolutely astounded at the details of what had been done to rebuild Shepard.
When Eva did show up, he was sitting at the desk, and didn’t even bother to make a break for the door. He really didn’t need the headache.
“Enjoyed the reading?” she asked him.
“I did, actually,” he admitted. “Thanks.”
“My, my!” Eva murmured. “That’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Kaidan muttered.
“On the contrary,” Eva said, walking over and resting both of her hands on his shoulders. “I think you’ll have many more nice things to say to me in the future.” She bent her head to fix Kaidan’s gaze with her own, and he found he could not look away - he couldn’t even move. He was sure his pupils were dilating as he stared into her green eyes, captivated by the sight, feeling an odd flutter in his stomach.
“You want me, Kaidan. Don’t deny it.”
In the back of his mind, Shadow-Kaidan whispered you can’t resist her
“You’ve been dreaming about me, wondering what it would feel like to fuck me.”
you want to fuck her
“Right now, you can’t think of anything but me and how much you love listening to my voice.”
listen and do what she says
“You’re getting more aroused by the minute, your desire building and pushing all other thoughts out.”
you need to be inside her
Kaidan couldn’t breathe. The back-and-forth of Eva and Shadow-Kaidan had him completely trapped, suspended in some kind of indecisive limbo. His hands burned at his side and his cock strained against his pants, but he didn’t move. He knew he didn’t want to have sex with Eva, but some part of him had been convinced otherwise - his desire for her was growing by the minute. Or maybe it was just plain desire that needed an outlet, and Eva was an all too convenient one. A willing woman is better than your right hand.
He fought it with every part of him that was available to fight. Shepard. I love Shepard. I won’t betray her.
you already have
“Fight all you want. It makes the inevitable surrender that much sweeter.”
surrender to her
“You’re going to fuck me, Kaidan. You want it too much not to.”
you want her
Eva drew her tongue across her lips, slowly, and then breathed, “Kiss me.”
No, Kaidan thought.
Yes, oh god yes, shadow-Kaidan said, and took control of Kaidan's body so that he could obey her order.
He moaned as soon as her tongue slipped inside his mouth, his hands suddenly able to move and touch her bare breasts (shouldn’t there be clothing there), teasing the nipples into hardness. He stood from the chair and used his biotics to slam her against the wall as he’d done the first time he saw her. This time when he crossed the room to lay his hands on her it wasn’t on her neck, but her stomach, waist, hips, thighs …
She had tormented him, teased him and brought him to this state, and he was going to pay her back. He kept her pinned there with his mind as he tore off his pants and shirt, then stuck a finger in her wet cunt. The sounds she made went straight to his cock and he couldn’t help but moan in response. He barely even noticed how hard his breathing had become as his finger moved around inside her, finally finding the spot he was looking for. She moaned again and his determination to tease her gave way to the need to be inside her, right now. He removed his finger and guided his cock in there instead.
As soon as he’d entered he felt a wave of pleasure roll over him, his hands plastering themselves to the wall for more leverage. He moaned, loudly, almost losing himself then and there. But he had some self-control left and he started moving against her.
He was barely aware of Eva speaking to him, her lips a hair’s breadth away from his ear. The words filtered through as extra little shivers of pleasure. He lost himself in the rhythm of in-and-out, mind fogging over more with every upward thrust. ohfuckyes, yes, yes, yes…
“Now, Kaidan.”
He heard that clear enough - a direct order from her could not be ignored. He obeyed, crying out in pleasure and release as he exploded inside her. “Good boy,” she said, causing him to whimper softly. Her hands were on his back - he must have released his biotic hold on her. Fingernails traced lines across his bare skin. He let go of conscious thought and rode out the retreating waves of sexual release. Feels good, so good …
“Did you enjoy that?” Eva asked.
“Yes,” he breathed.
“Want more?”
He could only moan in response to that and press himself up against her, trying to eliminate the gap between them.
“I’m so glad to hear that,” Eva said. She put her arms on his shoulders and pushed downward, gently, disengaging them. “On the bed,” she directed. “This time, we’re going to do it my way.”
He went to the bed. He couldn’t do anything else. He laid flat on his back and looked up at her, knowing that his expression looked more than a little blank. He was just waiting for Eva to excite him all over again.
She advanced over to the bed and straddled him, dipping her face in to kiss him hungrily. He moaned and felt himself starting to get hard again, and she paused to give him a throaty chuckle before resuming her attentions. His hands came up to caress her breasts.
“Very good,” Eva told him, and he shivered at her approval, squeezing harder.
Eva lowered herself on top of him, and he arched up to meet her, his arms coming up to pin her to his body. “Do you like this?” she asked.
“Y-yes,” he said, barely able to get the word out.
“You like me.” She reached up a hand to stroke his cheek.
“Yes.”
“You can’t think of anything but me. You don’t want to think about anything but me.”
It was entirely true that she was the only thing on his mind at the moment, and he voiced that as a whimper.
“Surrender to me, Kaidan,” she said, her lips right next to his ear. “Tell me you’re mine.”
Even through the fog of desire, there was something that held him back from immediately answering. A name that was pressing at the edge of his awareness, the name of the woman he loved. That he desired above all others. He couldn’t say anything.
“You belong to me,” she said. “Say it, Kaidan. You’re mine.”
I belong to -
I love -
The name wouldn’t come.
He’d been pushed to his limit and he cried out, thrusting upwards against her as he came.
Eventually, when his body had stilled, she peeled herself off of him, shaking her head. “I suppose it was too much to hope for, the first time,” she said. “No matter.” She smirked at him as she moved for the door, her clothes flickering back into existence all of a sudden. “I’ll be back.”
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To Break a Hero