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Alphys VS Undyne	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > UnderTale Views: 1743 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: All rights to Undertale and its characters belong to Toby Fox, and this fanfic is a very strictly non-profit, parodic work with absolutely no intentions on the author's part of infringing with said copyright.

Chapter List
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- 4
CHAPTER 3
"Hmm...I wonder which one of us is more resistant to tickling?" Alphys slyly giggled and blushed, crossing her legs and resting her elbow on Undyne's shoulder while Undyne was busy boiling with livid rage and jealousy at how obviously superior of a character Alphys was to her.
"HELL, I DUNNO, YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHICH ONE OF US IS MORE TICKLISH!" Undyne yelled irritatedly at her, sitting on the floor and resting her head between her fists in boredom.
ALPHYS' ENTRY
There Alphys was, in her lab, in stocks, with her wrists and ankles tied up in Memoryhead's tentacles, reluctantly enduring the tickle torture of a lifetime...courteousy of yours truly.
"MMF...HMMMF...TEE HEE..." Alphys giggled and blushed softly, trying desperately not to bust out laughing as Endogeny licked her socked feet while Reaper Bird nibbled on her tail, Snowdrake's Mother tickled her armpits with its feet, and Lemon Bread scratched her belly with its appendages.
"So...what if we told you that this is being filmed on live TV? Ya feeling embarrassed yet? HMM?" the Amalgamates teased her, causing her blush to worsen even further as the five of them continued relentlessly tickling the ever-loving shit out of her.
"What if we told you that someone's probably jerking off to this right now?" Memoryhead snickered, causing Alphys to tremble and sweat with nervous fear and apprehension as Lemon Bread removed her stinky sweaty socks and ate them so that Endogeny was now licking her bare, defenseless feet.
"MUST...NOT...FAP..." Snowdrake's Mother whispered desperately, trying its hardest not to move its right hand over its progressively hardening cock...and failing miserably at that.
"OKAY, NO-HO-HO-HO, PLEE-HEE-HEE-HEEASE! STAH-HAH-HAH-HAHP, MAKE IT STAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHP! I PROMISE YOU I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON UNDY-HY-HY-HYNNNE!" Alphys bust out laughing hysterically, pounding her fists on the floor frantically as waterfalls of joyful tears poured down her glowingly blushing, humiliated, sweating face.
"Oh, I don't even believe that for ONE SECOND!" Lemon Bread laughed as the five of them continued tickle-tormenting her even further; although they certainly began to die down after a while, her screams of laughter could most definitely be heard from all the way across the area.
UNDYNE'S ENTRY
And here Undyne was, in Alphys' lab, about to be tickled by her.
"Go ahead, just TRY and tickle me. I dare you. I double-dog dare you, motherfucker, just TRY me." Undyne teased Alphys sassily, crossing her arms behind her head, crossing her legs, and shamelessly showing off her bare, webbed-toed fish soles to everyone in the audience as she lazily reclined in her beach chair. Speaking of her feet, both of them were locked firmly in stocks.
"Hmph...very well, then. I would certainly hate to disappoint you!" Alphys snickered, humming a teasing theme as she deftly scraped her finger-claws over the soft, scaly surfaces of Undyne's soles, digging deeply into the poor fish lady's arches, up over the balls of her feet, and even into the delicate webbing in-between her toes. Undyne blushed very brightly and bit her lip, trying hard not to laugh.
"Now let's just see how sensitive that precious webbing of yours REALLY is!" Alphys laughed maniacally, pulling out her trademark Feather Chainsaw and sawing right in-between Undyne's dainty little toes with it. At about this point, Undyne just couldn't take it anymore.
"BWAHAHAHAHAAAH! NOT THE WE-HE-HEBBING! THAT'S MY WEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEEAKEST SPAH-HAH-HAH-HAHHHT!" Undyne burst out into a manic fit of laughter as Alphys took all of Undyne's clothes off and began sawing all over her entire body with the feathersaw, with actual legit waterfalls of tears (no exaggeration, by the way) pouring down her face the whole way through; meanwhile, Alphys was just plain laughing her ass off as she began passionately worshipping Undyne's feet with pure, unbridled love and affection.
For literally the FOURTH time in a row, Alphys won; at this point, Undyne could barely even contain herself anymore and was seriously just about ready to rip her own hair out.
"Say, I wonder...which one of us has the better crack shippings?" Undyne teased Alphys with a slyly winking smirk.
"Uhh...w-well..." Alphys stammered, drumming her fingers together and sweating nervously.
ALPHYS' ENTRY
"Um...h-hi there!" Alphys giggled nervously, sweating with fear as embarrassment as she was forced to sit across the table from Super Paper Mario's infamous Francis at a fancy restaurant.
"Oh my god, this place is so ridiculously overpriced and AWESOME! Omigod, omigod, thank you SOOO much for bringing me over here! NERRRRRR!" Francis stammered like an idiot.
"So, Francis, what does the scouter say about this restaurant's prices?" Alphys sighed while Francis was busy swinging the overhead chandelier around and around in circles with his tongue.
"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" Francis yelled at the top of his lungs, jumping on top of the table and crushing his scouter so hard that it literally made his poor hand bleed as his sheer weight caused the table to break and collapse while everyone seated around them gave them the evil eye in disapproval (as well as extreme annoyance).
"REALLY?" Alphys sighed, cocking an eyebrow at him in disbelief.
"No matter, I can always just reassemble this table and its oh-so-majestic might with my wonderful HI-TECHNICAAAL laptop of justice! NERRRRRR!" Francis boasted to the high heavens, frantically typing the most random and nonsensical of character combinations on his laptop as the local New York City police began to surround them.
"Uh...w-we can explain..." Alphys stammered in terror as the police got out their magic batons and readied themselves for some good old-fashioned police brutality.
CRASH! BOOM! BANG! POW! THWACK! KA-POW! QUACK!
"And STAY out, you disgusting FREAKSHOWS!" the waiter yelled at them, kicking their beaten, battered bodies out onto the curb and pouring a bucket of cold, slimy spaghetti all over their heads as the pouring thunderstorm of rain outside slowly but surely washed it off.
"Well, at least I finally went out for dinner with a HOT BABE for the very first time in my miserable, lonely, disgusting, pathetic LIFE, am I right?" Francis snickered, pus dripping down his face.
"YEAH...let's never go out to eat at a classy restaurant again, am I right?" Alphys sighed, very narrowly resisting her ever-growing primal urges to outright curbstomp Francis' stupid, ugly face into the ground as the two of them walked home to Francis' apartment.
LATER THAT NIGHT, IN FRANCIS' BEDROOM AT THE APARTMENT...
"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Francis laughed, "accidentally" spitting out his scalding-hot coffee all over Alphys' face. "You still wear FOOTIE pajamas! Oh, how adorably inexperienced and naive you are! Why, my pajamas cost like TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS and have their own interactive virtual reality hentai system that allows you to have your own lovely fake girlfriend to use as a pathetic, meaningless sex object with beautifully animated bouncing boobs and-"
"Okay, okay, o-okay, I've heard P-PLENTY enough!" Alphys stammered in shock and absolute disbelief at just how outright horrible and offensive of a stereotype Francis really was as she hurriedly ran up to him and covered his mouth with her hands...which he then began licking.
"OH, JUST FUCK OFF, YOU REVOLTING CREEPSHOW!" Alphys yelled bitterly at him, losing her patience entirely and slapping him across the face.
"Ow, what was THAT for?" Francis sobbed like a baby.
"Alright, don't be intimidated, Alphys, just try to imagine him in his underwear...OH NO, HE'S HOT!" Alphys thought to herself and then screamed out loud as Francis removed his clothes, revealing his beautifully toned and muscular body.
"Wait a minute...you're not even the real Francis, are you? You're just an actor!" Alphys teased him after the very sudden realization of how disturbingly attractive he actually was.
"Well, actually, no; I've just been on a very serious and HI-TECHNICAAAAAAL diet/exercise routine lately, which is precisely how I got these GLORIOUS ANIME ABS OF BEAUTY!" Francis bragged, flexing his muscles and posing sexily as the two of them wrapped their arms around each other and french-kissed each other more out of necessity than anything else.
"Heh...what's the matter, sweetheart? FRANCIS got your tongue?" Francis chuckled as their tongues accidentally tied themselves together into an overly tight knot.
"Um, YES, actually, and I CAN'T...SEEM TO...GET IT BACK!" Alphys strained herself in desperation as the two of them tried all night with all of their might to separate their tongues from each other...but alas, to no avail.
UNDYNE'S ENTRY
"Uh...hey there, Muffet, how's it going?" Undyne nervously asked Muffet, entering her lair.
"GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY OR DIE!" Muffet laughed as her spider babies attacked Undyne and stole literally all of her money to add to Muffet's already huge stockpile of riches.
"Very well, then...what exactly did you want to do, anyway?" Undyne asked.
"Uh...well, how about the two of us simply drink some tea together?" Muffet requested.
"Oh, COME ON, really? Tea is, like, literally one of THE most boring and overrated things EVER!" Undyne growled frustratedly at her.
"You mean like your fucking PERSONALITY?" Muffet bit back.
"Yes, like my fucking stupid, one-dimensional personality...wait, WHAT?!" Undyne yelled in sudden realization of what she was agreeing with; alas, however, it was already too late, because Muffet already had her firmly tied up with webbing and was dragging her over to the picnic table.
"So...since you gave me all of your money, I'll just let you have all eight of your requested cups of tea ON THE HOUSE, ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE!" Muffet laughed, forcefully pouring all eight scalding-hot cups of tea into Undyne's mouth at once.
"So, how does it taste?" Muffet asked her teasingly with a four-eyed wink.
"PAIN..." Undyne winced, coughing up blood as she struggled not to throw up all over the table.
"WRONG ANSWER, PAL!" Muffet laughed, calling out her massive army of spider babies. "SPIDERS! EAT HER FLESH OFF!"
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
"So...would you care for some delightful eight-armed handjobs, dearie?" Muffet asked Undyne, who had indeed gotten the entire outer layer of her flesh mauled off by Muffet's pets.
"Well, to put it nicely...NO, actually; in fact, personally I would much rather RIP YOUR FUCKING ARMS OFF AND SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR ASS!" Undyne growled furiously at her.
"Oh, wait, nevermind, your dick's already been eaten right off anyway! GWEHEHEHEE!" Muffet laughed while Undyne cried and screamed in desperation to break free of her spider-web bonds.
Well, what can I say? Of COURSE Alphys fucking won for the FIFTH time in a row.
"Just GIVE IT UP, Undyne!" Alphys laughed as her and Undyne returned to the lab yet again. "For crying out loud, I've beaten you literally FIVE TIMES IN A FREAKING ROW!"
"Hmm...you know what? I've got a PERFECT idea!" Undyne snickered, drumming her fingers together and cackling evilly. "Let's see which one of us can pull the better prank on the other!"
"Yawn...how about tomorrow, if you don't mind?" Alphys sighed, heading over toward the True Lab elevator exhaustedly. "It's literally almost midnight right about now, you know. You should probably get to bed."
"Oh MAN, she has absolutely NO idea what's coming to her..." Undyne thought devilishly to herself, drumming her fingers together and cackling even MORE evilly than before.
"What was that?" Alphys asked her sarcastically, presumably having literally read her mind.
"UM, NOTHING! HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S S-SLEEP, MA'AM!" Undyne stammered, breaking out into a fit of innocent whistling while Alphys went down the elevator eyeing her suspiciously.
"Alright, goodnight, guys..." Alphys sighed, greeting the Amalgamates exhaustedly as she entered her massive, orphanage-size bedroom, took off all of her clothing, and finally toppled over into bed as she did every night, falling deeply asleep in the process.
"PERFECT..." Undyne cackled, brandishing her spear ominously as she diligently spied on her best friend's sleeping routine through the lab's security camera system.
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Alphys VS Undyne