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Salty Gift of the Devil	By : uztre Category: +S through Z > Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Views: 20135 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own or claim ownership of or make any profit of any of the characters or other elements of The Witcher 3 contained within the story.

Chapter List
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Summary:
Ciri is in Novigrad and hiding from Whoreson Junior after the failed heist of Sigi Reuven's treasure. When she hears that Dudu has gotten caught by the crime boss and being tortured, the witcheress drops everything and decided to rescue her friend, to Dandelion's complete refusal. And then, before they know where they are, Ciri and the famous poet get officially married and leave the place in peace. How can all this happen?

Word count: 7160

Tags: wedding, fondling, spanking
It was midnight when Ciri and Dandelion were sneaking through the dark back alleys of Novigrad. Although the streets were deserted and silence ruled over the districts, both were even more cautious at every turn before they caught a glimpse around the next corner to proceed.

The reason was simple; Cyprian Wiley, more known as 'Whoreson Junior', was after them and one of the four crime bosses of Novigrad alongside Sigi Reuven, Carlo 'Cleaver' Varese, and Francis Bedlam. And as if this wasn't enough problem, Caleb Menge, the commander of the Temple Guard and leader of the Witch Hunters, was of the party too. Ciri and Dandelion maneuvered themselves into something they had completely lost control of, with the result that their lives including all of those who helped them being in danger as well.

And everything looked so promising at the beginning...

After the events in Velen, Ciri rode off to Novigrad and tracked down Dandelion to enlist his help in repairing a phylactery to lift the curse on Avallac'h without revealing his identity to anyone. As simple as it sounded, the harder the reality stroke back and knocked them down to earth. Before the witch hunts, it would have been very easy to find a mage ready to repair the device. When Ciri arrived though, she could have considered herself lucky to even find one magician alive or not already imprisoned by Menge's cutthroats.

So, Dandelion suggested seeking help from Whoreson Junior who claimed to have mage connections. In return for the phylactery's repair, he insisted on getting Sigi Reuven's fabulous treasure of about one and a half million crowns. Determined to help his best friend's foster-daughter, by all means, Dandelion accepted the deal and prepared with Ciri the heist to steal the gold. The plan was simple; wrangling Dudu (a doppler and Dandelion's friend) in Sigi's bathhouse to flush explosive substance down the pool before Ciri, Dandelion himself, and Bea's brothers and cousins sneaked through the sewer tunnels beneath the bathhouse to ignited the easily flammable stuff to punch a hole in the room where the treasure was.

And as much crazy everything sounded in theory, the more they were surprised when they actually achieved to steal Sigi Reuven's entire money. The plan worked out almost perfectly with two big exceptions. First, one of Bea's cousins died because of poisoning during his way back to the boots. Second, after they found a landing stage to unload the entire cargo, Caleb Menge himself and his temple guards attacked and stole the treasure from them. Fortunately, every one of the group was able to escape but they definitively lost their part of the bargain.

Shortly afterward, Ciri and Dandelion heard that Whoreson Junior would have kidnapped Dudu in order to draw them both out of their hideout in the Golden Sturgeon's basement. And the crime boss was successful because Ciri didn't listen to Dandelion who constantly requested her to leave the city and to bring herself to safety since Cyprian Wiley had no idea about her and her contribution to the deal and the heist. She ignored his words and was determined to rescue Dudu from Whoreson's claws to Dandelion's total discomfort.

"Got a bad feeling about this..."

"Calm down, Dandelion," Ciri said as they stood near the tower in temple isle. "We can't leave Dudu in Whoreson Junior's hands, you know that."

"I know, I know. But my gut can't be reasoned with, and no amount of sympathy I feel can silence it, blot it out."

"Cheer up. We can manage this, I'm certain," Ciri countered and smiled.

"Famous last words, right here." Dandelion sighed and was anything but confident to survive the rescue mission. Even though Whoreson Junior didn't know Ciri at all, the famous bard was aware of what was going to happen when she failed and was taken prisoner by the crime boss, what he usually did to women and prostitutes; raping, hanging, or forcing them into suicide. Being one of Novigrad's most dangerous criminals, Whoreson Junior had inherited his father's casinos, fighting ring and brothels, as well as the old man's sadistic tendencies, ruthlessness and lack of scruples. These traits had made the moniker 'Whoreson' something of a family heirloom for his powerful criminal clan.

Briefly speaking, Cyprian Wiley was not a person to be trifled with.

Dandelion wasn't a coward and Ciri clearly not a damsel in distress, more than capable of protecting herself and fighting entire groups of armed men if necessary. But often her temper was standing in her way to realizing when the right time had come to back off and accept that there was nothing she could do. And if something would happen to her, Geralt would never forgive him that, neither Yennefer nor Dandelion himself. He had to protect her at any cost, whether she liked it or not.

"Have you learned where Whoreson is keeping Dudu?" Ciri asked, her beautiful white hair waving in the wind as she adjusted the sheath of her witcher sword.

"Room on the top floor. One with the balcony."

"I'll need to cross onto the roof. Wait for me in front of Junior's house," Ciri explained and looked to her friend with expectant eyes, "and I know it's difficult, but try to look inconspicuous."

Dandelion frowned. "Still think this is a really bad idea. The entire building will be probably full of Cyprian's men and the upper floors too. And after what happened today at the landing stage and with his treasure, he's sure thinking we have defrauded him of money and been collaborating with the temple guards. Whoreson will expect another attack, Ciri. It is stupid to think you could just sneak inside and leave the place with Dudu again."

"I didn't presume it will happen without bloodshed anyway," Ciri admitted. "I'm more than ready to fight if he forces me to."

"Maybe I should go and talked to him myself, explain to him that we didn't betray him and--"

Ciri stopped listening and headed toward the next ladder, climbing up to the roof of the building next to Whoreson Junior's house. As she stood at the top and enjoyed the fresh air, she caught a rare sight of Novigrad's nightlife and beauty. There wasn't time to look inward, so Ciri trotted and jumped over one roof after another until she reached a house with a balcony and a large glass window which was standing ajar.

Looking through the gap inside, Ciri spotted Dudu tied to a wooden chair and his face full of blood. Behind him, four of Whoreson's stupidly painted and clothed men were standing guard while Cyprian himself was using his fists to give vent to his fury by punching several times his victim's belly.

"And now, my dear Dodo... I believe I'll try a different tool. Afraid I'm bored with this one."

"You're fucking barmy, Junior... Anyone tell you that?" Dudu said and spewed blood.

"No, most say I'm nice... once they get to know me."

As Dudu saw Ciri's emerald-green eyes staring through the gap, his own eyes widened in shock and his head slightly shook to indicate her that it was a bad idea to jump inside and play the heroine. Ciri, of course, interpreted his motions the complete reverse way...

Her hands already clasping the shaft of her deadly sword, the Lion Cub of Cintra pushed the window aside with her elbow and barged into a room where she had thought she had only to deal with a handful of armed men.

Well, Ciri thought wrong.

As her green eyes floated from right to left, she just realized that there were standing eight other armed men of Whoreson Junior's gang at the other side of the wall, looking at her with incredulous expressions while tightened the grip on their other tortured hostages Bea, her father Heinrich, five of her brothers and cousins, and two of Dudu's friends in total.

A shiver ran through Ciri with her lips wide open.

As if the situation didn't get more complicated, more of Whoreson's foot soldiers were sitting and standing on the next side of the room. Some of them were playing Gwent together on a table, others stretching their legs down the crates placed on all sides. If Ciri counted their numbers correctly now, there must have been more than twenty-seven thugs on the same floor eyeing up on her at the same time.

This was the very moment in which Ciri was totally stunned and didn't know what to do.

"Who the fuck are you!?" Whoreson asked angrily after slowly turning around.

Ciri tried to remember what her uncle Vesemir taught her about situations a witcher should better retreat and run instead of letting himself get cornered and forced into actions where there was no possible escape anymore. And this was clearly one of them. Mind running berserk, Ciri recognized four option how to handle this mess without getting killed herself.

First, she could just jump through the open window and flee, or just teleport herself away. Second, Ciri could take Whoreson Junior hostage and try to force him to release her friends and then let her go as well. Third, she could attack everyone and hope to win the entire battle. Fourth, she could try to bargain about a solution that fitt all. None of those options had a realistic outcome that guaranteed success.

For a real fight, there were too many enemies in a too narrow space. Even though Geralt taught her the so-called group style of combat, or how Lambert called it; Viroledan Naev'de Feaine Glaeddyv, Ciri had never reached the physical strength, stamina, and speed of a real witcher who was gone through one of the Trial of the Grasses' four steps, which required the consumption of special alchemical ingredients known as 'the grasses' and affected the physiology of the subject.

Literally translated, the group style was called the Nine Sun Swords. The swordsmen of Viroledo had originally developed it as a method for tackling several opponents through complex slashing techniques. Masters of this style were able to fight nine opponents simultaneously. Even if Ciri used her unique ability called 'blink' to teleport herself through and around their opponents, she was totally aware of the fact that she couldn't be so fast to swing her sword like a true witcher the technique needed to be applied. Defending herself against more than five enemies at the same time was off the cards, a wishful thinking.

And there were twenty-eight in the room...

"Fuckin' cunt, I asked you who you are!" Whoreson barked, drawing his sword and everyone immediately surrounded the young witcheress.

Ciri hadn't still decided yet what do to as she starred around her and into the empty eyes of her friends with each one having a knife on their throat.

"Hey, wait. This is a misunderstanding here. Where is Cyprian, my friend?!" Ciri heard Dandelion's voice and in person rushing upstairs and then elbowing his way through the armed crowd. As the sweaty bard achieved to put his arm around Ciri who looked as perplex as Whoreson and the entire gang, he swiftly disarmed her by pushing her hand down with the witcher sword and sideways to her back.

"Dandelion, what the fuck is all this supposed to mean here? Why is this... girl jumping through my window and wagging her sword?" Whoreson asked, gritting his teeth. "And where is my fuckin' money, man?!?"

Ciri felt how Dandelion's hand dropped to her waist and then pressed her body against his like they were some kind of a couple. Ciri played along by doing the same after quickly sheathing the sword.

"Oh, Cyprian, my friend, these are actually pretty good questions," Dandelion said and tried to act and sound cool as possible. Even if he achieved to look that way, Ciri felt how crazy his heart was throbbing inside his chest and how sweaty his skin began to get. If she didn't know him better, Ciri would have assumed he was on the verge of a panic attack. "How we all put down our weapons first and stop the torturing and speak with each other like civilized people we all have been."

Whoreson Junior frowned. "You have ten seconds to explain yourself... Tick-tock, tick-tock, the clock is running, Dandelion. I'd be quick if I were you. For your own and your friends' sake."

"Alright, alright. This is Ciri," Dandelion revealed and pointed to her. "And she has jumped through your window because... because... she needed to speak with you in person and knew your men would have never allowed it to her, even killed her... you know that, Cyprian."

Ugly eyes moving up and down, Whoreson scrutinized Ciri's sexy, pale body and outfit as if she was some kind of slave he could buy on the black market. Ciri shivered at the crime boss' piercing glimpses which seemed to be able to take off each part of her clothing and see her naked in front of him. The same went for his men, staring at her like she was some sort of fresh meat ready to get eaten alive.

And it wasn't like Ciri was wearing a very special and attractive outfit, anyway; a cotton cream white shirt with shiny silk stripe, a dark brown leather underbust corset, two dark brown suede and leather gloves and pants with studs, and plus light brown leather-heeled boots. As for accessories, Ciri was carrying a witcher sword hanging on a leather belt over her shoulder, of course, including a decorative silver belt with turquoise blue gems around her waist and a snakeskin belt with a golden buckle with two brown leather travel bags and a dagger strapped to it. The entire outfit was made for long and dangerous adventures, not to impress anyone on a boring banquet or to look pretty somehow.

And why should anyone find her attractive anyway? Ciri had ashen blond hair just reaching her shoulders with a loose bun, not to mention of her the big scar on her left cheek under the eye she had been always trying to cover it under a strand of hair. And by the gods, Ciri considered herself so clumsy when it came to her own makeup. Yes, she was using black eyeliner and eye-makeup in specific, but this always resulted in dark-smudged smokey eyes. Yennefer supposed to be much more talented in such thinks and Ciri wished nothing more than to lock herself in her mother's arms.

After a short awkward silence, Whoreson Junior grabbed Ciri's hand to kiss backside with a slimy smirk. "Pleasure to meet you, Ciri. Dandelion is a dumb-ass but he has a good taste when it comes to chicks... and women."

"Thanks," Ciri replied and was happy when he let go of her again. His hunched nose and angular shaped face grossed Ciri out.

"Dandelion, as much as I respect your coward decision to send a sexy girl ahead before you appear yourself... my question still remains the same: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY!?!"

Wincing, the eloquent bard and singer took quickly a deep breath and countered, "We didn't have it, Cyprian." As Whoreson beckoned to his men to kill him, Dandelion shouted, "Wait! I can explain it! Cyprian, my friend, we got robbed by Caleb Menge. It was a trap, I swear by my excellent reputation and honor. We don't try to cheat you, please you have to believe me! This is a huge misunderstanding."

Seven heavily armed men stepped forward and cast a long shadow on Dandelion and Ciri alike.

"Alright, you can have the Rosemary and Thyme your father gave me."

"Nice try, Dandelion. What I need is more cash and not immobile possessions."

Ciri was ready to draw her sword as Dandelion did what he could best: Talking without ceasing.

"Fair point, Cyprian. Then use the tavern as a safe place for your business in the south... Like some sort of reloading place for fisstech and whatever... the Rosemary and Thyme has the perfect location to consolidate your power over the entire city... And today we both know that the biggest problem for every legitimate crime boss is to find places and legal businesses to launder money... And, and the tavern has already a license and... You can start right off with your business and disguise your activities... And--"

Whoreson Junior's hand flipped in the air and his thugs stopped walking.

"You have temptin' ideas, Dandelion. And a fuckin' mouth that seems never to shut once."

"Thank you..."

"That wasn't a compliment..." Whoreson hissed and eyed Ciri up, being clearly up to something. "And I'd really consider the idea and accept your offer IF my stupid father himself hasn't taught me once a very important lesson. You know which?"

Dandelion swallowed and shook his head.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"

"I swear to the Gods we didn't betray you, Cyprian!" the bard tossed in. "We still need you to repair the phylactery. How should we suppose to do this without your help?"

"What is this phylactery good for anyway? Never told me the reason why you accepted to take such risks for its repair. Spit it out!"

Dandelion looked at Ciri as if he had finally found a way out of this situation but she wasn't going to like it, not at all.

"Ehm, this is pretty simple... because of... ehm--"

"Nice try, Dandelion. Kill everyone, guys! I'm sick of all this here."

"Nooo!!! Wait, wait, Cyprian. Didn't you know? The phylactery is supposed to be a wedding gift... ehm... for..." Dandelion's eyes darted around in despair, first stopping at Bea and then jumping over to Ciri who gazed back at him with a blank expression. There wasn't much of a choice. So, he told what he had to save everyone's neck. "Ciri... it's for Ciri here, Cyprian... Ciri and I getting married."

Dandelion's entire body was twitching after his last sentence as if he had just signed his own death sentence. On the other side, Dudu and all the other hostages' jaws almost dropped to the floor. They were clearly trying to figure out whether what they had just heard really came out of the bard's lips. Bea stared at her father, and he looked at Dudu who, in return, gazed at Ciri whose eyebrows arched in amazement and disbelief, never expected such outcome. Even Dudu's friends and Bea's cousins and brothers appeared to be smitten with surprise.

The only question was whether Whoreson Junior was going to believe them and see it as a sign to show mercy to accept Dandelion's counteroffer with the Rosemary and Thyme.

"All this for LOVE and this beauty here?" asked Whoreson, as the bard nodded in approval, not being able to look into his should-be fiance's emerald eyes. His own words caught himself off-guard. Ciri wished someone would poke and tell her that all this was just a bad, kinky dream. Not that she didn't like to see how Dandelion tried to talk himself into trouble and save them from certain death, but pushing them both into a marriage felt a little bit hasty and wrong.

"Dandelion, Dandelion. It seems I really misjudged you, man. Why didn't you tell me somethin' earlier?" Whoreson suddenly glomped the pale pet brotherly, making him cringe. "You know how much I like love stories and especially weddings. Apropos wedding, when did you plan to have yours again?"

"In two weeks," replied Ciri this time to give Dandelion time to recover a bit before he came up with more stupid things they couldn't undo. They were in the shit enough.

"Fiddlesticks! I suggest you have your weddin' party here and now in my house with all these lovely friends of yours as your witnesses. What do you think about that, huh?"

Dudu and the others couldn't believe what was going on right now.

According to Whoreson's undertone, his question wasn't an offer but a prerequisite if they wanted to keep their lives. Ciri, however, was determined to drive up the price as much as possible in case she really had to marry Dandelion to save not only her own life and his but her friends too.

"Alright," Ciri agreed with a smile, "but under one condition."

Whoreson crossed his arms and smirked.

"A girl who knows what she wants. Good. I'm listenin'."

"I will only give up my greatest dream of marrying my precious Dandelion here in a massive ceremony if you release all my friends and promise me to never bother them again," insisted Ciri while looking straight into her enemy's eyes.

"Okay. And I will forget about Sigi Reuven's treasure as long as you and Dandelion here keep your side of the bargain and run the tavern for my business, none of you should get punished or killed in any way. Deal?"

Dandelion's breathing became more and more unsteady and deep, and Ciri was afraid he could be seized with panic and run for his life. Realizing the problem, ashen-haired witcheress saw no other way than to agree.

"Deal."

"Perfect. And you, Dandelion?"

The usually eloquent poet just nodded and wiped off the sweat from her forehead.

"Beautiful," Whoreson said. "Let me get a novigradian registrar and a priest of the Church to make this entire event official. Damn, I love weddings. It's like a man is gonna get castrated and trapped in slavery for the rest of his life..." With quick motions of his fingers, he ordered his men to release everyone.

"This is freaking nightmare, please God help me," Dandelion muttered as Ciri nudged him to keep him from jeopardizing the entire situation. Quickly and without much fuss, Dudu and the others were set free and coming together, looking at each other with wide, unbelieving eyes. The whole wedding thing was absolutely absurd. Ciri could read it out her faces. Before they were able to exchange a word, they were accompanied downstairs to the second floor to wait until both needed officials arrived to officiate the wedding.

As much as Ciri was ready to draw her sword and fight her way through Whoreson's men, the truth was that Dandelion was right in the first place. The entire house was crawling with armed foot soldiers. Cyprian Wiley recalled almost all his men after the events with the temple guards and surrounded himself with an entire army. A rescue mission would have been futile.

And as much as Ciri found funny the idea of being married to Geralt's best friend, it really came out as the only solution in which the number of casualties remained zero. Dandelion achieved this without having the slightest idea what the price for it was going to be. Well, he knew now, and he obviously couldn't handle it as much as she did. For now, both could be considered themselves happy when they got home unharmed and in one piece.

"Is this really for real, Ciri?" whispered Dudu after washing off his face and hands, one of his eyes not in its place anymore where it should have been. "You gonna marry to save us?"

"I'm afraid yes, Dudu. Ten lives in return for a non-meaningful contract. Do not go to lose any sleep over it. With will deal with the consequences later... I'm just so sorry we didn't come to help you sooner.... your right eye..."

The lines in the doppler's face contorted to a friendly smirk. "An eye for a life. A good deal if you ask me. Don't think about it, Ciri."

"To be honest, all credit belongs to Dandelion. If it was up to me, I guess we wouldn't have made it out here at all."

Bea approached and hugged Ciri, then Dandelion. Tears ran down her freckled cheeks.

"In the name of my entire family, thank you. Both of you. You didn't need to come back but you did. We will never forget that." Bea's father Heinrich nodded in approval.

Everyone was very happy, except for Dandelion who appeared like he was going to commit suicide very soon, and Ciri knew why; the meaning of marriage as a socially and ritually recognized union. Dandelion was forty-three years old. Men in his age usually had settled down to a family life and had several kids (and wives). Dandelion was one of the big exceptions on the continent because he loved to be a womanizer and to woo pretty much every young girl he encountered.

Since he was considered by women as being very handsome and eloquent, Dandelion also tended to be overconfident, assuming he could woo everyone (even shady criminals) and considering himself much more worldly wise than he actually was. Dandelion was a dreamer and savorer, loved his independence and profession of a bard and poet more than anything.

And a marriage represented the exact opposite of what made Dandelion out as the promiscuous and frivolous person he used to be. A marriage would force him to take responsibility not only for himself but also for other people for the rest of his life. A marriage would demand from him to actually open his heart and admit feelings to another woman and make himself vulnerable in a way he couldn't just abandon her after the first fight and sings of problems.

Briefly speaking, a marriage meant to Dandelion to become someone he wasn't. And even though the entire marriage thing they both ran into now was totally fake, the bard couldn't ignore his greatest fear in his life was somehow getting real. And to be clear, Ciri was totally aware of the fact what kind of personal sacrifice her friend had just made to rescue her and all the others. I didn't look that way but Dandelion was a real hero at the moment.

"Are you okay?" asked Ciri her friend who was near vomiting the panic out of his stomach.

"No... If Geralt and Yennefer ever find out about this, our friendship will be over. Or worse."

"I think they will rather thank you for saving my life and those of my friends and calling me a moron instead. Without you Dandelion, no one would be here now. You are a damn brave."

Ciri smiled and hugged Dandelion, kissed him on his cheek, causing him to twitch with reluctance.

"I shouldn't have told him your real name..." blamed Dandelion.

"I will sign and take my marriage vow by using my nickname, Ciri of Vengerberg, anyway."

Dandelion snorted and finally seemed to relax a bit, smiling at her nickname.

"Yennefer would be proud... But if you do that, Ciri, you know we have only three days before they realize that this isn't your real identity, right? The novigradian register office will cancel the status immediately. And by doing so, Whoreson Junior will know it too."

As Ciri wanted to say something, an old priest of the Church and a marriage registrar walked up the stairs in their official clothing. Unlike the marriage registrar, the priest didn't look like it was just rudely awakened minutes ago, emitting a strong aura of trustworthiness and confident Ciri couldn't explain. As the old, white-haired man stood before them, his friendly expression and innocent smile surprised them all. Unlike the higher priest Ciri usually saw in Novigrad, he was wearing a very simple, modest black frock.

"Father Kusak..." Dandelion muttered, bowed respectfully. Everyone in the room joined him, except for Ciri who made a confused expression.

"Julian, my son, this is not a joke to mock an old man in the middle of the night, right?" Father Kusak kept smiling. His authoritarian presence was remarkable.

"I am afraid not, Father." Dandelion's disdainful glimpse went short to Whoreson Junior.

"What a historic day it is then to see how the most eligible bachelor of the continent has finally found a woman who achieved to touch his true, secret heart."

Dandelion couldn't much do than to smirk awkwardly.

"So, my child," Father Kusak said and turn his attention to Ciri, "you are the impressive woman who achieved the impossible. Literally. I think I'm not exaggerating if I assume that everyone would like to know how you did this but I'd be content for now if I just know your name."

"Ciri, Father, my name is Ciri," the ashen-haired witcheress repeated and bowed shortly.

"Ah, Ciri for Cirilla in short. A beautiful name. Worthy of an empress..."

A painful jolt rushed through their bodies as Ciri and Dandelion exchanged glances, and he began to twitch and sweat again like before. The plan of Ciri using a fake identity didn't seem an option anymore...

"Shall we get over with the ceremony now, Thomas?" asked the novigradian registrar, yawning.

Father Kusak's smile got wider and wider, his ice-blue eyes locked on Ciri's.

"Sure. Cyprian, you have the rings as you mentioned?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Then let us start with the ceremony. I suggest Mister..."

"Dudu..."

"Mister Dudu and his male companions act as Julian's groomsmen. And Miss..."

"Bea..."

"Miss Bea as Ciri's only bridesmaid-- What, son?" Father Kusak asked calmly after Whoreson was constantly stretching his arm in the air.

"I like to be a groomsman too, Father. It's so seldom that I can attend such beautiful ceremonies. Please, let me be Dandelion's first groomsman. Please...."

"Julian?"

"If it's really necessary..." Dandelion stated after a deep sigh.

"Then I'd like to ask the audience to rally around our plighted lovers now, so we can start."

Without making a fuss, Whoreson's armed men circled and positioned themselves around Ciri and Dandelion. Dudu, Bean, and the others including Cyprian moved behind their appropriate counterpart and acted as calm and happy as possible, even though everyone knew it was just show and necessity to not getting killed.

As much as Ciri would have liked to kill Whoreson and end this charade of a marriage ceremony, she swallowed her anger and looked forward. They only needed to get out of this place. Later, they could ponder over the consequences. And there were many because it looked the way that Whoreson was up to use her and Dandelion for his own criminal purposes with the phylactery being more out of their reach.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of family and friends to celebrate the joining of these two in the unity of marriage," Father Kusak started with the official ceremony and smiled at Ciri and her future husband who was drowning panic and sweat. "There are no commitments on earth sweeter or more tender than those you are about to make to one another. There are no vows more solemn than those you about to state. There is no human institution more sacred than that of the home you have formed. True marriage is the holiest of all earthly relationships. The state of matrimony is based in this deep union of two people who seek to find completion in one another."

Ciri and Dandelion bandied strange looks as they reached out their hands.

"Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove, will you take Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, whose hands you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife. Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony, meaning will you love and comfort her, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

Eyes widening total shock at the mentioning of Ciri's full name, the ashen-haired witcheress and the cornflower-blue-eyed poet asked themselves whether they both got busted. Dandelion almost fell backward at the thought the situation could get out of control again. But nothing happened. It appeared that they both were the only ones on the entire room who knew who Ciri really was, apart from Father Kusak, of course.

Ciri nudged Dandelion to say his little sentence but he hesitated as expected. As Whoreson Junior cleared his throat and Dudu coughed slightly, he finally got himself to say, "I-I will."

His face resembled a deathly ill animal who begged to get shot and put out of its misery...

"Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon will you take Julian Alfred Pankratz, whose hands you hold, choosing him alone to be your wedded husband. Will you live with him in the state of true matrimony, meaning will you love and comfort him, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

"I will," Ciri said without wasting more time.

"To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward... hand in hand... along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare... And always believe that all things are possible with faith and love in the Holy Fire, and in each other," Father Kusak said. "You have brought rings as a token of your sincerity, may I have them please?"

Whoreson Junior stepped forward and handed over the rings. Ciri couldn't believe he was really having tears running down his face.

"So, let us pray together. Bless O Holy Fire these rings that each gives and receives and wears as a token of the covenant between them and the Gods, and may they ever abide in your peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness, and with good purpose, doing your will. Holy Fire, enlighten us, protect us!"

"Holy Fire, enlighten us, protect us!" Everyone else shouted in unison.

Father Kusak took out one ring and give it to Dandelion.

"Julian, please repeat after me as place this ring on Cirilla's finger: With this ring, I thee wed."

Ciri feared her normally eloquent friend was gonna pass out any second and was all the happier when he repeated with a broken voice, "W-with this ring, I thee wed," and pushed through her finger. It was a little wonder it worked because of his very moist palms.

"Cirilla, please repeat after me as place this ring on Julian's finger: With this ring, I thee wed."

Looking up, Ciri stated amusingly, "With this ring, I thee wed", and let the ring disappear on Dandelion's finger. It just slipped through.

Bea seemed to be crying, and Whoreson Junior too, of course...

"In as much as you Julian and you Cirilla have consented together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your faith each to the other in the presence of these witnesses. Now, by the authority vested in me by the Church of the Holy Fire, I now pronounce you as husband and wife! You may kiss."

An awkward silence fell over the place with everyone waiting the happily married couple to kiss each other but Dandelion just looked stonily and didn't surge forward like the male partner used to do. His face was pale, lips quivering, and eyes empty and round. Dandelion treated her as if she was infected by the Catriona plague and even the slightest touch was able to cost him his life (or an imaginary Yennefer punching him in the face).

People were still waiting.

So, Ciri took the initiative, and to make sure Dandelion wasn't going to throw himself sideways or just upon her, she tilted her head forward and immediately pressed her lips on his and then let go of him as fast as possible. It was just a kiss. Nothing special and meaningful at this very moment. This didn't hinder Dandelion's eyes from gaping in disgust and make the entire 'we-are-married-now' situation pretty unbelievable.

Nonetheless, Whoreson himself and his entire stupid army clapped their hands in joy. They seemed to have bought it...

Next, the novigradian marriage registrar stepped forward and handed a quill to sign off several roles of papers. Quick-wittedly and to Ciri's gladness, Dandelion took the quill and just affixed his signature on every page necessary, his hand shivering. When he was done, the bard almost let the pen fall but achieved to catch in the air again. If Ciri would have really felt that Dandelion was now her husband, she would be embarrassed by him.

But she was not, thanks to the entire circumstance.

After Ciri had done the same, Dudu and the others were curious about what was going to happen next and whether Whoreson Junior was going to keep his word.

"That was incredible. Just perfect. Whatcha think guys?" Cyprian asked with a stupid smirk, putting his arms around Dandelion and Ciri, both shaking at the same time.

"Yeah, the best moment in my life," Ciri countered cynically. "Can we go now?"

"Sure, sweetheart. I will come tomorrow morning and personally make sure that the Rosemary and Thyme is running and efficient as promised. Can't wait to make so money with you... especially with the female ones." Whoreson gave Bea and then Ciri a wink, and then took two handfuls of both girl's tasty butt by digging his bold fingers deep into them and fondling their quality. And what kind of tasty asses the girls had...

Ciri and Bea got jumped, and before the witcheress could respond and break the crime boss' nose, he already ceased but then lunged out and gave their luscious ass cheeks a firm spank that made their flesh wiggle in delight. Whoreson Junior was marking his future intentions beforehand, and Dandelion and Bea's father just scowled and acted like they didn't know what was really going around. Ciri had to make a serious conversation with Dandelion once they were back home.

"But let my men escort you first to make sure that you reach your desired destination. Not that fuckin' Caleb Menge finishes you all off before we had the real fun together, right?"

"That's not necessary. We know our way home," Ciri tossed in.

"I must insist on that, sweetheart. Dandelion and his wife's good health are my first and foremost responsibility from now on. Don't make me beg here, please."

"Fine..." Ciri agreed, just wanted to leave the place as fast as possible, as she headed on and pushed her way out through Whoreson's army with Bea and Dandelion right behind her. Outside, the moonlit night became apparent of the most alluring side. Birds were flying in the air and smoke was emerging of every chimney. Each aspect of scenery was emitting a peaceful and romantic energy that emotionally affected men and women alike.

However, this was true for everyone except for Dandelion. The very moment the bard stepped outside, he bent forward and opened his lips, body spasming and trembling, as a thick stream of vomit abandoned his stomach through the gullet and splashed on Whoreson's house while Dandelion kept coughing and suffering. The whole my-best-friends-life-is-in-danger and marriage thing was clearly too much for him.

"Oh, man..." Dudu muttered and clapped the poet on the shoulder. The escort party of Whoreson was impatiently hopping from one foot to the other. They had to move on.

"I suggest we can't go back to our own home tonight?" Bea asked Ciri.

"I don't think so, too. Never mind, you and your family can take the rooms upstairs. There is enough space for all of us. And tomorrow morning, you can leave the Rosemary and Thyme without a problem, believe me... The same goes for you too, Dudu, and your friends."

The doppler gave a wink in approval by the only working eye before he came closer and whispered to Ciri, "The phylactery. Whoreson still has it. What's going to happen to it?"

"I know. Will talk about it tomorrow when he comes to see the tavern in person. For now, I'm just happy that no one had to die because of all the mess I brought you all into. Let's go!"

During their way back, no one spoke a word until they finally arrived. Many were just too shocked to say something. Others needed time and space to reflect. Dandelion was dealing with something in between and constantly looking at the ring on his finger, causing Ciri to stop that. Once inside the building, Whoreson's men stayed and stood guard at all exits and entries. The question was for their safety or because of them?

Ciri gave a damn about the answer, just aiming to get some rest and time to think. Not being out of the woods yet, they needed to open a tavern that was in shabby condition and hadn't seen customers for months. Barrels and crates were spread all over the main hall, the bedrooms upstairs covered in dust. The Rosemary and Thyme resembled a hovel.

While everyone was sitting around and mulling over in the main floor, Ciri bandaged Dudu up and apologized for everything that happened to him. Dandelion handed out the remaining reserves of beer and wine.

"Oh, forget about it, Ciri," the doppler said and smiled as much as he could. "We should better think how we get out of this whole mess again. When Whoreson appears tomorrow, this place must look like it is running and making some cash. Otherwise, we won't make it much longer than today. Especially the kitchen and the counter here needs to get spruced very quickly. And we need to order alcohol and food as well."

"Where the hell is Zoltan when we need him!" butted Dandelion in.

"Dudu, I heard you are a really good cook. I suggest you are responsible for the kitchen from now on, okay? And Dandelion, you will organize some performers and musicians, be responsible for every room upstairs. I will stand behind the counter and serve drinks and food," Ciri suggested and received everyone's approval.

"Don't forget about us, child. We will help you too," Bea's father confirmed. "Tomorrow, I will immediately go back to the Golden Sturgeon and send you some barrels alcohol and boxes with food. My sons here will make sure it happens quickly and also help you to knock the entire place into shape. If that Whoreson wants a tavern, he shall get one."

Ciri nodded thankfully and took a sip of her beer. While everyone was thinking about the whole situation, silence overlapped the place, and a smirk crossed the ashen-haired witcheress' face and she looked over to Dandelion with the earnest way possible to say," Hey, Dandelion. I thought since we are an officially married now, you know, shouldn't we go upstairs and enjoy our first wedding night as a wife and husband?"

Dudu and the others couldn't stop laughing together when Dandelion almost spilled the entire beer mug over his chest and spewed out, looked at Ciri with piercing eyes whether she was really serious about her unfunny proposal.

The atmosphere finally relaxed and brightened immediately.
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Salty Gift of the Devil