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Dawn of Beginning	By : EunjiMinJeon Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 2459 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age world nor characters.

Chapter List
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One of his hands moved to her cheeks while the other rested around her waist. Both of her arms had slipped around his neck as their kiss became more passionate. Sirena had felt Cullen pull away from her almost like he was trying to stay in control. Her eyes slowly opened as she looked into his eyes in a daze. Did he want her as much as she wanted him? Both of their breathing was uneven but slowly calming down.
“We should head back to the others.” The outlander nodded her head halfheartedly, not really wanting to move. She felt his hands slip away from her waist, feeling a chill where his hands once were. As he stood up straight, her arms fell to her sides. Looking up a bit, she noticed Cullen had offered one of his arms to her which ended up making her smile. Her hand slipped into the crook of his arm, then they headed back inside of the palace. The warmth of the building had enveloped her which made her feel better than being in the chilly night.
Silently, the American walked beside Cullen till they had reached the entrance of the Winter Palace where she saw a fairly big group of people. Two of them were new from the looks of it. As she approached everyone, Sirena saw her friend Chiara which made her smile. Her eyes darted to look at the other new comer only to recognize the person as none other than Morrigan. Of course, she knew the purpose of having the witch around which was why the young woman kept her mouth shut. Sirena removed her hand from the Commander’s arm to move beside her friend who was in the same predicament as her.
They all left the palace into the chilly air. Walking down some flight of stairs, everyone had made it to what she would call a driveway. It was one of those fancy round-about ones which made it easier to leave a property. In a group of four, each piled into a carriage. There were only three people left that had to sit together. The American sighed as she noticed that she was going to be in the same one as Morrigan. With some disappointment, Sirena climbed into the medieval vehicle with her friend behind her. Once she was settled in, her head rested back.
“Rumor has it a certain girl is with the Commander.” Morrigan’s dark eyes immediately landed on the woman in pink.
“Rumor has it, you like to get into people’s business.” Her retort caused Chiara to look at her in shock.
“Does he know?” What kind of question was that? Since the witch knew about her, she assumed it was about her origins.
“Know about what?” Morrigan rolled her eyes at the girl while Chiara looked a bit baffled with what was going on.
“Does he know you’re not from Thedas at all but from a far future? A different world?” Though, it may have been obvious, it was better to hear it out loud. Of course, she’d be found annoyed in the process.
“Why would he need to know?” The other American was very curious at this point; the only reason she told people was because she wanted help but it turned out others had used her instead because of her trusting nature.
“To simply put it, your friend is seeing the Commander.” Chiara looked at Sirena with her eyes widen in surprise.
“You’re dating Cullen Rutherford?” The twenty-three-year-old nodded her head remaining silent. “What!? That is honestly astonishing especially since you’re not from here. Does he even know?” There was that question again. Maybe they want to help her? Or maybe one of them wants to plan for her demise. There was only one way to find out.
“No, he doesn’t know, not yet at least. I plan on telling him, I just don’t know when. The timing is just never right even though he’s been so forth coming to me.” Sirena did feel bad that she was only telling part of her truth. Maybe there would never be a good time to have the conversation with him and perhaps it needed to happen anyway despite of how she felt.
“With big news like ours there is no way to tell it. It’s just better to get it out of the way. Besides, you can’t keep it from forever Sirena; he has the right to know.” The outlander couldn’t agree more. Cullen really did have the right to know and they have been seeing each other for a while. With a sigh, she leaned forward while resting her arms on her lap. In a way, she was scared to tell him. The less people who knew about where she came from was always better.
“I will talk to him as soon as possible.” Her eyes then turned to Morrigan only to see her looking at her with a serious expression. The look she was receiving from the all too serious woman had intimidated her.
“Good, the sooner you tell him, the better it will be for the both of you. You do want to go back home, do you not?” The question stunned her into silence. Did she want to go back home? Perhaps, with Cullen, she found a new home in Thedas. Was that what she wanted?
“If it isn’t?” Chiara got even more flabergasted from her answer; it was especially clear when Sirena glanced over at her friend.
“You’re willing to stay here with him? What about your family? Education? Career?” Questions were getting thrown at her. Was she being selfish for not thinking most of those were not important? Of course, it was something she really needed to think about; it isn’t something the young woman should decide on a whim.
“Yes, you clearly need to think about the future you want for yourself. You also may want to think about the consequences of being part of a noble family.” Sirena wondered if Morrigan actually cared and wanted to warn her or if she just wanted her gone. The behavior, to her, was suspicious to say the least. Not wanting to carry on the conversation, she just nodded her head and remained tight-lipped.
Silence filled the carriage as it bounced from the holes in the ground. It was a bit uncomfortable for the fake blonde to be in the same space as the older woman. Her eyes had been closed for majority of the ride for she wanted to feign sleep. For her, it was the easiest way to avoid another conversation. If it was just her and Chiara, most likely she’d be talking. With her eyes still closed, the outlander felt the horse drawn carriage had come to a stop. Listening close to what was going on, she heard footsteps crunching on the ground before a creak of the door opening before there were any voices.
“Is she asleep?” An all too familiar voice was heard. Soon there was movement as the other two got out, leaving herself and the man.
“Yes, this lady had fallen asleep during the ride. She has been out for a while now.” A sigh had escaped someone’s lips before she felt more jostling. Soon after, Sirena felt one of the person’s arms slip under her knees while the other supported her back to pick her up bridal style. How many times has it been?
“I’ll take her to her room.”
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The American had no idea when she had actually fallen asleep. That used to happen to her all the time back in her modern world whenever she watched the television. Sirena felt like she wanted a lazy day, but knew a certain conversation needed to happen. With a sigh, she put soft purple under skirt on before the ivory tank top. To complete the old-fashioned dress, a white over robe with wide sleeves that had a floral print at the end was put on before securing the robe with a purple sash which was tied around her tiny waist. The young woman slipped on her light purple floral slippers before making her way over to her vanity. She looked like a zombie in her eyes as she gazed at her reflection. Letting out a low groan from looking at her appearance, she had laid her head down on her arms not wanting to see herself again. Sirena lifted her head back up; ignoring her tired looking face and put her hair up in a half up hair-do then put in decorative hair pins. Next up was her face. Since she was feeling lazy, the American decided on simple and natural look was better for her. She then applied her make up without even bothering to use blush. With the light make up on, she actually looked pretty decent despite her being tired.
Feelings somewhat better about her appearance, she took a last look in the mirror before leaving her chambers. Her body moved sluggishly as she walked through the large keep. As she walked, the outlander had thought of many different ways the conversation she wanted could go. Some of the imagines were good, but the others were not. It was the negativity in her brain that made her scared. At this point, she was afraid to lose him. As Sirena approached his door, she gripped onto her robe’s skirt tightly. With hesitation, the blonde woman opened the Commander’s office door and entered the dimly lit room only to see a man in green in the corner but no Cullen.
“The Commander is not here miss.” He must have seen her looking around for him.
“Do you know where I can find him?”
“He has gone to speak with the Seeker Pentaghast.”
“Thank you.” Forcing her steps to move faster than the sluggish pace, the American made her way to where the blacksmith was located. Luckily, she knew where to go immediately due to all the gaming she had done. To top it all off, his wasn’t that far from where she needed to go. After approaching the building, voices could be heard from the outside. To her, it sounded like a heated discussion. Sirena listened in on the conversation for a little. Of course, it was wrong to eavesdrop but the curiosity was killing the cat. After hearing enough, the outander barged into the smithy buildings which only made the conversation halt. Cullen had only glanced at her as if he was ashamed before quickly storming out. Her eyes followed his movements with worry while wondering if he was okay after he said “forgive me”. What did he need to be forgiven of?
“And people say I’m stubborn.” Sirena heard Cassandra say with exasperation. “This is ridiculous. Did Cullen tell you that he no longer takes lyrium?” While nodding her head, she turned to face the authoritative seeker who looked serious.
“He did in fact tell me and I respect his decision.”
“As do I. Not that he’s willing to listen.” The young woman could tell that Cassandra had more things to say, so, she remained silent to listen to what she had to say. “Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him. I refused. It’s not necessary.” Her brows furrowed in confusion as to why Cullen would think so low of himself. The American knew it was lyrium related. “Besides, it would destroy him. He’s come so far.”
“If he was struggling so much, why didn’t he come to me?” It may have sounded selfish but she was concerned about him. In a way, it did hurt her feelings a bit since she was supposed to be someone he could go to and share his worries with.
“We had an agreement long before you and the Inquisitor joined us. As a seeker, I could watch out for the potential dangers. And he wouldn’t want to… risk your disappointment.” After hearing that, Sirena let out a sight. She would honestly have done the same thing. Only difference was, she’d have hidden her pain from everyone and deal with it on her own.
“Is there anything we can do to change his mind?”
“If anyone could, it’s you. Mages have made their suffering known, templars on the other hand never have. They are bound to the order, mind and soul, with someone always holding the lyrium leash. Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove to himself and to anyone that wants to follow suit, that it is possible. He can do this. I knew that when I met him in Kirkwall. Talk to him Sirena, decide if now is the time.” Silently, the young outlander watched as Cassandra left, leaving her in the blacksmith building. How did the day become so complicated? All she wanted to do was tell Cullen everything about herself, instead, the American was worrying about the person she cared about. As quickly as possible, her feet pounded on the ground, running towards the man’s tower.
Seeing that the door to his office was already wide open, her pace had slowed down. Now she was walking towards the entrance, very close to the doorframe when she heard a yell. Hearing the sound of someone chucking an object, the American jumped back in shock after almost getting hit causing her to let out a little squeak. Luckily, the object only hit the door.
“Maker’s breath! I didn’t hear you enter! I… Forgive me.” Just the tone of his voice pained her. The young woman wanted to run to her man and give him a hug but knew that wasn’t a good idea. Not now at least.
“Cullen, if you ever need to talk to someone…” Before she was even able to finish her sentence, he had interrupted her.
“You don’t have to- “Immediately, she heard him groan in pain and lost his balance. Thankfully, his desk was close and he used it to lean against. Seeing the usually strong man in the state he was in, made tears well up in her eye as she ran towards him, ready to help if he needed it. “I never meant for this to interfere.” Stepping closer to him, she placed her hand over his.
“Are you going to be alright?”
“Yes…” That little simple answer was a big fat lie and she knew it. A brow was raised at him to make it clear that she didn’t believe him. “I don’t know. You asked what happened to Fereldon’s circle a while back. It was taken over by abominations. The other templars, my friends, were slaughtered in front of me.” The man who was in pain had finally regained some strength to her relief as she watched Cullen straitening up a bit before moving to the window. How was she going to talk about herself now? “I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I…” The poor man had it rough in his young adulthood. “How can one be the same person after that? Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted the person who was my Knight-Commander. And for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness and chaos. Kirkwall’s circle fell and innocent people died in the streets. Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life anymore?” Sirena had remained silent to let her boyfriend talk. Though, as soon as he turned towards her with anguish on his face, she saw that she finally had an opening.
“Of course, I understand. I – “As soon as she tried to talk again, he had cut her off for the second time. Though, this time, it startled her.
“Don’t! You should be questioning what I’ve done!” With that comment, the young woman wanted to snap. “I thought this would be better for me; that I would regain some control over my life. But these thoughts won’t leave me.” What could she possibly do to make him feel better? “How many lives depend on our success! I swore myself to this cause…” Sirena sat on his desk and waited for him finish venting. “I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the chantry. I should be taking it!” She could see his addiction was taking control over him. Eventually he hit his bookcase which made her jump.
“This situation of your does not need to be about the Inquisition Cullen. Is this really what you want?” Slowly, but surely, she was losing her patience. He fought so hard for so long there was no way she was going to let him go down that path. With her own anger, she slid off the desk and stepped towards him. When she heard him sigh, the young blonde let herself calm down.
“No, but these memories have haunted me for a while; if they become worse, if I can’t endure this…” The look in his eyes were her sign. Keeping quiet, her arms slipped around him to give a comforting hug.
“You can make it through this. I know you can.”
“Alright.” He resigned before smiling softly. Sirena really needed to talk to him about her secret. Sadly, after his break down, she felt it was wrong to bring it up. As the young woman held Cullen a sound of a door slamming open was heard throughout the room. Immediately, her friend, Chiara was spotted coming into his office.
“You know… after being here all this time, I’m still not used to this world.” At once her eyes widened and her heart began to beat hard and fast against her ribcage. Did Chiara not see Cullen was in the room? It was his office after all. “Hopefully we can go back to our own time soon.” Her eyes looked up to see the Commander with confusion written on his face.
“What does she mean Sirena?” How was she going to start this conversation? Luckily, her friend opened the door for her to get it started.
“Chi-Chi, do you mind leaving the room for a bit?” Watching her friend closely, it was clear she didn’t know Cullen was in the room from the way she avoided making eye contact with anyone. With a nod of her head, Chiara left the room fairly quickly. The outlander looked up at Cullen again before letting out a deep sigh. “You may want to sit for what I have to tell you.” Sirena removed her arms from her boyfriend. He didn’t get very far and sat on his desk. It was clear from the way he crossed his arms that he indeed was waiting for her explanation. “This isn’t easy for me to say. No one knows – I take that back, only one person that I know of knows about my situation and it wasn’t me who told the person. Actually, you’d be the first and only person I’ve personally told.” When she looked at him again, Sirena noticed him raising a brow. She knew the Commander was going to remain silent to let her continue. “I am not from this time or this world period. I am from the modern world where there are vehicles for transportation. We have computers and gaming consoles. The computer was where that stalker came from which is called cyberstalker since they are only able to follow someone through different websites.” By this point her gaze had dropped down to look at her shoes.
It had been a few minutes since she had told him the truth about her past. The silence felt like forever at this point, she felt ashamed for keeping quiet about it all this time. At least she told him in the end thanks to her friend. As the silence carried on, the outlander wondered what was going through his head. Would he leave her because of this? “I’d understand if you want nothing to do with me after this. It’s a lot to take in.” Once she said that, her blue-green eyes looked up at Cullen to see him pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m not going to leave you; not over this.” From the looks of it, it seemed like he wanted to ask or say something about their situation. As she waited for him to say something, the young lady chewed on her lower lip which was a nervous habit she had when she couldn’t chew on her nails. “How far into the future are you from?” He wanted to know more about her? Was he truly that kind and patient? How had she gotten so lucky? The Commander was truly too good to be true.
“I came from the year 2016 and there are no dragon years.” Since it was quiet in the room Sirena was able to hear Cullen intake a breath of air sharply.
“Is it safe to assume that you know what happens and knew what was going to occur?”
“Yes, I knew what was going to happen and what will occur. I also knew what had happened to you as well.” The American woman confessed which made her feel ashamed again, and not only that, but awkward as well.
“That doesn’t surprise me after your confession. Now I know you’re not related to the Inquisitor at all.” As her eyes remained on him, she noticed that he was slowly accepting the new facts about her, but still faster than she had anticipated.
“You’re taking this news rather easily Cullen, more than I thought you would.” Her eyes followed his movements as he stood up and approached her.
“This may sound odd, but I did have a feeling you were not from here. Some of the things you’ve said in the past made no sense. Your speech pattern is also different from the rest of us.” What he said had baffled her for she thought she hid her modern mannerisms fairly well. “Even after having an inkling of, you not being normal to our standards, I wanted to protect you even then.” The outlander was holding herself back from jumping on the man even though she so badly wanted to give her affection. How could she not after all that he had said to her? He had accepted her!
“That’s truly sweet of you. And you kept it to yourself?” His hands gripped her upper arms gently which showed her that he was truly okay.
“I never told anyone to keep you safe. I won’t tell anyone about this either.” Finally, unable to control herself any further, she jumped on Cullen and wrapped her legs around his waist. It was clear her movement had caught him off guard when she felt him get rigid. Once she realized his reaction, the outlander tried to slip down off him, but felt his hands finally move keeping her legs around him. While her face turned red, her blue-green gaze met his golden-brown orbs. “You’re the only one I know who is this bold.”
“I’m sorry. Normally I wouldn’t do this, what you said made me feel really happy and safe.” As she stared into his eyes, in her peripheral, she noticed his smile. It felt good to her when she was finally one hundred percent honest with her man. There were no more secrets between the two. With widened eyes, Sirena realized she had forgotten her friend, Chiara.
“You should bring your friend inside before she starts to worry.” With a nod of her head, he had set her back down even though the young woman was quite content where she was. Once her feet were back on the ground, the blonde made her way to the door and opened it to reveal her friend on the other side who was still waiting.
“I’m sorry for the wait, it’s warmer inside.”
“It’s okay, it was a big discussion to have.” It certainly was a big and important talk but all she did was nod her head in agreement.
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Dawn of Beginning