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Accidental Infatuation	By : crymsonpassion Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10501 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Accidental Infatuation

Chapter Thirty- Four

"Sora?" the sound of my name being called snaps me back to reality. I had fallen into a trance of thought, staring at the spot where Sephiroth had been only moments ago. I look up to see my brother walking over to where I am sitting. Surprisingly however, Axel is not following him. I would have thought that the redhead would be right beside my twin. In a way, I'm kind of glad that Roxy is alone. I think I need a few minutes with him alone.
I look over at him and take in a breath that I know is shaky. I'm not ready for all of this. I really don't know how to handle this, no matter what I have been telling everyone, especially with this new encounter with Sephiroth hanging over me. Whether my brother can sense this through our bond, or I just look that way, the next thing I know is that Roxy's arms are wrapped tightly around me once again. That's all it takes for the tears to assault me once again and I lose control like never before. I can't control the sobs and tears that take a hold of me. As I let out my emotions, the entire time my brother stays right there, holding me tightly and grounding me.
I don't know how long we stay there like that; the only thing that I can focus on is my brother whispering words of support in my ear. I cling to him in desperation. I don't know how long I have lose myself like that, but eventually it all stops. I am able to regulate my breathing and the sobs and tears just stop. I take in a few little breaths and after a few minutes, the breaths are becoming deeper and fuller. It serves to calm me down even further and I find myself returning to reality. I feel my twin's presence all around me and I try and focus only on him, and it helps to ground me even more.
"Done?" he whispers, continuing to rub my back.
I nod, reaching up and wiping away the remnants of my tears off my cheeks. "Yeah, thanks Roxy."
My brother just offers me a small smile. "It's why I'm here. I thought that you'd need me, so I sent Axel down with everyone else," he tells me. I'm so glad that he knows me so well that we don't need to communicate with words. "Let's get you laying down." I'm not really surprised that he picks up my thoughts from earlier that I want to try laying down in an attempt to take my mind off of things. It takes us a few minutes longer than normal, mostly due to my state of mind to get me up on the couch. Before I am able to fully lay down however, my brother sits down where I had been planning on putting my head. When I look up at him with a slight look of confusion, I only receive a smile once again before he pats his lap. Now I know what he is doing. I then lay down with my head resting on his thighs. We both must be feeling the same way, that the physical contact will be a necessity for the two of us to get me through this.
"Thanks for everything, Roxy," I whisper, still a little shaky.
"No probe, Sor. I know that you would do exactly the same thing for me." After the words leave his lips, a comfortable silence falls over us, leaving us laying there together. My thoughts begin to run rampant and I try to keep myself calm. Riku is scheduled to be in surgery for at least three hours, but they have warned me that it could take up to six. The doctors don't want things to go wrong, especially with such a delicate operation, so they don't want to rush things at all. But I am trying to remain positive. I know that Riku will make it out of the surgery fine. I just have to keep telling myself that. But thinking about it still makes me question our future together.
I'm finally finding the strength to think about the future, because I have to come to terms with the fact that it is coming up sooner than I ever would have dreamed. The other day, despite the fact that we were trying to prepare ourselves for this surgery, Xigbar had insisted I continue with my therapy. Surprisingly enough, the thought of today had made me try harder than ever and I managed to take two steps this time, much to Xigbar, Roxy's and my own surprise. We had all thought that my concentration would have been gone. I guess that I needed something else to focus on, if only for an hour long session. However, it only served to drive home the fact that I am definitely improving and sooner or later, I will be fully recovered and able to return to Destiny Islands with my brother.
When I learned that Axel had already been making plans to leave the clinic to be with Roxy, I have to admit that I was jealous. No one at the clinic thinks that Axel will be putting himself or his health at risk anymore, but everyone is worried about how he will cope with his attacks outside the clinic. I admire him for standing up for himself like that and moving on past his life at the clinic. Axel has been cooped up at the clinic for over a year now and since meeting my brother he realizes that he is missing out on his life, so he has decided to take it back into his own hands. I really wish that Riku and I were able to make plans like that. But until he turns eighteen in a couple months, he still is technically under Sephiroth's care and will need to stay with him. Luckily, if I continue to recover at the pace that I am right now, I should only have to wait for two months after I'm released, but even that will seem like forever. And I don't know if Riku would want to move down to the islands with me or if he will want to stay here at the clinic. I know that his goal is to become a counsellor at the clinic, and possibly follow the same path as his brother and become a physiotherapist. There, he'd pretty much be guaranteed a job. Or do I want to consider not going to university back home and enroll up here? There are so many possibilities and choices that I know I shouldn't even be thinking about until Riku can give his opinion as well. All I know is that I want to stay with him no matter what I have to do to make it happen.
"Sora?" my brother's voice whispers softly, breaking me out of my trance-like thoughts. I have no idea how long I have been spaced out like that, but all I can be sure of is that I am staving off the panic attacks that I know are dwelling right below the surface. Thank heavens. And if spacing out like I have been helps keep them within me, I will be happy to continue doing it.
"Yeah?" I respond, trying to stifle a yawn. I have to admit, I am a little tired. After all, it's not like I have slept much over the past week. Something about my brother's presence is soothing me and my nerves enough that despite the fear and worry that is threatening to overwhelm me, he might be enough to allow me a few hours of rest.
"What did Sephiroth want to talk to you about?" I can feel the curiosity he has and it brings me back to the thought of my most recent, and certainly the oddest, encounter that I have had with my boyfriend's brother.
"I'm not exactly sure," I confess, "We sort of just stared at one another, and then he asked if I truly love Riku."
Roxy scrunches his face in an odd way that conveys his confusion to me. Obviously I'm not the only one who is stumped by the purpose of the encounter. "That's it?"
"I know. Weird, right?" I say with a slight laugh that sounds and feels fake, even to me.
"Really weird. I thought he was going to go all overprotective brother or something. Is that really all he said?"
"Yup, that's all he said. Promise."
"Shit, your boyfriend's brother is weird, Sor."
"And Reno's not?" I laugh, but we can both tell that it is still forced.
Joking like this with my brother is definitely helping to ease my tension, even if just a little. I honestly believe that in some weird way, Roxy is syphoning off my anxiety at least a little, helping to keep me from falling into a panic attack. I definitely still feel the apprehension and distress hovering there below the surface, but there is the oddest feeling of something containing it and holding it from cracking through my defenses. I know that Roxy is the source of that barrier. I can only hope that we can both hold it together for the duration of Riku's surgery.
The next couple of hours pass with very little being said by either of us, pretty much the only time we do talk is when one of our friends comes up from wherever they are hanging out and offer us something to drink or eat. Though Roxy accepts a few of the offered items, I don't. Even if my nerves seem to be in check, at least for now, I can't guarantee that it will last, especially if there is something sitting in my stomach. It would just serve as something that I would be able to throw up.
Dr. Vexen has shown up a couple of times, mostly to update me on the progress of the surgery. The fact that I am able to hear a little anxiety even in his voice doesn't help in my battle to keep calm. Every time we see him making his way over towards us, I feel everything inside me tense up and I automatically think the worse. So far that worse hasn't come to pass, and I can't help but pray to every deity that may be listening that the worse never happens and it stays that way.
What surprises me in a way is that we don't see Sephiroth at all during the surgery, though Luxord does pass through the waiting room a handful of times, getting things like coffee or bottles of water or other little things, never once acknowledging my brother or myself, nor our friends when they all come back. I suppose that the neurologist has his hands full, trying to keep Sephiroth under control. I sure wouldn't want that job.
With Roxy rubbing my head in a soothing motion, I fight off the sleep that is attempting to take hold of me despite my tiredness. I don't want to sleep, still harbouring a fear that if I do fall asleep, I will end up back in that suppressing blackness that trapped me during Roxy's surgery all those months ago. I know that it shattered because of Riku last time, but I don't know if he would be able to save me again if I were to end up there once more. I also don't want to go to sleep in case something happens to my boyfriend or anything like that. So instead, with Roxy's assistance, I roll over onto my side, giving me the opportunity to stare blankly at the door to Riku's prep room, my eyes and mind losing focus for who knows how long.
"Sora?" this time the voice that breaks me out of my trance is not my brother's. My eyes focus once again and I am met with the sight of Demyx kneeling down in front of me.
Blinking a couple of times, I try and force myself to focus on his face which is displaying a small, yet tired smile. "Dem? What's up?" I ask, rubbing my eyes. I hear a soft snore above me and realize that while sitting here, my brother has fallen asleep on me. Probably explains why I have been able to be so zoned out. My body is resting through him while my mind has been racing. Looking around, I see Kairi and Naminé over in one corner with Lexaeus and Zexion, having hushed conversation. Axel is in a chair next to the couch that I'm laying on, his head resting on Roxy's shoulder and their hands entwined, both of them fast asleep and dead to the world. Briefly I look up at the clock that hands on the wall and notice that it has been almost five hours since I last saw Riku. How long have I been zoned out?
"Dad just came out and told me that they are just finishing up. He's going to be moved into recovery really soon. Then you will be able to go see him," Demyx tells me. "Dad would have told you himself but didn't want to disturb you."
I just nod, sitting up and breaking the physical contact between me and my brother for the first time in hours. All of a sudden I can feel the panic washing over me. Shit, has he really been calming me down that much? "Did your dad mention how everything went?" I ask, knowing that there is an obvious shake to my voice. Suddenly the worry begins to subside as I feel a hand placed on my shoulder. As much as I'm sure that he needs the sleep, I'm actually glad that Roxy is awake now. If he was helping me that much, to keep me from falling into a panic attack, I doubt that he will be too upset with us interrupting his nap because of this.
Demyx just offers me a small smile. "According to Dad, everything went exactly as planned. He's going to be in recovery for about four hours before he will be moved back to his room."
"Really?" I can't believe the relief that is washing over me at those few words. I feel my brother squeezing my shoulder, the happiness exploding inside.
Letting out a small chuckle, Demyx then places a hand on my knee. "Dad was even able to talk the other doctors into letting you go into the recovery room to sit with him until he wakes up too. Normally they don't allow it unless you are immediate family or married, but he used a little persuasion, saying that you would need it for your health too. He just had to remind them about what happened the last time you had a loved one in for surgery and they didn't listen to him," he rambles on and honestly, I don't hear much of it. My mind is just bursting with happiness, knowing that Riku is going to be okay.
For the first time in what seems like an eternity, probably since we first found out that this surgery was going to be necessary, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. He's made it through. He's going to be alright. They had explained to me that it would take a couple of days before they'd be able to check to see if they got all the clots and aneurisms clamped, but he's made it out of the surgery at least. I know that he isn't completely out of the woods yet, and that there are still some things that could go wrong, but this is definitely a step forward. When the tears begin to trickle down my cheeks, for the first time in what seems like forever, it's not from sadness. I'm so happy that I'm crying. Roxy then wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly from behind.
"Hear that, Sor? He's made it through alright." I can hear the relief in my twin's words as well as we both let out light chuckles, and I reach up and wipe away the tears that continue down my cheeks. I'm not sure if they can all sense it or something, but none of our friends come over to me at the moment, though I'm sure that Demyx already told them the news, or they have over heard us talking from where they are. I need a little time to absorb everything that is going on around me.
After giving me one last encouraging smile, Demyx moves back over to rejoin Zexion, Kai, Nami and Lexaeus. I almost guess that Axel would excuse himself too, but it surprises me that he doesn't leave me alone with my brother. Instead he stands up and stretches like a cat. I guess that sleeping in the chair like he had been wasn't very comfortable. Not that I would have given up my spot at all. Before I know what is happening, my brother's boyfriend scoops me up into his arms bridal style. I barely have enough time to gasp and grab onto his neck before he places me into my wheelchair that is parked at the other end of the couch.
"You ready to go down and wait for him?" the redhead asks me with a smirk. It takes me a moment to realize why he's acting so devious, but I realize that it's probably because we have been at the hospital for nearly eight hours now if you include the ride over here and not once has he had any time to steal my brother away for some sort of quickie anywhere.
Rolling my eyes, I can only laugh, surprised that the relief is still hanging over me like a warm and comfortable blanket. I don't think that I have ever been this relieved in my life, except maybe when Roxy first came out of his coma right after our accident. But at that point, and even after my twin's shoulder surgery a few months ago, I was drugged. Still, the feel of the tension lifting is the same and the sensations are intoxicating.
After making sure that I am secure in my chair, my brother comes to stand behind me, grabbing a handle in each hand. I'm actually surprised that his arm is still out of its sling, but I know that just means that it's getting stronger every day and that thought only helps to increase my happiness. As Roxy begins to push me out of the waiting room, Kairi and Naminé both look over at me in unison and give me wide smiles. I wave back at them with a smile of my own. I am so glad that they are here. It makes me sad that they going to be actually released from the clinic when Riku is in the clear, but at the same time, I know that it definitely is for the best. They are ready to go home. I get nods from both Zexion and Lexaeus and even though I don't know either of them as well as I would like, it does make me feel good. To think that there were this many people worried for Riku and I is really heart-warming.
By the time that we make it to the recovery room, I am told that my boyfriend is already there, making me feel even happier. I'm forced to wait out in the hall as they continue to see to his comforts, but I really don't mind waiting for that at all. It all means that I will be in there with him soon. And he's okay. I'm still overwhelmed by that fact. Axel whispers something in my twin's ear that makes even me blush before walking away, leaving Roxy and I alone in the hall again for another moment.
"We're going to be okay," Roxy whispers, placing his chin on my shoulder. I can still hear the relief in his voice, like he had been afraid something would happen to me. But nothing did, and Riku is in recovery.
"Yeah, it seems that way, doesn't it?" I laugh, and this time, the sound is genuine and not at all forced and man, does it feel good.
"Are you going to be alright in there by yourself if Sephiroth is going to be in there too?" he asks, squeezing my shoulder tightly.
That thought has crossed my mind a couple of times, but after that little encounter earlier, I can't help but think that something between us may have changed. I don't know what exactly, but I know it has to be a good thing. "You know, I think I will be actually," I reply with a small smile.
My twin doesn't get the chance to say anything else before the door to the recovery room opens, Dr. Vexen, Sephiroth and Luxord all standing there talking, and even from here I can see the relief etched onto all their faces. I'm obviously not the only one glad that the surgery is over. Demyx's father is the first to notice me, breaking their conversation.
"Ahh, Sora. I had a feeling that you might have already been waiting here. Demyx does seem to be able to spread news fairly quickly. There are just a few things I want to let you know," Dr. Vexen says as Luxord leaves without acknowledging me in the least, not that I expected him too. Sephiroth just goes back into the recovery room, closing the door behind him. "The anesthesia should be wearing off in the next few hours, but he will continue to be groggy for the next little while due to the morphine drip. He's going to be in some pain, but with the amount of pain killers he is on right now; it shouldn't be too bad for him. So he may not be the most responsive yet, but give it a little time."
I like waiting for Dr. Vexen to finish talking about as much as I like listening to his son ramble. All I care about right now is going in and seeing with my own eyes that my boyfriend is alright. I nod my understanding, anxious to go in and be with Riku. Eventually the doctor steps out of the way, opening the door for me. I resist everything that is telling me to race in there as fast as I can, and instead look back and tell my brother that I will be fine before slowly wheeling myself into the recovery room. I see Sephiroth sitting in a chair off to one side, next to what I assume is Riku's bed. There are several other beds in this room, each with people around them, doctors milling around and going from bed to bed. Slowly I wheel myself over to the bed that Sephiroth is next to, apprehension all dissipating when I see Riku laying on the bed.
He seems to be paler than ever, a fact not helped by the stark white sheets and the bandages that are wrapped around his head the same colour as well. There is an IV going to his left hand and I am silently grateful that that is the side that Sephiroth is sitting on. I wonder if he did that on purpose? But despite all the various emotions and fears that are running through my head at breakneck speed, the thing that is the most reassuring is the sight of Riku's chest gently rising and falling. He's alive and he's recovering. Tears begin to fall once again and I reach up and take a hold of my boyfriend's hand, holding it close, but not too tight just in case. It feels cold to the touch, but that doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that he and I are here together.
I make no attempts to engage Sephiroth in conversation and he does the same, not that I expected any different. Especially with our track record with conversations. We sit there in silence for who knows how long, the sounds that come from the other patients and people in the room keeping us from absolute quiet. But over everything, the sounds of my boyfriend's breaths are heard, serving as reassurance that he is alive and has pulled through. I don't know how long after I got there that I finally feel a slight pressure on my hand. I could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. It almost makes me jump out of my skin, but I finally realize that it is Riku waking up. I whisper words of encouragement and love to him, unsure if he can even hear me, but just saying them makes me feel like I am helping him in a way. Not to mention that Riku seems to be responding to the sound of my voice. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sephiroth still just sitting back, watching me, but for the first time, the look on his face is one of encouragement and I don't find it frightening in the least bit.
A few airy noises begin to sound from my boyfriend's lips, and I can't tell if he is trying to say something or just whimper. His brother seems to have been prepared for this and picks up a cup of ice chips from the bedside table, scooping out a few with a small spoon and presses them against Riku's lips. His mouth opens and he takes them in, and it seems to help. The noises stop and he lets out a small sigh. Nothing else sounds from him for several moments and I have to wonder if he has fallen back asleep. Not that I would blame him if that is the case. Twice more this happens, each time Sephiroth giving him a few more ice chips to help settle him down. Anxiety begins to creep up on me once again as I wonder why he hasn't woken up completely yet before I chide myself. He has just had brain surgery. He will wake up when he is able too, soon enough.
After a forth scoop of ice chips, something seems to be slightly different. The pressure on my hand continues to increase. My whispers continue, trying to give him something to focus on.
"Sora…" I finally hear my name within his whimpers and sighs and all I can feel is overwhelming relief, happiness and love for the man laying on the bed next to me.
"I'm right here, Ku," I answer, my own words shaky with emotion.
"Love you," those words push me over the edge, tears appearing in my eyes once again. I'm hoping that soon enough I will be all cried out for today.
"Love you too," I reply, uncaring that Sephiroth is sitting right there. After all, this should just be reaffirmation that what I told him earlier was completely true.
Riku falls in and out of consciousness for quite some time, the powerful drugs he is on keeping him sedated for the most part. He needs his rest though for his recovery and I know that. He really is going to be okay.
Finally, about three hours after he woke up for the first time, my boyfriend is able to remain conscious for more than a few seconds at a time and each time he wakes up, he is able to stay awake longer. The doctors came over and after doing another check up on him, told us that he is progressing normally and as soon as he is able to stay awake for ten minutes straight that they will be able to move him back to his own room. Right now he is at about five minutes and counting. His words are still a little slurred and he has yet to open his eyes, but that's alright. He has yet to let go of my hand either, not that I have a problem with that, even after he found out that Sephiroth was in here with us. He told me this morning before coming here that he was finally going to stop not showing affection towards me just to spare Sephiroth. I have to admit, I am very proud of him for that.
"Riku?" his brother questions in that soft voice of his, sending weird chills up and down my spine and I don't know why.
"Hmm?" hums my boyfriend, giving my hand a squeeze as if to prove that he is still awake enough to listen to whatever Sephiroth is saying.
"In four months, I will be leaving the clinic."
I gasp at the news, worried about what might happen to my boyfriend. Where will he be going? Will I still be able to see him? Crap. What is going through Sephiroth's mind to tell Riku this just after having surgery?
My boyfriend's face contorts into a look of closed-eyed confusion as he tries to process this information and respond to it. "Why?"
Sephiroth sighs and I can tell it's because he is slightly nervous. For some reason, that almost humanizes him to me. Not saying that I like the guy yet or anything, but we are getting closer to that point. "Luxord has decided to open his own clinic and I will be joining him there as head physiotherapist. During my suspension we went and scouted out the location."
I feel Riku squeeze my hand and I can tell that he's thinking the same things as I am. Us separating upon my release is going to be hard enough. Now we have to contend with him moving god knows where. This is not making me feel any better as I try to hold in a fresh batch of tears.
"Where?" Riku questions sternly, his voice becoming stronger with each word he speaks. I can feel the apprehension in his hand as well. What have we done to deserve this from the gods?
"It will be a much smaller clinic that we hope to eventually expand. Luxord has been there quite often lately getting it prepared. We hope that the tropical climate is able to help the patients. After all, even though Serenity Island is the smallest in the Destiny Islands chain, it seemed to be the ideal place for a new clinic." Before either Riku or I have the chance to process the information, Sephiroth stands up and stalks towards the door, leaving without another word.
For several long moments, neither of us says nor do anything before it hits us exactly what Sephiroth has just told us.
"Did he just say that you're moving to my island?" I whisper, unsure if I have the will to believe it only for it to be a lie.
"I think so," his voice is still weak, but is definitely stronger than before and I can see a small smile, his first since the surgery, playing on the corner of his lips.
"I can't believe it. We'll be able to stay together, no long distance," I say, a light laugh to my words as I try to grasp the concept that Riku and I will be living close to one another in four months. It's almost unbelievable.
Riku lets out a few airy chuckles before he falls back asleep with a serene smile on his face. I continue to rub the back of his hand, taking in all this information. I don't think I could ever be happier. All of our worries have been solved by Sephiroth of all people. It's almost too good to be true.
After a half hour or so, consciousness seems to be returning to my boyfriend once more. But there is something slightly different about it this time. Carefully I lift myself up onto his bed so that I am laying alongside him. I place a soft kiss on his nose, which earns a small smile from him, his eyelids fluttering a little. I hope that I am able to pass my support on to him and I can easily feel his happiness as strongly as my own. But the sight of his eyelids fluttering is a good sign. He hasn't opened his eyes yet, and I'm getting anxious to see those beautiful aquamarine eyes. It's the last thing I need see to prove that he is definitely going to be okay.
I don't know if the drugs are starting to wear off or what, but there is a crease between his eyebrows that makes me think that he's in pain. Should it be this difficult for him to open his eyes? I place a few more light kisses along his cheeks, nose and lips, trying to entice him into opening his eyes. I need to see them, even if I know they can't see me back.
Finally they open and I can't help but smile at him. I don't think I have ever been as happy in my life as I am right now.
"Shit," he gasps airily, his eyes slamming closed instantaneously.
"What's wrong?" I ask my words full of concern.
"I think there might be a slight complication." With every passing moment, his words are less slurred and I can easily see his eyes moving rapidly under his eyelids.
I feel the panic creeping up on me again despite my previous euphoria. "What do you mean?"
He lifts his hand, placing it against my cheeks as his eyes open once again, this time remaining open for a few more seconds, squinting slightly. "Have I ever told you that you have the most amazing eyes?"
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Accidental Infatuation