Vhenan'ara | By : Arcanis_Born Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 6576 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from this. |
Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
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Translations:
Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty". A term of endearment Zevran has for Riel.
Atrast tunsha: Dwarven. A formal farewell.
Salroka: Dwarven. "Friend."
Na Kallak, Amgarrak. Na Partha, Sha'latak. Na Tavash, Amgeforn: Dwarven. "In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice." The Grey Warden motto spoken in the dwarven language.
Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
She had been out cold for a full day. At first she slept soundly, although it did cause worry when she would not rouse when Zevran had tried a few times to see if she would eat or drink for him. Still, she breathed and she held no fever, so Wynne had advised just letting the woman get as much sleep at she could.
Through the tunnels Zevran had carried her, refusing when others offered to take Riel for a while so he may rest. As kind as their offers were, she was his to care for. At least until she awoke and sent him away herself. Until then, he cared for as he should. As his heart and soul demanded that he do.
The only time Riel left his reach was when he placed her down long enough to set up a tent for her to rest in. And while she rested upon her bedrolls, Zevran sat close by, dagger in hand as he watched her sleep. Measuring each of her breaths, making sure that her heart continued to beat. And for that first night, she slept peacefully under his watch.
The next day Zevran had begrudgingly ate the food that Leliana brought for him, not finding any arguments against her reasoning that he needed to keep up his strength to protect her. However, he drew the line at allowing the woman a turn watching over Riel while he got his own rest.
And during all that time, Riel did not move. Not even the normal movements a sleeping person would usually make, such as rolling over or slight movements of their limbs as they slept. Riel did none of that. If it wasn't for the way he so carefully watched her breathing, Zevran would have assumed she no longer lived. A thought that by itself kept him awake and alert despite how little had slept since entering the Deep Roads.
It was during the second camp that Riel finally stirred. At first it was a flicker of her closed eyelids. Then a sad moan came past her lips. Zevran was immediately kneeling by her, his eyes filled with concern yet unsure of what to do.
"Please forgive me!" she suddenly cried out, tears leaking from her closed eyes.
"Shh, mi bella. There is nothing to forgive…" he whispered softly to her.
Riel turned and curled into a ball on her side, her cries coming heavier until she sobbed against herself. At a loss for what to do, Zevran placed a hand on her shoulder, unsure if she would send him away again. However he couldn't leave her like this. Not while she cried out as if in pain.
"Zevran…." she whispered out in a deep cry.
Please do not send me away he prayed. "I am here, Riel."
With her eyes closed tightly, Riel blindly reached up for him. Zevran set aside his dagger and let himself be pulled down beside her. As soon as his body was next to hers, Riel snuggled tightly against him, her face flat against his chest. Even with his leathers still on, Zevran almost wept at how good it felt to have her next to him like this.
"Please don't leave me," she whispered against his chest.
"I am here for as long as you will have me, mi bella."
"I am so tired…."
"Then you should rest. I will be here to watch over you."
Riel shook her head against his chest, causing Zevran's heart to restrict in his chest. However instead of telling him to go, Riel just held onto him tighter. "Rest with me," she said softly. Zevran was about to argue when her sweet voice cut him off again. "Please. I need to feel you resting against me."
Zevran was left speechless. How could he deny her? How could he rest when there was so much danger still around?
"Please…" she begged him again.
Zevran reached quickly for his dagger before wrapping his arms tightly around her. For her, he would do anything. However, he couldn't allow himself even the illusion of rest without a dagger in hand. Not when he needed to protect her.
"No… no weapons. No armor. Just you. Just me," she argued softly against him.
"Mi bella, we are still…-"
"I know where we still are. Which why I need this. I need to feel you against me. I need to know that even with everything…. that we are still us. Please….."
Zevran sighed before raising himself from the bedroll and quickly removing his armor before much more carefully removing hers. He then returned to her side and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He had not expected to rest when he had set up the tent earlier, so there was only one bedroll under them, yet with how closely Riel burrowed herself against it, it didn't seem to matter. Thanking the gods that she didn't ask for him to undress completely, Zevran closed his eyes and tried to find some rest.
Even with his under clothes still on however, his body reacted to her closeness. To the feel of her so close against him. To her scent as he breathed her in deeply with each inhale. Zevran mentally cursed at how good she felt with her leg over his own and her arms clinging tightly to his back. And when one of her hands slipped under his shirt and ran up the muscles next to his spine, he couldn't contain the moan of pleasure that escaped his lips despite how badly he didn't want to come off as lecherous to her.
Whatever her motivations, Zevran couldn't put any faith in the idea that this closeness was anything other than her need to be comforted after coming so close to dying. That he was more convenient than actually needed echoed like nasty voice in his head as he held her against him. In truth, he would provide whatever she needed, for the small amount of time that she needed it from him. Yet hoping for anything other than that….
His thoughts were cut off by the feel of Riel's lips on his neck. Light kisses along his throat and crossing to the other side. Zevran squeezed his eyes shut, completely lost as how to respond. Even when Riel's hand slid from his back over his ribs to his chest, Zevran forced himself to remain unmoving. Still her kisses tormented him, leading up his jaw to his ear, where her tongue glided along the sensitive flesh there.
Unable to take any more, Zevran gently pushed Riel back and looked into her eyes. Searching for anything in them that could tell him what to do or what this meant to her. What she expected it to mean to him.
"Mi bella…." he whispered.
"Zevran…. Don't you want me?" she asked him, her eyes flickering in hurt.
"I want you to want me. However, I must know if this is purely about feeling better while trapped in this cursed place. Or if it is something more." Seeing her confused look, Zevran cupped her cheek and gently caressed her face. "Know that either way I will gladly do what you need of me, however I must know. Do you come to me seeking simple pleasure, or perhaps…. love?"
"I need you Zevran. Not just your body. Not just the pleasure you give to me. I need you."
Zevran pulled Riel against him, placing a scorching kiss on her lips. His heart doing backflips in his chest, too many emotions crashing inside for him to know where one ended and another began. The greatest of them all was love. Sweet, glorious love filling him as he kissed her passionately with his whole being. Gratefulness was a close second. Amazement. Disbelief. These and more crushing together in his chest as he kissed her.
Riel ran her hands under his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin against the hardness of the muscles underneath. "The shirt… lose it," she muttered against his lips. Zevran was only too happy to comply, sitting up slightly to pull the fabric over his head. Immediately Riel placed her lips against his bicep, kissing and licking along the swirl of a tattoo. Her teeth leaving light bites on his flesh.
"Your turn…" he breathed heavily before lifting Riel up and nearly tearing the tunic from her. His hands going to her breastband and undoing the leather ties, freeing her breasts for him. Cupping her breast in his palm, Zevran ran his thumb over her raised nipple, taking special delight in the soft moan she uttered as he massaged the plump flesh.
Riel felt as if she couldn't touch enough of him. Taste enough of him. Be close enough to him. Her hands running along his chest, then back up where her fingers caressed his neck and jaw. Her lips found his shoulder and she placed soft bites there before running her tongue along his collarbone and up to his neck. Her nails dug into his flesh along his back before moving up and lacing her fingers into his hair before pulling him against her lips for another kiss.
She heard a slight rip and giggled softly against his lips as she realized he just ripped her small clothes in his haste. "Sorry," he whispered against her lips before kissing her again.
"Buy me new ones then," Riel giggled.
"I would actually prefer you didn't wear any," he laughed seductively in response. "They tend to get in the way…"
Riel moaned loudly as she felt two of his finger delve deep inside of her. Closing her eyes, she arched her back as she felt him work her core. Zevran took advantage of the opportunity and latched his mouth on to her breast, running his tongue over her taut nipple. Riel held his head her, loving the way he knew just how to touch her. His skillful touches and licks bringing her closer to the edge before backing off, extending her wonderful torment.
"Zevran….!" she mewled, her voice heavy with need.
"I am here, mi bella…. I am right here for you…. always…" he answered back to hoarsely.
Riel came apart then, pleasure overtaking her body as she cried out his name. Zevran rode out her climax before quickly removing the rest of his clothes then retaking his previous spot lying next to her. Cupping her cheek, he gazed into her eyes marveling at the emotion he saw there. Yet still his doubts clung at him.
"Tell me you want me," he pleaded with her.
"I don't just want you, Zevran… I need you. And what I need most is right here," she stated before placing her hand on his chest over his heart.
Zevran smiled broadly before kissing her deeply, his hands skimming lightly over her body. When they reached her leg, he lifted it and hooked it behind his hip, bring his shaft right up next to her core. "Then please, accept me…"
Riel took hold of his face and held his gaze with her own. "I do, Zevran. All of you. Always." Riel then shifted her hips and took him all the way within her. "By the Creators, Zevran…!" she moaned deeply.
Zevran lowered his head to her shoulder as he moved in powerful strokes within her. He didn't want to rush with her. However the need in him was fueled by his previous worry over losing her. By long days spent without her next to him. By every longing that her felt when he looked at her but no longer left worthy enough to even speak with her, let alone touch her. Gripping her thigh in his hand, Zevran couldn't withhold his desire.
"Riel! I… can't…. By the gods!" he exclaimed in a deep roar as he exploded within her. Breathing heavily, Zevran moved a few more times before he pulled Riel tightly against him. "Forgive me!" his muffled voice pleaded against her neck. "Please, forgive me!" he nearly sobbed. Confused , Riel held onto him tightly, running her fingers along his back.
"Shhh…. Why do you need to be forgiven?" Riel crooned to him softly.
Zevran's hand left her thigh and travelled up her body, coming to rest at the pink line that cut across the space between her ribs. Absently he ran his fingers along the mark, remembering the feel of her warm blood on his hands. Remembering how cold she felt as he held onto her hand while Wynne healed her. Remembering how lifeless and pale she was even after Wynne had used her magics.
"I couldn't protect you," he finally whispered.
"It was my own fault for not anticipating her having another blade."
"Not just with her," he softly replied. "In your nightmares. When my foolishness kept you from waking up. Against what the Archdemon did to you there. Then against the Broodmother. When it knocked you back before Oghren killed it. Against the traps Branka forced us through. Against the apparitions that attacks us. So many times…. I failed you…"
"What we do… What I do…. It is dangerous. You know this Zevran. And I doubt that it will get any easier."
"Is that why you sent me away?"
Riel lifted his face up to meet hers. "I have never sent you away, Zevran."
"The night you spoke to Leliana about what happens to Wardens… after a few years…." Zevran paused, pain lancing his chest at the memory. "I came back to the tent that night, yet you sent me away. I had already broken so much of your trust already, I didn't want to push you, so I left you be."
"I waited for you to come back, but you never did! I fell asleep waiting for you! And when I awoke again, you refused to even meet me in the eye!"
"I no longer felt worthy to…"
Silence filled the space between as each of them put the past few days in proper context considering their combined misunderstanding. "I have never rejected you, Zevran," Riel whispered to him. "I thought you stopped loving me because I couldn't give you what you wanted…"
"You are all I want, Riel. Whichever way you may allow me to."
"I cannot give you a future, Zevran," Riel replied, tears in her eyes.
"And yet I have no future without you."
"I'm serious Zevran!" she cried, tears falling down her cheeks. "Maybe if this wasn't a Blight… Alistair said that Grey Wardens normally live for thirty years after the joining. But during a Blight…."
"Shh, mi bella…" Zevran whispered softly to her, wiping her tears away with his fingers. "We will find a way, Riel."
"How do you know?"
"Because I refuse to accept any other option."
Riel couldn't help but laugh softly at his answer. "You know, that's what I told myself when we went after the spider queen. That it didn't matter how many spiders there were or how dangerous it was. To me, there just wasn't any other option than getting those eggs for both you and Leliana."
"And that is how I know that we will succeed in this, as well."
"Zevran, as bad as going after that queen was, no one has ever stopped the Calling when it came."
"Neither had any of them been me," Zevran stated firmly. "I will not let them have you, mi bella. I will see you free from this."
Riel's eyes again began to cloud as she saw the deep conviction in his eyes. Inside, she doubted such a thing were possible. Some things just couldn't be changed. However, she didn't want to argue with him. Not after finally being with him after so long of being separate. Instead, she cuddled up close to him, placing her head against his chest.
However she couldn't keep the images from her mind. The nightmares of what happens to those captured by the Darkspawn. Memories of Layrn were especially strong. Her fear. Her despair. Her anger. Will that happen to me too?
"I promise you, mi bella," Zevran crooned to her, almost as if he could read her thoughts. "They will not have you. No matter what I must to do to save you."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Four days later, Riel stood in front of the dwarven Assembly, her heart lodged in her stomach. With the Warden's return to Orzammar, the deshyrs had called an emergency session, all eager to hear of the news that Riel had brought them. None more so than Pyral Harrowmont and Bhelen Aeducan, each contenders for the kingship of all Orzammar.
The Paragon Caridin had not wanted to know the names of those who sought the crown that he made. And he had gone to his death only minutes after crafting it, leaving Riel with the sole decision as to which dwarf would become king of his people. And up until that moment, Riel had been as confident as she could be that Bhelen would make the better king.
That was, until the newly crowned King Bhelen called for the immediate execution of Harrowmont as well as his lieutenant, Dulin Forender.
Riel had tried calling out, demanding Bhelen stop, yet her cries went unanswered as Harrowmont and Dulin were both swiftly arrested and sent to await their execution in Orzammar's dungeon. Watching them being led away, Riel felt as if she had killed them both with her own hands. While she didn't know Harrowmont well, neither man had seemed to be bad, and certainly not worthy of death. Riel had just thought Bhelen's more progressive attitude was probably a better choice than Harrowmont's more conservative values. And now two decent men were going to die because of her decision.
Riel suddenly felt as if she were going to be sick.
"Come, mi bella…. Let us leave the dwarves to their ways. There is nothing you can do," Zevran whispered to her softly, placing a comforting hand on the base of her spine.
Riel looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. The two of them were still not fully back to where they had been. Back before the dwarves and Deep Roads. When it had just been the two of them lost in the wilderness, enjoying each other freely as two young lovers should. A tension still existed between them, born out of Riel's tainted future, and Zevran's blind determination to save her from it.
They were back to sharing a tent, yet their conversations were short, Riel often too tired to argue and Zevran simply not wishing to upset her more. And while they did still lightly kiss and hold each other, they had not shared of themselves since Riel had first awoken from her injuries from their fight against Branka. Most nights as they laid down together to rest, Riel was even too tired to stay awake long enough to remove her armor.
While Morrigan's drink helped with the voices and eased Riel's rest a bit, they did not remove the nightmares entirely. The headaches and deep bodily pain still persisted as well. And so when the group finally spotted the thick metal doors that protected Orzammar from the Darkspawn and other creatures, Riel was beside herself with relief. Thinking that perhaps finally, her intensified nightmares and struggles in this horrible place were finally over. However, for as much as she had been through over these last couple of weeks, Riel wasn't prepared for this. Not the death of two good men because they were not her first choice for leadership of a people that she hardly knew.
"Warden! Wait!" Riel heard the newly crowned king call out to her. Too exhausted to pull together even a fake smile, Riel turned and regarded the new king as he rushed up to meet her and the others. "You will be pleased to know that I will be able to gather our armies and send off a full battalion of men to aid you in the fight against the Blight. They should be ready to leave for Redcliff in two days time."
"Excellent, your majesty," Zevran replied, adding a short bow with his words. "However, if you will excuse us, it seems our elven blood is not so well suited to the underground as you fine dwarves are."
"A-ha! Well, I suppose I would feel the same way if I were to spend too long the surface!" Bhelen laughed and lighting bumped Riel's shoulder with his fist. Riel cringed and nearly reached for her blades on instinct, yet Zevran was quick to take both her hands within his own, lifting them up casually to his lips.
"Our Lady Warden has been through much trouble these past few weeks," Zevran replied, kissing each set of her knuckles lightly as his eyes held on to her own. He then turned his face to look at Bhelen, his usual charming smile in place. "If it would not offend his majesty, I shall be stealing away our beautiful lady here, so she may find a warm bath and suitable rest to ease her after so long in the Deep Roads."
Bhelen's eyes twinkled with a lurid understanding as he looked between the two elves. Riel had to suppress the shiver of revulsion that went through her as his appraisal somehow made Rile feel even dirtier than she already was. "Oh I perfectly understand my good man," Bhelen laughed lecherously. "You see to the Wardens needs, and I'll make sure those troops get to Redcliff as soon as possible!" This time Bhelen clapped Zevran's shoulder, giving him a wink before strolling off to address the members of the gathered assembly.
"Come mi bella…. Let me take you away from this place…"
"Yes… please…." Riel sighed heavily, letting Zevran guide her from the halls and out the doors leading to the affluent Diamond Quarter.
Just outside the large doors, however, stood another delay to Riel's much needed escape. Looking very much the determined warrior that Riel remembered him to be, stood Kardol, waiting patiently with his hands clasped behind his back.
Mythal, help me Riel prayed as for this man she plied what she hoped was at least a halfway decent smile on her face.
"Warden! I was hoping to catch you before you left for the surface!" Kardol beamed.
"Kardol… Nice to see you again," Riel smiled as best as she could. "Sorry we couldn't stick around and see how your men fared with the antidote, however I was anxious to get back on the trail for Branka."
"Do not trouble yourself, Warden," Kardol replied, waving off her apology. "I have actually come to tell you that thanks to your help cleaning out that crawler nest, our new king should have enough coin and gems to fill Orzammar's treasury for at least a full century! The Legion itself was even allowed to keep a large portion to help restock and resupply our men, something that has been more than difficult since our loss of Bownammar year ago."
"That's wonderful, Kardol!" Riel smiled truly then.
"We were also able to retake Ortan thaig, and claim many forgotten valuables that the Memories deemed lost for centuries. You've done something special for us, Warden. Something beyond just putting a king on a throne. You've given the whole of the dwarven people something to be proud of once again."
Riel felt speechless as she heard his heartfelt words. To her, the battles she fought were to protect people from the Blight or to save her friends. To know that she had done something so large for the whole of the dwarven people - it floored her. And it went a long way in easing her mind over what happened back in the Assembly Hall. However, even his kind and generous words lifted her spirit slightly, the weight of these past few weeks hung heavily around her neck.
"I am very pleased for you, Kardol. That is wonderful," Riel smiled, forcing herself to be polite despite how much she wanted to begin running for the doors to the surface.
"Before you go," Kardol said quickly as Riel turned slightly to go. Riel hid a wince, yet felt her strength buoyed by the comforting feel of Zevran's arm slip around her waist. "I have spoken with my men, and not only will you have Orzammar's army topside when you fight against the sodding 'spawn, but you'll have the full force of the Legion of the Dead as well. The Legion owes you a great deal, Warden. Anytime you call upon us, we will answer." Kardol then placed his fist over his heart and bowed down low. "Atrast tunsha, salroka. Valos atredum. Na Kallak, Amgarrak. Na Partha, Sha'latak. Na Tavash, Amgeforn." Kardol then stood and smiled at the Warden and her companions before turning swiftly on his heel and leaving quickly in the opposite direction.
"Shall the rest of us be off then? Quickly now before more short things endanger their squishy lives by calling upon the Warden, hmm?"
Riel almost laughed at the golem's remark, yet could only manage a genuine smile up at the creature before letting Zevran gently escort her from the Diamond Quarter and out to the Market District. The plaza was as busy as ever, with dwarves from all classes going about their day as they bought and sold goods. Word had travelled quickly that a new king was chosen and so nobles of all ages were busy buying new clothing and adornments for the upcoming events that were sure to take place celebrating King Bhelen's ascension to his father's throne.
"Leliana, if you would be so very kind, perhaps…" Zevran asked to the bard beside him.
"Of course. You take Riel up to the surface, and the rest of us will gather our things from Tapsters and find Alistair." Leliana offered the two elves a kind smile before leading the rest of the companions off towards the tavern.
"Come now, mi amor. Let me take you free from this place," Zevran purred into Riel's ear as he guided her through the throng of people. His expert reflexes and keen sight making sure that Riel never once ran into a single person while at the time quickly taking the both of them to the grande gates that led to the surface.
Just a few more steps…. Riel thought to herself as they passed through the gates to the city entrance hall and up to the stairwell where the outer doors were. Once standing there before the outer doors, Riel placed her hand lightly on the door before her. Tingling in the back of her mind was a feeling of anxiety. Telling her that she shouldn't leave. That the deep and dark places behind her where was she belonged. And perhaps that was true. Eventually, she would return here. To take her final walk amongst the Darkspawn and fulfill her Calling. One day, she will die as all Grey Wardens die.
However today - today, she was free.
With that thought in her mind, Riel pushed hard on the door in front of her. That first moment when the mountain air touched her skin and the sun shined down on her, Riel felt as if she was back outside of her old master's house. The brilliant sun blinding her as fresh air swept into her lungs, stealing her breath away. A flicker of panic arose within her as the familiar sensation washed over her.
"It's alright, mi bella… I am here…" Zevran whispered softly into her ear. And he was right. She wasn't alone this time. Taking strength from that, Riel clung onto Zevran as her eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light overhead.
With one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hand in hers, Zevran led her down the steps and past the guards that stood their vigil outside of the main doors. Blinking back tears, Riel let herself breathe in the earth and the sky and trees around her. To feel the sun and wind on her skin. Even though the mountain air chilled her exposed skin and sun hurt her eyes, Riel felt a wave of peace consume her that she hadn't felt for far too long.
"Riel! Riel, wait up!"
The peace she had felt quickly withered as Riel heard the familiar male voice call out to her. The clanking of his armor running abrasively on what little of her nerves and patience that she still somehow managed to have. Almost whimpering from the loss of the feeling, Riel leaned her head against Zevran's chest briefly before turning to face the approaching Templar.
"Alistair, please, can't this wait?" Riel pleaded as the man joined them.
"No. It's been too long already," Alistair huffed angrily, piercing Zevran with a deadly glare. "You need to see this. Now."
Riel looked wearily up Alistair before her eyes shifted down to the letter that he held. "What is it? News from Redcliff? Has something happened to the arl?" Riel felt Zevran tighten his hold on Riel as his eyes fixed on the letter. Suddenly she felt a chilly blast hit her skin, almost seeming to come from Zevran beside her.
"It's not from the Eamon. But it's important," Alistair corrected, handing the letter to her.
"Where did you get that?!" Zevran cursed, snapping the letter out of Alistair's hands before Riel could touch it.
"What is it, Zevran?" Riel asked, a deep pit of anxiety beginning to churn in her stomach.
"It is everything that I have been saying for months now! He is a traitor!" seethed Alistair.
Zevran turned to face Riel and touched his forehead to her own, looking down into her eyes. "It is a mistake, mi bella. Something that I did not want to trouble you with."
"Let her read it, assassin. Let her see for herself how far Crow loyalty goes!"
Zevran moved swiftly, pulling one of his blades free and pointing it towards Alistair's throat. "Stay out of this, Templar! This does not concern you!" he shouted, his voice filled with anger and venom.
"You're damn right this concerns me, you filthy assassin! You have been lying to all of us since Riel was foolish enough to let you live all those months ago!" Alistair roared, ignoring Zevran's outstretched blade and stepping closer to him. Both men glared threatening at the other, a hairsbreadth away from attacking each other.
"Enough!" Riel screamed out. Zevran looked over to Riel and immediately his fury and anger bled away and was replaced with a deep sadness and regret. That more than anything told Riel that she needed to see what this letter said. Her heart filled with trepidation, Riel still held out her hand towards him, determination set in her jaw. "Give me the damn letter, Zevran!"
Cursing loudly, Zevran's eyes went back and forth between Riel and Alistair, torn between wanting to gut the human and needing to take his Riel in his arms one last time before she hated him. Quickly he sheathed his blade and took hold of Riel's cheek in his hand. "This letter is not what it seems, mi bella. Remember that. Please," he pleaded. Hating himself, Zevran then placed the letter in her outstretched hand.
Riel's hand shook slightly as she took the letter and carefully unfolded it. While staying with her clan, the Keeper had taught her to read the common tongue well enough, even though she still struggled writing it. And as her eyes darted across the finely made paper, Riel for the first time wished she had never learned to do so. Perhaps then it might have been easier to believe whatever lies she would next be told if she hadn't been able to so clearly read the words for herself.
To my Brother, Zevran.
I have heard about your misfortune at the feet of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. Tsk, tsk, brother. How clumsy of you to have fallen to that traitorous bitch's attacks! But it is of no matter. I have a new deal for you, one that I am sure will come as both a relief and as an entertaining challenge.
As fate would have it, I will be in Denerim in a few months. Bring the Wardens to the following back alley, and we shall take care of them together, brother! Then when it is done, we shall both return to Antiva and back to the Crows. They will understand, as you are doing only what is needed to stay alive! With me to vouch for your story and the deaths of those troublesome Wardens to add to our story, I am sure you will be welcomed back into the family without any trouble. However, this where the challenge comes in my brother.
I know how close you have become with the female Warden. Bravo! It reminds of the that time in Orlais with that beautiful countess! For a full month you pursued her, plying both her ears with your charms and her bed with your body! Then when she declared her love, you plunged your dagger into her heart while screwing her! Ha!
Hopefully your new tryst is just as pleasing, no? From the stories that I have heard, she is indeed beautiful, and with quite the temper! You always did the love the spicey ones, brother. Ha!
Ah, but I jest. To be serious, it would be best for you to continue on bedding the Warden and befriending her comrades. It will make it that much easier to lure them into our trap, and it will add to our story when we return to the Crows! The tales of your trysts are almost legend among the newest members and trainees! And I am sure this one will be no different, my brother.
I will remain in Denerim for quite a while, so do send me a letter at our safe house there. There is much business to be had among these dog lords now with a civil war looming! I will see you soon, brother. Oh, and screw the bitch once for me, will you? I know I will be in my dreams tonight!
Farewell Brother, and keep well. Soon you will amongst your family again!
Taliesin
"Zevran…. What is this?" she cried softly, her eyes still on the page. Teardrops falling from her eyes and staining the page as she reread every word, every sentence, her mind swirling out of control as the dark meaning of the letter registered in her mind.
"As I said - he is a traitor!" Alistair sneered, his arms crossed over his chest. "Once an assassin, always an assassin!"
Memories of Zevran's stories came back to Riel's mind. Stories of how he used to seduce his targets. Gain their trust, then bed them. Of how he used his looks and his charm to get close to people before killing them. But that wasn't what it was with them, was it? He never loved any of them, did he? He wouldn't do something like that to someone that he loved, would he?
A sickening thought then came creeping into Riel's mind.
"Rinna…." she whispered, remembering the story Zevran told her as they sat along the shores of Lake Calenhad.
"No! No! Riel!" Zevran hissed sadly, taking her face into his and bringing her eyes up to meet his. "This is not like that! What is between us… What I feel for you is beyond anything I felt before. I would never betray you!"
I killed her. His words at describing what happened between him and the female Crow echoed back in Riel's mind. The coldness of his words mixing in her mind with how brutal of a fighter she knew him to be. Hard. Efficient. Calculated. It was something that Riel had always secretly admired about the other elf. The way he could so easily shift his emotions. From joking and flirting one moment to ruthless seriousness as he quickly cut down whatever enemy was in front of them. There was never a pause in his strikes.
"Did you like being an assassin?" Riel remembered asking him.
"I did. I enjoyed the hunt. The way I could outwit even the best guard or defences. And I enjoyed ending my target's life. It was a pleasure like nothing else, watching the life drain from their eyes."
Outwit. Outwitting her defences. Outwitting the careful guards she had put into place to protect herself. That's what he had done to her, wasn't it? A pleasure like nothing else. Like the pleasure he gave to her? How much of that was his feelings for her, and how much of it was his assassin training? Was a dagger through the heart awaiting her like that poor countess? Or was her life worth enough coin to Loghain that he would offer her up still living? A gift to the future ruler of Ferelden on behalf of the Crows.
All the times he had saved her. All the times he had made love to her. When he held her as she cried or when she laughed. What was design, and what was actual feeling? Was there any actual feelings? How did Riel know? She had no experience with men outside of the brutality of her past. Oh men using and abusing her for their own desires and needs.
Was Zevran the same? Had Riel just been deluding herself? Was he keeping her alive just so he could deliver her to Loghain and rejoin the Crows? Was any of it real?
"Riel…" Zevran whispered painfully, extending a hand out to her.
"Don't touch me!" she cursed out, shrugging away from his touch.
Burning fury exploded in Riel's chest as her mind raced. The magic within her body rising from its sleepy depths and charging the air around them, causing small sparks of electricity to appear in the air. Glaring down at the letter in her hand, Riel wished at that moment that she had died in the Deep Roads. Just so she could be spared this heart wrenching pain that now eclipsed her. Suddenly the paper within her grasp caught on fire as her whole body exploded in flames.
Zevran felt as if his entire world had broken to pieces. Watching Riel now, he would have given anything to take her pain away from her. He wanted to apologize for hiding the letter from her. To explain to her that he just didn't want to add yet another trouble to her already full plate of worries. To tell her that when the reached Denerim, he had every intention of hunting down Taliesen and cutting out the man's heart. That with his former friend dead, he would then send organ back to the Crows as a message to them all that he wanted nothing to do with them anymore.
He wanted tell her in every language he knew that he loved her and only her. To fall on his knees and beg for a forgiveness he wasn't worthy of. Yet the words would not come. Their already fragile peace they had managed to find since Branka's attack shattered to splinters under this latest blow.
Watching the last fragments of the paper burn to ash in Riel's hand, Zevran found himself wishing for her to break the silence. To give him her fury. To unleash her anger at him. To yell at him, attack him, burn him with her magic - anything other than the deep sadness filled silence that built between them. He would take it all gladly if it meant she would feel better. If unleashing her rage on him would bring a smile back to her face, he would gladly die at her feet.
"Riel? What has happened?" Leliana asked, suddenly appearing by Riel side. Worry and concern was on the rogue's face as she looked at her friend, yet she wisely didn't try to touch her. "Riel?"
Another moment of silence passed before the flames that had overtaken Riel's body suddenly went out, returning her to normal. "We go southeast, back along the King's Highway," she said stiffly. "The Keeper once told me that a clan came through the Brecilian Forest this time of year. With any luck, we should be able to meet up with them before they travel north again." Riel's tone held barely any emotion other than the hardness of her words as spoke. Without looking up at any of them, Riel walked away from the gathered group and towards the path that led down from the mountain.
"What in the name of the Maker just happened?" Leliana questioned both men.
"I finally showed the assassin for what he truly is," Alistair replied smugly.
Zevran took out his blade again and pressed it against Alistair's throat.
"Zevran! What are you doing?" Leliana screamed in surprise. Yet Alistair didn't even blink, instead returning Zevran's deadly glare.
"I warned you once, Templar. I warned you what would happen if you again caused our Lady Warden harm."
"It wasn't me that hurt her, assassin. I wasn't the one with the plan to deliver her to our enemies after I seduced my way into her bed!"
"What is going on here?!" Leliana screamed at both men. "If one of you do not start explaining to me why Riel just walked away from here looking as if she had just died, I swear I will skin you both!"
Alistair smiled cruelly as he continued to glare at Zevran. "It seems our resident Crow assassin had plans to hand both Riel and I over to Loghain when we next returned to Denerim. We were going to be his ticket to get back with his fellow murderers," he sneered.
"What in the name of the Maker?" Leliana looked over to Zevran, her expert eyes measuring just how closely he was to killing the male Warden. "Zevran? That can't be right. I know you love Riel."
"He doesn't love her! He was using her! He was using all of us! He bedded her to pass the time, or perhaps even some kind of sick joke! See how quickly he could bed the damaged elf so he could brag about it to the other filthy murderers in the Crows!"
"I swear Alistair, one more word out of you and I will let Zevran turn your insides into Darkspawn gruel!" she hissed to him before facing Zevran again. "You! Talk!"
Zevran's eyes flashed to hers, the anger and fury disappearing behind a wave of sadness and regret so full that Leliana gasped at the size of it. "I-..." he started, unsure of where to begin. "I was going to meet them on my own!" he finally stated firmly. "When I received the letter, I knew that I couldn't burden her with yet another problem. She had already suffered so much…" Zevran's voice broke as tears pricked his eyes. "When we had reached Denerim, I was going to find Taliesen and send his heart back to the Crows as warning to not come after me again!"
"Liar!" Alistair cursed out. "You never cared for Riel! She was nothing more to you than just one more woman for you to bed! To use! To lay your filthy knife-eared hands on her!"
"Zevran loves Riel, Alistair! I can't believe that after all this time you still cannot see that!"
"He has never loved her, Leliana! His kind do not know how to love! I'M the one who has loved her!"
"The only thing you love Alistair is your own idea of her! You have no idea who Riel really is! You love a fantasy, and in so doing have destroyed the one good thing this world!" Zevran hissed out.
"And you know her so well, do you assassin? Well I suppose a killer must get to know his mark before placing a knife between their ribs!"
"ENOUGH!"
All three of them turned their heads to see Riel standing several feet away, the glow of fire lighting up her small frame. With the mountain wind whipping her hair and her deadly glare upon them, Riel looked more the vision of a conquering goddess than a mortal woman. Seething in deadly fury, Riel looked to each man in turn before narrowing her eyes on Alistair.
"You are a such a bastard, Alistair. Even if I had never brought Zevran along with us, I would have never ended up with you. Zevran is right. You don't love me. You have never loved me. You wanted that fragile little elven girl from back in Ostagar who cried at night for how lonely she was. You looked at me and imagined some connection because of our shared taint. However hear me now when I say that that is all the connection we will ever have. And I loathe it as much as I loathe you."
Riel then turned her eyes to Zevran, the fury raging behind them softening into hurt and sadness.
"I thought I knew what love was. The Keeper once told me it was about trust. Trusting others with the part of ourselves that we didn't show to anyone else. But if that is what love is, I don't know if I want to love anymore," Riel cried, a tear running down her cheek. "What is love, if nothing but pain? Nothing but dealing with repeated hurts that just keep coming? That you cannot defend yourself against. If that is what love is, I don't want to love anymore." Riel reached a trembling hand up to her face and wiped away the tears that fell. "If I am going to be hurt and feel pain, I would rather it come from my enemies, rather than my allies. At least I can defend myself against those attacks."
"Riel, you know-"
"No, Leliana. I can't do it anymore. Not after what I just went through down there. I just can't do it." Riel pegged each man with a glare then. "Kill each other if you want. However, the Creators have saw to it that I need both of you still against the Blight. So if you're going to kill each other, do me the one favor either of you have ever have done for me, and wait until that sodding bastard is dead before you gut each other." Riel then looked past the three gathered to the rest of their companions behind them. "Next is the Dalish. They should be in the Brecilian Forest this time of year. There is still plenty of daylight left to travel, so let's go." Riel's eyes met the honey colored eyes she once took so much comfort in, yet now just only caused a deep pain in her chest. "I've wasted enough time as it is."
Riel then turned and walked away, not caring at the moment who followed her. Or why. The only thing that mattered was ending the Blight. After the Archdemon was dead, Riel would return here. To the snowy mountains and doors that led deep underground. She would walk the paths of those before her, even if her Calling had not come yet. Perhaps then at last would her body catch up with her dead heart.
And she could finally, truly, find real peace. And be free from all this pain.
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