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The Road to Ruin	By : pirouette Category: +A through F > Elder Scrolls - Oblivion Views: 2483 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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The
Road to Ruin, Chapter Four: Confinement
When I awoke the next
morning, Jauffre was readying the horses and Caleigh was fussing with her bear
pelt, which reeked of wood smoke. The light was streaming down from the trees,
covering the crumbled shrine in a smattering of radiance.
�Good morning, Brother,�
Caleigh said, winking at me while Jauffre's back was turned. I grinned at her
as I rose and began to collect my bedroll. She threw the pelt over the back of
the late Prior's horse, and chided him when he whinnied nervously.
�Get your cloak out of your
bag before we start riding,� Jauffre said by way of greeting. �I have no
intention of stopping until we reach Cloud
Ruler Temple.�
I nodded and handed him my
bedding to be packed onto my horse.
Once everything was ready, I
turned for one last look at the shrine. �It's a shame it's in such poor shape.
Could you make out who it was for when you found it, Caleigh?�
She vaulted onto the paint's
back. �Auri-El.�
Akatosh?
I stared at her, and she grinned down at me happily. She had planned this.
�Grandmaster, I think we
should head down to the road and give the Brother a chance to pray before we
continue our journey,� she said, grabbing Jauffre's horse by the reins. �You
need to tell me why this Temple is
any safer than the Priory, anyway.�
He sputtered as they moved
out of sight, leaving me alone with my god.
At first I was afraid to
pray�I did not want to face the empty feeling that had haunted me the past
several nights. But my feet moved toward the shrine, and soon I was standing
within what was left of the ring of pillars. My thoughts reached out, and to my
joy I felt his presence envelop me. No words were spoken between us, partially
because I still could not understand how the gods could just sit by and allow
Kvatch to burn, but I left feeling rejuvenated, and
very thankful for Caleigh. It seemed silly to me that only two days ago I had
been worried she was leading me farther astray from my faith.
I mounted my horse, ignoring
my stiff legs, and rode on, listening to Jauffre and Caleigh alternate between
bickering and stony silence. As the day progressed, the air around us became
quite chilly. When the first flakes of snow began to fall, Caleigh drew the
bear pelt about her shoulders and smiled at me happily. Her face was still
covered in flecks of blood, but she had found somewhere to wash her hands off.
Jauffre sniffed at her disdainfully, but by the time we were in the mountains
with the snow seeping into our clothes, she was the only one of us who managed
to remain warm and relatively dry.
Just when I thought my hands
could no longer hold the reins, the Temple
came into view. Or, rather, a massive set of walls loomed on the horizon.
Jauffre spurred his horse into a full gallop, and Caleigh and I did the same. I
was worried for a moment that she wouldn't be able to stay on without a saddle,
but it quickly became clear she had a better seat than either Jauffre or I. The
guards above the gates gave a shout as we came into view, and the great doors
opened with a low groan to allow our horses admittance.
I was unprepared for the
sheer scale of the place, and for the energy of the Blades it housed. They
poured out of every door, craning their necks to get a better look at me in my
shabby cloak and blood-stained monk's robe. Jauffre they treated with respect,
and Caleigh they completely ignored. She gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and
ambled off to the walls, looking out over the snow toward the city of Bruma.
Thinking there was no way any of this could ever concern her. I was left
standing on the stairs beside Jauffre, meeting the men and woman who had
dedicated their lives to dying for the Royal Family. It hit me, suddenly, that
I had no idea what I was doing.
As soon as I was able, I
freed myself from their cheers and their chants and joined her on the
battlement.
�That went well, I think.�
She smiled at me.
�Were you even listening?� I
wrapped my cloak more tightly about me.
�Yes. What do you think they
wanted, grand speeches?�
�Well, I am the Heir, after
all.�
�I think they know you'll
need time.�
Minutes passed, and more
snow fell, wetting her hair.
�I have no idea what I
should be doing.� I said at last. �How can I possibly lead them?�
She chuckled. �I think
Jauffre can help you with that. He seems full of ideas.�
�What would you do?�
I smiled at her, and she laughed again.
�I'm just here for the
Amulet, Martin.�
�I hope that is not entirely
true,� I began, but Jauffre chose this moment to interrupt us.
�I've spoken with the guard
captains, Bosmer. They are aware of your presence.�
She sighed. �How kind of you.�
�There is no space in the
barracks, but you may sleep in the Great Hall, if you wish. In all honesty it
will be warmer there,� Jauffre added, seeing my glare.
�No, thank you. I'd really
rather sleep outside.�
We both stared at her, and
she drew the bearskin more tightly around her shoulders. The blood-spatters
covering her face stood out starkly against her snow-chilled cheeks.
�So be it,� Jauffre
muttered, and after a warning glance at me turned and strode away. I wish
you had found one a little less wild, he'd muttered to me weeks
later, after the captains had complained to him yet again that they didn't like
her sleeping outside and startling them with her nightmares.
�I don't think your Blades
like me very much,� she muttered, and I felt my back stiffen.
�They are not mine.�
�Get used to the idea,
Martin,� she said quietly.
I sighed. �And you're
staying here?�
She nodded, and snow slid
from her hair onto her shoulders.
�I can't imagine this is
very pleasant for you.�
�I'm sure I will miss the
trees, but it's pretty, in its way,� she smiled.
I ran my hand over her hair
fondly and ignored the shocked stare of the Blade patrolling past.
In the days after, Jauffre
had Blades from all over the Empire coming and going, but there was no sign of
the cultists behind the assassination of my father. Behind
Kvatch. And until there was news, we were all forced to remain in limbo.
Time passed quickly for me, as the Temple
proved to have an acceptable library, and I had much to learn. I knew of Lord
Dagon, the Dragonfires that protected our realm, and the Amulet of Kings
that was needed to re-light them, of course, but that did not stop me from
brushing up on the details.
Sadly, it did not take
Caleigh long to begin railing at her confinement. She'd disappear at dawn and
be gone for the entire day. The first few times it happened, Jauffre nearly
drowned me in smug, knowing stares, but eventually he resigned himself to the
fact that she would always return at dusk, usually bearing a freshly-killed
animal across her shoulders. The Blades, for whom uncured meat was a rarity,
took to her quickly as a result, and soon regarded her fondly as a mere oddity.
Cyrus, a rather good-natured Redguard, took her under his wing and began
teaching her to properly use a sword. I overheard him suggest making her a
Blade to Jauffre, and was angry for days at the vehemence with which he was
told no. The training continued regardless, and soon Caleigh was parading
around with small cuts, bruises, and a sword of her own.
That is when I began trying
to teach her to heal herself. I knew from the outset that it would likely be a
futile effort, but it was an excuse to spend time with her without garnering
disapproving stares from Jauffre. Also, I kept having horrible flashbacks to
all the injuries she'd managed to earn in the few days we'd spent together
outside the walls. After three weeks of daily training she was able to heal the
minor wounds she received while training with Cyrus�if she cast repeatedly and
used all her reserves. We both grudgingly decided that for a Bosmer, that was
as likely as good as it would ever get. I tried teaching her a few ranged
lightning spells, but those ended poorly for the armory, and we silently agreed
to forgo further lessons.
For all her lack of magical
ability, she genuinely surprised me with her alchemical skill. When the weather
turned and fall hit, the night shift guards began to quite literally suffer in
the coldest hours of the night. At first Caleigh tried to make them bear pelts
like the one she still insisted on wearing, but when they declined she gave in
and brewed them potions instead. The first night they were accepted with some
suspicion, but word soon spread through the ranks like spellfire of their
effectiveness, and she ended up spending several hours of each day in the
library, working on creating more. In the end she settled on a formula that
shielded them from the cold, protected their limbs from frostbite, and allowed
them to see in the dark. One draught was enough to last a single guard through
the night, and she made them in large batches. Part of me wanted to ask why she
was giving the fortress such a stockpile, but I was worried I'd find her answer
to be something other than boredom.
It was about this time, as
the weather took a turn for the worse, that Caleigh began sneaking into my
room. The first night she came her skin was so cold it made me shiver to hold
her to me, and we did little more than caress each other. But after the success
of the first night, she began to make the trip with some regularity. The Blades
on night shift noticed instantly, but by this point she was too well-liked for
them to say anything to Jauffre. And so I became used to her sleeping beside
me. I told myself at first that I would be able to keep my hands off of her.
And I still believe I would have, if she hadn't had other ideas.
It started out simply.
Demanding more kisses, nibbling at my neck when she first climbed into bed. I
realized that she was testing me, seeing how far she could push me. We made a
game of it�she would do everything she could to me before I forgot restraint
and buried my head between her legs. But I never let her reciprocate,
because I knew the instant I did our game would be over. Even still, it soon
became clear that I wouldn't be able to resist for long, limitations or no. I
had two options: I could give in and take her as my lover, priest be damned, or shut her out forever.
In retrospect I find it
amusing that I pretended it was really a choice: out of all the people
at the Temple, she was the one with
whom I felt the most kinship. We had been through too much at that point. It's
impossible not to feel close to someone after falling asleep crying in their
arms. It's impossible not to care about someone who put herself through
unspeakable horrors to find me. And we also shared a different bond�a darker
bond. I respected her because she was trying to do something right after
clearly doing many things wrong. I saw far too much of myself in her, in fact,
to be anything but completely comfortable in her presence. Besides, the Blades
and Jauffre had been telling me for weeks that I was not a mere priest any
longer, but the Heir, and that it was time to act accordingly. If that were the
case, what was the point of celibacy? And so, when her lips found mine, I
always matched her hunger with my own.
She had been sharing a bed
with me for about a month before she finally managed to push me to the brink. I
had been asleep, only returning to consciousness when she straddled me and
began to lick my naked chest. Her clothing was in a casual pile at the foot of
the bed.
�What time is it?� I asked
groggily, running my hand through her hair.
�Who cares?� Her mouth moved
to my neck, and I felt my nerves come to.
�You've been gone all day.�
�I was in Bruma,� she
muttered. �See my new ring?�
�You're freezing! What in
Akatosh's name were you doing?� I drew her to me and inhaled her. She smelled
like pine, which made me realize just how long I'd been behind the Temple
walls.
�Trying to
keep myself out of your arms.� She looked me in the eyes uncertainly. I
ran my hand through her hair, and she sighed in contentment.
�I don't mind,� I murmured.
�Are you sure? I've tried so
hard to be good.�
I chuckled. �No, you
haven't.�
Her lips brushed against my
neck, and I shivered. �Trust me. If I had wanted to bed you, we would have by
now.�
�I think you underestimate
my discipline.�
�And you underestimate my
determination.�
I pulled her against me and
nibbled at her ear. �So what has stopped you?�
Her teeth sank gently into my shoulder. �You told me not to
rush you.�
Her answer made something in
my throat catch: it made me finally believe that she actually cared. �Rush me,�
I murmured into her ear, forcing the words out before I could second-guess
myself.
Her head jerked up and she
stared at me breathlessly, wondering if she had heard me properly.
�Rush me,� I said again,
covering her lips with mine and plunging my tongue into her mouth. She groaned
into our kiss, and the sound made me want to flip her over. But I restrained
myself. I had learned by then that if I was too forceful she would stop�she
didn't want me to make decisions when I had lost control. It was endearing and
infuriating all at once.
Her hands were at the tie to
my trousers almost instantly, and soon we were both completely naked on the
bed, a luxury I had never allowed us. She took a deep breath and licked a long
slow line from my nipple to my hip-bone. My nerves shrieked with desire, and I
forced my hands to stay still�otherwise I would have grabbed her by the hair
and guided her mouth myself. Her tongue flicked along my inner thigh, and I
gave a long, low groan of relief before looking guiltily at the door.
�If you're worried about the
guard, he left when he saw me. They haven't posted anyone at the door a single
time I've been here.� She grinned up at me.
�They trust you, then,� I
managed.
�Or, they just don't want to
hear their Emperor do this.� She slid her tongue along my shaft, and I groaned
again. Before I could reply, her mouth closed over me, and I lost the words.
Every part of me was focused on the feel of her tongue running along me, the
warmth of her mouth surrounding me. My eyes slid shut, and I allowed myself to
be lost in sensation.
She was good, and that was
high praise indeed coming from a man as jaded as I had once been. It didn't
take long before the sounds she drew from me were tinged with need. The women
I'd grown used to all those years ago would have kept at me until I begged,
pretending not to understand the signs. But she paused, allowed me a moment to
breathe. Kissed me, and began to moan in turn as my fingers explored her
wetness. She was certainly ready�she must have been thinking about this all
day. That thought made me kiss her with renewed force.
I grabbed her by the hips
and guided her so she was straddling my stomach, asking for her to relieve us
both of our tension. She looked down at me uncertainly, hair falling into her
face. I brushed one side behind her ear and smiled at her.
�Are you sure?�
Yes. �Yes,� I said, and
gasped as she enveloped me. She leaned down for a long kiss, threaded my
fingers in hers, and then began to ride me, gaze locked with mine. The candles
flickered and caught her eyes, lighting them up and making them shine. She watched
me, moving in ways intended to make me groan and writhe. Every time I
responded in a way she liked, she smiled down at me and squeezed my fingers in
hers.
It was excruciating. I
wanted her to take her time�I wanted to be able to watch her atop me. But at
the same time everything she did felt so good that I could hardly stand
to wait. I groaned again and slid my fingers from hers, trapping her hips in my
hands. She understood the cue�good girl� and shifted her weight to her knees,
increasing her pace. When her breasts began to bounce, I slid my hands up her
stomach and brushed her nipples with my palms. It was her turn to groan, then,
and mine to smile.
�Oh, Martin,� she gasped,
and my breath caught in my throat again. She leaned down for another kiss,
tongue seeking mine, making gentle noises every time she bore down upon me. I
grabbed her by the hips and turned her over with a motion so clearly borne from
practice that it made her giggle. Now I could set the pace. I told myself to
take my time, but the instant I slid back into her I knew that it would be
almost impossible. She was still watching me, and that alone was almost enough
to break all my resolve and treat her as I was used to treating my past lovers.
But she wasn't like the
others. She actually mattered, and so I forced myself to keep it slow. It
helped that she worked with me, meeting me halfway in all things. Her fingers
slid along my back, her lips grazed my neck, her hips
matched my rhythm. Instead of me taking her, we melded together of our own
will. Eventually her nails dug into my back and she arched into me, burying one
hand in my hair and pressing her face into my shoulder. Trying to be quiet as
her body shook and shuddered beneath me. She whispered my name into my ear,
nibbling at my earlobe, and made me feel more desperate than I had thought
possible. I increased our rhythm, gasping as she matched me again, creating a
seamless flow of sensation between our bodies. Her lips pressed against mine,
encouraging me, and soon I could take no more. She held me as I finished within
her, hands clutching at the bedclothes, face so close
to hers that I could feel her breathing. Still watching me,
still smiling.
I collapsed against her, and
she wrapped her arms around me with a noise of contentment.
�Finally,� she murmured at
last, and I laughed happily for far longer than I should have. �Does this mean
we can do this, now?� she added, covering my mouth with her hand and looking at
me seriously.
I rolled onto my side and
pulled her against me. �Darling, we may do this as often as you wish.�
It was her turn to giggle.
�I wouldn't promise that.�
We fell asleep, naked and
side-by-side, only separating when one of the Blades knocked on the door to
warn Caleigh that Jauffre had just risen from his pallet. It amused me then,
and still does, in a way, that she was able to so quickly win their loyalty
with meat and potions. If only the people that mattered
had been so easily bought. At the time we thought we could go on like
that forever. I was such a fool�

No, stop that. You�re
being silly.
I'm beginning to understand
what happened to Pelagius, you know.
Nonsense.
That was all Sheogorath. Continue, please.

I spent the day giddy,
staring off into space, and stoically ignoring the knowing smiles of Cyrus and
the others. Unfortunately, Jauffre was not an idiot. He saw the change in both
of us, and began monitoring Caleigh almost to the point of harassment. Tensions
mounted within the Temple, but the breaking point didn't come until three weeks
later, when Jauffre burst into my room to tell me we finally had a lead�and
found Caleigh naked, fast asleep in my arms.
�What in Talos' name do you
think you are doing?� he snarled, taking her by the arm and dragging her
into the Great Hall. My angry shouts of protest summoned every Blade currently
at the stronghold with weapons drawn. They stared in shock at the sight of
their Emperor, clad only in a pair of trousers, angrily pursuing a monk
dragging an equally infuriated, naked Bosmer by the wrist. He shoved her toward
the main doors and she stumbled, hitting the stone on her hands and knees. She
glared up at Jauffre as Cyrus swooped in, draping her in his cloak.
�All of you knew!� Jauffre
shouted, rounding on his assembled men and noting the guilty looks on their
faces.
Cyrus drew Caleigh to him
protectively and gave Jauffre a simple nod. My mentor's mouth opened, closed.
He shook his head. �Someone collect her things.�
�Grandmaster, please,� Cyrus
replied, and the others held still. Silence stretched through the Hall as
Jauffre attempted to compose himself.
�She is not a Blade. She
cannot stay here any longer,� he said at last, and the others shifted
uncertainly. We all knew that he was technically right. According to their tradition,
she shouldn't have been allowed to remain nearly as long as she had. But the
thought of not having her by my side was too much to bear.
�Fine!
I make her a Blade! You should have done so yourself months ago!� I shouted,
stepping forward and taking her from Cyrus. Her face was red with what I first
thought was shame, but when I felt how she was shaking in my arms I realized
she was angry.
�Martin, doing this will
only cause trouble.� Jauffre's voice was dangerously soft.
�You cannot deny that she is
useful,� I replied, glaring at him over her shoulder.
There was another long
pause. �Very well,� he said at last. �If she wishes to become a Blade and
remain behind these walls unless otherwise ordered for the rest of her life,
then she may.�
My heart sank as I realized
what he was attempting to do.
�But I was under the
impression,� he continued, �that she was only here until we could locate the
Amulet. After her debt is discharged, she is free to do as she pleases, after
all.�
No one breathed. Caleigh
turned in my arms and stared at him with an expression of purest hatred. Said
something I did not quite catch over the rushing of blood in my ears.
�What?�
�I'll do it.�
Jauffre blinked. �What?�
�I want to protect Martin.
I'll be a Blade.� She turned to me, caught my eyes. �I'll stay.�
I think now that may have
been the happiest moment of my life. Cyrus gave a whoop of joy, and the other
Blades allowed themselves a quiet smile of happiness. Only Jauffre seemed
displeased that his bluff had been called.
�May I go get dressed now,
Grandmaster?� she asked after a moment, looking at him with dignity. He gave
her a curt nod, then buried his face in his hands in
frustration as she gave Cyrus back his cloak before she went to reclaim
her own clothing. I knew it wasn't the right time to laugh, so of course I was
soon in hysterics. She remained wisely out of sight for the remainder of the
day, practicing blocking in the armory with Cyrus. I spent my morning in the
library to allow Jauffre time to collect himself, then brought us both food and
wine and sat with him in the Hall when the sun had begun its descent in the
sky.
�What did you want this
morning?�
He smiled at me as though
none of it had ever happened and helped himself to the venison on his plate.
�One of our Blades, Baurus, has a lead at last.�
I sat up straight. �This is
good!�
He nodded and took a sip of
wine. �I have decided to send someone to aid him in his search.�
�Excellent
timing. Some of the men are getting restless with all this snow.� I
remembered the smell of pine on Caleigh and sighed.
�Yes, some more than
others.� He met my eyes, and I realized our fatal mistake. But I should have
seen it coming. Caleigh would be allowed access to the Temple,
certainly�but had lost all control over whether or not she was given the time
to actually be within it. Should he wish, Jauffre could keep her away forever.
�Your Bosmer is leaving
tomorrow,� he continued after a moment. �If she declines, I have every right to
cast her out of the Order.�
I felt a tingle of
electricity at my fingertips and hated myself. �Very well,� I said, as calmly
as I could manage. �But when she returns, she shares my room. And you're not to
touch her again.�
�If
she returns, Martin. Remember�you live behind a wall.� He rested his
hand on my shoulder for a moment before leaving me to chase my worries in
endless circles.
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The Road to Ruin