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A Match to Tinder	By : Anesor Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 4095 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age 2, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Aldera is my character, as are a few new ones.

Chapter List
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The
Dragon Age world, plot, and their characters aren't mine but belong
to Bioware. I get no money for writing this sequel.

---
x x ---

--
outside Kirkwall, the Wounded Coast

Aldera
Hawke:

Having
my hair loose felt so odd after so long in helmets. I'd have to make
more changes in the next few days, but this was a good start.

Aveline
nodded significantly towards the outside of the cave, so I nodded and
stood. Fenris seemed to be dozing and Merrill was talking earnestly
to Varric.

My
heart drooped when I saw Anders was hunched in on himself, looking
inward. I already felt bad about slapping him earlier. With how he
seemed to need blame, I wondered for the first time if anyone else
had been involved in his stupid plan.

I
restrained myself from shaking my head. He did do it, as much as I
wished I could blame someone else, I doubted he could be controlled
by blood magic with Justice already in there. I wouldn't find any
answers until we had more distance and safety to really talk. I
stepped outside after Aveline along the scrabbled hillside trail,
with Bigpaws following closely.

He
was happy today as I was petting him more, but he was guileless and
loyal and... I'd miss him. I had no farm or holding or home for him
to retire to, he'd probably die protecting me from some stupid ass
bounty hunter or darkspawn in the Deep Roads.

A
sob came from my throat as I tried to stop myself from breaking down
into tears again.

“Aldera!”
I heard Aveline say, sounding worried.

Shaking
my head, I looked at her while wiping my eyes with my fists over and
over. “I'm sorry, I realized he's got a lot of gray in his fur
and he's not going to live much longer if I keep taking him into
combat. He's the last thing I have of my home and family and I feel
so awful that I'm crying over him more than the horror of all those
people in the Chantry. But I can't stop it.” I tried to say
something else, but I was having trouble breathing enough to speak.
I was taking great heaving breaths and I couldn't stop. I sank down
on my haunches with my knees against my chest and hugged myself.

It
took some time for me to get myself under control, even when Aveline
hugged me as I rocked. I never knew what to say at some times
either.

Finally
I'd stopped, and looked up at her, “Sorry about that. I'm
wasting time we don't have.”

“I
don't see a darkspawn horde,” Aveline said with a faint smile,
“I think we can spare a few minutes.”

Forcing
a smile, I said, “We'd have more warning for that, at least
this time. What did you want to talk about?”

Reluctantly,
she admitted, “We were planning to leave today yet and make our
way to another port with active smugglers.”

Uncurling
to sit, I told her with a wave at myself and the horizon, “Don't
change your plans for this. You have a better chance if I'm not with
you.”

“I'm
worried about you. He's insane even if not like the abomination that
Orsino became,” she said carefully. “You're... not
right,” she finished with some frustration.

“Then
I guess we belong together,” I said with another forced smile.
“You know me, I always put it aside when it comes to survival.”

“Or
to take care of your family,” Aveline said grimly, “Or
your friends, even if they do evil things.”

I
looked away to say, “I always hoped to limit the bad, that they
can do what they really need to do without doing the darker things.
But I've never failed at it so badly before. I should have realized
the signs.”

Again
I choked up, I'd failed to protect my brother, that Carver thought he
could defeat that ogre alone. My sister, that I thought she'd be
safer with me than close to the Templars and Chantry. I failed my
mother when that killer found her, and I failed Anders when he lost
himself into Justice and I didn't even notice. I'd liked Elthina and
Orsino and some of the Chantry I'd spoken with at times over the
years, in Kirkwall and back in Ferelden. I never felt comfortable
inside Chantries with the threats implicit towards my family. That
I'd have to give up to avoid attention, I thought in the back of
my mind.

With
a deep breath, I rubbed Bigpaws' belly and told her, “I'm not
at risk directly from him. All I have to do is keep him out of
trouble and keep us both alive.”

“Maybe
a toddler would keep him busy,” Aveline said with a nasty
smile.

“When
are you having children again?” I asked a little desperately as
a diversion, remembering Anders' wistful look whenever he dealt with
children at his clinic. I wasn't sure if there was a good way to
ever broach the topic as long as Justice was active. Children might
even provoke the spirit more as a distraction from his mission. I'd
never even dared to mention marriage to him, who would marry us if he
even wanted it? What did any vows from him mean? No, I'd never
marry like my oldest friend had.

She
flushed and waved her hand to resign the topic, admitting, “We're
thinking of heading to either Highever or Denerim. Teyrn Cousland
has one of the larger standing forces and royal favor now. Denerim
should have more groups of mercenaries.”

I
admitted, “I can't go too far from Ferelden as long as I have
Bigpaws, but beyond that I have no idea right now”

“Highever
is known for their kennels, though I heard Amaranthine and Redcliff
have growing mabari companies too since the blight,” Aveline
admitted with a grin. “Maybe I could get one someday,”

“Having
your puppy try to settle on your lap when he's gotten too big is
awkward and funny,” I grinned. “Not to mention that no
bed is big enough.”

With
a punch to my shoulder, she said, “Maybe you should get another
mabari soon or see if he can go to stud in return for one puppy.”

“You're
right,” I admitted, though that might play havoc with my
planned cover.

“You
need this, Aldera,” Aveline told me more sternly, “Something
for you that the ass won't dare take away. When has a mabari ever
done anything unjust to its owner?” Pausing a moment more,
looking at the sun, she added, “We need to go, if we're to find
shelter before dark.”

It
was almost mid-afternoon and we still weren't that far from Kirkwall
in the one day since the Chantry blew. Any Gallows records of us
should be intact for hiring bounty hunters, so I stood and turned to
go back to the cave, trying to plan. She touched my arm and pointed
at her face. I wiped with a damp rag, feeling embarrassed at the
second gentle reminder today after one from Merrill earlier.

I
felt bad when I realized the others were essentially guarding Anders.
He was pretending to sleep with his arms crossed. His eyes opened
into slits for an instant with a sliver of blue instead of his own
warmer brown, then returned when our eyes met after a second or two.
A few more words with Aveline and Donnic, then one last collection of
hugs from Merrill, Varric, and I, and they left. We left camp after
that, with Merrill leading through older trails towards the Bone Pit,
which had such an fatal reputation that few would follow us to that
mine at first.

Our
travel was quiet, Varric would hum or chat with Merrill. I'd reply
only if spoken to directly, while Fenris and Anders spoke even less
than I. The most cheerful of us was Bigpaws, who wanted to fetch
sticks for me whenever possible. Hours passed in near silence. No
one found us or attacked. I only concentrated on moving
forward and watching for attacks.

We
stopped at dusk to make camp, and I was still exhausted when I made
my way across the campsite to get some water for dinner and washing.
I approached Anders and he said bitterly to me without even looking
me in the eyes, “You deign to see the prisoner? Will I have
only a more scenic prison than before?”

I
stopped my approach in a graceless skid, unable to breathe, afraid to
even try to check if he was more Anders or more Justice. I didn't
know which would be worse. So I turned away, croaking out through a
tight throat, “Leave if you want, I will not ever imprison
you.” No matter how much I long to hold you...

I
wanted to break something, to scream, to rend my hair, to just bawl
my eyes out, so I settled for running into the brush. I could not
stay and watch him leave me, not after all that had happened. Right
then I didn't care if I found some beasts or went over a cliff. I
ran until I had a stitch in my side, but I must have been under the
Maker's protection as I came to a stop in some scrub on a rocky
hillside. Sitting in the lee of a wizened brush, I huddled again,
holding myself and trying not to sob.

Soon
a sloppy lick told me Bigpaws had followed me. I hugged him and
cried again, with a bitter voice inside me saying that this desert
was all I deserved after letting Anders live. It didn't even sound
like Vael.

---
x ---

A/N:
Thanks to several beta readers who have been kind enough to read
this and point out stupid flubs. Any typos that remain are not
intentional... Reviews or a PM to let me know what you think would be
very appreciated.
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A Match to Tinder