Joker checked the camera overlooking the hallway to the cockpit, trying to keep calm. They had arrived at the Citadel an hour and a half ago, encountering no problems along the way. However, EDI still hadn't arrived for their trip to the Citadel. He wasn't sure if this was her idea of a joke, or something had gone wrong. Glancing at the camera again, he was greeted by the sight of EDI heading towards the door. "What took you so long? I thought you said an hour after we docked," he asked as she entered the room, wondering why she was late for her own outing.
"Specialist Traynor informed me that according to human customs it was socially imperative that I make you wait an additional 30 minutes before leaving," she replied innocently. Joker grumbled into the back of his hand, surprised he hadn't realized that beforehand. He made a mental note to find a way to get back at her for this. His nerves had been on edge the whole time, worrying about what he'd be stuck doing on the Citadel.
"Are you ready to go now?" He asked, hoping to get this over as quickly as he could. EDI nodded her head in agreement, helping him up as he levered himself out of his comfy chair. He felt his bones crackle in protest, as he carefully walked to the airlock, before he felt EDI wrap her right hand around his waist, supporting him as best she could. She slowly guided him through the doors to the security checkpoint, hoping her scheme would work.
They encountered no problems, apart from the few admiring stares that seemed to follow her body's movements as she held Joker's waist tightly. She let out a relieved sigh she hadn't realized she was holding in. Nuzzling her breasts into Joker's arm in anticipation of her first visit to the Citadel, she punched the button for the presidium as they entered the elevator.
The elevator stopped, opening the doors to one of the busy holding areas for refugees. EDI heard an enormous level of chaotic noise within her excellent range of hearing, almost overwhelming her sensors. Joker was surprised to see Kelly Chambers almost run straight into him, stopping at the last second when she noticed someone was in front of her. As she pushed the button for the floor of the human embassies, she greeted her old friend.
"Joker! It's good to see you!" she exclaimed, delighted and surprised by the turn of events. she said, "I just saw Shepard, he just helped me change my name and everything. I even found a job as a secretary for one of the ambassadors thanks to him," She smiled, telling him, "I don't know what I'd have done without his help."
"That's great, Kelly," Joker said, happy to see an old friend. "So, how did you end up on the Citadel?"
"Well, after being rescued by the Normandy..." she paused, as if remembering something. "Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever thanked you for all the trouble you went to save us." She leaned into his personal space, giving her a nice view of her perky top. "Since you're here, how about I buy you a drink at Purgatory?" She smiled suggestively. "I know a great... tour around the Citadel I could bring you on."
"That will not be necessary, Miss Chambers," EDI interrupted, adding, "I believe Jeff will be quite busy touring the Citadel already." Glaring at her on the other side of Joker, Kelly realized they weren't alone in the elevator. Joker gaped at EDI in alarm as she realized what she had unknowingly let slip.
"EDI? I- I mean, EDI! What are you doing here!" Kelly squeaked at hearing EDI in her new body, frightened by the murderous stare she was giving her. "I didn't mean anything, I thought he was looking for something to do! If I'd known he was with you, I'd never!... That is you, right EDI?" She added breathlessly, waiting for probably easily the hottest robot she'd ever seen speak.
"...That was a joke," EDI weakly added. Kelly shrieked as she spoke those words, hugging her tightly, happy to see her as well. EDI waited for an acceptable amount of time, before resorting to escaping Kelly's tight grip. "It is nice to see you again," she eventually admitted to a smiling Kelly, infected by the happy mood.
The doors opened to Kelly's stop, bringing her back to her senses. "Well, it was nice to see you two, but I have to get off here," she said regretfully. "Let me know if you two are ever in the neighborhood, I could take you both on that tour," she added, moving out the door, before winking at the two of them. "Bye!"
As the elevator continued on its journey downward, Joker saw EDI's worried look. "I'm sure she won't go blab it all over the Citadel," he reasoned, trying to tell himself the same thing.
EDI agreed, muttering, "if she knows what is best for her, she would do best not to remember it." She saw his reaction to her comment, adding, "I would not hurt her. Too much." Joker nodded his head, reminding himself not to get on her bad side. The elevator doors opened to the comparatively quiet presidium, giving EDI her first moment to absorb the scenery before her eyes. Helping her companion down the stairs, she located an acceptable bench for Joker to sit on while she went about her activities. As he sat down to rest, she turned to encounter a wildly grinning Mordin. She quickly dragged him towards a nearby store far outside Joker's hearing range, but within his line of sight.
"Ah, EDI. Glad to see you took my advice. Lots to do here," he said as EDI calculated the odds of escaping to the Normandy if she killed him immediately. "Would suggest this clothing store here." He pointed a store with revealing clothing and skin-tight suits. "Shopping ideal for date. Or movie. Purgatory bar acceptable as well," he continued, unaware of her thoughts as she could find no scenario in which she might bring Joker with her as she escaped. She remembered Mordin was also crucial for the fight against the Reapers, so she had no choice but to let him live.
"I remember telling you not to interfere, Mordin," she angrily retorted, unable to act upon her frustrations. "Did Jeff ask you for assistance? I do not recall asking you." Mordin shook his head, smiling at her questions.
"Not intruding. Would not dream of it. Merely..." he fished for a word to describe to his involvement in their affair. Finding one he announced, "Consulting!"
EDI had heard enough. "We will be fine without your involvement, Mordin. Besides, this was merely an opportunity for myself to explore the Citadel, nothing more," she added, daring him to say otherwise.
"Of course. Well, must return to lab. Plenty to do. Was merely checking up on you two. Have fun," Mordin said, before leaving for the Normandy. EDI she watched him go, she noticed a number of bystanders glancing at her considerable assets. She slowly reconsidered Mordin's idea of going shopping, privately admitting to herself that for all his scheming, he was only trying to help them.
EDI turned to go back to Joker, intent on not encountering anybody else who could ruin her day. Unfortunately, he was already talking to Shepard. All she could pick up from their conversation was Joker talking about the billboards next to them. She saw Shepard finish their conversation before heading over to her, mentally marking today as her unluckiest day in existence.
He grabbed a seat beside her before turning to her, saying "hey, EDI. How's your first look at the Citadel?"
"It is adequate, Shepard," she replied, her expression carefully blank. "However, I believe I require new clothing. This form draws too much attention to itself."
"Ah." He glanced around, seeing most of people surrounding them looking in their direction. "I think you might be right about that. But warn me before you tell Joker. He's the one enjoying it the most. I know he'll try to talk you out of it."
EDI absorbed his words, realizing she had not considered Joker's reaction to her decision. She looked over to see Joker waving happily at the two of them, unaware of the nature of their conversation. She considered a new idea, which would resolve their current predicament, before deciding it was the most effective solution. Letting Shepard know of their eventual involvement would relax the need for discretion, and give her valuable insight into how the other crew members would react if they were discovered.
Going ahead with her plan, she stated "I believe he would not mind. He has not stated it, but I believe he has begun to develop a strong attachment to me." She saw Shepard was not surprised by this revelation, so she continued. "Shepard. You have firsthand romantic experience. How do you know someone is romantically interested in you?" He scratched his head, distracted by the question.
"Well, they usually want to spend more time together and do things that interest you. But you're a robot, I don't really know how that would work. It's kind of tricky with you two. "
His reaction led to the conclusion that he didn't mind if they were involved, so EDI quickly interrupted him hoping to end their conversation. "I understand. Perhaps I could provoke him into an emotional commitment." His alarmed look indicated she had said something wrong. Using her preferred phrase for situations such as this, she hurriedly added "...that was a joke." Shepard slowly shook his head, buying her lie for the time being.
Standing up, EDI said, "I must go. I have not finished exploring, and I believe Jeff is getting bored. I shall see you back at the ship, Shepard." Escaping from what she hoped was the last interruption, she walked over to Joker. "I need to do some shopping. It is best if you would come with me." She slowly helped him up, leading him to the store Mordin had picked out during their chat.
Joker missed his comfy seat as EDI pulled him along, moving a little too fast towards their destination. "Alright, alright! I'm going with you. Now slow down a little." Passing the doors to a store, she lowered him onto the nearest bench. Looking up, he asked, "so why did you have to drag me over here?" He stopped when he saw the store he was in.
"I needed your input," EDI answered, as she saw him look around the store. She was privately delighted to see him gawk at the various lingerie, see-through clothing, and thinnest materials she had ever seen. As he ogled some of the less revealing suits, she discovered a pair of fuzzy pink cuffs that seemed inadequately built. They would not hold back her strength, but she grabbed them anyway, imagining using them on Joker. Selecting a full-body suit that caught her eye, she ran her fingers over it, inspecting the fabric. Apart from the blue arms, the rest of the silky smooth material was white. She placed it against her chest, comparing it to her body. When she could not arrive at a conclusion on whether there would be a noticeable change in colour, she turned to Joker. "Is this acceptable, Jeff?"
Joker tore his eyes from a rack of everything pink to see EDI holding what had to be hottest suit in the store. It matched up perfectly with the colours on her body. He wondered what she would look like wearing it. Seeing a decently sized dressing room near the back of the store, he figured he might as well find out.
"Yeah, you should try that one on," he agreed. He saw one built identically to the first one, but all black, and a third that was completely pink. He quickly added, "and try the black and pink ones too." Grabbing the ones he had indicated, EDI made her way into the dressing room to try them on. She was pleased to note that she could slip in and out of each suit very easily, leaving her extra time to examine her dressing room. It had hooks on each wall for her set of clothes, allowing her to place them neatly on opposite walls, and a mirror on the door. A fuzzy elastic seat was connected to a bench on the wall furthest from the door, leaving plenty of room for her to change in. She considered letting Joker sit on this softer chair for his comfort, when she heard Joker talking. Inspecting herself in the mirror, she decided she would buy the three suits as she saw her appearance. She left the white outfit on, leaving the other two sets hanging on the wall. Exiting the room, she encountered an asari examining Joker as she traced a blue finger down his chest, standing dangerously close to him.
"Why, I don't see this person you're talking about," she grinned, sliding her hand along his pants, feeling his cock jump at her touch. "How about we go to my apartment and you can find something real to play with. I'm right here," she purred, imagining her human prey fucking her silly until they both passed out from the pleasure. She felt somebody tap on her shoulder. Looking over, she came face to face with one of the angriest beings in the universe. "Ah! Maybe later," she screamed, running off in hysterics, vowing never to try to hit on her customers ever again.
"Joker, a word, if you're not too busy." Joker gulped, seeing EDI smiling at him. He knew he was in trouble now. He quickly took in her appearance. The suit had done nothing to hide how hot she was, it only exaggerated her features. He could see the outlines of her nipples pushing through the thin material, and if he wasn't mistaken, she also had a camel toe. He'd never seen anyone so horny, sexy, and deadly all at the same time. She slowly dragged him into the changing room, placing him on a very furry, plush seat, before slamming the door shut. She turned to stare at him before grabbing his hands and raising them above his head. He closed his eyes, expecting the worst.
"I have had enough of people interfering today," she angrily told him, pulling out a pair of pink handcuffs. "Until I allow it, you are not moving from that seat," she declared, cuffing his hands together before hanging them on a hook above his head. "You are going to regret even thinking about fucking that incompetent asari when I am done." She trailed a hand down to his pants, discovering he was already hard after what the asari had done. EDI sat on his lap, not bothering to free his cock, placing her hands on the hooks adjacent to Joker's bound hands.
"But EDI it wasn't my fault! She just walked-" Joker's excuse died on his lips as she smothered him with wet sloppy kisses, not caring what he had to say. Feeling her tongue run over his lips, he opened his eyes to her see her biggest weakness staring him in the face. He saw one of her hands move to tease her magnificent mammary glands inches from his face, and quickly came up with an idea to save himself. EDI began to pull away to tell him off again, seeing his chance he made his move.
"I do not care. It is time for your punishment. You-ahhhh!" She cried at the sensation in her left breast, feeling his mouth place his lips on her bountiful bust. His tongue lapped at her areola, moving in a circular pattern around her nipple. "Jeff! Oh... yes..." EDI moaned aloud, feeling his mouth tease her nipple, unable to do anything except fondle her other tit, trying to mimic his actions but failing. "Jeff, suck on my nipple," she moaned as his tongue flicked her erect nipple, never staying there for long. His actions sent shudders through her body to between her legs, where she hastily placed her free hand, rubbing it along the soaking lips to her entrance. The suit only made her wetter, somehow giving her easier access to her clit than if she were wearing nothing at all. Unable to bear it any longer, she begged him for what she wanted. "Please, Jeff," she moaned, unable to control him as she had planned.
Joker finally gave in to her request, fitting his mouth around her nipple as she shrieked his name. He felt her hand move down to his lap, when she started rubbing her crotch along his knee, letting out small gasps of pleasure as her fingers stroked what his leg didn't touch. As he continued sucking her nipple, it slowly excreted what should have been milk, but tasted like honey. She began bucking her hips along his knee faster and faster as he tasted it.
EDI felt a sensational pressure on her nipple as Joker sucked on it, feeling him swallow the strange liquid. Her hand discovered that her nipple not used by him also oozed the bizarre liquid. Rubbing it into her suit, she discovered the juice coating had greatly reduced the friction of the suit as her hand slid across it. Her examinations were put on hold as her other hand rubbed along her increasingly wet pussy between her legs. She screamed in pleasure as she felt what happened when her finger pushed into her suit, penetrating the tight lips.
"I'm cumming, Jeff!" he heard her cry out as her crotch rubbed frantically along his thigh, expelling a small amount of liquid from her lips. It dripped down the inside of her suit as she slumped against him, recovering from her orgasm. He let go of her breast, impressed that he'd gotten such a good result from his position, and registered pain from the leg she had been grinding against. He knew for certain it was badly bruised, maybe broken from her efforts. Making her cum so fantastically had been worth it though, he thought as she softly moaned into his hair, before sliding to the ground before him. Just when he thought it was all over, her hands moved again with purpose. As she grabbed at her suit, pulling it down below her knees with one hand, her free hand slid up his thigh towards his trapped cock. Freeing the fully hardened length from his pants, she kneeled between his legs, intent on continuing her original punishment.
"Do not assume I have forgotten why you are here, Jeff," she smiled up at him with a ravenous look on her face. "You still need to be punished," she added, reaching between her legs to scoop up the wet substance dripping from her pleasure center. Her drenched hand moved to her heaving tits, smearing the slimy substance all over them before doing the same to his pulsing cock.
"I am going to suck and jerk your massive dick off until you cover me in your hot, sticky cum," she explained. "You are not permitted to move unless I tell you," she added before pulling off his pants, discarding them on the ground as she leaned in to stare at the neglected shaft. Pre-cum had gathered along the head, spilling out while she had rubbed her juices into his shaft with her hand. EDI leaned in, licking her way along the underside of his head lovingly, running her tongue in a circle around his head before pushing her lips over the tip, capturing his cock in her salivating mouth. She held his throbbing cock in both hands as she sucked on the juices trickling out from his head, slowly taking him deeper into her mouth in the hopes that he would try to speed things up. She felt him buck his hips, trying to quicken her progress as her mouth eventually reached halfway down his delicious cock, tasting the scrumptious juices she had smeared along him. Pulling herself off her fucktoy with a juicy pop, she smiled evilly at him as he groaned in disappointment.
"I warned you what would happen, Jeff," she reminded him. "You could have let me suck you off until you shot your load down my throat, but unfortunately that is no longer an option, is it?" She asked, not expecting a response. Seeing him so distressed, she grabbed his tip, sampling the juices he was expelling from his cock. "I will have to find a more efficient way to collect your cum," she added, before grabbing her sensitive tits in her hands, leaning in for a better grip.
Joker remembered her instructions too late, unable stop himself from pushing into her hot wet mouth. As he considered how he could possibly get her to continue, he noticed her grab her tits, twisting her nipples in pleasure. Whatever pains he suffered were worth this, Joker thought, as two incredible spheres of perfectly pleasing pillows and warmth enveloped his cock. He gazed at EDI as she playfully looked at him, smiling while she pumped her beautiful, milky-white breasts up and down his long shaft. He moaned in pleasure as her nipples brushed the tip of his cock, seeing her do the same while watching his eyes slowly close, smiling as he felt every motion her slippery breasts made along his cock.
EDI shot him a smirk as he closed his eyes, before returning her attention to the organ trapped between her breasts. Her nipples were more sensitive than when she had her suit on, and she moaned every time one of them brushed against his tip. She heard him hiss softly as she leaned down to capture the head of his leaking cock between her lips. She drank in his juices while continuing to stroke her breasts rhythmically around him.
Joker opened his eyes to see what EDI had done, feeling his cock suddenly ready to burst. She looked up at him with her mouth fastened around his swollen cock, as her tongue licked at the edge of his tip. Her lips curved into a smile as he pushed his cock deep as he saw her pull her breasts away, feeling her take in more of his cock into her mouth than she had ever done before. She groaned into him, her throat stimulating him as his cock rammed into her. He felt his shaft squeeze in protest when she tried to pull it out, before she relaxed her muscles, quickly pulling him with a wet pop.
She gasped as she felt him finally leave her mouth, stroking his cock casually as she spoke. "You continue to ignore my orders? Fine. You win. It seems I am defeated by your big tasty cock. I will have to let you have the victory, this time," she smirked, unable to stop herself from running her tongue along the bottom of his shaft with loving, loud slurps before continuing. "You will have to prove your dominance by shooting your sweet jizz into my mouth, as I jerk you off with my nice big tits before swallowing it all. I will wear your cum on my tits afterwards to show us who my master is." Pulling her lips off him, she wrapped her breasts around his glistening rod, finishing every word with an upstroke of her heaving tits. "Cum all over your slave's face, Jeff. Drown her, in your big hot load of sticky spunk," she moaned, placing her head over his cock to suck the delicious pre-cum onto her tongue, waiting for him to unload deep inside her mouth.
Joker took her words to heart, imagining her face covered in his cum, before he felt her breasts wrap around his cock again. He lasted a few more seconds before feeling his shaft spasm and burst. "Open wide!" he cried out, as EDI obediently followed his orders.
EDI groaned in pleasure as she felt the first massive load of thick, creamy seed blast into her mouth, covering her lips in the remarkable taste she recognized as the cum of her pilot. She swallowed greedily, just in time to catch the next considerable cascade of gooey, sticky juice to fountain out of the delicious shaft in her mouth. She tugged on him using her tits even as she gulped what was left in her mouth, savoring the feeling of the warm jizz as it shot onto her breasts that were rapidly milking him dry. She worked her breasts around the pulsing shaft, trying to coax more out, even though her face and chest were already covered in a layer of her favorite spunk. His cock erupted once more, shooting sticky wads of Joker's hot cum onto EDI breasts, to form a pool of cum slowly coating his cock. She shivered in delight as the creamy white warmth landed on her face, feeling heavenly against her skin. She closed her lips around the head below her to suck him, letting her breasts plop down back onto her cum covered skin.
Running her tongue along the cock, she gulped down the white juices on it as she stroked him, enjoying the sensation it created as the sticky jizz slid down her throat. She ran her other hand over her face, drinking the cum she had collected before standing. Inspecting the suit she had left beneath her, she discovered the inside had been coated in cum from their activities. Sliding it on, she remembered the sensational feeling of Joker's cum on her as she walked around doing her daily duties. Inspecting herself in the mirror once more, she turned to Joker.
"I would like to purchase this suit. It perfectly hides your cum stains, and I find it acceptable to wear for missions. Do you have any objections?" she asked, undoing the cuffs around his hands as he looked at the other two sets of clothes she had selected.
"Yeah, go ahead," said Joker, making the easiest decision he had ever considered. Pointing to the pink suit, he asked, "did you want to get those ones too?" Seeing EDI nod, he smiled and moved to get up, but remembered the leg she had grinded on as it flared painfully in protest. "I think you'll have to help me back to the ship," he added as she carefully supported his injured side.
"Of course, Jeff." She gathered her selection of clothing on one arm, holding Joker on her other side. As they made their way to the cashier, they recognized the asari from earlier, trying to avoid EDI's eyes. "I would like to purchase these items," she stated, daring the unfortunate seducer to do anything but agree.
"O-Of course. Just put in the account number," she said, trying not to glance at either of them as she pointed to the desk terminal. EDI mentally accessed the store records, locating the cashier's own account number, and put that in as the account number. This asari would never try this again on Joker, EDI told herself, but couldn't help but feel smug as she left with Joker on her arm.
Making their way back to the Normandy, the two ran into Dr. Chakwas as they entered the ship, who noticed Joker's painful walk. "Alright Joker, let's see what you broke this time. EDI, bring him down to the med bay, but take your time," she said as she ran off to prepare for their arrival. As they eventually arrived at the medical lab, EDI couldn't help but feel guilty at the pain she had caused him, before feeling Joker grab her arm. Turning to him, expecting his anger at the wounds she had inflicted, she opened her mouth to speak, but instead felt his lips on hers after he checked to see the coast was clear.
"Totally worth it, EDI. I'll see you later at the cockpit," he said as he shuffled over to the medical bay door, entering the room. She noticed Mordin had his same annoying smile as he watched her from inside in the lab. She walked towards Dr. T'soni's quarters, hoping she would have room for her to put her new clothes, before noticing Joker stare at her through the window of the medical lab.
At least today had not been all bad, she mused. Smiling at him, she mentally marked today as her happiest day in existence.