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Free as a Bird	By : Letticiae Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 9737 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, nor do I own the characters. I do not make money/profit from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter 4 – It Won't Be Long
Hawke and Arthur met in the barn every other day during his last ten days in Lothering. "Practice makes perfect," she used to hear her father say while making Bethany practice her spellcasting until her mana was almost completely drained. Although he wouldn't approve of how his older daughter was using his advice, at least she had listened to him for once. Twice, counting the lesson about the contraceptive potion. That was two times more than he thought she had ever listened to him.
Hawke didn't want to cry her eyes out when the time came to say goodbye to Arthur, so she had been putting a lot of effort in making peace with the idea of not having him around anymore. She would miss him immensely, but the promises they made to each other comforted her. Apparently she had listened to her father more than twice for it was from him that she had learned that promises are never to be broken. They were a commitment not only of words but also of dignity and character.
Dawn was breaking when Hawke, Bethany, Barlin and Leliana gathered on the side of the road to say their goodbyes to Arthur. Leliana said she was going to pray for him and kissed his forehead. Bethany hugged him and wished him luck. Barlin patted his son on the back and turned to Hawke.
"At first I was afraid of sending Arthur away. I thought that he might never come back. Why would he, if I was all he had here? But seeing the way he looks at you, kid, I'm sure he'll come back." The old man gave her a faint smile and left. Bethany and Leliana followed him, giving the couple some privacy.
Arthur and Hawke hugged each other tightly, let escape a few sobs, shared a warm kiss, repeated their promises and made a few more before he jumped on the back of an already moving oxcart in the last row of the merchant caravan headed to Denerim. Hawke stood there until the caravan disappeared from view. Already missing him deeply, she went home to write him a letter.

Not long after Arthur's departure Malcolm passed away, leaving Hawke in charge of taking care of her family. It was a heavy burden for an eighteen-year-old girl. Everyday chores seemed so futile in times like these, that Leandra couldn't even think about them. She had given up her family, title, riches and homeland to elope and live freely with the man she loved. Now he was gone and she was supposed to wash clothes, make dinner, answer mail and shop for food as if nothing had happened? She couldn't. But needs and bills didn't respect grief. They kept coming no matter how dire life was.
Seeing how devastated her mother was over Malcolm's loss, Hawke took charge of everything, from organizing the funeral to darning socks. There was no time to mourn her father. As for the coin to provide for her family, she had to put her rogue skills to use. She got all kinds of errands to run around town even if the pay wasn't very good. Luckily Lothering was always having problems with giant spiders and wolves, sometimes even bears. And people would pay Hawke to wipe them out. She even got some work from the Blackstone Irregulars which she thought it was going to be exciting but turned out to be just courier service, delivering notes to new recruits or giving the bad news to the wives of recently deceased Irregulars.
At first, she wrote to Arthur every week. However the pressure of providing for her family was taking its toll on her and after a few months she couldn't spare time for lovesickness. Once a month was all she allowed herself to write him nowadays. Arthur on the other hand continued writing her weekly and was growing concerned when her letters stopped at all, about two years after he had left Lothering.
That was when rumors about increased darkspawn activity outside of the Deep Roads started spreading. Hawke thought that if the rumors were true, King Cailan's army officials would show up there in no time recruiting, arming and training the youngsters to join their ranks. It was the opportunity she needed – a real job, a steady one that would make it easier for her to provide for her family and, most importantly, would give her some spare coin in case they had to leave all behind, fleeing from templars to protect Bethany.
A couple months later the army officials showed up in Lothering. Hawke got in the sign up queue first thing in the morning, where Carver joined her shortly.
"What are you doing here? Go home. I don't need company," she said harshly.
"I'm not here to accompany you, sister. I will join the army," he stated.
"What? No way. I'm supposed to take care of you, not let you risk your life, Carver. Go home."
"You think you're carrying the world upon your shoulders, don't you? The poor girl who has the heaviest burden in Thedas, who has to take care of her useless family without any help."
"I never said that!" she growled.
"But you sure feel like that!" he retorted.
"That's enough, Carver. You're making a scene. Everyone is looking at us. Leave and we'll talk later, ok?" she muttered trying to avoid making a bigger scene.
"I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to do everything alone. I can help our family too and so can Bethany. We're not useless. You protect us too much. Also I'm old enough to make this decision."
He is right. "Fine! I don't think you're right but you are eighteen. Join the army if that's what you want."Actually, it'll be really nice to have someone to help with the expenses. This was a good idea. He's just a boy now but in the army he'll surely become a man. It'll be good for him. For us.
They enlisted. Training started the next day and they received new weapons and armor. A weekly wage was promised them. It was a fair amount and they would finally be able to save for emergencies. Leandra was glad to see her daughter for the first time in a long time come home looking upbeat instead of beaten down and it was only her first day as a recruit. I guess she found her path. It's not what a parent would dream for a daughter, but it's the best she can have right now, her mother thought.
A week later Hawke was leaving the army training camp right outside Lothering with a grin in her face and her first wage tingling in her pouch. This day couldn't get any better. She felt such relief for not having to sign up for those petty jobs on the Chanter's Board anymore and work her ass off for some cheap bastard farmers who were afraid of spiders. She was feeling so good that she even considered killing the monstrous spider that lived in a cave in the outskirts of Lothering. She knew that spider was giving birth to thousands of others giant and poisonous ones on a daily basis, but she hadn't killed it yet. Without it spawning new spiders every day to terrorize the farmers, she would probably have run out of work and her family would have starved during these past years.
No, I won't kill it. If this army deal goes wrong somehow, dear monstrous spider is my plan B for getting some coin in this fucking village. Hawke thought cheerfully while taking off her armor and slipping into a comfortable robe in her bedroom. I even have a plan B. This is a first. This day really can't get any better.
"What's for dinner?" Hawke entered the kitchen in a great mood and lit up the room.
She used to have this effect when she was a kid. I hope she doesn't lose it again, Leandra recollected. "This arrived today. It's from Arthur."
Hawke opened the envelope. There was a ring and a letter in it.
Dear Marian,
I haven't heard about you in a while. You might have stopped writing me but that didn't change how I feel about you. On his last letter father told me you were alive and well, slaughtering giant spiders for him and the other farmers every other day. Why didn't you ever tell me this? You deserve better than being a sword for hire and I'll give you all that you deserve if you let me. I'm coming home on the twenty-fifth. I'm coming home to you, to be with you and I hope you'll have me. I'm really sorry I didn't leave Denerim sooner. If you still love me, please, forgive me for not being there for you and I'll never leave your side again.
You must have found a ring in this envelope. I made it for you and I want you to have it whether you accept marrying me or not.
Yours,
Arthur
Hawke held the letter tight to her chest. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Is he coming back?" her mother asked.
Hawke nodded. Leandra stroked her daughter's dark hair and wiped her tears. "You'll be very happy together."
"I know, " Hawke said taking a deep breath and slipping on her finger the beautiful, thick gold ring with a finely carved hawk on it.

In the past years Hawke had forbidden her mind to linger in silly romantic reveries. She couldn't lose focus on the task of taking care of her family. If Arthur ever returned, like he said he would, and still loved her she would marry him, but she wouldn't waste time daydreaming about it. She had spiders to kill, wolves to hunt and coin to make.
Now all her uncertainties were settled. She had a job and so did Carver. They were making good coin and Arthur would arrive in twenty days to marry her. Everything was finally falling into place. She deserved that.
The next days she spent on the army training camp with Carver during mornings and afternoons. On the evenings she went home to plan her simple wedding and sew new smallclothes and nightgowns with Bethany and Leandra. I'll go talk to sister Leliana tomorrow. Maybe she could officiate the wedding, she thought.
Hawke left her house early the following day to stop by the Chantry and see the rogue sister before heading to the army camp. When Leliana heard about the good news and started rambling about wedding dresses, shoes and hair-dos, Hawke couldn't cut her off. The sister was really happy for her former students but had to refuse officiating the wedding since she had not taken her vows. The women talked a little too much and the bride-to-be was running behind time. Hawke left the Chantry and picked up her pace trying not to be too late. Arthur would arrive the next day so she just wanted to be done with the training and go home to bathe and get a good night sleep.
The army camp was more agitated than usual and Hawke found it odd. Many soldiers were writing letters and running after couriers that were rushing in and out of the camp nonstop. Weapons were being chosen, polished and sharpened. Potions were being packed. Coin and goods were changing hands rapidly.
"Sister, where were you? " Carver said running towards her.
"I'm not that late. What's going on?" she asked.
"The King sent for us. All of us. We'll leave in two days to fight at Ostagar." He looked at her unable to decipher the expression on her face. There was no expression. She didn't know how she felt about that news.
This is why I joined the army, to fight. No. I joined for the coin. But I knew that the darkspawn were surfacing. What about Arthur? I waited for him; he has to wait for me too. He'll understand. I'll fight, survive and come back home. At least Carver will be with me. Thank the Maker for his defiance. We'll take care of each other, she made up her mind. Carver could now recognize the look upon her face. It was determination.
The siblings didn't have anyone to write to, so they took care of other stuff they needed. Carver tended to their weapons and armors while Hawke bargained for supplies, potions, a backpack and whatever else they might require.
When Carver and Hawke got home, Leandra and Bethany were already aware that half their small family would be heading to war soon. Though the mother had spent the whole day weeping about it, when her kids stepped into the house she greeted them with a wide smile, blessings and words of encouragement. Bethany didn't take the news as hard as her mother. Actually, she was proud of her siblings, of how brave they were and wished that someday she wouldn't have to hide anymore for being an apostate. Then she would fight with them and share their burden of taking care of the family.
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Free as a Bird