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Only You	By : RainbowYuki Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2367 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts or the characters or profit from this

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Roxas’ POV
The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon. I was a bit confused at first, but then I’d remembered that Axel had slept over last night. I sat up lazily and stretched, but shrunk back when I felt the cold air hit my chest. I turned my head to look at the clock on my nightstand. Eleven thirty, I didn’t normally sleep past nine. Over the year I had formed a habit of getting up at eight thirty everyday for my job. I must have been worn out after yesterday’s incident. I removed my covers and stood, remembering to put a t-shirt on before I left my bedroom.
When I entered the kitchenette I was met by Axel’s bare back. I cleared my throat as I felt a blush crept up onto my features. He turned around quickly, obviously I’d shocked him.
“Oh, good morning. I hope you don’t mind, but I needed to do something to keep my mind off of home, so I cleaned up a bit and I wanted to make breakfast as thanks for letting me stay last night. I uh, I also needed to freshen my shirt up so I put it in the wash, I felt icky after sleeping in my clothes all night.” He smiled sheepishly. I looked around my apartment and he had indeed cleaned it, it was almost spotless. My living area alone looked twice as big as before.
“T-That’s fine” I stuttered. “Though you really didn’t have to do all… this” I gestured around me.
“It’s really no problem” He grinned back at me, as he began serving the bacon to plates that already had eggs and toast on them. My mouth salivated at the sight. Come to think of it I didn’t really eat anything yesterday. At that thought my stomach let out a loud growl. I held my abdomen sheepishly and smiled timidly at the red head who only chuckled in response as he set the plate in front of me on the breakfast bar. The food looked delicious. I sat down on the bar stool and uttered my thanks to Axel as I dug in.
He sat next to me and mussed my hair. It might have been a small sign of friendly affection to him, but for me it made my stomach do a somersault. We ate in silence for a few minutes with just the noise of forks and knives clattering against the plates. I set my fork down once I was almost finished and looked carefully at Axel as he ate.
He glanced sideways at me before he began to speak.
“I don’t mean to be rude Roxas, but you’re making me a bit uncomfortable” he spoke light-heartedly.
“Sorry” I apologised. “I was just wondering… you said earlier that you wanted to keep your mind off of home. Why? Did something happen?” I questioned leaning a bit more towards him. He sighed and placed his knife and fork onto his plate. Bringing a napkin to his face he wiped his mouth and scrunched said napkin up in his fist.
“I’m not sure what’s happened” He turned his head towards me and looked at me with uncertain eyes. “How can I go back there?” He asked, voice cracking slightly. He closed his eyes tightly.
“I don’t…” I began before the redhead started speaking again.
“She left a voice mail last night. Well she left a few, but this one… I’m scared of losing her Roxas. I’m scared of losing the one thing that was constant in my life. I was comfortable you know? Sure, we weren’t perfect but who is? But she’s all I’ve ever known” It was at this point I noticed there were tears running down his face. But he refused to look at me. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he was laying his emotions bare. “I’ve known for a while now that we were drifting apart. I just… I don’t want to end up alone”
Seeing him like this was disheartening. I was about to place my hand on his back but I thought best of it. Bringing my hands back to rest at my lap I scooted closer to him. “Listen, Axel. As long as you have friends and family you’ll never be alone. Relationships can come and go…”
“I know that already” He interjected. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better Roxas. I really do” He looked at me and gave a small smile. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and heaved a sigh. “God, I hate that you had to see me like this” He sniffled, his cheeks puffy from the tears.
“No biggie. Sometimes it helps to let it all out” I replied. Suddenly the telephone on the far side of my apartment started to ring, making us both jump slightly. Excusing myself from the table, I quickly made my way over to the noisy device. Seeing it was my sister Naminé calling I picked up.
“Hey Naminé” I greeted her cheerfully. Quietly I told Axel I was going to go to the other room to take the call. He nodded in acknowledgment.
“Hello Roxas” She sounded happy as usual.
“How’s it going?” I asked casually as I sat on the end of my bed.
“Great, everything is wonderful! I have something to tell you” Ok, now she sounded unusually happy.
“Go on…” I urged, amusedly.
“Marluxia proposed!”
“That’s great Nams, I’m so happy for you. It about time you both got hitched” I admitted, leaning back on my free hand.
“But that’s not all. The wedding is in 3 months” Now I was a bit confused.
“Naminé, do you really think 3 months is long enough to plan a wedding? There’s so much to sort out. There’s the venue, food, photographer, guests, rings, and flowers… though I’m sure Marluxia has a hook up there” I spoke as I stood up, pacing my room.
“Roxas, you doubt my capabilities” She giggled. “Everything will be fine; you let me worry about that” There was suddenly a deafening silence on her end of the phone, then after a sigh she spoke again.. “Roxas I was wondering. Since Dad isn’t here anymore… would you…would you give me away at the ceremony?”
I was so happy to hear her say that, to the point I was almost in tears.
“Oh, Nams, did you even need to ask? I’d love to” I admitted.
I heard her release a sigh.
“Thank you, Roxas. Listen I have a few more calls to make, so I’ll speak to you soon, ‘kay?”
“Kay, love you Naminé”
“Love you too, Roxy” At that I heard her phone click off.
I walked back into the living room to see Axel washing the dishes. Walking over I grabbed a dish cloth and began to help him.
“You don’t have to help you know” He said as I grabbed a plate from the draining board and began to dry it.
“Look, you made breakfast and cleaned my apartment, this is the least I can do” I pulled my tongue out at him as he handed me another plate.
“Yeah, yeah” he teased.
“That was my sister calling. She says her boyfriend proposed to her this morning, isn’t that great” I spoke as I watched him immerse a bowl into the soapy water.
“Yeah, it is. I didn’t know you had a sister… she hot?” He asked playfully, earning a nudge from me.
“Hey! That’s my now engaged sister you’re talking about, man” I exclaimed. But then a smirk made it’s way onto my face. “Besides, people say she looks like a female version of me, so she must be hot…” I left the statement hanging to gauge his reaction.
“You wish short stuff” Oh, well. That felt like a swift punch in the gut.
“Pssh, I’m hotter than you, fire truck” I stated, crossing my arms at him.
“Oh, you’re going there are you? Bimbo” He laughed as he splashed the water in the sink at me.
“Hey, what the hell that fo… wait, Bimbo?” I asked shocked, but it just made Axel laugh harder. Grabbing the dish towel I hit him lightly with it before I started to dry the knives and forks.
“So, does the guy your sister is going to marry have the Roxas stamp of approval?” He asked as he fished around in the bowl for more cutlery.
“Marluxia? Yeah, he’s cool I guess. I mean, he sometimes grates on my nerves, but he seems to make my sister happy.” I replied with a smile.
“Marluxia… that name sounds familiar. Where have I heard it bef- FUCK!” He yelled suddenly making me drop the plate I was currently holding.
“What?! Oh shit, are you ok?” I asked as he pulled his hand out from the soapy water, which was now completely red.
“Wasn’t paying attention… shit! I sliced it pretty good. I didn’t know there was a fucking carving knife in there, Fuck!” The profanities kept coming. Grabbing his hand I pulled it under the cold water tap and began running the water
“Just, keep your hand under there for a minute or so, I’ll be right back. Don’t move!” I warned as I left the kitchenette to get the first aid kit.
When I returned I saw Axel hunched over the sink with his hand a slight purple colour from the cold water. I opened the emergency kit and pulled out a bandage and some medical tape.
I placed my hands on Axel’s arms and guided him to sit on the bar stool. He was shivering. With not having a shirt on and having to stay with his injured hand under ice cold water, I really didn’t blame him.
“I know it might be hard but try and hold still for a sec” he nodded and held out his hand, with his other hand holding his wrist to keep steady. I dried his hand gently with a clean towel and began wrapping the bandage around his hand, pulling tight to stem the blood flow. “You might have to go to the hospital for some stitches” I stated as I finished wrapping the appendage. Grabbing the medical tape I quickly finished it off and made sure I it was securely wrapped.
“Nope, n-no can do, I hate hospitals.” he said matter-of-factly.
“No one likes hospitals, Axel. But you have to go, that’s far too deep and could get infected. We’re going” I ordered. “I’ll even hold your hand while they stitch you up” At that he just rolled his eyes.
“I don’t have a shirt. My shirt is still being washed”
“You can have one of mine; I have some old college sweaters that were too big for me. One of those should fit you”
Having gotten him an old sweat shirt we left my apartment, with a lot of fuss from the red head. The drive to the hospital was quiet, apart from the odd curse word from my foul mouthed friend. Or complaints how he couldn’t jack off now because he’d lost his favourite hand. I laughed because I thought he was joking, when asked about it he said he was being truthful. That just made things plain awkward.
On arriving at the hospital we were told to stay in the waiting room. That was 30 minutes ago.
“Oh, god! Can someone just give me some painkillers or something?” Axel moaned with his uninjured hand covering his eyes.
“I’ve known women in labour to make less noise than you…” I told him. And I wasn’t lying when I said that. Just then a petite brown haired nurse popped her head out from the door in front of us.
“Mr. Kasai the doctor will see you now”
“Finally!” He exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the room with him.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I was being pulled by the redhead.
“You said you’d hold my hand”
“I was joking…” I replied, a bit surprised that he thought I was serious.
“Well fuck, Roxas. I’m petrified of needles and I’ll be damned if I have to suffer through this alone!” He admitted, his eyes giving me a pleading look. “It was your idea to bring me here, so…” he left the statement hanging as he held his non-bandaged hand out to me. Hesitantly I held on to it. Almost instantly he squeezed my hand and the doctor hadn’t even removed his bandage yet, let alone started stitching him up.
“Jeez, Axel. Loosen your grip a bit” I strained out.
“Sorry” he said dejectedly. Feeling sympathetic I gave a small squeeze back in reassurance.
Having had his hand finally unwrapped I got a good look at the wound. It was still bleeding pretty badly and it looked like it was a good 2 centimetres deep. I cringed at the sight. I’d never been a fan of blood, but when the occasion called for it I could suck it up and get over it. Now being one of those instances. Once the local anaesthetic had been applied Axel loosened his hold on my hand slightly. Even though there would have been no more pain for him he still held on to my hand and it made my heart flutter slightly.
When the procedure was over Axel flexed his stitched up hand, wincing a little when he clenched his fist a little too much. He finally released my hand; I let out a small whine at the loss of contact.
I looked to the doctor as he was explaining to Axel the dos and don’ts now he had his hand fixed up.
“For the first twenty four hours, keep the sutures dry. After that you can shower, wash your hands and do any other tasks you used to do. Do make sure you dry your hand immediately once it has been wet. Look for any signs of infection, and if you do happen to see any come back right away. Other than that you should be fine. You can come back in a week or so for you sutures to be removed.”
“But no more needles, yeah?” he asked suspiciously.
“No more needles” The man confirmed.
Axel let out a sigh of relief and ran his unscathed hand through his hair. “That’s great, thanks Doc, and uh Thanks Roxas…” he said as he turned around to face me. He rubbed the back of his neck. “…For you know, supporting me back there, it means a lot”
“No problem, you big baby” I joked and pulled my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes at me and opened the door to head back out into the hospital corridor. I tried to make my way out of the door first when Axel shoved my head playfully. “Wha- hey!”
“That’s for calling me a baby”
-x-x-x-x-
It was almost two thirty in the afternoon when we finally arrived back at my apartment. After Axel had helped me clean the shattered remains of the plate I had dropped earlier that day, we talked about everything and anything. He told me how he had an older brother called Reno. That as well as a fear of needles, he was also terrified of heights. (To which I laughed because he was quite tall to begin with, then he told me to shut up because his own height often affects him) That he could live on pop tarts for the rest of his life if he had to because he loved those, as he so eloquently put it, ‘sugary fuckers’. And that he hadn’t spoken to his parents in eight years since he had left home with Larxene.
He’d spent almost 3 hours telling me about his life, I could have listened to him talk all day.
So here we are, currently sprawled out on my couch. I was sitting with my back against the arm of the couch, my left leg bent to accommodate Axel and my other leg hanging off of the edge. Axel was sat as far down on the cushion as he could get. Both of his hands resting on his stomach and his long legs extended out in front of him.
“Enough about me…” The redhead next to me spoke. “I still don’t know anything about you” He nudged my knee with his own.
“Not much to know” I said with a small laugh.
“Aww, come on. What about family, what’s going on there?” He asked, seemingly interested.
“I have a younger sister who’s better than me at almost everything. A mom with an OCD for cleaning; which she uses as a coping mechanism. And my dad… well he died last year”
“Oh. I’m sorry, Roxas…” He said saddened, placing a hand on my knee.
“It’s fine, at least when he died we were on good terms” I admitted as I played with the hem of my shirt, making sure to not make eye contact with the man in front of me.
“What do you mean?”
“My dad and I had always been close, like best friends. We did everything together. Ball games, we played video games, fishing. Everything you expect a father and son to do. But 4 years ago just after I’d moved for college I came out to my parents… btw I probably should have told you this before but I’m… I’m gay. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us” I said, making it sound almost like a question.
He shook his head quickly. “Not at all, I have friends of every orientation, Roxas. No discrimination there.” He smiled. “Anyway, continue” He said, giving my knee a slight squeeze.
“Right… uhm. When I came out, my Mom was fine with it, my Dad not so much. I don’t think he was against my choices, but I think he was more hurt that I had kept it from him. Like he was angry that I didn’t feel we had a close enough bond to share something like that with him. But I was more afraid of his reaction to me. That was why I’d left it so long. After that he’d stopped calling on a weekend to see how I was. He’d stopped inviting me over for the holidays, everything. But after 3 years of no contact with him, he finally called me. I was so happy. We met up, talked it out and he hugged me. He told me he was proud of me, and that nothing, not even my sexual preferences would change that.” By this point I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I don’t even know at what point during the story that I had started crying. But I carried on regardless. “On his way back home, he… err… he had a sudden brain aneurism while driving. His car crashed head on into a logging truck. The medics said he’d died before the collision. He fucking died on his own, Axel… There was no one there to hold his hand in his final moments…” My hands came to face covering my eyes as the tears fell, full force. I was finding it hard to breathe, my whole body began shaking.
Axel removed my hands from my face and he gripped my shoulders. “Roxas, look at me” He said gently. When I refused he lifted my chin up with the tips of his fingers. He looked into my eyes apologetically. I was almost immediately calmed down by his deep green irises. “I’m sorry that all that happened, and I’m even sorrier for making you bring it up” He looked away for a second seemingly thinking. “Just don’t cry, okay?” He looked back at me then and smiled, wiping away my tears with the pads of his thumbs. “You look really ugly when you cry”
I choked out a laugh and wiped away the tears from my red stained cheeks.
“Thanks” I said sarcastically before hiccupping slightly from shortness of breath.
“Sorry, but it made you smile again” He admitted.
I let out a ragged sigh, and just then I felt Axel pull me into a hug, his uninjured hand stroking my hair lightly. “Just so you know, your father’s death wasn’t anyone’s fault. I can’t help but feel you blame yourself slightly for it. But these things happen, Roxas. Unexpected yes but nobodies fault”
I nodded against his chest, and deeply breathed in the faint scent of menthol cigarettes. And before I knew it my breathing had steadied and I was finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. I muttered a ‘Thank you’ to Axel before my world went black and I was immersed into the blissful state of slumber.
x-x-x-x-x
I awoke four hours later, by now it was ten PM. There was an unfamiliar ringtone chiming throughout my apartment. Sitting up lazily I looked around. Axel was nowhere to be seen. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to the coffee table and saw Axel’s phone lighting up. I walked over and saw the caller ID said Larx. Hesitantly I answered the phone.
“Axel! Where the fuck are you? I’ve been waiting in this apartment all day for you to come home. I left you a message asking you to come home. Do you even check your phone anymore? Are you even listening to me?!” I was taken aback by her sudden outburst. Quickly I realised I had to reply to her.
“Uhm. Axel’s not here. I actually don’t know where he is, I thought he’d gone home” I said as I began scratching my head in thought.
“Who’s this?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’m Roxas, a friend of Axel’s. He was here not too long ago, but obviously he’s left his phone behind…”
“Why was he with you?”
“He spent the night last night. A few things just got on top of him and he needed some space. Has he not been home at all?” I was starting to get a little worried.
“If he had I wouldn’t be phoning right now. Look… Roxas, if you see him tell him we need to talk.” With that she hung up. I removed the phone from my ear and gave it a confused look. As I went to place the phone back on to the table the phone started ringing again, this time from somebody called Demyx. I was in two minds about answering the call but if he knew where Axel was, then I wanted to know.
Clicking the accept call button I raised the phone once again to my ear.
“H-hello?” I stuttered.
“Axel?” The voice questioned
“No, I’m a friend of his. He left his phone at my place”
“Oh, okay, I’ll let him know you have it when I see him later”
“Wait, you know where he is?” I asked urgently.
“Yeah, he called me about an hour ago telling me he needed to let off some steam. So I’m meeting him at seventh heaven, I was just calling to tell him I’d be late.”
“Seventh heaven… Thanks!” I hung up the phone quickly and placed the device in my jean’s pocket. Not bothering with my appearance I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys. I was worried about the redhead. Why would he have just taken off like that? And why would he leave his phone? Was it to avoid Larxene? He couldn’t avoid things for the rest of his life; otherwise it would tear him apart inside. I’m pretty sure that was already happening to him.
It was a fifteen minute car journey to seventh heaven. It would have been half that time had I know where the bar was to begin with. Upon entering the building my senses were greeted by the smell of smoke and alcohol, the sound of people laughing and shouting obscenities to one another and drunken hugs and fumbles. It wasn’t hard to spot the redhead in the sea of people. He was slumped against the bar with a whiskey glass in his hand. Making my way through the crowd I sat next to him taking the whiskey glass away from him. He didn’t react aside from glancing towards me and then back to the bar in front of him.
“How many have you had?” I asked.
“More than I can count on… both hands” he replied, speech slightly slurred.
I sighed and ran a hand through my mussed hair.
“Did you know you left your phone at my place” I said as I produced the phone from my pocket and place it in front of him. A lazy nod was his answer. “Your girlfriend called. She said you both needed to talk, she sounded pretty pissed”
“Figures” He mumbled with his eyes closed.
“Is there something wrong? Why won’t you go back?” I was almost pleading with him now. Just seeing him in the state he was in was horrible. I wanted so much to help him, but I couldn’t if I didn’t know why he was like this.
I didn’t get a reply; he simply hid his face in his hands, swaying slightly from the alcohol in his system.
“Come on, you’re going home” I ordered as I removed his hands from his face and began to help him stand. He stumbled, almost falling flat on his face, but I caught him just in time. His face was so close to mine, I could feel his breath on my face. I scrunched my nose as the smell of whiskey was burning nostrils. He steadied himself, but kept his face close to mine, almost as if he was inspecting me.
“Your eyes are really blue Roxas, so much prettier than Larx’s” He said as he brought a hand to my face, thumb brushing over the cut beneath my eye from when he had hit me. “I’m really sorry I hit you. Really. You can hit me back if you want. I won’t stop you”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Don’t be stupid Axel. Come on, stand up straight. You’re going home” I placed an arm around him as best I could due to his height, and hooked his arm around my neck, holding on to it.
“I dun wanna” He moaned childishly.
Ignoring his objections I hooked my fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and began walking him to the exit of the building. Looking at Axel one wouldn’t think he was that heavy, but believe me it was a struggle back to my car.
Finally I was driving us back to our apartments. Axel was slumped in the front passenger seat with his cheek resting against the window. The smell of whiskey filled the car as Axel breathed heavily. He was silent the entire journey home so I assumed he was asleep. When we arrived home I turned into the car park and brought the car to a slow stop, so as not to disturb the redhead too much.
I heaved a sigh and ran my hand over my face.
“I’m exhausted” I muttered to myself. Despite having several hours sleep earlier on, I was drained by the day’s events.
“M’sorry for ending up in the… the state I’m in” I heard Axel speak as he rested against the window. “You really shouldn’t have come for me” he turned his head slightly so he could look at me. He instantly turned his gaze away.
“It’s okay. Okay, maybe it’s not okay.” I admitted as I folded my arms across my chest. “I was worried about you, ok? When your girlfriend called she said you’ve avoided your apartment all day. When I woke up to find you weren’t there, I’d assumed you’d gone home. But then I find you in this state. Axel, there’s more going on between you and Larxene than what you are letting on. I’m not going to ask you about it, but please don’t destroy yourself over it.” I pleaded with him. Suddenly his brought his hand up to my head and ruffled my hair. I was bit confused to say the least.
“Thanks. I’m actually glad it was you that came tonight instead of her. With her it would have been another row. More of her hypocrisy about me getting drunk. You understand me. You… you care more than she does, and I appreciate that Rox.” His voice was soft, and my heart fluttered a little at the use of ‘Rox’. Up until now he’d only called me Roxas. Maybe he was becoming more comfortable with me? I certainly hoped so.
“No problem” I smiled before I unbuckled my seat belt, doing the same for Axel. I helped him out of the car, and up the two flights of stairs to his apartment. It was a bit of a struggle. He still wasn’t steady on his feet but he seemed to be sobering up pretty quickly. I knocked quickly on the redhead’s door, making sure to keep my grip around his waist tight. After a few seconds the door was swiftly opened by the blonde woman I had spoken to earlier on. Her face was one of disgust.
“Who are you?” she questioned placing her hands on her hips.
“I’m Roxas, we spoke earlier. Look, can we get him inside? He was complaining about feeling sick the entire way up here and I don’t want the contents of his stomach all over me” I said, adjusting my grip on the redhead. She moved aside with a sour look on her face, no doubt from the way I had just spoken to her.
“You knew where he was? Why didn’t you phone me telling me you’d found him?” She asked as I took Axel to the bathroom.
“It slipped my mind, I was more focused on getting his drunken ass home” I brushed myself off once I knew Axel was a close enough distance away from the toilet should he vomit. I looked back at Axel one last time to check on him before I glanced up at the blonde woman before me. She didn’t look pleased.
“Whatever” she mumbled as I made my way past her, shutting the bathroom door.
“Look, go easy on him ok? He’s had a rough day with having to go to the hospital…”
“He was at the hospital, why?” She interrupted. I was sure I could see a small amount of concern on her features.
“If you’d noticed his hand is all stitched up, it’s nothing serious just a little incident from this morning. As I was saying he’s had a rough day and apparently there are things on his mind that he obviously tried curing with alcohol” I said as I rubbed my eyes, feeling the full effects of exhaustion by now. There were a few moments of silence between us. Taking the initiative, I decided it was time I left. Before I exited through the front door I turned around to her. “Look after him, ok” It wasn’t a question, but I’d definitely said it with more force than I had intended.
“What are you to him?” she asked suddenly, catching me off my guard.
“Excuse me?” I asked puzzled.
“You heard me” she said, narrowing her eyes at me.
“…I’m just a friend” I hesitated. It wasn’t a big hesitation, but there was no doubt she had caught on to it.
“Well thank you for bringing him home in one piece, but you’re not needed now” and as soon as she had said that I was promptly pushed through the door; said door being slammed right behind me.
x-x-x-x-x
Axel’s POV
After Roxas had left the bathroom I pitifully dragged myself closer to the toilet bowl and I immediately threw up. Let me tell you, emptying the contents of my stomach after having drank what I had earlier on, definitely felt good.
With unsteady legs I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was stuck to my face with my own sweat and my eyes had dark circles beneath them. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and moved the hair from my face. Sighing I sat myself down on the edge of the bathtub. I could hear Roxas and Larxene speaking faintly.
“What are you to him?” I heard Larxene say out of the blue.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me”
“… I’m just a friend” I heard him say uncertainly. What was there to be uncertain about?
I heard the sound of the front door slamming shut, and almost immediately after that the bathroom door shot open.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day, why didn’t you call?” she demanded with her arms folded across her chest.
“Was busy” I replied, as I unsteadily made my way past her and into the living room, promptly throwing myself to the couch.
“Don’t avoid me, I know that’s what you’ve been doing all day” She said, stalking right after me.
“Larx, my head is killing me, I don’t need shit from you right now” I groaned into the couch cushions.
“Oh, but its ok for you to grill me when I come back from drinking” she argued.
I looked at her disbelievingly. “You’re kidding right?” I questioned. Her face was dead serious. “Larx I only call you out on it because you’re pregnant now, don’t you get it?” I snapped.
“I don’t know why you even care, it’s not like…” she stopped herself from speaking further.
“It’s not like, what?” I asked uncertainly.
“Nothing” she urged as she began to walk away from me.
“No, don’t pull that shit on me. What was the end of that sentence?” I questioned her, standing up and turning her to face me, my hands gripping both her arms. She refused to look me in the eyes. I could feel my world fall apart from underneath my feet.
“Please don’t say what I think is right. Please, please…” I begged. She turned her head away from me. My hands dropped from her arms and I backed away from her slowly, shaking my head.
“There’s a chance…” she began but I didn’t need to hear the rest.
“No! You made me believe you… you were pregnant with my kid! And now you’re saying it might not even be mine. You’re sick, Larxene.” I cried out, my hands gripping at my hair.
“I didn’t make you believe anything! You did that yourself! You’ve known for months about me ‘visiting my mother’ you must have known. I’ve made it so obvious. How could you not doubt this? You would have found this out earlier and under better circumstances had you come home when I asked you to!”
I felt physically sick being in the same room as her. I couldn’t live with this monster anymore. I couldn’t love this monster anymore.
I made my way to our bedroom and began packing some of her things.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a hint of almost fear in her voice.
“I’m packing your stuff. I can’t live with you after this!” I yelled at her disgustedly.
“You can’t throw me out, I’m pregnant!” She cried out. Oh, what a surprise. She suddenly cares now?
“And you can’t hold that over my head anymore. I’m kicking you out before I do something I regret. As much as I hate you right now I refuse to do anything that could harm your baby. You can stay at your mom’s or whoever it is that you’ve been fucking around with” I replied as I threw another item of her clothing into the suitcase.
Once I’d finished packing her things I held on to her arm and promptly began dragging her to the front door with her suitcase in tow.
“Fine!” she argued as she tried prying her arm from my hold. “I was going to leave you anyway. You’re a shit lay. You’re boring and I never loved you” That last part stung. I wasn’t going to deny it.
“I don’t have to take your shit anymore, Larxene. You’re somebody else’s problem now” and with that I slammed the door in her face. I heard her scream as she kicked the door. I kept my hands against the door until I was sure she was gone. When the hall outside was finally silent I turned my back against the door and slid down to the floor.
I cried out loudly, to the point that my lungs hurt and my throat burned. I knew this was inevitable. I knew that things would have come to this eventually. But I had no idea that it would hurt this much. I sobbed on the floor, tearing at my hair and hugging myself tightly until I passed out. And I was thankful that I had. I didn’t want to feel this pain anymore.
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