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I Miss You When You're Here	By : cdreaiton Category: +A through F > DRAMAtical Murder Views: 1314 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own, not do I make any money from DRAMAtical Murder or its characters.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 3
- 4
- 5
Please note:
"^words^" - Indicates Sly talking
"words" - Indicates Aoba talking
"<words>" - Indicates both Sly and Aoba talking together
"{words}" - Indicates Scrap
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All the pain and anguish and guilt that Koujaku had felt before talking with Sly had doubled and tripled after Sly had yelled at him. He had never thought of the two of them as being the same person. Sly was the aggressive leech that was suppressing Aoba and taking control, killing Aoba in the process. The idea that they were the same person had never occurred to him. And he had stood there, like the ass he was, and basically told Sly that he wished he was dead. That he wished Aoba was dead.
Koujaku could barely breathe. He thought he loved Aoba, all of Aoba. But his disregard of Sly, and Sly resulting tirade, had made him rethink his feelings. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Aoba, he did. Immensely and deeply. It was Sly that he had a hard time with. He didn’t know if he could accept Sly and be with him the same way he was Aoba.
Before he had a chance to think too much on it, there was a knock on the apartment door. Koujaku bolted from his seat and raced to the front door, throwing it open. The person on the other side jumped in surprise. It was Kou, one of the members of Beni Shigure. He spoke in an urgent whisper, relaying his information quickly.
Koujaku’s eyes widened in shock and horror at what Kou had to say. He threw on his shoes, grabbed his sword, and flew down the street, with Kou following right behind him.
------------------
It was still early in the morning, and the streets were nearly empty. Aoba hugged his arms around himself, still recovering from his breakdown at Noiz’s. He hated letting people see him cry. Noiz had been very kind about it though. He hadn’t asked any questions, he just let Aoba cry until he was done. And then, he’d walked Aoba to the door, glaring at his team and daring them to say something. Just before he’d left, Noiz had placed a hand on Aoba’s cheek and forced him to look him in the eyes.
“Fix it. If it can’t be fixed, leave. You’re too cute to stay with a guy who makes you cry.”
The look in Noiz’s eyes confused him. It was...almost warm. Just as suddenly as it had appeared, Noiz’s hand on his cheek disappeared and he went back into the Ruff Rabbit building, leaving Aoba standing in the back alley.
He hadn’t realized Noiz cared so much. Aoba smiled softly to himself. [He’s such a good friend.] Brushing the thought of Noiz out of his mind, Aoba turned towards home. It was time to fix this.
As he walked towards the apartment, he passed the Beni Shigure hang out, and was surprised to see nearly everyone inside. It was too early for a meeting or a fight. Fearing that something had happened to Koujaku, Aoba rushed inside. When they saw Aoba, everyone turned and faced him, mouths slightly agape.
“What’s going on? Why is everyone here so early? Did something happen?” Aoba looked around for Koujaku frantically, but he wasn’t there.
“Aoba! Are you alright? Did that bastard hurt you?” Kou approached him slowly, concern and worry in his voice.
“What are you talking ab...out...?” Aoba’s mind connected the dots just as he finished his sentence. Noiz. Someone had seen him leaving Noiz’s place. Even now, Aoba’s face was streaked with tears and his hair was mussed. He looked like he’d been in a fight, or doing something else. And Noiz putting his hand on Aoba’s cheek before he left...Noiz’s shirt was still undone from his encounter with Sly. All the blood left Aoba’s face. “Where’s Koujaku?” His voice was barely audible.
“He took a couple of the guys and left for Ruff Rabbit about 15 minutes ago. Don’t worry. He’s gonna kill that little shit for daring to lay a hand on you.” The other members of Beni Shigure nodded their approval of Kou’s statement.
Aoba’s knees nearly gave out on him. He bolted back out the door and was sprinting back to Noiz’s before he even knew he was moving. The voice in the back of his mind was trying to push forward, take control, but Aoba kept him back. He couldn’t afford to lose control now. If he did… He didn’t want to think about what would happen if he did. Aoba pushed all thought of his other half into the back of his mind, and ran like his life depended on it.
---------------------------
The Ruff Rabbit hang out was in chaos. Aoba, darted and weaved through the different fights, looking desperately for a flash of green or red, but there were too many people in his way. If he didn’t find Noiz and Koujaku soon… Something clicked in Aoba’s head.
“{Stop. Now.} Aoba’s voice sounded strange to his ears.
Everyone in the room froze in place, punches and kicks hanging in limbo. With the room now still, Aoba could see that neither Koujaku nor Noiz was there. He glanced at the ceiling. There was only one other place they could be. Heading for the stairs, Aoba hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t be too late.
He wasn’t. Noiz and Koujaku were in the center of the large entertainment room, fighting. A familiar fear rose in Aoba’s chest as he saw the look in Koujaku’s eyes. He’d thrown his kimono off his shoulders, and it hung around his waist. Koujaku had drawn his blade at some point, and was brandishing it at Noiz. Luckily, Noiz was nimble enough to dodge it, but that wouldn’t last forever.
“Koujaku! Koujaku!!! {Koujaku!!! Stop!!!}” Aoba felt his voice change again.
The blade swung down and froze just as Noiz jumped out of its reach. Noiz’s fixed Aoba with a blank stare, breathing heavily. Aoba ran up to Koujaku and put his hand on the arm holding the sword. Staring into Koujaku’s eyes, full of blood lust, he slowly began to speak.
“Koujaku? It’s me, Aoba. See, I’m just fine? Noiz didn’t do anything to me. Would you put the sword away? Please?” Aoba kept his voice soft, not wanting to trigger Koujaku any further.
Slowly, as though every miniscule motion took an intense effort, Koujaku lowered his sword and looked at Aoba. His eyes began to clear as his senses returned.
“Aoba? Aoba!” Koujaku dropped the sword and pulled Aoba into his arms, holding him tight. Disregarding the fact that he couldn’t breathe, Aoba relaxed into Koujaku’s crushing hold.
After a few seconds, Koujaku seemed to come to his senses a second time and pulled away from Aoba suddenly. Confused and concerned, Aoba looked back up at Koujaku’s face. Guilt and fear swept across it, and Aoba could see Koujaku shaking slightly.
“Are you okay?” Koujaku asked suddenly. When Aoba nodded, Koujaku continued. “Is he okay?”
Aoba bristled slightly at the mention of his other half. His alternate personality. The person who’d spent so many years tormenting and torturing people, deriving pleasure from their pain. The dark part of his soul. He looked inside his mind and felt the other presence stir. Reaching out a mental hand, he beckoned the other him forward. The response was mixed. He wanted to come out, but he didn’t want Aoba to have to go back. Aoba understood. They needed to do this together. Coming back out of his head, Aoba turned to Noiz.
“Can you open a Rhyme field please? And include the three of us?”
Noiz didn’t answer with words, just nodded and pulled out his allmate and coil and got to work. A few seconds later, the familiar floating feeling signaled their entry into Noiz’s Rhyme field. Aoba beckoned again to the presence inside him and this time, he responded.
It was a strange sensation, like having a conversation when you’re half awake, or like watching yourself in a dream. He was there, in control of his mind and body, but so was the other him. They were both in control, and they both had something to say.
“<Koujaku.>” His voice seemed to reverberate. It was different from the way his scrap voice worked, although the feeling was similar.
Koujaku jerked at the strangeness of Aoba’s voice, but turned to him and met his eyes.
“Aoba.”
Without even having to discuss it, Sly came to the forefront of the shared mind and spoke first.
“^I am not going anywhere. I am my own person, but I am also Aoba. Without me, Aoba dies. Without Aoba, I die. But that doesn’t mean we have the same wants, the same needs, or the same desires. I want to go wild. I want to get smashed and then get fucked in the back alley. I need the thrill of putting my life on the line. I need the violence, I need the pain. Can you accept that?^”
Before Koujaku could respond, Aoba took back the control of the mind and spoke.
“I am not going anywhere. I am my own person, but I am also Sly. Without me, Sly dies. Without Sly, I die. But that doesn’t mean we have the same wants, the same needs, or the same desires. I want to sit under the cherry blossoms and talk for hours.. I want to hold your hand as you hold my body. I need to hear you tell me you love me, over and over. I need the passion, I need the warmth. Can you accept that?”
“<Can you accept us?>”
Koujaku blinked rapidly, trying to get his thoughts in order. Could he do it? Could he accept the part of Aoba that was Sly? His thoughts were a mess as he went over what both of them had said again and again. Suddenly, his chaotic musings were interrupted.
“^I understand that I am not the person you love. I’m a stranger, the exact opposite of everything that you understood to be Aoba. I will not go away. I can’t. But I can make this promise. I won’t interfere. I will leave you and ‘Aoba’ alone. But in return you must do something for me. During those times when I am out and in control, you can’t shun me. You can’t tell me to go away or yell at me for taking your boyfriend away. I will not actively attempt to take over when you are with ‘him’, but if and when I do come out, you must treat me like a person, like a human being, and spend the time you would have been spending with him, with me instead. Can you accept that?^”
It was the only way this would work, and Koujaku knew it. If he rejected Sly, he would lose Aoba. And if Sly truly was a part of Aoba, and Koujaku loved Aoba...then he could love Sly too. And he would. Maybe not in the way Sly himself would want, but that didn’t really matter right now. What mattered was conveying his love to Aoba, and in turn, to Sly.
“I can. I promise I won’t push you away or treat you like a parasite anymore.” Koujaku reached out a hand and brushed it lovingly across Sly’s cheek. “I will love both of you. Equally.”
Sly blushed for a moment before slapping Koujaku’s hand away in disgust.
“Tch. You are such a sap. I can’t believe I’m stuck with you.”
Koujaku grinned impishly at the insult, cocking his head a bit to the side.
“The feeling’s mutual.”
“Eh ehm.”
Koujaku and Sly turned around to see a set of green eyes glaring at them.
“Are you two done now? I’m about to hurl.” Noiz’s voice was as flat and unreadable as ever.
Aoba’s eyes flickered slightly as Sly relinquished control. He slid his hand into Koujaku’s and leaned his head against his arm.
“I’m beat. Let’s go home. Okay?”
When Koujaku looked down at Aoba, he felt instantly at ease. He knew that everything was going to be alright now. He lifted his unoccupied hand and brushed a lock of hair away from Aoba’s face.
“Sounds good.”
- 3
- 4
- 5
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I Miss You When You're Here