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Alphys' Bad School Day	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > UnderTale Views: 2293 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a very strictly non-profit fanwork with absolutely no intention of infringing upon the original work's copyright. The videogame Undertale and all of its respective characters belong exclusively to Toby Fox and his affiliates.

Chapter List
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CHAPTER 4
AFTER ALPHYS AND THE GANG HAD FINALLY FINISHED GOING OVER ALL OF THE CRAZY SH%# THAT THEY HAD JUST BEEN THROUGH AT LUNCH...
"Greetings...everyone...I'll be your new...cooking teacher...for the year...oh no..." Napstablook, who was now temporarily inhabiting his Mettaton-EX-like robot body, greeted the class miserably as he meekly, exhaustedly waved his hand at them and slowly got up out of his chair.
"Oh, for the love of f^#%, please don't tell me there's going to be even MORE of that f%#^ing VR s#& !" Alphys growled in frustration, gently banging her head against the desk and sobbing.
"Luckily...not...thank god..." Napstablook sighed as he went over to the cabinets and slowly but surely began getting out all of the required tools and ingredients for the cooking procedures.
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Okay...I'm done..." Napstablook moaned as he FINALLY finished setting up all of the equipment atop the table, reluctantly beckoning everyone to come over and begin throwing stuff together.
"YAY!" all of the students jumped for joy, leaping out of their seats and bolting right over to the kitchen tables in a fit of excitement! "FINALLY, SOMETHING THAT'S ACTUALLY REAL AND NOT VIRTUALLY SCRIPTED!"
"Alright, so...you'll be making a cake...you'll need...cups of butter...flour...sugar...frosting...icing...fish-shaped crackers...Nutella...wedding decorations...blah...blah...blah..." Napstablook began pointlessly rambling.
"Just so you guys know, he's never going to stop, okay?" Mettaton leaned in through the doorway and reminded the students as they all glared angrily at him in response.
"Well, in that case...let's make things INTERESTING! GWEHEHEHEHE!" Muffet cackled mischievously, rubbing her hands together evilly and licking her lips as she glanced over at Alphys.
"Oh, don't you freaking DARE!" Undyne warned her, brandishing her spear at her.
"gUYS! TeMMiE iS gETTiNG vERy HuNGRy!" Temmie whined and pouted miserably.
"What the f%#& is even my purpose in this story?" Frisk groaned, facepalming himself.
"To keep all of the other characters from feeling BONELY, I suppose?" Sans shrugged.
"Honestly, I've got nothing...well, aside from NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus laughed for literally no apparent reason, patting both Frisk and Sans on the back and chuckling awkwardly.
"You know, speaking of BONELY..." Burgerpants leaned over and teased Catty, who then responded by immediately slapping him upside the face. "Ow, what was THAT for?"
"Nyeh heh heh..." Papyrus chuckled under his breath.
"Alright, now it's time for us to FINALLY get right down to business and make this cake the BEST cake that has EVER been made!" Papyrus laughed, holding his finger straight up in the air and posing heroically while everyone around him just awkwardly stared at him.
"Alright, so, first we add the chocolate cake mix..." Alphys sighed, walking over to the pantry, pulling out the cake mix that literally everyone else in the classroom had somehow completely forgotten about, and pouring it into the large plastic bowl that Napstablook had just set on the table.
"And then we add the FLOUR..." Papyrus chuckled as he poured the flour on top of the cake mix while it was still in the bowl, having no idea whether or not that was actually the right order.
"And then we add the KETCHUP AND MUSTARD!" Burgerpants yelled spastically as he pulled out bottles of said condiments from the cabinets (one of each condiment for each hand, obviously) and poured copiously large amounts of each into the mix.
"Oh, and while we're at it, let's not forget the GUMMY WORMS!" Muffet cackled as she pulled out a large bag of blood-flavored gummy worms from her pockets and dumped it right in.
"And...the sugar...obviously..." Napstablook groaned as he slowly but surely poured in an extremely excessive amount of sugar to add that little extra pinch of flavor into the mix.
"Let's not forget the SHREDDED-UP UNDERTAIL FANART!" Undyne laughed maniacally, taking the remains of her insertion of several results from searching her future self up on Google Images into the local paper shredder, ripping them up viciously, and sprinkling them in without a second thought.
"oR ThE tEMMiE fLaKEs!" Temmie giggled as she playfully pulled out a whole bunch of Temmie Flakes (in other words, shredded bits of construction paper) and sprinkled them in frantically.
"Well, I suppose if we're going to add the ketchup and mustard, then we might as well add some RELISH while we're at it!" Sans snickered snidely as he grabbed a jar of relish out of the cabinets and excitedly shoveled the soggy green slime into the bowl with his hands.
"Now for the eggs..." Frisk sighed, rolling their eyes as they cracked them open and poured them in, unable to believe that this was seriously being added as the second-to-last ingredient.
"And last but not least, how's about some good old-fashioned chocolate-flavored POTATO chips?" Catty laughed as she took out a bag of...please tell me this is a typo...chocolate-flavored potato chips from the pantry and scooped some out into the bowl.
"And now for the coup-de-grace; exactly 1.5346281754893267-"
"GODDAMNIT, PAPYRUS, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Sans yelled at Papyrus, snatching the measuring cup out of his hands, filling it up to exactly two cups of water with the faucet, and pouring it into the bowl. "See? You SEE how much freaking easier that is?!"
"Now MIX IT!" Alphys screamed in Frisk's ear as she handed them an egg beater.
"Wow...how incredibly...messy..." Napstablook sighed as Frisk blankly stared at the disgusting, slimy and profoundly putrid mishmash of random food ingredients that was currently splattering all over their face while everyone else gawked in amazement at it.
"Gosh, what an utterly ASTONISHING work of culinary art! Why, I could just KISS it! EEE!" Papyrus squealed with joy, tossing in some finely aged, silken spaghetti noodles from his pocket just to add that certain special Papyrus charm to it as Napstablook inserted...whatever the hell this jumbled pile of slop was supposed to be...into the oven somewhat disgustedly.
"Oh, well...at least you...made SOMETHING...for Toriel's and Asgore's marriage..." Napstablook sighed, moping his way over to the bathroom and locking himself inside for crying purposes.
"Something for WHAT?!" all nine of the students screamed and put their hands over their mouths in terror. "Oh god, what are we going to do, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"
A FEW MINUTES LATER, AT THE GYM...
"Okay, let's just forget about that absolute culinary disaster we threw together in cooking class, let's just have fun now!" Papyrus laughed as the very first basketball game of the year began.
The teams were arranged as follows:
The blue team, which was on the left side of the court, was comprised of Alphys, Sans, Papyrus, Frisk and Burgerpants.
The red team, which was on the right side, was comprised of Undyne, Catty, Muffet, Temmie and...Gaster?!
"Greetings, young apprentices; I have arrived." Gaster chuckled as the ball was served into the middle of the field; sure enough, Sans was the very first person to grab it!
"Brother, I'm right here! Pass it to me! PASS IT TO ME!" Papyrus yelled to get Sans' attention as the latter was surrounded on all sides by Muffet, Gaster and Temmie!
"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" Sans laughed as he used his telekinetic powers to hurl the ball straight to Papyrus...but alas, it was intercepted in midair by Undyne!
"HALT! Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING gets past the great PAPYRUS!" Papyrus laughed cockily as he tackled Undyne onto the ground and engaged in a bone-to-spear fight against her over the ball, ironically knocking said ball right out of their grip!
"HA! GOTCHA!" Alphys laughed as she caught the ball with her tail and spun around in a circle, hitting the surrounding Catty, Muffet and Temmie right in the face with it and sending them flying backwards from the impact as she scooped it up into her hands!
"wHO iS ThE mASTeR WHo MaKEs TeMMiE's GRaSS gREEn?" Temmie slurred dizzily, twirling around in a circle and collapsing unconsciously onto the floor as her eyes cartoonishly swirled around in circles. (Hint: Catty and Muffet pretty much did the exact same.)
"HA! Here comes the COOL CAT, sucka!" Burgerpants chuckled as he did a frontflip right over Alphys and somehow snatched the ball right out of her hands in mid-flip...only to then immediately get grabbed by the tail and slammed into the floor face-first BY Alphys!
"I...deserved that..." Burgerpants weakly held his finger up and grunted before passing out; meanwhile, Undyne had already managed to beat both Papyrus AND Frisk unconscious as she charged straight toward her beloved lizard girlfriend with all of her astonishing might!
"SO LONG, MY GAY WEEABOO FRIEND!" Undyne laughed as she grabbed Alphys by the tail, swung her around and around at the speed of sound, and hurled her straight into the nearest wall, where she then ended up bouncing off several walls with the ball held tightly in her outsretched arms before finally coming right back to Undyne and htting her so hard that it sent her and Alphys herself flying all the way through the brick wall between the red-team goal on the right side of the court and into the corresponding locker room for said team!
"Alright, looks like it's about time we had ourselves a tiebreaker." Sans sighed as he pulled the ball out from the massive hole that Alphys and Undyne had just left in the wall while the two of them were scooped up onto a stretcher bed by Nice Cream Guy and Bratty and hauled off to the nurse's office.
"Birds are singing...flowers are blooming-"
"Oh, for God's sake, ENOUGH with that sh#%!" Gaster groaned, rolling his eyes. "Are we going to finally settle this surprisingly heated conflict amongst ourselves, or aren't we?"
Realizing that he stood absolutely no chance against someone as tall (and as powerful) as Gaster in a fair match of one-on-one basketball, Sans simply...surrendered?
"Go ahead and take the ball. Hell, you can even make yourself a slam dunk for all I care. Seriously, I give up, you win, alright? Just do it. Don't let your dreams be dreams, okay?" Sans snickered and winked snidely at his father as he dropped the ball nonchalantly onto the ground and stepped away from it.
"Ugh...FINE..." Gaster groaned as he reluctantly picked the ball up the floor, rapidly sprinted his way to the blue-team goal all the way over on the opposite side of the court and jumped as high as he could into the air in preparation for a backboard-shattering slam dunk, when suddenly...
"PSYCHE!" Sans snickered trollishly at Gaster, teleporting right up in front of him, kicking him right in the crotch and stealing his ball literally RIGHT at the exact moment when he was about to dunk it!
"GET DUNKED ON!" Sans laughed hysterically as he then teleported all the way back over to Gaster's side of the court while still in midair and used his telekinetic powers to dunk the ball right into the net so hard that it caused the entire glass backboard behind the hoop to shatter!
"You really ARE quite the douche at times, you know that?" Gaster groaned, patting Sans on the head while the fat little skeleton rolled on the floor laughing himself to tears at his own father's expense.
"I am, and I LOVE it!" Sans laughed as Gaster irritatedly walked out of the gym, telekinetically dragging Sans along behind him into the next-period classroom...his very own Biology lab!
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Alphys' Bad School Day