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I See Alphys, I See Francis	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > UnderTale Views: 1982 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The video game Undertale and all of its respective characters and settings belong exclusively to Toby Fox and his affiliates. This is a non-profit fanwork with no intention of infringing on said copyright.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
ISAISF: PART 4
Needless to say, the minute Francis woke up, Alphys immediately dragged him straight into the locker room shower and...well, made out with him in the shower; again, what did you expect?
"OHH...Alphys, honey, you're literally everything I've always wanted to be..." Francis lovingly whispered into Alphys' ear as the two of them playfully splashed water and seductively lathered body wash all over their naked lizard bodies whilst wrapping themselves tightly in each other's warm, sweet, literally hugging embrace. "You're smart, funny, sexy, actually a good f%#&ing character..."
"And who says you can't be the SAME, darling?" Alphys teasingly whispered back, lovingly smooching Francis on the cheek and causing him to blush adorably with embarrassment as the two of them rubbed bars of soap into each other's nasty armpits, causing Francis himself to wince in utter revulsion as he pulled his out from his armpit and saw it almost completely covered in sweaty nasty hair.
"Um...basically EVERYONE in your fandom, as far as I'm concerned?" Francis sighed dejectedly, hanging his head in shame as he lathered conditioning shampoo onto his head (yes, despite not actually having hair up there at all) and rinsed it off while Alphys systematically did the exact same.
"Well...alright, look, it's really none of my business, but really, who CARES what those creeps think, you know what I'm saying? They don't make you what you are, YOU do! You ARE what you CHOOSE to be, so JUST! DO IT! MAKE! YOUR DREAMS! COME TRUE! GODDAMNIT, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!" Alphys suddenly began motivationally shouting at Francis, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him violently as hot-water-induced steam billowed in heaping portions from their lovingly mingling bodies, inexplicably forming an almost perfectly heart-shaped cloud right above them...and in that very specific moment, Francis knew how much he and Alphys, deep down, really did just absolutely love each other to death.
"Alphys, I just want you to know that you're the only true love I've ever had outside of anime and Internet roleplaying; seriously, it's as if you're literally my sister from another mother!" Francis giggled and snorted with delight as he finally turned the temperature knob all the way back down from whence it came and shut the shower clean off, leaving the two of them soaked and dripping with soapy, watery love.
"Hmm...so, does this basically mean that you would literally put yourself into a borderline-pedophilic incestuous relationship with me without hesitation if that were actually the case?" Alphys asked Francis nervously, shuddering a little as he wrapped his tongue tightly around her, lifted her up in front of his dorky, pustulent face and wetly, sloppily smooched her with his lips.
"Of course, my little darling, of COURSE!" Francis laughed merrily as he set Alphys back down onto the floor while the poor girl twitched her eyelids and gagged ever-so-slightly from the numerous profoundly disgusting mental images that the creepy asshole had just brought into her mind as he lovingly patted her on the head and stroked her like a fluffy little neko-kitten.
Needless to say, the rest of their afternoon in Snowdin from there on out was quite the fun one.
ABOUT A HALF-HOUR LATER, AT THE LOCAL SNOWDIN FOREST LAKE...
"Damnit, I never thought that FISHING, of all things, could be so ridiculously freaking HARD! Why does Zelda always make everything look so goddamned EASY?" Francis groaned and growled frustratedly, gritting his teeth with rage as he brandished his fishing pole angrily and threw his clearly baited hook, line and sinker into the water for what felt like at least the millionth time in the past fifteen minutes...but alas, he was so incredibly gross and ugly, even AFTER finally taking his much-needed shower, that none of the fish even WANTED to go anywhere near him!
"Well, tough luck, I suppose...honestly, I'm barely even getting any fish on MY line myself!" Alphys sighed and shrugged, reeling her hook back and forth in utter boredom and disappointment. "Let's just hope one of these things has an unbearable NERD fetish of some sort..."
"Say, s-SPEAKING of w-which, l-look what I f-found swimming around in here!" Francis stammered in terror as he suddenly pulled up the fearsome Undyne from out of the lake!
"HEY, WHAT THE HELL'S THE BIG IDEA HERE?!" Undyne yelled furiously at both of them, her nostrils flaring as she bit down hard on Francis' hook and was flung into the boat from there.
"Also, WHY am I so horrifyingly turned-on right now? I...I feel like such a total shameless cuck..." Undyne shuddered awkwardly and thought to herself, blushing with ironically flattered embarrassment as Alphys and Francis both wrapped their wimpy little arms around her amazingly tall and strong yet laughably shrimpy and scrawny little fish body and hugged her, wrapping their tongues tightly around her in opposite directions and french-kissing each other lovingly in the process.
ABOUT TEN MINUTES LATER, AT THE LOCAL SNOWDIN TOWN (N)ICE CREAM SHOP...
"Greetings, my wonderful customers! Please do tell; what flavor of gooey, creamy and OHH-so-sticky-and-sweet bliss would you like to get yourselves this fine afternoon?" Nice Cream Guy asked Alphys and Francis, stroking his fluffy bunny ears adorably as he reached down and grabbed his trusty scoop and a pair of ice cream cones from the cabinets behind the counter.
"OOH, OOH, ANIME FLAVOR, ANIME FLAVOR!" Alphys and Francis hopped up and down and begged him like a pair of hungry, starving dogs, causing him to roll his eyes and facepalm is response.
"Sorry, cutie-pies, but I'm afraid that there IS no such thing as anime-flavored nice cream!" Nice Cream Guy shrugged his shoulders and sighed while Alphys and Francis hung their heads in disappointment.
"AW, COME ON, PWETTY PWEEEASE?" Alphys and Francis crooned and squeaked adorably, squeezing out fake tears, poofing out their lips and glaring at him with twinkling, glistening anime puppy-dog eyes while he tried not to let his heart melt from how sickeningly cute they were.
"Okay, FINE, Alphys, you can have your stinking chocolate-strawberry nice cream!" Nice Cream Guy groaned reluctantly, reaching into the choco-strawberry nice cream vat with his scoop, scooping out two nice big scoops into Alphys' cone and handing it to her while she manually deposited exactly 50 gold from the bank account on her phone into his own as payment.
"Now, as for YOU, on the other hand, I have a VERY special surprise for you!" Nice Cream Guy pointed over at Francis and whispered creepily to him in a profoundly rapey voice tone.
"OOH, PLEASE TELL ME IT'S A SECRET ANIME GIRL STRIP CLUB DOWN IN YOUR BASEMENT!" Francis danced around and squealed fangirlishly, prompting everyone in the entire restaurant to glare at them in confusion while Nice Cream Guy just rolled his eyes.
"OH, no, my dear friend; I've got something even BETTER planned for YOU!" Nice Cream Guy laughed with a big smile and a wink as he grabbed Francis by the arm and dragged him out the back door.
"Gee, I sure WONDER what that surprise might be?" Alphys glared and winked sassily and teasingly at the readers, crossing her legs and licking and sucking seductively on her ice-cream cone like the overglorified lollipop that it was while Nice Cream Guy began moaning loudly outside.
TWO MINUTES LATER, OUT BACK, RIGHT NEXT TO THE DUMPSTER...
"OHH, YEAH, you f%#&ing ugly big-lipped motherf#%^er, suck that damned Nice Cream cone like you suck your mother's rotten saggy TEATS!" Nice Cream Guy moaned, blushed, panted and drooled intensely as Francis puckered his lips into a nearly perfect circle right around the spongy, veiny, formerly cocaine-coated shaft of his penis and lovingly sucked and sucked and licked like there was no tomorrow; yes, indeed, everyone in this scene was still fully clothed somehow...well, except for the fact that Nice Cream Guy had pulled down his pants, obviously.
"Mmm...this is without a doubt the absolute most deliciously plump and moldy SAUSAGE I've ever had in my entire fatass lazy weeaboo LIFE!" Alphys moaned with delight as she crawled face-up and backwards through the gap between Francis' legs, licked his hairy scaly balls, and deepthroated his big green dick so forcefully that it caused her to throw up half of the nice cream that she just eaten all over his gargantuan horse cock while he moaned and squealed and squeaked and whinnied with pleasure as he began sucking Nice Cream Guy's dick even harder.
"What you are about is experience is undoubtedly the absolute greatest, most delicious Nice Cream flavor IN THE WHOLE GODDAMNED WORRRLD!" Nice Cream Guy shrieked orgasmically as his dick spasmed and gushed out almost half a cup of...AHEM...vanilla-flavored Nice Cream (presumably how the regular Nice Cream, the Underground's equivalent to ice cream, secretly got its name) right down Francis' throat in a great big...well, waterfall (sigh).
"MmmMMMMMFFF!" Francis licked his lips and hummed with delight, then suddenly grunted orgasmically in surprise as his dick climaxed and shot out a full eight-ounce cup of sweaty lizard sperm into Alphys' slutty, buck-toothed mouth, causing her to moan and blush with delight.
"CHECK, please!" Alphys sprung right back up onto her feet and laughed smarmily while Francis and Nice Cream Guy gave each other a high-five of reluctant but wholesome approval.
ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, IN WATERFALL...
"So tell me, Francis, where exactly DID you come from, if you don't mind me asking?" Alphys asked Francis curiously, the two of them having already taken off their jackets and reverted back into their regular outfits to accomodate for the sudden rise in temperature as they erotically walked barefoot across (the first half of) the massive precipice bridge where King Asgore's castle could very clearly and famously be seen glowing by crystal-light (which, of course, was exactly what the entire area was illuminated by) off in the vast distance.
"Well, the Mario universe, for one thing...but more specifically, I actually LIVE in a very special and weird place called the Bitlands, where literally everything except for the animals and people looks like it was literally ripped straight out of an NES (or maybe SNES if you're being generous) game!" Francis explained, blissfully unaware of the fact that (first of all) most of the people in his universe, not to mention Undertale's, already WERE technically animals, and (second of all) he had basically just exactly described the art style of the game that he was currently in, only with "Omega Flowey and some of the special effects" replaced with "people and animals".
"Hey, look, it's Walt Disney's, I mean, Asgore's castle!" Alphys tapped Francis on the shoulder and excitedly showed him as the two of them sat down side-by-side and gazed upon the colossally towering structure's intimidatingly majestic and regal beauty together.
"Ooh, is it full of hypersexualized anime women and giant robots?! PLEASE TELL ME IT IS!" Francis squealed excitedly, bouncing and fidgeting about and wiggling his toes wildly with frenetic energy from the cocaine that he had just recently snorted off of Nice Cream Guy's firmly e-shreked penis.
"Um...WELL...let's talk about that LATER, okay?" Alphys stammered and blushed embarrassedly, biting her nails and sweating intensely as she struggled internally to suppress her unrelenting multitude of dirty thoughts about Toriel and Mettaton...the latter of which was actually her own creation, and thus technically her own son; seriously, what in the actual f%#&?
"Anyway, as you could clearly see earlier, I live in what can only described as Hotland...well, at least, when someone as bad at naming things as King Asgore is the one doing the describing, that is!" Alphys chuckled, choking on all of the lizard cum that she had just recently swallowed and reluctantly clearing her throat as she continued speaking.
"Basically, if you've ever seen Norfair and Magmoor in the Metroid series, it's pretty much just a more futuristic version of the latter, minus all of the weird alien sh%#!" Alphys explained while Francis just scratched his head in confusion and struggled to remember what those two areas looked like because all he really knew extensively about Nintendo was Mario, Zelda, Pokémon, Fire Emblem, Earthbound, Smash Bros and Xenoblade (IE all of their big meme franchises).
"Umm...what do Magmoor and Norfair look like, exactly?" Francis asked Alphys curiously, scratching his chin and almost-but-not-quite having good-enough taste in video games to remember what she was talking about.
"TAKE. A WILD. FREAKING. GUESS." Alphys growled though clenched teeth as she roughly grabbed Francis by the arm and dragged him over to the one and only major blockage on the road to Hotland...an approximately eight-foot-high rock wall that really served only as an excuse to make Monster Kid actually useful for something in the official Undertale game.
"Come on, get on my hairy, sweaty, grotesquely hunchbacked weeaboo shoulders!" Francis ran over to the wall and beckoned welcomingly to Alphys...which, coming from anyone else, probably would have sounded sarcastic, but Francis made it sound dignified somehow.
"WRONG ORDER, pal; YOU'RE supposed to be the one going first here, you idiot!" Alphys walked over to him and scolded him, gently smacking him across the face to rustle some sense into him.
"DURR...UH...WHY?" Francis drooled like an idiot, causing Alphys to groan and facepalm herself...especially since she had actually seen, in person, how big of a brain was really being stored in Francis' head; clearly, he was just too much of a sad lazy f%#& to actually properly apply himself into society...and no, I totally wasn't thinking of Sans when writing that description.
"Because you weigh FOUR HUNDRED FREAKING POUNDS and would probably stand somewhere around at least SEVEN GODDAMNED FEET TALL if you weren't constantly f%#&ing HUNCHED OVER all the goddamned time, you motherf%#&ing, cock-sucking, sh%#-licking ASS-for-brains!" Alphys grabbed Francis by the left corner of his shirt collar and hissed lividly into his corresponding ear.
"You mean if I stood up straight like THIS?" Francis chuckled, straightening his back and standing (surely enough) whopping seven feet tall as he clambered up over the wall with his (oddly) handsomely skinny and spindly arms and legs, involuntarily lifting up his curly tail and fully exposing his bare, scaly-smooth ass, thighs and soles to her in the process...which, of course, caused Alphys to shriek in sudden arousal as blood violently sprayed and leaked in copious amounts from her nose!
"OHH, what a lovely, DREAMY view..." Alphys blushed and crooned adorably, wiping the resulting leak of nose blood off of her face embarrassedly with her sleeve and plugging her nostrils up with tissues as she walked over to Francis and reached her stubby little arms straight up toward him with an adorkably buck-toothed, nerdy and blushy smile on her face.
"After YOU, sweetie-pie!" Francis laughed merrily, squatting down on his knees like a frog, reaching down, grabbing Alphys' adorable hands with his own, and lifting her up onto the literally higher ground up above, where he was standing!
"So tell me, honey; what would you like to do with me next? Besides F%#&ING me, that is? Umm...HONEY?! What in the actual unholy f%#& is wrong with you, might I add?!" Alphys pulled out her iPhone from her lab-coat pockets and asked Francis (who was stalkerishly tiptoeing along behind him with hands clenched, fingers wiggling and tongue licking lipslike a total pedophile) as the two of them crossed Waterfall's infamous wooden bridge maze using the world-class GPS app on Alphys' phone...which, of course, eventually ended up leading them into an outright dead end, followed by a ridiculously long pitfall onto an oddly-specifically-placed bed of flowers in the local Waterfall garbage dump, breaking their fall in just about the most unrealistic way since Final Fantasy VII.
"Darling, I'll have you know that there's nothing wrong with me; I'm just taking a walk on the WILD side of the Internet for a change!" Francis laughed, patting Alphys on the back and then suddenly tackling her headfirst onto the ground and french-kissing her all the way into her throat with his tongue while she borderline-involuntarily did the exact same to him in a fit of pure, unrequited, and perhaps even more-than-mildly narcissistic love and adoration for him.
"I love you..." Alphys whispered romantically into Francis' ear, nibbling teasingly at his quills.
"I know..." Francis sighed, cradling Alphys in his arms like a sweet little baby and kissing her.
"Of course you do, senpai, of COURSE you do..." Alphys blushed and whispered lovingly to Francis, slinking up behind him, climbing up his still-mildly-hunched back and sinking her big dorky buck teeth deeply into the back of his shoulder; so deeply, in fact, that she ended up piercing the skin and drawing fatty cholesterol-loaded blood, which she then proceed to passionately, gluttonously suck from the gushing wounds like a weeaboo vampire!
"GYAHHHH!" Francis shrieked and yelped in pain, clutching his right shoulder with his opposite hand and desperately trying with all of his might to pull his maniacally, terrifyingly obsessive new lover off of his violently bleeding shoulder, which she was clinging to more tightly than a hungry tick with superglue on its legs. "Good god, was going inside my f%#&ing HEAD, taking control over my body and publicly humiliating the unholy BEJEEZUS out of me over at Sans' house REALLY not enough Francis-torturing for one day of your sad stinking weeaboo LIFE?!"
"NYAH!" Alphys giggled and blushed adorably evilly, digging her claws even deeper into Francis' skin as the poor guy lightheadedly trudged his way through numerous piles of strewn-about garbage with the lovably psychotic little crackhead in tow...when suddenly, in one particular pile of garbage near the dump's exit, he came across a rather suspicious-looking (not to mention sickeningly cutesy and colorful) anime DVD case titled Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2, with pathetically desperate claw-marks that looked very, VERY much like Alphys' covering its edges.
"Umm...I c-can explain!" Alphys laughed and blushed embarrassedly as she finally removed her teeth from Francis' now-aching-and-tender shoulder and began massaging it lovingly with her hands.
"You don't need to explain; I've already seen WAY more than I needed to!" Francis groaned, sighed and facepalmed himself, shaking his head disappointedly at Alphys' extreme impudence and ironic lack of proper respect for Japanese pop culture, with Alphys dorkily smooching him on the shoulder and climbing back down onto her adorable little feet as she and Francis went around the next U-Turn into basically the very same fast-travel area that he and Alphys had previously used to get to Snowdin, where the Riverperson was standing sternly atop her dog-boat, crossing her arms and angrily glaring at them with grim-reaperishly hooded eyes.
"Look, I'm sorry for almost eating you earlier, okay?" Francis explained to the riverperson, hanging his head regretfully and blushing in shame as he gently placed his hand atop Alphys' chubby little head and stroked her quills like the warm, fluffy fur of a kitten.
"Trust me, this little miniature me here has actually been teaching me quite a few things that I never previously knew about myself since then; can you PLEASE just find it in your heart to forgive me?" Francis got down on his knees, put his hands into prayer position and desperately begged the riverperson like a dog, crying and blubbering like a baby whilst doing so.
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF- NO! JUST NO! NOW GO AWAY AND SHUT UP BEFORE I FREAKING STAB YOU!" the riverperson finally snapped, tackled Francis face-up onto the ground in a fit of unbridled rage and yelled furiously at him, pulling out a knife from her robe pockets and threatening to slit Francis' almost-nonexistent neck with it.
"PWEEEASE?" Alphys pounced onto the Riverperson, tackled her onto the ground in a fit of panic and cloyingly squeaked like a baby mouse as she poofed out her lips, puffed up her already-chubby cheeks and stared directly into the poor reaper's SOUL with her adorably sparkling puppy-dog eyes.
"Ugh...FINE..." the riverperson groaned, rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out in revulsion from how disgustingly cute Alphys could be at times as the three of them filed into their seats and yelled out the magic word ABRACADOGRA, causing the dog-boat to immediately take off yipping and barking all the way over to Hotland, where the adorkable lizard nerds disembarked and finally headed back home with the yellow one warmly and gently cradled in the green one's loving arms.
"OPEN SESAME!" Francis commanded the front door to Alphys' lab, causing it to raise itself right open as the poor guy handsomely waltzed right in and set Alphys down on the floor.
"Hey, wait a minute, honey, where the hell are you going?" Francis gasped in surprise as Alphys rudely snatched the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 DVD case out of his hands and took off running all the way across the lab, where she then took the escalator up onto the second floor while Francis followed along confusedly behind her.
"I'm going to set things RIGHT between us, is what I'm going to do!" Alphys chuckled merrily as she reluctantly put her newly recovered Mew Mew 2 DVD case back into its original place right next to the vastly superior Mew Mew 1 on her anime-DVD-collection...oh, pardon me, I meant to say HUMAN HISTORY shelf and hastily ran over to her wardrobe to change herself.
"I'm going to show you my true COLORS!" Alphys chuckled as she unbuttoned her lab coat and threw it right off, revealing her gorgeously curvaceous and scaly-smooth body (with plump, rounded buttcheeks and lovely, bulbous breasts to match) and nakedly twirling around and dancing for Francis' amusement as she decided which copy of her polka-dotted black dress to wear for their obligatory evening dinner date.
"Wait, you don't know what you're DOING...well, besides making my freaking NOSE bleed like crazy, that is!" Francis stammered nervously as he suddenly uncontrollably sprayed a metric crapton of blood from his nose, blushing deeply and covering his intensely dripping nosebleed with his hand while Alphys pulled out the least dirty of her dresses and slipped it right on!
"Alright, so...how do I look, sweetie-kins?" Alphys crossed her legs and asked Francis teasingly, fluttering her eyelashes seductively at him while he just nodded his head, stuffed his nose with tissues and gave the somewhat uncomfortably sexy lizard lass two great-big thumbs up in loving approval.
"Like a crossdressing fatass man-whore that suddenly grew lady parts and turned into the absolute hottest goddamned thing I think I've ever seen in my sad and miserable life." Francis replied as Alphys took him by the finger and dragged him down the (other) escalator with her.
"Now that's EXACTLY what I like to hear!" Alphys laughed and smirked mischievously (but ultimately well-intentionedly), grateful that someone had finally GENUINELY complimented her for something truly meaningful other than how cute she was as she and Francis walked right out her front door together, took a sharp right turn at the intersection and headed straight up (one of) the Hotland elevator(s), where they then made their way straight into the world-renowned MTT Resort!
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I See Alphys, I See Francis