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20,000 Leagues Under the Sea	By : ShigeSato Category: +S through Z > World of Warcraft Views: 997 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The locations and some of the spells and characters described herein belong to Activision Blizzard. I do not own World of Warcraft and I make no money from this work.

Chapter List
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The next few days passed in a haze of anxiousness, panic and unbearable hunger for Farlin. He and Tamri had managed to patch themselves up after the monster's attack, and their first move had been to venture out into the ocean to look for any other survivors of the wreck. One would leave while the other watched over Jared in his feverish sleep, and each time he would come back, shaking his head, while the other slumped in disappointment at more grave news.
They had managed to salvage some sodden wood from the planks of the broken ship, of those that had not been eaten. There was a small bundle of timber at the back of the cave, and a small fire perpetually burned, lit by Tamri's magic and sustained by his power. Food and water had not been a problem – the elf was a very useful ally to have around in such a crisis, as he was able to conjure up food in an instant and push out the cold with his flaming magic. He had still not said much to Farlin about his past or explained much about himself, really. His topic of conversation stuck strictly to Jared's current state of fever, the fate of those aboard the ship and their hopes of survival. Then, he would return to staring with his faraway look and leave Farlin to bend over Jared once more.
The paladin had been slowly recovering, drifting in and out of sleep and fever. He had suffered from a deadly poison left in his body from the monster's tentacles, which had coursed through him and which was now causing terrible feverishness. Farlin had cleansed his friend of the venom, but though the toxins had been purged from his bloodstream, they had a lasting effect which weakened his muscles and made him helpless. He had not yet spoken a word, but would sometimes open his eyes weakly and look up at Farlin before falling unconscious again, which he took as an encouraging sign. The cut on his leg was beginning to clot up and Tamri's expert knowledge of first aid had allowed them to bandage it well and prevent it becoming infected, using strips of cloth from the elf's own robes. Whatever he thought of the mage, Farlin would be eternally grateful to him for his help in saving Jared's life – if the other paladin pulled through.
The lack of contact from the outside world had begun to frustrate Farlin considerably. Far apart from the fact that they had no way to inform people they were even alive, or a way to breathe underwater, he knew that Jared would need some kind of professional healer's care before he could fully recover. Their supply of wood would eventually run low and then they would be in serious trouble. It also gave him a lot of time to think, which only brought back recent memories of his actions aboard the doomed vessel, and his life as a whole which he could now see was some sort of cruel joke by the gods. Here he was, shamed and vulnerable, with the very man who should be shunning him forced to depend upon him for care – with no idea of the sinful actions Farlin had committed. What would his father say? Whenever these thoughts surfaced, he did his best to push them away and instead concentrate on some menial task that distracted him.
Tamri had been wonderful in dealing with their crisis. It seemed he had been in such situations before, as he always seemed to know the exact thing to do to fix a problem. Farlin could tell the elf was also concerned about their situation and their lack of contact with the surface, but his race's calm and serious demeanour was often difficult to penetrate and he could not communicate with the real man inside the barrier he had built up around him.
That is, until about a week into their isolation. Farlin awoke to the sound of Jared's snuffling and immediately soothed him, wetting a rag from one of the bandage cloths and placing it on the man's forehead. He noticed the dying fire and sleepily reached out to place some more logs on the pile, watching as the flames crackled upwards again, radiating their inviting heat. He was about to roll over and fall asleep again when he heard another sound from the corner of the cave and, peering into the darkness, saw Tamri curled in a ball, his knees up against his chest, sobbing quietly. He didn't seem to have noticed that Farlin had awoken, and for a second he was tempted to simply try to go back to sleep and leave the elf unbothered. But the more sentimental part of him cried out that he could not leave such an unfortunate soul in torment and after a moment he deliberately snapped one of the pieces of firewood, making a clear noise that was sure to alert Tamri to his presence.
Sure enough, the elf looked up, startled, and his roving yellow eyes glared out at the paladin from the darkness. Then, he sighed, and crawled forward into the firelight, the weaving flames giving him an eerie, ethereal aura, and projecting a shifting shadow onto the cave walls behind him. Neither spoke for a while, Farlin waiting for Tamri to speak and the elf staring into the flames, seemingly lost in thought.
"Fate is a fickle mistress, young paladin." Tamri's voice was sudden in the silence and made Farlin jump. "It seems she has ensnared both of us in her cruel grasp."
Farlin didn't know how to respond to this, so he remained mute, his hand absently reaching to Jared's side as he dozed fitfully. Tamri was quick to notice this gesture.
"You only prove my words," he sighed. "It is clear to me that you are torn between two separate destinies, tempted by one and drawn to the other. You feel you must choose but are not yet ready to face the choice. And I? I have been dealt a false hand by a false hope which has now led my life away from what it should have been."
"That's not necessarily a bad thing," Farlin murmured. He felt that even though this elf knew his innermost secrets, he could trust him and speak openly, knowing that in this small space nothing would be judged or condemned. Beneath the surface of the ocean, in their enclosed environment, he could finally speak freely about the troubles that had plagued his mind for years. "That way, you don't know what's going to happen to you. Surely that's better?"
"Alas, I do not have such a luxury," Tamri said quietly. "I was born...different to other elves. I have always had the gift of foresight – to see what others cannot. While Elanna courted me, I knew my fate was to be happy. We were to marry eight days ago – and had the ceremony gone ahead, I would have survived this trip, and returned to Darnassus to live out my life. It was guaranteed. It was safe. And then she...she simply took the whole future away."
"Did you love her?" Farlin asked simply.
Tamri hesitated. "I don't know. She was likeable enough, and she was beautiful. She would have made a good mother. I suppose she was a safe and sure bet that our lives would turn out happily."
"It seems to me," Farlin said carefully, unwilling to offend the elf, "that you weren't truly in love with the girl. It sounds like you were marrying her only for the destiny you knew she'd bring with her, not for her." His eyes roved to Jared's sleeping form once again. "When you want to be with someone...you want them from your very core. You know nobody else will ever make you feel the way they do. You know they'll always be the one."
Tamri slowly nodded. "The way you speak of love is intriguing. Elves do not know such a feeling – I suppose our immortality eroded our emotions. We find a suitable mate and we marry – that is the way of things. Those who will produce good offspring are desirable. Such strong want for another is rarely felt among our people."
"You are missing out," Farlin smiled, drawing lines in the sand with his fingers absent-mindedly.
"It would seem so," the elf replied, and they were silent for a while.
Then Tamri spoke again. "Jared is troubled," he said, gesturing over to where the paladin lay. He had begun to shuffle slightly, twisting over awkwardly and frowning. Farlin crouched beside him, tending him gently, until he settled once more into a deeper sleep, before returning to the fire and warming his hands against it. Tamri watched this little scene unmovingly, his eyes focused on Farlin the whole time.
"You are a most interesting person to study," he finally said. "Someone who has free choice between two destinies – between two people – is a rare thing to witness."
"To me, it doesn't feel like much of a choice. It's a dilemma," Farlin replied. "What should I do, Tamri? What I feel is wrong. It's against every code I have been brought up to believe in – against the will of the Order. Against the Light! And yet, I can't help it...I feel lust for other men." When he heard the words spoken aloud from his own mouth, with such a spitting hatred and guilt in his voice, he realised it was the first time he had ever said the words. He looked up at Tamri, and the elf encouraged him with his eyes. "I...I'm gay."
Hearing it uttered aloud brought a surprising sense of relief to the paladin, and it felt like a pressure lifted from his shoulders. "I'm a gay paladin. Whoever heard of it?" He chuckled, and the small laugh became hysteria, as he rolled over in fits, gasping for breath at the ridiculousness of everything he was. "A...a...gay paladin!" Tamri, unable to resist, broke his stern resolve and joined Farlin in his infectious laughter, and both of them simply lay there, giggling for a long while. It was absurd; such a serious matter could not be taken lightly, and yet it seemed that if they didn't laugh they would cry. It was just a natural reaction.
Eventually their laughter died down, and Farlin sat up straight again. He looked over at the elf, who also sat, and smiled. "I've known for ages, really. Since I was about fifteen."
Tamri said nothing, simply watched him.
Farlin was now caught in memories, speaking more to himself than the mage. "I was so young, and had just been initiated fully into the Order. I still see my father's proud face when I received my first libram. After the ceremony, we all went out and celebrated in the square – there were balloons and a massive feast. Jared was so happy for me."
Tears began to fill his eyes as he spoke, and dropped slowly to the sandy floor. "We used to be so close – we were totally inseparable. Best friends to the end. We would spend every day together, every night we would camp out in the city or by his gramma's house in the forest. At first I didn't realise what I felt. And when I realised it, I didn't think it mattered. But my emotions became stronger – I was so intrigued by his body, by his personality, the way he moved, and I couldn't help but become infatuated with him. I didn't understand what was happening to me – nobody had ever explained that a man could feel these things for another man."
"Such is the way of the world these days," Tamri sighed heavily. "When something is uncomfortable, people avoid it, and so the world becomes uneducated and blind."
Farlin nodded. "I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Who was there? My father – he would never have understood. The order would be scandalised. Jared, the one person I would tell everything to; well, he was out of the question. I just pushed the feelings away, sure they would never cause a problem. Maybe it was just Jared, I reasoned with myself, it's probably just something I'm going through. But then I started to admire other men, and the thought of being with a woman physically repulsed me. I knew it wasn't normal."
"What is normal is a matter of opinion, not fact," Tamri stated quietly.
"Unfortunately, it is the order's opinion that matters," Farlin said heavily. "On my sixteenth birthday – that's when it all went wrong. Jared and I had gone back to the lake we used to frequent as children, and we sat out by the shore. All I could think about was where we were, and what I felt, and I didn't feel I would be able to control myself. I just wanted to do things to him."
Tamri listened empathetically to the paladin's story, not saying anything.
"And then it came time for bed, and Jared offered me his tent, as he always had done – and I couldn't. I knew I'd lose control. I took off into the forest, saying I felt ill, and since then I've never been able to even be near him without feeling those things. Except for now, of course," he added, gesturing at Jared's prone and pale form. "Now all that matters is that he lives."
The elf nodded seriously, aware that the paladin may still not survive his ordeal without a qualified healer. There was silence for a while, and Farlin's crying gradually stopped.
"What am I going to do, Tamri?" he asked, his tone falling and his eyes becoming serious.
The elf sobered. "I cannot see into your destiny, Farlin. Your two fates are so entwined and yet so polarised I cannot begin to try and discern the pattern. Whatever choice you make, you will have to make uninformed. But know that this is the first step. You have finally come to terms with what you are, and what you feel – and now you can no longer deny it, you can begin to accept it. And once you have fully accepted who you are, the decision will be yours to make."
Farlin smiled. He was grateful for the mage's intervention tonight. "Thank you, Tamri."
"And thank you," the elf replied. "I, too, had to come to terms with a number of things."
They clasped arms in a gesture of friendship, the wavering light of the fire beginning to die once more. Farlin grinned – for once, he felt really at peace with everything. His internal dilemma was still there, but it was much easier to confront now that he had passed the stage of denial. He could now begin the road to acceptance of who he really was.
"I will tell you one other thing, though, which might help you in your decision. Or it might not. But it will be useful," Tamri said as he walked over to his small sleeping space. He motioned towards Jared. "He is not like you. In either of your destinies. He was never truly meant to be a paladin, and one day he will realise it. Nor is he...well, that way. But he holds a great respect and care for you. I cannot say what his reaction would be were he to find out what you really think of him."
Farlin nodded, not saying anything, and curled up next to his friend as he pondered Tamri's last comment. Of course Jared wasn't gay, he reasoned. He was always out at bars, with women. That thought made a spike of jealousy flare up inside him, and he knew right then that his feelings were too strong to ignore. That should have made his choice easy – he could come out to Jared about everything, once he was well (if he recovered – Farlin sent a small prayer up to the Light) and then accept whatever answer he was given, and move on with his life. But his father's face flashed up in his mind, stern and unforgiving, a great and respected man. What would he do if he found out that his only son had thrown away the great future intended for him, all his natural talent and all the convictions he had been brought up with, and was revealed to be a man who bedded other men? Farlin shuddered – he didn't think he could even imagine the extent of Greystorm's wrath.
Rolling over, he resolved to begin sorting it out tomorrow. He would find someone, anyone, in this desolate underwater graveyard, and he would bring them here to help Jared. He would find a way to the surface, and he would go home to Stormwind. Then he would confront his destiny.
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20,000 Leagues Under the Sea