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Fall from High Rock	By : mistressarachnia Category: +A through F > Elder Scrolls - Morrowind Views: 4940 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Elder Scrolls universe belongs to Bethesda. Alyssa Elbert belongs to me. I make no money from writing about her adventures.

Chapter List
- 41
- 42
- 43
Chapter
42: Family Secrets
Returning to Tel Mora was a welcome
relief after the insanity of Tel Branora.� Alyssa didn�t care if she never saw
another kwama egg again.� It had taken every ounce of self-restraint that she
possessed not to run back to Tel Fyr as fast as she could, hoping against hope
that Master Fyr had developed some sort of cure, or at least perfected the one
he had mentioned while she was there.� She sighed.� She envied Dratha her long
life, wits, and single-minded dedication.� If she was willing to devote so much
energy into curing Therana, it must have been true love indeed.� She wished she
possessed enough knowledge about the disease to have possibly been of some use
to Fyr, but at the moment she grudgingly admitted that she was useless for all
but the most basic of tasks.� By the time she learned enough to have been of
any use, Malcus would likely have become as deranged as that monster in Berwen�s
shop.� It was a fate worse than death, and yet she knew there was nothing she
could do about it.� She had given him the best chance she knew of, and she
would have to hope against hope that, at the very least, he would be well cared
for until the end.
It was late evening when the ship
docked.� Tonas grinned at her smugly, crossing her arms in a knowing fashion.
�Have fun at Vos?� she asked
mockingly.� Alyssa stared at her in surprise.
�Vos?� Aren�t we banned from
visiting Vos?� she asked innocently.� Tonas snorted.
�Right.� And like we really go
anywhere else alone for the weekends,� she laughed, �The Varo Tradehouse might
be a strange mixture of locals and outlanders, but it�s got a few perks the
Covenant will sadly be forever lacking.�� Alyssa glared at her.
�For your information, I was not in
Vos,� she retorted, �I was delivering potions to Mistress Therana in Tel Branora,
under Dratha�s orders.�� Tonas� face paled.
�Er� right� I was, uh, just joking
of course.� I wouldn�t know anything about what�s at Vos really.� I mean, I can
imagine but�� Tonas stammered.� Alyssa smiled.
�Don�t worry about it.� You can do
whatever you please.� It�s none of my business who you take to your bed.� But
for now, I should report back to Mistress Dratha,� Alyssa explained, slightly
surprised by the haughty tone in her voice.� She just didn�t like what Tonas
was implying.� After Malcus had simultaneously returned to her and been lost
forever, she was not in the mood to hear about frivolous casual hookups, much
less stand accused of taking part in them.
Alyssa entered the lower tower at
Tel Mora, coursing through its maze-like interior until she reached Dratha�s
chambers.� The older woman was seated calmly at her desk, sipping tea as she
paged through a leaflet or report of some sort.� Alyssa watched her for a
moment, her graceful fingertips wrapped around the small cup.� She could almost
imagine her with Therana, centuries ago.� Thanks to the necromantic arts Alyssa
guessed that they likely hadn�t appeared much different then.� Still, she had a
difficult time picturing Therana as anything more than the excitably insane wizardess
she had been when Alyssa met her.
�Hello Alyssa,� Dratha said
quietly, hardly looking up from her studies.� Alyssa caught the hint of a smile
on her face, as though she were amused at having Alyssa watch her.� Suddenly
Alyssa felt slightly foolish, although it was clear that Dratha didn�t mind.
�Greetings, Mistress.� I just
returned from Tel Mora.� I delivered the potions myself, and can personally
attest to the fact that Therana took them,� Alyssa replied.� Dratha smiled
sadly, setting down her report and turning towards Alyssa.
�How was she?� Dratha asked.�
Alyssa smiled.
�Um� excitable?� A bit
unpredictable�� Alyssa started.� Dratha sighed.
�She doesn�t even remember me, you
know.� Every time I try to visit her myself she casts a fireball in my direction
and hurls me down a tower shaft.� It was part of the curse, I imagine,� Dratha
explained quietly.
�I�m so sorry.� I heard what
happened from� the other girls�� Alyssa replied, catching herself before she
gave away her meeting with Fyr.� Dratha smiled.
�She wasn�t always like this,� Dratha
replied with a sigh, �But no matter.� You are a sweet girl to be concerned
about an old woman like me.�� Alyssa smiled.� Dratha�s age still seemed a
difficult concept for her to grasp, but then, she was only 17 years old
herself, nearly 18 but still�
�I have some news for you.� It may
or may not be to your liking,� Dratha continued.� Alyssa stiffened.
�What is it?� she asked cautiously.
�About your family.� I had Borwen
investigate through my contact in the Morag Tong.� It seems I was correct �
this Traven boy you were seeing is not unknown in the circle of
anti-necromantic-conspiracy,� Dratha explained, her tone taking on that of
venomous agitation as she glared off at no one in particular.
�Aaron?� asked Alyssa, feeling a
bit defensive.� She wanted to know what happened, but this just� didn�t make
any sense.
�But he was with me at the
University the night that the murders took place!� Alyssa protested.� Dratha
raised her eyebrow.
�One doesn�t need to be present at
the scene of the crime when they have hired the Dark Brotherhood to do their
work for them.� That is the point of the operation.� And I believe he was
merely playing his part.� That uncle you spoke of in Bravil, the one he visited
on academic breaks� his name was Hannibal Traven, was it not?� Dratha asked
coolly.
�Yes� yes I suppose it was�� Alyssa
replied, surprised that she knew his name.� To her knowledge, Hannibal Travel
was an old mage, but not one of particular importance.
�Hmm� did you also know that Hannibal
had a lover living in Daggerfall?� Dratha replied.� Alyssa shook her head.
�I never met him.� But I still
don�t see why in Oblivion either of them would want to kill my family!� Alyssa
protested, �They were kind and loving.� They took care of the town and made it
safe for everyone.�
�Yes they did.� But they were
necromancers.� They did the town a great service, ridding it of thieves and
beggars, culling the lowest classes so that the rest of the population might
live free of disease and hardship,� Dratha agreed.� Alyssa�s eyes widened.� Was
she implying�
�No,� she whispered, shaking her
head as she backed against the wall.
�I have my sources, when the need
arises.� The world is full of hatred and prejudice against the entire field of
necromancy.� But I shall never let such narrow-mindedness cloud the atmosphere
of Tel Mora, you have my word.� The souls your family and guildmates harvested
served a much higher purpose than the deranged and insane criminals who would
otherwise have plagued your city,� Dratha nodded approvingly.
�Unfortunately, they made the
mistake of culling the females as well as the males.� It was the fatal flaw �
if they had only gotten rid of the men, as I have done, their town could have
been a paradise, as I have made Tel Mora.� For it is not class that separates a
people, but gender.� I am sure that war, rape, murder, and violence occur just
as often amongst the rich as they do the poor, but rarely do they occur amongst
women.� It is always the men who are to blame, just as they are in this case.�
It seems your parents were on the right track in their thinking, but were
clearly blinded by the denial of the obvious truth I have so often witnessed in
heterosexual pairings.� It is an unfortunate side effect of the society we live
in,� Dratha mused.� Alyssa could only stare in shock.
�You are saying, my parents killed
the poor of Daggerfall for their souls?� Alyssa repeated.� She could not
imagine her loving parents doing such a thing.
�You claim you played with glowing
lesser black soul gems as marbles, did you not?� Dratha replied calmly, �Black
soul gems can only contain the souls of men and mer, and the glow means that
they were filled.� Lesser black soul gems can only be filled with the souls of
paupers and peasants, yet you claim there were none in Daggerfall.� Think about
it, my dear, it makes perfect sense.� A logical and resourceful way to improve
magical research as well � making the town a better place for all those worthy
of sharing it with such a renown family of wizards and wizardesses.�
�No�� Alyssa repeated, shaking her
head as tears came to her eyes.� Yes, it made perfect sense, but she did not
want it to.� Her heart was racing and she turned her head, not wanting Dratha
to see her tears.
�Come my dear, I did not mean to
make you cry.� But knowing is better than remaining curious and afraid forever,
is it not?� I know it is painful, but it is always better to know the truth.�
It is known that Hannibal acquired one of these gems from your guild� it seems
he and his lover got into a fight after she lost her fortune in Wayrest and
turned to prostitution as revenge � her travels took her to Daggerfall where
she noted the market was wide open for such a business.� Alas, her career was
cut short and Hannibal sought her out as any foolish man overrun with passion
for a woman clearly his better might do.� The rest, I am sure, is history.� If
this Hannibal had possessed any sense, he would have blamed himself for
allowing his love to fall into such a state.� Men are so often incapable of
giving women what they need in a relationship.�
�You are saying that Aaron used me
to get information to murder my family?!� Alyssa cried, finally looking Dratha
in the eye.
�I am,� she replied, �Men are evil
creatures to prey upon the delicate, trusting sensibilities of innocent young
girls like you.� It is best that you learn quickly to recognize them for the
snakes that they are.�
�I don�t believe this,� Alyssa
sobbed, afraid to break Dratha�s gaze.
�Why not?� Dratha asked.
�No, I mean� I DO believe it� and
that�s what is terrifying me,� she finally admitted, breaking into a stream of
tears.� Dratha stood, taking Alyssa close in her arms.
�I figured as much.� I am sorry
this happened to you, my dear.� I can only assure you that things will get better
for you soon � much better.� For now it is best to let your hurt surface �
holding in emotions is a game that only foolish men play, and this is largely
because they lack the brainpower to process such intense feelings.� We will all
take care of you, Alyssa darling,� Dratha whispered soothingly, running her
hands through Alyssa�s hair tenderly.
�I just� I�ve lost too much
recently�� Alyssa cried.
�We have all lost something
important to us, Alyssa, your feelings are perfectly justified,� Dratha
replied, �You are sweet and innocent � I remember long ago when I myself was
young.� My family was killed as well � my mother at least, I never had a
father.� She was all I had.� I feel for you, Alyssa, I really do.� The hurt
will never go away completely, but you will find other things to fill your
heart.�
�Thank you, Mistress,� Alyssa
replied, still crying uncontrollably.� If anything, Dratha�s confession had
just made things worse.� She felt like everything was falling apart, the world
was spinning around her.� Yet what was the difference?� Her family had been
dead yesterday, and the day before that�� And she had feared Malcus himself
dead before he arrived in Tel Mora.� Yet it seemed that these revelations only
made the situation worse � opening old wounds she thought had healed.� Her
family had not been murderers yesterday, her first lover had not betrayed her,
her beloved was not languishing of an incurable disease�
�I hate my life!� I hate everything
about it!� Nothing good ever happens to me!� Alyssa cried suddenly, pulling
away.� Dratha relaxed her hold a bit, but continued watching the young girl
with tenderness and fascination.
�You do not, or you would not be
here.� You are only hurting right now, and that hurt is natural.� The world is
a cruel place, and it has surely been cruel to you.� But you are strong, Alyssa
� you will survive.� All of this will only make you stronger in the end.� You
will see,� Dratha smiled tenderly.� Alyssa looked away, frantically searching
for something, anything, to let her know this wasn�t real.
�I can�t take it anymore,� she
finally confessed, �I�m not strong enough.�
�Come here, my child.� Sit down and
rest yourself.� You are stronger than you imagine, and you have help here.� We
will not abandon you,� Dratha whispered soothingly, sitting down next to her on
the bed.� Alyssa obeyed, still crying.
�I don�t want to go home.� Berwen
will tease me and I don�t want anyone else to know,� Alyssa cried, shaking her
head.� Dratha laughed softly.
�Berwen is a silly young elf, but
she is kind-hearted.� I am sure that she has more sense than to torment her
beloved,� Dratha consoled.� Alyssa laughed bitterly.� Did Berwen really have
everyone on Tel Mora believing that she and Alyssa were lovers?
�It�s not like that,� Alyssa
explained bitterly, not caring that she was breaking with Berwen�s silly
story.� It was her own fault, really.
�Hmm.� I am saddened, but not
surprised.� I�ve known Berwen since she was a little girl, and I must confess
she has been a difficult girl to make sense of ever since she was old enough to
speak.� A beautiful girl, and surely lovely and intelligent, but it would take
a very special woman indeed to win her heart, as it seems you have,� Dratha
replied.� Alyssa smirked.� Won Berwen�s heart, had she?� She somehow doubted
it.
�You don�t love her, do you?� Dratha
asked quietly.� Alyssa shook her head.
�Well, I love her as I love any�
woman�� Alyssa confessed, �And she is a good and entertaining friend, but no
more than that.�
�Ah.� I understand,� said Dratha
softly.� Alyssa sighed.� She wondered if she did, really.� But then again, she
had loved, and she had lost.� And her family had been killed as well� perhaps
they were more alike than she imagined.� She looked over at Dratha, gazing into
her glowing pink eyes.
�Thank you,� she whispered.� She
hugged her, enjoying the sweet scent of her elegant black gown, and the way it
felt against her body.� There was something even more than soothing about the
gesture, as Dratha stroked her face tenderly and lightly kissed her forehead.
�You would keep looking for a cure
to Therana�s condition forever, wouldn�t you?� Alyssa asked softly, pressing
her head against Dratha�s shoulder.
�Yes.� I never give up on any of my
girls, Alyssa,� Dratha replied.� Alyssa sighed deeply.
�I think that is wonderfully
romantic,� she replied, wiping away the tears that still fell from her eyes
only for more to take their place.
�True love never accepts defeat.� I
hope that you will understand that one day,� Dratha replied, kissing Alyssa�s
forehead softly. �Alyssa looked up, finding herself locked in Dratha�s pink
eyes.� It was as though the world around her dissipated, and some of her pain
had melted with it.� She wished her Mistress would take it all away, but she
knew it was too much to ask.
Dratha took Alyssa�s chin in her
hand, bringing her lips to her own.� Her lips were soft, softer than those of
any man, and for a moment Alyssa welcomed her tenderness, kissing her back
softly.� But when the situation caught up to her she then froze, her eyes
widening in shock and fear.� What was she doing?!� Dratha pulled away, gazing
at Alyssa tenderly with a sly smile.
�You�ve never kissed a woman, have
you?� she asked softly.� Alyssa swallowed, a slight fear rising in her chest.� Dratha
would likely disapprove if she mentioned that her only experiences had been
with men, and that she had, well� really never even THOUGHT about kissing a
woman.� But clearly Dratha could see that she was inexperienced.
�No,� she finally whispered,
feeling strangely ashamed of the fact. �To her surprise, Dratha only smiled.
�It�s alright,� she said, �I rather
assumed you had been intimate with Berwen, but since you have told me otherwise
it is understandable that you have not enjoyed the pleasures of female
lovemaking.� But have no fear - there is no shame in inexperience.�� Alyssa
gulped, unsure what to say.
�Are you afraid?� she asked.�
Alyssa�s face flushed.� She was a little, yes.
�It�s alright my dear.� There is a
first time for everything.� But there is no need to fear with me.� With men,
you might have cause, and I can see they have given you reason to fear.� I will
not force you.� But I am sorry for you,� Dratha continued, �For too many women
never know the pleasures that their own bodies can bring them.� The complicated
power struggles between the sexes keep them from ever truly realizing the joy
brought by experiencing love brought to its fullest potential � love given
freely, with no need for hurt or jealousy.�� Alyssa bit her lip, trembling a
little.
�It�s just�� Alyssa started, �I�ve
lost so much and��
��You are confused and emotional.�
This is understandable.� I want to help you, Alyssa.� You do not need to fear
me.� I will not make you do anything you do not wish to do.� Although I
confess,� she smiled, �I would find it particularly delightful to teach you the
joys of your own body.� But that is a subject for another time.� For now, rest.�
I will watch over you while you sleep, and keep you safe,� Dratha replied
soothingly, running her hands through Alyssa�s hair as she laid her back gently
on the bed.� Alyssa stared at her questioningly, her body shaking slightly as Dratha
kissed her forehead once more.� Dratha left the room for a moment, and she
could hear talking from outside, but no words.� She lay, staring at the ceiling
as her heart raced.� Her mind was so awash with confused emotions that she
hardly knew how to express them.
Dratha returned carrying a light
silken nightdress and a cup of tea.
�Here you are, my dear.� You will
be more comfortable in these, and I hope you find this warm beverage soothing.�
I always drink it myself when I�m feeling upset,� Dratha smiled, handing Alyssa
the gown and setting the teacup beside the elegant four-poster bed.� Alyssa
stared at them, feeling foolish and embarrassed.
�Thank you,� she replied, unable to
look Dratha in the eye.
�I�ll be gone for just a moment.� I
need to collect a few more papers before I return and tend to you.� But in the
meantime, feel free to change and make yourself more comfortable,� Dratha
replied cheerfully, a hint of concern in her voice.
�Alright, thank you, Mistress,�
Alyssa repeated, waiting for Dratha to leave.
�You are welcome, my dear,� she
replied, taking Alyssa�s hand briefly before she headed out the door again.�
When the clicking of her heels grew fainter, Alyssa sat, eyeing the nightgown
wearily.� It was dark burgundy and appeared modest but comfortable, spun from
the silk of kwama queens, she guessed, for she had nothing like it herself.� It
was soft at least, and it would be nice to get out of her tight dress.� She
sighed, loosening the back as she pulled it over her head, changing quickly
into the gown.� She felt a bit silly, sitting on Dratha�s bed wearing her
clothes, but then� the only other option was to return home to Berwen, and
likely get interrogated about the men she might have met along her travels.�
She took the teacup from the table, inhaling its sweet aroma.� Yes, whatever
else happened, she would be more comfortable here.
Alyssa turned back the covers of
the bed, noticing with pleasant surprise the soft light fabric which covered
them.� It had been a long time since she had slept on anything so fine.� It was
a wonder that Berwen did not possess such things � she would have to ask her
about it when she returned.
What was it, exactly, that had
happened between the two women?� Had she initiated it herself or had Dratha?�
She had been crying one moment, and the next they were kissing.� And� she had
responded, her body not wishing it to stop until her mind caught up with what
she was doing.� Alyssa wasn�t sure what to think about that.� She had never
considered taking a woman as a lover, but then� she had not taken many lovers.�
Most of the girls on the island claimed it was better but then there were
others like Tonas who disagreed and Berwen, who was just terribly confused - or
confusing, at least.� Perhaps the little elf knew exactly what she was doing �
it wouldn�t surprise her, really.
At the same time, it bothered her
slightly that on this night, as opposed to any other, she should question her
sexuality.� Her lover had been lost, and she could not decide if her actions
were a betrayal of his memory or not.� It almost didn�t seem as bad as when she
had told him about Tiram and Anarenen� like it didn�t count somehow.� He had
told her to go on, yet how could she ever want another man after him?� If
anything, swearing off men seemed more in keeping with his memory than in
disowning it.� She could keep him, love him� in her heart at least.� And she
felt she always would.� But at the same time, she knew she wouldn�t be able to
handle being alone anymore.� She needed comfort, and Malcus surely knew this.� But
to get it from a woman�� She sighed.� There were too many things to think about
this night.
Murderers� if Dratha had simply
told Alyssa that her family were necromancers, well� that would be one thing.�
She was a necromancer herself nowadays, and she had known all along that many
of her relatives practiced the profession freely and openly.� But harvesting
the souls of the less fortunate� even to harness the energy into something
productive to benefit the entire village� that was worse than taking slaves,
she thought.� It was taking lives.� She doubted that the victims consented
before their souls were trapped and their throats slit as their bodies burned��
The pain of the soul trap spell she had experienced under Neloth herself� how
many others had suffered the same fate, permanently?� It had hurt, having her
soul ripped from her flesh.� It was frightening.� But at least it had returned
to her body when the spell wore off.� There were worse fates.� But it broke her
heart that her family had engaged in them.
If Malcus knew, he would be
disgusted with her.� She knew it.� Well, perhaps not her, but surely her
family.� Did Edwinna know?� She had never said anything about it, but then it
was not like Edwinna to volunteer information, especially when she felt it
might be something that had the potential to harm her little sister.� Alyssa
felt she had to ask, yet she was afraid of the answer she might receive.� Edwinna
was all she had left.� She loved her.� She wanted to keep her.� She needed to
believe� that Edwinna didn�t know, that she hadn�t helped.
But maybe there was another
explanation?� Dratha�s scenario fit, but had hardly been proven.� Maybe there
was another side to the story.� But why would Dratha lie to her?� And such a
lie!� Alyssa shuddered.� It would be almost more disturbing to learn that her
Mistress had fabricated such a thing to play with her emotions than it would to
believe that her family had really done such a thing, that their deaths had
been born out of vengeance for genuine wrongdoing.� Almost.� Yet was that any
worse than thinking of them as innocent victims?� Somehow, the answer still
seemed to be, �yes.�� Dying as murders guilty for the death of countless
paupers was worse for a survivor to live with than death as innocent victims.�
Either way, the family was dead.� Yet in the latter scenario, the loss was
great, but in the former it was no greater than in the latter� however the loss
was tinged with guilt and shame.
She was not innocent.� Her family
were not innocent.� They deserved what happened to them � or someone surely
thought so.� Would they have killed her as well?� Or did she escape, saving her
own life when Aaron learned she had not been involved?� But she had been
attacked in Ald�ruhn.� No, he must have felt she was guilty.� Guilty enough to
die.� She cried, her hand shaking as she brought the teacup to her mouth.� The
sweet warm liquid was indeed soothing, and she took a deep breath.
�Are you feeling any better, my
dear?� Dratha asked.� Alyssa had hardly heard her enter.� She nodded silently,
attempting to swallow her sobs.
�Everything seems worse at night.�
You will feel better in the morning,� Dratha continued soothingly, �I�ll be
right here, watching over you.�
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Fall from High Rock