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Luka's Story-Paradox	By : Ditmag Category: +M through R > Monster Girl Quest Views: 2709 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Monster Girl Quest Paradox is the intellectual property of Tortorro Restistance. I make no money from this.

Chapter List
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- 43
“So you’ve been serving the Monster Lord all this time?” The queen asked Mephisto.
“I have, your majesty,” Mephisto replied. “But I have also been serving you. My orders were to assist Grand Noah in defeating the invasion. There has been no conflict between my service to the Monster Lord and my service to Grand Noah.”
“Hmmm…..” the queen thought for a moment. “It’s true that you have served this kingdom well. Your magic and advice has been instrumental in keeping us safe. Let’s move on. I’ve heard that those three succubus sisters were responsible for the chaos in Sabasa. If they’re cooperating with the Monster Lord, does that mean she wanted them to corrupt the queen of Sabasa?”
“Yes, that is correct. The Monster Lord and the three sisters are allies. Their interests are aligned.”
“What in the world is my mother up to?” Alice wondered. “Nothing that’s happening makes any sense! If my mother Is helping Grand Noah against Grangold, why brainwash the queen of Sabasa?”
“That’s a very good question, Mephisto,” the queen of Grand Noah noted> “What is the intent behind the Monster Lord’s plans in regards to Sabasa?”
“I do not know,” Mephisto shrugged. “the big picture was not shared with me because it was assumed that eventually I would be found out.”
“Fine,” the queen said, clearly frustrated. “One more question, then. Is the Monster Lord manipulating Grangold as well?”
“Yes,” Mephisto replied. “I’ve heard that she is in full control over that country.”
“Wait, so the Monster Lord is behind both belligerents in this war?” I asked. “Why?”
“The Monster Lord’s plans are as deep as the ocean."
“No, MY plans are as deep as an ocean!” Ilias shot back. “Whatever the Monster Lord is planning, it will come to naught. Fucking NAUGHT I tell you!”
No one said anything for a moment. Finally, the queen spoke. “Okay, then. Mephisto, please return to your duties.”
“What?!” Sonya exclaimed. “You know she’s working for the Monster Lord and you’re just telling her to go back to work?!”
“Her orders are to assist Grand Noah and she has done so admirably,” the queen replied. “I can’t afford to lose talented people right now.”
“But you know the Monster Lord is playing both sides of the conflict!” I argued.
“Then let us end the conflict. Luka, can I rely on your assistance to that end?”
“You most certainly can, but….”
“Thank you, that will be all. The paperwork has been completed for your access to the Tartarus. Go explore it, and take care of any other quests you might have in this region. When you return our war council should be finished. Then we can talk about what our next steps will be.”
“Yes, your majesty,” I responded, realizing that I had just agreed to intervene in the war without discussing it with my companions.
“Excuse me, Luka?” I heard Mephisto say as I began to turn away.
“Yes?”
“I’ve learned recently that fighting has resumed in Plansect Forest,” Mephisto said. “I realize you have other quests in the area, but this is of particular interest to the Monster Lord for obvious reasons. She requests that you go to Plansect and see if you can get them to accept another truce.”
“I’m afraid I don’t take orders from your Monster Lord. I take orders only from the true Monster Lord, Alipheese the Sixteenth.”
“You’re in charge, Luka,” Alice mumbled.
“And…. I’m in charge,” I said. “And I… also take orders from the Monster Lord.”
“And your Goddess,” Ilias reminded me.
“And I also take orders from the Goddess,” I said. “because… I’m in charge.”
“It is good that your chain of command is so well defined,” Mephisto said diplomatically. “In any case, whoever makes the actual decisions in your group, please consider going to Plansect. I would do so myself, but I have duties here.”
“I’ll… discuss it with my team,” I promised.

Since I had knowledge to share from my previous experience with Plansect, we held a meeting. Alice did not like the idea of direct intervention, but I prevailed upon her to let me try a little something from Earth called a “peacekeeping force”. The first time I had been a one-man peace making force, drawn into attacking and defeating both sides singlehandedly. While it had been effective, I thought I’d try something a little more sophisticated and elegant.
So I gathered up all of the combat-capable castle residents and we marched to Plansect two days later. Before we entered the forest, however, I had to brief my troops. The mission would not be a walk in the park, although I was confident that we had more than enough power to prevail.
“I know that monsters normally don’t fight to the death,” I said, speaking to my assembled legion of…. Well, of about fifteen. Not even a platoon. “And I do hope that you will all demonstrate restraint and not kill anyone. However…. The hatred and irrationaliy may run deep among the belligerents in there. While plants and insects aren’t the most powerful monsters, they can be savage. They dissolve, poison, and sometimes even devour their opponents. Do what you have to do to protect your lives. I trust all of you to use your best judgment in there.”
“It’s time to impose some justice!” Juska shouted, trying to inspire us.
We made it about ten feet into the forest before being attacked by plant monsters roughly equal in number to our group. To my dismay, Ilias and Barbun fired arrows rapidly while Flippy caused them to burst into flame in midair. Since plants were vulnerable to fire, it had the desired effect. No plants were killed, but three of them suffered horrific burns which Sonya and Ilias treated as soon as their brethren had left them behind.
“Did we have to beat them that way?” I asked Flippy, my heart breaking at the tears of pain being shed by a poor alraune who had burns over nearly half her body.
“You wanted to do it this way,” Alice retorted. “Monsters know better how to beat monsters than humans do, even one with your experience. If we’d gotten into a melee with them, there would have been people wounded just as badly on both sides, if not killed. You already ordered us to try to avoid killing. If you want to tell us to avoid inflicting pain, then you might as well just order us to ask the combatants to kindly not attack us.”
Juska squeezed my arm sympathetically. The look on her face spoke volumes. This wasn’t fighting street criminals. This was war, and it was likely to be very unpleasant. I hoped that the insects wouldn’t attack us on sight as the plants had.
Fortunately, we didn’t get into anymore fights with the plant side. Once we explained who we were and why we were there, we were escorted to see Priestess. Priestess had once deceived me into fighting her war for her, only to try to have me killed when I returned in a righteous anger, determined to end it with force if I had to. When we were brought before Priestess, things looked pretty much the same as they had the first time I’d met her. She sat on a throne of vines. The major difference, however, was that the three carnivorous mercenary plants that she had hidden from me the first time were standing openly behind her. I could also sense something else different about her. Rather than the self assured, deceptive Priestess who talked a naïve kid into dealing with her insect enemies, this Priestess seemed consumed by the stress of her job and the war.
“Hmm?” Priestess said, taking in what I hoped looked like a very formidable force. “You aren’t members of the insect tribe.”
“Do you think?” Ilias asked sarcastically.
“My apologies for getting you caught up in our battles,” Priestess replied. “My soldiers are on edge and misinterpreted your entrance into the forest as an invasion, possibly mercenaries working for the insects. We have our own mercenaries. Behind me are the Canaan Sisters. They have been lending their expertise. We plants are not warlike. We have little experience with combat. Their assistance has been invaluable.”
“We’d heard that a monster claiming to be Alipheese the 17^th intervened and put an end to this conflict,” Alice said. “Why has the fighting resumed?”
“Yes,” Priestess confirmed. “The woman claiming to be the Monster Lord showed up out of nowhere and made short work of both sides. She forced us to make peace, and since we were no match for her, we obeyed.”
“And then just resumed fighting once she was gone?” Alice asked.
“No! Although the peace was forced on us, truthfully we were all tired of the long war. Both our tribes were relieved to have a truce. But the peace was broken once THEY showed up.”
“Once who showed up?” I asked, wondering if Priestess was trying to play games again.
“Apparently the Monster Lord contenders have a great interest in Plansect,” Priestess answered. “First the 17^th, and then two monsters representing Black Alice.”
“Black Alice?!” Alice exclaimed. “Who are these monsters?”
“One of them calls herself Quetzalcoatl. She claims to be a serpent deity. The other says that she is a cat god, Tezcatlipoca. Tezcatlipoca took control of our tribe, and Quetzalcoatl took charge of the insects. Despite the fact that they both serve Black Alice, they began fighting within days of arriving in Plansect, and ordered the plants and insects to destroy their respective rival.”
“Well where is this false cat god?” Ilias demanded to know. “We’ll give her a solid ass kicking and then we’ll do the same to that dirty serpent!”
“Presently, Tezcatlipoca is off chasing butterflies or something of that nature,” Priestess replied.
“Typical cat,” Alice snarked.
“How is it that this planet harbors so much stupidity?” Ilias wondered.
“Anyway,” Priestess continued. “there have been a few clashes since then, and we managed to drive the insects southeast to Red Mountain. We are just about to execute our final solution. With them trapped on Red Mountain, we’ll wipe the insect tribe out for good. If you are truly here to help us regain our treasured peace, would you aid us in our fight against the insects?”
“Genocide,” I said. “Genocide’s your answer? I should have guessed.”
“Well, if you’re not willing, I can’t force you, but you should know that the final battle has already begun.”
“Oh, I’ll go to Red Mountain,” I said. “You can bet on that!”
The Canaan Sisters looked angry. Priestess looked troubled. Alice decided to be silent. We left Priestess’ presence and began to march to the southeast.
“Normally I wouldn’t want to intervene,” Alice said. “But you made the right call, Luka. If they are being manipulated into war, it’s my duty as Monster Lord to put a stop to it.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “I have little doubt that we can beat anyone we face on the plant or insect side. It’s those two supposed gods that worry me. Have you heard of either of them?”
“I’ve never heard of them,” Alice replied. “Ilias?”
“The names are familiar,” Ilias answered. “But dammit, my brain just won’t bring up the information. All I know is that they don’t belong here in this time.”
“So ancient monsters?” I asked. “Lovely. First we get ancient succubi possibly working for your mother, now more ancient monsters working for Black Alice. None of this can be good for the stability of this world.”
We arrived at Red Mountain to find that Priestess had been a bit too optimistic about finishing the war in one big battle. This was good defensive ground, and the insects had made the most of it. For every dead or wounded insect on the ground there were three plants, and as I recalled, insects had a numbers advantage on plants to begin with.
While I have called the fighting between plants and insects a “war” it actually resembled more of a gang fight. Most monsters didn’t organize into disciplined military units, instead choosing to fight as individuals or in small groups. There were exceptions, like the harpies and ants, who had very sophisticated military doctrines. One would think that insects would as well, but due to the fact that insects united as many different races, it diminished their ability to form cohesive fighting forces. Queen Bee, the insect queen, didn’t just have to mobilize her bees. She had to mobilize mosquitoes, butterflies, moths, flies, and hornets.
That meant that while there were many dead and wounded, there were also many who were simply exhausted, taking a break on a battlefield that would have been much more deadly had there been more coordination by each of the opposing forces. Then again, who was I to talk? I was managing a force of humans, angels, monsters, and…. Whatever Nuruko was. All of them fought however they pleased and I had yet to get them working as a team, mainly because I lacked the expertise to even know where to begin, beinga lone fighter myself.
As a result of the disorganized chaos that was the battle, we managed to reach the Queen Bee with little opposition. The already tired members of each gang gave us a wide berth. The Queen Bee, confident in her own strength, had no protection. She had committed her best soldiers to the battle, which may have been the reason the insects seemed to be winning. Priestess hadn’t even committed the Canaan Sisters, preferring to keep them close for her own personal protection. That had been true the first time as well. Priestess had eventually become a passable plant queen, but she had never been courageous or principled.
Queen Bee was at a high point, hovering several feet off the ground above the peak of a hill, observing the battle, which at the moment seemed to have reached a lull. While the climb hadn’t been as arduous as getting up Mt St Amos, we were all a little tired.
“Who are you and why are you here?” the Queen Bee demanded to know. “Are you mercenaries intent on killing me for the Priestess, or are you allies?”
“We’re neither,” I replied. “We just want to figure out what’s going on here. We want to stop the fighting if we can.”
“We are tired of fighting as well,” the queen replied. “We regarded the truce forced upon us by Alice the Seventeenth to be a stroke of good luck. But Black Alice’s lackeys restarted the war. We were driven out of the forest and forced to hole up on this mountain. However, it turns out that we like it here. It’s not a bad place to live. If the plants would simply stop attacking us, we’d simply stay here and not bother them anymore.”
“That sounds like a solution,” Sonya said.
Indeed it did. I’d forced a truce myself, but plants and insects had never truly been friends and war had always threatened to break out again. In the end, the best solution had been for the slimes to settle in Plansect as a more peaceful third force that could prevent one side from bullying the other. If they could be separated, with the plants ceded the forest and the insects relocating to the mountains, the peace might be more durable.
“If you could get the plant tribe to stop attacking us, and promise not to threaten our existence ever again, we would be happy to make this mountain our new hive,” the Queen Bee promised.
“All right,” I said. “We’ll relay what you’ve told me to Priestess. Maybe we can still end this without one side destroying the other.”
“You’re going to try to broker peace?” Queen Bee asked. “I don’t think they’ll listen to a word you say. But if you could get close enough to Priestess, you could use that blade of yours….”
“I’ll do what I can,” I replied gruffly. While Queen Bee had never deceived me to the extent Priestess had, I knew that she would be quite happy to end the war by destroying the plants. The insects were no less genocidal than the plants, just more direct about their intentions.
The good news was that since I’d been to both the top of Red Mountain and Priestess’ outdoor throne room, I could literally shuttle, or more accurately, teleport, back and forth. I was hoping that I could get things settled before the fighting at Red Mountain became intense again.
The Priestess was rather startled to see us again so soon.
“Back already?” Priestess asked. “Have you finished wiping out the insects?”
“I never said we were going to fight for you,” I pointed out. “Look, Queen Bee doesn’t want this war to continue. If you agree to stop fighting, an agreement can be reached. Queen Bee is even willing to cede Plansect to the plants and make Red Mountain their new home.”
“I see,” Priestess said. “I have to admit I didn’t want to see so many lives lost myself. Okay, I’m willing to talk. How did she say she wanted to do this?”
“I don’t think so!”
Texcatlipoca suddenly teleported in, apparently back from… whatever it is that cat gods do when they aren’t overseeing the slaughter of whole races.
“I’m the ruler of this forest!” the cat god said angrily. “You can’t go making decisions meowt me!”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I said I’m the ruler of this forest!”
“No, the last part.”
“Priestess can’t make decisions meowt me!”
“Speak like a normal person!” Alice yelled.
“Tezcatlipoca!” Ilias shouted. “Do you really think you and Black Alice are in charge here?! I remember you now. You’ve always been a troublemaker. Erasing you from history was one of the best decisions I ever made!”
Before the cat god could respond, Priestess interrupted. “Tezcatlipoca, I’m the one managing the affairs of the plant tribe. This pointless war cannot continue any longer.”
“You dare to disobey meow?!” the cat god exclaimed. “Let me show you who’s really in charge!”
“Canaan Sisters!” Priestess shouted.
The Canaan Sisters were willing, but not up to the task of taking on an ancient powerful monster who fancied herself a god. With one swing of her scythe, Tezcatlipoca grievously wounded the Canaan Sisters, putting them out of the fight.
“Sonya, see to the Canaan Sisters!” I ordered. “Tezcatlocopa, look at me! I’m your opponent!”
“It’s Texcatlipoca!” she replied angrily, lashing at me with some kind of magic, which I quickly blocked with a shield.
“That was a dark magic spell that causes instant death!” Alice warned. “Even I don’t know that one!”
But the cat god was as quick as a…. cat, closing on me and painfully slashing me across the chest. Damn, on my first adventure I was losing pants, now I was losing shirts! I retaliated with my sword, giving as good as I got. Tezcatlipoca retreated to inspect her wound.
“What is this?!” she exclaimed. “My power… I feel myself growing weaker! What evil magic is in that sword?!”
“It’s a little something Micaela made long after you made the world a better place by dying,” Ilias replied smugly. “it was made to fight angels, but it works well against filthy monsters as well!”
“You may have a fancy weapon, but you’re still just a human!” Tezcatlipoca yelled, springing at me again, claws outstretched. I summoned Gnome. I probably should have chosen Sylph. She cut me again, although not as badly as the first time. More importantly, I wasn’t knocked down. She bounced off of me and hit the ground hard, struggling to her feet. Before she could right herself I’d cut her again.
“You possess the elements?!” she roared in disbelief.
“I’ve got a lot more tricks than that,” I said.
“As do I, human,” she replied as she took my legs out from under me, slashing my pants and getting between my legs. She rubbed her soft, furry face against my penis and gave it a light lick with her ultra rough tongue. “Now surrender to me and let me show you the pleasures a god can bring.”
Before I could insult her for insulting me(I had never been THAT weak), Alice’s tail whipped out, knocking Tezcatlipoca off of me. Ilias began to glow in a threatening manner, ready to unleash her own power on her old enemy. Sara had changed into her succubus form, which really got the cat god’s attention, as beasts are almost as weak to pleasure as humans.
“Mrrrooowwww……” the cat god growled, seeing that she was clearly outmatched. “You’re lucky I was already worn out from fighting that bird!”
Tezcatlipoca teleported away, wisely so, I thought.
“Well, you managed to drive away one of Black Alice’s servants,” Priestess said. “But her other servant is probably still at Red Mountain. If you want to broker a peace between our races, you will probably have to defeat her as well. I assume she will not allow Queen Bee to agree to a truce. I will accompany you.”
“Then let me introduce you to the Luka Express,” I said. “I’ll take us right there! Sonya, how are they?”
“They’ll live!” Sonya informed me. “But I still need to work on them! Go kick that fake god’s ass!”
Smiling at Sonya, I teleported everyone but her and the Canaan Sisters to Red Mountain. I didn’t have to wait for the other Black Alice lackey to make her appearance. Quetzalcoatl was already confronting the Queen Bee.
“You’re negotiating a peace behind my back!?” the bird goddess exclaimed. “Let me show you how I reward traitors!”
Quetzalcoatl coiled her snake tail around the Queen Bee and squeezed, causing the Queen Bee’s already bulging eyes to bulge further. Ilias reacted faster than me, putting an error into Quetzalcoatl’s side. The bird/snake god barely reacted, contemptuously yanking the arrow out of her hide and tossing it away.
“All of you are seriously going to defy me?!” Quetzalcoatl raged. “I’ll make each and every one of you pay!”
“Do you even know who you’re talking to?” Ilias shot back. “Whatever. It’ll be a pleasure to obliterate you! Luka, obliterate her!”
I gave Ilias a strange look, but drew my sword anyway. Quetzalcoatl got the drop on all of us, however. The cat god had demonstrated unusual power with a death spell as her opening attack. Quetzalcoatl showed us her best move right off the bat as well, creating an incredible gale with her wings that sent all of my candidates rolling back down the hill. I summoned Gnome again and stood my ground. Before I knew it, she was on top of me. Not this again, I thought.
“Come, let me grant you a gentle ascension,” she said softly. “I can pleasure you in unimaginable ways. I possess the sexual attributes of both harpies and lamias.”
“I have a rule,” I replied. “I only have sex with allies.”
Using Gnome’s power, I heaved her large body off of me and attacked with my sword. Faced with a lone human, even one that obviously had elemental powers, she seemed more amused than angered, playfully dodging my sword blows while giving me glancing caresses with her wings. She also tried to entangle me in her tail to truly get down to the business of subduing me with pleasure, but I had long experience at doding lamia tails, to the point where I didn’t even need Sylph most of the time.
A little peeved that she didn’t take me seriously, and knowing her power, I took the chance to let her have a moderate power blast. As usual, I underestimated for safety’s sake. Still, it did some damage. Feathers of multiple colors flew everywhere and her hair became a wild mess. I’d also knocked her extremely skimpy top off, leaving her breasts exposed. Let’s just say that she was no longer amused.
“You dare harm a god!?” she yelled, and then did something I hadn’t expected. She breathed fire at me.
Thank goodness I had Gnome, because otherwise I’d be burnt toast. As it was, it hurt like hell. I barely saw Quetzalcoatl as she flew at me at incredible speed. She never reached me. Some unseen force hammered her, knocking her back. I dimly saw Ilias and Alice hitting her with everything they had magically. That staggered her, giving several monster companions of mine a chance to bum rush her. Nanabi wrapped her upper in several tails while Cindy secured her tail with her two massive claws. I felt healing magic enter me as Ilias tended to my burns.
“Let me go, you impetuous idiots!” Quetzalcoatl yelled at the monsters restraining her. “Have respect for a goddess!”
“You might as well surrender,” Alice said. “You were foolish to try to dominate the entire insect tribe alone. As powerful as you are, you can’t take us all on.”
“I… will…. Squeeze you all to death!” she raged, breaking out of Nanabi’s bind and backhanding Cindy. Ayseha swiped at Quetzalcoatl with a giant claw, but the bird god grabbed her by the neck, lifting her huge form above the ground and tossing her away as if she was a very large bag of garbage.
“Ah, perfect timing!” Tezcatlipoca exclaimed as she appeared. “Hey, Klutzcoatl! I’m going to finish you off this time!”
“Taking advantage of me while I’m weak?!” Quetzalcoatl yelled. “I still have more than enough strength to skin a stupid cat!”
My companions and I were forgotten as the two ancient monsters brawled, not even bothering with magic, determined to tear each other limb from limb. The two teleported away in mid combat.
“Well, that was painful to watch,” Queen Bee observed. “I can’t believe we let those two idiots dominate us.”
“Well if you two are determined to stop this war, I guess we can leave the details of the negotiation to you,” I said.
“if those two idiots show up again, please don’t hesitate to let us know,” Alice added.
“Don’t worry,” Priestess assured us. “Now we’ve seen that they can be defeated. Unless they have help, we will send them back to wherever they came from if they try to cause trouble among us again. Queen Bee, our petty grievances towards each other pale in comparison to this threat. You may stay on Red Mountain if you and your people wish to, but Plansect is your home. I would be honored if you would return to it.”
“I only wish we could have settled our differences without so many dying,” Queen Bee replied. “Thanks to the hero and his companions, we finally have a chance to make a lasting peace. If there’s anything, and I mean anything, that I can do to repay you….”
“That won’t be necessary,” Alice quickly interjected. “Luka’s got enough monsters trying to thank him. You’ll have to wait in line. Maybe in ten years he’ll be available.”
“I shall wait,” Queen Bee said. “It will give me more time to plan.”
“Monsters,” Promestein said sourly.

With Plansect resolved, we decided to go to Yamatai. That involved me teleporting the group back to Grand Noah, and then proceeding west to Yamatai, saving us a couple of days. I recalled that the first time I had traveled to Yamatai, Alice and I had walked up the mountain range at a point where it was passable. But Sonya, whose intelligence work was first rate as always, informed us that there was a tunnel through the mountains that had been built to facilitate travel. One of the many recent fruits of the improvement in monster/human relations since Ilias had disappeared. That would make things easier.
We traveled in a good sized group to minimize trouble. Alice, Ilias, Sonya, myself, Sara, Promestein, and to both my and Ilias’ delight, Victoria, who had been longing for a purpose other than competing in the coliseum. It had taken some time to get Victoria to believe that Ilias was actually the goddess, but once Ilias had sufficiently cursed her out for her lack of faith until her ears had turned red, Victoria had been convinced. Apparently no one could use profanity as well as the Goddess when she was displeased. Ilias was to profanity what a succubus was to sex, conjugating F-bombs in increasingly creative ways.
“So if you don’t believe I’m the Goddess, just who in Fucktopia do you think I am?!” had been the argument that had won Victoria over, as I recall. She could have just asked me to make her full sized, but goddesses do not think as normal people do. It’s no fun if you have to PROVE you’re who you say you are. Ilias wanted faith from her followers.
The trip through the tunnel was easy, as expected. This area wasn’t really known for predator monsters. The people of Yamatai had been living in peace with, and even worshipping the region’s monsters, long before it was fashionable. The only ones that they had to worry about somewhat were the lamias, but the lamia community enjoyed the adulation so much that they didn’t wish to ruin a good thing. They had plenty of access to semen, they just couldn’t go around swallowing people whole. Something which Alice had taught me wasn’t strictly necessary for any monster to survive and thrive.
Bur we didn’t actually make it out of the tunnel into the Yamatai subregion before blundering into a mission. Remember those missing minotaurs? Well, we ran into a minotaur searching through the tunnels for her sisters. I’d always admired that race. They had incredible bodies, rippling with muscle, enormous breasts that produced delicious milk, and they were outstanding warriors. Among the beasts, their strength was unparalleled. They weren’t always the brightest bunch, however.
“Excuse me,” the minotaurus girl asked, finding us rather than us finding her. “Do you know where the entrance to the party is?”
“Party?” Alice asked, very confused.
“I have here an invitation to a sukiyaki party,” the minotaurus, who introduced herself as Mina, explained. “I didn’t go with my fellow cows because I had to work, but now that it’s finally my weekend I decided to join them. I just wish I could find the place.”
“Let me see that,” Alice demanded. Mina handed the invitation over. Alice quickly scanned it.
“This party was five days ago!” Alice said irritably. “Did you know your sisters are missing?”
“Why would you assume they are missing?” Mina asked. “They aren’t missing, they are at this sukiyaki party!”
“For the last five days?!” Alice asked. “What kind of idiot are you that you’d believe that?!”
“Hah!” Mina laughed. “Shows what you know. Minotaurs can feast on sukiyaki for weeks!”
I hadn’t ever heard of such a thing, but I could easily picture Alice feasting on sukiyaki for weeks. Visiting Earth with her was always an issue where all you can eat buffets were concerned. Alice had nearly singlehandedly put a Golden Corral near my home out of business. I often had to drag her away from the buffet table by her tail after six hours of nonstop stuffing her face. So Alice of all people shouldn’t have been shocked. The more disturbing issue was why cow monsters ate beef, but when I thought about it, I realized that minotaurs were part human, part cow. All monsters were part human. And yet many ate humans. So why shouldn’t part cow monsters eat cows?
“Oh, you’re making my head hurt,” Alice said. “There are directions on this invitation. You were supposed to take the left passage at the three way junction a mile back.”
Indeed, there had been a three way junction, with only one passage marked helpfully, saying “Yamatai”, with an arrow pointing downward over the center passage. Where the left and right passages went, none of us knew or particularly cared. But now it seemed that we had stumbled upon one of Alma Elma’s side quests.
So we all walked back to the three way junction and took the left passage, which didn’t lead very far. There was an entrance to what looked like a separate facility built into the mountain, possibly a place for travelers to rest if needed. We knew that at the moment, however, that facility was being used to hold minotaurs. For what purpose, we could not know, but there was one thing we did know.
“Okay, folks,” Alice said as we prepared to storm the place. “We don’t know what’s behind this door, but we do know one thing. It’s definitely not a sukiyaki party.”
“I’m pretty sure it is,” Mina insisted.
“Then you’re an idiot,” Alice retorted. “That invitation was clearly a trap. People have been disappearing all over this world for unexplained reasons. Behind that door is the reason the minotaurs disappeared. And it damned sure isn’t a sukiyaki party!”
“Well, let’s find out what we’re in for,” I urged.
“Luka, test the door,” Alice said. “I don’t see an enchantment on it, but some are so subtle they are hard to see. But you can go right past those kinds of enchantments.”
I was glad to have something I was better at than anyone else, aside from obliterating things. I reached for the door and touched the knob. I felt no tingling. I shook my head at Alice.
“No enchantment? Maybe it only keeps the minotaurs in,” Alice mused. “Yes, that’s logical. They would want the minotaurs to be able to easily enter, but not easily leave”
“Why use an enchantment when they could just give us beef bowls?” Mina asked.
“Because there are no beef bowls in there!” Alice insisted. “No beef bowls! None! No sukiyaki! No candy, no cupcakes, no steak, no prime rib, no rice balls, not even a potato! You wait out here.”
“But I want sukiyaki!” Mina protested.
“If there actually is sukiyaki, we’ll bring you a triple portion, okay?” Sonya offered. “But please, you might be the last of your village. If we don’t come out, please leave here and get help. You’re your village’s last hope.”
Mina reluctantly agreed, certain that we were all mad. Alice nodded to me and I opened the door. We all rushed in through the doorway, weapons drawn to find…. Almost forty minotaurs seated at tables eating beef bowls.
“Holy fucking shit!” Ilias yelled. “It really is a sukiyaki party!”
“Did someone say sukiyaki?” Mina asked, elbowing her way past us to join her fellow villagers.
“Surface dwellers will put their lives on hold simply to eat?” Victoria asked.
“Apparently, the pleasure of eating is as irresistible as sexual pleasure to a lot of surface dwellers,” Promestein explained.
“I need to try some of that,” Alice said. “I need to find out what’s so delicious that it’s kept these minotaurs eating almost non stop for five days!”
“I’ll join you!” Ilias exclaimed, and the goddess and Monster Lord rushed to the serving area to get beef bowls of their own.
“I’m very disappointed in them,” Promestein said. “Don’t they realize the food could be enchanted?”
“Those two never think before they shove things in their mouths,” Sonya said. “Anyway, we don’t need them at the moment. Nobody is attacking us. Let’s have a look around.”
Looking around didn’t tell us much. To all appearances, everything seemed normal, or at least normal by the voracious standards of monsters. The sukiyaki was so good that none of the minotaurs propositioned me, despite not having had semen for days. Sonya couldn’t get any useful information out of them, other than “mmmm…. Good.”
So we explored further. The facility was much larger than we’d expected. It didn’t look like a rest stop as I had first assumed. It appeared to have been built especially for minotaurs, judging by the reinforced benches and tables and the maze like passages that led away from the main dining area. For some reason, minotaurs loved mazes, even though they weren’t very good at finding their way around, as Mina had proven, failing to follow very simple directions to the party.
I was seeing a greater variety of minotaurus girls than I had ever seen in my life. Mina was the most typical kind, large, muscular, and busty. But I also saw more slim minotaurs, even skinny, wiry minotaurs. Then there were minotaurs even larger than Mina, who surprisingly weren’t warriors, having grown too old for battle. They’d also grown a bit overweight, with most of that weight seeming to have gone straight to their chest and face. I found myself very attracted to those types, having developed an affinity for older women as I aged. One in particular noticed me and winked at me. She was dressed in kitchen attire, which told me that she was probably helping with the sukiyaki party’s food prep. I thought that it might be worth recruiting her, given that we could always use kitchen help. The fact that I found her absolutely irresistible didn’t hurt. I’d serve myself on a platter for her without hesitation. One serving of Luka Bowl, coming up!
After quite a bit of wandering around, we finally found a stairway that led upstairs. Sara had been guiding us through the maze, as she had a knack for such things. Even Promestein couldn’t seem to navigate it as well as Sara did.
“Do we want to just let this one go, assume everything is as it seems to be, and move on?” Sonya asked. “No one here seems to have been compelled. Maybe we should just enjoy some food and head to Yamatai.”
“I took a sample of the food and while my mobile testing kits aren’t great, I can find no evidence of anything amiss with the food itself,” Promestein reported. “Sometimes a quest isn’t really a quest. Maybe this is just a sukiyaki party.”
“We should probably at least find out who is organizing this,” Sara said. “I admit it seems harmless, but until we know who’s throwing this party, we can’t be sure. Since that person wasn’t downstairs as far as we could tell, that probably means she’s upstairs.”
“She is indeed!”a voice said, as a very odd looking monster dropped down from above, blocking our access to the stairwell.
“You’re not a minotaurus girl!” Sonya said accusingly.
“Neither are you!” the monster laughed. “I am Sun Wukong, in case you haven’t heard of me.”
“Are you some kind of monkey girl?” Victoria asked.
“You got it!” Sun Wukong said.
“And why are you here?” Sonya asked.
“To take care of the same problem you’re here for, I assume,” Sun Wukong replied.
“So there is a problem?” Sara asked.
“Oh, you didn’t know? The Cow Demon Queen is gathering an army to make a play for queen of all beasts. That’s what this party was organized for.”
“Wait, so this is for recruitment?” Sara asked.
“Pretty much. Black Alice sent me here to put a stop to it. The emergence of a new beast queen is not in her interests at the moment.”
“Black Alice?!” I exclaimed, drawing my weapon. “You work for Black Alice?!”
“Hmmm, maybe I said too much,” Sun Wukong giggled. “Anyway, she particularly wants you dealt with as well, so maybe I’ll take care of two problems at once.”
Sun Wukong leaped at me from the stairs. Sonya’s club intercepted her, knocking the monkey flat.
“Oh, so it’s to be a fight, is it?” Sun Wukong said, materializing a staff in her hand and taking up a battle stance. “Then come on and beat me if you can!”
Rising to the challenge, I attacked first, using an old standby, Thunder Thrust. Sun Wukong easily parried my blow with her staff and sent me flying with a powerful flying kick. My companions attacked as well and all received similar treatment, as Sun Wukong’s staff whirled about, taking my friends out with alarming speed. Victoria and Sara managed to defend themselves against the staff, but fell anyway to Sun Wukong’s fast feet.
I got to my feet in time for Sun Wukong to fly at me again. Summoning Sylph and Gnome at the same time, I performed an impressive(for me) spinning kick that sent her flying backwards into a wall. Alma Elma’s martial arts training had paid off, although I was badly out of practice.
“Seems that you have more skills than our intelligence suggested,” Sun Wukong said, brushing herself off. “But you are still human, and male, and no matter how much you train, you’ll always be vulnerable to certain things.”
Leaping at me again, Sun Wukong shifted tactics, grabbing me by my belt buckle and spinning around to get behind me. In the process, my pants came off. I was easily lifted off the ground and flipped onto my back, where Sun Wukong pinned me with a leg across my neck and her heavy body on my chest, placing her head near my penis. I felt a ridiculsouly long tongue explore my balls. I would never get used to things like that, even though I’d been married to Alice and experienced her unique oral skills countless times.
I hadn’t even realized that I’d paused in my struggling as Sun Wukong gave a throaty chuckle and began stroking me with her hand against that tongue. Sara attempted to attack her from behind, which caused her to use my body as a springboard to kick Sara back down again. Sonya, also recovered, attack as well, with the same unsatisfying results. I rolled out of the way as Sun Wukong attempted to pin me again, and got to my feet.
“So what kind of monster are you?” I asked, sword in front of me, trying to keep her at a distance. “I’ve never met a monkey girl before. If you’re working for Black Alice you must be a pretty powerful monster, aside from your impressive martial arts skills.”
“Trying to figure out if it’s safe to use your power against me?” Sun Wukong laughed. “I’m afraid you won’t get any useful information out of me on that front. I admit it’s dishonorable for me to take advantage of your unwillingness to do serious harm to me, but Black Alice would be quite peeved if I failed to defeat you because I’d given you the information you needed to prevail against me. No, you’re going to have to beat me the hard way, hand to hand. Or you could surrender to my tongue. You’ll find that it’s just as agile as the rest of me. I won’t even kill you. I’ll make you a slave to me. Black Alice would let me keep you as a semen slave. Why not surrender, and enjoy a lifetime of pleasure with me?”
“You’re not bad, but I’ve had better,” I said, stepping forward and performing a Death Sword Chaos Star for the first time in forever. I executed it well, but Sun Wukong was too quick and agile, blocking every strike, even taking the time to put Victoria back down. Promestein foolishly chose to finally get involved in the fight, picking up Victoria’s great sword and clumsily swinging it. Sun Wukong swept her feet out from under her and turned back to me, staff and feet striking at me with perfect precision. But with Sylph and Gnome summoned, I was able to evade most of it, and endure it when she connected.
My companions were clearly no match for her and I was beginning to wish that they’d just stay down, as Sun Wukong barely even looked at them as she knocked them down, all while still attacking me. I had to turn the battle in my favor, or I would have to risk using my power. She worked for Black Alice, and her stated intent was to enslave me. I had more than enough justification to blast her, although I hoped not to kill her in the process. But I hadn’t used all of my cursed sword techniques yet.
“Demon Decapitation!” I shouted foolishly. Sun Wukong easily evaded the clumsy move. While it hadn’t been a true feint, it wasn’t the attack I’d placed my hopes in.
“Lightning Sword Flash!” I said silently, invoking Sylph in my heart. The power of wind infused my sword and thrust at my opponent. That one was too fast, even for Sun Wukong. My sword went right through her. The carefree look on her face evaporated as Angel Halo penetrated her body. That should have sealed her, but as I suspected she was a very powerful monster. It wouldn’t be enough.
“Earth Rumbling Decapitation!” I said again silently, for Gnome, who responded at once. I leaped into the air, bringing my sword down on the staggered Sun Wukong’s head. That ended it. While she wasn’t sealed, the two extremely powerful blows had taken all the fight out of her. My friends had also all recovered, and surrounded her. Breathing hard and barely able to stand upright, she decided the fight was over.
“It appears that I may have eaten too much sukiyaki,” Sun Wukong said. “Perhaps you did me a favor here. I was going to challenge the cow demon queen, but maybe I wasn’t up to it as stuffed as I am. In any case, our goals are the same. I will leave it to you to stop her, then.”
Mustering what strength she had left, Sun Wukong leaped over us and headed back towards the party.
“Is she going to solve her problem by eating even more?” Sonya asked.
“Her skill was considerable,” Victoria said. “I have never faced anyone that quick or agile. I am a power fighter myself. But you, Luka, once again you prevailed. Truly you are the most valiant warrior I have ever seen!”
I wasn’t sure I liked the way Victoria was looking at me. Oh well, at least she isn’t a monster, she can probably be dissuaded if that’s what’s on her mind, I thought. What was it about me and warrior women?
“Is everyone okay?” I asked.
“Just some bruises,” Sonya reported. “Nothing I can’t heal when we get to Yamatai and have a chance to rest. So are we gonna go up there and kick this cow demon’s ass?”
“I guess so,” I said. “The good news, Victoria, is that I doubt she’ll be as annoyingly quick and bouncy as Sun Wukong was. But I bet she’ll be big and strong.”
“Taking down giants is my specialty,” Victoria said proudly.
“As a beast, she’ll be weak to pleasure attacks,” Sara said. “Maybe I can use my succubus skills on her.”
“I imagine I can outsmart her,” Promestein said. “The cow monster races aren’t known for being brilliant tacticians.”
“And I’ve got a club!” Sonya said helpfully.
“Then let’s do this,” I said.

We ran upstairs, fully prepared to kick some very large butt. We were deflated to find another maze.
“Minotaurs,” Promestein said, shaking her head.
We spent the next hour navigating the maze. At least getting out wouldn’t be difficult, thanks to my new confidence in my teleportation skills. By the time we found the Cow Demon Queen, the whole ordeal felt anticlimactic.
“Tremble before the might of the Queen of Beasts!” the absurdly large woman thundered.
“Okay, first off, you’re not the queen of beasts yet,” Sonya said. “Second, as big as you are, there are a lot more of us than there are of you.”
“Why do you have no bodyguards?” Sara asked, genuinely curious.
The cow demon queen sighed. “I’ve been trying to recruit an army,” she replied. “I know how much we all love beef bowl, so I lured dozens of minotaurs here by holding a sukiyaki party. But none of them want to join me! All they want to do is eat!”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said. “Any chance we can just end this peacefully, then, since your plan is already ruined?”
“Do we really need to be involved at all?” Sara asked. “The minotaurs haven’t been kidnapped. Eventually they’ll be full and wander back to their village. Why don’t we just… leave?”
“Because my plan is not ruined yet!” the cow demon queen yelled. “This has just been a setback! I’ll hold an even bigger sukiyaki party with better sukiyaki! And steak! And hamburgers!”
“Okay, good for you,” I said. “We’re just gonna go, then, while you plan it all out.”
“Do not turn your back on me!” the cow demon queen shouted. “If I just let you go, I’ll have even less credibility than I do now! I must defeat you to prove my strength!”
“Oh, do we really have to do this?” I asked. “Tell you what, how about just you and me, one on one, if I win, you give up your ambitions.”
“No!” she raged. “What do I gain from defeating one puny human! But a party of humans and angels, now that’s going to add to my reputation!”
“Well if she wants it, I say we give it to her, Luka!” Sonya said, brandishing her club.
The cow demon queen had a much bigger club and she swung it in a wide arc, scattering us all like bowling pins. She followed up by leaping into the air and coming down on top of me with a splash. If not for me summoning Gnome, I’m positive I would have been squashed. The cow demon queen was eight feet tall and had to have weighted at least five hundred pounds.
Victoria was already back on her feet and engaged the cow demon queen directly, her sword as large as the queen’s club despite Victoria’s normal sized form. Victoria had not been boasting idly about fighting well against gigantic opponents. The angel warrior’s strength was almost as great as the queen’s, and her sword was enchanted, and thus almost unbreakable. Alone, Victoria was clearly getting the better of the queen. Sonya recovered enough to “help”, but was sent flying by a backhand from the queen, as if she was an annoying gnat. Promestein was keeping her distance and firing beams of holy energy at the queen, who helpfully presented an impossible to miss target, even while directly engaged with Victoria.
I recovered in time to assist the angels, leaping in with my best move, a Death Sword Chaos Star. The queen, severely weakened by numerous deep cuts from Angel Halo, dropped to one knee. I summoned Gnome and prepared to do an Earth Rumbling Decapitation to finish the sealing, but the queen help out her palm.
“No more,” she gasped. “Your superior numbers made it an unfair fight. I am beaten.”
“But you wanted to fight all of us!” Sara protested.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” the queen said. “This fight was pointless. I was just being stubborn. You’ve won, so I’ll do what you say, hero. I will abandon my ambitions to be the queen of beasts.”
“Well that’s good,” I said. “Maybe now we can finally-“
“Ha!” Sun Wukong exclaimed, entering the cow demon queen’s lair at the center of the maze in a fighting stance. Seeing the demon queen down, Sun Wukong reconsidered.
“Oh,” Sun Wukong said. “I guess you already took care of things here. I don’t feel like fighting you guys right now, so I think I’ll go back to eating.”

I teleported my group back to the dining room. Alice and Ilias were sitting across from each other, happily stuffing their faces. Ilias was the first to notice that we’d returned.
“How’d it go? Anything interesting happen?” Ilias asked. “Oh wow, you guys are all beat up! What happened?”
I explained what had occurred to Alice and Ilias, who continued to eat while listening.
“Wow, that cow demon queen was awfully bullheaded!” Ilias observed.
“It was an udder waste of time,” Alice added helpfully.
Before any of us could retort, the cow demon queen herself teleported into the dining room.
“Everybody out!” she yelled. “party’s over!”
The queen advanced threateningly on a table of minotaurs. They all grabbed their bowls and hastily left. Alice and Ilias quickly filled their bowls with another helping of sukiyaki as well before retreating from the irate and frustrated queen.
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