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In good times and in bad	By : kruemel Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 14749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

Chapter List
- 46
- 47
- 48
@Mary: Thanks a lot, hon. :)
Chapter 47
"The Honnleath golem!" Cullen exclaims, keeping his distance in case Shale really intends to crush his head like a grape. "It talks," he adds stupidly, ogling the golem as if he has never seen it before.
"It is the brat that used to climb on me and sit on my head," Shale observes.
"Oh... yeah," Cullen chuckles, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he fondly remembers his childhood days.
"Perhaps I should sit on its head in return," Shale grumbles. "See if it still thinks this is funny then."
"Is it always so hostile?" Cullen whispers to me.
"Try treating it like a person for a change," Rori snuffles and wipes her nose at her sleeve. Chuckling I shake my head and search for my handkerchief. Why she never has one herself, I will never understand.
"Don't cry, kitten," I comfort her as I wipe her nose as if she was a child. She answers with a crooked grin despite the tears still shining in her eyes. Her lips quiver as she tries to regain her composure, which ends in her still crying and having a hiccup. Smiling softly I wrap her in my arms, sitting at the dais next to her. "What is wrong with you, Rori?"
"Nothing," she insists stubbornly, with her eyes cast down.
"Don't you feed me such nonesense. Cullen bashes you and you start crying. That's not how you are. You'd have snapped back at him. Something's been bothering you."
"Maybe I just figured, he's right," she sighs, resting her head at my shoulder.
"He is not."
She arches an eyebrow at me.
"Well not entirely," I admit. "But that's nothing that should make you cry."
She shakes her head, slightly inclining it towards Cullen still keeping his distance from Shale. "Delayed, not dismissed," I tell her and kiss the tip of her nose.
"Are you done now?" the young templar asks clearly unnerved, when I pull Rori to her feet.
"With you?" she snaps, straightening herself and stucking out her chin defiantly as she turns towards the templar. Cullen can call himself lucky she's got nothing she can throw at him at hand. "I think so."
Now, that sounds far more like Rori.
"Look, I thank you for rescuing my family but I will not pretend to be sorry for what I said," Cullen growls, leading the way downstairs without looking back. He clearly wants to get rid of us and we obediently follow him like a flock of sheep. "Get off your high horse and start thinking before you act. Life is not a bed of roses - you should know that by now, shouldn't you?"
"Your sister is so sweet. How did you turn out to become such an ass?" Rori mumbles loud enough for him to hear.
She and Cullen agree like cats and dogs.
The problem is that Rori has a rather liberal point of view when it comes to mages, while Cullen's is more than just conservative. It's quite radical - which is not much of a surprise, considering he had a superevil bloodmage mess around with his mind after said superevil bloodmage murdered all of his comrades right in front of his eyes. One probably should be real worried if Cullen wasn't responding to all this just the way he does.
Rori is far more practical. She has seen what mages can do - both good and evil. But Rori being Rori, she wouldn't do without the benefits of magic just because of the risk of something going awfully wrong. Cullen - well, he probably would rather put them all through the Rite of Tranquility.
I'm torn. I really am.
Mages like Wynne - Maker, I adore that old granny mage... despite her wicked sense of humour and her pinching my cheeks everytime she makes fun of me... but don't tell her! There'll be no living with her! Well, Wynne, she's such a sweet old lady and thinking of her, I just cannot agree with Cullen.
Then there's Morrigan. She gives me the creeps. If all mages were like her, I'd be totally pro-Cullen. Rori keeps telling me Morrigan is like a wild animal, that she just doesn't know how to behave around other people. I'd still rather cuddle a wild wolf with canine madness than trust Morrigan. She and her mother, all they ever do is manipulate and lie. I still haven't figured out, why Flemeth would help Rori and me, but it for sure was not for charity's sake. That makes it far easier not to feel guilty for having killed her afterwards. Flemeth for sure doesn't give me no sleepless nights.
Maybe I should introduce Cullen to Morrigan...
Shale and I trudge behind as not to get into the line of fire while Rori and Cullen hiss and bark at each other.
"You keep acting as if I saved Jowan!" Rori exclaims. "Becoming a Grey Warden is not a reward. He's going to pay dearly for this. I told you before, didn't I?"
"You seem quite fine to me," Cullen comments, his eyes raking over her in a way that makes me want to punch him - despite and because of his visible contempt. Rori can wrap a lot of men around her little finger - I know what I'm talking about - but Cullen is none of them.
"You have absolutely no idea," Rori mumbles gloomily.
"Can't you see how wrong this is?"Cullen cries out, stopping so abruptly, Rori runs straight into him. He grabs her by her shoulders to stop her from stumbling. "He murdered all those people and still he lives. What would you say if someone did the same with the murderer of your family?" He shakes her so forcefully he makes her teeth clatter.
"Whoa, careful!" I grab his wrist to stop him. "I happen to be rather fond of this young lady."
"So I noticed," the young templar says gloomily, his hands still resting on her shoulders. At least he has stopped shaking her.
"Fine, you're right, Ser Cullen, I wouldn't like that at all," Rori admits as she shrugs off his hands. With her fists clenched at her sides, her knuckles turning white, she fights to regain her composure. She's not very good at this at the moment. Somehow she's completely out of balance and I can't stop wondering what pushed her there. "Still, it's not the same. Jowan tried to protect his love and himself."
"And that excuses the use of blood magic in your opinion?" Cullen pushes the door that leads to the entrance hall open so forcefully that the wings crash against the wall. His hardly controlled fury makes the mages we meet scramble out of his way and hide in the shadows.
The mages are as afraid of Cullen as he is of them. One doesn't have to be a genius to figure that's not a good combination. Templars and mages equally afraid of each other... the templars trying to secure themselves and the people they have sworn to protect by becoming more and more oppressive, the mages not able to endure any more pressure, the voice of reason being suffocated by it - this is going to lead towards a catastrophe sooner or later.
"No, no, it does not. You're not listenting!" Rori cries out in exasperation. "Jowan did wrong but his motives weren't evil. And he dearly regrets all the things he did. And although he cannot make it undone, maybe he will save many people's lives as a Warden. He cannot do anything when he's dead." Rori's hackles are raised by now as well. "And he could be useful for the Grey Wardens, that being the main reason why I recuited him."
"What could he be useful for? Do the Grey Wardens use bloodmagic?" Cullen hisses, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Rori. She doesn't even bother with an answer but only glares at him piercingly.
Smart.
I'd be stammering and stuttering by now, talking myself into an early grave.
Having your body transformed into something else by drinking magically prepared darkspawn blood.
Having an ancient bloodmage continue his research ethnically but being initiated by the use of bloodmagic.
Having the daughter of infamous Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds, in your party and allowing her to use her mother's grimoire.
And poor Cullen already is rather unhappy with us when he's so absolutely clueless.
I think, we better keep him blissfully oblivious.
That's healthier for all of us.
"His motives killed many people. Don't tell me, you're that pathetic and got touched by his story about his love," Cullen sneers, hurrying down the stairs towards the cave where the boat should be waiting for us. "Lily saw him as what he really was and did not follow him when she could." Cullen's mouth is but a thin line, then he whispers in a voice hardly audible: "Love doesn't excuse anything."
The way he says that last sentence makes me prick up my ears.
"Love is a very strong sentiment, Cullen," Rori says softly. So the sorrow in his voice hasn't gone unnoticed by her.
"So you'd do the same if you were in Jowan's situation? You'd let others die to rescue your love?" Cullen demands to know, turning on his heels to face her. Whatever has touched him to soften for that brief moment, it is gone.
Rori's eyes, so full of fear, dart towards me.
Oh, kitten...
"I don't know," she whispers, voicing the confession I don't even dare to make to myself.
To lose her... I don't want to imagine it. I just can't. It's so painful that I shy away from the mere thought, although I try to prepare myself for what could become inevitable. Whenever I try to imagine life without Rori, my mind goes blank. All I can see then is darkness. I'd rather die for her than see her die.
I see my own emotions reflected in her big blue eyes now.
"And I pray to the Maker that I never have to find out," she adds, her eyes still on me. Rori's voice is so small, I can hardly hear her. But I do not have to hear her to know what she says because it's just what I would have said if Cullen had asked me instead.
"That is the wrong answer, Lady Cousland," Cullen snorts.
We all know it's the wrong answer.
Templars, Grey Wardens, we are supposed to serve. Whatever we want, whatever we feel, it shouldn't matter.
"But the only one I can truthfully give," Rori admits quietly.
"Then my prayers are with you and all who depend on you," Cullen says far softer than I would have expected from him.
There's no goodbyes, just curt nods before we climb into the boat once more. As the ferryman rows us out of the cave, Rori and I look back at Cullen standing there all alone at the steep and narrow staircase, hesitating as if he first has to search for the strength inside of him to climb it.
"He looks lost," Rori whispers. She raises a hand for a last farewell. With some delay Cullen responds to the gesture like someone who doesn't expect the world to be friendly towards him.
"He is lost," I mumble as I wrap my cloak around my trembling girl again as soon as the boat floats out of the cave into the open. The wind mercilessly whips at us and the cold bites through our clothes that get soaked by the fog.
Cullen vanishes from our sight, the darkness of the cave swallows him, reminding me once more of a monster's mouth.
"Maybe someday someone will find him."
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In good times and in bad