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Fate and Fear MST	By : Birdie Category: +A through F > Devil May Cry Views: 3879 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Devil May Cry game series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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- 5
- 6
Birdie: *cackles* so boys, all well and rested? Ready to take on the fic again? *cackles more*

Vergil: *suspicious* yes...

Dante: Birdie, why all the cackling?

Birdie: oh, you'll see. I've brought alone a special guest to suffer-- I mean join you!

Dante: uh-huh. So, who is it?

Birdie: let's just say, if I was going to be a DMC Mary Sue, I'd rather be with him than anyone else.

Dante: it's jelly!Phantom?

Birdie: *kicks Dante* NO. >_< Now get inside, you two.

Fate and Fear MST

Chapter 4.0

MSTed by Dante, Vergil and a Special Guest!

//Chapter 3: Prophetic Lust//
Sparda: oh dear, this doesn't sound too decent...

Twins: DAD?!

Dante: w-what are you doing here?! I thought you were--

Sparda: I'm on loan. Birdie pulled a few strings so I can be here with my lovely (sadistic) sons *hugs twins* and triumph over the evil that is Christianna!

Vergil: what sort of strings did Birdie pull, exactly?

Sparda: I have no idea, she was too busy staring at me in a fan-girl fashion to explain.
//The two brave warriors walked a long distance,//
Dante: i.e. 3 meters.

Vergil: (as Christianna) are we there yet?

Dante: no.

Vergil: (as Christianna) are we there yet?

Dante: no.

Vergil: (as Christianna) are we the--

Dante: *hurls Christianna away*
//down a steady hall.//
Vergil: as oppose to the usual wobbling halls she encounters during her daily drug trip.
//The light seemed to become more dim with each guiding step that they took.//
Sparda: guiding step? Has one of them suddenly become blind?

Dante: it's me, and it's all Christianna's face's fault.
//The carpet seemed to be torn and tattered,//
Vergil: but were actually in mint condition.
//and the paintings all ripped, only fragments remaining in their frames.//
Dante: hmm... I see her useless aim has travelled further than expected.
//The girl walked slowly behind Dante.//
Sparda: I need prompting, who is this girl again?

Twins: ............

Vergil: her name is Christianna, but her arcitecture friends call her Christine. She's a mouse--

Sparda: mouse?!

Vergil: yes, you heard me. Please don't interrupt, father. --and she's fallen into Mallet Island. Randomly.

Dante: she's also over-developed for a 14 year old, has purple lips, emerald windows for eyes and a pierced tongue.

Vergil: and Dante's in love with her.

Sparda: that's awful! And people thought it was strange for me to be in love with your mother...
//" So...you love me right? " She giggled,//
Sparda: no, he loves you WRONG. *chuckles to self*

Twins: *hits head against wall* old men humour...
//jumping towards him and//
Vergil: missing, falling face-first onto the stone.
//nesting herself underneath his arm. Dante sighed and rolled his eyes.//
Dante: *hollers* SEXUAL HARASSMENT!
//" Don't jump to conclusions..." He muttered.//
Dante: yeah! Go me! The only one in my eyes is Vergil!! *hugs Vergil*

Vergil: *coughs and nods towards Sparda*

Dante: ah crap. *lets go of Vergil*
//" I only said I'd help you get out of here.//
Vergil: (to Dante) no, you didn't.

Dante: shuddup! Has anything been consistent throughout this story?!

Sparda: *truthfully* OOC.

Twins: *grumbles*
//I never said anything about a relationship...." The man coughed.//
Vergil: *cough* BOLLOCKS *cough*

Dante: Verge! Why are you sticking up for HER?!

Vergil: because you're turning into a paedophilic liar!
//Christianna's eyes slowly turn downcast,//
Sparda: downcast? Similar to weather? o_O

Dante: the windows to her soul has become cloudy with angst!
//a low pitched whimper escaping her tender throat.//
Vergil: without her hourly dose of oestrogen, Christianna's voice will slower deeper to reveal...

Dante: ...she is actually a man.
//" B-but...." She started,//
Dante: (as Christianna) you KISSED me! We were going to get MARRIED! I planned on giving you my FLOWER! *cries*
//before unraveling herself from underneath his arm and//
Sparda: skipping off on a happy adventure to search for the extra "L".
//taking a few steps back,//
Vergil: tripping over a rock, developing concussion and dying.
//continuing behind him.//
Sparda: unbeknown that Phantom was planning to turn her into lunch.

Dante: with as huge breaks as hers, Phantom wouldn't find her a "disappointing catch".

Vergil: pervert.
//"......Sorry. " she replied,//
Twins: yeah! You should be, bitch!
//seeming ashamed that she//
Sparda: had an overuse of the word "seeming".
//had even asked.//
Vergil: (as Christianna) ooh! Ooh! Please, Mr Dante, can I--

Dante: (as himself) *whack* that's for asking!
//The hallways continued to get darker, as neither of them could see where they were going.//
Vergil: or possibly because the hallway was getting lighter, but they were turning blind.
//The only sounds that were heard were the sudden gusts of//
Dante: gas?
//wind through the hallways, and distant cackling of the Sins.//
Sparda: (as Sin Scissors) oh shit, baccarat! There goes all my red orbs...

Vergil and Dante: (as other Sin Scissors) *cackles* SWUAHAHAHA!!
//In a flash, the hallway went//
Sparda: lighter?
//dark.//
Sparda: oh. *looks disappointed*
//" AAH!" The girl screamed.//
Sparda: IT'S THE KNIGHTS THAT SAY "NI!"!! *nods to Monty Python and the Holy Grail*
//Her hands swiped out Ebony and Ivory and started madly slamming her fingers down on the triggers.//
Dante: but due to her uselessness, she aimed the pistols the wrong way and ended up with 30 bullets in the lungs.
//Once again, Dante//
Vergil: resorted to Tai Chi.
//had to dodge every bullet, as the walls and tapestries became totaled.//
Sparda: totalled WHAT, exactly?!

Dante: totally needless.

Vergil: like everything else in this story.
//" WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?!?!?" He screamed at the girl,//
Sparda: *sarcastically* O, what a wide vocabulary this author has.
//seeming a bit aggrivated.//
Dante: I'm in full capitals and is just a BIT aggravated?!

Vergil: aggrIvated, brother, it's with an I.

Dante: *rolls eyes*
//" If you don't stop I'm going to have to//
Dante: chop off your hands?

Vergil: resort to the death sentence?

Sparda: ship you off to spelling school?

Twins: ooh, good one, dad.

Sparda: *accepts to praises shamelessly*
//take those things away from you! ".//
Vergil: *sarcastically* and what a tragedy that will be. *rolls eyes*
//Christianna just squeaked.//
Sparda: ah, I see what you mean by "mouse"...

Dante: rodent-girl returns! Bring on the cats!
//" I'm sorry...really I am."//
Dante: suuuuuurreee you are...
//Grumbling under her breath and whining, the safely put Eb and Iv back to where they belonged.//
Dante: "Eb and Iv"?! What the fuck?! Show my guns more respect, they can blow out your brains in .7 milliseconds!

Vergil: Dante, do you still want to touch those guns after where they've been?!

Dante: ...no, you don't what you can catch off that girl...

Sparda: don't be too sad, Luce and Ombra are as good as yours!

Dante: yay! -^_^-
//" It's just an instinct. I can't help but do it.//
Vergil: just like you can't help simpering against Dante's arm while you all but expose your silicone breasts.
//When I'm scared I just seem to...."//
Dante: loose brain cells.

Vergil: and turn into a mouse.
//she started but decided that silence may have been the best thing for the moment.//
Dante: and with luck, EVERY moment from then on.
//The only sounds that could be heard now were the clicking of their shoes against the cobblestone,//
Sparda: (as TV presenter) with cobblestone flooring and concrete walls, it is no wonder the Castle on Mallet Island has won "Worst Interior Design" three centuries running...
//and the occasional swiping noise that their hands made,//
Dante: as Dante swatted Christianna's wandering hands away for the fifth time in 3 minutes.
//brushing against the walls to keep track of where they were.//
Vergil: but unfortunately, Christianna fell into a manhole and that was the end of her.
//" Stay close to me...I don't want you to get//
Dante: killed before me and Verge get to use you as a pin cushion.
//lost ".Dante stated bravely,//
Sparda: because Christianna was truly a terror beyond most minions of hell.
//reaching around in the dark for the girl's hand.//
Vergil: but ended up holding her neck and strangling her to death.
//" I didn't know your hands were so cold....//
Vergil: *sighs* oh well, looks like she has meningitis.
//but I get this feeling that this isn't YOUR hand...."//
Sparda: oh dear.

Vergil: it's someone else's hand...

Dante: or someone else's SOMETHING ELSE.

Everyone: *shudders*
//He quickly spun around and grabbed for Alastor,//
Vergil: surely "grabbed Alastor" would be enough.

Dante: no, I grabbed FOR Alastor, because that sword has a kinky obsession with cold hands.
//twirling it around in the air,//
Sparda: Dante! This is a time for massacre, not to show off the baton tricks you learned in band camp!

Dante: *sulks*
//sending a bolt of light through the room that light it up as bright as day.//
Vergil: and thus, everyone went blind and developed skin cancer.
//Surrounding the couple was a whole horde of Marionettes.//
Twins: *sarcastically* OOH! It's the weakest enemy in the entire DMC trilogy! We're so SCARED!
//Christianna shrieked.//
Dante: (as Christianna) EWWW! RAGS! Omg, that is like, SOOOOOOOO last century!! You FREAKS, get the hell AWAY from me!
//" EEYAH!" She screamed,//
Sparda: because the readers do not have the IQ to realise what a shriek sounds like.
//thrusting out Dante's guns and rapidly firing at the enemies.//
Sparda: this girl has a repetition tendency...

Twins: you think THIS is bad?! We've been here for FOUR freakin' chapters!!
//Brown blood splattered onto the concrete walls//
Vergil: *throws fit*

Dante: okay Verge, calm down... nothing wrong with concrete walls... *soothes Vergil*
//as they dissintegrated.//
Sparda: into a pile of badly-spelled heap of wood.
//Backflipping the bullets,//
Everyone: what the fuck?!

Sparda: like a pancake, maybe...?
//Dante dashed towards the marionettes. With great skill he//
Sparda: made his sentences longer.
//sliced through them.//
Dante: can't I just use Round Trip? It gets the job done and I can do something else in the meantime.
//Between firing the guns off, the poor child looked in awe at Dante. His arms seemed to swell with//
Sparda: money?

Vergil: botox?

Dante: *hits Vergil*

Sparda: now children, play nice...
//such strength.//
Vergil: *muttering* if he's so strong HE'D be the seme...

Sparda: what's this?

Vergil: *immediately* nothing, father.
//Fiery eyes of his seemed to//
Vergil: burn her like a witch at stake.
//hold many mysteries behind them.//
Dante: I've been hanging around Christianna too long -- I'm turning into her!!
//He rushed the other direction,//
Vergil: planning to watch Christianna be ripped apart by the useless puppets as he sipped on Diet Coke.
//his heart pounding, as he continued to decapitate the bloody marris.//
Dante: bloody "marris"?!

Sparda: (as tannoy) "Bloody Marris"! The non-existent cousins of the Bloody Maries! Guaranteed to make your heart pound!
//Backstepping each time,//
Sparda: the second move in the backflipping combo.
//his new partner//
Dante: the Mary-Sue-Terminator 4000.
//kept firing, sending little bolts of light through the room from the gunblasts.//
Vergil: really? I thought they were flashes from her windows!
//Soon the room was empty but the two of them,//
Vergil: were still alive. They cursed their existence.
//and the air smelled like sulphur.//
Dante: Mallet Island is on top of an active vulcano! It's Versuvius all over again!
//It just so turned out that Dante's hunch was right.//
Vergil: he SHOULD have killed her when they were in that dark hallway.
//Her reflexes DID//
Dante: piss him off to no end.
//come in handy. " Are you alright? " He shouted to her from accross the//
Sparda: the pre-school classroom, before the English teacher hit him with her ruler.
//hallway, sliding Alastor back into it's sheath and rushing over to her.//
Dante: maybe I SHOULD get a sheath instead of sticking the swords onto my back. Once it got to something like the Sparda sword, my chiropractor's bills started to hit the roof...
//" Y-yeah...I think so." She replied,//
Vergil: not noticing the impressively large puddle of blood gather where her liver was.

Dante: oh well, no biggie.
//dusting herself off and straightening her bra.//
Sparda: ...is that truly necessary?

Dante: of course, it's been 3 minutes without a description about how amazingly beautiful she is.
//" Good. Now//
Twins: DIE!!
//STAY CLOSE! I don't want you wandering off that far behind ever again. I don't want to l--.....don't want you to get hurt." Dante didn't want to admit it.//
Sparda: but he was co-dependent.

Vergil: and a sexaholic.

Dante: stop it!! >_<
//He'd never met a girl quite like this one.//
Dante: and I hope I never will!
//Even though he wasn't ready to tell her that he liked//
Sparda: his brother more than anyone else.

Dante: O_O you know about... me and Vergil?

Sparda: your incestuous tendencies? Yes. Your mother told me.

Vergil: h-how did she--?

Sparda: she's your mother! She knows everything about you from allergies to sexual preferences. I think it comes naturally but I never asked...

Dante: so... can jump Vergil in front of you?

Sparda: ...yes, but DISCREETLY.

Twins: yay!

Dante: *jumps onto Vergil's lap and wiggles around for a bit*

Sparda: ...any other parent would find this odd...
//her a hell of a lot, he liked her.//
Vergil: and he likes repetition too.
//Each time he gazed into her eyes his heart raced.//
Sparda: poor Dante, if this carries on you'll suffer heart attack. This girl makes Mundus' reign on earth pure utopia.
//It was an incredible feeling that not even Trish had been able to give him.//
Dante: urgh! Trish looks like my mom! That's revolting! I may be sleeping with my brother but I draw the line at Oedipus Complex!
//" A-alright. Is this ok with you? "//
Vergil: oh crap. *grabs bucket, just in case*
//She weakly smiled at him, grabbing onto his arm and nuzzeling against it.//
Twins: *stares* what the fuck?

Sparda: but as Dante shifted his arm, his elbow banged straight into Christianna's mouth and that was the end of all her teeth...
//" If it makes me feel more secure that you won't wonder off, then yes. " He chuckled, somewhat enjoying her close presence this way. //
Vergil: easier to touch = easier to mutilate.
//Christine held him tighter, smiling to herself.//
Dante: (as Christine) yeah! I got me a real MAN!
//Satisfied, the two continued to walk down the hallway together.//
Sparda: but it was so dark they couldn't see where they were going and walked off a ledge.

Dante: dad!! Do you want me to DIE?!

Sparda: aren't you smart enough to use Alastor's air-raid and fly back up!?

Dante: ...yes?
//It seemed to twist and turn, the portraits on the wall and the carpet seeming to change around every turn.//
Dante: hmmm... Mundus doesn't seem to like consistency.

Sparda: yes... he thinks it's funnier on a hallucinogenic trip if every carpet and painting was different.
//The gargoyles ontop of the pilliars that held the building up//
Dante: I thought PILLARS held buildings up.

Vergil: you'd be correct in thinking so... except on Mallet Island.
//seemed to watch them with cold eyes of stone.//
Vergil: as oppose to warm eyes of flesh and blood? There are real gargoyles there?

Dante: Christianna must have got them mixed up with those giant flies that shoot larvae.
//As if they were plotting something, ready to report to their master.//
Gargoyle1: dude! Who's that harlot with Dante?

Gargoyle2: wow, Vergil's going to FLIP when he finds out!

Gargoyle1: hey, I know! Why don't we use this to blackmail Dante! Let's go tell Mundus!

Gargoyle2: but what if that's VERGIL in the mini-skirt?

Vergil: *hits Gargoyle2* don't bet on it... >_<
//" So...what exactly ARE we looking for...??"//
Dante: your guillotine, of course.
//The girl asked her savior,//
Vergil: who will soon be her executioner also.
//with a great tone of confusion in her voice. "......" Dante fell silent.//
Sparda: *truly amazed* Dante fell silent!!

Dante: -_-;; not you too...
//".....We're looking for a crystal. It's called the Pyramia Diamond."//
Twins: *sarcastically* OOOH!! *waves hands idiotically*

Birdie: well guys, how was it? *grins at Sparda in a fan-girlie fashion*

Twins: *drag Birdie away quickly*

Vergil: Birdie! Why did you invite our father?

Birdie: because I wanted to see what'll happen.

Dante: how can you think our dad is hotter than us?!

Birdie: because of the DMC3 purple outfit. He was so very FIT. *drools*

Vergil: "if I was going to be a DMC Mary Sue, I'd rather be with him than anyone else." Birdie, Sparda's MARRIED!!

Birdie: I never said Mary Sues had to choose relationships inside the laws of social norms. Besides, I'd never be a Mary Sue. Don't worry, I won't do anything to him, or with him. And if the readers don't like Sparda presence, he'll be gone in the next chapter and forever. So vote! But now, the reviews...

Jade Tokier: yeah... wacko_dante is great. Say... what are the chances of him reading this? Very slim, I think. Anyway, thanks for liking this! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Cas: I really like that site, because you can download the theme tune and stuff. It's just the fics that aren't so good. Christine doesn't know I'm doing this (won't she be surprised when she finds though? ~_^). Vergil is in the final chapter. Is it NeLo Angelo or NeRo Angelo?

Silver Wolf: I'm obsessed with Dante and Yaoi too. Loved the script at the end of the review, that was very cute. ^_^ when I was 14 the girls weren't all sluts (though I can pick out a handful). Not that I noticed girls in lower years, but we always thought they were worse. Anyway, I'm from a university city in England, so there were a lot less sluts. Hope you liked the chapter!

Corenn: if English wasn't your first language, what is? Parler-vous le francais? God, I hope that was right. But your English is very good, apart from the bizarre analogies ("laughing like a horse" ???). You're 14?! *sarcastically* Get off this site you under-aged!! *laughs* just joking. ^_^ Isn't the age of consent in Italy 14 years old? Have a nice day!
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Fate and Fear MST