Barflies

“WAAAADE!” Allerdyce whined.

“What?!” The frustrated goblin asked.

“I’m hungry!”

“Fine!” Wade declared, flinging a menu at Allerdyce. “Just pick something already, you’re driving me nuts! You’re not the only customer here you know!”

Allerdyce looked around the bar. “I’m not?”

“No! I’m positive Crane is in the bathroom doing who knows what, and I saw Rob and Bill go in there not too long ago.”

“Together?”

“Yes…”

“You don’t think that’s strange?”

“No, I try not to think too much about what people do when they go in the bathroom Alley.”

“Wade?”

“WHAAAAT?!”

“I’ll have the Deep Six burger with fries.”

Wade grumbled as he wrote down the order.

“How do you want it cooked?”

“Does it really matter? He’s going to cook it medium rare like he ALWAYS does.”

“Hey, you want a quality meal, go to a real restaurant; this is a bar that just happens to serve food.”

“Wade, you’re probably the most honest goblin I know”

“Shut up and drink your beer Alley…”

“You’re the boss!” Allerdyce declared as he began quaffing his brew.

Bill and Rob came out of the restroom and headed towards their table, Allerdyce couldn’t resist…

“Did he kiss you on the cheek after he finished Bill?”

“Fantasizing again Alley?”

“Oh yes, you know how seeing an orc taking it up the back door gets my gears going.”

“I bet it does, all you crumplies are alike, can’t take a shot unless it’s in the back of your throat.”

“Wait ‘till your mother hears about that! I’ll make sure to tell her while she’s swallowing future generations of my bloodline!”

Bill merely flipped him the bird and sat down at his table.

“ALLEY!” he could only rub his forehead as he knew who had just called his name. The blur of gnome streaking across the room to take up residence in his normal stool.

“What?”

“We’re doing Warsong Gulch tonight!”

“I hate Warsong Gulch…”

“You hate all that is good and pure in this world Alley! But tonight we take on Orgrimmar Mega Moo! Those guys have been cleaning house in WSG!”

“If by cleaning house you mean turtling like a pack of fairies and waiting for their opponents to die of boredom, then yes, they’re quite formidable.”

“It’s a sound strategy Alley, at least give them that.”

“That’s like saying prostitution is a viable career. Sure, you’re making money, but at the end of the day, you’re still sucking cock.”

“Eeew!”

“What time is this debacle starting?”

“Seven-ish, Dixon said to be there around six-thirty though so he can go over strategy.”

“I like Dixon”

“You do?! I swear you say you hate him every chance you get” Roderick stated.

“Yes! I like him because he has the word ‘dick’ right in his name, saves me the trouble of having to add it in the sentence later on.”

Wade plunked Allerdyce’s food down in front of him; the mage reached for the ketchup bottle and began applying it to his burger and fries.

“Oooh! That makes me hungry! Wade, I want the chicken finger platter!”

Wade nodded and filled out another order.

“NAAAAADER!” Allerdyce shouted, the door to the kitchen flew open and out stepped the cook. The worgen simply wore an apron around his waste, he stalked up to Allerdyce, his blood red eyes focused on the human mage. “My fries are cold. Can I get some fresh ones?” The worgen snatched his plate up and stalked off into the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

“You know he’ll probably spit on your burger now” Wade commented.

“Impossible, dogs can’t spit.”

“PLEASE do not refer to Nader as a dog. He’s already got enough hang-ups, I don’t want to spend the next six hours convincing him that the world doesn’t think he’s a dog.”

“I’m sorry, but if it hikes its leg to pee, it’s a dog…”

The Warsong Gulch match had been going on for a record seven hours and remained tied 2-2. Both teams were in full on guard mode, neither wishing to venture out of their base to attempt capture of the other team’s flag.

“This is boring…” Allerdyce whined.

“Please shut up… PLEASE!” Dixon muttered.

“Alley I have an idea!” Roderick declared.

“Why do my balls tense up every time you say that? It’s like they know something bad is going to happen to them…”

“Oh pishaw! Crane! You come too!”

The night elf rose from his corner and stalked up to Roderick.

“Know this gnome… “, He stated ominously, “I am not afraid to die for my beliefs!”

“Crane… it’s just a game…” Roderick said.

“Life is a game little one!”

“Whatever! Just follow me!”

The three peered over the edge into the horde base. Inside two taurens could be seen playing cards in one corner, in the other three males sat and watched as two females, a forsaken and a troll were dancing. The remaining members of the team were scattered around the flag room.

“Ready Alley?”

“Hell no! If you think I’m going down there alone you’re fucking NUUUUUUUUTS!” Allerdyce screamed as he was pushed off the ledge into the room below. With a thud he hit the ground in the middle of the tauren card game. He muttered a chain of profanity before starting to rise to dust himself off. The entire room was focused on him.

“He’s got a pair of eights” Allerdyce said, pointing to the one tauren, who threw his hand of cards down in frustration.

“Are you lost little mage?” The orc warrior asked as he sauntered towards Allerdyce.

“Nope, judging by the sights and smells, I’m right where I should be.”

“Cute, any last words before I start dissecting you with hostility?”

“One sec please…” Allerdyce reached into his robe and produced a paper. “Ok, let’s see… Thrall’s a fag, I bent Sylvanas over a bench and railed her in the pooper, Cairne is Taurahe for ‘retard’, if you cross an orc and a rock you get a troll, if you cross a troll and a rock you get a tauren, and if you cross a tauren and a furbolg you get his mother...” Allerdyce said, pointing towards an orc shaman, “…but with less back hair. She’s a slut, she’s a whore, she humped him with a strap-on, I have pics, you’re gay, you’re gay, you’re PROBABLY gay, and you… actually you’re kinda cool, though I don’t know how a fatass tauren like you can squeeze into leather armor like that, but turning into a bear, that’s cool.” The effect was predictable; every member of the horde team began closing in brandishing all manner of angry looking weaponry. “WAIT!” Allerdyce shouted, everyone paused. “I forgot to say ‘horde sucks at PvP’” Allerdyce threw up a double bird salute and a wave of frost flew out from him, freezing everyone in their tracks. Roderick dropped down from the ceiling and seized the flag, Crane followed behind, grabbing Allerdyce and slinging him over his shoulder as he muttered something about “snogging” and “tea time”. The three ran for home base as fast as they could. However, upon reaching their flag room, they found their flag had disappeared.

“Oh what the fuck is going on?!” Allerdyce shouted.

“A druid stole the flag!” Crane shouted as he turned to run out of the room in pursuit.

“Roderick! You find a place to hide and DON’T lose that flag or I’ll beat you for a week with any blunt object I can wield!”

Roderick winced and looked for a place to hide.

Shahnoon stalked around the Alliance base looking for any sign of their flag. She was cranky and bored, wanting only to end the game one way or another.

“Gilda, we need to end this A.S.A.P.! I’m bored, tired, I need a drink, and I’m horny as hell!” The succubus behind her giggled.

“Does that mean I’ll be eating orc again tonight?”

“Only if nothing else shows up…”

“Aww, you know I find you delicious!”

“Like you have a choice!” She chuckled

Roderick was reciting the alphabet in gnomish backwards to keep himself entertained when the silence was broken.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here!” Shahnoon chided.

“And he has our fwag too!” Gilda pouted in baby talk.

“Naughty gnome, you shouldn’t steal from orcs, we tend to do HORRIBLE things to thieves!”

Roderick was wide eyed like a doe in a hunter’s sights.

“Wait! It’s not what it looks like! I mean it is… but it isn’t! I mean it’s just a game right?! I mean that’s what we’re supposed to do right?! I mean don’t hurt me!” Roderick piped in an ever increasing tempo.

“Holy mother of Thrall! Calm down little man!” Shahnoon said with a touch of pity in her voice. “I was just joking!”

“Sounds like someone’s a little too tense!” Gilda added.

“You think?” Shahnoon asked.

“Oh yes, he’s definitely got backed up pipes! I can tell from here!” Gilda said as she licked her lips.

“Mmmm, I like how you think!” Shahnoon winked at her. “Ok little man, we’ll make you a deal...” Shahnoon said to the fearful gnome, “We won’t hurt you if you do us a little favor?”

“W-what favor?” he asked.

“Fuck me and my pet here silly.”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me, knock boots, bump uglies, bone, however you say it. Make our kitties purr and we’ll let you go.”

“O-ok…” Roderick seemed to concede.

Gilda immediately pounced on him, locking lips with the startled gnome, her tongue invading his mouth forcefully to swirl around his. Her hand ran down his chest to slip under the waist of his pants. Roderick almost seemed to be struggling to stop the sex demon as she unbuttoned his pants and moved down to engulf his penis in one swift movement.

“Good lord lady! What’s the ruuuuuuuugh” he grunted, she was REALLY good!

“Don’t forget about me sweetie, there are two of us to please. Shahnoon said as she straddled his head, looking up her robe he could see that she wasn’t wearing any panties; her sex was already damp as she lowered it to his face. “Ahhh” she sighed, “I forgot how nice chin hair feels on the ol’ pussy, tickles so nice!” Gilda giggled around her mouthful of gnome meat, her tail swaying back and forth as she suckled. “Bloody hell! He’s got a tongue on him!” she declared. “OH! The little bastard is really laying into my clit! I think I might actually cum soon!” she said in disbelief. Gilda swatted her on the rump, Shahnoon reached back to bat her on the shoulder, “Don’t HELP him!”

After several minutes, Gilda broke the “silence” of their lovemaking.

“He’s all nice and hard for you mistress! I bet you he cums a gallon!”

“He better not! He’s still gotta fuck you!”

“Bah, I’ll settle for sloppy seconds if I have to!”

“You’re so naughty!”

“You love it!”

“You know I do!”

Shahnoon rose up off Roderick’s head, the gnome gasping for fresh, cool air.

“Wow you orcs sure are spicy! I’ve had beef jerky that wasn’t as saltyeeeeeeeh!” he squeaked as she mounted him, impaling herself in one swift motion. “Oh wow! How can someone so big be so tight?!” He pondered out loud.

“We orcs pride ourselves on the strength of our muscles silly!” She mocked.

“Then why don’t you show me how strong that tongue of yours is mistress?” Gilda asked as she stepped over Roderick to place her sex in front of Shahnoon’s face.

“Oh? You want a tongue lashing? I’m happy to oblige!” Shahnoon said as she gripped Gilda’s hips, burying her face in the Succubus’ snatch.

“Oh! Ooooooh!” Gilda cooed. Roderick watched as Shahnoon’s tongue darted out of her mouth to swipe along, and into Gilda’s wet hole. Gilda grabbed handfuls of her mistress’ hair as she bucked against her maw. “Ugh! Fuck! Yeah! Lick it!” she grunted. Roderick could only stare in awe at the sight above him, almost forgetting the pussy wrapped around his cock, until it squeezed him back down to reality.

“My turn mistress! I haven’t had a cock, a REAL cock in me for so long!”

“You liar! I saw you fucking Kruk the other day!”

“But he’s a felhound! I mean a MAN!”

“He he he “, she giggled “ok, your turn!” Shahnoon declared as she dismounted Roderick. She wasn’t as tight as Shahnoon, but her insides were much hotter, almost painfully warm. Shahnoon moved to Gilda’s side and began kneading the succubus’ breasts as they shared a deep, noisy tongue kiss

“Oh! Oh!” Roderick shouted, “I’m going to cum!”

“That’s it baby! You fill her up real nice! She loves it!” Shahnoon said.

“Yes! Pump all that boy juice into my tight little pussy! Make me squeal!” Gilda taunted.

“UUUUUGH!” Roderick grunted, his balls jumping up as they emptied their contents, sperm flowing freely into the tunnel of the sex demon. Gilda’s eyes began glowing brightly as he orgasmed, she looked down at him with a smile.

“Sucker!” she taunted, as the blackness set in on Roderick.

“Roderick!”

“RODERICK!” the gnome’s eyes fluttered open.

“Wha-what happened?” he asked.

“You lost the flag you worthless toolbag! And we lost the match!” Allerdyce shouted.

“I’m sorry Alley! I don’t remember what happened!”

“By the looks of it you got knocked the fuck out! You’ve been out for the past two hours! I was getting ready to look through your pockets for any loose cash.” Allerdyce teased.

“Your concern is touching Alley…” Roderick said sarcastically. “I’m sorry I lost the match…”

“Ah, who cares, it’s just a game, and to be honest I’m just glad it’s finally OVER! Now we can leave this hell hole!”

“But still, we coulda won!”

“Fuck it, let’s go to the Grave, I’ll buy the first round.” Allerdyce said.

Wade was wiping off the table when the door to the kitchen creaked open.

“That you Nader?”

The soft clacking of toenails on hardwood floor was a giveaway.

“I’ll be ready to leave in a second, just have to clean off this last table. I swear Bill and Rob wipe their boogers on this table on purpose!” Wade grumbled. A pair of hands circled around his chest from behind, scooping the little goblin up. “A little impatient are we?” Wade teased. The worgen silenced him with a deep kiss. Wade’s hands reached up to caress the worgen’s head, one hand scratching behind Nader’s ear. Finally he broke it off. “You give the best kisses in all of Azeroth! I just melt like butter when you do that!” Wade said. “C’mon you big lump, let’s go upstairs!”

Nader carried Wade up to their apartment. Wade owned the entire building, buying it with just a portion of his inheritance, he was far wealthier than he showed, but was happy to be a bartender and just mingle with his friends. The apartment was well furnished, comfy couches sat in front of a brick fireplace, a kettle hanging over the already lit fire, he assumed Nader had prepared it before coming down to “fetch” him. The snow white worgen was the love of his life, a big, soft, quiet protector. While others were uneasy around Nader, Wade was completely comfortable in the arms of his lover.

Nader tossed Wade onto their comfy bed, the goblin rolled onto his back in time to see Nader stalk up the bed, crawling slowly up his body, a predatory gleam in his eyes. He planted a kiss on the nape of Wade’s neck, eliciting a gasp from him, before snuffing it out with another hungry kiss on the mouth.

“Not so fast!” Wade declared, pushing the heavy worgen over onto his back. “I’ve been waiting for this ALL day!” he added, licking and biting Nader’s ear, the great wolf whined but didn’t move, laying completely submissive to the goblin who was half his height. Wade ran his hands over Nader’s chest, feeling the muscles ripple under his soft, luxurious pelt. He tweaked and twisted his nipples, watching as Nader’s toes curled, his hands grabbing at the blankets. Wade felt something thump against his thigh and looked down to see Nader’s bright red cock poking at him.

“Someone’s happy to see me!” he teased. Nader just nodded at him through half lidded eyes. “Should I say ‘hello’?” Nader whined again, sounding like a broken steam pipe. Wade raked his nails along Nader’s skin as his hands trailed down the worgen’s abdomen, circling around his penis. Holding it steady, he began lapping at the tip, earning a squirt of precum onto his tongue. “Mmmm, so very MALE!” Wade noted, savoring the taste before stuffing the cock into his mouth. Slowly he bobbed his head up and down on Nader’s cock, taking time at each up thrust to swallow the flood of watery precum that the worgen secreted in pulses every few seconds. Wade could only assume it was a trait of his kind, not that he was complaining, he rather enjoyed the taste. Wade’s left hand rubbed up and down the base of Nader’s shaft, feeling the beginning of his knot forming. His right hand went to caress Nader’s heavy testes. The fur of his sack was so much softer than on the rest of his body, Wade loved the feel as he rolled each testicle in his hand. Feeling Nader’s knot begin to swell, Wade pulled down on Nader’s sheath, forcing the bulb like swelling to pop out, it immediately doubled in size, holding the ring of his sheath in place. Wade gripped Nader’s penis firmly behind the knot and began pumping his head up and down faster and faster. Nader began bucking his hips up as the pleasure was building to the point of no return. A growl began deep in his throat, growing to a most menacing pitch. Wade never flinched, having heard it many times before. Finally, with a howl, Nader began to cum. Thick ropes of ejaculate spilled from his cock into the goblin’s waiting mouth, Wade swallowed to the best he could, but the sheer volume was too much for him as seed began to leak from his mouth to run along Nader’s shaft and pool around his balls. Nader panted as his orgasm continued, testicles clinching rhythmically, feeding more semen to his already impressive cum. He could easily fill a glass as Wade gleefully tested out one night in an experiment both men enjoyed. With one last swallow, Wade let Nader’s cock fall from his mouth with a slurp.

“Did we enjoy ourselves?” he asked mockingly. Nader merely scooped him up and licked his semen off his lover’s face before kissing him on the mouth, tasting more of his own orgasm. “Good!” Wade panted as he broke it off. “Because if you didn’t, I’m more than happy to try again!” he giggled as he drew circles in Nader’s chest fur. The worgen kissed him on the forehead as his hand trailed down Wade’s chest. He cupped Wade’s penis through his pants and began to rub it, making the goblin sigh in pleasure as his cock began to engorge. Nader began to lick Wade, starting with his nose, slow, light licks all over his face, along his ears, down his neck. Gently he bit Wade’s shoulder making the goblin shudder in delight.

“Hold on, I gotta take these pants off, there’s no room to grow!” Quickly Wade unbuttoned his pants and shucked them off across the room, his boxer shorts quickly joining them on the floor. “There we go! Now where were we?” he asked as he lie down on his back, his erection bobbing freely in the night air. Nader resumed his tongue bath. Licking every bit of his lover’s body, leaving no crevice untouched, Wade squirmed, giggled, and moaned from the attention. Nader passed over Wade’s throbbing erection and moved down to his legs. “TEASE!” Wade cried. Nader made a throaty chuckle. Down his legs he went, to his feet. Wade began squirming even more as Nader sniffled and licked each and every toe, Wade didn’t care much for feet, but Nader enjoyed it and that was enough for him.

Finally Nader returned to Wade’s groin, a trail of precum dribbled down Wade’s cock, it was quickly lapped up by the worgen. “Oh!” Wade cried out. Gently Nader lapped at his cock, teasing the goblin to a hardness he never thought possible. “You better stop teasing me and do something or I’ll make you go for a month without any!” Nader grinned at him with a toothy smirk. Reaching over to the night stand, Nader reached into the drawer and removed a small jar of oil. Pouring some onto his hands, he began to apply it to Wade’s erection, his slick hands slid up and down Wade’s cock, making it shine in the firelight. In one swift movement, Nader was hunched over Wade’s cock, and with a quick alignment, lowered himself, Wade’s erection opening and forcing it’s way into Nader’s anus.

“Hsssst!” Wade hissed, the sensation was almost too much, the heat, the tightness as Nader slid down his cock, his fuzzy butt coming to rest on his groin. Nader planted his hands on either side of Wade’s head and leaned forward, rolling his rump back and forth on Wade’s cock. He looked down into the eyes of his lover as he rode him. His anus gripping Wade as he slid up and down his member.

“Oh yeaah!” Wade sighed, eyes closing as he licked his lips. “Just like that! You know how I like it!” Wade’s eyes flew open as he felt something tap on his chest. He found himself “face to face” with Nader’s renewed erection. Grabbing the jar of oil, he poured some on Nader’s cock, the worgen inhaling sharply as the cool oil touched his penis. Wade gripped him with both hands and began to pump him as he rode Wade. Nader closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on pleasuring his lover, squeezing and relaxing his rectum attempting to make Wade cum. The goblin too closed his eyes and concentrated on jerking the worgen off to another messy orgasm.

“You’re…. gonna…. lose … Nader!” he taunted, the worgen shook his head “No!” defiantly! “Oh fuck, I’m getting close!” Wade cried out. Nader doubled his efforts, humping on Wade faster, the goblin’s body bouncing off the mattress a little from the impact of Nader’s thrusts. Nader grunted out loud and his cock throbbed in Wade’s hand. Wade felt the first hot splash of spunk as it hit him on the face. The sensation of Nader’s spasming anus and the taboo of being splashed with Nader’s seed caused him to lose it.

“UUUUUUUGH!” Wade cried out, emptying his balls into Nader’s guts. Nader meanwhile was still bathing him in hot worgen cum, pulse after pulse poured out of his cock to cover Wade, his face was littered with streamers of semen, a puddle quickly forming on his chest, running down his sides to dampen the mattress below. Finally Nader could keep himself upright no more and collapsed on top of Wade, his deflating erection sandwiched between them, Wade’s still buried in his backside. Wade merely sighed as he rubbed his face into his warm furry blanket.

“Mmmm, turn out the light Nader, let’s get some sleep! We’ll get cleaned up tomorrow.” Wade said. Nader reached up and turned down the lamp, the flame dying out, the room clouded in darkness.

“Love…You” Nader spoke in a throaty growl.

“NAAAADER!” Allerdyce shouted. The door to the kitchen flew open, an angry worgen stomped up to his place at the bar. “My burger is undercooked. I asked for medium, this is rare. Am I going to have to show you how to cook?” Nader snatched his plate up and stomped off into the kitchen.

“Would you please stop tormenting him?” Wade sighed.

“What? You just can’t find good help these days!” Allerdyce sneered as Nader placed the plate back in front of him, heading back towards the kitchen. “See! Now was that so hard?”

“You’re going to push him too far one day…”

“Nah! He knows better than to…. Is this spit on my burger?!”