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The Road to Ruin	By : pirouette Category: +A through F > Elder Scrolls - Oblivion Views: 2483 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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The
Road to Ruin, Chapter Five: Old Habits

Caleigh did not take kindly
to the news of her exile, but she agreed to go all the same. I believe this was
the start of her personal quest to prove herself to Jauffre. She left at dawn,
as ordered, after spending the night with me, riding Prior Maborel's horse and
carrying only the clothes on her back.
�At least take your armor!�
I'd admonished her, but she shook her head.
�It feels too strange. I
wasn't�I can't wear Kvatch's mail.�
�Caleigh, you saved lives
there.�
She refused to meet my eyes.
�But I couldn't save the Count.�
That was the last time she
ever spoke of Kvatch. She leaned over to give me a kiss, ignoring the carefully
blank faces of the Blades on duty, and jumped her old paint down the Temple
stairs. Yet again I wished she'd use a saddle, but she stayed on with no
difficulty. At the time, it wasn't the breakneck speed at which she was riding
away that worried me, in any case. Rather, it was the look of relief on her
face as she approached the gates, and how she visibly relaxed once she was on
the other side of the walls.
Cyrus joined me on the
battlement as I watched her progress down the mountain. The air was cold, but
the day was clear, and I did not want to go inside while she was still in
sight. After all, I had no idea when I would see her again.
�She's coming back, you
know.� He rested his hand on my shoulder for a moment. I liked Cyrus. Out of
all of the Blades there at the time, he was the only one brave enough to treat
me like a human being.
�I know.� It didn't sound as
confident as I would have liked.
The wind rushed about us,
flapping the hem of my cloak, and we were both soon lost in thought. �Why did
you take to her so quickly?� I asked at last. She'd reached Bruma by then, and
was little more than a speck in the distance.
�Other than the obvious?� he
said with a wink. �Baurus. He's been spreading word
about how hard she tried to keep your father alive. As soon as we figured out
who she was, all of us wanted her in the ranks.�
�Ah.� The word was laced
with bitterness. Two days ago, making her a Blade had been my dearest wish.
�That's how I know she's
good for her word,� he grinned, and then left me to my musings. I had to admit
I felt much better. But that night when I tried to sleep, all I could think of
was the expression on her face as she left me.
The days passed with
excruciating slowness while she was gone. We waited for word, and when the
first few days provided none, Jauffre began to consider sending someone else to
Baurus. Even I began to doubt that she'd made it, after all, though my
reasoning was vastly different from his: perhaps she had been waylaid. But on
the fifth day we received a hastily scrawled note from Baurus: she was with
him, and they had a lead. Not only that, but we now
had a name for our enemy.
The
Mythic Dawn. Having their name made the knowledge that we were up
against a cult of Daedra-worshipers seem suddenly worse. I knew the sort of
fanatics we were dealing with. Until three years ago, I'd been one myself. For a different Lord, certainly, but the mentality would be the
same. The devotion as absolute. There was a day
when I would have died for my Lord, and that sort of power was insidious. The
world became grim in a way that the destruction of Kvatch could not manage.
That was the day I began to
pray again. Jauffre held daily devotions to Talos in the Great Hall, but
instead of joining in I began to make a habit of spending time on the
battlement, thinking about the Nine. I needed to believe that the gods had
allowed Kvatch's sacking to happen for a reason�though a reason that I did not
yet fully understand. And so I forced myself to resume my prayers to Akatosh.
It was hard, at first, especially because outside my mind tended to wander and
focus on Caleigh when I was looking out over the land. Still, after the first
month of daily prayer I felt much more confident. We hadn't been abandoned,
that much I knew. But the path ahead was dark, and I still had nightmares of
Kvatch. And of waking up to find I had been abandoned by Caleigh.
Baurus sent another message
after a month of painful silence. They'd gotten a new lead, and were planning
on meeting with an Agent of the Mythic Dawn. Jauffre gave the news to me
gladly, but my chest tightened at his words. I did not want my lover anywhere
remotely near those zealots. Two days passed, then three, and no further word
came. I began to pace the battlements like a trapped animal, looking out over
the walls and wondering how far I could make it on horseback before my devoted
Blades hunted me down and dragged me back by force. I snapped at Jauffre often
during that time because I blamed him for her proximity to danger. Looking back
on those days, I can only say that I am lucky that once he had gotten to know
someone, he was an understanding man.

He forgives you. Keep
going.
That�s the first time one of
your little interruptions has made me feel better, you know.

She had been gone for almost
two months when a guardsman announced with a shout that there was a horse on
the road to the Temple. I was
jolted out of my prayer instantly and ran for the walls in a most undignified
fashion, convinced that Caleigh was returning to me with news. The Blades
poured from the doors and joined me, staring intently at the road.
My heart sank as soon as the
horse came into view. The rider was wearing heavy armor, and his horse was
saddled. It wasn't Caleigh. Cyrus, however, gave a gleeful shout and bounded
for the gates.
�Baurus!� he called,
flinging them open and allowing the rider entrance.
Baurus.
The only survivor of the Blades who had tried to escort the
Empe�my father to safety. The one who had spent so
much time with Caleigh. I would have rushed to meet him, as well, were
he not already on his way to kneel at my feet. It was a feeling I still wasn't
used to, and I�d convinced the other Blades to treat me far less formally than
Jauffre found proper. We�d fought about it more than once, but I much preferred
to be treated like a normal person whenever possible.
�My Lord!
I have news!� His voice was low, but still quite young.
�Please, Baurus. Stand,� I
grimaced. �Let us talk in the Great Hall where it is warm.�
He followed a full two paces
behind me, making me feel more awkward than I'd thought possible. The other
Blades, who certainly knew better, smiled merrily and followed his example. I
wondered if it was a good sign that they were so comfortable teasing their
Heir.
Jauffre, Baurus, and I
settled into one of the long tables nearest the fire. After I nodded the
affirmative, the off-duty Blades took seats, as well. Soon beers were being
passed around and food was on the table. The winter was wearing everyone down,
and I could not fault them their desire to turn the return of a comrade into a
celebration. Once everyone had food and drink, attentions turned to Baurus, who
did not seem to know quite where to begin. I wanted to ask him for news of
Caleigh, but knew it would be inappropriate. Luckily, Jauffre solved that problem
for me.
�What of your companion?� he
asked, sipping neatly on a tankard.
�Oh,
Caleigh?� Baurus chuckled. �She's at the Arcane
University with some Argonian,
working on finding the site of Mehrunes Dagon's shrine. She wanted to come report instead, but I am no scholar.�
�What have you learned?� I
tried not to give Jauffre a smug stare. I also tried not to feel guilty for
doubting Caleigh's word despite myself. I was entirely unsuccessful at both
ventures.
He filled us in on the
events that had unfolded in the past two months, and I found myself growing
jealous of the sheer amount of time they had spent together. However, it was
good to hear of her, and Baurus proved to be a skillful storyteller. By the end
of his account of their reunion, half the table was in hysterics. Apparently
she had shown up at the inn he was staying at, inexplicably soaking wet, and
had almost blown Baurus' cover within minutes. Her timing was also in some ways
perfect�the man Baurus had been tailing had found him out, and her presence
made it two against one.
�So the assassin follows me
to the basement,� he told the table, �and she sneaks in after him. He summons
some armor and a mace, and then�� here he giggled,
leaning forward conspiratorially ��then she breaks a watermelon over his head
and pushes him into an open cupboard!�
Everyone laughed, even me.
�Sword never even came unsheathed!� he concluded, taking a healthy pull on his
tankard.
Cyrus shook his head. �That girl! I taught her how to use a blade.�
�Well, that explains it.�
Baurus retorted, and Cyrus rolled his eyes, much to the enjoyment of the other
Blades. I was beginning to realize that these two enjoyed attempting to outdo
one another. �So we finish him off, and I ask her, I ask her why she did that,
and do you know what she said?�
�Just tell us,� Cyrus
grinned.
�She told me she didn't
think she'd done anything unusual! While picking watermelon out of her hair!
The basement was covered in fruit and soggy footprints!�
Everyone laughed again, but
the sound was beginning to make me feel somewhat confined. I would much rather
have been there myself.
After a few moments, Baurus
continued. �The innkeeper wasn't too happy with us that night, but he still let
her stay with me.�
�Did he,� I said sharply,
and the other Blades fell awkwardly silent and made a point of not looking at
me. Perfect. Subtle!
�Well, she had no money, and
I didn't want her sleeping outside, so we shared a room while we were in the
city together.�
�Baurus,� Cyrus said
warningly.
�Oh!� he said, looking
around the table and seeing all the worried faces trained on him. �No, no! She
took the bed, I took the floor! We were focused on our task the entire time,
believe me.�
I tried not to sigh in
relief.
�Baurus, you are always the
perfect gentleman,� Jauffre said, attempting to smooth the moment over.
�Not that I would mind.
She's a great girl. I enjoyed our time together.� He tore a piece out of his
sweetroll, and everyone at the table stared at him in horror.
�So when is she coming back
herself?� I asked, keeping my eyes on my plate.
�The hotel's paid out
through the week. The innkeeper's been dealing with thefts for the past month,
and she promised to help him try and find the person responsible.�
�Did she,� Jauffre smiled,
giving me an eloquent glare. I resisted the urge to bury my head in my hands.
�What's gone missing?� I
continued, mostly to keep his attention off of Jauffre.
Baurus shrugged. �I never
asked.�
We all busied ourselves with
our plates for a moment. �You know,� he added, �I've never seen a Bosmer so
ready to get back to the mountains.�
Those words filled me with a warmth that kept me going through the next week. By the
time they stopped having an effect on my mood, Caleigh herself had returned to
me.
The gates were thrown open
at dawn eight days after Baurus returned, and Caleigh vaulted off her exhausted
horse and came running up the steps. I had flown from my table after hearing
Captain Steffan announce her return, running through the Great Hall like a
small boy and garnering an amused shake of the head from several of my
guardians. I opened the doors just in time to see her crest the steps, gasping
for air. The courtyard was clearing rapidly, with the exception of Cyrus and
Baurus, who had been chatting on the battlement. They were approaching from
behind Caleigh, so she did not see Baurus smile and begin to call her name. She
collided with me desperately and buried her face in the shoulder of my robes,
flinging her arms around my waist with a happy gasp. Baurus stopped cold, and
her name died on his lips.
�Welcome back,� I murmured,
wrapping her in my arms and lowering my face to her hair.
�Martin, I thought I would
go mad if I had to stay away a day longer.�
I laughed and kissed her
forehead, acutely aware of how intently Baurus was watching. Cyrus tried to
guide him away, but he shook his head and remained standing behind Caleigh.
�Where did you get these
clothes?� I took her by the shoulders and bade her step back so I could examine
her. She was in a green man�s shirt, which was far too large for her but
brought out her eyes, and a pair of leather trousers. No shoes, which horrified
me, but she didn�t seem to care how cold the stone was. Overall, she looked as
though she had just tried to ride herself and her horse to death on several
miles of very muddy road.
�I didn't steal them,
if that's what you mean.� She glared at me prettily, and I wiped a spot of dirt
off of her cheek with my thumb. �I borrowed them from Baurus after I ruined
mine.�
That should not have annoyed
me�I would be praying extra for that reaction.
The breeze picked up, and
Caleigh sniffed at the air as her hair was blown against her face. She smiled,
and whirled on the two Redguards still standing behind us.
�Cyrus! Baurus!� she
giggled, and threw her arms around them both. It became my turn to awkwardly
watch their reunion. Cyrus gave her a friendly embrace and a happy smile, but
Baurus seemed tense and forced.
�Are you not happy to see
me?� Caleigh teased, frowning up at him and giving him a determined hug around
his middle. He looked at me in terror, and only gave her a quick squeeze back
when I quietly nodded my permission.
�That wasn't a very good
hug,� she said, stepping away from him. �Are you angry with me?�
�You're covered in mud. I
don't want to have to clean my armor,� he replied, and her brow furrowed as she
looked down at her clothes.
�Ignore him, Cal�� began Cyrus, but she shook her head.
�No, he's right. I'm
filthy.� She pulled his shirt off and bent to rummage through her pack. The
look on Baurus' face as he tried to ignore her naked chest reassured me that
nothing had occurred between them, no matter how taken with her he seemed to
be. Cyrus laughed comfortably and offered her his cloak, but she shook her head
and pulled out a loose, wide-necked white shirt from her bag. After she put it
on, it slid to expose one of her shoulders as soon as it was touched by the
next gust of wind. The worst of the mud and horse smell gone, she moved to my
side once more, and Baurus relaxed visibly. Her lips found my ear, and she
whispered three words so that only I could hear.
�I need you.�
I am sure Baurus and Cyrus
saw the way my lips parted and my eyes hazed over when she spoke, but both were
polite enough to pretend she was leading me to my quarters for a figurative
debriefing. That is, until she ruined the farce entirely.
�Cyrus, will you keep Jauffre
away from me for a little while? I'll fill him in when I'm done with Martin.�
�Yes, ma'am!� he grinned,
and I felt my face turn scarlet.
�Caleigh,
please!� I hissed, and she rolled her eyes.
�Yes, because none of them
have figured out why I was dragged naked from your quarters.� To prove her
point, Jena, the Blade who had been
guarding the door to my bedroom, took one look at us approaching and bowed herself out of the hallway.
I wanted to tell her about
modesty, and appearances, but the instant the door to my quarters slid shut she
convinced me it didn't matter. Her hands were at the neck of my robes, tugging
insistently as her mouth found mine. I was dragged to the bed and shoved onto
it wordlessly. She yanked my robe over my head, and in the time it took me to
brush my hair back out of my eyes had gotten rid of her trousers. It struck me
as suddenly funny that she'd bothered to change, but it was impossible to laugh
when my nerves were on fire.
�I missed you, too,� I
gasped, tilting my head back as she ran her tongue along my neck with
excruciating slowness.
�Prove it,� she purred into
my ear, then pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her breasts to me. I
dragged her into my lap and began to nibble at her collarbone, causing her to
moan in happiness. I spared a quick glance at the door.
�You're going to have to
keep quiet. It's the middle of the day.�
�So?� Her fingernails ran
against my stomach, and I shivered.
�Caleigh.�
�Fine,� she whispered,
straddling my lap and moving for another kiss. My hands were sliding over her
body, reminding myself of her curves, determining if she was as frantic with
need as I was. My fingers slid between her thighs, and she bit my shoulder gently to stifle a groan. I teased at her with
my middle finger and felt her arms begin to shake.
�Just take me,� she begged,
licking my ear.
�I don't want to rus�� I began, and she sighed.
�I do. Two months, Martin!�
She nibbled at my lip and ground against me, sending thrills through my body
and awakening a mind-numbing series of ideas that I did not have the willpower
to send away. I grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her, standing and
moving us both off of the bed. We stumbled across the room, mouths running
frantically over each other's naked skin, only stopping when her back slammed
into my bookshelf, knocking several volumes to the floor. I thought for a
moment that Blades would surely come running, convinced there was a struggle
going on. But as her arms wrapped around my neck and I grabbed her backside,
pulling her closer to me, I found I couldn't care. Let them burst in.
�Turn around,� I growled,
and she obliged with a whimper, grabbing onto a shelf for support. I entered
her forcefully, groaning loudly enough to break my own rule. I'd forgotten how
good she felt. I cupped her breasts in my hands and bent her over far enough
for me to find an angle that allowed me to thrust as fast as I wished.
Time slowed down. Each time
I pushed against her, she slammed into the bookshelf, causing more texts to
fall. I teased her nipples with my fingers, and she gasped, tightening her grip
against the shelf. The wood began to creak as she held onto it for dear life,
bracing herself against my onslaught. She tried to be quiet, at first, but soon
she was making an almost continuous low, deep noise in the back of her throat.
It grew progressively louder, and hoarser, and then she tightened around me
with a sob. I grabbed her around her middle and lowered her to the floor before
her legs gave out completely. She hissed as her naked back contacted the
hardwood. We kissed for a moment, taking time to breathe, and then once her
panting sounded slightly less frantic I eased back into her.
Her fingers buried
themselves in my hair and pulled my forehead to hers. She traced the outline of
my face, watching me. Smiling. When she smiled, I lost
all rhythm. It was too much. I began to shudder, and she threw her arms around
me, murmuring into my ear.
�You're beautiful,� she
said, brushing her hands through my hair as I collapsed on top of her. For the
first time in months, I felt too warm for comfort. It was delicious. I wanted
to tell her that, but all I could do was make a satisfied noise deep in my
throat.
Time passed, and soon we
heard footsteps pacing in the hall. Caleigh sighed, and we rose to get dressed.
She was trying to tidy her hair with her fingers when I opened the sliding door
and found Jauffre in the hall.
�If you're quite finished making
everyone in the Temple distinctly
uncomfortable, I'd like to hear word from the Bosmer,� he snapped, staring at
the sweat beading my forehead.
�I'd say at least half of
your men are more jealous than embarrassed,� I said, grinning widely, and was instantly
horrified with myself. Caleigh started and looked at me, mouth open. Eyes hurt.
I couldn't blame her�that was not the thing to say about someone for whom I
cared deeply.
Jauffre's face was full of
disappointment. �I can see you learned nothing in the last three years.�
Those words stung for
days�long after he apologized. But I believe now that they also saved me. I
very desperately needed a reminder of why I could not be the man I had
once been in the days to come. My memory of his face in that moment, and hers,
kept me away from the brink when the dark power we were trying to harness for
our own use whispered its most seductively.
�You,� he said, turning and
pointing at Caleigh. �Let's go speak in the library.� She followed him
silently, and I was left alone. I tried to fix the mess we'd made of the
bookshelf, but the sight of it made that empty space in my chest, which I had
not felt since Kvatch, re-open. I should not have done that�before today, we
had always made love on the bed. She deserved more respect than I had given
her. Unfortunately, as I have since learned, she does not always want
it�she prefers the Daedra worshiper, the man I�ve tried so hard to keep away
from her.
Thankfully, that night she
returned to my room, warm and soft and forgiving. She never remained angry with
me for long�it wasn't in her nature. Something was bothering her, I knew, but
her gentle kisses made it clear the source was not me. We had been lying
together for some time in silence before she told me the news.
�I have to leave again
soon.�
My breath caught. I forced
my voice to sound normal. �When?�
�Tomorrow,� she whispered
mournfully, resting her head on my chest.
�Perfect. He's not even
letting you stay for a full day,� I grumbled, stroking her hair.
�No, I offered.�
I lifted my head to stare at
her, trying not to feel betrayed. �What? Why?�
There was a long stretch of
silence. �I'm going to get the Amulet back.�
I sat up, and she grumbled
as I displaced her. She explained the plan to me patiently, telling me how she
was intending to go to the shrine, sneak in, and sneak back out with the
Amulet. No bloodshed, and no alarms raised, which
would give us a time advantage. Then, we could crown me and perform the
ceremony that would divide us from Oblivion forever. I knew that I should have
been pleased that we may have soon been able to prevent another city from going
the way of Kvatch. But all I saw were images of a future without her.
�No. No,� I repeated,
shaking my head.
�Martin, no one has a better
chance. It's thief work. Anyone else would die.�
�I don't care. A full force
of Blades could storm the shrine and retrieve it.�
She shook her head at me
sadly. �Yes, and some of them would die. I can't do that to Baurus, or Cyrus. Or any of the others for that matter.�
I moved from the bed and
began to pace the floor, trying to control the feelings that were fomenting
within me. �I refuse to let you do this. Someone else will go.�
�I made a promise to your
father,� she whispered, drawing her knees to her chest and staring at me sadly.
�You are the only thing that
is keeping me from going insane inside this�this cage, Caleigh! You can't leave
me again! Especially not for a suicide mission!�
�You can't be selfish like
this,� she whispered.
�And why
not?�
She stared at me and didn't reply, and I felt foolish. My father would never have acted
in this fashion. By the account I�d had from Baurus, he had gone to his death
thinking only of his people, and of how to stave off the dark future he had
predicted. But there I was, pacing like a child, and refusing to allow one of
my own to fulfill her obligations and repay her debts. No, she was right. I
looked her in the eyes and forced myself to see reason. We were constantly
pulling each other away from the precipices of our own stupidity.
�Please don't die,� I
muttered at last, sinking into a chair and staring at her forlornly.
Her lips twitched at the
corners. �I shall endeavor not to.�
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The Road to Ruin