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Returning	By : braxy29x Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 3007 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, quoted poetry or lyrics. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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"The stars come nightly to the sky; The tidal wave unto the sea; Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high, Can keep my own away from me." -from Waiting, by John Burroughs
...
Thane was pleased to find himself seated next to Shepard on the Kodiak. EDI had recommended that she take the shuttle to their next mission while it continued to test the newly-installed Reaper IFF.
I take her arm in my hands, her skin soft and warm against mine, a fair gold against my darker green.
Thane found his mind drifting back to his brief visit to Shepard's cabin regretting that while he was near to her again now, the presence of the team and the thick armor between them made this cramped trip considerably less enjoyable. He looked around at his team-mates, having never seen them assembled together at once much less crammed into a space that better suited no more than a half-dozen occupants. To make matters more absurd, Thane understood this mission was unlikely to yield any combat, but Miranda had ordered the entire team off the Normandy nonetheless. He could only assume Miranda's order had been a safety measure of some kind; Shepard must have agreed or felt it was a matter not worth arguing over.
"Get the fuck away from me!" Jack snarled at Jacob, coming up from her seat into a crouch, biotic energy crackling at the tips of her fingers. She handled the close quarters less well than others, likely a response to her confinement as a child and on the Purgatory. Thane had heard enough about her past to find Miranda's decision to include the entire team on this unimportant mission particularly unwise. Leaving behind such a powerful and angry woman rather than place her in a situation most likely to provoke an outburst seemed to him the lesser of two evils.
"Easy," Jacob answered her irritably, crossing his arms over his chest and doing his best to avoid her hostile stare. Thane noted Zaeed met her angry glance evenly, unmoving and unperturbed, seeming to diffuse the situation in the process. Jack returned to the very edge of her seat, her tension still apparent in every muscle, returning Zaeed's gaze before looking away and focusing on the ceiling. He wondered whether Zaeed did in fact relate to Jack better than the other team-members, his suspicion that there was more to Zaeed than one might guess further encouraged.
At last they were nearing their destination, the planet Taitus in the Caleston Rift. Scanners had indicated only an abandoned mech here and a confused, repeating signal, but Thane was certain he was not alone in looking forward to a chance to stretch his legs outside of the Normandy, whether he had the opportunity to utilize his skills or not.
"Commander Shepard," announced EDI over the comm, "I regret to inform you that the Normandy has been attacked by the Collectors. Mr. Moreau and I have secured the ship, but the rest of the crew has been taken. I await your orders."
Thane looked to Shepard, her expression unreadable with her helmet already in place. Resting her elbows on her knees, facing the floor, she paused a moment before straightening herself and responding in a low, too-even voice.
"Tali, take us back up, we need to find out what's going on."
...
Thane paced through the ship, hands clasped in front of his chest and head bowed, unable to settle himself. He had prayed to Arashu for some time in his accustomed place in Life Support, but found he could not sit long. As he walked, he continued his entreaties for the well-being of the many individuals he had become familiar with over the last few months. He had known none closely, but he prayed fervently that the team would be able to recover them unharmed, although he found such good fortune unlikely.
The Normandy was eerily quiet, something he would have been comfortable with at any other time but now the absence of noise struck him as bleak and oppressive. After making a few rounds of the crew level, he stood resting his weight against a table in the mess, relaxing from his attitude of prayer to hold onto the edge of it, the memories of meals taken with others and passing conversations bubbling up.
You know the food around here used to be a lot worse. Didn't even have coffee until Shepard picked up some supplies for us. He smiles and indicates his kitchen with a wave. Nice to have something decent to feed the crew, keeps up the morale.
Oh, I bet you lived an exciting life as an assassin, didn't you Mr. Krios? I hope you'll tell me all about it. She blinks oddly at me, touching my elbow. You know it's my job to understand what makes people around here tick, and I think you might be my favorite subject yet! She speaks like an excited child.
Thane remembered Gardner, Kelly and any number of other crew members he had talked with around the ship, finding it painful to imagine so many innocents abused, perhaps destroyed.
How many lives had he taken? He remembered them all, but had never bothered to count, finding such enumeration unimportant. Most of them, at least, had not suffered at his hands. He couldn't begin to think what the crew might be suffering now, if they were still alive.
I break the man's fingers, one by one, joint by joint. He begs me to stop, but I silence him with a brutal blow to the ears, my cupped hands striking either side of his head. I am not ready to cause him serious damage yet. He screams but never asks who I am or why I have come for him. I am confident he knows.
Thane recognized a certain irony.
He was both prepared for his coming death and a master of his art, gifted at killing and capable of defending himself, and had been from childhood. When he had left Samara on the Observation Deck that morning, Thane believed his soul should be at peace the his death, having absorbed her wisdom, having done all he could to prepare, and finally concluding he would allow himself the comfort of loving Shepard in the time he had left. When he returned to the Normandy later that day, finding it purged of its vitality, he wished only that he had been there instead of those less able to defend themselves. He would have happily accepted his end in place of any of the individuals he had spent time with here and considered it an honorable demise. Yet he remained in the darkened halls of the ship and those the Collectors had taken did not stand a chance on their own.
Siha, I whisper to her, touching her cheek, wanting her recognition once again. Her skin is cold, her eyes wide and dull. She does not see me.
Irikah had never had a chance either. The Batarians had come for her while he was away, unable to protect her or give his own life in exchange. Thane had furthermore abandoned Kolyat, deserted his only son in the hope that he would find greater happiness and security in his father's absence. Kolyat had survived this betrayal, but might never truly forgive him.
Thane had prayed to the Gods that he might have more time with Shepard, that his death would not come too quickly now that she had given him purpose and promised him some small measure of contentment, something he had not felt since losing Irikah. He supposed he should thank the Gods for granting him this, but he was left with a sense of anger and self-disgust at finding himself once again powerless and uncertain whether he wanted more to live or to die. The blessing of having been spared again brought him only hollow grief.
Thane suddenly felt himself foolish for hoping he could bring light to the galaxy. Experience taught him that he would survive, where others would suffer and fall around him. He shuddered when he realized that, above all else, he was thankful the Gods had at least spared Shepard, whatever had happened to the rest of the crew.
She remained. Siha. Shepard was their salvation, and she would save them if anyone could. She was his chance at life.
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- 6
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