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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike	By : GintaxAlvissforever Category: +S through Z > Super Smash Brothers Views: 1933 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers or SEGA Superstar Tennis. I'm not making any money off of this

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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers Brawl or Sega Superstar Tennis. They go to Nintendo (SSBB) and SEGA (SSST).
Summary: Sonic manages to bribe Wario into targeting Ike during the Brawl match but Ash and Falco make an interesting bet. If Ash could win the match with Ike, Wario and Lucas and win three team matches with the blue falcon, Ash would be able to do whatever he wanted with Falco. The question is, can he do it? Or will Ike's temper ruin Ash's chances at a chance to test out his new skills?
Chapter 5: Wario's Prank

"Come on Wario. What will get you to attack Ike for the whole match?" Sonic asked the greedy Smasher.
For their next plan, they decided they would have Wario take the plunge and attack Ike during the whole match despite the mercenary being in a crappy mood. However, Wario wasn't swayed easily.
"Will you take the money I make?" Sonic questioned innocently. He made the second most cash out of everyone in the mansion with Link and Took Link being the first and Meta Knight being third, Pit fourth, Lucario fifth, Mario sixth and the list goes on from there.
"No way," Wario stated, "I already have plenty of it."
Ash gasped, "Wario turning down cold hard cash? That's a first."
"There must be a catch," Falco said.
The blue hedgehog tried to think what could possibly make Wario help them. If money didn't even persuade him then what will?
"Will you help us if we can you a date?" Ash asked.
Falco laughed, "Who could possibly date a fat guy like-"
He was cut off because Sonic blocked any noise from coming out by closing his beak.
"It depends," Wario answered.
"But who out there likes Wario?" Sonic asked as he let go of Falco's beak. It was the same thing the blue falcon was going to say, but it was somewhat nicer.
"That chick Mona that works at Mona Pizza," Ash declared, "She's the only one who has the hots for Wario."
Sonic's and Falco's eyes budged out. The Smasher's pizza girl was in love with someone as fat and greedy as Wario? How is that possible?
"Yeah. That's the girl," Wario stated with a smug look on his face, "I'll only help if you promise to hook me up with her."
"Done deal," Ash said with a grin, "It will be a synch."
Wario laughed out loud as he proceeded to head over to the arena to prepare for the upcoming free for all match. All he had to do was target Ike and fart on him and he would get a girlfriend. Things were finally looking up for him.
The two blue animals sweated at the idea though.
"Uh...how will that work?" Sonic asked.
"Simple. We call Mona Pizza like we usually do, order the pizza for everyone, and speak to Mona privately about Wario liking her and bam! There in that smelly room for hours!"
"I feel sorry for her..." Falco mumbled, "What could she possibly see in that guy?"
"That's a question we'd all be asking one another," Ash answered, "Like how could someone like Pit be in love with a psycho like Ike or how could Wolf be in love with a Pokémon like Lucario who could be male or female."
"He's a guy, you dumb fuck..." Sonic muttered.
"I know that, so shut up," Ash hissed, "Anyway, Smash Brothers Mansion is always the last delivery, so you can suspect a one-night stand."
"But she's so young...only in high school..." Falco stated, "It would be rape if they had a one-night stand."
Sonic glared at the blue falcon. He hated it when people complained about major age differences. The blue hedgehog's motto was that "If you love someone, then you love that person for a reason and nothing should get in the way of that."
"You don't mind me staying in a room with a twenty-eight year old fox," Sonic started in a low tone, "And if I remember correctly, you're staying with someone who is only fourteen."
Falco snarled at the blue wonder, "You don't see me making advances do you?"
"No, and Fox hasn't either. Beside, you like being dominated."
Falco's face became red from anger and embarrassment, "What did you say?"
Ash grinned. He liked where this was going, "Hey! I got an idea Falcy~"
Sonic stared at Ash wide-eyed. Falco's eyebrow twitched. How dare he shorten his name to something that sounded like a small pet! He was no pet whatsoever.
"What the hell?"
"If I win this match, can I do whatever I want with you?" Ash asked bluntly.
Sonic fell over anime style. The bottom of Falco's beak dropped to the floor.
"Hell no!" came Falco's answer.
"Aww, come on!"
Sonic recovered from the fall only to hear the ace pilot say...
"How about this. If you win that single match and three teams matches with me on your team and getting a higher score than me on the third match, then you can do whatever you want. If we lose any of the matches or you don't get a higher score than me, then you won't have your sick ways tonight or ever again."
Ash liked the challenge, "Deal. Expect me to win. Don't forget our promise Tweetie bird."
That was worse than the Falcy. Ash skipped off to the arena completely prepared to win it all.
"He won't win this bet," Falco stated, "Everything is against him."
"How so?"
"With Ike being angry in the first match and having to fight the girls in the third team match, the odds of him winning is as close as five percent unless he abuses his Pokemon of course."
"You're so cruel."
"He'll be the cruel one if he wins though..."
Sonic sighed. Falco had such a big ego, but something told him that the Pokémon Trainer was going to win this bet.
"I'll go get the video camera now..."
Sonic zoomed off to his room leaving Falco to ponder what he just did. What have he gotten himself into?

And so everyone in the living room again and waiting for the match to start. Sonic noted that Pit and Fox were sitting next to each and decided to sit in between them with the video camera. Falco sat behind the blue hedgehog. Pit didn't mind one bit. As for Fox, he was tensing up when Sonic's skin came in contact with his.
"You know the footage will suck if you record it from the TV," Falco stated, "It's best to use an SD card."
"Do you see a Wii plugged in here?" Sonic asked.
There was no response to that statement.
"Thought so."
Attention turned to the screen. The match would be a time match for five minutes on the Skyworld stage. Ike appeared in that light on the top platform with his yellow outfit. Wario rode on the stage with his bike and wore his Mario Party outfit on the left side of the screen. Lucas appeared on that skateboard or whatever it was on the bottom of the platform wearing a blue outfit. Ash was already there and called out Squirtle out of his Pokéball on the right platform. He kept his original outfit.
"3...2...1...GO!"
And the fight was (is) on as Pit would say it.
"Who do you think is going to win?" Sonic questioned as he started recording the match in bad quality.
"Lucas." Fox said.
"I'm with Fox." Pit added.
Sonic was confused, "Why?"
The answer was obvious. Pit was still mad at the mercenary somewhat and decided to stick with the highest rate of winning. The angel would have cheered for Ash, but the raven haired teen pissed him off just looking at his smug look.
"Wario..." Falco mumbled.
The trio turned to the blue falcon. Sonic didn't really, he just eyed him at the corner of his eye and keeping the camera in position.
"You're crazy..." The leader of Star Fox declared.
"It's better than Red winning," Falco told him.
Sonic grinned, "Come on, you know you want Ash to win."
"I don't."
"Suit yourself. You might lose your one-night stand tonight."
"W-What?"
Fox snickered as Pit did not understand what was going on. His attention went back to the match and so far, Wario was winning.
Wario kept going after Ike like instructed. The bluenette noticed this and decided to fight back. Lucas was too busy getting overpowered by the tiny turtle. It wasn't long before Squirtle got Lucas to 150 percent and threw him backwards. Lucas tried to recover with PK Thunder but Squirtle used his water gun to push Lucas back so he couldn't grab the edge. That knocked him out and scored Ash a point.
"Ash is being smart today," Pit stated.
"You would for a one-night stand!" Fox said with a laugh.
"You guys shut up!"
"What happened to Ash's night stand?" Pit asked clearly oblivious to what they talking about.
Sonic laughed even harder as he recorded the match. The members of Star Fox were shocked. Fox would have explained it if Falco didn't strangle him.
"You'll find out when you're older." Falco said harshly.
The angel was insulted by that comment shouting that he was way older than everyone in the room. He was persistent for an answer and continued asking what the word meant to Sonic and the blue hedgehog told him, "Ask Ike. He wants it."
When Sonic said that though he felt his insides hurt him. Why did it hurt stating the obvious?
"POYO!" Kirby declared.
Of course their were other Smashers in the room, but Kirby decided to make himself known and point at the TV.
In the match, Ike was trying to get off the stage and Wario threw his bike off the stage and Ike kept getting hit by it resulting in him not being able to get up thus knocking him out. Wario taunted by shaking his ass at the screen but when he did, Squirtle came out of nowhere and did a full body tackle with his shell knocking Wario off as he was at 168 percent from fighting Ike.
Squirtle wasn't free yet though because Ike came back and tried to murder the turtle. Dodging his sword was easy when he was mad, but Squirtle was at 102 percent. Squirtle got hit by Luca's PK Freeze. It sent him flying. The ice crashed into the screen.
There was only three minutes left now and Ash was winning. He called out Ivysaur to do more damage to Lucas as Ike went back for Wario. Wario had a fully charged fart waiting for him and that is what he did when both Lucas and Ike were close. He let it all out and sent them flying in opposites side of the screen with no chance to recover. Ash kneeled down coughing like the gas was toxic.
"D-Damn you Wario...what did you eat?" Ash HAD to ask.
Wario looked at the Pokemon Trainer who was switching out Ivysaur for Charizard.
"Mona's Pizza," he replied.
"Fuck...your girlfriend better get use to this smell...and she needs to stop putting garlic on the damn pizza!"
Ike and Lucas didn't come back down from that transporter for a while because they could still smell it.
Pit looked like he was ready to cry.
"What's wrong?" Sonic asked.
"Palutena won't be happy with that smell. She'll come out any minute."
"No...I think one of your subordinates will do that."
"...Pepper...don't come out of that door. PLEASE!"
She never did to his relief.
Ike and Lucas were forced off the platform but thankfully, Skyworld was one of those stages that wouldn't tolerate smells like that. It was gone instantly and Ike headed toward Wario in rage. That fat bastard wasn't going to make a fool of him especially in front of Pit.
And the match went on. Ike continued to attack anyone in his way but Lucas usually got the Smash Ball to do PK Statstorm and kill everyone but the Pokemon who were able to dodge it with ease and instantly knock out Lucas afterward.
"5...4...3...2...1...TIME!"
The screen went to the victory screen and showed the winner.
"The winner is Charizard!"
It showed Ash posing with his fire Pokemon. Everyone else was clapping and Wario was booing while clapping.
It showed that Ash was in first place with a score of 3 while Lucas had a score of 0 and was in second place. Wario was in third with -1 and Ike was in last with -2.
Sonic grinned. Ike losing would make the fangirls on Youtube cry.
Falco wasn't all that happy. Ash came in first for a change. He was usually in third because he had a tendency of using the wrong Pokémon at the wrong time.
But now it was time for him to go and start the team match with Ash. They were going to lose to the girls anyway.
Sonic turned off his video camera. He was going to post it on Youtube right now.

The hours past and after a while, Sonic managed to get the footage on Youtube. Sure enough people were complaining about the low quality and Ike losing but Sonic assured him that he would make it better quality later. Some people tried to ask him which Smasher he was but the blue hedgehog replied with, "One who loves to torture Ike."
Eventually, Ash came into the room all warn out but had the most evil look on his face. He looked like he was possessed by the Dark King.
"So...what happened? Did you lose?" Sonic asked without turning around.
"Of course not. We won ALL the matches!"
Sonic was so surprised that he hit his head on the computer screen. That was unexpected, "You won?"
"I won the bet and now I can do whatever I want with Tweetie! Where is he?"
"He's not here."
"Bastard. He knew we were going to win against the girls so he got a lot of SDs. Ivysaur had to get all the KOs for me."
"Poké abuse."
"What did you say?"
"N-Nothing. So are you going to get out of my room now?"
Ash glanced around the room one last time. He nodded his head and left. Sonic sighed in relief. Falco may not have been in his room but he wasn't going to be left alone for the rest of the night.
"Poor Falco..."

Falco was hiding from the raven haired teen, but he didn't show it. He just decided to act like nothing happened and he did that by going to Wolf's room. He and the leader of Star Fox did NOT get along well. Hell, if it weren't for Fox always breaking up their fights, then one of them would have been on the ground bleeding to death. Lucario took the place of Fox now since his captain was too busy hanging out with other Smashers or protecting Sonic from the clutches of Ike.
And so were the three Smashers there playing Star Trek Uno on the single glass table where it's height was closer to the floor. It was kind of funny that Wolf had something breakable in his room. Since Falco and Wolf were at each other's throats, it was easy for Lucario to win the game. He tried to warn them by saying "Uno" but no one was listening so he ended up winning.
"What, how did you win?" Wolf questioned.
Lucario shook his head in annoyance. "Weren't you listening to me at all. I called Uno."
"You must have been mumbling. That should be a penalty."
"Poor sport..."
Wolf snarled at the aura Pokemon, but Lucario ignored him.
"So Falco, why did you take the time to play Uno with us?"
Falco flinched the image of them winning all their matches came back to him. He was actually losing his cool.
"That's...uh..."
There was a knock at the door. Falco warned the aura Pokémon not to answer it. He never listened to any of the Star Fox characters, so when he got up and opened the door, Ash was on the other side.
"Can I help you?"
"I'm here for the bird. We made a deal and he's already breaking it." Ash said simply.
Wolf snickered upon seeing the scared look on Falco's face. He instantly got behind the ace pilot and pushed him toward the Pokémon Trainer.
"He's all yours."
"Traitor!"
"..."
Ash laughed hysterically as he instantly grabbed Falco by the tail and dragged him to their room. Lucario was worried for the blue falcon but couldn't do much. He turned back to the leader of Star Wolf and asked, "So, are you going to give me that chocolate bar now?"
Wolf sighed, "Do I have to go and get it now?"
"Yes."
Wolf snarled but stormed off. He didn't have a chocolate bar at his disposal so he had to go buy one at a nearby store in Tokyo if it was still open. Lucario would pester him all night if he didn't.

As Ash dragged Falco back to their room, Falco kept coming up with excuses for the Pokémon Trainer. The main one was if he kept his deal with Wario.
"I don't break promises Falcy~" Satoshi said with an evil smirk, "As soon as I was done with the match, I went to go get some items for our night. I then went over to Mona's Pizza directly and told Mona that Wario had feelings for her. She's already here pizzas and everything. I don't know what the two are doing but it definitely isn't a one night stand. Maybe it's better that way." The Pokémon Trainer eyed the blue falcon, "But you were trying to hide from me the whole time. Are you that scared of me that you would turn to Wolf?"
"How did you find me? Did Sonic tell you?"
"No. He was too busy with Youtube. Fox told me that he saw you go with Wolf and Lucario."
"That backstabbing bastard! I'm going to get him back one of these days!"
"It's better like this anyway."

Ash ended up locking the door once they made it to their room. He started to laugh hysterically as he had a whip in his hand.
"I always wanted to try this. Please cooperate with me like the rest of my Pokémon would Falcy~"

Sonic shivered when he thought he heard an evil laugh run through the entire mansion. He felt bad for Falco but a deal was a deal. Fox, who came back though was actually happy though for two reasons. One because Falco was apparently being dominated and two because he was having a nice view of Sonic's ass from where he was lying down. What could possibly go wrong tonight?
Number two went wrong when Sonic sat down on the chair.
It was fun while it lasted.

Me: TBC with 3521 words.
Li: Poor Falco...
Isaak: Poor Ike! He's the one zat lost!
Me: Holy cow! You two are together without beating each other up. This is a miracle! Notes!
There was this one Pokémon episode where Ash was possessed by the dark king and became evil. He did everything that Ash wouldn't do to his Pokemon.
Edit: Since I have a problem with a human being paired up with a furry in a sexual manner (but a kiss on the cheek is fine), I needed to change the whole Ash/Falco thing. I thought I was being creative with the pairing, but I just disgusted myself and supported the Sonic/Elise BS, so I'm changing it to something more Pokémon related like abuse of an animal instead of rape because I just hurt Ash as a character in this story. So from here on out, the plot for them will change.
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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike