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Leaving the Deep Roads	By : ArchaicLegend Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 3881 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

Chapter List
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The following weeks settled back into the usual distant pattern, the no fly zone between them had been reintroduced. She kept up her practice and had been able to start to help with some of the simpler healing tasks in the clinc. He was a patient teacher, giving helpful feedback but he made sure that he kept his distance. It hurt, she knew it was something that he was struggling with but it still felt like a rejection. She had done what she could about the Coterie, a quiet chat to Varric and some strategic deposits made sure they were appeased. She also made sure that the clinc had enough supplies, not enough to draw the wrong attention but enough to keep the sick well, there was nothing more she could do.
"So Hawke," Varric said as he leaned back in his chair ale in hand. "What's bothering you?"

She looked up from the almost empty pint she had been sitting on. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"I'd suggest you see a healer.... But..." Isabella said winking at her as she sat down. "I think that might be the problem."

Hawke could feel her face warm, "There's nothing.... I'm not .... He's not ...." She gave up.

Fenris slouched next to Isabella looking sour. "You can do better."

Hawke shot Varric a pleading look, he had that distant look he got when he was concocting a new story. She looked up as someone entered, but it was only Sabastian.

He took in Hawke's uncomfortable look and Fenris' dark expression. "So what have the mages done now?"

Hawke stood up quickly, "Nothing important, I was just about to go for another round. Will you be joining us?"

"Just a water for me," he said and pulled up a chair.

She started for the door. She was almost at the door when she heard Isabella's laughter she shot a look back at them, she hoped to the maker she wasn't telling Sabastian about her suspicions. She pondered going back to make sure when she stepped straight into someone. They caught her about the waist as she stumbled back. She made an embarising squeak, as she grabbed the arms that had caught her regaining her stability. She looked up straight into Anders amused gaze, his familiar lopsided grin on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to....."

He laughed quietly, "I'm glad caught you, I've been meaning to thank you..." He paused and looked at the others behind her. She could not see them but she could cool feel their gaze on her back. "I'm assuming I missed something," he said looking down at her.

She felt her face redden, "Just Isabella, being Isabella."

His amused gaze glinted wickedly, "oh really?"

She could feel her face getting even hotter, with an effort she released her grip on his arms. "I'm just off to get another round, will you be joining us?"

His smile slipped a bit she would never usually pass on an opportunity to flirt, it had caught him off guard. He released her awkwardly, "Um, yes."

She nodded and moved past him carefully, trying not to touch him as she did.
It was on the balance a good evening. The awkwardness of Anders' entry had given way to their usual relaxed comradery. They had all been telling their usual array outrageous, occasionally salacious tales. Even Sabastian had succumbed to the joviality, swapping his usual water for ale. It warmed Hawke to see them all together, even Merril and Avaline had managed to wander in to join them, though Varric may have had something to do with that. After loosing Bethany to the dark spawn, her mother to her grief, then Carver to the Templars she had felt truly alone. But these people had pulled her out, these people were her family. She smiled happily into her mug.

"What has you so cheerful?" Sabastian asked, his accent thick with ale.

"You all..." She paused her ale addled brain trying to find the words. "You are my family, after all that happened... It makes me happy, that is all."

He smiled at her and gave her a hug, his usual reserve loosening slightly. He kept his arm around her as he raised his cup, the others quieted. "To Hawke's new mismatched family, the Maker willing, we always bring her joy."

They all raised their glasses and drank deeply.

She lent against him, "Thank you."

He squeezed her shoulder, "I am glad the Maker allowed our paths to cross."

"Me too," she said. She looked across the table at Anders for a split second their eyes met. The intensity of his pain and longing took her breath away. She smiled at him trying to reassure him, but he looked away quickly, his hand that rested on the table clenched and unclenched unconciously. Without much ado he stood.

"I should be getting back," he said to Varric waving to farewell to the room. She was tipsy enough to tempt fate, she wriggled out from Sabastian's arm. He was already back in an intense conversation with Avaline about the relationship between the Templars and the guard and barely noticed.

She caught Anders in the corridor, "Would you mind company, at least part of the way, I should probably head home myself?"

He turned his face away from her, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

She decided to play stupid he was not going to get away with his usual vaugueries and doomsaying. "What on earth do you mean?" She said moving infront of him. Gently she put her hand up an turned his face towards her, smiling slightly, "I don't bite you know."

He closed his eyes, leaning into the touch slightly his light stubble tickling her palm. "No but I may." He took a shuddering breath and tore himself away. "I'm sure one of the others would be happy to accompany you," he said and fled.
It had been a month now since she had seen him and she had been reckless. Taking on contracts where she was far outnumbered, running into the heat of battle when her real skill was distance. She had been working hard on improving her close range magic she justified to herself, but it was a lie. The concern on Varric's face when he had dropped her off at the estate after the last one had spoken volumes. She hadn't even tried to heal herself, it reminded her too much of him. Bodan had raised his concerns as he stitched up the most recent gashes in her back. She had ignored him. This morning had been a challenge, but she had managed to get into her robes without tearing a stitch. She knew she need to rest, he wounds weren't too bad but she was a bit concerned about how feverish she had been feeling. She heard the front door bell ring and headed out hoping it wasn't another of the simpering lordlings trying to court her again, it wasn't. One of Anders' assistants stood in the entry way, she felt her tension rise.

"Is Anders ok?"

"Y..y...es missere, he asked me to ask you for help. There has been an outbreak in dark town ..... People are."

She cut him off with a gesture, "I'll just grab a few things and I'll head over there now."

"Thank you missere," the assistant said and bowed, leaving quickly. She shook her head she would never get used to the bowing. She grabbed some potions and her staff and headed down through the vault. She hadn't used the passage since she had come in with Carver, but it was definitely the quickest way.

The crowd around the entrance to Anders' clinic was massive she carefully slid through to where Anders was healing a sickly looking elderly gentleman. He looked up at her when she came close, relief and then concern coloured his features. "Are you well enough to help?"

She nodded, the action agrivating the throbbing headache that had been building all day. "I'm fine," she said sharply to hide the involuntary grimace.

He didn't look convinced, but the despiration of his current situation overrode his suspicions. He nodded to another of his asistants, "Gemma will direct the milder cases your way, heal them to the point where their immune system can take over. Timothy will give them a potion to help with the last of the healing. Rinse and repeat."

She nodded and headed over to the palet Gemma indicated and started.
Face after face blurred before her, she was careful to ration her strength but the sheer number of patients and her already compromised state was starting to take effect. Her head was throbbing and she was pretty sure she had torn several stitches when she had caught an old lady who had tripped on the uneven clinic floor. Suddenly there were no more patients, everyone was either resting in the clinic pallets or had gone home. Anders had collapsed into a chair and looked almost exhausted as she felt. She should get home she thought groggily, her head was pounding and she felt ice cold. She turned to pick up her staff and heard Anders release a stream of invective, she heard him move quickly towards her."Hawke you're bleeding," he said his voice strained.

"I'm f....." The world was spinning madly now. "Crap," she muttered and fell.
She could feel his cool healing magic flowing into her, she tried to push him away but she couldn't move. She was so cold. She could feel him push the poisonious infection from her blood, but with it went the last vestiges of her heat. She opened her eyes slightly, the light was dim and didn't slice through her brain like she thought it would. Someone had taken a warm wet cloth and was wiping down her back, the warmth was wonderful but her back cooled quickly in its wake and she began to shiver uncontrollably, her teeth chattering. She felt the blankets being pulled up over her then a warm weight settling next to her with extreme effort she turned, Anders was lying next to her his body ablaze with heat. Without a word he pulled her against him, she felt his warmth seeping into her. She closed her eyes and let exhaustion overtake her.
Slowly she climbed the rungs of consciousness, she was relaxed almost langerous and deliciously warm. She began to stretch feeling the complete lack of pain in her body, the bed creaked unfamiliarily and the arm across her waist tightened pulling her close. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up into Anders' brown ones. The light was dim, and darkness shadowed his features.

"Why?" He asked without preamble, his voice soft.

She looked down at her hands on his chest, he was still wearing his rough spun shirt and britches but his ever present coat was gone. She fiddled with the fabric, "Recklessness, stupidity, recalcitrance, masochism, self punishment... Take your pick." She knew it had been dumb, more than that it has been dangerous. She looked up at him, there was no judgement in his face only concern. She felt the need to explain, to justify it, to yell at him for pushing her away, but she couldn't. She snuggled in closer to him resting her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. He bent his head down so it rested on the top of hers. "Did you get any rest?" She asked quietly.

He smiled into her hair. "The best I have had in a long time."

They lay like that unmoving, knowing that the time they had at that moment was precious.

A knock at the clinic door told them that the real world needed tending to. Anders got up carefully, making sure she stayed warm under the covers. He picked up his coat from the back of the chair he had pulled nearby. His hair was sleep tousled and she watched as he pulled it neatly back into its thong. She smiled as she watched him, there was something completely genuine about watching him prepare for the day. This was him, before all the masks of society and expectation had fallen into place. He glanced down at her and saw her watching him. "What are you smiling at?" he asked as he tied off the thong.

"Just appreciating the moment," she replied. He smiled back at her, this time a little sadly and she knew reality had come crashing back. They heard the knock at the door again and he went to get it.

She heard Bodan's voice in the clinic, "I have brought the clothing you asked for, I hope missere is ok. I kept telling her to come see you."

"Thank you Bodan, even you can't get past her stubbornness sometimes. She is just in here." Anders entered with Bodan trailing behind carying a large knapsack.

"I hope you are feeling better Missere," he said formally. "Master Anders sent word that you had fallen ill and he would keep watch on you for the night."

She nodded. "Much better Bodan, thank you. Now if you two could give me a moment I should change."

It wasn't long before she was properly attired, she had stuffed her now ruined robes into the sack. Anders had sliced open the back from the neck to her hips when he checked her wounds. So between the bloodstains and the tear she was not sure they were salvageable. Walking out of Anders' room she was presentable and ready for action.

"Thank you for your help," she said formally to Anders. "If you need any supplies just let me know and I can get them sent down."

He nodded. "I will," he replied, also formally, the intimacy of their morning locked safely in memory.

She turned, following Bodan home.

"Hawke," Anders called after her. "Please look after yourself."

She turned, smiling gently. "I'll try."
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Leaving the Deep Roads