The Last of the Couslands | By : MistressofMagic Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 4395 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Bioware and EA own everything associated with the Dragon Age universe. I am making no money off of this fan fiction. |
Chapter 55
The Calm before the Storm Bridget drew her brows together and frowned at the bright light tearing through the darkness of her closed eyelids. She opened her eyes slowly to find herself lying in green grass. Bridget slowly sat up and looked at her surroundings. She sucked in a breath as she stared down at the green grass of spring, her nostrils filling with the smell of the wild flowers that were planted nearby. She recognized her surroundings immediately…Bridget was home…back in Highever. Bridget slowly stood and scrunched her toes into the soil. The birds nearby chirped a beautiful melody. She followed it and turned her gaze south. She let out a shaky breath as she stared at Highever Castle, her home standing proudly in the distance. Bridget smiled warmly as she felt a light breeze caress her face. That breeze carried with it a very familiar voice. She turned her gaze to the side of the castle and swallowed. She noticed her father, looking younger than she had ever seen him, his dark hair glinting in the sunlight, carrying something in his arms. Her mother stood next to him, smiling and carrying a young boy on her hip. Bridget walked towards them and fell into step beside her father. She looked at his face and noted the light crinkles in the corners of his eyes as he smiled down at the bundle in his arms. Bridget's eyes then landed on her mother. Eleanor's golden hair gleamed in the sunlight, and her hazel eyes twinkled. She placed a soft kiss to the young boy in her arms who Bridget knew immediately was Fergus. "She has your eyes, Bryce." Her mother said softly. At her mother's voice, Bridget moved her gaze to the small bundle of blankets in her father's arms. She gasped slightly as she stared at herself, no more than a week old. Her eyes were big and icy blue, just like they were now. Bridget looked back at Bryce and her heart warmed at the large smile on his face. Bryce nodded as he placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. "And she has little sprigs of golden hair, the same shade as yours." He replied, a chuckle rumbling through him. At this, Fergus lifted his head from Eleanor's shoulder and crinkled his nose. "She smells funny." He stated after removing his thumb from his mouth. Bryce lifted his head from gazing at his daughter and chuckled again. "There was a time when you smelled funny too, you know." Bridget chuckled as Fergus looked appalled. Eleanor set him down and watched as he ran off to play with their mabari hound. She turned to Bryce and smiled at him as he placed another kiss to Bridget's forehead. Bridget watched as her younger self wrapped her tiny hand around Bryce's pointer finger. She lifted her gaze back to her father, and felt tears fill her eyes at the pure awe in his face. "She is destined for greatness." He stated simply. Eleanor smiled proudly. "That she is my husband." Bridget smiled warmly, but frowned as the scene began to melt away. Highever castle, instead of standing proudly as it was moments ago, was now engulfed in flames. Bridget covered her nose and mouth as she began to cough. The smoke stung her eyes. She found herself in the larder again. Her parent's lay amidst all the broken glass and burning wood, engulfed in smoke. Both of them looked beaten and on the very hinges of death. All happiness that Bridget felt a moment ago was replaced by complete and utter sadness. Eleanor reached for Bryce's hand, her gray hair scattered about her. "B-Bryce…w-will Bridget be…s-safe?" she coughed and heaved against the smoke taking up the air in her lungs. Their hands finally found each other and once they had, they squeezed them. "S-She is a Cousland, Eleanor." Bryce paused as he coughed. After a moment, he started again. "No matter what is thrown at her, she will overcome it. She will be strong." The tears rolled freely down her face now. Bridget reached out towards her parent's, but just as she did so, a large beam collapsed from above them and landed on them both, which shook the whole castle. A rush of flames filled the room as Bridget screamed… Bridget sat straight up in her bed, gasping for breath. Her eyes darted around the room quickly as she placed her hand to her heart. Bridget licked her lips as she let out a shaky breath. Her head was pounding, though that probably had to do with the amount of alcohol she consumed the day before. She swallowed and sighed. Zeus was immediately at her side. He licked the side of her face and nuzzled his snout into her shoulder. Bridget hugged her mabari tightly and took a deep breath. Her father's last words repeated themselves in her mind. "She is a Cousland, Eleanor. No matter what is thrown at her, she will be strong." Bridget pulled herself away from Zeus and looked into his deep brown eyes. "Father's right." She said softly. Bridget swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood quickly, swaying slightly and nearly falling back to the bed. She shook her head and steadied herself, making note to never drink another (or at least that many) mugs of ale ever again. She walked over to the nearby mirror and looked at herself in it. "It's time I stop feeling sorry for myself…and move on. I am a Grey Warden. I am a leader. In the coming weeks I will lead an army against the Darkspawn horde and they will need me at my best…and I sure as hell am going to give them my best." She vowed. She knew the moving on part would take longer than a few weeks…but she couldn't dwell on that now. Alistair had made his choice (or been persuaded to for that matter), and if he didn't want her in his life, then so be it. Bridget opened her window and stuck her head outside. A rush of cold air hit her face, but it felt good and certainly woke her up. It was still early morning, as the sky was fairly dark. Perhaps everyone else was still asleep, and she could allow herself to go for a walk outside in Eamon's grounds. Bridget grabbed her cloak and threw it around her shoulders. She pulled up her hood once she finished lacing her boots. Zeus was at her side the moment she opened her door. They deftly walked down the stairs together, and slipped out into the grounds quietly. Bridget took a deep breath of fresh air and sighed. Her head still felt like she was being hit repeatedly by a frying pan, and realized that Oghren's teaching methods probably weren't the best around. She thought back to the night before and chuckled. Every time she had done something correctly, they celebrated with a swig of his 'special ale'. Bridget rubbed her forehead and sighed. Yes, she definitely was going to put off any more lessons with the dwarf for quite some time that was sure. A dusting of snow spread itself around the grounds during the night, and it crunched beneath Bridget's boots as she walked alongside the walls of the estate. "Oh, my lady I didn't expect to find you up so soon." Bridget turned at the voice and her eyes landed on Teagan, who also looked as if he had just woken up. His hair was a little ruffled and he was only dressed in a simple white shirt and brown breeches, a big difference from his usual, nobleman's attire. He carried with him a pot of tea and a cup. "I…I needed some fresh air." Bridget stated. Teagan smiled at her. Bridget sighed. "I may have had a bit too much ale last night." She confessed. Teagan nodded. "There's no need to explain yourself to me, my lady. I already had a feeling that was the case since you passed out while practicing with Oghren and I had to carry you to your room." Bridget looked mortified. Now that she thought back, she didn't remember how she got to her room. But why hadn't Zevran carried her instead of putting the burden on Teagan? Before she could ask, Teagan motioned to a nearby table. "Would you like to join me for a cup of tea? I made this myself as I didn't want to trouble the servants, so I'm not sure if it will be to your liking or not…but you are welcome to join me if you wish to test your taste buds against my concoction." Bridget chuckled and gave Teagan a small smile. "I think a cup of tea would do wonders for this headache." She stated. She followed Teagan to the nearby table and chairs and brushed the bit of snow out of her chair before sitting down. Teagan did the same as well as brushing the snow off of the table before he excused himself to fetch another teacup. He returned moments later with a teacup and saucer, as well as with a small plate of cookies. "I thought perhaps you would like to munch on these with your tea." Teagan offered as he sat down across from her. Bridget smiled and nodded, feeling an ebb of hunger in her stomach. Teagan poured her a cup of steaming hot tea and then poured his own. The two commenced into sipping tea and eating cookies, and were quiet for a few moments. "This tea is wonderful, Teagan." Bridget stated. Teagan smiled. "Then you are the only person on Thedas besides me who thinks so." He replied with a chuckle. Bridget smiled and reached out for a cookie. She plucked one from the pile and dipped it into her tea. "So…has Eamon remarked on what we do from here? It will take time for the armies I have recruited to arrive in Denerim, weeks even. Will we wait here for them, or does he have something else in mind?" Teagan swallowed the bite of his cookie he had and wiped his mouth on a napkin. "My brother wishes to return to Redcliffe for the time being since Satinalia is just around the corner. You and your friends are welcome to go back with us, of course…or if you wish to remain here, you are free to do that as well. Eamon wishes to return to Redcliffe for the holidays though…in case this is his last to celebrate." Teagan explained. Bridget nodded and mulled over a few things in her head before she replied, "If I send word for the armies I have recruited to meet us in Denerim on First Day, would that be alright? I do not believe the Horde would reach Denerim before then…I would say I trust my gut feeling, but my gut proved me wrong yesterday so I am not sure what to do anymore." Teagan looked at her as he drew his brows together. "I am sorry I could not tell you beforehand of their plans, my lady. No one should have had to experience the coldness that you did yesterday. I am sorry I could not save you some heartache." Bridget looked into Teagan's hazel eyes and shook her head. "I probably wouldn't have believed you if you had told me, Teagan. I'm quite stubborn like that. Please, don't blame yourself for what happened. It's certainly not your fault." She stated. Teagan gave her a small smile and nodded. "Very well, my lady. I am glad that you aren't upset with me." He said softly. They stared at each other for a moment, and Bridget felt a trust forming between them. Teagan felt it too, with a few other things as well. Bridget's eyes were as blue as the Waking Sea, and her personality was enough to match its fierce waves. He now understood how Alistair could fall in love with such a beautiful woman so quickly; her eyes were enough to capture you just from the beginning. Teagan also realized now what a complete idiot Alistair was for throwing such a powerful, strong willed woman completely to the side. Teagan blinked and took another sip of his tea. If he were ever lucky enough to find a woman who matched Bridget in any way, he knew for a fact that he would not let her go, not even if a king commanded him to. Bridget cleared her throat and shook her head. She looked down into her almost empty tea cup and noted, "It's funny how you and Eamon are brothers…and yet you are absolutely nothing alike." Teagan nodded. "We are indeed cut from the same stone…but perhaps we were cut with different tools." Bridget looked at him. "That's a very cunning response." She remarked, with a twinkle in her eye. Teagan smiled. "Thank you, my lady." Bridget shook her head. "None of this 'my lady' nonsense. Please Teagan, just call me Bridget." Teagan looked up from his teacup and settled his eyes on her. "Very well…Bridget." He replied. Her name tingled against his lips. Bridget poured herself a bit more tea and reached for another cookie. "I believe we will accompany you and Eamon back to Redcliffe. It will be good to have one last celebration with everyone before the final onslaught. I will prepare letters for the mages, elves, and dwarves, letting them know of our plans and to meet us at Denerim's gates on First Day." She stated. Teagan poured himself another cup of tea as well and nodded. "I will let Eamon know of your plans. And I agree with you…it will be nice to have everyone together one last time before we face the Horde." They both knew quite well that for some, this would be the last Satinalia they would celebrate, but neither of them said that as they continued to sip their tea and chat about other, lighter things. Zevran watched the two precariously from his window and smiled to himself. "Hmm…perhaps I won't have to intervene here after all…" xXx The following events occurred to Alistair in a haze. He felt lost, beaten, like a part of himself was missing…and it was. Every time he pulled out his mother's amulet, he pictured it around Bridget's neck, resting softly in the space between her clavicles. He often found himself pressing the metal locket to his nose, to see if it had captured any of her scent…only to find himself disappointed. What he had gathered from only half listening was that they would be traveling back to Redcliffe, to celebrate Satinalia. Often times, he glanced over at Bridget…but their eyes never met. She refused to look at him, and all he could do was stare at her. He hated himself for what he had done to her, all of the heartache he had caused her, and for what? Alistair was getting to the point where he couldn't even stand to look at himself. He took a lot of heat from his friends too, most of them would not meet his gaze either, and those that had to speak with him did so quickly so that they could get back to themselves. Alistair didn't blame them, though. He deserved every bit of the scorn, rebuff, and narrowed eyed glance he got. The day came when it was time to leave the estate, and he saddled his horse with his things quietly. He watched Bridget pet her horse's neck before placing her foot in the stirrup and swinging her leg over to rest on the other side of the graceful animal. Alistair stared at her and noticed what a profound effect the past few days had had on her. Usually, Bridget wore her hair in a casual bun, it was usually loose and bits of her hair would escape the pins…but now…her bun was severe, every sprig of her hair was held back, except for a few pieces on either side of her face. Those two pieces framed her face and made her look as beautiful as ever. Bridget turned in his direction and Alistair quickly dropped his gaze. He thought back briefly on all the nights they shared together, giggling and blissful in each other's arms. Alistair hung his head. He wouldn't find that type of love ever again, he just knew it. He climbed atop his own horse then and situated himself as comfortable as he could get. Alistair sighed as he looked over the rest of his friends. Wynne was trying to situate herself on her horse while Oghren held onto her for dear life, since he was too short to manage his own animal, he had to share with someone, and Wynne was the first to offer. Alistair turned to see Zevran whispering something into Leliana's ear and witnessed her blush and giggle before planting a sweet kiss on his lips and climbing on her own horse. Zeus trotted past Alistair then and bounded towards Bridget barking happily and wagging his tail. Eamon trotted up beside him and ushered him to the front of the group. Alistair shook his head. "I'll just stay back here, if that's alright." He said under his breath. Eamon looked at him a moment before sighing. "If that's what you want." He stated before clicking his tongue and moving his horse forward. Alistair lifted his head at Bridget's voice and turned to look at her. She was chatting with Teagan, who had ridden up next to her. "The sky looks clear for now…if we don't get caught in a snowstorm, we should make it back to Redcliffe within a week and a half." She stated. Teagan nodded. "That will give us plenty of time to prepare for Satinalia. Were you able to send off those letters to the others?" Bridget nodded. "Yes, three contacts from each party were staying in the Gnawed Noble and said that they would deliver my letters to their respective leaders." Alistair furrowed his brow. As the other Grey Warden of the party, Bridget should be talking to him about these things, not Teagan. But then Riordan came into view and he realized she must've been talking to both of them. It was then that they all trotted away from Eamon's estate and out of Denerim's city gates and back onto the dirt path. Alistair sighed, knowing that a long day of riding was ahead of him. And it was. For the most part, everyone was quiet, but often times the wind carried Bridget's voice to Alistair's ears, making him perk his head up and find her chatting with Teagan again. Alistair furrowed his brow. A closeness had seemed to develop between the two of them, for Bridget was being very easy going with him. "Ahem, Alistair?" Alistair snapped back to reality as he turned to see Zevran riding next to him. Alistair blinked. Zevran raised his eyebrows. "This is the first time someone has spoken to you in quite some time and you are choosing to ignore them?" he asked. Alistair shook his head. "I'm sorry, Zevran. I didn't hear you I was…distracted." He replied as his gaze drifted back towards Bridget and Teagan. Zevran furrowed his brow and followed Alistair's gaze before a wicked smile broke out across his face. He was quick to hide it from Alistair's eyes, however and cleared his throat. "I see you have noticed their closeness too." He remarked. Alistair didn't say anything as he actually noticed Bridget smile. Zevran tried not to show his enthusiasm. "She's been doing a lot of that recently, smiling I mean. In fact…Teagan has been quite the comfort to our Warden. I've spotted them taking walks and chatting about things as of late. They both appeared to be quite enjoying themselves." He stated. Alistair drew his brows together and looked at the elf. Zevran continued. "The pair of them look very comfortable together. I believe Bridget has found an everlasting friend in Teagan." Zevran had to fight the urge to say 'and something more', because he did not want Alistair to know everything right from the beginning. Zevran could see the fear in his eyes, however as he glanced back towards Bridget and Teagan. Noting the torment on Alistair's face, Zevran decided that he had had enough teasing…for now at least. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on my dear Leliana." He purred, and with that trotted his horse over to the bard. Alistair didn't even look at him as his eyes were so focused on Bridget and Teagan. He felt a surge of something in the pit of his stomach, but he didn't know what it was. The feeling was not a welcomed one, however, and Alistair decided to trot up towards Eamon, since he was close to Teagan and Bridget. Perhaps if he rode next to the Arl, he could hear exactly what they were talking about…and what was making Bridget smile so much. Alistair casually pulled out of the back of the party and rode up next to Eamon. He asked Eamon some stupid question, to make it look like that was the reason he moved towards the front. Teagan and Bridget, however, seemed not to notice. Alistair listened against the wind to their conversation. "Now I know you must be pulling my leg!" Teagan exclaimed. Bridget shook her head. "I assure you, I am not. Of course, I had no idea that Fergus and Oriana actually did do anything, but Fergus let it slip and therefore I had my trump card and could blackmail him into the next month." Teagan chuckled. "What a devious child you were, and only twelve years old." He stated. Bridget grinned. "I believe I get that from my mother's side. Since I had Fergus's confession in the palm of my hand, he had to teach me a few tricks with the sword, or else face our mother's wrath." Alistair felt his stomach do a small flop. Bridget usually only spoke of her family with someone she was close with. Exactly how much time had she and Teagan spent together in the days that followed the Landsmeet? "Is everything alright, Bridget?" Alistair turned his head slightly. Because his hood was up, they could not tell if the was slightly glancing over his shoulder at them, thankfully since that's what he was doing. Bridget heaved a heavy sigh. "All this time has passed…and yet I still do not know if my brother even lives." She whispered softly. Alistair felt a surge of that unknown, yet unpleasant feeling again as Teagan lifted his hand and rested it on Bridget's shoulder. Bridget lifted her head and looked at him. "Once all of this is over, and if Fergus does not turn up beforehand, I will personally help you search for him. I swear it." Alistair's eyes widened slightly as he noticed the life dancing behind Bridget's eyes as she looked at Teagan. Again another wave of that feeling overcame him, and Alistair snapped his neck forward, gripping the reins to his horse. Maker…it was going to be a long journey back to Redcliffe. xXx Bridget's prediction was spot on...almost. The journey to Redcliffe did not even take as long as she thought. About a week later she and the rest of the party trotted across the small stone bridge and back into Redcliffe. The citizens greeted their Arl warmly, and Bridget noticed that the quaint village had decorated for Satinalia, despite the knowledge of the Darkspawn slowly approaching. Decorative wreaths were hung on every door and banners of red, green, and gold hung from lampposts and over doorways. It seemed that these people were determined to have one last celebration before all hell broke loose. Isolde stood outside of the castle waiting for them, or Eamon rather. As soon as the older man dismounted from his horse, Isolde nearly threw him down with a forceful hug. Bridget watched their exchange and tilted her head to the side. Eamon seemed like a different man in the presence of his wife. His eyes were warm, and he actually smiled. It was as if his cold, jagged shell crumbled while he was with her. Bridget shook her head. A pity he wasn't like that at all times. Eamon then picked up Connor as the young boy nearly flew out of the castle to see him. Apparently, the mages took into consideration Eamon's condition, and granted permission to let Connor return to Redcliffe for the holidays since Eamon did not get to spend any time with him after the curse was lifted. Everyone dismounted their horses and followed Eamon and Isolde back into the castle. "Word spread here quickly of your victory in the Landsmeet, my husband. I am very proud of you." Isolde stated. Eamon nodded. "Yes well…it wasn't easy in the least." He replied. Bridget noticed Isolde glance over her shoulder and look at her before whispering something in Eamon's ear. Eamon whispered something back to her, probably along the lines of "I'll tell you later" and left it at that. Bridget narrowed her eyes, but quickly shook her head. No use in getting angry over gossip, since there was no way she could prevent it. Bridget tried to get her mind off of that and noticed that the interior of the castle was also decorated for Satinalia. Red banners hung from the ceilings and against the walls, and there was a large decorated tree in the center of the main hall. "I have done my best to decorate, or rather oversaw the servants as they decorated the halls…" Isolde's voice was lost as Bridget let herself sink into her thoughts. Something didn't feel right, and she knew exactly what it was. Despite how much she tried to forget about Alistair, he was always sneaking into her thoughts. Although he never remained there for long (if she could help it), and she practically never thought of him when Teagan was around, his absence from her side was always present. Bridget took a deep breath and slowly turned her head to look over her shoulder. Her icy blue orbs were immediately locked with his honey colored ones. Alistair gave her a small smile, a smile that she just couldn't return. Instead, she felt her eyes narrow and her mouth set into a frown before briskly turning her head back around. Bridget thought for a moment she saw hurt in his eyes, but didn't think much of it. It was his own fault…and despite hearing that if they got mages to help them conceive, that they had a chance, he was still against the notion of them getting married. Bridget shook her head and looked at her feet as she felt tears in her eyes again. No. She was not going to cry about this anymore, she was through with tears. "In a about a week, on Satinalia, we will have our feast as usual, but we will celebrate the rest of the week before then as well. I've already received letters from some of the other Arls and Banns, saying that they will attend our feast and festivities as well." Isolde continued. The rest of the day dwindled away slowly and soon enough, the meal for the night was ready and they all entered the dining hall and took their seats. Teagan sat next to Bridget's right as Zevran took the seat to her left. The rest of her friends took seats across from her, so Alistair would have to sit far away from them at the other end of the table. Bridget was so grateful for all of them, but knew she would eventually have to talk to her fellow Warden again because of the very reason that he was a Grey Warden. Bridget decided to not worry over it now, however, and enjoyed her meal that consisted of boiled chicken and mashed potatoes and other assortments of vegetables. She tried to make conversation and be cheerful, but she just wasn't feeling it. Bridget excused herself before the meal was finished and decided she needed some fresh air again. She quietly grabbed her cloak and made her way out onto the castle's grounds, and found herself in the company of a beautiful full moon. Bridget wrapped her arms around herself as she walked out into the courtyard, sighing and seeing her breath form in front of her and then quickly vanishing again. Throughout the entire meal she felt Alistair's gaze on her, and often times she found herself gazing right back at him. Bridget kicked a nearby bucket and crossed her arms. How could she ever expect to get over him if he was constantly in her presence? She let out a shaky breath and sat on the edge of the nearby well, gazing up into the full moon and twinkling stars. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and sighed. "Dammit." She whispered softly. Bridget had vowed not to cry over this anymore…but she couldn't help herself. She felt so alone, so bereft…. "My lady are you alright?" Bridget turned to see Teagan standing next to her. She looked up at him and swallowed, hoping that her hood covered the tears in her eyes. "Yes I…I was just in need of fresh air. I felt like I was suffocating back there." Teagan sat next to her on the edge of the well and looked at her. "My lady…please don't feel as if you have to keep up a strong face just for me. I know you are hurt…and I know you must feel like the only person in Thedas…but you are not alone." Teagan eyed her hand gripping the side of the well. He slowly moved his towards it but stopped. What if Bridget took it the wrong way, his placing his hand on hers in an effort of comfort, and thought he was trying to make a pass at her? Dear Maker that was the last thing he wanted her to think. Before Teagan could make a decision, however, Bridget turned to him and buried her face in his chest. Teagan, although momentarily startled by her sudden movement, did not waste any time embracing her shaking body as she sobbed into his chest. He thought of saying something, but remained quiet…thinking that Bridget had heard enough people tell her that everything was going to be alright. Instead he just held onto her tightly as she let out quite a bit of emotion. After a few minutes, Bridget calmed down and pulled away from Teagan slightly, enough to where she could look into his eyes. Teagan caught his breath. He wanted to wipe away the tear he saw clinging to the corner of her eye…he wanted to kiss her, to show her that someone could truly love her and not cast her to the side. The question was…could he be the one to show her that? After all, Bridget was still vulnerable, having only a week and a few days ago been abandoned…she was not ready to let her heart open up to another man. Plus…what would the other nobles think? It was quite obvious that Bridget was not a virgin, and the knowledge of her having past relations with the future king of Fereldan was not something that went unnoticed at the Landsmeet. How would it look to them if Teagan were to one day court her? And then there was the prospect of her possibly not being able to give him children. Although, he wouldn't deny the mages help them as Alistair had…in fact, he would be all for it. Teagan sighed. Alistair was another problem altogether. He had known him since he was a boy, as they were only separated by a handful of years. Teagan didn't know exactly how Alistair would feel about him courting Bridget if they survived the final attack…but he had a notion that he wouldn't be exactly pleased… "Did you hear me, Teagan?" Teagan blinked and looked back down at Bridget. She was staring up at him and had a faint smile on her lips. "F-Forgive me my lady, I did not." Bridget nodded. "I said thank you. Out of everyone you…you have provided a comfort to me that the others could not. You listen, Teagan. That is a remarkable quality, and one I hope you never lose." Teagan swallowed. Bridget was making it considerably harder with each passing minute to remember to keep himself in control of his desires. This attraction was not a subtle one…Teagan realized way back when, when Bridget first approached him in the Chantry in the village he thought her beautiful then, and now that he had gotten the chance to know her, to see what a wonderful and caring person she was, that initial attraction was now ten times greater than what it had been. Bridget patted his shoulder and stood, turning to face the castle. "I believe I should head off to bed. I'm pretty exhausted." She stated. Teagan stood as well. "Will you permit me to walk you to your room?" Bridget looked at him and gave him a small smile. His formality was comforting as well. Bridget shrugged, hell she may as well admit it, all of Teagan was a comfort. Just being in his presence soothed her…calmed her. As they walked back into the castle together, she caught herself staring at him out of the corner of her eye. Not only did Teagan have such wonderful traits, he was also very handsome. Teagan held with him an air of sophistication, in a respectable manner and not a pompous one. He was witty and charming, his politeness being one of his best qualities… Before long they stood outside of Bridget's room, which brought her out of her thoughts. She turned to Teagan and smiled. "Thank you, Teagan…for everything." She stated. She opened the door to her room and slipped inside, nodding to him as he wished her a goodnight as well. Bridget rested her back against the door and sighed. Her mind was spinning with thoughts, but she was just too tired to make sense of them at the moment. She peeled off her armor and washed up in the nearby basin before pulling on her shift and crawling between the fur blankets on the bed. Zeus rested happily at the foot of it, laying on his back and his legs kicking in his sleep. Bridget chuckled softly and closed her eyes…only to find that once again, sleep was out of her grasp. Bridget had trouble sleeping ever since the Landsmeet, except for the one night when she got drunk. She knew what her problem was, too. For so long now she had had Alistair lying next to her, holding her in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into her ear that she felt out of place being in such a large bed by herself. Bridget wondered if Alistair felt the same…was feeling her absence beside him as well. "Damn…how can I ever hope to get over this if I still think about him all the time?" she whispered. Bridget rolled onto her back and stared up at the wooden ceiling. The coming days were supposed to be joyful and happy…how was Bridget supposed to celebrate when so many things had gone wrong? She couldn't ignore the fact that she missed Alistair; she couldn't ignore the fact that this would be her first Satinalia without her family…she couldn't ignore the Darkspawn steadily moving towards Denerim. Bridget sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn't ignore the fact that despite what had happened…she was still in love with Alistair… Yes she was angry, yes she was hurt…but despite all of that, she still loved him. But the question was did he still love her? He said he did, but if he truly loved her he would have never questioned making her his queen, Eamon's persuasion or no he would have stayed true to his heart…wouldn't he? Or had Eamon been so overbearing that Alistair really didn't have a choice in the matter? Bridget sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. It looked as if she would be speaking with her fellow Warden sooner than she thought… A/N: Whew! Another long chapter for you, lovelies! I really hope you are all happy with this chapter; I had some difficulties writing it. As always, thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and adding this story to your favs/alerts! 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