Depths of memory | By : blackdiamondprincess Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5730 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Hey
ya'll! Finally back home after my voyage to the US!
Thanks
for the reviews those of you took the time to write; I hope you'll like this
chap as much as the others. Enjoy.
__________________________________________
5. Intertwined souls
__________________________________________
New Xillion City, spring 2004
Tuesday
evening, 6.12 pm
The car
ride back home was a silent one. I didn't want to talk to Sora about what had
happened back in the studio; I couldn't even put it up to look at him without
having feelings of guilt washing over me. His eyes turned my way from time to
time, wanting to start a conversation, but changing his mind every time he had
barely opened his mouth and turning his head back to look at the scenery
outside my car.
He too had
gotten silent after I had cried into his arms that someone had killed him… He
knew to whom I had been referring to, and even though he had told me that
things were different from back then, I knew that the news of Soryan's murder
was a dishevelling one.
I wanted to
tell him that what happened to Soryan wouldn't affect his life, but I just knew
that that would be a lie, a big selfish lie. I almost regretted telling him
what I heard and I desperately wanted him to talk to me, say something, no
matter what.
I was so
afraid and feeling so guilty; emotions that had been Ryuu's too back then,
since he hadn't been able to save his Soryan by the looks of it. There was also
a constant, nagging frustration and feeling of helplessness growing inside of
me; what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to stop whatever was coming
towards Sora and me?
I had
unconsciously gripped the steering wheel tighter and as I drove into a street
on my right, it was with so much anger that we both heard my tires screeching
beneath us.
Sora was
looking at me again, but I just refused to return his gaze for fear of seeing
his worried expression. I didn't want him to worry, I wanted to protect him,
let him know that I wouldn't let anything happen to him.
I suddenly
realised that I resembled Ryuu by thinking those thoughts, but it didn't irk me
in any way, I had accepted in the mean time that Ryuu was as much of me as I
was as much of him. I would do anything to keep Sora safe. Anything.
I closed
the door to my apartment after Sora and I had entered it, and immediately saw a
large red suitcase lying on the dinner table.
"Leon must've come by and dropped the
rest of my stuff…" Sora said quietly, a strange expression on his face as
he laid a hand on his suitcase and let out a shaky sigh.
I squinted
and then approached him, tilting his chin up so he'd look at me; I instantly
read the large amount of insecurity and fear in them. "I won't let you
leave." I simply said before pressing my lips against his without warning,
his surprised gasp muffled by my possessive kiss. I pulled him closer to me,
wanting to make him feel that I was being serious, that no matter what
happened, I wanted to be there for him. His hesitant hands sliding up my
shoulders told me that he had indeed been afraid that I had wanted him to leave
and so I reinforced my grip on him, pressing him more against me with my left
hand on his smaller back and deepening the kiss with my other hand on the back
of his head. His tongue met mine hesitantly, his moan vibrating against my
lips. I felt him clutching to me, pressing closer and in response, I slid my
hands down his back and rounded the curve of his buttocks. He moaned again and
I unconsciously grinded myself against him, wanting to hear that sensual
response again.
The press
of his little hands against my chest and his weak whimper made me break the
kiss, knowing that if we continued on, we'd end up doing something we both
weren't ready for. He then threw himself in my arms again, his head resting
against my chest and his small hands grabbing hold of the fabric of my jacket
almost in a desperate manner.
"Thank
you." He whispered, his eyes closed and voice trembling with held back
tears. "Thank you for finding me."
I frowned
slightly at that, not understanding why he suddenly had to say something like
that. I just held him to me, closing me eyes and sighing. I felt like I had
lived for centuries and only now had found rest in his arms. Maybe it was that
that he meant? He had been searching for me, like I had unconsciously been
searching for him…
8.58 pm
Sora was
sitting at the dinner table, pre-editing the pictures from the photo shoot on
his laptop; the illuminated computer screen was reflected in his glasses, his
concentrated face changing colours like a chameleon with every click of his
portable mouse.
I brought
him his second mug of coffee of that evening and wanted to walk into the small
hall leading to the bedrooms when he called me back.
"Dom
said he wouldn't be on time for your shoot tomorrow, and asked me to cover for
him until he gets there." He told me, taking off his glasses and looking
up at me with a smirk.
I smiled
back, "That's great, Sora! This will be a chance for you."
"Yeah,"
He smiled, putting his glasses back on, and typing something very quickly on the
keyboard, "too bad it's not only going to be you in front of my
camera."
I frowned, "What
do you mean? I thought it was just going to be an individual session?" I
asked, a little confused, Cloud did say that the Von Aglio's
house had asked explicitly for me.
Sora however,
shook his head, "No, it's going to be you and some guy called Sephran… Sephiran— Wait I have
his name in here somewhere…" I watched him taking a sheet of paper out of
the bag he usually kept his laptop in and read it. "Right, it's Sephiroth Nobuhiro." He then said with a content face. "I
remember that name from somewhere, but I can' figure out from where… Do you
know him?"
I shook my
head in all honesty; that name unknown to me. I was feeling a little betrayed
though, why did they suddenly take away my private shoot?
"Oh
don't look like that, Riku," Sora suddenly chuckled, making me conscious
of the expression of disappointment that was on my face. "I know from some
of your colleagues that you're the star of the magazine… I'll make sure that
that guy doesn't steal your shine…" He then mockingly added, his grinning
teeth looking blue-ish in the light emitted from the
screen in front of him.
I chuckled,
how was it that he exactly knew how I felt? And how was it that he just knew
how to make me see how stupid it actually was to feel that way?
I watched
him work further on his laptop for a while, wanting to keep him company as the
evening proceeded and an apprehending silence came in between us.
Around 9.30
I heard a set of keys jingling at the other side of the front door and a moment
later we both saw Kairi step in, her hands full with bags from different
stores.
"Hi
boys," She greeted and I could hear that she had had to take the stairs.
"Did
some exercise?" I grinned, standing up as I saw her fumble with her keys
and her bags, all the while trying to turn around and closing the door behind
her.
She blew a
strand of her auburn hair out of her face and handed me a few bags so she could
close the door. "What the hell is wrong with that elevator?!"
I shrugged
sheepishly and looked at Sora who was grinning behind his laptop, "It
worked just fine when we came up."
She
grumbled something underneath her breath and dropped her other bags on the
couch on her way to the kitchen. "I'm starving! What did you guys make?"
"We
left some for you in the microwave," Sora responded, closing his laptop
and taking off his glasses to rub his eyes. He was tired.
"Did
you see your suitcase, Sora? Leon dropped by around 4 today, I just
told him to leave it on the table." Kairi said from the kitchen before the
sound of the microwave went off.
"Yeah,
thanks Kairi," Sora then said, stifling a yawn and disconnecting his
laptop to put it back in his case.
"I
don't know how we're going to accommodate with you now being here," She
stepped out of the kitchen with a plate with steaming food in her one hand and
a glass of water in the other, sitting herself at the table and giving me a
questioning look. "We only have two rooms. I know it would be more obvious
for you to bunk with Riku, but since he has a phobia about homosexual
men—"
"Sora
can sleep with me, it's already been arranged." I simply said from my seat
on the sofa.
Sora was
chuckling softly; I could hear him as I picked up the remote for the TV. Was
Kairi looking that surprised? Oh right, she didn't know about Sora and me. Come
to think of it, it was all kind of a strange story to tell her about.
I turned my
head to the dining area to see Sora walk over to me and sitting himself next to
me. He rested his head on my lap and calmly watched the television as I locked
eyes with my other roommate to read her expression. She was torn, to say the
least, between believing her eyes and jumping to conclusions too fast.
"Are
you two…?" she soundlessly asked me, pointing at Sora who was invisible
from where she was sitting. I gave her a grin, I had to admit that the
ambiguity of the situation was clear, but I just shrugged, not giving her an
answer, since I honestly didn't even know what she thought 'We were…?' I'm
cruel, I know. But it's so much fun, especially when Kairi's is the dupe. I
love her dearly, but I love to pull pranks on her more.
I turned my
head towards Sora's lying on my left thigh and raised a hand to caress his
spiky tresses. "If you want to sleep, you can go to bed already." I whispered
softly to him, watching how he turned to lie on his back so he was looking up
at me.
"Am I
making you feel uncomfortable?" He asked, moving
to sit himself next to me, his face set on hesitation.
"No,
silly," I chuckled. Coaxing him to lay back the way he had before,
"It's just that I saw you yawn earlier and you don't need to stay with me
if you want to sleep."
He pouted
slightly, "It's just that… I'd rather have you with me in there… at least
until I fall asleep…"
I nodded
knowingly, brushing a strand of his brown locks out of his beautiful eyes and
tapping with my right index on his nose, "I'll go with you then; I have a
long day ahead of me anyway."
He gave me another of his wonderful smiles and
got up. I followed close behind him and as I passed Kairi's sceptic glare, I
chuckled and pressed a kiss on her forehead, "I want to talk to you first
thing in the morning." I actually wanted to ask her about her father's
motives for asking me out for dinner tomorrow.
"Same here, Blondie." She responded, her eyes following us as we
retreated into my bedroom. "Don't make too much noise in there!" I
could hear her say after I had closed the door.
A simple
'goodnight' would've largely been enough, Kai, jeez…
11.17 pm
His petite body
was clutching against mine, his soft breath caressing my throat and jaw line. I
couldn't help but admire him and feeling my heart beat faster with every sleep
induced moan he emitted. His pink voluptuous lips were slightly separated, his
eyelashes peacefully resting on his cheeks, his mind completely submerged into
the depths of his sub-conscience.
Gods, he
was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life… My right index
slightly touched his nose piercing, wondering when he had had it done and if
maybe he had other piercings elsewhere on his body…
No need to
tell that the more I spent time with Sora, the more and more attracted I felt
myself become to him. The dreams in which Ryuu and Soryan make love just kept
repeating themselves in my head and I've been struggling with boners almost all
day. I know, you might think that I'm slightly perverted, but you wouldn't be
able to do otherwise when you have a gorgeous creature like Sora lying next to
you, curled around and against you so enticingly.
"Whya'youtouzchin'mynoze…?" He suddenly murmured, his
eyes still closed, making me chuckle in shame for being caught.
"Sorry…
go back to sleep…" I whispered, kissing him on
his lips tenderly and letting him adjust the grip he had on my chest with his
right hand. His questioning frown soon dissipated itself into a worriless
expression, his body relaxing back into sleep.
I wanted to
hold him to me like that forever, just him and me in our world alone, the rest
just passing us by and leaving us be. Nothing else
mattered in that moment, he was all I needed and I was all he needed.
"Don't…!
I—no! Seiyuu!"
I looked
down at him with a frown, his low mumble shaking me out of my thoughts again.
Where did I hear that name before?
"You
don't know how much he means to me… please… don't go…"
His grip on
me tightened anxiously and I grabbed his hands in one of mine, wanting to
comfort him, "Shh… I'm here… don't
worry, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be with you forever."
To my grant
dismay he suddenly started to sob and grabbed me even tighter, crying
uncontrollably. I continued to whisper soothing words to him until he finally
stopped, the dream he had been having apparently coming to an end.
What just
happened? Was it another one of those dreams? Who was Seiyuu?
And why did that name sound so familiar…? Another past life
incarnation?
__________________________________________
Wednesday
morning, 10.01 am
"I
still don't get it… why does your father want to work with me?"
Kairi took
the remote of the TV and silenced the aerobic program that was on, taking the
short break to stretch her leg- and arm muscles while she looked out of the
window.
"Because,"
she said, "his company has developed a new product and he wants you to
become it's new face."
"Why me?" I questioned, watching her bend over with her legs spread and touching
the green work-out carpet with her forehead. That was pretty impressive… and
pretty flexible too…
"Because,"
Sora came into the conversation, walking out of the room he and I shared last
night, "You are gaining in popularity amongst the crowd of this
city."
I gave him
a sceptic stare; so I was popular with the male homosexual population. What
help would that be to Mr Kuro?
"And
no; not just with the homosexual population; girls love you too." He said
and I thought I heard a slight hint of discontent in those last four words. I
put it aside though; he had once again known exactly what I was thinking. How
did he do that? How did he know about the girls?
"Right,
Sora," Kairi breathed, as she successively touched her right toe with her
left hand fingers and her left toe with her right hand fingers, "And I
would hold on to that boyfriend of yours very tightly."
Sora looked
at me with his deep pools of blue and I reached out a hand to him that he took,
“He has nothing to fear; we won't lose each other…” I then softly added, "This time it's
forever…"
I was
suddenly aware of the awkward silence that had followed those words. Sora was
still looking at me, though it was with a hesitant smile. “What?” I asked,
wondering why they were both looking at me as if I had said something crazy.
“Normally I
would say that that was so sweet, but I’m kinda
hesitating because this is not like you at all," Kairi spoke while she
slid down on the floor and did a split, "You two barely know each other.”
“Oh come on,
Kai. Give love some slack here!” I chuckled and pulled Sora to me, brushing a
few of his chocolate strands out of his face, “I like Sora. A
lot. It’s just the way I feel about him… And I know it’s how he feels
about me… I don’t want anyone else.”
Sora blushed
cutely and averted his eyes, softly whispering my name. I then turned my head
towards Kairi again, but she turned her head to the window and resumed her
stretching.
I sighed
inwardly as I looked at her, feeling a little bad for reasons I already explained.
I just wished she would stop torturing herself like this; how long was I
supposed to put my life on hold just so she wouldn’t feel hurt?
I felt a
gentle finger caressing my right cheek and I focused my attention back on Sora.
He gave me a questioning look, silently asking me what was wrong. I shook my
head reassuringly and let go of him, walking over to my jacket that hung over a
chair. “We’re gonna be late for class, come on Sora.”
As I opened
the door and held it open so Sora could exit, I saw Kairi bend over the
windowsill as she closed her eyes and sighed out softly. I felt sorry for her,
but I couldn’t give her what she wanted… I wasn’t the one she was searching
for; I wasn’t what she needed…
1. 22 pm
I was
sitting on one of the benches surrounding the eastern fountain in central park,
reading through the notes I had taken in the last class and waiting for Sora to
finish his so we could head over to the magazine for my photo-shoot scheduled
at 2. I sighed out and dropped the pencil I had been holding on my opened
notebook. Psychology had never interested me much, hence the reason why my
notes were almost nothing more than one big bramble. I scratched the back of my
head in annoyance and closed the book with the pencil in it. I laid back, a smile
crossing my features as my face came to lie in a few rays of light that had
managed to come through the leaves of the tree above me. With my eyes closed I
sat there for maybe two, three minutes, my mind thinking about last night and
Sora’s body pressed close to mine. I had really enjoyed the feel of his skin so
close to mine, his small hands on my chest, his right calve curled around mine
and his soft breath tickling my senses… Even a girl never held me like that in
bed; so sensual and innocent at the same time… Granted, I’ve never had a
serious relationship with any girl; the sex always had been abundant, and in
most cases… plain bad, but the point is that Sora is the first one I don’t need
to have sex with to have him hold me as he did last night… Doesn’t that count
for something?
I bend
over, leaning my elbows on my knees and chuckled, just like that. I just
chuckled. Odd isn’t it? If someone had told me that I would fall head over
heels for a boy I barely knew a week ago, I just would have had kicked his ass.
And kicked it good.
I heard
footsteps approaching me from my right and I turned my head to see Sora walking
up to me in company of a white-haired, tall guy with whom he was laughing and
acting… a bit too friendly. A frown formed on my face; Sora did say that he
didn't know anyone in the city except for his uncle and Leon, right? Then where
did he meet this guy? Is he a classmate maybe? Of course, that’s what it was.
No biggie then… However, wait, why was that guy laying an arm around my boyfriend’s
shoulders and pulling him closer to him?
I stood up
and was ready to walk up to them as Sora spotted me and waved at me merrily,
instructing me to come closer.
“Hey Riku,”
he greeted me as I took him in my arms. He planted a soft kiss on my lips, but
my eyes were still fixed on the man he came with. Mister had the decency to
look away as we kissed, so I directed my eyes back to Sora as he pulled back.
“I want you to meet my professor in art aesthetics, Sephiroth Nobuhiro. He gave me my first class this morning.”
“Nobuhiro?” I echoed, holding out my hand to the man. “You
are a model, right?” I politely asked, even though I wanted to break his face
for having touched my Sora in the way he did and taking away my private shoot.
His green
eyes flashed my way and a small smirk crossed his features, giving me the
creeps. There was something about him that just didn’t feel right.
“Yes I am,”
He answered, letting go of my hand and folding his arms over his chest, as if
asking me what I was going to do about it. “And you are Riku Masako, star of
the popular ‘CQ’- magazine. I have read all about you. Nevertheless, your
biography did not mention your homosexuality. Recently converted?”
Before I
could even be surprised by the fact that there was a biography of me out there
without me knowing of it, I was already irritated to the point of no return by
the mocking tone of his voice as he had spoken his last two sentences. I
chuckled amenably instead and gave Sora an affectionate gaze that he returned
by grabbing my right hand. “You really can’t trust those reporters; they never
get it right.” I said nonchalantly.
He smirked,
“Spoken like a true star.” He then brought his right arm to his face a read his
watch, “So, Sora told me that we are both going to be in the same photo-shoot
later?”
Sora
suddenly gasped and looked at his watch, “Oh, we need to go; those Von Aglio people are coming at 2.15.”
As the
three of us walked towards the nearest exit of the park, I got to know more
about Sora’s professor. He’s a model for a modeling agency, but only works for
it now and then, because of his full-time job as professor and also because he
can’t and doesn’t want to expose himself too much due to his job. When I asked
him why he had accepted to pose for the most popular designer of male swimwear
from which the pictures would appear in the most bought gay magazine in the
city, he told me with a strange smile that he hadn't been able to refuse the
offer. At my sceptic face he had just laughed and
brushed his hair back. I saw Sora looking at him with silent admiration and I
swear I could've got killed Sephiroth right then and there. Who the fuck did he
think he was!
My first
impression of him hadn’t been a good one and I doubted that I would ever come
to like this person. He constantly came over to me as if he was hiding
something, and I definitely did not like that. It felt like he was pretending
to be someone he was not.
Maybe Sora
fell for the masquerade, but I definitely didn't. And don't you even think for
a second that I'm being selfish or jealous; I promised myself I would protect
Sora and that also means keeping him away from creeps like Nobuhiro.
__________________________________________
Hoax, fall-winter 1253
Her eyes fluttered closed as a gentle wind
carrying the last signs of autumn blew through one of her room’s windows, her
curly auburn locks swaying softly, making her look even more beautiful to him
than the last time he saw her. Maternity had enhanced this treat of hers, her
growing belly just slightly sticking out from her enlarged, green with gold
robe. He was marveled by how fast their little heir was growing inside of this
beautiful woman and by how much he had come to miss her in the past few weeks.
She sighed out softly, her left elbow on the
windowsill as she stared dreamily over the changing woods surrounding the
castle.
He approached her from behind soundlessly,
taking off his sword belt and heavy over-tunic, laying them on the bed, so he
was only in his leather pants and a white, linen under-tunic.
His calloused, yet soothing fingers erased all
of the possible negative thoughts as he touched her exposed right shoulder, his
soft lips on her bare skin telling her how much he had missed her on those many
nights away from her.
“You’re back…” She shakily whispered, her
breath catching in her throat and her eyes flickering shut as he kissed her in
her neck, “You’re back…”
He retreated from her so she could turn around
and face him. A gasp escaped her and the rosary that she had been holding fell
on the floor. She took a step back and clumsily tried to cover up her
shoulders, "How dare you come in here! Leave, at once!"
He darkly chuckled, his jade eyes leisurely
running up her body and halting on her rapidly rising and falling chest before
moving up to her mesmerizing set of amethyst orbs. "Come on, Kilana… I've
been away for a few months and this is how you welcome me back?"
Kilana averted her face and closed her eyes,
"I have nothing to say to you, now leave, Seiyuu,
before I call the guards." She started to walk towards the exit.
Seiyuu smirked and beat her to the door, "How is my brother by the way? I
hear that he's gone with prince Soryan to Nevoya?
That's a long trip, so I guess they won't be back for a while?" He then
turned around so his back was at the door and gave her another smirk.
The princess defiantly faced him, knowing that
since Soryan or Ryuu weren't here to keep Seiyuu away
from her, she had to do it on her own. "What do you want?"
A devilish grin appeared on his features and he
approached her, taking a step each time she took one back. "I think the
question is what you want, Kiki… What you truly
want."
She was slightly panting now and her breath
hitched in her throat as she bumped in against her husband's desk that was
already standing against the opposite wall. "I truly want you to get
out." She whispered, her eyes locked with his as
she subtly searched for something to throw at him with her right hand on the
table behind her.
He was now right in front of her and he leaned
in to whisper in her ear, "Now say it like you mean it."
She gasped as he took hold of her right hand
and licked her earlobe, "Stop! Seiyuu!" She struggled and slapped him in his face with her
left hand. She took the opportunity to run away from him while he was still in
shock after her slap and tried to open the door, to find that it had been
locked. Kilana almost cried in desperation at that and kept yanking at the
doorknob without result.
"Why are you so keen on running away from
me?" Seiyuu spoke, legging his way to her, his
voice showing slight anger.
"Because I don't want to see
you, never again! I told you that what happened
between us before you left was a mistake!" The redhead now almost cried,
facing him. "It shouldn't have got happened!"
"Tell me," Seiyuu
whispered, resting with his hands against the door and gazing into Kilana's eyes intently, "Tell me that you didn't feel
anything that night and I'll go."
She looked him square into the eyes, "I
didn't feel anything."
He kept looking at her, searching for a
fragment of dishonesty, but found none. "Kilana…"
"Go. Now."
She then whispered sternly, stepping away from him as his arms surrounding her
lowered.
He took his discarded clothing from the bed and
put a hand on the doorknob before looking back at her, "We made love, Kiki. That child growing inside of you is proof of
that." With that he opened the door and left.
The princess sank to the floor and sobbed while
she took hold of her growing belly. She had known for the past four months that
the child she was carrying wasn't Soryan's…
The hot tears of regret streamed her cheeks as
she continued to cry. Soryan could be coming back home any day now and it was
certain that he couldn't know about the baby's true father. It would jeopardize
so many things… their marriage, the treaty, her crown and the future of her
country and Soryan's…
"God please help me…" She whispered,
taking the rosary back in her hands and starting a prayer.
Just outside her window, the last leaf of a
tree fell off, twirling and swaying in the wind, before flying up into the
cloudy sky and disappearing.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
To be continued…
-BDP-
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