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Fate and Fear MST	By : Birdie Category: +A through F > Devil May Cry Views: 3879 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Devil May Cry game series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
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*Dante strides in triumphantly as Vergil limps in, sour-faced*

Sparda: Vergil, what happened to you? O_O;;

Vergil: *dryly* Dante rode me hard and fast.

Sparda: *checks Sexy Gentlemen's Pocket-Watch(TM)* it's only been a 5 minute intermission.

Vergil: *even more dryly* what part of "hard and fast" confuses you?

Dante: *smirking* venio, video, vinco.

Vergil: you're in the present tense, dumb-arse.

Dante: shuddup. -_-

Fate and Fear MST

Chapter 4.5a

//He continued, the serious expression on his face changing, to show his train of thought.//
Vergil: Dante, when did you need to justify yourself to anyone!

Dante: hey, changing expression is good for the facial muscles!

Vergil: you want a face as hard as your abs?!

Dante: next time you punch me on cheek you'll see the usefulness!

Vergil: *punches Dante's face*

Dante: ...maybe not that soon... @_@
//" What does it do?"//
Dante: extinguishes Mary-Sues at a 5km radius.
//" It's the key to the Underworld's Mirror Realm.//
Dante: Mirror... Realm...?

Sparda: yes, also known as "Mundus' BDSM Room".

Vergil: dare I ask why you were in there?

Sparda: *shakes head quickly* no, don't you dare. *blushes*
//What it does is it basically gives me access to a whole bunch of treasures,//
Vergil: the complete series of "Buffy" as WELL as "Angel" on DVD!

Dante and Sparda: oooooh! *_* aaaaahh! *_* eeeeeeee! *_*
//weapons,//
Vergil: like this. *holds up a toothpick*

Dante: or this! *holds up Christianna's face*
//and brand new skills.//
Sparda: whatever happened to attending evening classes? You don't have to team up with underage whores to do that.

Dante: trust me dad, times have CHANGED.
//It's a gem that was passed down by the dark lords since the beginning of time.//
Vergil: because the biggest disgrace was to be seen with it.
//Mallet island just so happened to be the only place where the crystal could be aquired.//
Dante: with the exception of eBay.
//The gateway however, is not even in this world.//
Twins: well that's just fucking SUPERB, isn't it?!
//I have quite a bit more research to do before I find out where to get a hold of this gateway." He explained.//
Sparda: *sarcastically* amazing, Dante. You really know how to plan ahead.

Dante: *rolls eyes* it was on my to-do list...

Vergil: *cynically* which number?

Dante: .............................. 78.
//The girl seemed in awe again, at what knowledge the man had.//
Vergil: what the fuck!? Dante's as smart as a glass of water!!

Dante: *burns Vergil with Agni* >_<

Sparda: well, that certainly proves Christianna's IQ...
//At first Christianna seemed to think that this dude was all brawn.//
Sparda: *grabs The Concise Oxford dictionary* Brawn. 1 Muscle; lean flesh. 2 Brit. A jellied preparation of the chopped meat from a boiled pig's head.

Twins: ??? o_O are you serious?!

Vergil: trust the English to be the "creative"...
//Just muscle and no brain, a macho dude that was supposed to save the damsel in distress.//
Dante: yeah, "dude"! ^_^

Vergil: humph, Christianna isn't a damsel in distress: she's distress in a damsel.

Sparda: run!
//But now she new that he had brains to.//
Sparda: to what?

Dante: survive, but not continue the sentence.

Vergil: or see there is a difference between to, too and two.

Sparda: nothing "new" there.
//Not only was he the sexiest,//
Dante: damn right!

Vergil: ...voted by pensioners over 70 and little girls who's brains were replaced with an overlarge libido...
//strongest man she had ever met, but he was also now the most intellegent.//
Sparda: which is far more than we can say for HER.
//" ...WOAH! Sounds ...' important' " Teased Christianna,//
Vergil: this girl... is such... a RETARD!!
//reaching her hand towards Dante's tight looking butt.//
Sparda: tight looking but actually complete flab.

Dante: DAD!!! >_<

Vergil: *sniggers* nice one, father.

Sparda: sincerest apologies, I couldn't resist.
//" Watch where that things going..." He joked back to her, brushing her delicate hands away from his rear end.//
Sparda: *furious* in MY days, if an unmarried girl even LOOKED at a man then she would be a disgrace! She would never be able to get married! She'll end up in a one-penny brothel! Honestly, adolescents nowadays! They're worse now than during Mundus's reign!! *rants like a grandparent*

Dante: *under breath* blah-blah-blah, we've all heard your old-man speech, dad.

Vergil: wasn't your day the era where an under-aged flute girl hung around every street corner?
//The two soon arrived at a dead end, a large tablet that resembled the " Rosetta Stone " sat in the middle of an altar.//
Vergil: because the authoress wasn't creative enough to make up her own historical monument.
//The altar was decorated by many statues of the underworld gods.//
Sparda: ha! Devils need no gods, we can kiss our own arse well enough.
//A huge, well carved titanium mirror fully covered the back wall.//
Everyone: TITANIUM!?

Dante: this is getting beyond ridiculous...

Vergil: where the hell are my pills...
//The surface seemed to ripple like water, dark water.//
Sparda: (creepy voice) what lies beneath... that is the question...

Vergil: I thought the question was "to be or not to be".

Dante: I thought it was "what is the Matrix"!
//It seemed to have an evil aura to it.//
Vergil: ...yeah... that happens with most dark water, except the type you have to flush down the toilet...
//One that Christianna couldn't quite put her finger on.//
Dante: she can detect evil?

Sparda: probably not, but changes in the atmosphere often gives people migraines and that's very evil also.
//Underneath the stone, there was a table. It seemed to be made out of Cherry Oak.//
Vergil: oh look, she's trying to impress us with her knowledge on wood. -_-

Dante: it ain't working, honey. -_-
//Gargoyles, dragons, and demons were carved with an expression of pure agony on the legs of the table.//
Sparda: they were frolicking quite happily until Christianna turned up...
//The table was covered in a black satin tablecloth, over fifty candles surrounding the stone in

a pentagram shape.//
Dante: pentagram? Does such a thing exist?

Sparda: it's the proper word for a five-pointed star. My dictionary says it is. *pats dictionary*

Dante: well, I think your dictionary is wrong!

Sparda: *voice of death and doom* YOU DARE INSULT MY DICTIONARY?!

Dante: ahh! No sir! O_O;;
//Dark symbols of the//
Vergil: torture chamber?

Sparda: properly spelt words?

Dante: Matrix?
//underworld were carved INTO the walls,//
Twins: *sarcastically* oh Unholy Mundus, words were carved INTO the walls. However shall we go on living...?
//blood splattered all over them. The tablet seemed to emit a strange, blood red glow.//
Sparda: the poor soul who wrote this committed suicide upon discovering Christianna, and his spirit haunts the place still...
//" ...What's this?" Christianna rushed up to the altar, raising her hand to touch the stone.//
Dante: (as Christianna) ooh! Pretty colours...

Stone: *ZAP!*

Dante: (as Christianna) *fizzle*
//Dante made a mad dash towards the girl and slapped her hand away.//
Sparda: so hard the bone broke, flesh torn and it was just dangling by a skin...
//" Don't touch it! " Dante shouted at her. He knew what curiosity could do in situations such as these, and he wasn't ready to go find some yellow orbs to ressurect this poor beauty.//
Dante: I always keep at least 3 yellow orbs on me.

Vergil: but honestly, why waste them on her? Thanks to inflation they cost a bitch (how else can you explain the rising prices in DMC3?).
//" Lets read it first ."//
Dante: no harm ever came from reading... *nods to The Mummy*
//" I can't make the words out..." Her eyelashes fluttered, as she squinted her eyes at the large, diamond shaped stone.//
Sparda: she's suddenly become long-sighted with the lens focus of a bat.
//" Only I can read it....//
Vergil: because Dante's the only creature in existence who's IQ is measured in negative numbers. *nods to Devils Never Cry, They Merely Sniffle*
//and hear what it says" He replied to her in a tone that meant buisness.//
Sparda: "buisness"? like bruises?

Vergil: go Dante! Beat her into a cube!
//" Well then what does it say?" She asked him, tugging at his cloak's sleeve like an anxious kid.//
Dante: it means get your grubby digits off my Armani cloak or loose it with Rebellion!!

Vergil: ARMANI cloak!? o_O

Dante: .........it was a... gift. From Lucia. Yeah...... *looks around*
//" It says......//
Sparda: "abandon all hope ye who sets sight on Christianna's face".
//When the two legends walk the pathway, the two destined, the stone shall shine. Only their

emotions can be told when the sky is black and evil laughs to the angels.//
Sparda: ... hmmm... this is certainly thought-provoking...

Dante: ...... I'm confused...

Vergil: honestly? I don't give a shit.
//Feathers shall fall to the broken earth,//
Sparda: and there will be a shortage of birds.
//tears of blood will be shed.//
Vergil: yeesh. And an cholera epidemic...
//Only a means of true light may break the curse. Water runs deeply through the course of time, shimmering like diamonds. The diamond stone will be aquired....once the//
Vergil: bitch learns how to spell "acquired".
//waters flow has stopped, and the demons turn their heads.//
Everyone: *turns*
//Two shall become one, the demon and the angel.//
Twins: *snores*

Sparda: *blinks blankly*
//The future will be unlocked and the gate to the Underworld shall be revealed. //
Dante: damn it, man! Can't I just use the blood of Sparda, the priestess, the amulet and all that mumbo-jumbo!?

Sparda: this is DMC1, not DMC3. That would be uncanon.

Dante: uuurrrgghhh!!!
//" What's that supposed to mean? " she asked curiously, holding her head tightly in her hands,//
Dante: it's the miracle we've all been waiting for!! Her head's come off!

Everyone: YAY!!

Vergil: but she isn't dead!! She's still talking!

Everyone: *swords out* BOO!!
//suffering from a migraine.//
Sparda: delicate little thing, isn't she?

Vergil: yeah... Dante, just fucking break her like a twig!!
//" Hmm......" Dante looked around.//
Dante: is that bitch still here?! When the hell is she going to leave me alone...?!
//Each time he took a step closer towards the girl, he felt//
Sparda: an undeniable urge to run away screaming bloody murder.
//something about the stone. That feeling you get when something is about to happen.//
Vergil: Dante! Pick up Christianna and throw her head-first onto the stone! Listen to the voice inside your head!
//* When two legends walk the pathway, the two destined, the stone shall shine *. He thought about this.//
Vergil: (as Dante) *mind blank*

Dante: hey! Stop that!

Vergil: you know what I'm thinking?

Dante: duh, we're twins. *rolls eyes*

Vergil: okay, how about this for thought? *thinks*

Dante: ooh! I'm not getting it all, but it's definitely something to do with silk scarves, handcuffs and candles. Am I right?

Vergil: you'll have to find out tonight...

Sparda: moving swiftly on, let's not get improper in public... -_-
//If they were the two destined, they already walked down the path/hallway to get there.//
Dante: *sarcastically* and they held HANDS! They're like, TOTALLY destined to have babies together!
//Dante inched closer to her.//
Vergil: the man was so brave: the smell of her was enough to send birds dropping dead from the sky. Maybe that has something to do with falling feathers.
//She looked up at him with beautiful shimmering eyes, seeming as if she were about to//
Sparda: learn some new words.
//cry. He lifted her chin up, so her face met his.//
Vergil: (as Dante) unholy Mundus, close-up you're uglier than an Enigma!

Dante: (as Christianna) I'm under-aged and nobody loves me!! *cries uncontrollably*
//Leaning in, he//
Dante: ate her face.

Vergil and Sparda: ?! O_O
//kissed her tenderly on her feathery soft lips.//
Everyone: *hurls*
//A bright red light suddenly shot through the room. Breaking the kiss, Dante//
Dante: said promptly "don't call me, I'll call you" and that was the end of the brief affair.
//looked at the stone. Sure enough, it was shining brightly.//
Dante: *sings* #shining happy diamonds............ shining # *sighs* not the proudest moment in my musical career.
//The engraving was glowing a blood red color, making the words stand out more. Even though it was written in a demon language, he was able to read it.//
Sparda: (as Dante) ...... "this stone will self-destruct in 5 seconds" ... ahh, crap.
//" Great now that I've found that out.....oh no-" he was cut off, by looking at the girl.//
Everyone: perfectly understandable.

Vergil: finally, even the authoress has realised Christianna's hideousness can stop people in their tracks.
//Her eyes seemed to have no shimmer in them, a blank stare. Her body was motionless, still continuing to stand.//
Sparda: she's turned into a vegetable!
//She had gone into a deep trace state.//
Vergil: that too.
//If he didn't solve the puzzle quickly, then he may lose the one he could learn to love forever.//
Dante: not a problem, I don't have any attaching feelings to her right now.

Vergil: besides, you have me. Why do you need that bint when you have ME?

Dante: you're right *huskily* say... what were you thinking about with the silk scarves, handcuffs and candles?

Sparda: hey! Next chapter's up!

Twins: WHAT?! *angrily* Birdie, we'll get you for this!

Birdie: (O.V) oh c'mon, it's very short! I couldn't fit it all on this page, you see. I didn't update last week because of "In The Beginning" --

Sparda: ....................... *sweat-drops*

Birdie: --alas! That was not very popular! Now get on with it! *throws pencil*
Reviews will be answered next chapter. And in case you were wondering, YES, that really was a REAL definition of "brawn".
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Fate and Fear MST