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Turned On	By : blackwaltz0 Category: +M through R > Phantasy Star Views: 2172 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Phantasy Star, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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He didn't really know how, but Chaz pulled himself together again before they had to go. Nobody saw the tears that had been coursing down his cheeks, but everybody had, in some way or another known that something was terribly wrong. Rika saw it most of all and felt that she was the one closest to Chaz, but she still didn�t know what to do. She was a bright girl, a resourceful girl, but she knew that her inexperience with people crippled her most of all. Chaz woke them all up after what seemed like an hour to him and his eyes were red and blurry, sore from too many tears. Rika just wanted to hug him then and there until he was happy again, but by that time Kyra was already stirring beside her and trying to push her away.

Whatever Chaz�s problem was Rika didn�t get a chance to find out about it. He had probably spent the entire hour thinking about Alys and how she was gone, the poor boy. Rune was woken up next and he was roused a lot quicker and easier than the two girls had been, for he had only just been dozing anyway. Wren was nowhere to be found and that was a big worry, until Chaz quietly spoke up and mumbled that the android had gone for a walk, and that he�d be back soon. Rune was bothered by this information and was more than a little pissed off, saying that Wren should have known better than to go wandering off on his own.

Guilt was added to Chaz�s already formidable burden of shame, because he knew that Wren would have never taken that walk if Chaz hadn�t ordered him to do so from behind his veil of fear. He had been afraid, and the only other option for him rather to run away was to make Wren disappear for him. What if he had ordered his friend to walk right into the face of danger? He wouldn�t be able to live with himself if he had, he had already caused enough problems and pain because of his own inadequacy and he didn�t want to add to it anymore. Wren�s life was more important than his own stupid feelings, all his friends were, even Rune. He didn�t want to lose them, he couldn�t bear it if any one of them was lost. Just like Alys had been.

In the end Chaz had to convince himself that he wasn�t trying to run from Wren or Rika, he was only trying to back away from the both of them and detach himself from his emotions, so he could look at his situation without panicking or being manipulated by desire. He couldn�t do that in the Air Castle while all their lives were in danger, he just had to wait until they were all safe. At an inn or something, in town. A place where he wouldn�t have to worry about death as often as he worried about life. Chaz hoped that Wren and Rika could wait until then.

Just as they were beginning to debate whether or not they should go and look for their missing comrade, Wren strolled through the entrance of the symbol room as nonchalantly as if he had come back from a walk along the beach. He seemed confused as to why everybody appeared to be so mad at him, defending his actions by saying that he had returned right on time for them to go. Nevertheless, he apologized for his absence anyway, if only to wipe the perpetual frown off Rune�s face. He didn�t even look at Chaz at all, which made the boy wonder if their relationship had gone back a step, back to silence and the cold shoulder. This should have pleased the youth who was still confused and afraid of his sexuality, but instead all it did was make him feel sadder still.

When Wren passed where Chaz was standing he could tell that the android smelt a little of burnt cannon fire, which probably meant that his so called �walk� had been more of a �take my aggression out on the first foe that I see� sort of thing. He didn�t look hurt so Chaz didn�t ask about it, although he was a little surprised that Wren would do something so petty. Everybody needed an outlet for their emotions, Chaz guessed. He looked over the members of his party. They all appeared to be ready, more prepared than Chaz could ever truly feel himself. Kyra with her slashers, Rune with his stave, Rika with her claws, and Wren with his cannon. Chaz�s grip on the handle of his sword tightened.

"Lets go." He said.

The three creatures lived up to their expectations. Chaz and his party found them holed up in some kind of room built for meditation or worship, but although they were the ones who ambushed them they were still in for a nasty surprise. The creatures were hugely powerful and bore the same magical traits as highly trained espers, working together seamlessly like they shared the same mind and thoughts. Rune held his suspicions that they were the souls of fallen espers brought back by the powers of darkness and warped, turned to the side of evil. It brought great sadness into his heart to consider this but it also made him feel stronger, charged with resolve. He would send these dark spirits back to their places of rest.

Time and time again they were brought to the brink of near defeat, but each time they felt death clasping its cold fingers about their bodies they resisted, relying on each other for their lives. The three creatures would cast a spell in unison and summon a wave of red thunder that would all but incinerate Chaz and his friends, bringing pain unfathomable, unthinkable, a pain unable to even be described. The monsters were winning and they knew it, drawing great pleasure from watching the insignificant worms rise up and retaliate again and again and again.

Chaz was the heart, if not the brain of their party. Sometime during the fight the tactical part of his mind rose up and ordered him to shout; "Beat them one at a time! Go for the left one! Break their concentration!" That was one thing to be said about inspiration, it is an unreliable force that cannot be controlled, but sometimes it has perfect timing. All the weeks and months of fighting as a team bore its fruit. Rune and Wren heard Chaz�s shout and reacted just as the creatures had, finely turned to the same wavelength. There was no time to think and ponder during combat, all one could do was listen, feel, and act.

That being said, it was almost scary how efficiently the two caught onto Chaz�s orders. The girls hadn�t heard him over the roar of the spells and magic but were experienced enough to be alert to the movements of their party. When three of the five members of your group finally focus on a target all you can do is follow suit or risk being outnumbered. Chaz was young, and he had been a little strange for the past week or so, but in the heat of combat he became their leader. A true leader, one Alys could have been proud of. His potential was right there, the creatures were succeeding in drawing it out of him.

The only thing that could touch him was pain, and that was only physical pain, a weak watery comparison to his troubles as of late. The unrequited love of Rika, his disturbing feelings towards Wren. Missing Alys Bragwin�s company, and of course being responsible for the safety of the people of Algo. All of it, it all just melted away within the clashing of his sword. He felt totally empty inside, vacant save for his energy and his fighting skills. It was wonderful, and he was free.

Even with Chaz�s commands the battle was no easier, but it felt like they had a plan now, a purpose. The creatures screamed more from anger than pain and struck Rune down where he stood, but he was immediately replaced by an enormously enraged Kyra. The room was charred and burning from an overzealous use of Wren�s burst rockets, but a wall of fire had sprung up from out of the debris. It cut the targeted left creature off from its brothers while a closer look at the flames would have revealed that the wall of fire was purposefully made, highly flammable trimate spilt in a caging line across the ground.

From across the room Rika screamed as she was struck by a tandle spell, but her life was spared by Kyra nearby, countering with an effective warla skill. With the stealth of a thief Chaz slipped his way through the wall of flames then approached the targeted creature from the side, sheathing his sword. This was not the weapon he needed for now. A great man once said; the right tool for the right occasion. The creature was still preoccupied with the wall of flames right in front of its face, and the arsonist who had created it, Wren, who was being worn down by the creature�s constant spells.

Long ago, when Chaz had been young and without hope, he had done some pretty horrible things. He could not be free of that past and he never would be, but at least he could use some of the skills from back then in order to survive now. Wren didn�t look like he could hold out for much longer anyway. Could he see him behind the curtain of fire? Probably not, but he still had to act. From a hidden compartment in his belt Chaz Ashley drew a hunter�s knife. It was getting difficult to breathe in his corner and the air was growing hot. He had heard somewhere that fire eats oxygen to stay alive. That was all well and good, but he needed it to live, too.

There was no time to suffocate. Chaz moved, then jumped. A distinct feeling of déjà vu caught him and he was almost nine years old and in the streets again, but then one hand closed around a fold of the creature�s robe and his other arm swung forward to hold the knife blade out against the creature�s neck. He wasted half a second to find the correct angle to do it right, then with a chilling calmness Chaz slit the creature�s throat.

If the Hunter�s Guild had seen that action Chaz would have been expelled for life, his license revoked. To kill a monster in that fashion was an extremely dishonorable way. He knew it was true, but he would rather be dishonorable and see his friends live than to see them die. He was good at it anyway and at least it had been a monster this time, not a palman. Despite the intense heat Chaz shivered and felt a little sick. Green blood spewed thickly from the clean wound and the monster tried to howl in pain, a fruitless effort because Chaz had cut its vocal cords as well. What was the point in slitting a throat if they screamed and gave their attacker away? The only noise it made was a feeble gurgle, then it fell away from him and was still.

Immediately the body became engulfed in fire. Chaz shrunk away from it and began to cough on the acrid smoke it produced, lightheadedness taking control of his mind. He hadn�t really thought far beyond that stealthy move and now he found himself taking the place of the creature, backed away in a corner with the flames closing in. His face felt hot and burnt but also pouring with sweat, the salt slightly agitating the burns. He had cut their problems down by a third, the others would notice that. The others would rescue him, right? He didn�t want to take a chance. "Help!" Chaz cried, using up most of his rapidly diminishing oxygen supply. "I�m burning to death!"

The only reply he got was the gruesome crackle of the fire feeding off the body of his slain enemy. Chaz had seen Wren out there earlier, he had started this unnatural fire, surely he had heard Chaz�s cry for help. The flames had grown taller and had become thicker since Chaz had first slipped through, he half suspected that the creature�s spilt blood had stoked it in some way. He was trapped.

Or not. There was a flash of blue light and suddenly the wall of fire became a wall of ice. It was snap frozen in minute perfection, each little licking flame captured perfectly in cold glass. Whoever had done that had one hell of a nawat spell. Rune. He must have heard! And not only Rune either. The ice fire shattered as it was struck hard on the outside and part of Wren appeared, making a moderately sized hole in the wall. Without so much as a word he grabbed Chaz roughly by the arm and hauled him through.

Chaz thought he could have been a lot gentler as the hunter drew blood in several places, being pulled through the jagged hole in the looking glass. He knew there was no time to be gentle in the middle of a battle, but that didn�t stop him from crying out in annoyance as Wren tossed him carelessly to the side like an empty weapon magazine. He jarred his knee badly on a piece of crumbled stone and tears prickled behind his eyes, triggered by both pain and other emotions. No, he could not let other thoughts bleed into his mind! Not now!

"Stay down!" Wren roared as the hunter half rose and rubbed at his knees, trying to pull his sword from its sheath with his other hand. Rune glanced at him with fatigue-laden eyes from Wren�s side and saw what was about to happen. One of the two remaining creatures not currently being ripped to shreds by Kyra and Rika was readying a hewn spell, preparing to throw it at Chaz�s neck. The boy was next in line for a swift decapitation and he didn�t even know it yet.

Frowning, Rune did what needed to be done. Trying to time his spell casting perfectly the esper raised his staff and hit the blond boy hard with a gravity spell, sending Chaz sprawling straight onto the ground again. He made a bit of an �ugh� sound as he hit the floor but his armor must have saved him from most of the hurt. Meanwhile the sharp spinning saw made of compressed air screamed over his body and slammed against one of the purple stone pillars, slitting it in half. The spell was so refined that the pillar didn�t even budge.

Rika leapt onto the creature like a wild animal. It tried to slap her away with its armored skeletal nails but she was way too quick for it, ripping into its front with her claws. Chaz stood for a second and coughed up blood, but now he was aware of his surroundings and threw his right arm out in the direction of his enemy, his fingers spaced to create a technique. There was a clear space for his attack save for Rika gripping onto the creature as she fought. If she had any sense or awareness of her surroundings she would get out of the way in time.

Her escape was way too close for comfort but she made it anyway. She sensed Chaz behind her, about to use his githu ability and kicked off with her legs while balancing on the creature's front, propelling herself away. Rika didn't quite get the clean and easy exit that she had hoped for though, as the creature's claw came across and ripped down along her bodysuit and part of her thigh, drawing her blood. That crime was avenged when Chaz's githu erupted from his fist and punched through the heart of the monster like a laser, searing its flesh within and without.

Wren covered Rune with overhead fire while the esper knelt and used his rever spell to bring Kyra back into consciousness, repaying her for the help she had given him when he had been in the same position. They didn't have protection for long though as a tandle spell struck the android and immediately rendered him inactive, Wren collapsing into a heap like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut. Rune heard a thud to his right and glanced over his shoulder to see the second creature prone on the ground, green blood pooling around a hole in its front. There was only one more to go, but they were not out of trouble just yet.

For one thing they were out of repair kits and had to leave Wren where he was lying, trusting that he would be able to repair himself on his own. Chaz stepped around him and offered Kyra a hand up, pulling her to her feet. Rika appeared by his side. The four of them looked into the slitted eyes of their last enemy, the largest foe of the three. For now, for one brief moment, all the fighting stopped. The blond hunter was the voice of their team. Standing in front of Rune made him appear short, but his words were strong. "Where is the eclipse torch?" He demanded. "Tell us now, or die."

By this time the creature knew that it had underestimated them. There was no other way to go but forward into death, to join its brothers, or to face the wrath of its master. The correct choice was self evident. It raised its longer-than-normal arms high into the air, screaming a curse as a response. It was going to hit them with the strongest spell that it could muster on its own. Chaz was not going to let that happen. From the corner of his mouth he whispered to his esper friend; "Efess." Rune nodded grimly, understanding. There was no discussion, no argument at all.

Chaz broke from his cover and ran forward, raising his sword up high. He was running straight into the arms of the enemy, and as he did so he noticed just barely that his sword in hand was beginning to glow a very pale blue. That was reassuring. From behind him Rune held his staff way up right, summoning the highest power that he possible could. It strained him horribly, induced a terrible migraine, but he was lending all of his power to Chaz. The shorty had better use it well.

He had done this a thousand times before, in training and in combat. The crosscut skill was his special attack, something as unique to Chaz as his personal signature. This time however, thanks to Rune, it felt like his sword and body were possessed by blue light, his sword arm held and cradled by the hand of a giant, maybe even a god. His first slash came horizontally, cutting a beam of turquoise across the belly of the beast, then without a break in his strike his arm angled up smoothly and slashed downwards, bisecting his first swing in half. It looked like a cross, wreathed in near-holy light. Grand cross. Chaz pulled away.

The attack burst into a shining radiance that covered the final creature, each of the four prongs of the cross thickening and touching one another, transforming into a circle. It devoured the evil monster in its brilliance and its screams of horror and agony could not be drowned out by the light, it seemed to amplify them like a loudspeaker system. The hunter closed his eyes to keep his retinas from burning, but knew that he could not be physically harmed by the cross - only truly evil souls would feel the pain. All Chaz felt was a very gentle, almost pleasant warmness about his body.

He only dared to open his eyes again once both the screaming and the warmth had died down. He stumbled away from the creature until his foot hit a rock and he nearly fell over again, but a pair of arms caught him and he knew he was safe. Chaz looked up into Rika's kind blue eyes and suddenly felt ten times better. He hugged her briefly before his shyness caught up with him again and he retreated, moving over to Rune. The esper was lying on the ground near Wren, his usually fine complexion waxy and sheened with sweat. It looked like somebody had sucked the life right out of him, and of course, somebody had. Chaz had. "You alright, Rune?" He asked lamely.

"Gee, what do you think, you damned vampire?" Rune griped sourly from his place on the floor, sarcastically but mostly in jest. He would be alright. He sat up and glanced at the pile of ashes scattered upon the floor in the shape of the deceased monster. Even if it had taken a great deal of his energy to do it, their enemies were dead. Chaz winced at being called a vampire and looked hurt. Rune sighed and took it back. "You're not a vampire. Quit that sulking face, I gave that energy to you of my own free will. I'll tell you what, you owe me a drink back at Ryuon, got it?"

Chaz brightened at that. "Yeah," he chimed, "drinks for everybody."

He kept his word. They had made a fair amount of progress in the Air Castle but they were now all tired and hurt. That hurt could be cured quite easily by the magical symbol at the heart of the building, but after a fight just like that one they all needed a break. Rika in particular wanted to check on Raja to see how he was holding up with his illness. Kyra also wished to see her esper friends in Meese again. Chaz and his company had a quick conference while they healed one another and decided to head back to Dezoris, spend the night in Ryuon, and then head on over to Meese the next day. After that they would come back to the castle and deal with Lassic personally.

Rune cast his hinas spell and magically relocated his party back to the Landale, sitting there silently and calmly like a steel behemoth. It had not been tampered with in any way and the ride back to the planet of ice was smooth and uneventful. Wren piloted while the others played cards. They had used to let him play with them back when he was only a new addition to their group, but they swiftly found out that he made the game far too difficult. Rune liked to be the top dog, he�d rather win all the time instead. The four hours of their trip were mostly filled in with silence and games. Halfway in Chaz retired to his cabin, sick of Rune�s winning streak. Even Rika was beating him.

It was night by the time that they got down to Dezoris and took the ice digger through the storm to the small town of Ryuon. Tyler was much closer to the spaceport and was also a palman settlement, which would have made most of their party feel more at home, but nothing beat the drinks and company that could be found at Gyuna�s little bar. That�s where Chaz, Rune, Rika, Kyra and Wren found themselves at when all was said and done. The bar was emptier than usual because of the constant storm raging on outside, but there were a good number of green-skinned dezorians at the tables and even a few palmans dotted here and there, mixing with the sparse crowd.

Chaz had only been to a few bars in his life due to his age, so he couldn�t help but be reminded of the Aiedo Pao-Pao in the Hunter�s Guild, except that this bar was much smaller and there was far less female entertainment to be had. In fact, it seemed like Rika and Kyra were the only girls in the establishment at the moment, although he couldn�t quite be sure about a few of the dezorians around him. The closest thing they would get to entertainment would be if Gyuna himself jumped up on the bar and did a dance for them all. Chaz snorted at the silly thought, then got a bad picture in his mind and regretted it immediately.

He shouted them all drinks so as to keep his word. Chaz was not a poor man due to the constant demand for his work at the guild, so he could easily afford it. His party sat at the bar rather than picking out a table for themselves, leaving them close to the bartender. He and Rune ordered something largely alcoholic that neither could pronounce in the dezorian tongue, but it didn�t taste too bad for something that felt like a punch in the face. Kyra hesitated, looking at Chaz in a disapprovingly sisterly way, then ordered something a little weaker that seemed to have milk in it. Wren insisted that the only thing he could safely drink was pure water, so he had a glass of that, and Rika settled for sweet non-alcoholic fruit juice. It had been an amazingly stressful day for all of them, and just like the good little adventurers that they were, it ended at the bottom of a glass.

Talk quickly ended up sailing over Chaz�s head. He thought for a bit over the money he had lost to Rika and Rune during the card games, but mostly his mind kept on backtracking to the moment that he slit that creature�s throat. It had been so easy then, one quick motion and then it was all over with. It had felt so familiar too, so natural. Poor Alys had spent seven years trying to train that kind of lifestyle out of his system, but after only one complicated battle it had all come rushing back to him, like a tide. Chaz felt sickened, ashamed, and subconsciously tied it to another aspect of his life in which his morals were slipping.

He looked at Wren, who was acting strangely outgoing to a middle-aged dezorian a seat away from him. They seemed to be talking about the unusual weather as of late. Chaz took another sip of his drink and looked into its strange, purplish depths morosely. Maybe now that Alys was gone he was slowly beginning to revert back to the criminal he had once been. Somebody who could slit a throat without a second thought, and could kiss and desire another man even when that person wasn�t really another man at all. He was an android, an object, like a sword or a computer terminal. Chaz felt cold all over, then forced himself to look again. He almost hated Wren for starting all of this and then neglecting to finish it, leaving Chaz in limbo, and now he could discuss the weather with some stranger while Chaz suffered? Bastard.

"You shouldn�t drink that stuff if you can�t handle it." Rune scolded the young hunter softly, mistaking Chaz�s sour look as something else. The boy turned a pained expression towards the esper and Rune seemed to understand his hurt, at least upon the surface. He could see that Chaz was drinking like somebody who wanted to forget, and damned if Rune didn�t understand that feeling himself. Since Alys had died Rune had slowly gravitated towards being Chaz�s guardian, so he was not entirely free of responsibility towards him. Rune smirked in a knowing, borderline drunk way. "Oh, I can guess what it is. You�re thinking about those battles today, aren�t you?"

"Rune, do you think I�ve changed?" Chaz asked him carefully, staring down at the bar. Beneath the constant rumble of many people talking at once, the clink of glasses being rattled, emptied and refilled, somebody was playing music. It sounded like a native folk tune, played on guitar, some kind of brass flute and a drum. The air was thick and heavy with tobacco smoke. This was a place to listen, ponder and regret. Chaz seemed to be doing the latter two, for once not acting like a whiny child. He closed his eyes, sighing. "Do you still think I�m me, or did I lose myself somewhere down the line?"

He paused, thinking, then laughed a little into his drink. The fact that Chaz would say something like that at all proved that he hadn�t changed much. Rune had known him a couple of months and was convinced that Chaz wasn�t just an ordinary brat, he was a brat with definite potential. Chaz was growing. Maybe that made him nervous. "We�re always us," he reassured the young hunter, "that�s one thing that never changes. But regardless of that we change anyway and that�s life. We gotta keep up with it, even if we don�t like it." Rune finished his glass all at once and coughed a little as the bite hit him. "You have changed, but think of it as a good thing."

Chaz found that kind of funny. Rune didn�t understand him and never would, yet it was satisfying to know something that the esper didn�t know. He wondered what he would think if he knew that Chaz was seriously considering dual relationships with both Rika and Wren. He tried to imagine the expression on Rune's face if he voiced his mind, that he wanted to get his android friend good and alone in some isolated place and then kiss him until he ran out of breath. Chaz smiled. "Yeah, alright. Whatever. So what if I hate this �changed� me? What if I want to go back to the way I was? I�m tired of being so confused over everything."

"Well, you can�t do that. Them�s the breaks." Rune replied casually, not knowing how severely his words would affect Chaz. He wasn�t used to thinking so deeply while he was supposed to be relaxing. He reserved that for when he was sober. It had been an hour and three drinks since he left that frame of mind. In essence, talking to Rune was pointless at the moment. Minutes passed between the both of them in silence, then unexpectedly the esper�s head jerked up as he recognized a tune that the musicians were playing. "Hey, that�s �Auntie�s Wooden Leg�! I know that one!" He began to add in the lyrics to the tune, breaking out into a grin.

He had a pretty horrible singing voice, and he didn�t notice it when Chaz folded his arms on the table, rested his head against them and started to cry silently. Anybody who passed by just assumed that he was trying to fall asleep within his circle of friends. But he was sitting between Rune and Rika and the numan girl noticed the way that his shoulders were shaking at irregular intervals. She didn�t know why he was crying, but she guessed it had something to do with the difficult fight earlier. Maybe he was slipping into post-traumatic shock. Chaz was such a dear, gentle soul. No matter what life had attempted to mould him into it would not be able to change that.

She put an arm around him and began to rub his back, knowing that something like this would help him to ease his crying. It was much easier to do so considering that Chaz wasn't wearing his armor at the moment, he had left it at the inn, so that gave Rika unlimited access to his back, neck and shoulders. A weak, stunted snuffling sound was drawn from Chaz's throat as the only indication that he noticed what Rika was doing to him. It felt good, but it also felt like he didn't deserve it. "Chaz?" Rika said quietly, speaking only to him. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, rocking it against his arms, then sat up straight and met Rika's gaze. His cheeks were flushed mostly from drink but his eyes were watery and wet, so he rubbed at them with a sleeve of his red bodysuit. Chaz smiled sadly, like a child who had done something unforgivably wrong. He looked so vulnerable to Rika, and that of course endeared him dramatically to her. "It's nothing. It just feels like I've been trapped in some sort of snare and everybody will hate me if I do what I really want to do. I'm so pathetic, aren't I?" He mused.

Where had all of Chaz's self confidence gone? The stuff that she had seen so often in battle? It was true that most of Chaz's experience in combat and dangerous situations had been made when he was only a subordinate, a trainee to Alys Bragwin, but he really had been shaping up into an excellent leader. One only had to look at their last battle to see that. Rika cared for Chaz very deeply, because he had been the one to help bring her out into the world. "Do you want to run away from our mission? Is that what you're saying?" She ventured, trying to guess his worries. He had been there at the very start and therefore carried the greatest burden. It would not be pathetic at all if he felt overwhelmed.

Chaz blinked several times at Rika's tentative accusation. Running away from the battle was the last thing that he would ever do. He owed his very existence to Algo and had pledged his life to protect it. That wasn't the problem at all. Rika was missing the point entirely, but that was okay. He hadn't even noticed yet that he was speaking so casually to a girl he would have gotten unbearably tongue-tied over scarcely a week ago. "No, no, don't be ridiculous." Chaz argued. "It's not like that at all. Just� well, what would you think of me if I found myself attracted to somebody who isn't a palman? Like a motavian, or a dezorian or something like that. Would you think I was weird? Would you think poorly of me for that?"

Rika knew that she wasn't a palman either. She blushed a little, wondering what Chaz was trying to talk to her about. Genetically that sort of attraction was useless in a biological sense, because it would not result in continuation of his species. Psychologically, however, anything went. In Rika's personal opinion she found that what Chaz was talking about would be a little weird, but she would never think any less of him for it. She loved Chaz too much to get caught up in silly stuff like that. Rika shook her head resolutely. "What I would think shouldn't matter to you, because as long as you can find happiness somewhere that should be the only thing that counts."

Every time Chaz wanted to hear a particular answer he always got the opposite of what he wanted. He didn't want to be told that everything was alright or that whatever he wanted to do would be accepted. He wanted his bad feelings to be justified, to be told that they were truly wrong and that he should accept it. But whenever he attempted to reach out to people they tried to warp the way that he felt into something that sounded like a damn self-help booklet. He was truly sick of it. So instead of looking as relieved as Rika thought he would be, Chaz stood up from his bar stool and thumped a handful of meseta down on the bench. Rika glanced at him, her query unspoken. "I'm going to bed now." Chaz muttered lowly. "See you tomorrow."

He stumbled away before she could reply. There was a bit of a sway to his step, he hadn't slurred at all in his speech but he was definitely drunk. Not as bad as Rune, who was now hanging out with Kyra and bedazzling her with an imitation of Gyuna's accent, but drunk enough to get swallowed up in his own depression and loneliness. Rika sighed deeply, aware that she hadn't helped things much. She had probably said exactly what Chaz didn't want to hear. Still, now she knew a little more about what Chaz's problem might be. He was afraid he might be attracted to somebody who wasn't a palman.

Who could that be? Kyra was an esper, a different branch of the palman species. Could it be her? Maybe. Who else? Certainly not Demi, although the little service android was quite cute in her own sprightly way. Rika herself? Impossible. She was only a science experiment, barely one year old. Somebody as interesting and special as Chaz would not want her.

Rika turned back to the bar mutely and stared at her fruit juice, wishing that she had asked for something with alcohol in it earlier. Who was she kidding, anyway? Whoever it was that Chaz looked for, it would not be her.
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