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What He Means to Me	By : Cave Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3006 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
She was once the saddest girl in the world.

But when I was finally able to meet her, she smiled to me and I even felt honored to allow her this opportunity. After all, it was I who had given her birth, the right to existence. I was indebted to give her most what she needed. Her heart. The very essence of her soul that otherwise was nothing.

I was sure Sora had felt similarly, but had guessed wrong. At this time, he seemed confused about his Nobody and hated him for this confusion. I'm sure he'll eventually be able to see Roxas as an important piece of his life. We change throughout our lives constantly; our bodies, meeting new people, breaking bonds we once held. Sora had forgotten how to deal with these trials. He'll be all right.

But I had felt the need to talk to Namine about it. Even as I felt like I was watching everything happening from the sidelines; with defeating Xehanort's heartless and Sora's journey through worlds, I felt like I understood more than maybe Sora himself. It wasn't just because he's not as smart academic-wise as the other students, and that sometimes he does miss the obvious. It might have been because he was just so enthralled with saving the world, he had no time to focus on himself. While he does have a very strong heart, one of the most beautiful in the world, he lost too much concentration in his own emotional self-studies. Its important to know who we are, but we have to be careful not to get too lost in it.

Namine seemed to think similarly, but I don't think even she quite understood it either.

"I think Sora knows what he has to do. For us nobodies, what I find to be most important is that we're able to communicate with and understand our somebodies."

There was something missing, though. I don't know if I'll ever be able to understand it fully. Maybe its the destiny we humans have to face. Can we ever know all the answers? Or more importantly, do we even want to know them?

I felt rather discourage then as I entered my house and sat at the desk in my room. It was suddenly feeling... very lonely. The room was empty, but it was more than that. I felt an odd distance between Sora and I after the events in Biology class earlier today that I had never felt before with him. We were very close friends after all. Maybe at one point, it had felt even more than that to me. An immature girly crush. But I knew he was destined for someone else no matter how important we were to each other. Even with this knowledge; I was never upset about it. Nothing could stay the same forever.

He seemed so distant... I took out my pen and started writing.

Thinking of You, Wherever You are

My thoughts are with you, Sora. Even, though, physically I know approximately where you are, emotionally and mentally... I'm just so worried about you.

We pray for our sorrows to end

Even though the downs in life are just as important as the ups, we want our most hurtful sorrows to just end. We pray for this, but maybe it isn't enough. We have to remember to work for it also. Being stuck in a rut is not the end; looking forward to a brighter tomorrow is essential.

And hope that our hearts will blend

As humans, and even as Nobodies, we need - absolutely and without a doubt - companions, friends, family, another. We need another to live, thrive, and survive. To this end, we will hope that we will meet someone we need and that we can be together. Our hearts will blend.

Now I will step forward to realize this wish.

Sora, Namine, anyone... I'll help you all.

And who knows:
starting a new journey may not be so hard
or maybe it has already begun.

As the cliche goes, life is a journey. These anothers that we meet in life make this possible. We'll get through the rough times and be able to learn. Then we'll eventually die, but whatever awaits will surely be beautiful. If we keep moving forward, will we be able to meet again?

I have no doubt in my mind, that we will if we try hard enough. Forever is a long time, and it is way too long to never see someone again.

There are many worlds,
but they share the same sky'
one sky,
one destiny

Even if physically, we are apart, you just have to remember that clear, blue sky above. Somewhere, we're all looking at this same sky. We share it and it is absolutely, stunningly beautiful. Your eyes, Sora, remind me of it. There's no reason to hate anyone.

It was a short, simple poem, but it held so much knowledge, truth, and emotion that anyone would understand it. It was odd since I actually thought it to be more than what I'm usually able to write, in Literature class for example. Maybe those writings didn't feel like this because they were assignments; they weren't personal. Yes, it was always important to do something for yourself every now and again and not get too caught up in the things you have to do (moreso when you have to do them for other people).

I closed that small book and pulled out a different one to start on my homework for that night.

The next morning, I packed my things as usual, but also threw in the book with the poem written from the night before. It would probably be good to show Namine the poem and see what she thought about it. Heh. For some reason, my thoughts always went to Namine when I wanted to share something with someone.

When I arrived at the school, however, I actually bumped into Roxas first. He looked like his usual self, generally unemotional and not-caring which given the circumstances made sense.

"Roxas," I called to him. He looked up with eyes widening a bit. I guess it was a bit strange since we never usually talked with each other. He did talk and hang with Namine sometimes, though.

I reached through my handbag and pulled out the book. Flipping through it, I tore out the page with the poem and held it out to him. It wasn't written for Roxas, nor Namine, but Sora. "Please read this to Sora. It'll help him."

He made a sound of acknowledgment and took the paper from my hand slowly. As he read the contents, it seemed as if his eyes lit up but not quite to the extent of fully comprehending the words.

I turned and walked away, satisfied in knowing that it'd all work out.

Something still bothered me though as I walked to the end of the hall where my locker was. As I stood up after getting my books, I took a quick glance outside to see Namine sitting on the grass. She was drawing in her sketchbook as she did so often. There was still plenty of time before the bell would ring, so I went outside and sat next to her. She was so involved in her drawing that the only sign that she saw me was a quick nod of her head.

She drew the sky a lot. It must have been decided by some being that the sky would bring much inspiration and interpretation to everyone. It was a beautiful color; one that was hard to imitate in any other form (save for Sora's and Roxas' eyes). Somehow, the way she capture it reminded me of the those two, even though truthfully her skill level wasn't very high.

I didn't need to ask her; I knew why she drew so much. Not many people talked to her and through her drawings they could catch a glimpse of her inner self. When she had trouble describing something, she was always able to draw it clearly and was easy to understand. It did bother me that no one paid her much attention, but at the same time I kind of understood that she liked it that way.

At one point, she had always looked so sad, but since we were able to find each other, everything changed for the both of us. We were both able to regain something we had lost. I didn't even know at first that I had lost it, but she was able to help me learn and discover more about myself than I had ever expected to know.

For Sora and I, our Nobodies are like our lifelines. Not a shadow of us, but a part of us and at the same time, separate from us. What is essential is finding out this connection between how they are a part and are separate from us. They want to continue with their own lives, though in this pathetic world there isn't much for them.

Namine didn't mind though. She seemed perfectly content with me sitting next to her. Words were completely useless to us. We already knew each other so well.

I gently leaned my head down to nuzzle against her neck, the strands of her milky blonde hair sticking to my cheek. She gave a small smile as she closed her sketchbook and ran a hand lazily through my own hair.

"Thanks, Kairi," was all she said as she stood up. I followed and together we headed to class, our futures uncertain but the fact that we would never leave each other prominent in each of our minds.

Notes: Ah, the end. Finally. Sorry this took so long to get up. I was busy with classes and today had a crappy day so I decided to take some time off and finally write this. Ack, first person... hope it worked okay. Uhm, that's it. I have another fanfic in my head. We'll see when that gets done!
- 5
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What He Means to Me