Moments in the Sun | By : Shebagirly Category: +M through R > Neverwinter Nights Views: 2345 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Neverwinter Nights or any of its characters. I make no money off of this story. This is my first adult fic so I welcome all reviews! |
Casavir headed for the Temple of Tyr at a near run. He'd had about all he could take tonight, with watching Leona get insulted by that...that...he still couldn't think of a word to call Bishop. He kept imagining her with him, and it made him sick to think of it. How could she want him? How could she let someone like that touch her? He had to get to the only place he felt safe.
The temple was at the West End of the Keep. Leona had chosen to build it from among a few choices, and made it subtly clear that she'd done it for him. It was a great gift to have a temple so close after so many months away, fighting orcs in the mountains. It had been a symbol of her love, and now...nothing seemed to make sense.
Casavir nodded to Ivarr, who could tell from his usually unreadable face that he wasn't in the mood for pleasantries. Since the temple had opened, Casavir was its most frequent visitor, also giving much of his earned gold to its maintenance. Ivarr had set aside a special room for Casavir to pray in, alone. Tyr was not a distant God, and was known to speak to his loyal followers when they needed temperance in their lifepaths. Casavir hoped he would get some guidance tonight.
He locked his room and knelt before the altar, trying to clear his mind. It was nearly impossible to meditate when visions of Leona with Bishop were flying around his head, but Casavir was nothing if not self-disciplined, and after some time he managed to empty his thoughts and connect to the empty space where he could converse with his God.
"Oh Tyr the Even-Handed, I beg of you. Help me through this chaotic sadness." Casavir knew his problem wasn't just jealousy. Everyone feels that at one time or another, and he was no stranger to that, either. What ate at him was the surety that he would love Leona no matter what. He knew she didn't mean to hurt him now, but all the same he couldn't turn off his feelings for her. Even if she had meant to hurt him, or if in the future she ever did, his emotions wouldn't stray. He was hers, and he hated and pitied himself for his lack of resolve.
Are you that unsure of what you offer, Katalmach?
"She could have chosen me, and she did not. She could have..." Casavir's usually thick walls were eroding, and he curled up his body and started to cry. Not sobs or simple tears, but body-shaking gulps of air as if he'd lost his will to live. He would never, ever be able to erase what Bishop had done. He would never be able to touch Leona knowing that Bishop's hands had been all over her. Aye, he already had trouble just looking at her. How could one hold out hope for such love when he could never erase what she'd done? What she'd chosen to do, on her one free day. The sobs kept coming, repeating a cycle where he hated himself more for it, and cried, and hated, and cried. He cried until his lungs ached, and only then did he hear Tyr again in his ears.
What do you seek of me, my wayward Child? Tyr was the fairest of dieties, granting resolve to those who asked. Casavir felt a rush of self-loathing as he doubted even Tyr could guide him, now.
"How can she be the woman I loved? How can someoneI love care for someone so foul?"
Again I ask you, Katalmach. Do you not see what you can offer her? Do you not see your own worth?
"And what can she offer me now that I know what she craves? What part of her needs a man like that? How could I ever please her, be all that she needs?"
Moments passed in silence, as Tyr left Casavir to ponder his own question. He kept coming up empty, but his sobs slowed, and he aimed for control of his emotions.
Your vulnerability is a great gift. You might share that with her. If she loves you truly she will welcome it.
It had never occurred to Casavir to be anything other than her protector. He'd admitted to her that in battles he was becoming more focused on her safety than the mission. He was endangering himself, and now Tyr was suggesting he tolerate, nay, encourage, this weakness?
Your vulnerability is a great gift. The message was clear. Casavir couldn't yet see his way to the meaning of it, and his mind wandered back to decoding Leona's choice today. Why him, why today?
He is a ranger, as is she. He is a harbourman, as is she. Would you deny her the chance to ground herself in tastes of home?
"Tastes of home? She TASTED him?" Casavir's roar echoed through the tiny room, ringing in his own ears. His tears were done, and his anger was all that was left.
"I have to let her go. I concede and Bishop wins. I can't be with her after she's shared all this with him. Him, an assasin and betrayer. There is no other way."
Tyr spoke once more before disappearing for the night. Those of pure heart who repeat the sins of evil find Heaven on the other side of darkness.
Casavir scrambled to decode the words, to find hope amisdt the cryptic. If I were Bishop, he thought, I'd say thanks for nothing. Tyr had always come through for him. Dare he trust there would be Heaven on the other side of this darkness? He couldn't bear to hope, and was too tired to find it tonight. He dried his eyes, curled up under the altar, and fell asleep for the night, in the only place he felt safe to dream.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo