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Beyond the Circle	By : Arkristic Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 2907 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age:Origins nor do I own any characters, save for my particular version of the warden and any OCs I create. However, the Warden is owned by Bioware and I cannot lay claim to its title.I don't make any money from writing this

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Chapter Six: Gossip

Jowan was leading her towards the Chantry. He had explained that he did not feel safe talking about his problem out in the open, but convinced her that she needed to hear what was happening. He assumed the place where people went to pray to the Maker would be the safest place to speak without anyone hearing. The way he was acting was certainly raising suspicion enough. Mages gaped as he led her down the hall, gripping her hand so hard it was starting to feel numb. A few of the younger ladies began to snicker and make kissing noises. Lita tried her best to ignore them, but she knew what it had always looked like to them. Jowan and Lita were always off by themselves, alone, practicing spells and reading books in the library. It seemed he was always leading her somewhere to show her something, whether it be his new spell, the cracks in the walls, the secret place to watch the sunrise, or trying to see the templar quarters. She had to admit that a day with Jowan was never boring; he had a knack for clumsiness, which lead to interesting situations.
Once, he had knocked over a series of potions in a fit of nervousness during a training session. Lita had inhaled the noxious fumes that it caused. It not only knocked her unconscious, but it turned her hair a vibrant purple for a week. Her hair was never quite the same after that. It was still long and full of volume and it curled largely on both sides of her face, spreading downwards, intruding upon her breasts and hiding them, but it was once a beautiful auburn color. Ever since the incident, it looked a deeper red, darker and cherry blackened. She had learned to like the color, but it was hardly by choice; there was no way to reverse what had been done or she would have tried long ago. It was best not to mess things up further before she lost her hair entirely. Jowan had offered to try to fix it. He insisted, actually.
She told him not to worry in the end, convincing him the color had grown on her. It contrasted her bright eyes nicely. She had two different colored eyes, though no one seemed to notice since the amount of green only differed slightly in her right eye and held a slight blueish glow. People only began to notice if they stared for too long. She let her long bangs swoop to the right for that reason, creating a partial cover over it. She did not know why she had been born with such an anomaly, but it made her feel unique, special, more so than having the gift of magic. Jowan told her it gave her character. He could be sweet, but they had never done anything like the rumors circulating the tower suggested. Mages certainly had vivid imaginations to say the least. She was fairly certain Jowan did not see her in a romantic way, nor did she think of him so. He was just Jowan.
The rumor was that they were an item. There was a time long ago when Lita thought maybe he was going to ask her to be with him in that sense, but it was fleeting and years in the past. She simply laughed at the thought now. There were rumors everywhere about Lita, it seemed. Supposedly she received special treatment by the senior enchanters, had an ongoing fling with Jowan, was loved by a templar, was a bastard child of blood mages, and other outlandish things she did not care to remember. She had overheard all of these things, knowing there was at least some truth buried within a few. The templars had investigated a few times for numerous claims, never coming up with hard evidence of any sort, although Lita had been imprisoned in the lower confines of the tower a few times. She tried not to think of those days though the memories began to play in her mind.
Jowan tugged at her hand, pulling her from the thoughts.
"Are you in there?" he asked, releasing her hand.
Lita was grateful for the distraction. However, she gripped her staff and robes tightly to her chest as she realized they were not alone. They had reached the chantry and were in a fairly secluded section of the worship area, but Jowan had brought her straight to a sister. She wore familiar maroon, pink and golden chantry robes and had cute auburn hair, similar to Lita's color before the accident; it was styled half up-half down with short straight bangs and whose length even reach her shoulders. Her face was flawless and her cheekbones were strong and lovely on her skinny framed face. Her hazel eyes were waiting expectantly for Lita to speak.
"Jowan... what's going on?" Even she found a distaste for her own voice in that question; it was whiny. She then lowered her voice to whisper to him as privately as she could. "I mean, you realize there's a priest standing right here, don't you? I thought you wanted to talk where no one would hear."
"I am merely an initiate," the sister said softly. Her voice was beautiful. Lita crossed her arms and waited for Jowan to say something to make this all right.
"A few months ago, I told you I... met a girl. This is Lily," he said pridefully.
Lita raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. Had he told her that, really? Perhaps she had been too preoccupied to listen properly. She recalled him mentioning girls from time to time, but never a chantry sister. She would have remembered something so secret and scandalous.
"This is... forbidden by the Circle," Lita stated plainly. She only thought about what she had said after it had already escaped her lips.
Jowan's brow furrowed with frustration and anger, his mouth a frown. "Look who's talking, hypocrite."
Lita stared at him, mouth opening and hanging stupidly agape. For once, words failed her with Jowan. She could not make up a convincing story to explain it, not if he was so confident. He knew without a doubt. Her mind was spinning as she tried to think of a lie.
"That's right. I know all about your little templar tryst. I've known for a long time," he said. He sounded spiteful, almost hurt. "Did you think you could hide it? Everyone at the tower suspects something's going on and I've seen it myself."
She closed her mouth and felt heat rise to her cheeks. "When did you...?"
"Does it matter? It's not like you just happened to fall onto his lips, Lita," he said hotly. "At first it made me sick. I mean, a templar? How could you even think...?" He shook his head, the animosity dissipating. "I was angry for a while, even more so that you didn't tell me. But... that's when I met Lily and... and then I couldn't be cross with you anymore. I fell in love with her and nothing else mattered: magic, the Chantry, templars..."
Lily and Jowan shared an intimate look, probably remembering the scenario. Lita coughed uncomfortably, a rosy tint still staining her features.
"I... don't know what to say," she managed, dumbfounded. "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I denied everything then..."
"At least you can see why we wish to keep this a secret," Lily said sweetly, understanding Lita's desire to deny the accusation. "Your situation with the templar is similar."
Lita swallowed a hard breath. "I... He's not... I mean we haven't... It's not the same."
Jowan glared at her, clearly hoping for more compassion. "Not exactly, no, but it's similar enough. Lily's been given to the Chantry. She is not allowed to have... relations with men. If anyone finds out... we'll both be in trouble."
Lita knew that scenario all too well. There was no point in denying it now. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret. That is, assuming you'll keep mine. I had no idea you knew, Jowan. I didn't want you mixed up in my... very complicated situation with him."
Jowan nodded, though he did not seem pleased. "Well, anyway... I knew you'd stand by me. And don't worry, we'll keep your dirty secret. Lily and I won't tell anyone about you and... uh, whatshisname. Some templars came asking if the rumors were true, but I played dumb for you."
"You're a good friend, Jowan," Lita said with a smile. She knew there was a reason she liked him beyond his klutziness. She indicated the items in her hand and arm. "And I'd like to get to put these on and go see... whatshisname before he is called back to his quarters. Can I go?"
"Well, there is something else... Remember this morning, when I said that I thought they didn't want to test me? I know why. They're... going to make me Tranquil!" Jowan blurted.
'What?' she did a double take, as if he was going to repeat himself and the statement would change.
Lita could not believe her ears. Jowan was hardly a threat to a fly unless he accidentally sat on it. His spells were mild to say the least. The thought of Jowan being Tranquil saddened and infuriated her.
"They'll take everything I am from me –my dreams, hopes, fears... my love for Lily, all gone... They're going to extinguish my humanity. I'll just be a husk, breathing and existing, but not truly living," he continued dramatically. He certainly had a mastery of words.
"Why would they do that to you? Jowan, they can't," Lita tried to reason in order to ease both his mind and her own. She could not believe they could do this to him.
Jowan shook his head. "Lily saw the papers on the Greagoir's desk. The First Enchanter signed off on it. There are... rumors going on about me. They think I'm a blood mage. They think making me a Circle mage will endanger everyone."
"What? That's insane! You're not a blood mage! Those rumors can't be true... I mean... Can they...? No... They can't be," Lita said defiantly, trying to convince herself.
"Shh! Keep your voice down! Do you want them to come storming in? And of course I'm not a blood mage! Do you think I'm that stupid? I've been sneaking off to meet with Lily and they think I'm practicing blood magic. It's not safe here anymore. I need to escape! I need to destroy my phylactery so we can't be tracked!" Jowan was nearly hysterical, though his voice was hushed. She supposed she would be going just as crazy if she was accused of such things.
"Please, give us your word that you will help and we will tell you what we intend," Lily whispered quietly.
"Can't you talk to Irving?" Lita asked in desperation. She had just become a Circle mage and was now considering risking everything for Jowan. This was getting crazy.
"He can't help us. He's already given the templars the go-ahead. It's only a matter of time, Lita. Please!" Jowan pleaded as he sadly stared into her eyes. "What if you were in my place? Wouldn't you do anything you could for... him? Wouldn't you want to get away and be happy with him?"
Lita considered that. She doubted Cullen would run away with her and be as supportive as Lily. Then she thought of Cullen, looking at her every day with longing if she were made Tranquil. He would love her, but her own feelings would be long gone. She would never touch him again if that were the case. She would never again feel his addictive soft lips and scratchy stubble that surrounded them. She wondered often of lovemaking and knew that Tranquility would ensure she would never feel its pleasures. Of course, Tranquility would never happen to her now that she had gone through her Harrowing, but it was something to think about. What if she was in Jowan's shoes?
She shook her head. "All right. You have my word. I will help you," she said reluctantly. Jowan saw the wavering resolve in her face and smiled weakly.
"Thank you. We will never forget this," Lily whispered excited. "I can get us into the repository but there is a problem. There are two locks on the phylactery chamber door. The First Enchanter and Knight Commander each hold one key. But it is just a door. What is a door to mages?"
"We can't possibly get the keys." Lita shook her head in disapproval.
"We have no choice," Jowan pleaded for her to hear them out. "We cannot get the keys, but I once saw a rod of fire melt through a lock. You can get one from the stockroom. But... Owain doesn't release such things to apprentices."
"So... you need me to get you one," Lita understood. "That's all?"
"We need you to help with a bit more than that, but we can discuss it more when you have the rod," Lily explained cryptically. "We'll stay here to avert suspicion."
"Yes, I imagine it would be rather strange to see a Circle mage, an initiate and an apprentice walking towards the stock room, demanding a rod of fire." Lita sighed. "I shall return."
'Of course. I can't just dirty my hands a little. I have to muddy things up and bathe in it,' she thought dismally. 'Maker, what a headache...'
She walked away from the couple past all the pews and out the Chantry door, her head swimming. The pit in her stomach told her she should tell someone of authority, but it also screamed that Jowan was the only friend she had besides Cullen. He was loyal to her and she should be just as loyal in return. She wanted to see Cullen, but was afraid she would say something about the things she had learned. Her body ached for his touch. She decided she would at least talk with him about her Harrowing. That would distract her for a bit. She passed by the stockroom, glancing at Owain and seeing nothing inside of his soul. It was true; he was dead inside, truly. She looked away as his creepy gaze turned on her. Inside the main stockroom, she could hear two young male mages conversing.
"Hey did you hear?"
"Hear what?"
"They suspect someone of dabbling in blood magic."
Lita froze and listened.
"Why would anyone do anything so stupid? That's a death sentence."
"Because blood magic is powerful? You can bend others to your will... and... and... force demons into your service. Well... That's what I hear anyway..."
Lita walked away before she could hear more. They did not know that the person under suspicion was Jowan. She hated knowing this. Ducking into a small nearby storage room, she made sure it was empty and locked the door. She wanted to change at least. The staff was placed gently against the wall as the mage went about the process of taking off her apprentice robe. After undoing a string at her back, she pulled down the arms of her robe and it fell around her waist carelessly. She pushed the material down and wiggled out of it.
Hastily, she stepped into the Circle robe she had been given. She pulled the skirt up to her waist and let the velvety material flow down to her feet. She pulled the stretching top up from her stomach and let it conform to her chest and back, accentuating her femininity. The golden embroidery of the robes circled around her breasts. It seemed a bit exaggerated and unnecessary for such a distinction. Her neckline was exposed and she could feel the open air hitting her scar. She ignored the tickling urge at her throat and put her arms through the robe's sleeves, her shoulders exposed. It was very fancy, not like the senior enchanters' robes. This seemed daring for the Circle; it was not so conservative. It seemed special, unlike many of the Circle mages' robes. There was no tie for this robe; it simply conformed to her shape and stretched is she needed to be out of it.
She couldn't explain it, but wearing this outfit made her feel just a bit more powerful. It was probably enchanted. She smiled as she picked up her staff and put it through a loop that hung about the back of her waistline. A hoop of silky material rounded her waist to conceal the loop. The staff teetered for a moment until she used a simple force spell to shift its gravity. She would have to mess with the strap later, but for now she found herself wanting Cullen more than ever. Picking up her apprentice robes, she folded them and placed them on a nearby pile of books. They were no longer needed. She unlocked the door and ventured out, smoothing her hair and concealing most of her bare neckline by draping it in front of both shoulders. She touched her scar gingerly and cringed as she began walking back towards the Grey Warden's quarters, recalling seeing the templar near there. She saw and heard more mages on her journey. Some apprentices were hanging about the library and talking loudly. She saw no sign of Cullen yet and casually eavesdropped on the daily gossip as she continued moving forward.
"Is she awake? Is she all right?"
"What are you, best friends now?"
"I'm just curious! That templar, Cullen, said it was the quickest, cleanest Harrowing he'd ever seen! He says she's very talented and very brave."
Lita blushed and slowed her pace to listen two the two females.
"Well, he would, wouldn't he?"
"I just know I'll be terrified when my Harrowing comes, like Wendell was. He threw up every day for the next week just thinking about it..."
She hurried away, relieved the Harrowing was over. She wished people would stop talking about it so she could forget. A few apprentices around her age walked by, giggling a little: two females and a male mage.
"Hey, have you seen Jowan? He's been acting weird all day," the man said to Lita. "I've been looking for him."
"Pfft. You know him. Paranoid as ever," Lita said, waving an arm dismissively. "I'm sure he's around here somewh-"
"I heard Cullen's in love with you," one of the two ladies he was traveling with commented bluntly, holding back laughter. The other woman snickered.
Lita blushed and tried to play it off. "Cullen? The... templar? That's insane."
"Right... I guess you haven't heard the way he talks about you then..." the other woman voiced in an insinuating voice. "You are the one mage who can do no wrong, Lita. He talks the other templars ears off about you. People listen to that sort of thing, you know. Why, just this morning he was praising your skills at your Harrowing. You are sowonderful," she teased.
"I heard you and he... got... physical," the male mage implied slyly. "And not in the usual templar way when dealing with mages..."
Lita felt a blockage in her throat, finding it nearly impossible to speak. She felt both angry and exposed.
"So is it true? Did you help him... break those vows?" one of the women eagerly asked. Lita could no longer bear to look at their faces.
"Whoever told you that is full of rubbish," Lita retorted, rolling her eyes and looking at the male. A little blush remained on her skin. "I've never been... like that. With anyone."
The man smiled at her slyly. "I... see... That's quite a shame. You are looking stunning in those Circle robes... Very... different Circle robes at that..." The females rolled their eyes, clearly having heard compliments like this before. "Well, would you like to have that experience? We could arrange something for the night, you and I."
Lita's eyes widened and her face flushed with color. Humiliation washed over her. "I don't know what else you've heard about me, but I am not easy. And I'd rather not do such a thing with you. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
She made her way down the hallway at a quick pace, heart pounding. The women were laughing full force at their friend's rejection. Their laughter faded into the distance when she reached the end of the corridor. She finally saw the purple robes of a templar swishing back and forth as he patrolled the hall. She smiled as she set her eyes on his uncovered face. He was looking into the doors near him as she approached, making sure everything was in order. She came up behind him silently and stared for a moment with a smile, waiting for the moment he would notice her.
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Beyond the Circle