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Alphys Fapfic Cumpendium	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > UnderTale Views: 3662 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Undertale and all of its characters belong exclusively to Toby "Radiation" Fox, and I have no intent of infringing on said copyright. Of course, this also means that this is a strictly non-profit work.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
One evening in the bright, sunny and peaceful underground world of Undertale, Alphys was still just sitting around in her lab in Hotland, with instant noodles and unopened letters piled up all over her computer desk like a complete and utter weeaboo loser.
Shame, too, seeing as how Alphys was probably the cutest monster in the entire Underground, what with her chubby little dinosaur looks and her incredibly adorkable and cuddly personality.
"Sigh...what have I done?" Alphys sobbed, pressing her hands into her rosy, cushy cheeks as she sat on the floor and cried dejectedly, with tears gently streaming down her twinkly-eyed, bespectacled face as her beloved celebrity robot, Mettaton, rolled into the room.
"All those monsters...melted together into...oh god, I don't even know how to describe them...I'm so ashamed of myself. Perhaps I'm the real monster here..." Alphys continued sobbing, burying her fat, squishy head in her pudgy little paws and whimpering like a little puppy as Mettaton turned into his EX form and quietly walked over to where she was sitting.
"Aww...what's the matter, darling? Cat got your tongue?" Mettaton EX asked her, crouching down onto his knee and cuddling her lovingly.
"EEP! Mettaton, you surprised me!" Alphys squeaked and giggled girlishly, blushing and fidgeting embarrassedly as Mettaton gave her a nice big smooch on the cheek.
"Oh, knock it off, you silly goose!" Mettaton laughed, swinging his hand down like a cat paw as Alphys rolled her beady little eyes like a pair of googly eyes.
"Really, though, dearie; what's been bothering you so? I'm ALWAYS happy to help out, you know!" Mettaton chuckled, patting Alphys on the head and grinning like an idiot as he watched her bounce up and down like a teddy bear.
"It's...it's about...I'm sorry, but I'm just too afraid to tell you...I don't think you'd understand..." Alphys sighed, standing up and sniffling in dismay.
"Well then, why not just put an interestingly clever little SPIN on things?" Mettaton laughed, grabbing Alphys by the hand like a ballerina dancer and spinning her around until she toppled over onto the floor, with little chickens running in circles around her buck-toothed head.
"Because...because I'm just too much of a coward to even try." Alphys sobbed, standing back up on her stubby little legs and stumbling back and forth from her dizziness.
"Aw, come on, sweetie, it's nothing to be ashamed of! I mean, everyone has a few SKELETONS in their closet, am I right?" Mettaton snickered as he opened one of Alphys' closets and pointed to a huge wall-mounted portrait poster of her high-school self making out lovingly with Sans.
"Uh...tee hee...uh, I can explain..." Alphys stammered, blushing and sweating as she clutched the sides of her big, round snout in fear.
"No need to fear, darling, Mettaton's got you covered! BOOP!" Mettaton teased her, flicking her adorable little nose with his finger.
"OWIE!" Alphys wailed, waving her arms up and down like a human hummingbird.
"Oh, come on, LOOK at you! You're far too CUTE to even be worrying about stuff like this in the first place!" Mettaton giggled, lifting Alphys up by the tail and nuzzling her snout with his nose.
"You just...you just can't understand how this feels." Alphys sighed as Mettaton set her back down onto her dainty little feet.
"Alphys, PLEASE, for the love of God, just tell me what you're TALKING about!" Mettaton got down on his kness and begged her, squeezing oily tears out of his eyes.
"Sorry, but I have to go now..." Alphys sighed, walking over into her bathroom and shutting the door as Mettaton stared in disbelief.
"HMPH! Fine, then, BE like that! You won't be getting much sympathy from ME, though! Good-BYE, mother!" Mettaton yelled at her in frustration, turning around and facing the front door with his arms crossed angrily over his chest as he turned back into his calculator form.
"TEE HEE HEE...YOU CALLED ME MOM!" Alphys laughed squeakily with an adorably blushing smile on her face, covering her mouth with her paws like a cuddly little chipmunk.
"UGH!" Mettaton groaned, storming out the room...only it wasn't really storming, since he was actually just rolling on his teeny-tiny little wheel.
"Sigh...here I am." Alphys sighed as she stepped out of the elevator (yes, the bathroom was actually an elevator all along) and looked around curiously at her dilapidated surroundings.
The tiled floor was moldy and stagnant, the paint was peeling off the cracked and slimy walls, and the air was thick and pungent...and yet, Alphys was used to it.
"Home sweet home..." Alphys sighed, leaning forward and drooping her arms down in front of her with cute little sad eyes as she sadly walked down the cold, dark halls, with numerous wall-mounted lab entry screens lighting up behind her as she passed by them.
"Uhh...hey, there, guys." Alphys sighed, curling her tail around her cute little lizard feet and biting it nervously as she went through the main lobby into the True Laboratory's incredibly massive bedroom (where all of the beds had been arranged against the wall for some odd reason) and reluctantly greeted her...pets.
"SURPRISE!" they all greeted her, jumping out from behind the beds with party hats on top of their heads as the delightfully ear-piercing sound of birthday horns and confetti filled the room.
"So, anyway, uhh...hi there, giant faceless dog-octopus monstrosity! And giant slug with freaky giant mouth-face on top! And giant half-melting Snowdrake mother with Vegetoid mouth-eyes! And giant creepy skull thing with who-knows-how many eyesockets! Oh, and last but not least, how could I possibly forget giant ten-foot-tall bird thing with sideways Astigmatism for a head? You're the cutest one of ALL, aren't you?" Alphys sarcastically greeted Endogeny, Lemon Bread, Snowy, Memoryhead and Reaper Bird, in that order.
"What are you so sad about?" Reaper Bird asked her, stretching out its neck toward her.
"Come on, let's turn that FROWN upside DOWN!" Lemon Bread pretended to laugh maniacally, drooling through its black slimy teeth and grinning at Alphys suggestively.
"Come out and PLAY with us..." Memoryhead whispered into her earhole, stroking the inside of her ear canal with its tentacle-tongue.
"YUCK! You just gave me a Wet Willie!" Alphys winced in response, sticking out her tongue.
"Heh...speaking of wet willies..." Reaper Bird cackled grimly, spreading out its legs and creeping slowly but surely toward her as she fidgeted and trembled in fright.
"You're...so...hot..." Snowy moaned painfully, struggling to hold itself together as its eye-mouths grinned from ear to ear with delight at the very sight of Alphys.
"Umm...g-guys? GUYS?! T-this isn't about to turn into yet another r-rape fic, is it!?" Alphys gasped, her eyes frantically darting around the room in search of a good escape route as the Amalgamates drew ever closer to her...and closer...and closer.
"No...no...no no no no NO NO NO!" Alphys screamed in knee-buckling terror, clutching her head and cowering as the Amalgamates extended out their tongues and tentacles directly toward her while rabidly foaming at the mouth(?).
"AH HA HA HA HA!" the Amalgamates suddenly laughed as they all stopped what they were doing and pulled themselves away from her triumphantly.
"What the hell was THAT?!" Alphys growled furiously at them with an adorable little squinty-eyed frown on her anger-reddened face, flaring her itsy-bitsy little nostrils as a multitude of fluffy little cotton-ball-shaped steam puffs blew out of them.
"It was just a PRANK, brah!" Memoryhead laughed, reaching out and patting her on the back with its eye-tentacles.
"HMPH!" Alphys squeaked like a mouse, crossing her arms over her chubby little chest and planting her pointy-toed little feet firmly onto the floor.
"Oh, come on, lighten up!" Reaper Bird laughed, pulling out a flamethrower and lighting the candle on the birthday cake that was lying on top of the huge center table with it.
"HOLY SCHNIKIES!" Alphys screamed as she reflexively curled up into a teeny-tiny little lizard ball on the floor, effectively ducking underneath the stream of flames.
"AND NOW, we have Lemon Bread going straight for the kill!" Memoryhead stereotypically imitated a basketball announcer as Lemon Bread reached in, grabbed Alphys off of the floor and began dribbling her like an actual basketball; yes, she was, in fact, literally THAT bouncy.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Alphys wailed as Lemon Bread dribbled her across the tiled floor.
"AND NOW, he passes it straight to Mama Drake!" Memoryhead announced as Lemon Bread tossed Alphys into Snowy's right eye-mouth.
"THAR SHE BLOWS!" Memoryhead laughed as Alphys was spat right out of Snowy's left eye-mouth and flew through the air, straight into Reaper Bird's gaping, eagerly awaiting beak-maw.
"And there we have it, folks! HE SHOOTS...AND HE SCORES!" Memoryhead laughed heartily as Reaper Bird scraped Alphys out of its mouth with its wing and then flung her like a little yellow booger into the air, prompting Endogeny to then catch her in midair with its tongue and lasso-slam her into an eerily conveniently-placed nearby trash can.
"Ding...dang...diddly...doo..." Alphys slurred dizzily with stars spinning around her head as she scraped several rotten banana peels off of her face and stepped out onto the floor...only to then have her foot slip on one of the banana peels!
"WAUGGGH!" Alphys screamed, doing an accidental frontflip in the air and landed right on her big fat butt as Reaper Bird cut the cake.
"Oh, don't worry, we're just having FUN with you!" Lemon Bread explained, scooping her up into its slimy, goopy arms and setting her down at her seat on the dinner table (not to mention forcefully tying her to the chair with a rope, because why not?)
"Yeah, don't be such a frickin' BABY!" Memoryhead snickered, shoving a pacifier into her mouth while Lemon Bread tied a baby bonnet around her neck as well as a bib that said FEED ME TEMMIE FLAKES and even attached a smiley-faced little pom-pom onto the end of her tail.
"Just play along, Alphys, just PLAY ALONG..." Alphys' internal monologue urged her as Reaper Bird gave her a baby rattle and removed the pacifier from her mouth with a loud resounding POP...causing her to immediately start crying like an actual baby, wagging her tail as her adorably chubby little cheeks turned rosy-red with embarrassment.
"Now come on and blow out that candle!" Memoryhead commanded her, shoving her face up against it as she weakly let out a cute little whistle through her mouth, sweating nervously.
"Come on, BLOW, you piece of garbage!" Lemon Bread yelled at her as it grabbed her head and smashed her face right into the cake, splattering the cake all over the place and covering her already cute little face with rainbow-colored frosting, chocolate cake and sprinkles.
"My, my, what a MESSY little baby you are! Dear me, you ought to learn some MANNERS!" Reaper Bird giggled as Endogeny gleefully licked all of the sugary dessert residue off of Alphys' dirty face while Memoryhead grabbed a metal spork off of the floor with its tentacles and used it to scoop up a nice big chunk of leftover cake bits off of...well, the floor.
"Here comes the AIRPLANE!" Memoryhead laughed, attempting to force the sporkful of cake directly into her mouth.
"MM-MM!" Alphys squeaked, nodding her head and keeping her adorable little mouth firmly, tightly shut with all of her might.
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, JUST FREAKING EAT IT, FAT-FACE!" Memoryhead yelled at her as Lemon Bread bit her right on the end of her tail.
"AIEEEEEE!" Alphys screamed in pain, tears streaming down her face as Memoryhead immediately took the opportunity to shove the sporkful of cake directly into her wide-open mouth. "MMMFFF!"
And thus, this process continued until Alphys had finally eaten nearly every last bit of cake in the room. Once she was finally done, the Amalgamates gathered themselves in front of her, held hands together and sang the song of their people.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy BIRTH-day, dear everyone-that's-crammed-into-my-body-thanks-to-a-certain-fatass-yellow-scientist...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" all five of them sang in perfect blissful harmony.
"Now give your daddy a nice big kiss on the TONGUE!" Reaper Bird laughed as Alphys suddenly found herself face-to-face with Endogeny...and its tongue.
"UGH...fine..." Alphys groaned, sticking out her tongue and twirling it together with Endogeny's in what we humans would call a French Kiss.
"There, there, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Lemon Bread teased her, patting her on the head as it untied her from her seat and set her down onto the floor.
"Let's...have...sleepover..." Snowy suggested, trying not to melt onto the floor with excitement.
"ALRIGHTY, THEN!" Alphys squeaked with joy, running into the closet and changing into her Mew Mew Kissy Cutie pajamas.
"So...what happens next?" Alphys asked.
"Isn't it obvious? We're just going to sit on the couch and watch anime like a bunch of LOSERS!" Lemon Bread laughed as the six of them immediately went straight to the TV room.
"So, how are we doing on snacks?" Memoryhead asked, taking a seat next to the couch as Reaper Bird craned its neck down and looked into the refridgerator next to the TV.
"Hmm...let's see...looks like we've got some yummy, nutritious fried-worm-and-moldy-broccoli trail mix we need to finish eating!" Reaper Bird drooled, licking its...lips(?) as Lemon Bread took said bowl of trail mix out of the fridge and eagerly made its way over to the couch.
"UH...can I just e-eat my popato c-chisps, p-please?" Alphys asked, shivering with fear as she took her seat right in the middle of the couch and waited intently for the movie to start.
"No, you can eat HEALTHY!" Lemon Bread yelled at her, smacking her in the face and uttering a loud burp as it took its seat on the couch, with Alphys right next to him; naturally, Reaper Bird sat on the other side, causing Alphys to become somewhat squished in between them.
"W-what DVDs did you b-bring?" Alphys stammered, her face crinkling up and turning green from how awful the smell surrounding her was as Lemon Bread's armpit slime oozed onto one side of her sweaty, terrified face while Reaper Bird's wing slime trickled down the other.
"Why, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, of course!" Reaper Bird laughed as Lemon Bread reached into its bowl and forcefully crammed a huge handful of trail mix into Alphys' mouth.
"That's...really...great, I suppose..." Alphys gagged as Lemon Bread grabbed her squishy little snout and chin and forced her mouth open and shut to make sure she was chewing her food.
"Whoa, I'm feeling green around the gills..." Alphys warbled lightheadedly, clutching her aching belly with her skinny little arms and then suddenly grabbing onto Lemon Bread's snack bowl.
"BLEEEEAUUUUUGH!" Alphys retched, puking violently into the already-disgusting mixture.
"Hoo, boy, you just made it even BETTER!" Lemon Bread laughed as it began to gluttonously scoop the mixture into its mouth while Reaper Bird turned on the TV and began playing the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 movie.
"No...NO...oh, GOD, no...PLEASE...not THIS one..." Alphys cried as the movie began.
ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"Oh, Jesus CHRIST, my freaking EARS are literally BLEEDING right now from how atrociously GOD-AWFUL this freaking VOICE ACTING is! And the freaking clichéd Dragon Ball Z animation looks like the type of crap that frickin' PAPYRUS drew back when he was in FIFTH GRADE!" Alphys ranted furiously, waving her arms up and down and wiggling her toes with rage.
"You're...so...adorable..." Snowy complimented her, resting its left Vegetoid head on top of her head and letting its icy sludge melt all over her livid, disgusted, beady-eyed, chubby-cheeked little face...which actually somehow cooled her off, believe it or not.
"Thanks, I needed that." Alphys thanked her reluctantly, giving her a high-five and shifting her focus back to the film at hand, which actually wasn't even all that bad, believe it or not.
"Hey, jerkface! Learn to freaking SHARE, would you?!" Reaper Bird growled angrily at Lemon Bread, who was greedily hogging all of the vomit-drenched trail mix for itself.
"Guys, GUYS, PLEASE DON'T-
"OVER MY DEAD, REEKING, PIMPLE-COVERED BODY!" Lemon Bread yelled as if it was literally uttering a war cry as it suddenly engaged in a violent, nasty fistfight with Reaper Bird, accidentally throwing the bowl onto a certain curled-up lizard ball right in between them.
"EWWWWWW..." Alphys groaned, uncurling herself as a rather uneven mixture of deep-fried earthworms, moldy broccoli bits and her own slimy vomit dripped down her face and clothes.
"AWOoOOoOoooOO!" Endogeny howled as it licked her clean with its soggy, nasty tongue.
"Gee, THANKS..." Alphys sighed, burying her head in her hands and sobbing gently.
ONE HOUR LATER...
"Oh, thank the LORD it's finally over!" Alphys groaned, taking off her pajama top due to how hot it was getting in the general area; luckily, she was still wearing a bra underneath.
"So...what should we do now?" Reaper Bird asked, craning its neck all the way over to where the sleepy, snoozing Memoryhead was sitting and pecking it with its beak.
"OOH, I KNOW! LET'S PLAY A GAME! IT'S CALLED TRUTH OR DARE!" Memoryhead yelled ecstatically from the shock of being suddenly woken up as Reaper Bird shrunk back in surprise.
"Okay, you first, Alphys!" Memoryhead announced, pointing toward her with its tentacles as the six of them sat in a nice big circle together on the floor.
"Who, ME?" Alphys gasped in surprise, blushing and covering her cleavage with her hands in a failed attempt to stop Lemon Bread and Reaper Bird from peeking at it.
"YES, you!" Memoryhead confirmed, yanking her into the middle of the circle and delivering the first clearly-made-up-on-the-spot question of the game straight to her.
"Umm, okay..." Alphys sighed, hissing like a snake at Reaper Bird and Lemon Bread.
"OKAY, OKAY, JESUS CHRIST!" Reaper Bird and Lemon Bread backed off, shivering with fear.
"Okay, so, anyway..." Memoryhead stammered, darting its eyes around... "are you ticklish?"
"Uh...well...ehehe...n-not really!" Alphys giggled and blushed nervously, knowing she was lying as Memoryhead pulled some kind of wooden board with two holes in it out of the closet.
"HA! Look what we have here! Liar, liar, pants on fire, am I right?" Memoryhead chuckled, putting Alphys' feet into stocks and tying up her arms with its tentacles as Lemon Bread began nibbling at the tip of her tail. Yup, these things knew all of her ticklish spots by heart.
"MMF...tee hee..." Alphys giggled and bit her lip, trying hard not to laugh as Snowy used its Vegetoid tongues to lick her armpits while Reaper Bird scratched her belly with its beak.
"Just give it up already!" Lemon Bread laughed at her as Endogeny began licking the most ticklish spot of all...her bare, ultra-sensitive, generally adorable little feet.
That did it.
"EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEEEE! AHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAH! STAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHHP! PLEE-HEE HEE-HEEASE! HAVE MERCEE-HEE-HEE-HEEEEEY!" Alphys screamed and cried with squeaky laughter as waterfalls of tears poured down her blushing, humiliated, bespectacled, clearly ticklish face.
"Oh, we're not gonna show any mercy until you admit that Mew Mew 2 was actually a pretty good movie!" Memoryhead laughed as the intensive tickle torture continued.
"OKAY, OKAY, OKEH-HEH-HEH-HEHHH! I'LL ADMI-HI-HI-HIT, IT WAS ACTUALLEE-HEE-HEE ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEEEEEES!" Alphys nearly died of laughter, struggling to regain her breath as Memoryhead freed her from her constraints.
"That's better." Memoryhead sighed, clapping sarcastically with its tentacles. "Anyway, it's almost midnight now...looks like we only have time for one more question! And I believe I would ask it to...oh, why the hell not, SNOWY!"
"You...rang?" Snowy asked, its Vegetoid heads beginning to act a bit...unusual.
"MAMA...I'M...THIRSTY..." Snowy's Vegetoid babies(?) moaned and cried.
"Well, I guess THAT answers the exact question that I was literally RIGHT about to ask you, now DOESN'T it?" Memoryhead sighed, facepalming itself with its tentacles.
"Well, everyone, you heard the man; it's time to wrap things up and hit the hay!" Reaper Bird announced as all five of the Amalgamates began marching out of the room...all of them, that is, except for Snowy, who was still eagerly fixated on Alphys for some odd reason.
"Umm...Snowy? What's going on here?" Lemon Bread asked Snowy as all of the other Amalgamates also noticed Snowy's absence from the group and went back into the room to see what she was up to regarding her relationship(?) with Alphys.
"Please...feed...my babies..." Snowy begged Alphys urgently.
"What'll happen if I don't?" Alphys asked Snowy curiously.
"I...will...die..." Snowy explained as its half-melting condition started to worsen even further.
"Oh, dear...well, if there's no other choice, I suppose I'll oblige..." Alphys blushed shamefully as she unceremoniously slipped her top off and immediately closed her eyes.
"OOO...OOH...OHHHH...AHHHHH...OH, BABY..." Alphys moaned as the spectating Amalgamates just stood there completely stunned with their jaws agape, lacking the proper vocabulary to describe what they were witnessing.
"OHHHH...UGGGH...AHHHHH...OHHHHH, MAMMMMMAAAAA..." Alphys continued moaning as Undyne and Papyrus watched it happening on the security cameras up in Alphys' regular Lab, both of them cringing in utter disbelief.
"THANK...YOU...MOMMY..." Snowy's babies(?) moaned with relief, licking the milk off of their lips as Alphys slipped her bra back on and went straight to bed, where she cuddled with Endogeny all night in an attempt to forget what had happened...
...but alas, it didn't work, and thus, poor little Alphys wound up with terminal breast cancer.
THE END.
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Alphys Fapfic Cumpendium