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In good times and in bad	By : kruemel Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 14749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

Chapter List
- 63
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A sickly green sky stretches above me, dimly glowing with venomous clouds billowing around a distant source of light. I feel disoriented, lost and dizzy as I stumble through a barren and destroyed land, with bleached bones scattering the ground.
My body feels so heavy, I can hardly move. And the more I try the heavier it gets. With every forced step forward it seems as if I make two backwards. Cold sweat is pouring down my face, I freeze while I'm hot and my heart is pounding painfully fast in my chest. There's a weight squeezing my ribcage so tightly, I am afraid it's going to crush. Tripping over a skull, I fall to my knees.
That's when I hear it... a distant flapping sound growing louder and louder. Tilting my head back, I look up into the venomous sky... and there it is... the dragon... the archdemon.
I can feel it.
It's there in every fibre of my body, like thick, viscous poison spreading through me. Slowly, sickeningly, it eats me up from the inside. Thousands of worms and maggots seem to crawl beneath my skin, boring deeper into my flesh. I scream and tear at my armour, desperately trying to get to my bare skin. I have to rip it off of me, tear it away. I have to get the taint out of me.
The archdemon has spotted me... I cannot even crawl away. I flail helplessly on the ground, writhing and howling in agony. There's a pain drilling into my head as if a hot knife was poked from the inside of my skull against the back of my eyes.
The archdemon lands with a loud thud right above me, its claws digging into the ground next to me. Where it touches the ground, the earth withers and corruption spreads like a wildfire. Growling lowly, the beast lowers its head to look me right into the eye... its eyes are made of solid pitch black hatred and they bore into me mercilessly... I whimper, trying to escape its stare by covering my face with my arms...but I cannot move... there's no escape... The archdemon opens its huge mouth, blowing its foul breath right into my face, and it roars...
I wake with a startled cry. Soaked in sweat and still shivering, I try to regain control over my frantic self and find out where the fuck I am. My heart is thundering, the blood rushing through my veins is unbearably noisy in my ears. Bloody blasted fucking shit... what was that?
Next to me someone's sobbing... Rori?
"Alistair?" she feels around for me in the darkness, clinging to my arm. She's trembling.
"You're awake!" I'm still so confused; nightmare and reality are hard to distinguish. "Did... did you dream, too?"
"Yes," she breathes, pressing closer to me, her fingers digging into the bare flesh of my shoulders.
"It was like the archdemon saw us... saw us... what does that mean?" I hold on to her as if my life depended on it. The contact reminds me that this is real, that the archdemon is not here - not yet here - to get us. The darkness around us is thick with fear. Outside the dog is barking madly. Did he dream, too?
"I don't know. It's as if it took notice of us... I... Alistair, I'm so scared..."
"I think..." I begin, comfortingly stroking her hair. Suddenly I freeze, my eyes widening in shock. "Wait... Did you hear that?" The only sound outside are Barkley's frantic barking and Shale telling the stupid dog to shut up. But that's not what I mean - and Rori knows. It's a noise that's in our heads only, by now a far too familiar tingling, like a screaming headache that feels like it's going to split your skull open.
"Darkspawn!"
Rori and I stumble out of the tent, almost tripping over each other as we shout to alarm our sleeping companions. Rori wears nothing but my shirt, I wear nothing but my smallclothes - and call myself lucky that I did put them back on after making love to Rori or I'd be out here in the cold winter night completely naked. Barefooted we run through the snow, clutching our weapons. I can sense the darkspawn close by. They have found us... I wish I could call it a coincidence... but after that dream I doubt it.
Sten appears in the ring of light around the fire, wearing full plate armour. Does he sleep in that thing? Does he sleep at all?
Oghren is at his heels... he's completely naked. At least he didn't forget to bring his axe. If not for the shriek appearing out of nowhere right in front of me, I'd be horrified by the sight. But the shriek beats Oghren by far.
I ignore the ice biting my feet and lunge into battle, cutting down darkspawn... and almost Sandal when he comes staggering out of the darkness, grinning stupidly.
"Enchantment?" he claps his hands, bouncing up and down giddily while he beams at me. I stab the shriek suddenly looming over Sandal right in the face.
"Not now, Sandal!" I spin around to fend off another darkspawn. "We're under attack. Where's Bodahn?"
"Nice pyjamas, Sandal," Zevran comments, appearing next to me. "I’ll take care of him, Alistair. You go and help Rori."
"Morrigan!" Rori shouts next to me, then darts off towards the witch's camping place a little aside the rest of the camp. Morrigan is surrounded by darkspawn, frantically firing spells at them. Cursing, I run after Rori, knocking a shriek out of my way with my shield. I hate when she just rushes somewhere, completely ignoring tactics, our team battle training, her own safety... With a loud cry, my fellow Grey Warden crashes into the mass of darkspawn, drawing their attention away from the cornered apostate. It works quite well.
A little too well.
Duncan once said, darkspawn recognize Grey Wardens as their natural enemies. As soon as they sense Rori and me, they charge us, leaving the witch alone. The blasted shrieks are wickedly fast and I find myself forced back into defence without much of a chance to fight back. I leave this to Rori while I try to cover her back - and sides. She should hurry up a little. I'm already in for a special treatment by Wynne. Luckily Morrigan freezes some of the bastards, buying us time until our reinforcement arrives in form of Sten and the drunken dwarf.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Shale swinging a shriek like a dead cat. Barkley follows a darkspawn into Solona's tent. The mage has never before been outside her tower. She's completely lost - and sets her tent on fire when defending herself. Zevran rescues her with the dog's help while Leliana, Wynne and Jowan fend off the darkspawn. Sandal meanwhile seems to believe this is all a whole lot of fun. At least Bodahn has returned with Darrian in tow and keeps Sandal out of our way.
One of the shrieks turns out to be no shriek at all. The creature can still be recognized as the elf it has once been. It shrinks away from Rori when she comes rushing for it. "No, don't. Go away. I do not want to... hurt you... hurt anybody..." It attempts to run away but is drawn back to us like a puppet on a string, only to force itself to turn away once more.
"Wait... who are you?" Rori calls after him, lowering her blades as not to scare the creature. I stay wary, ready to attack should this thing make a wrong move.
"Was Tamlen," the creature snarls, hugging itself. "No longer now."
"Maybe we can... find help for you?" Solona wonders out loud as she draws closer with the rest of the group. There's sympathy in her voice, sadness, fear. It's her first encounter with the darkspawn. Rori shakes her head at the same time that I do. We both know better by now. It's what the taint does when it doesn't kill you. Like Hespith this unfortunate elf has turned into a ghoul. The taint inside of him has to be stronger than with the dwarf. She at least could still form coherent sentences. Tamlen has already lost too much of his humanity.
"No. No help for me," the creature croaks, clutching its head. A strangled gurgling sound escapes its throat as it sobs. "The song in my head, it calls to me. It sings to me. I can't stop it."
"We could take him to Avernus..." Rori mutters, but her voice fades away when I sharply glare at her. Where she gets these ideas from is totally beyond me.
"Avernus can't do anything for him but use him for his research," I snap, causing her to wince. "Rori, this man is no different from the refugees we killed. We have to end his life. It's better for him. It's a mercy."
"You know, mercy begins to sound a lot like a euphemism for death," Rori sighs when we show our mercy once more and slay the ghoul that once was Tamlen. I wonder where he came from, how he was infected, if his family knows what happened to him... All we can do for him, is pay him our last respect and burn his body properly.
"Is everybody okay?" Rori asks once the fight is over. "Wynne, Solona, make sure everybody is fine and won't fall off their horses. We shouldn't stay here any longer in case the archdemon has some more surprises for us. How could it know where we are?"
"The archdemon itself? How unnerving," Leliana exclaims, as she passes by, avoiding to step into puddles of black ichor and bright red blood. "That's not good, is it? No, certainly not good... Has anybody seen Schmooples? Schmoople-Doople, where is my little darling?" And off she runs into the night in search of her rabbit-pig.
"I guess it's like Duncan once said," I mutter with clattering teeth. Only now that the fight is over, do I realize how cold it actually is, as I stand barefooted in the snow. "We can sense them. And they can sense us. We'd best be more careful from now on. This camp isn't safe any longer."
"This camp has never been safe, you fool," Morrigan snorts as she marches back to her destroyed tent. Cursing she pulls her precious grimoire out of the chaotic mess. "Hmph, what do they send next? Darkspawn tax collectors?"
"What? No traps. No ambush." Zevran snorts, sounding quite amused. Solona tends a deep cut at his inner thigh. He seems rather delighted about that, pretending to be far more hurt than he actually is. The mage seems rather amused by him. "Some assassins!"
"As if your trap and ambush worked so well," I mutter, causing Zevran to clap his hands over his heart as if I had struck him there.
"Aw, Alistair, my dear friend, you hurt my feelings," he slurs, wiping a non existent tear from the corner of his eye.
"And no bosom where you could rest your head for comfort," I grin. Rubbing it in now that I - unlike the elf - have access to the most beautiful bosom I can imagine? Yes, totally. I admit, I have a bitchy side.
"Oh, I don't mind some broad manly shoulders either," the elf chuckles and winks at me. Solona unsuccessfully tries to bite back a giggle.
Err... okay, this was funny... until now... now it's a bit... creepy...
"Sorry, Zev, these broad manly shoulders are already occupied," Rori laughs, snuggling to me.
Sometimes I am a bit worried about our sanity. We are surrounded by the corpses of about a dozen or more shrieks that attempted to murder us, plus one unfortunate ghoul - and we are back to joking already. I can still feel the anxiety caused by the nightmare, I'm alert, scanning the area - and I jest about bosoms... Oh, well, life is short. One should enjoy it as long as it lasts - and bosoms certainly make this world a more beautiful place...
"What do you estimate are the chances of success, Qunari?" the golem inquires while she waits for the rest of us to be mended together again. She sounds unsure, startled by the attack. I can't blame her. If the archdemon can find us two Grey Warden recruits here somewhere in the middle of nowhere, how can we even hope to outsmart it?
"For the Grey Warden?" Sten asks as monotonously as always. He doesn't even wince when the mages tend his wounds. The shrieks have given him quite some trouble. He's huge, he's heavy - and getting heavier with all the cookies and cake he keeps stuffing into himself whenever he has a chance - and he's slow. Shrieks are tremendously fast and they have these nasty talons, long and sharp enough to cut through armour like a tin opener. "Little to none."
"Hey!" I protest, although I do know Sten is right. The last four Blights lasted for years... and there is no way we have that much time to save Ferelden. The archdemon will strike soon, too soon, and we will only have one chance to defeat it. Still, it feels much better to tell oneself that there is still a chance, that we can actually do it, even if I’m fooling myself... I want to believe in Rori, in us. "Ever heard of something called moral support? Something like: Yay! You can do this!" Sten just glares pointedly at me. "Self-deception can be very helpful, you know. I do that all the time."
"No surprise there," Morrigan snorts.
"So, why does it follow?" Shale asks after a moment of consideration. She sounds confused. And she completely ignores me. Some things never change. It's somewhat comforting. "I do not risk death, but it does."
"My mission is no different from the Grey Warden's," Sten patiently explains. "I must see this through to the end."
"The end of the archdemon," Rori calls from the other side of the camp where she helps Jowan and Zevran strapping our belongings to the horses. Rori is the queen of self-fooling. I guess, as our leader she has to be optimistic for the rest of us. She has to be stronger than anybody else, like Cailan had to seem confident about the battle at Ostagar when he truly was expecting a defeat. I would never have guessed considering his behaviour. And now I feel ashamed that I believed him to be a spoilt moron back then.
Rori has her moments when she is close to giving up. But she never does. I guess, that's what finally won Sten over. After all his criticism, he now acknowledges her stubbornness as an extraordinary strength.
"It would rather perish than give up its quest?" the golem wonders.
"Indeed. There is honour to be salvaged in such a quest, no matter its chances."
"Honour is a curious thing. It is far better to be practical."
"What use is practicality when it leads to cowardice and emptiness? It is better to live well, than to live," Sten patiently explains.
That's how I felt when becoming a Grey Warden, that my life had a cause now when before it was wasted. Cullen certainly would disagree. And I don't mean that being a templar is a waste of time all together... I mean, it is important. And honourable. And... okay, now I'm getting confused. Anyway, this is my mission and I am not going to run away no matter the chances... and if there's a chance at all then Rori will use it. I am confident of that.
"An, uh... interesting theory," the golem mutters, frowning thoughtfully. It looks funny when she frowns with all those little cracks appearing on her forehead.
"There is worth in your life, Shale," Sten assures her. He sounds serious and almost... gentle. "There is value, but only if it is used."
Hey, this is the first time that Sten makes sense to me - and I even agree!
Okay, I'd rather have him be a bit more supportive and optimistic about our chances of success... It would make things easier for Rori. She pulls all her strength and confidence from somewhere inside of her. How such a petite, young girl can be so incredibly tough is beyond me. She keeps saying she finds her strength in her love for me. Only tonight she told me, I am her pillar of light in this darkness... I had to laugh so hard, it made me snort my drink out through my nose as she was holding on to my erect manhood at the same time... it was a rather silly moment and we were rather tipsy... anyway... what was I actually talking about? And why do I always end up wanting to make love to Rori in the most impossible moments? Like... now... when the white shirt she's wearing... my white shirt... my by now wet white shirt... is clinging to her skin and her hard nipples press against the cloth... She's shivering, freezing and I so want to make her get warm...
Blast!
I am only wearing my smallclothes and it hardly hides anything... especially not that bulge...
Wynne, taking care of my injuries, is grinning at me like a cat that swallowed the pigeon. I quickly clap my hands over that treacherous part of my body and, blushing violently, I hope beyond hope that she has not noticed. The granny mage chuckles and shakes her head.
Blast, blast, blast!
"Honour is not to be neglected, Sten," Rori laughs, patting the Qunari's shoulder as she walks by to fetch herself and me some dry and warm clothes. Too bad. That was not how I was planning to get her warm. "I envision something greater, though... the defeat of the archdemon, ending the Blight, saving the world... I've never been the type for doing things by halves."
That is a rather apt description of her character. Even Sten has to admit that. And... he smiles! He tries to hide it behind his large hand but I am positive the corners of his mouth curled upwards.
Before we leave, Rori has the empty wine barrels filled again - with the darkspawn knocked out but still alive. And she doesn't even have to hunt them down since they've come for us. Avernus will be delighted. Two apprentices, a big package of pure lyrium and the darkspawn he required for his research, Rori is ticking off the items on his purchase list rather quickly. Not doing things by halves, right?
Somehow winter seems the preferred season of assassins as four days later we run into a group that - for once - doesn't want to kill us... well, they do want to kill us but only as a side effect. Their target is actually Leliana. Rori doesn't think this to be as comforting as I do. Leliana is completely devastated that Marjolaine, the woman that was her mentor - and more - still tries to kill her. "I do not understand why," she whispers, running her fingers through her hair uneasily.
"Your ex-lover, isn't she?" the elf slurs, grinning lecherously at the bard. "I doubt there'll be some steamy make-up sex then? No? What a pity. The mere imagination..." He falls silent when Leliana turns away with tears in her eyes. "Brasca! I didn't want to make her cry." He stands there, looking helpless and lost until Rori comes along and hugs him before she moves on to hugging Leliana.
"Alistair, my dear friend," the elf sighs, trying to wrap an arm around my shoulder and fails because he's just too small for that. And I won't have him put it around my waist. We're not some blasted married couple! "This girl is the finest woman I have ever met. Worship her like the goddess she is, because you will never again find another one like her."
"You think I do not realize that?"
"I don't know, you seem a little slow-witted sometimes," the elf chuckles.
"I like you, too, Zevran," I sigh, grinning down at the sneaky bastard. Somehow Rori has changed my point of view regarding the former assassin. And he has proven to be a loyal friend so far. I begin to believe he deserves this second chance she's given him.
Leliana is very silent and brooding, mostly staying to herself all the way up towards Warden's Peak. I ride beside her for a while, trying to figure out something to say to her but I can't come up with anything but commenting stupidly about the weather. The silence threatens to become awkward and I sweat a little, feeling foolish, when Leliana suddenly asks: "Do you ever regret leaving the Chantry?"
"No, never. Do you?"
"Yes," she says softly, almost sadly. "You may not believe it, but I found peace there. The kind of peace I've never known." I do believe her, but Leliana's life has been different from mine. With what she has revealed about her past, the Chantry must have been a save haven for her. For me it was just a place where they stuck me because they didn't want to be bothered with me any longer.
"It used to get so quiet at the monastery that I would start screaming until one of the brothers came running," I chuckle at the memory. "I would tell them that I was just checking. You never know, right?"
"I... no, I never did anything like that. I enjoyed the quiet." She doesn't sound as if she thinks this to be as funny as I do. Actually, not funny at all. Her view of the Chantry is more melancholic while I am just glad I escaped. I can't blame her, she sometimes longs to go back, especially now when her past comes crushing down on her again. Her faith is strong. She believes that the Maker has planned it all out for her, that she is part of something greater. Rori and I aren't sure if she is just fooling herself to feel better or if it's real. I'd say she's making it up if she wasn't so damn sure about what she says. Even the guardian at the temple of the sacred ashes blamed her to be no more than a pretender. It left her brooding for days but she didn't falter in her faith.
"Suit yourself," I laugh. "The look on their face was always priceless."
"You're so silly, Alistair." Leliana shakes her head at me but at least she smiles and punches my arm playfully. Mission successfully completed!
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In good times and in bad