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Crowded Elevator	By : insantics Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5612 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
A/N: I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I love parts of it, but other parts I feel are just not quite how I'd like them to be. But I've mulled over it for days and I don't feel like looking at it anymore; perhaps I'll come back and edit it later. For now, here it is!
Also, I added chapter titles. Each one is the title of a song that I feel pertains somewhat to the chapter. They're all good songs, and I know it's a little cheesy to do that, but the idea struck me and I felt like changing them so Nyah.
Crowded Elevator: 7
Hayner braced himself as he opened the door, trembling, and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before the plunge. When he walked in, he could feel his heart pounding in his throat. His hands shook terribly, and his breathing was ragged. His voice stopped in his throat at the sight before him.
His mother sat, facing toward the window in the room, away from the door. Hayner closed it gently behind him, and she made no move to turn toward him. Her head was slumped, and from what he could tell, her head was in her hands, covering her face from the garish rays of the sun shining in through the window.
“... Mom?” Hayner croaked, his voice catching in his throat obtrusively.
Her head snapped up, but she still didn't look at him.
“Who's there?!” she called, fear evident in her voice. “Who is it now?! What do you want?!”
The pace of his heart increased to a nearly impossible speed, pounding against his chest in the best effort to escape the confines of his thoracic cavity.
“It... it's me, Mom,” he started, uncertain. He cleared his throat, and stated more definitively, “It's Hayner.”
“Hayner...?” she said uncertainly, turning toward him slowly, raising her wide eyes to his face. “Oh, god!” she shouted, and suddenly stood, turning away from him and burying her head in her hands once more.
His heart slowly calming, Hayer took a tentative step toward her. His eyes softened sadly.
“It's okay, Mom. I... I'm here now,” he said, steadily making his way closer to his mother. “I told you I'd come back, didn't I?”
He approached her hesitantly, and with the same gentleness he's always exhibited toward her, touched her arm.
She snatched her arm away as if bitten, throwing her body against the wall and staring at him with an expression halfway between deadly fear and terrible anger.
“No!” she screamed, thrashing her head from side to side. “No, no, no!”
Hayner said nothing, shocked. She paused for a moment, looking down at the floor and panting.
“Why?! What's happening to me?!” her body slumped as if she were going to fall. “I... No! I want my little boy back!” she wailed, grabbing her hair. Hayner saw her body begin to tremble slightly.
He had to try to get through to her.
“I am your little boy,” he said, kneeling to her level, careful not to touch her or invade her space too much.
“Stop it!” she cried, “Shut up! I can't... why... why is it like this now?! Oh god. Oh god!”
This time she did fall to the floor, curling into herself and weeping openly, her tears sounding in the form of her broken voice. Her body heaved with the effort, and her breath choked as she cried.
And cried, and cried.
Hayner crawled to her, and attempted to wrap his arms around her fragile frame. She shoved him away again, but Hayner was determined. She recognized him. That was a start, wasn't it? He swallowed thickly to shove his heart back into it's rightful place.
“What do you mean?” he began gently. “Mom... it's okay, I promise. It's me, I swear it!”
“No!” she spat, glaring at him bitterly. “He's still innocent, uncorrupted, young! I... I need him. You're not him... You're not anything anymore! You – you're just...” she stumbled with her words, the sobs taking over her body again. “God! I want my life back!”
Hayner shook uncontrollably.
“You're not anything anymore!”
At those words, his brain began to race with emotions so powerful they threatened to consume him. His mind faltered, and he struggled to maintain his calm long enough to save her.
There had to be hope still. If he could just get through to her... Make her realize he was her son, that he loved her more than anything...
“I-It's okay, Mom,” he stuttered. “Things are... are just a little different now, but I'm still your son, I'm still here, always, for you, I love you, I need you-”
She only rocked back and forth, her cries less chaotic but no less tormented.
“I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you...” she muttered, her breath coming in gasps as she repeated the words like a prayer.
“Please, Mom,” he begged, tears beginning to prickle at his eyes as he felt himself start to lose it. “Please, please stop it... please...”
This situation, this pain, was the only thing that could make him beg.
“I can't, I can't, I can't!” she shuddered, beginning to lose her breath to the sobs continuing to overpower her. “It's all gone... My life, my child... I-I... I'm so... I'm so lost! I want my husband! I want my little boy! Oh, god...”
Hayner pulled her forcefully to him.
“We're here! Dammit Mom, we're here!”
“No! No you're not! It's not the same, it's not the same!” she screamed, yanking away from him, eyes and hair wild like a frightened lion poised to attack.
Hayner released her, and before he could back away, she'd reared back and threw herself toward him into a forceful slap.
The smack echoed in Hayner's ears as his head was thrown to the side, his heart hurting infinitely more than the stinging on his cheek. She attacked him, clawing at him, and he struggled to shove her off as her fingernails bit into his flesh harshly, leaving angry red welts.
Suddenly there was shouting from the doorway, and people were rushing in all around him. Hayner was lost in the stampede of doctors and nurses, lost in the his mother's cries and the collected yells of the doctors.
“She's gone off again-”
“-get the Ativan-”
“-restrained again-”
But Hayner wasn't hearing any of it. All her could hear in his mind were the words, over and over and over.
“I don't want you...”
As Hayner walked out of the room, he was numb.
A split second later, he felt his world shatter around him.
His own heart plummeted with feelings of betrayal and abandonment, his gut wrenching in undeniable anguish as his entire body constricted in distress. His face contorted in pain, and he felt physically ill at the fresh memory of his mother falling apart, again – and there was nothing he could do.
And this... what had happened in there... was so much worse.
She had recognized him for who he was.
But she didn't want him.
Some people say that the opposite of love is hate... But at the moment, with the rejection evident from his mother's actions, Hayner was sure he'd never felt so unloved in his entire life.
The tears that had wanted to fall so desperately retreated behind his eyes; this was a pain beyond anything that crying could ever hope to heal.
Hayner collapsed onto a bench outside of his mother's room, hearing but not listening to the screams as his mother was injected with some drug, sedated and soon to be put in restraints. He barely registered his father's hand on his shoulder.
When he did feel it, he snapped.
“I'm sick of this! I... I hate this!” he shouted, pounding his fists against the bench.
Before his father could answer, Hayner's mother called out, her voice becoming more subdued as she cried.
“Wyatt, Wyatt! Please... Wyatt...” she begged.
Hayner's father stiffened, his eyes showing evidence of the same heartbreak that was eating at Hayner's insides.
The door to his mother's room shut behind the doctors and nurses, and the cries stopped.
The squat, balding man approached them.
“She's been sedated,” he said, and then paused, unsure of how to continue. “I.. I'm terribly sorry. This reaction was not what we'd predicted. But know that you did nothing wrong, Hayner. It's just that she's -”
“Shut up,” Hayner ordered, glaring. “I don't want to hear it.”
Wyatt looked at the doctor sternly. “Please, if you'll leave me with my son for a bit. After I speak with him, I'd like to talk to you about Lavena's condition.”
Hayner marveled at how collected his father could sound in the face of the bedlam that had just taken place.
When those blood-shot blue eyes (the only evidence of his father's distress) turned on him, Hayner had to look away.
“Hayner... Son, are you okay?” he asked.
Hayner took a shakey breath. “No, Dad. I just...” he shook his head, bending in toward himself. “I don't know what's worse: when she's totally out of it, or when she knows me and... and doesn't want me.”
His father sat down next to Hayner, but not close enough to touch, knowing instinctively that a mixture of words and silence would mean more than a touch right now.
“I know, son. It hurts us both,” he gave a resigned sigh. “Trust me when I say I know how hard this is for you. But just remember, we're in this together. You're not alone. You've got me, always, and no matter what... I'm proud of you for being so strong.”
Hayner gave a soft, sad, bitter smile, still staring at the floor.
“I'm a lot weaker than you think, Dad.”
His father frowned.
“If we didn't have moments of weakness, Hayner, we'd never learn anything.”
Hayner closed his eyes, elbows on his knees as he rested his forehead against the heels of his hands.
“I know. I just wish I didn't have to deal with this... It's so unfair,” he opened his eyes, staring at nothing in particular. “Some kids lose their parents because they die, but I... I've lost my mom because she doesn't know me... Doesn't... want me.”
His father was quiet for a moment.
“Hayner, your mother will always love you, and... you and I both know she's still in there, somewhere.”
Hayner shook his head, tears threatening again as some of his numbness washed away against a fresh wave of pain. His fists tightened on the bench as he ground out, “She doesn't love me, Dad. She loves the idea of having a little kid,” his eyes searched the ground, as if looking for answers. “She told me she wants me to be innocent again,” his tone turned bitter. “And she knows I'm not innocent anymore.”
“Hayner,” his father started, his voice soft, having picked up on the underlying distress in his son's tone. “Losing your innocence – it's a part of learning who you are, growing up. You'll make mistake after mistake, but if you don't grow from what you learn from them, then you'll only lose yourself to grief. You'll just feel worse about whatever you've done.”
The words only worked to solidify the guilt in Hayner, the situation with Seifer suddenly weighing on his shoulders like never before. What kind of horrible person was he, to let himself go like that? God, what had he done, really? He'd totally lost any semblance of innocence he may have had left...
“I... Dad, I just need to be alone for a while,” he said.
“Hayner-”
“I'll be fine, I promise,” Hayner blurted before his father could say anything further. He had to get out of there now. He couldn't be in this place anymore.
Before his dad could even think of responding, Hayner stood and walked quickly down the hall, through the waiting room, and out into the street. He slowed his pace and breathed in deeply, trying to sort out all the painful thoughts that pumped through his mind like thickened blood.
His mother didn't want him. His own mother didn't want him.
And how could he blame her? He wasn't what she pictured him to be... He wasn't a little boy, and...
And god, he was far from innocent. Seriously, how could he consider himself innocent after all the fights? The way he spoke? The way he thought? And not to mention the sex, the lust, the shameful passion he felt for his rival and enemy.
'Of course she doesn't want me,' he thought bitterly. 'Look at what I fucking am!'
Before he knew it, rage was rampaging into his mind, overwhelming him with pain, confusion, and fury. He fell to the ground, teeth grit so hard that they threatened to crack against each other. He hit his clenched fists against the concrete of the sidewalk, not caring about the confused people who stood around him.
And he screamed.
He screamed, screamed with all the built up anger he felt with fate, with himself, with his mother, with Seifer, with his friends...
He breathed in deep and fast, eyes clenched shut, and opened his mouth, and screamed again, over and over, until someone snatched him up off of the sidewalk. Hayner immediately lashed out with his fists and feet, punching and kicking at whoever the fuck had the audacity to fuck with him at a time like this. He snarled like a dog gone mad, practically foaming at the mouth as he attacked again and again.
Hayner could see nothing, blinded by his storming emotions, and barely registered the blond head that whirled on him.
Nor did he see the punch aimed squarely for his gut. He did, however feel the connection.
'Fuck!'
He was shocked momentarily by the pain, and stopped fighting long enough to be dragged some ways down the road.
“What the fuck?!” he shouted.
“You're making a scene, chicken-wuss. I had to stop you somehow,” Seifer said, frowning. Hayner could feel the underlying scorn in Seifer's tone. Hayner planted his feet and tried struggling out of the grasp that the other boy had on him, but Seifer held fast.
“Let me the fuck go! Asshole! You have no fucking idea, you have no FUCKING IDEA!” Hayner growled, yanking as hard as he could and finally escaping the hold. But before he could even turn, Seifer had grabbed his arm and put Hayner in a head lock.
“Shut up!” the blue eyed boy snarled. “I don't know what the hell's wrong with you, but you're going the fuck home, right now!” he calmed for a moment before biting out, “Where's your dad?”
Hayner growled, before a sudden tiredness slightly pushed its way through his anger. “He's at the fucking hospital, okay!” he snapped back.
Seifer scowled. “And he let you leave like this?! What the hell kind of parent is he, anyway?!”
Hayner felt the anger bubble up inside him again.
“He's a hell of a lot better than having you around,” Hayner tried to break the head lock, and failed. “But don't you dare insult my family! Don't you think you've gotten enough sick pleasure out of taunting me about-” Hayner stopped suddenly, slumping.
Seifer released him, but quickly grabbed his arm.
“You need to shut up," he repeated. "We're getting out of here, and you're going to calm the fuck down.”
Lost again in painful thoughts, Hayner let himself be manhandled down the road for two blocks, before they got on the train in silence. The brown eyed boy's expression never changed from something deeply sad; there were no words to describe that look.
Hayner was partially grateful to Seifer at the moment, because he was just now realizing that having a mental breakdown in the middle of the street was probably not the best idea he'd ever had. He was now looking forward to getting to his bedroom, finding those over the counter sleep pills, taking four and passing out for two days.
His plans were ruined as Seifer rammed the door open to his own apartment, totally bypassing Hayner's. He threw the smaller boy into the apartment before slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.
'God dammit!' Hayner thought, immediately pissed. He glared hard at Seifer.
“What do you want now?” he demanded coldly. “I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with this.”
“Get over your mood, then,” Seifer said, shoving Hayner down on the couch. “You need to calm down, and I'm not leaving you alone when you're like this.”
Hayner exploded quietly inside himself.
“And what the fuck do you know about it, huh?!” his fists clenched as his eyes narrowed at Seifer. “How could you possibly have any idea?!”
Seifer sighed, taking off his beanie and running a hand through his hair as he sat down on the coffee table in front Hayner. Those blue eyes stared fixedly into Hayner's.
“I don't really know anything,” he said quietly, voice hard. “But you can't go screaming your head off in the middle of the road. You made a total ass of yourself.”
“I'll do whatever the fuck I want,” Hayner hissed back, looking away sharply. “It's not like what I do matters anyway.”
“Quit talking like that,” Seifer growled out. “This isn't like you. You're better than this, you halfwit.”
“Well just what the hell am I supposed to do, asshole?! My own fucking mother doesn't want me!” Hayner bit back, bitter. “How could you know what that's like, how could you ever even know anything about me?! You don't know me, so just leave me the fuck alone!”
Hayner stood and attempted to brush past Seifer, intent on getting the hell out of there and crawling into his room to break. But before he could even take a step, Seifer shoved him back down on the couch and straddled his lap, pinning his arms down beside him.
Hayner looked into those furious blue eyes and glared defiantly, even as his heart began to pound. Seifer's proximity had the effect it always did; Hayner was blushing, the scent of the other boy bringing back memories of their bodies intertwined. He could feel the drowning sensation washing over him all over again.
“No, I do know you,” he said after a moment. “You're not like this, you're stronger than this. That whole thing is fucked up, and you hate it,” his eyes searched Hayner's. “That may not be much, but I do know that about you.”
Those same eyes dropped to a vulnerable mouth, and Hayner was struck with a distinct sense of deja vu.
But this time it was Hayner's mouth that rose to meet Seifer's, his lips seeking an angry kiss, a way to vent all the rioting emotions that had been pent up within him. He bit at the other boy's lips, tongue taking the plunge into that warm, wet mouth that he'd grown to know so well.
Seifer was having none of it. He shoved the other blond back into the couch, and leaned down to kiss him, capturing his lips in a kiss that was tender, yet far from chaste.
When Hayner tried to deepen their kiss, Seifer pulled back. Every time that Hayner nipped at the other boy's lips, Seifer retreated and retaliated by licking gently at Hayner's own. When Hayner managed to unpin his arms, he scratched harshly at Seifer's back; the blond only responded by cupping Hayner's head in his hands and kissing him more fervently.
Hayner was furious. He was frustrated, and he wanted to take out all of his aggression on the boy in front of him, yet apparently he wasn't even fucking allowed that. Seifer refused to cooperate, refused to be rough with him, and Hayner had reached breaking point.
He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.
But all he could do was let go, clench his eyes shut, and kiss Seifer until everything melted away into the heat that was coiling in his body. If he wasn't innocent anymore, then fuck it. Seifer was offering him a way to get out of his own head, even if only for a moment.
And all Hayner wanted was to escape.
Even if he was simply running from his problems again, right now... he just didn't care.
Hayner's arms came up and around Seifer's back, pulling the other boy as close as possible as his fingers dug into Seifer's sides, squeezing harshly. He needed the contact, needed to feel wanted by somebody. And the body above him was warm and willing, the mind inside wanting this just as much as he did.
He lost himself to passion, completely submitting to his emotions and kissing Seifer for all he was worth. Seifer's lips were soft and firm against his own, that tongue gently stroking against his. The sounds of their lips smacking together as they came together and pulled apart ignited the fire that Hayner felt inside of him each time they did this; desire came rushing through him like a wild stampede.
In the back of his mind, Hayner had to wonder why it was this person, of all people, who could make him lose control like this.
Hayner felt Seifer slide off him, and he clutched angrily at his back, attempting to keep him right there in his lap. Seifer only pried his arms off of him, standing and pulling Hayner up with him. The moment he was on his feet, Hayner found himself being kissed again, and never one to be outdone, he kissed back with equal fervor.
At that moment, as Seifer backed Hayner slowly down a hallway, kissing him all the while, something clicked in the part of Hayner's mind that wasn't clouded by lust and a whirlwind of feeling.
They were matched. They were equal.
In everything they did, they attempted to dominate the other, neither one ever really succeeding. They fought regardless of what the circumstance was. Sexually, Hayner had forced Seifer on his knees, and Seifer had tricked his way inside of Hayner. Physically, they'd beaten the hell out of each other time and time again, matched blow for blow. Psychologically, they'd fucked with each other and fought verbal battles that in the end came back to blows.
So whatever this was, whatever kind of fucked up attraction they had for each other, at least Hayner finally understood one thing about it.
Seifer was his equal.
He didn't know if that was supposed to make him feel better about fucking the other boy, but the thought was gone as soon as Seifer pushed him down onto a bed, nipping his neck and soothing the bites with a playful tongue.
“Don't – ah! Leave any... marks, you...!” Hayner tried, but his next words never left his mouth as it became preoccupied with Seifer's. Hayner guessed it was to shut him up, but again he found he just didn't give a fuck.
All that mattered right now was that Seifer didn't stop.
Hands reached under Hayner's shirt, fingers ghosting across his nipples as Seifer lifted the shirt up over his head. Those same hands gently pushed Hayner down onto his back, stroking his sides lightly as they worked their way down his body. Seifer's tongue played with his nipples, harshly biting and then soothing with kisses. Lips and a tongue were following the path the hands had made, kissing and licking slowly down Hayner's abdomen.
Seifer's mouth was sucking on his lower stomach, but his eyes were locked with Hayner's. The brown eyed boy sat up on his ebows, panting, nearly writhing under Seifer as he watched the erotic display before him.
Seifer's breath came in short, quick bursts as he pulled away from Hayner, blue eyes never leaving brown. His hands worked the button on Hayner's jeans apart, and pulled the zipper down.
There was an awkward moment as he was pulling the pants and boxers down Hayner's legs; they'd both forgotten about the shoes, and Hayner almost hit Seifer in the face in his hurry to toe them off and get his pants the rest of the way down.
Seifer apparently didn't think anything of it, simply pushing Hayner back down and spreading his legs, kneeling between them and leaning down to run his tongue from the base of Hayner's arousal to the tip.
“Ah-! Fuck!” Hayner cried, his hips bucking up toward that mouth, his eyes closed tightly against the onslaught of pleasure. Seifer took him in fully then, and when Hayner opened his eyes, he once again met those of his rival.
Seifer watched him intently as he moved his head slowly up and down, sucking lightly as he slid up before working his tongue in wicked circles over the head.
This was different from last time. Last time it had been about power, about who could win.
Hayner didn't know what this was about.
He didn't want to know.
He didn't want to think about it.
He didn't want to think at all.
So instead he watched through hooded eyes, his breathing harsh as Seifer tortured him mercilessly, holding his hips down and going at a pace so slow Hayner thought he might die. Every time Hayner felt himself starting to come, Seifer would pause, continuing only after a moment had passed.
Hayner grunted his frustration and moaned, nearly pleading with Seifer to god, let him come! But he wasn't one to beg, never had been, and so could only fist his hands in Seifer's light blond hair, attempting to make the other boy finish him.
It was an eternity later when Seifer finally moved his eyes from Hayner's, going to work at him full-force, up and down, sliding his wet, hot mouth along his length over and over, and Hayner could feel it, boiling in him, under the surface, right there-!
With a mortifying moan, Hayner came, his voice catching in his throat at the force of his orgasm. His body fell limp back on the bed, reeling from the intensity of his come down as Seifer continued sucking on his drained sex.
He barely even registered the kisses that came after, dusting their way up to his face, finally coming to a halt with a deep, demanding press of lips against lips.
Hayner opened his mouth to the kiss, his mind a total blank, feeling at ease for the first time since he'd gotten up that morning.
He only became half-aware of his surroundings once more when Seifer pulled away.
The other boy got up, milling around his room for a moment, and Hayner ignored him in favor of catching his breath and pulling himself together, trying to calm the subtle shivers dancing through him. It wasn't until he felt cloth touch his skin that he figured out that Seifer had been gathering his clothes. He'd tossed them on top of Hayner's bare chest, then walked into his bathroom, shutting the door.
Hayner sat up, confused.
Because, well, the last time, after that had happened... Some other things had happened.
... Were they not going to happen again?
Before Hayner could mull over this question too much (much less get dressed), Seifer walked back in, running a hand through his hair and glancing at the naked boy on his bed.
“Well? Get dressed, punk,” he said simply.
Hayner nodded once, pulling his pants on quickly before struggling with getting his shirt over his head. He fumbled for something to say as he put his shoes back on, not daring to look up at the eyes he could feel burning into him.
“Um,” he started, standing up and staring at the floor with a frown. He breathed out, and gathered his courage. “What about... uh...”
“It's nothing.” Seifer interrupted, crossing in front of Hayner to his door. He rested his hand on the doorknob, before turning slightly. “C'mon. Your dad will be home soon, and he'll freak if you're not there.”
'What the fuck?' Hayner thought, frown still marring his features.
Seifer was silent as he walked Hayner to his door. The brown eyed boy pulled out his keys and opened it, and when he turned around Seifer was halfway back to his apartment.
The words to stop him died in his throat.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Crowded Elevator