Shepard Finds Her Soul Mate | By : KTT2123 Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 5865 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect nor its characters. I am making no money from this. |
Shepard decides to have a vid night for the crew so they have a chance to decompress. The vid is set up in the starboard observation room. Almost everyone who isn’t working is in attendance, every available space is filled. Shepard is the last to arrive. Surprised at how many are there, she looks around for a place to sit. Not seeing a single space, she turns to leave.
*I think they need a little push,* Kelly reasons. “Commander, you could sit with Garrus,” Chambers suggests. Lily narrows her eyes, while the Yeoman just blinks innocently. It’s obvious to everyone in the room exactly what she means. Dr. Chakwas marvels at young redhead’s audacity. Every single eye flicks to Garrus before settling on Shepard. Everyone holds their breath, eagerly awaiting her response.
After the incident in the mess hall, Shepard had scared the crew so much that no one had even dared to risk her wrath enough to even question or tease Garrus about spending the night with her after Horizon. Shockingly, they had left Garrus completely alone, fearing Shepard would hear about it from him. Not that that stopped them from gossiping. The group is practically salivating for any indication of what really happened that night. Especially considering how the two have been behaving the last several days. On the Normandy, they have actively avoided each other and when they did meet, they both acted awkward and overly polite. Despite this, Garrus continued to go on every mission with Shepard. It’s the only time they hadn’t been acting weird, lately.
Lily glances at Garrus, trying to gauge his reaction. It is the first time they’ve seen each other since talking about Kaidan’s message. Garrus simply tilts his head, as if offering her a challenge. Never one to back down from a challenge, she is unable to refuse. Shepard walks toward the turian, never breaking his gaze. Standing in front of his chair, Lily questioningly arches an eyebrow. He lifts his hand, silently giving her permission. Sitting on his lap, Shepard squirms a bit to make herself more comfortable. She’s thankful he’s out of armor for once or this would be incredibly uncomfortable. Secretly, Lily is quite surprised at how good it feels to be this close to Garrus, her ass straddling one of his legs and her back resting against his chest, and his familiar scent enveloping her. She feels comfortable and relaxed and safe. It is definitely not a feeling Lily is used to. In fact, she cannot remember the last time she’s felt like this. Maybe back when she was a young child, still young enough to sit on her daddy’s lap and feel his strength and love protecting her? It feels like a lifetime ago, several in fact.
Dead silence fills the room. All eyes stare intently at the couple, most of them with their mouths gaping open. Clearly no one except the Yeoman thought Shepard would actually sit on Garrus’ lap. Kelly looks utterly smug. Breaking the silence, the Commander asks dryly, “So, are we watching this vid or not?” Nervous chuckling is the only reply…
Finally, Chambers calmly gets up as if nothing scandalous has happened and starts the vid. For the first hour, Shepard and Garrus can feel the heated pressure of the repeated glances thrown their way from the others in the room. Neither of them reacts to the attention.
Midway through the vid, Lily shifts in his lap to curl her body against his and Garrus almost falls off his chair in shock. She confidently pillows her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. Lily’s bent knees are resting against his side. A surprised noise hums out from his subvocals, one so low that human ears cannot hear it but he’s sure Shepard can feel the vibration as she buries her nose against his throat.
Garrus has a sudden realization, a blinding flash of insight into exactly how much he trusts her. The neck is a very vulnerable spot on a turian, and exposing it to someone is a sign of absolute trust. Any turian would be able to see how telling his acceptance of her touching his neck is. Yet when he should feel fear, he instead feels completely comfortable, not for an instant feeling an ounce of fear or distress. In turians, this level of trust is almost exclusively found in bond-mates and family. This realization is like a shot to the heart. Garrus trusts Lily more than any person he has ever known, including his own mother and sister. He trusts her as much as he would a true bond-mate.
Soon enough her breathing evens out and her body completely relaxes. For the first time in a very long time, Lily feels secure enough to sleep in a crowded room. Since Mindoir, it has been difficult for her to fully relax and sleep well with others in the room.
In basic training, she slept with a very sharp knife in her hands. It was the only way she could feel safe enough to sleep in a crowded room. She had warned her bunkmates to never approach her while she was sleeping. It only took once for her warning to be properly heeded when a fellow soldier touched her arm while Shepard was sleeping. She went from sleeping to wide awake, her knife tight against the other soldier’s neck. After that, no one touched her while she slept.
But she feels no fear here because she has no doubt that Garrus will watch over and protect her while she sleeps. Shepard trusts him as she has no other since her family’s deaths. Vakarian has tentatively wrapped his arms around her to cradle her body securely against his as she sleeps. He is utterly flabbergasted that Shepard is contently sleeping against him in front of everyone.
The fact that Shepard is curled up asleep, happily snuggled in Garrus’ arms and looking very relaxed and peaceful is not missed by a single person in the room. It is known throughout the ship how much nightmares have been bothering their commander. The dark circles under her eyes that never seem to go away are evidence enough. Lily sleeping peacefully for once is extremely telling. Chakwas and Joker know more than anyone else the significance of this. Both Anderson and Shepard had warned the first Normandy’s crew about not touching her while asleep when she had been his XO. Again, it only took one time before everyone took her warning seriously. All it took was a broken nose and a wickedly sharp knife to the throat of Pressley, who never again forgot her warning. Once the Normandy became hers, the crew made sure to warn every new member of just how violent her reaction would be. While the Normandy SR-2 crew had been warned, none had seen evidence of such an encounter. It is just stories to them, while Joker and Chakwas had actually seen Pressley’s broken nose. The significance of Lily’s trust in Vakarian is very apparent to the pilot and the doctor.
Inside Garrus is just as surprised as the rest of them, not that he allows anyone to see. This is more significant than her sleeping in his arms in the safety of her cabin. He knows it and so does everyone else in the room. Most are openly staring at them, once again. None of them have ever seen Shepard look as vulnerable and soft as she does sleeping against the turian. Shepard is a lot of things but vulnerable and soft aren’t usually one of them. And they can all see she is fully relaxed, not something any of them are used to seeing either. Even aboard the Normandy her body always seems to have a line of tension, as if she is constantly prepared for an attack. Seeing her completely without that tension is shocking and all are thinking of what that says about how the Commander feels about Garrus, the trust she has in him. Even more surprising is how small she looks in his arms. The crew is baffled, so used to seeing her as the larger than life war hero, their fearless leader who has conquered death, literally. Seeing the human being behind that image, the diminutive woman underneath is a bit astounding.
Unobtrusively, Kelly takes several photos of Lily sleeping against her turian. She’ll keep them to herself until the pair stops tip-toeing around each other and finally get together. The redhead has no doubts that they will and that once that happens nothing will keep them apart. Despite their differences they fit together perfectly, like two oddly shaped puzzle pieces, made for each other. Soul mates.
Shepard’s behavior, her show of absolute trust, has only fed the flames of their rumored relationship like wildfire, whether it was intentional or not. Garrus realizes there is no possible way of stopping the gossip now. No one will ever believe either of them if they denied there was something going on between them. Not with Shepard sleeping peacefully, snug in his arms… Frankly, even he wouldn’t believe it. They have always had a close relationship but this is new and definitely uncharacteristic behavior.
When the vid finally ends, Vakarian waits until almost everyone has left before standing up, easily lifting Lily in his arms. A soft whimper escapes her lips before she snuggles closer and falls silent. Garrus can feel her steady breath against his bare neck. He carefully carries her to the elevator. Just as the door begins to close, Kelly sneaks in. “Mr. Vakarian…Garrus. I believe there is something you need to know.”
The turian studies the human, remembering how surprised he had been when Shepard told him what Chambers had said about him, something about her wanting to hug him close. He recalls thinking *What a strange notion. I’ve never had a human attracted to me or want to comfort me before. Is it the scars?* He wonders what she thinks is so important. Holding the still sleeping Shepard more securely, Garrus asks “Can this wait until later?”
“Trust me, you’ll want to hear this,” Chambers vows. Vakarian sighs wearily but nods.
Glancing at Shepard, Kelly announces “She trusts you more than anyone else. Do you realize that?”
Confused, Garrus stares at Kelly. *This is what she had to tell me?*
“After what happened to her on Mindoir…on Elysium…” Her voice deepens, and she whispers “On Horizon.”
Garrus lets his gaze run over Shepard’s sleeping face. She has a look of peace no longer seen while his friend is awake after what happened on Horizon. The betrayal has scarred her deeply, more than most realize. Not because they had been lovers but because she had trusted him. The crew has caught glimpses of her anger but Lily’s anger is only a mask hiding the pain underneath, of being betrayed by someone she had trusted explicitly. To have someone doubt everything that makes Shepard Shepard. Only he knows and has seen how much it truly had hurt her. Lily had been hurt enough that she had actually doubted herself, doubted that she is doing the right thing. Shepard is all confidence, conviction, and certainty. For her normally absolute confidence to be shaken says just how much Kaidan’s words had hurt her.
“After all she has seen, all she has faced, after what Kaidan Alenko did. Trust is vital to her. Yet, her trust, it is harder to earn and much harder for her to give after Horizon,” Chambers continues. “But she trusts you, without a doubt, without question. She trusts you more than you realize, more than even she realizes. Shepard would never have trusted anyone else enough to expose her back, a vulnerable position for any soldier who has faced death as many times as she has, especially since she doesn’t fully trust most of us yet. But she willingly did that, without thought, without hesitation, during the vid because it was you, because of how much she trusts you. Not only that, she fell asleep in your arms, in a room filled with people. There is a reason none of the crew has ever seen her asleep. Do you even realize how much she has to trust you to do so? To let down her guard enough to fall asleep against you, surrounded by others? To not react defensively and violently at your touch while she slept but to welcome it? She recognized your touch in her sleep, knew that even at her most vulnerable she could trust you to keep her safe. And I’d say it is pretty safe to assume, this isn’t the first time she’s slept in your arms, either.”
Garrus can see that Chambers has obviously ignored the gossip, coming to her own, correct, conclusion of what had happened the night Garrus spent with Shepard. *Maybe our little act, that turned into more is why she is so sure we didn’t do anything that night.*
The redhead continues, “She would trust no one but you enough to do so. Because she trusts you enough to let down her guard, believes you would protect her from any threat. She trusts you to not take advantage of her vulnerability or let anyone else do so. Only you Garrus. She has not trusted anyone that much since before Mindoir,” Kelly vehemently promises. She knows more than most about Shepard, her past, and her psychological issues and health. It’s her job to know. “You are aware that Shepard’s ploy to authenticate the crew’s suspicions that you two were intimate, through me, was unsuccessful. But do you know why it wasn’t?”
Garrus slowly shakes his head.
“Because underneath the act, it was apparent neither of you were pretending.”
The turian makes a sound of disbelief.
Kelly shoots him a haughty look. “Don’t try to deny it. It may have started out fake but that didn’t last long, did it? That is why I did not say anything. Think on that.”
Deep in thought, Garrus does not notice when the elevator reaches Shepard’s quarters. He stands there dumbfounded for several minutes before Kelly clears her throat. Garrus jumps, “Uh…I guess I better put Shepard to bed.” The turian gingerly carries the Commander to her quarters, as if she is more precious than life itself. Perhaps to him, she is.
Chambers watches him leave thinking *She looks like she belongs there, in his arms. I wonder how long it will take for them to realize that.*
Still staggered by all that the redheaded human has said and by what he, himself, had realized, Garrus numbly walks toward Shepard’s bed. That night after the Horizon, he had known she trusted him but had not really given it anymore thought. He hadn’t allowed himself to ponder what her willingness to fall asleep against him really meant. Kelly made him really consider things, to think about the strength of Lily’s trust in him and what that really means.
Vakarian remembers an early mission during their pursuit of Saren on the Normandy SR-1. They had been trapped for over 48 hours before the crew had been able to find them and get them out. Not once during that time did Lily sleep, despite how exhausted she had been. Her biotics had consumed a lot of her energy. Yet, Shepard had refused to sleep. She wedged herself in a corner and clutched her shotgun as if her life depended on it. At the time, he thought she felt responsible as their commander to watch over them. But now, it is easy to see that Lily stayed awake because she hadn’t felt safe enough to sleep, hadn’t trusted them enough to let down her guard. Yet, Shepard does trust him enough now. Not only in the safety of her cabin but also surrounded by a crew she does not yet fully trust. That says a lot to him. She trusts him without reservation. He’s never seen her gift anyone the level of trust she gives to him.
He considers how she sees him, feels about him now. Garrus thinks about what happened in the battery. How pretending had revealed his true feelings and had indicated that she also might have genuine feelings for him as well.
Gently, he lays her down on the bed and tugs off her soft shoes. Pulling down the covers, Garrus shifts Shepard before tucking the blankets carefully around her. Marveling at the trusting peace on her sleeping face, he caresses her cheek, enjoying the soft, smooth texture of her skin, so unlike a turian’s. Briefly stirring, Lily sleepily murmurs Garrus’ name. In disbelief, he freezes with his hand on her face. *She said…she said my name in her sleep! What does that mean? Is she dreaming about me? Does she know that it is me touching her?* Garrus carefully runs his talons through her hair, enjoying the strange silky texture. Tucking a strand behind her ear, he flutters his mandibles in a tender smile. Then, silently shuffles away from the bed, glancing at Shepard one last time, he leaves the room.
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