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Impure Thoughts	By : Lisachan Category: Zelda > Het - Male/Female Views: 7784 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda or its characters, no profit is being made from this.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Author’s Note: Yes, life without birth control, it must’ve been hard. But, help is on its way. It’s Purah to the rescue. I’ve you’ve read ‘The Love Life Of A Hero’, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s the return of the yellowish flappy thingy.
Read it here: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091245
Chapter 7: In Link’s Bed

They’d given the soldiers a bit of time before they would leave. Some of them already had sweethearts too. In the mean time, Link and Cassian were loitering around at the stables, tending to their horses, and grasping this opportunity for some good old man talk.
Cassian stretched his arms above his head, still hungover from the day before. Only a bit. “Yesterday was so much fun! Just what I needed,” he groaned.
Link squinted against the deep orange glare of the upcoming sun. “It was, yes,” he agreed, though he didn’t sound very happy.
“You know,” Cassian said, picking up on Link’s sulkiness, “some of the soldiers like it up the ass.”
Link ducked down so he could see Cassian under Epona’s head, making sure he had interpreted that right. Shockingly, he had. “Are you suggesting that...”
“You know...” Cassian said, pulling up his shoulders. “Desperate times, desperate measures.”
“No, thank you!” He continued brushing Epona a little more briskly than was perhaps needed. The gall! Cassian swung round to his side and slung his arm around Link.
“Lighten up, Link buddy. I’ll take good care of your Queen.”
Link sighed, letting his arms fall limply alongside his body. “It’s not that. Do you even know why we have to go on this training camp? It’s because she doesn’t want to have me around for the next week. She doesn’t want to be tempted to have sex with me. She’s oluvating, and she’s worried she might get pregnant.”
Cassian couldn’t help but snort. “Pregnant? From you? Whohaha! You can’t even grow a beard yet!” With roaring laughter, he slapped Link on the back. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve heard tales of a race who aren’t even allowed to have sex before marriage at all.”
“What? That’s insane! Where is that?”
“I really can’t say, somewhere very far away, I hope.” He resumed the grooming of his and Zelda’s horse. “But no, all joking aside, I hear ya. My woman sometimes is acting up too, once a month. I know it can be tough, but it’s just nature, you know. If you don’t want to be stuck with a kid right away, you just have to endure it.” Clearly not realising how he was adding insult to injury, he then went on to ask Link for a favour, although he suspected that the chances of Link agreeing to it were quite slim. “Say Link,” he said, once again abandoning the horses, “while you’re away, you mind if I take a ride on that fancy motorcycle of yours?”
Link pointed his brush to Cassian like a weapon. “You touch my Master Cycle Zero, you’re a dead man.”
“Aw, come on. Can’t leave her standing there all week, gathering dust. You have to keep her spinning.”
“Do you have any idea what kind of trials I had to go through to obtain her? I didn’t get her just bhy snapping my fingers, you know. What if you break her? I can’t go back to the Sage, to ask for a new one. She’s one of a kind, irreplaceable. So the answer is no.”
Cassian bravely persisted. “I wouldn’t go far, just a couple of laps around the courtyard. You have to admit that you have to keep the engine warm, have to keep the oils circulating. Just like a woman, you know.”
“Yes, the same as how you cannot touch a women for a week, apparently.” He angrily plucked hair out of the brush.
“Oh come on Link, please?”
Link groaned, raising his eyes to the Heavens. It seemed like there was only one way to shut him up and to get him – quite literally – off his back. “Yeah, alright.”
Cassian’s eyes lit up, and he hopefully clutched his brush against his chest. “Really?”
“Under Zelda’s supervision,” Link said, moving to put the brush away and get Epona’s equipment. “But I swear, if I find so much as a scratch on her. Just the tiniest scratch...”
“That won’t happen, I promise,” Cassian grinned, happily prancing along next to him.
“By the way, when you go to Hateno village today...”
“Cassian, dear!”
“Liselle!” Cassian shouted.
“Hm?” Liselle slightly wondered why he had sounded so appalled. She looked from on to the other, looking mildly surprised when she noticed how she had draped herself around Link instead of Cassian. “Oops, wrong one! Sorry. It was hard to tell from behind.”
“Wrong one, my ass,” Cassian scoffed. “Can’t you see that my back is broader?”
“I had the sun in my eyes,” Liselle quipped, casually pulling up her shoulders. “Aaanyway, Zelda wants to see you.”
Both men looked at her, not really sure who she was talking to. She was looking at Cassian.
“Me?” Cassian said, pointing at himself.
“Yes, you.”
Link murmured unimportant stuff to Epona while she made little noises of excitement as he was harnessing her. Unlike him, she was looking forward to this outing. “What did she want?” He asked, when he heard Cassian’s footsteps behind him.
“Well...”
Link’s eyes widened when he’d turned around. He was wearing his Hylian armour. “That’s one of my outfits! Why are you wearing that?”
“You see, this way she can still pretend that you’re around. She said she won’t miss you as badly then. A bit tight for me, though.”
“I might as well just stay here then!”
“Well, no, that’s the point. With me, she’s not allowed to have sex.”
Link sighed. Women! “Okay, what I still meant to say: take Boy with you today. He loves it there. You know, having lived there with me for all this time.”
“Oh sure. He’ll love to stretch his legs too.”

Zelda sighed at her own stupidity. This had been a stupid idea. She scuffed her foot at some dirt while they were standing at the towns gate, cursing her ridiculous whims. The thought of being separated from Link for an entire week almost brought tears to her eyes. It was too late now. They were all standing gathered there, Link and the soldiers ready to leave, and Zelda ready to say goodbye. Changing plans, and telling everyone that the whole thing was cancelled now that they were all riled up and ready to go would be even more ridiculous. Some of the soldier looked frustrated – the ones with the sweethearts – some looked excited, perhaps even looking forward to get friendly with some Gerudo girls.
She was aware how she wouldn’t be able to send him away every month. But within a couple of weeks, maybe the novelty of their relationship would have worn off, and they would no longer feel the need to go at it 24/7.
Maybe not.
Probably not.
Whatever. She’d deal with it then.
As they were headed for the Gerudo’s, Riju and Buliara would accompany Link’s caravan. “Thank you for opening your city to such a great amount of men,” Zelda said to Riju. “I know it is difficult in your culture.”
“Times have changed, we have to move along,” Riju smiled. “But make no mistake, those who fail to show respect shall be disciplined.”
“As they should be.”
Behind her, their other sleepovers, who were also about ready to leave, had gathered, talking amongst themselves. They had amply thanked her, and Zelda too had enjoyed it thoroughly. When she was still a child, things like that had never been allowed. They’d agreed to do this again very soon. Before, she’d also had a little moment with Terrako, who would continue honing his skills all over the Kingdom. It had been teary as they’d said their goodbye’s, at least from Zelda’s side, but Zelda was sure that Terrako had been crying on the inside too.
For some reason, Lisanne was there too with her husband and baby. “The people from over at the Tipsy Deity send you their love,” she said to Link, winking. “You know, Ilka, Lilia, Ansje...”
Zelda’s mouth fell open. Those were all female names! She turned to Link with eyes that demanded an explanation.
“I’ve travelled around, I’ve met people,” Link simply shrugged. “The Tipsy Deity is an inn I've frequented quite often.”
“I can see why!”
“Yes, nice people,” Lisanne nodded. “But also great food and...”
“Not too expensive,” Liselle chimed in.
Link pointed at them by way of agreement. “Yes, all that. And great beds.”
Cassian coughed quite loudly behind his hand, noticing how Zelda was turning more and more shocked next to him. “Okay, I think it’s about time you go.”
“Great beds, he said,” Zelda said breathlessly to no one in particular. Liselle and Lisanne were giggling like mad. Buliara was sadly shaking her head, both for Zelda’s paranoia and Link’s lack of tact. Riju was also giggling.
“Oh, stop it,” Link scoffed. “I don’t want that look from someone who asks Cassian to dress up like me. I won’t have a fake you either.”
“That’s different.”
“How is that different?”
“You will have plenty of diversion. I won’t. Besides, it will make a good decoy for when we’re heading for Hateno village. Attackers might think twice about attacking us if they think I’m travelling with you.”
Cassian nodded his head, looking at Link with eyes that said ‘you got a reputation, mate’.
Link was not really convinced. “Nicely talked your way out of that, didn’t you?” he grumbled.
“Oh come on, love birds,” Liselle piped up, clapping her hands like a school teacher. Link couldn’t help but notice how she looked very pleased, the way Cassian looked even more like him now. “Let’s not part ways like this. Kiss and make up.”
Zelda and Link’s eyes sparked when they looked at each other, but it was with impatience for this week to be over, rather than anger. This quarrelling, it was all good-humouredly, they knew that. Just like that supposed punishment from the night before. All for fun. She gasped when he pulled her close, swallowing when he leaned in. Only a couple of days ago, he had told her how one of his fantasies was to kiss her in front of the soldiers. He was making it true now, going all out. And it wasn’t one sided. Zelda too put her heart and soul into it.
“Wooh! Every one, look away now,” Liselle chuckled.
“Pff, show off,” Cassian muttered.
Link pulled back when he felt Boy’s tail brushing against his leg, as if he subtly wanted to let him know that that was enough now.
Zelda inhaled sharply. “Now, get up on your horse, before I eat you up.”
“Kay.” His mouth had said that, but his feet didn’t move at all. It was only when Boy tugged at the hem of his tunic with his teeth – he too was anxious to leave for Hateno village – that he mounted his trusty steed. “So, Riju, Buliara, lead the way.”
Riju frowned. “You don’t know how to get there, mister I’ve-travelled-around?”
“Mostly, I teleported with my Sheikah Slate.”
“Why, Master Link, I am shocked. Are you so lazy?”
“I was kind of in a hurry to save the Kingdom.”
While they were leaving, Zelda could still hear part of their conversation. “I really ought to pay them a visit again, over at the Tipsy Deity,” she heard Link saying to Riju. “After this, we should all go have a drink there.”
“I hear ya,” Sidon grinned, who was walking part of the way with them.
“Don’t worry, your Majesty,” Teba said when he caught Zelda’s frustrated sigh. “I’ve been there too. Ilka’s married, Ansje is even more shy than Master Link was at the beginning, and Lilia… Well, she’s just crazy.”
At her other side, Liselle and Lisanne, yet holding her newborn, were fawning over Cassian. Lisanne’s husband and Zelda exchanged embarrassed glances.
“Do you think you get to keep that outfit for tonight?” Liselle asked sweetly to Cassian. “Zelda, can he?”
Zelda laughed softly. “Sure.”
“Just try not to scream out his name instead,” Cassian grumbled.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare!”

Zelda and Cassian walked at a leisurely pace. There was no need to rush. A fond smile appeared on her face when she thought about Impa and Purah. She looked forward to seeing them again. They’d been friends for such a long time now. Over these 100 years, whereas she and Link had been frozen in time, Impa and Purah had continued living. They had lived through the changes in this Kingdom, had seen things escalate, had tried to make things better again. It had shaped them to the persons they were today, and even though Zelda had become Queen now, she felt humble towards them. They were like grandparents to her. They too had come to love her like a granddaughter, especially Purah, who didn’t have children or grandchildren of her own. As such, they were not required to use formal speech when talking to her. In fact, Zelda preferred it when they talked to her in such a motherly way.
She looked around, enjoying the scenery and the local wildlife. Boy chasing some rodents. It was nice to be able to walk around again without Octoroks popping out of the ground or Lizalfosses dashing towards them. Or Wizzrobes launching electrics attacks at them, or Lynels charging…
Wait a minute.
“Cassian?”
“Yes?”
Zelda strained her eyes towards a clearing in the distance. Something was there, something big, with horns and a thick mane. She pointed her finger. “Look over there… That’s not…?” She steered her horse towards it. “But it is.”
“It’s a Lynel,” Cassian concluded.
“You say that like it’s the most normal thing in the world,” Zelda said. “How can this still be here?”
“Don’t be afraid, your Highness. Lynels are part of our local wildlife. The ones who have been attacking you and everyone else were just possessed by Ganon. While in fact, they’re not savage at all.”
“Really?”
“If that Lynel would be malicious, then the horses would feel it. But look how calm they are.”
Indeed, Zelda liked to believe that the natural instincts of animals could not be denied. Boy too was still happily frolicking around.
“Would you like to go closer?”
“Oh, I don’t know...” Zelda said slowly. They’d had so much trouble with those creatures in the past.
“Don’t worry, if he does attack, then I know how to fight him.” Cassian bravely spurred his horse in the Lynel’s direction.
Zelda still stayed behind a bit. “But then why weren’t the deers and the birds possessed?”
“Because they were not powerful enough, I suppose,” Cassian said, halting his horse and turning back her way. “Ganon had the power to choose whoever he put under his spell. You know, legend has it that one time, there was a battle where he even possessed the Princess.”
“What, me? I’m mean, my ancestor?”
“Hm-hm.”
“That is so cruel, how dare he!”
“It’s to be expected of Ganon that he would stoop so low. He would stop at nothing to gain control.”
“How did it turn out?”
“Link broke the spell, of course.”
Convinced now, she too started to inch closer. “Careful, thought,” Cassian whispered. “If we would startle him, he might see it as a threat and attack us after all.”
“I wonder if he we can lure him,” Zelda said. Making kissing noises, like one would do to lure a cat, would be quite ridiculous, she supposed, perhaps downright offending to a Lynel. She grimaced. No, not suiting a Lynel at all.
When they were finally in front of it, even Cassian gasped at the impressive height of the beast. Next to him, the horses looked like foals. If the Lynel would charge at them now… they would never be fast enough. Zelda felt herself going a bit rigid when he looked their way. But as he couldn’t sense any malicious intentions from them, he just went on minding his own business. Boy even went so far as to play with his tail. The Lynel grunted and turned around.
“Boy, stop it,” Zelda hissed. “Do you have a death wish?”
To both their surprise, the Lynel kept his steps light while he faced Boy. Unfazed, Boy barked and ran behind the Lynel, again going for his tail. They could not believe their eyes. The Lynel turned again, but didn’t show any signs of aggression.
“Are they… playing?” Zelda said.
Cassian scratched his hair. “I believe they might be.”
Zelda let out a little laugh of wonder. “How amazing. We’ve slayed so many of them in the past. Looking at how docile this one is now, it makes me feel so sorry about it.”
“It was them or you, back then. Kill or be killed.”
After all those years of misery, it was weird to see a Lynel who wanted to play, instead of one that was looking to impale them on his horns.
When they arrived at Hateno village, Boy made a beeline for Link’s house, as if he wanted to show where they’d been living up till now. He gave a little bark and excitedly spun around on the spot, then he proceeded to give them a little sort of tour around the garden. A little feeling of nostalgia crept over Zelda. She could imagine Link cleaning game here, then cooking it above the fire. Collecting apples in the fall, and turning them into pie. She heaved a little sigh. If she’d have been a normal girl, she would’ve loved to have built a life here together with him and Boy. The simple life.
They secured the horses on the horse stand, and continued their way on foot. They could hardly keep up with Boy when they headed for the East Wind. She could already see her from afar, that Ivee girl, with her broomstick in hand, sweeping in front of the door. What a sorry way to spend her days.
Ivee’s eyes sparked when she saw Boy running towards her. Not only because she was happy to see Boy, Zelda guessed, but also because she knew that, if Boy was here, Link must’ve been there too. She looked their way and raised her hand to greet him, but then she noticed that it was someone else. “You’re not Link,” she stated.
“No, that’s Cassian,” Zelda said. “After Link, he’s my best soldier.” It was only when she spoke that Ivee seemed to notice who was in front of her. Which kinda made sense to Zelda, because Link used to live here and she… didn’t. Ivee looked at her as if she’d suddenly grown dreadlocks.
“Why Queen Zelda, do forgive me, but in all fairness, you are the last person who I would’ve thought would visit our shop,” she said.
Zelda smiled quite humourlessly. “Yes, I can see that.”
“So, if he’s not Link, then where is Link?”
Link. Not Master Link. Just Link. “Training camp.”
“Oh. Well, nice to meet you, Cassian. Yes, Boy, I see you.”
This time, there was a little amusement in the soft laugh that left Zelda’s mouth, but only for Boy’s antics while he was desperately trying to get Ivee’s attention by sinking his teeth into her broom and pulling it like mad. “Don’t get your hopes up though. He’s taken,” she said.
“Ah, that’s too bad.” Ivee abandoned her broom and wildly ruffled Boy’s coarse hair, which he adored. “Why is he dressed like Link?”
“That’s… not really important.”
“In any case, congratulations on your engagement.”
“Thank you.”
She reached out her hand towards Zelda’s, indicating that she was curious to see the ring. “May I…?”
For the first time since they had reached this shop, Zelda perked up. Now, that was something she was only too happy to flaunt. “Of course.” Extending her hand, she found this an excellent opportunity to convey Link’s message. “Link has asked me to say hi.”
“Aw, he’s such a darling, isn’t he?” With one hand still on Boy, Ivee took Zelda’s extended hand to take a close look. She let out a low whistle. “Loaded too, that guy. You don’t mind that he doesn’t talk all that much?”
Zelda drew her hand back, so she could put it on her chest in an offended manner. “Well, that’s a massive misconception. It’s true that he doesn’t like to engage in pointless chatter, but in private, he’s very vocal-- I mean talkative.” And even if he wouldn’t talk, they would speak the language of love. That is to say: sex. Lots of it. “If you don’t even know that he’s capable of having normal conversations, it must mean that you two aren’t really that close.”
“Oh, but between us two, there wasn’t really any need for words,” Ivee said with a saucy wink.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She had overseen Link’s journey. Nothing had happened between him and Ivee, other than her trying to lure him in. But Link had never taken the bait. Or had there been a moment where she hadn’t paid attention?
“Oh, don’t worry, your Highness. I’m just messing with ya.”
Zelda felt something unpleasant tickling in her gut. Such an uncivilized manner of speech! To a Queen! Before she could even react to that, someone swooped in. “Honestly your Highness, jealousy doesn’t suit you,” a voice said. A voice that had sounded… strangely familiar.
“It’s not...” Zelda started fiercely, but soon realised that that’s exactly what it was. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” Only now, she saw, to her utter shock, that it was Purah. Down here, out of the lab. “Purah! What are you doing down here?”
Ivee dared to step in again. “Ah, if you stay cooped up in your castle all day, you wouldn’t know that Purah leaves the lab nowadays.” She had said it with her usual bubbly face, but Zelda couldn’t deny the sneer in her voice.
Finally alerted by the ruckus, Ivee’s mother came rushing over. “Ivee! Know your place,” Amira bit, who as always had been gossiping nearby. Hearing her daughter’s audacious talk, she felt compelled to take responsibility. To Zelda, she did an overtly humble curtsy. “Please forgive her, your Highness, she knows not what she says.”
“It’s fine,” Zelda smiled meagrely. For good measure, she made sure to flash them her engagement ring again. Of course, Purah had noticed too. “Oh Zelda, dear, is that…? Your engagement ring?”
“Yes,” Zelda smiled warmly, thrusting out her hand a lot more eagerly now. “Link has proposed to me yesterday. I wanted to come tell you personally, because you wouldn’t leave the lab. But here you are. Oh, I wish you could’ve seen it.”
“Indeed I regret that I didn’t see it. But I did see your coronation.”
Zelda tilted her head, her mouth falling open a bit. What had this world come to? Playful Lynels, and Purah who didn’t only venture out of the lab, but also – get ready for this – the actual village. “Were you there?”
Purah let out a cute chuckle and winked. “You didn’t really think I would miss such an important milestone in your life, dear?”
“Were you one of the children sitting on adults’ shoulders?”
“Indeed, I was. I was sitting on Symin’s shoulders.”
“Then I wasn’t mistaken after all. Oh, I’m so happy you left the lab to come see it! How was it though, to leave the village? Are you alright?”
Purah laughed heartily. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m alright. It was about time I came to terms with this failure I’ve turned into, and you know what? People treated me like just any other girl. It was actually kind of fun. Should do it more often.”
By now, Ivee’s presence had become something very vague in the background. Which was okay, she was having a smashing time with Boy. Finally some excitement in that girl’s life. Zelda briefly smiled – at Boy, not at Ivee – then turned back to Purah. “I didn’t see you during the festivities afterwards, though.”
“No, I couldn’t stay very long. I’m working on a new project, a very important one, I’m super excited about it. In fact, it’s just about in the final stages. If you come join me to the lab, I can give you a few samples.”
“Samples? Of what?”
“Oh, you’ll see.”

Purah was in high spirits about her latest invention during their trek up the hill. Sadly, the same could not be said about Zelda. “Zelda dear, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Sorry?”
“I can feel your chagrin radiating all the way to here. It’s stomping all over this good vibe I’ve got going on. I wish you would cheer up.”
Zelda let out a loud, rather juvenile sound of annoyance. “That Ivee… She gets me so riled up, it’s not even funny.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about Ivee. That’s just how she is, frank and outgoing. She means no harm.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. She knows she can’t compete with a Queen.” Purah glanced disapprovingly at Zelda’s vainglorious smirk. “You know, Zelda, my child, jealousy is an ugly thing. Harbouring it doesn’t make you a nicer person. It has warped the vision you have of this girl. She’s actually quite lovely. So, when you see her again...”
“If I see her again.”
“If you see her again, try to be nice to her, okay? It’s fun to have friends.”
“I have Liselle. And you.”
“Friends your own age, I mean.” It made her think back about those days when she used to joke around with Robbie, all those years ago. Robbie used to be a good looking fella, back in his better days.
“She’s rude!” Zelda spat.
“It’s not rudeness,” Purah replied. “It’s the ignorant flippancy of youth. Youth that has barely known any hardships.” She thought that the crust of chagrin around Zelda was slowly cracking and crumbling. She could almost, with a bit of imagination, see the flakes drifting in the wind. Might’ve also been snowflakes. A tiny progress, for which she couldn’t help but feel a bit victorious. “You know, she might not even have been into him at all. You just go and automatically assume that. There’s no reason at all for you not to get along with her.” After she’d had her little say about this, it was directly on to the next matter on her agenda. Full of ideas, that head of hers. “Right, before I forget… Boy...” She looked around. “Where’s Boy?”
“Still with Ivee, I suppose.” Zelda clasped her hands in front of her chest. “Aw, he’s in love. How sweet.” Purah threw her a look, because she was doing it again, being condescending. “Sorry. I’ll work on it, I promise.”
With a little sigh, Purah turned around to Cassian, who had stayed a little way behind so the ladies could chat. “Cassian, be a dear and go fetch Boy, yes?”
“Right away.”
“Sit,” Purah directed once they’d entered the lab, looking positively psyched about her new invention, which would, she was sure, wow the Kingdom, possibly even the entire planet.
“Your Highness,” Symin said, slightly surprised. “What brings you here?”
With a bright smile, Zelda stuck out her ringed hand, letting the sparkling of the diamonds do the talking.
“Ow, put that away,” Symin said, shielding his eyes. “You’re blinding me.”

“Now, are you ready for this?” Purah said, pattering over to the table. “Symin, get your ass over here, you helped create this, don’t let me take all the credit.”
Zelda looked from the tiny packet of folded parchment on the table to Purah. “That’s it?”
Purah let out a shocked breath. “That’s it, she says.”
“Well, you made it seem like it would be something huge.”
“Well Zelda, my darling, this may be small in size, but the change it will bring will indeed be huge. And of course you cannot grasp the gravity of our invention if you leave it wrapped up like this. So, go on, open it!”
Zelda did so, carefully, as if something was going to pop out. What was inside looked like some kind of stretchable substance, tightly rolled up into a circle. Next to it, the same in its unrolled state. Zelda expectantly looked up at Purah for explanation.
“Getting married? Sure, go right ahead,” Purah enthusiastically started. “But 18 is awfully young to become a mother, my dear.” She triumphantly picked up the unrolled yellowish flappy thingy, and let it snap, showcasing its elasticity and durability. “See this? See how stretchable it is?”
“Uhu,” Zelda nodded, enthralled.
Purah held it up between them. “This is impregnable. Nothing gets through it. Allow me to demonstrate.” She snapped her fingers. “Symin, banana, please.”
Banana already at the ready, Symin held it out.
“Now, let’s not sugar coat it. We can all agree that this reminds us of a male erection, yes?”
Zelda felt a fierce blush rising to her cheeks, for her to have said such an intimate word in the presence of Symin. “Purah!”
Purah tisked and waved her hand. “Erection,” she said, pointing at the banana. “Don’t be prissy now. This is designed for use during sex, so if you’re embarrassed, suck it up, okay? We’re all adults here, are we not?”
Zelda shifted awkwardly on her seat, but then she saw that the sniggers that Symin was letting out were ones of excitement to reveal their invention, not of lewdness. With a little cough, she pulled herself together, too curious to see where this was going. “Please continue.”
“Very well,” Purah said, pleased. “During sex, semen is released into your belly, which may cause pregnancy. This!” she said, holding up the flappy thingy like some kind of pricey reward. “Will prevent that.” She switched to the rolled up one now. “Pay close attention. It’s important you do it right.” While she was rolling it down over the banana, Zelda was having an epiphany.
“I’ve got it!” she shouted, just at the moment Cassian entered the lab with Boy. She spun around on her seat and briskly beckoned him over. “Cassian, you’ve got to see this! It’s revolutionary!” Once he’d sat himself down next to her, she spiritedly continued explaining in Purah’s place. “See, this banana, it’s supposed to be a male erection.”
Cassian’s eyes widened. “A male- Oh…?” He looked around. “I have stepped through the right door, have I?”
“It’s about what is covering the banana,” Zelda pointed out. “Look! When you come, it will stop the semen from going inside the woman’s belly. Don’t you see? This is world changing.”
“Exactly that,” Purah concurred. “You get to decide if or when you want to become pregnant. Now, it goes without saying that if this gets torn or pierced, it becomes useless. Use another one.”
Cassian turned his head this way in that while he tried to get his head around the concept. Boy too was curious to see what all the ruckus was about. “Can I touch it?”
“Sure,” Symin said, holding it closer.
Cassian rubbed a finger along it. “Won’t it feel different when I use this?” The cold feel of the banana could be felt through the thin substance. He guessed that heat would come through as well then.
“Just a bit,” Purah said. “That’s why it’s so thin, so the difference in experience is minimal. And of course, you don’t have to use it all the time, just when there’s a risk of conception.”
“Won’t it come off while we’re… busy?” Zelda inquired.
“No,” Purah said firmly. “I have to admit it was a fine line to find the right degree of stretchiness so it would stay on, and at the other hand wouldn’t obstruct the blood flow. But this final product is made to hug the erect penis perfectly.”
Cassian stood up, came round the table and hugged first her, then Symin. “Thank you,” he said, practically with tears in his eyes.
“Oh, come now,” Purah giggled.
“No, he’s right,” Zelda agreed. “You two are geniuses.”
Not really sure how to handle this praise, Purah turned her attention to Boy. “Ah Boy, you’re here. Very well. Now, what I needed you for: would you mind terribly if I would do some experiments on you? It may hurt a bit sometimes, but surely you can take that?”
Unable to say yes or no, Boy let out a soft whine and nodded his head.
“Excellent! I’m gonna start by taking some blood samples and so...”
“Wait, wait, experiments?” Zelda butted in. “What are you going to do with him?”
“Don’t worry, it sounds worse than it is. But I have this thing in my head and I won’t be satisfied until I try it.” She continued to Boy again. “I promise you, Boy, if I succeed, it will greatly be to your benefit.”
“Don’t we have to ask Link first?” Zelda said.
“Of course not. Boy has his own personality, he can make decisions for himself.”
Boy looked at Zelda. She could see his hesitation. “Greatly to his benefit, you say?” Zelda asked in Boy’s place.
“Greatly,” Purah assured.
Convinced now, Boy sprang up, letting out an excited bark.
“Good, good!” Purah cheered. “Now, you will have to stay inside for the entire duration of the experiment. So, no running off to Ivee. But if my suspicion about you is right and we succeed… you’re gonna love me. We will start tomorrow, so you can still stay with Zelda and Cassian this evening.”
Boy turned around on the spot and barked again.
Looking at Boy with a smile on her face, Zelda stood up from her seat. “We’ll be leaving to see Impa now. She’d also want to learn about my coronation and engagement.”
Purah was appalled. “What, now?”
“Why not?”
“It’s almost winter, it will get dark early.”
“Yes, I suppose it will indeed be night fall when we get there. We’ll have to stay the night.”
“You could do that. Or, you could stay here and leave first thing in the morning.”
“Oh, well yes, there must be an inn here too.”
“No no, you don’t understand. If you stay here, you could sleep at Link’s house.” Purah inched closer to Zelda and suggestively nudged her with her elbow. “In his bed.”
“Oh…” Zelda gasped. “That’s actually… not such a bad idea. But there’s only one bed. Cassian, where would you…?”
“I’ll stand guard outside at the door,” Cassian said, not a hint of doubt in his voice.
“It will get cold tonight. And there’s snow in the air.”
“Boy can keep me warm. We’ll come in when it gets too cold. I’ll just sleep on the floor.”
Zelda nodded. And then the thought entered her head that they had initially planned to return home today. “They will be worried over at the castle, though.”
“Don’t you worry about that, I have pigeons here,” Purah grinned. “Let’s send one right now. Do you want to stay over for dinner? You must be hungry.”
“Oh, we don’t want to impose,” Zelda said, on the exact moment that her stomach let out an angry growl.
“Nonsense. You’re staying over for dinner, and that’s that.”
“I’ll already go start a fire over at Link’s place, so it’s nice and warm for when you want to sleep,” Cassian offered, Boy trotting behind him.
“Excellent idea,” Purah said. “Symon, can you please go see if we still have enough fire wood?”
The moment all males had left the building, Purah huddled close to Zelda. “So, from woman to woman. How was it?”
Zelda didn’t quite seem to understand. “How was what?”
“Surely, you’re gonna tell me about your first time with Link?”
“First time?”
“Let’s not play dumb. We both have eyes in our heads. He’s irresistible. And youngsters these days, they don’t wait until marriage any more.” She grinned at the caught smile that played around Zelda’s lips.
“Oh Purah, it was perfect,” Zelda sighed. “He was very shy, but he was such a gentlemen. He let me set the pace. It was… like in a dream. Like an… an 18+ fairytale. And you know, just between the two of us,” she added under her breath, “down there: good stuff. Very good stuff.”
Purah giggled like the young girl she looked like. “Well, I’m happy it was so good for you. Because you know, first times will never come back.”
Zelda’s eyes misted over, a dreamy smile appearing on her face. Indeed, once the moment was gone, it would just be a memory. But a memory to be treasured. Up till now, she’d collected quite a few. The first time she saw him. The first time his sapphire eyes looked straight into hers, and the pleasant shock it had caused in her being. The first time she felt butterflies in her stomach when they accidentally brushed against each other, and then over time, it wasn’t so ‘accidental’ any more. The first time she realised that he might just be the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The first time they made love. It had all been so great. And even though she would never experience them any more, she looked forward to all the other first times that were still to come. “I can’t wait to start my future with him. From the moment I saw him, I knew that I had to have his babies.”
“In a couple of years.” It was more of a fact, rather than a question, the way Purah had said it.
“Ideally, yes. But I wouldn’t mind if it would be sooner. I’m just worried about getting pregnant before the wedding. And I have maids. I’m sure Liselle would love to take care of our kids from time to time.”
“Oh, I’m not talking about that, of course babies are lovely,” Purah said. “But you see, once you’ve had a baby, your pussy becomes a lot less tight. Sex will never be the same again, my darling.” She held up her hand, offering the promised samples of her and Symin’s latest invention.
Zelda looked at her, horrified. “Give me those,” she breathed, grabbing the samples.
Parah chuckled. “Right. Pigeon.”

“I’m sorry,” Zelda said to Cassian while they descended the hill. It was already dark. They had to watch their step. “You were looking forward to some private time with Liselle this evening.”
Cassian pulled up his shoulders. “That’s okay. It will be double the pleasure tomorrow.”
In the soft glow of the lantern that Purah had sent them off with, she could see him grin, and it made her smile. It was an attitude she should draw lessons from.
“Some invention from Purah and Symin, hey?” Cassian said.
“It really is,” Zelda replied. “Did you get some samples too?”
“Yeah. Liselle will be in all kinds of ecstasy when I show it to her.”
“Don’t waste them though. You should only use them when the time is right for it. It will still be a while before they can produce it on a grander scale and sell it to the public, Purah said.”
“Well, I don’t mind being her test subject on this.”
They both laughed at Boy who was gambolling ahead of them, trying to catch the light snowflakes that were floating down. They didn’t say it aloud, but they were both wondering what Purah’s experiment could possibly entail. By the time they had reached Link’s house, he was already waiting at the door. He could smell the fire that was burning inside, and let out a dejected grunt, looking at Cassian as if he wanted to say “And who’s idea was it to stand guard in front of the door? Outside! In the snow!”
Zelda thankfully nodded her head when Cassian opened the door for her. The moment she had crossed the threshold, she could feel a chill running down her spine. Link’s presence in this house was almost tangible, she could feel his spirit enveloping her, and she felt comforted by it. Turning around, she pulled Cassian’s hood a bit tighter around his head. “Do make sure to come inside when it gets too cold. I don’t want to find neither of you frozen on my doorstep in the morning.”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Cassian smiled. When the door had closed, he sat down against it, putting an arm around Boy when he came lying next to him. He could feel a slight shudder running through him while he patted him. “Don’t worry, Boy,” he said. “We’ll go inside soon. Let’s just give Zelda some time alone now, okay? I think she needs it.” He winked at Boy, and with a little whine, Boy lowered his head and put his paw over his eyes. His way of blushing, Cassian guessed.

Zelda took a deep breath while she was standing there in Link’s kitchen. This was it. She was about to enter her first night without Link.
She looked around. All of Link’s weapons that used to hang on the wall were gone. She went upstairs, and there too, there were none of his personal belongings any more. It felt a bit sad, but also not, because he had moved on to a better place. In a cupboard, she found a spare pillow and blanket, which she put downstairs on the table, for when Cassian would decide to come in.
The thought of Link drew her back to the bedroom. If anything would smell like him, it would be his bedsheets. She quickly undressed and burrowed under the covers like a woman possessed. His hairs, his skin flakes, even his pubes, she wanted it all. She took off her corset too, creating even less of a barrier. Also, the idea of sleeping and sweating in it all night without a change of clothes in the morning was kind of icky to her. She took off her panties too. She had this niggling suspicion that sweat wasn’t the only bodily fluid she would be excreting this night.
She extinguished the lantern and, with a miserable sigh, she tucked herself in. It was so quiet. A soft orange glow from the fire downstairs reflected on the wall. Its comforting, woody aroma and its crackling sound made it feel so homely. Not for the first time, she thanked her lucky star, not only for bringing Link into her life, but also because she had mustered the courage, a couple of days ago, to ask him to have dinner with her. So much had changed since then. She had wanted to get close to him for so long. It felt like on that night, the cogs of her life – her personal life – had finally started to turn. She had matured in so many ways. And all this amazing sex! She had hoped for it to be good, but he had surpassed all of her expectations.
Her eyes drifted to the window, where she could see the gentle snowfall. Surely, it wouldn’t be snowing where he was, over at the Gerudo’s. That thought made her happy.
She wondered what he would be doing now, at this very moment. Would he already be in bed too? Wherever he was, he was probably polishing some more than just his skills. She hoped he would be missing her just as badly as she was missing him. Pulling the blanket up to her nose, she inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent. Even though it had been a while since Link last slept here, she thought that she could really smell him. Surely, there must be microscopically small parts of him, here in this bed. It made her feel connected. It made her feel kinda hot. “Link...” she whined.
With a grunt, she turned on her side. His absence drove her mad. Yet at the same time, if he would’ve been around, it would’ve been damn near impossible to keep her hands off him. “Don’t be a baby now,” she said to herself. “It’s not like he is dead. You’ll see him again in only a couple of days.” Then her chest filled with joy, as she remembered what Purah had given her. She couldn’t wait to try it out. Sex without the risk of becoming pregnant. Sex with Link. Hot, dirty, hard…
Moaning, she wrenched on her back again. As she had thought, it was quickly becoming clear to her that there was only one way to soothe her nerves. A hand started to travel down. She raised her knees. Her legs fell open, the blanket fell in between and she gently rocked her hips. If ever there was such a thing as to grind against a blanket, she was doing it. She could feel her juice rubbing off against it, against Link’s skin flakes, and his sweat, and frankly, she wouldn’t mind if there would be semen too. Surely, he must’ve been too busy to change his bedsheets very often.
She shook her head at her own silly thoughts. Her love for him ran so deep that even this made her horny. No, it was more than love. Right now, it was raw, sexual desire. And it needed to be appeased. She replaced the subtle friction of the blanket with her fingers, gently teasing at her slit before they delved inside. Her other hand ran down over her belly, her hipbone, then up to her breast, where it squeezed. “Ah… Link...” she gasped. Biting her lip, she started moving her fingers, rocking her hips against them. She imagined Link pumping away at his hard penis, over where he was. Only this morning, it had been burning inside her. Her fingers could never compare. They weren’t hot, they didn’t throb, but they did know who to find her pleasure spot with great accuracy. Curling her fingers, she teased at it, feeling her cheeks burn. The fingers of her other hand, which was squeezing at her breast, pinched and twisted at her nipple. “Uhn… Yes...” The way his hips had pounded into her only this morning seemed like such a distant memory now. That, and how she had practically ordered him not to come inside her. Right now, she was longing for his heat to fill her up.
The hand on her breast veered to the side, clinging to the mattress while the fingers that were thrusting inside her depths slid up to stimulate her clit. She tried to keep in her desperate sobs, not really sure how soundproof this house was. Memories from the night before flashed through her head, from when he had disciplined her. The way he had been so dominant, so in charge. So different from the way he’d been at first. She could almost feel the heat emanating from his body, smell him, hear his husky voice.
On you knees. Queen Zelda.
Her head whipped to the side as she tried to stifle her moans into the pillow. Her entrance twitched and tingled. She could feel the foreboding spasming of her muscles, telling her that she was close. Her feet planted firmly into the mattress as her hips jerked up. She imagined Link’s hips straining too, his balls drawing tight while his seed purposelessly spewed out of him.
“Ah… Ahn! Link!” Her entire body draw taut while her belly convulsed. She gasped and mewled while the pleasure hummed through her limbs. Gradually, she felt the tension ebbing away. It was replaced by a deep sense of contentment.
Purring as she calmed down, she felt all the anxiety and stress leave her body. Curling on her side, she tightly hugged the blanket around her. In her mind’s eye, she saw Link smiling at her. Leaning closer for a kiss goodnight and to whisper in her ear. Sweet dreams, my love. An intense feeling of security filled her chest. She was warm. She was safe. In Link’s bed. All was well.
She’d try to get some sleep. With some luck, she would dream about Link. Right now, dreaming was the only way to be with him. She was just about to drift off when she heard the door opening downstairs. Ah, Cassian and Boy. No death by frostbite. She would be at ease now.

To be continued…

Author’s Note: Next chapter, Zelda is enjoying her dreamsex a little too much. And she may have to change her opinion about Ivee. I actually like Ivee. I’ve written an entire fic about her where she’s happily married to Link while Zelda is still in the clutches of Ganon. But then Zelda is freed, and they all become friends. Eventually. If you're interested: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091245
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