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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike	By : GintaxAlvissforever Category: +S through Z > Super Smash Brothers Views: 1933 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers or SEGA Superstar Tennis. I'm not making any money off of this

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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers Brawl or Sega Superstar Tennis. They go to Nintendo (SSBB) and SEGA (SSST).
Summary: Snake, still upset with Ike barging in on him and Link when they were making love, he joins Sonic and the group to make Ike's life more miserable. It's going to get very explosive tonight...
Chapter 8: Snake's Prank

There was a loud bang on Sonic's door the next morning. Now Sonic was already awake speaking to his friends on MSN. It was Fox who wasn't happy with the rude awakening. He grabbed his blaster and was ready to shoot the door down. Sonic sighed as he opened the door to see who was this respectful to doors.
"What do you want?"
The Smasher already had a grenade launcher pointed at Sonic's nose. The blue hedgehog sweatdropped as he backed up accidentally letting the person in. He was scarier than Erazor Djinn but that didn't stop Fox from pointing the blaster at the Smasher.
"Get out of our room Snake! I am NOT in the mood!" Fox warned him.
Snake looked at Sonic and then at Fox. He then pointed the grenade launcher at Fox.
"I'm only here for the blue hedgehog here. I will leave and not come back if I can have a little chitchat with him."
Chitchat meant trouble in Sonic's book. He looked at Fox who agreed. Terrified, he ran behind the leader of Star Fox and begged him not to have Snake 'kidnap' him.
"I'll be good! Just don't let me go with that guy!" Sonic cried.
Snake and Sonic were never on good terms. Sonic couldn't figure out why. He treated Snake like he did almost everybody...and that somehow made them enemies. If this was what it was about and the fact that Sonic saw Snake's cock yesterday which wasn't a pretty sight...he was screwed.
"I want this guy to leave so off you go," Fox said in an uncaring voice as he grabbed the hedgehog's wrist and threw him at Snake. Snake then picked Sonic' body up and carried him like he was a huge piece of wood.
"I owe you one." Snake said as he proceeded to leave.
"YOU TRAITOR!" You could hear Sonic screaming.
Fox ignored the blue hedgehog and closed the door behind him. He yawned as he went to sleep. When he did...Sonic got new mail.

Snake had an evil look on his face. He was either a.) plotting to kill Sonic b.) plotting to rape Sonic which would get him killed by Fox if he found out c.) Something else all together. It still didn't stop Sonic from having a horrified expression on his face.
Snake dragged him to his and Link's room. The Hero of Time wasn't there at the moment. He was probably visiting Queen Zelda in her room. There, he threw Sonic on the bed and had a look so scary that Sonic was on the verge of breaking down in tears.
"Please don't hurt me! I bruise easily!" Sonic shouted trying to think of a way out of this.
"That's not enough hedgehog. You're going to have to think of something better."
"Uh...Fox will be mad if you rape and then kill me?"
"I don't care."
"-sweatdrop- Uh...I didn't see your prize possession! I swear!"
That got Snake fired up. He had the grenade launcher aimed at him, "Any last words?"
Sonic mumbled something that the mercenary couldn't quite make out.
"Before you die, I have to ask you one question?"
Sonic looked at Snake sadly, "What is it?"
"What does it take to join your team?"
Sonic looked at him dumbfounded. What the fuck was he talking about?
"W-What?"
Snake looked at him with a determined look, "I want to know how to get into your little group. I have to get back at that mercenary bastard for interrupting my fun time with Link. He was so embarrassed that he wouldn't continue with me. I have to get my revenge."
So...he's not after me. Sonic thought to himself, "Okay. Just promise me that you won't kill me."
"I won't. What grudge do I have against you?"
When Snake said that, Sonic looked away toward the readers murmuring to them, "Too many to count."
"When can I start the torture?"
Sonic stopped breaking the fourth wall and told the mercenary. "Anytime as long as Pit doesn't get hurt in the process."
Snake grinned evilly, "That will be easy. I already have everything planned. Want to know the plan?"
"No."

Luckily for Pit, he left his room to visit Ash and Falco. He was completely unaware of what was going on between the two. While it was obvious that Falco was suffering, he didn't show it in front of the angel. Ash acted like he always did.
"So, what brings you here today Pit?" Ash questioned.
"It's about the upcoming match tomorrow..." Pit mumbled, "Master Hand said that I could choose anyone as a partner for tomorrow. I was wondering if you could be my partner..."
"Why him?" Falco asked quite irritated, "There are plenty of Smashers who will be your partner beside this unreliable twit!"
Ash gave him a perverse glare that silenced Falco immediately. This puzzled the angel but didn't ask about it since it was something between the two of them but Falco would have benefited greatly if the angel asked though because he might have been able to stop Ash from torturing him .
"I'll be happy to be your partner! Just tell me who the opponents are."
"The Mario brothers."
Ash frowned, "Oh...I see..."
"It's okay if you're not my partner. I'll just ask Sonic to-"
Ash knew that Sonic had other things to do beside be in a match so he interrupted the angel, "Hey! It's okay! I can take on both brothers with my hands tied behind my back."
"That's because you don't even fight!" Falco just had to shout.
Ash gave the bird an evil look. It was going to be quadruple the pain tonight.
Pit nodded his head, "I'm sure you could Ash."
Ash blushed like an idiot as he patted the angel's back, "It will be okay. You can count on me!"
Pit smiled, "I know I can. Thanks."
Ash grinned as the next thing he did was kick the angel out saying that he would prepare for the match tomorrow. The angel believe him and left. When no one was in sight though, the Pokémon Trainer locked the door and glared at Falco.
"What was that about Falco?" he asked losing his temper, "Why did you have to make me look unreliable in front of Pit?"
"Because you'll only let him down," Falco said adamantly, "You know that you wouldn't stand a chance against the Mario brothers!"
Ash frowned. He didn't want to admit it but it was true. His Ivysaur was weak against fire so the fireball and Mario's Final Smash did a number of the poor bulb Pokémon. Charizard wasn't really affected against them either because the dragon Pokémon was too slow to attack either. Mario also had F.L.U.D.D. which was what Charizard was weak against. His poor Pokémon always did its best to avoid him. Finally there was Squirtle. While Squirtle would fair well against Mario, it was the opposite with Luigi. Luigi usually dealt with the turtle Pokémon. One Negative Zone followed by a Super Jump Punch finished the Pokémon off quickly.
"I feel sorry for that angel. His rank will probably go down because of you," Falco continued to rant.
Ash didn't want to admit that the ace pilot was right.
"You seriously need to shut up," Ash murmured in a dangerous tone.
"You know I'm not afraid of your threats," Falco stated, "It's not like you were a good trainer anyway because you're just like those villainous groups who need to abuse and overwork your Pokémon to make you feel good!"
So this is what it was about! Ash thought to himself angrily as he walked toward the blue bird, "Are you that upset about this whole master and pet game we're playing?"
Falco said nothing. His silence was the obvious answer though. Ash walked over to Falco and pushed him back forcing him on the bed. This caught him off guard as he tried to sit back up but the Pokémon Trainer wouldn't let him as his arms were on both sides of his head.
"With that attitude, you won't be able to resolve your issue with Fox. Instead of taking it out on me, you should work with him, but no! You have to keep shooting me down and act like I'm the dick when you want this to happen to you!"
That was way too harsh for Ash but it was enough to get Falco glaring daggers at him honestly wanting to strangle him. He stopped his struggles causing the Pokémon Trainer to smirk in triumph.
"That's a good bird."
"You're a bastard, you know that?"
"Maybe, but you know you like being dominated. If I was Fox though, you woundn't be complaining a bit."
"..."
There was a sudden knock at the door. It was Lucas' asking the Pokémon Trainer if he could help him out in target practice.
"Coming Lucas!" Ash said in an innocent tone as he left Falco alone to go with the little psychic boy.
Falco could only sit back on top of the bed and place his head in his hands. How could the idiot trainer realize what the real issue was under all of his snark? It pissed him off that Ash was probably right and that he was just hitting his sore spots to make him act this way. It was going to get nasty at this rate if he didn't do something about it...but like Ash said, he would let someone else come along and handle it.

Snake already knew what he wanted to do to Ike. It was so well planned out like how an evil mastermind would plan on how to take over the world. It was...disturbing for Sonic. He watched as Snake set up all these bombs and traps in the hallway. Anyone who went near them would see death very soon. The traps included time bombs, grenades, knives coming out of the wall (which Sonic doesn't know how that's able to happen) and...pitfalls. It was perfect.
"He'll never escape my wrath..."
Sonic waved his hands in front of his face as he backed away to set up the camera.
The problem about setting traps in the main hallway is that someone was bound to take the same hallway as Ike. That being Ash who was stomping toward the traps. If it weren't for Sonic, he might have been dead.
"What the hell do you want?" Ash burst in a fit of anger.
"HEY! Chill out man! I was only trying to save you from getting knives in your brain!" Sonic told him.
Ash didn't seem to care about that though given he was as pissed as a bull that saw the color red.
"What's wrong?"
"It's none of your fucking business!"
"Hey, I was just asking! I'm worried about you Ash. You've been really...moody ever since you won that bet."
"Oh look at little Ms. Hedgehog being all observant! Leave me alone!"
"I am not-"
"Must be having a trouble with life," Snake cut in. He had a cigarette in his mouth and started smoking.
"Hey Snake! Did you not know that this place is a NON-SMOKING area?" Sonic asked before turning away to cough. He hated the smell of cigarettes.
Ash was unaffected, "I am not having a problem with my life here! As for you, at least Ike doesn't interrupt me when I have my love sessions!"
That was wrong in two ways. One being that Ash revealed what he was doing to poor Falco. The other was to mention Ike and the love session he interrupted because of Marth. This resulted in Snake taking out his grenade launcher and pointed it at the Pokémon Trainer.
"Any last words?"
Ash shrugged it off and walked in the other direction which was the elevator. He needed to meet Lucas now.
"Hey! I'm still talking to you!" Snake yelled as he was about to fire when Sonic stopped him.
"Let him go. You shouldn't shoot him when there is a risk of the traps being set off." Sonic explained calmly.
Snake murmured something before getting into position. Sonic sighed. Was there something going on between Ash and Falco? Because if there was...it had to stop now. One of the rules in the mansion was that abuse of any time would not be tolerated. It would be really bad if Master Hand found out. The one who suffered...would usually be the older Smasher. He would have to speak to Ash about that matter eventually.

Eventually Ike came walking into the hallway. He decided not to take the elevator because he did not want to end up in the infirmary again or listen to If You Were Gay. Dr. Mario said that his butt injury wasn't serious and allowed him to go. Now Ike wanted to make up for it by training on the ground floor.
He was getting irritated that these pranks were messing up his schedule. It's been over a week since misfortune struck him. When he found the person who was doing this, he would Great Aether them and then possibly ask his heron friends if he could borrow the Fire Emblem from them. That would surely teach them not to mess with him.
Ike checked his surroundings. Everything seemed normal. He was going to take caution until he saw his favorite type of food in front of him in the clear open. KFC.
Ike loved KFC with a passion but this was too good to be true. He checked around one last time. He didn't notice anything but if you had a scanner or animal senses then you would know that there were many traps waiting to be unleashed on the unfortunate victim.
Ike was that unfortunate victim. He stepped on the first trap. The wall revealed knives that were shot at the bluenette. He dodged them like he was in the Matrix. He also leaped over bombs that exploded beneath his feet like a gazelle. He finally made it over to the KFC, but as soon as he looked inside the container...
BOOM!
Next thing you know, Ike ended up falling on his back face all black.
"Damn! I will get you!" Ike shouted. Black smoke came from his mouth and then he fainted.
Sonic just looked at Ike and shook his head. Snake on the other hand smirked as he finished smoking and threw the cigarette on the ground. He squashed it between his shoe.
"My revenge," he began with a satisfied grin, "If half way done. Link will finish what I started tomorrow."
Sonic looked at Snake in horror. Link was the last person he wanted to ask. While the Hero of Time was a kind soul, when it came to pranks, he was downright evil. If he knew Link, the Hylian would do something so evil that Ike might actually snap and unleash his true power. His true power by the way is going to be OVER 9000!

Me: TBC done with 3000 words...nothing much to say...but the edit is major.
Edit: I changed the whole fight Ash and Falco was having. It's about the unresolved sexual tension that was brought up between Fox and Falco in the beginning but was forgotten when I started writing this. Falco is now just taking his anger out on Ash and naturally, Ash isn't use to constant insults...well he is in terms of Paul, but that's besides the point. So instead of anything sexual happening with them, Ash ends up showing he's observant and figuring out the real reason Falco is upset instead of Falco being bitchy about being bottom and Ash taking advantage of the whole "adult gets in trouble if caught" situation. This way, Ash isn't that much of a dooshebag.
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50 Ways to Piss Off Ike