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Wash Away My Sins	By : horrorgal Category: +A through F > Amnesia: The Dark Descent Views: 2697 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own, Amnesia: The Dark Descent, nor the characters. I do not profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 7
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Chapter 8

Daniel's head felt like it had been beaten in, the steady throb a reminder of his brilliant idea to get drunk. He groaned mournfully, face pressed against the pillow to block out the sun that streamed through the curtains. For once he cursed the light, it's brilliance like daggers through his skull. Through half-sleep and pain he tried to piece together his drunken night. He remembered the wolf and the shadow, his conversation with the barkeep, and ordering another bottle of whiskey when one just hadn't been enough to quell his distress. He vaguely remembered stumbling his way to the inn to get a room for the night after spending the entire day in the safety of the bar. It had been a while since he'd gotten drunk; not since that night when all this began. He was having nightmares before, yes, but nothing more than that.

Daniel attempted to sit up, struggled a bit, then managed to put his feet on the cold wood floor, head on his hands. The throbbing in his skull was steady and painful, and his stomach felt sour. It was his own fault and he knew it. He groaned a curse, realizing that John must be worried as well. It was then he heard a soft scuff and his voice from the corner of the room, and Daniel jerked, groaning louder when his head punished him for the sudden movement.
"Finally awake, lover?"
"John?" he rasped, voice scratchy. His mouth was much too dry, and be moved his tongue around his mouth, unsuccessfully trying to get moisture.
John sighed. "Daniel, why did you not come home? Is it something I have done?"
"No," he said and looked at him, eyes squinting against the daylight penetrating the room. "I..had a bit of trouble on my way here."
"Trouble? Were you attacked again?" John left his seat to come sit beside him on the bed.
"It was a wolf," he muttered, swallowing against the cotton dryness of his mouth once more. "Something got the wolf..." Daniel laughed and half sobbed.
"Daniel." His arm came around his body and pulled him close. "What do you mean? What got the wolf?"
"I can't. You'll think I imagined it."
"Daniel, you can tell me anything. Nothing has changed."
"No," he answered and shook his head, regretting it when the pounding increased. "Oh God, my head." He gripped it, wishing he hadn't woken up at all.
"I won't push you," John said softly and rubbed the back of his neck for him. "Perhaps later when you aren't feeling so unwell we can talk more about it. Alright?"
"Alright," he agreed, taking a breath, fighting the urge to vomit. "I'm..sorry. I shouldn't have drank so much, but my nerves.." He looked at his lover. "Why do you put up with me when I behave this way?"
"Good question, but one I have already answered before." John smiled. "Though, right now you look and smell like death."
"Bloody Hell," he groaned. "I'm so sorry, John. It wasn't thinking and once I got going, I thought it better to stay in town instead of going home in such a state.
"Well, what's done is done." His fingers brushed his hair from his cheek. "Do you think you can ride?"
"Yes. I'm thinking it won't be pleasant, but it's no more than I deserve."
John kissed his cheek. "Come on then. We'll get you home to a hot bath, tea and some rest."
Daniel leaned over and grabbed his boots to put on, trying to ignore the fact it felt like his head was being split apart by an ax. He groaned and sat back up, hand to his forehead . The ride back on Shadowstorm would be much like torture indeed. John, knelt before him to help with his boots, waving off Daniel's insistence he could manage. This man did way too much for someone so pathetic. He was a man of wealth and class, yet here he was on bended knee putting his boots on him like a common servant. Daniel watched him and his heart swelled. He was in love with this man. No denying it.
"John." He touched his cheek. "You are too good to me."
"Nonsense. I could be even better," he said and winked, pushing on his other boot snugly.
Daniel rubbed his eyes and looked about the room when it occurred to him. "John, how did you get in my room?"
"I was very persuasive with the inn keeper. Though, it's a little unsettling it only took a bit of money to get him to give me the key."
"Very unsettling. Lucky it was you and not another mad man wanting to rob and attack me..." Daniel swallowed, feeling his gorge rise. "John...move..move!" He shoved his lover aside and just made it to the chamber basin before he vomited. He closed his eyes and coughed, vomiting again until he was dry heaving horribly, gasping for breath. "Oh..God." If I ever...drink..again..kill me." He weakly grabbed for the pitcher of water, but John was already getting him a glass to save him the trouble. He took it gratefully and rinsed as much of the foul taste from his mouth as he could, grimacing at the mess, quickly looking away before he got going again. He just wanted to get home and clean up properly and try to rid himself of this excruciating headache. He also wanted to tell John what he heard about his attacker, but that would have to wait. He just didn't have the energy to say anything about it right now.
"Oh, Daniel. Come on with you." He helped him get his coat on. "We'll leave the mess for the greedy innkeeper, hm?" He smiled, even now in view of such a undignified display.
Daniel blinked rapidly when they stepped out into the bright, cool morning, and he felt the slight stir of nausea again, but it passed when he closed his eyes and took in a few deep breaths. Shadowstorm snorted and bobbed his head as if saying good morning when Daniel stepped over to him. He felt awful enough as it was, and knowing the poor horse was out all night tied to the pole didn't make him feel any better. He could have been stolen, or worse. Daniel thought of the shadow again, wishing his drunken night had erased that memory. No, it was better to remember. Making yourself forget so much only caused more problems.
After a failed first attempt, almost falling back on his ass, he made it up on the saddle, feeling his face burn when John chuckled a bit at his strife. John mounted his own horse and they started off, trotting slow and easy to make the trip less painful for him. When Daniel got the sense to realize they were going the normal path he stopped Shadowstorm with a soft pull on the reigns, eyeing the path suspiciously. It took John a few moments to notice his partner wasn't beside him anymore and he stopped his own horse, looking back at him curiously.
"Daniel, are you going to be ill again?"
He swallowed. "No, it's not that." He felt so foolish, but the fear was just too strong. "Is there another way we can go?"
"Well, yes, there is one other road, but it will take us at least another half hour or more, especially if we continue as slow as we are."
"Are there...a lot of trees along the other path?"
"Not so much, no." His eyes softened. "Is this about the wolf you mentioned?"
He still wasn't ready to mention the shadow either. "Yes."
"If it is what you wish, we will go the longer way, but I assure you it will be fine. The wolf is probably long gone by now."
Oh, I know it is. He looked at John. "Please, the longer route? I'll be alright, and the air might do my headache good."
"Very well." John turned his horse and headed for the other end of town. "It's along this way. It's a larger path where most of the delivery carts travel."
Daniel turned Shadowstorm and caught up to ride beside him. He felt less tense now albeit he felt foolish as well, but John didn't really appear to be bothered by his request. They rode in silence for a time, which was just as well. His head was still doing him in and he was concentrating on trying to control his stomach. Nearly two bottles of whiskey he had consumed. Looking back, he saw the idiocy of it. If he continued to drink so heavily, he would die a young age, unless something else got to him first. That fear again, twisting at his gut. He held the reigns tightly and took a few more deep breaths. It was probably sensible to just think about getting home and nothing else.
"Doing alright, Daniel?"
"I'll make it."
"If it gets to be too much, tell me and we'll stop to rest."
Daniel smiled soft to him, then looked back ahead. The path was much more spacious, open fields with very little trees spotting the countryside. He would most likely use this path when he needed to come to town from now on. He didn't think that would be anytime soon. This trip was enough to last him quite a while. The sun that was shining so brightly dulled behind passing clouds, giving him a moments reprieve from the stabbing pain it was causing behind his eyes. The entire ride to the farm was uneventful and when they finally arrived, John ordered him inside while he stabled and took care of the horses. Daniel didn't argue.

~~~~

His head was still aching, but not as severely as he left the bathroom, feeling more refreshed from the hot bath. He'd spent extra time brushing the foul taste from his mouth more than anything else. He still felt horrible about John having to witness him in that state. John had seen the worst of him in many ways since they met, and yet he still wanted to be with him. John was practically an angel. He went to his room, intending to lie down and try to sleep off the rest of his hangover, but he found John standing by the window waiting for him.
"Better?"
"Much." He looked down at his feet. "I really am sorry you had to come and get me, and that I worried you. Seeing me like this is much more than you should have to weather, John," he said softly.
"Stop apologizing. You've done plenty enough of that already. Just, don't do it again, hm?" He chuckled soft and came over to him, lifting his chin with his fingers. "I know you want to rest, but it will do you good to try eating something first. Come on." He kissed him soft then led him, not downstairs to the dining room, but to his bedroom.
Daniel wasn't sure how much he could consume, but he would give it a try. He sat at the small table that the servants had set up beside the fireplace that was burning bright and warm. There was toast, soup and tea. He tried a little of all three as they sat silently together. John drank his own tea, gazing at the fire before them as if in a trance. He was starting to feel normal again, the sick feeling in his stomach was finally subsiding all together. That along with the warm fire had him so relaxed that he was slouched in his chair, lazily looking at his lover, admiring his handsome profile. He felt at peace once more. Content. Safe. John turned his gaze to him and smiled. Daniel smiled tiredly back, blinking a bit when his eyes blurred.
"Daniel, you look worn out," John said, reaching to take his hand gently.
Daniel shook his head, blaming his hangover for the strange feeling coming over him. "It's nothing. This headache is just making my eyes a bit blurry," he said. In fact he felt incredibly more drowsy than he had just a short time ago. Almost like he'd been drugged. He blinked and looked at John imploringly. "I do feel..a little funny," he muttered the admission.
"Please do not be angry with me, but I had Rose put some medication in your cup of tea. It will relieve your headache and help you sleep, lover. I assure you it's safe. I've used it before myself."
"Oh.." He blinked again and looked at John. His lover. So thoughtful. So handsome. His eyes... Daniel looked at the green of his eyes, vision wavering. Brown? We're John's eyes brown just now? Just for a second. No, not even a second, but a fraction of one he could have swore he saw the color brown. "I think I should go lie down now," he slurred, standing and swaying, grabbing onto the table to keep from falling over. John was at his side quickly, arm around his waist to keep him upright. "Damn, did she.. give me too..much?" Daniel moaned, head falling against John's shoulder. The room was fuzzy, like he was drunk all over again, yet the feeling was strangely pleasant. His whole body felt so relaxed and warm. He chuckled helplessly as John helped him towards the bed. "No, I can't sleep..in here.."
"Don't be silly. You can and will."
"John." His name came out in a whisper and he was helped onto the bed. John joined him, and uncertainly filled him again, his thoughts fleeting and muddled. "The servants..we can't..be in bed together when they..can walk in and see." So hard to even talk now.
"Shh, worry not." John was smiling soft, looking down at him with his beautiful, and still very green eyes. He must have just been seeing things because of the medication then. John's fingers gently brushed his hair back and rubbed his temples delicately. "I've told you before they do not enter my bedroom unless I allow it. Besides, all the servants know about our relationship."
He was too out of it to be shocked, but the one questioning word still passed his lips. "What?"
"They are paid very well, and are completely loyal to me, Daniel. Do not be concerned others outside our home will find out," he assured him, his voice as soft as his touch. He leaned close and kissed him, lips warm and lingering. "Now, try to sleep, love," he whispered to him. Daniel's eyes slipped closed, unable to fight sleep even if he wanted to.

~~~~

Daniel opened his eyes and saw darkness. Complete panic. He yelled and jerked up, the blanket that had been over his face fell to his lap and he gasped in quick breaths, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. He was still in John's bedroom. The man himself was sitting by the fireplace reading a book and looked over with concern. He said nothing, but set his book aside and came over. Daniel blinked and took note that he must have slept the entire day away. Night had come and beams of moonlight shone across the wood floor. John sat on the edge of the bed and touched his face.
"Another nightmare?"
"Mn." Daniel shook his head, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "It was just dark," he muttered and yawned soft. "Did I really sleep all day?" he asked, head still a bit fuzzy, but no longer feeling ill or strange. In fact he felt great.
"Afraid so. I do think dear Rose got a little too generous with the dose. She is aware now and knows how angry I am. She will not make a mistake like that again."
"Are you planning on drugging me again then?" Daniel asked. He grimaced, wishing he hadn't said something so accusing when John's face fell. "Oh, John, I didn't mean it to sound scathing."
"It's alright. I should have just asked if you wanted to take it, but you can be stubborn about things at times. I only meant well." He lit the candle on the side table and poured Daniel a glass of water.
"Thank you," he said and drank the entire glass in a few gulps. "I guess I can be a bit stubborn," he admitted as John poured him more. He smiled to his lover as reassuringly as he could. "I'm not angry with you."
"I am relieved to hear it," he said. "That aside, how are you feeling now?"
"Wonderful, actually." He looked at the window to view the night. "Wide awake as well. Not the best thing at this time of night, I suppose."
"Well, perhaps we can exhaust you then," John said and stood. "You should get up and move around after slumbering so long."
"Yes, I do feel a bit stiff," Daniel agreed as he put the glass down and moved off the bed.
"Shall we have an adventure, Daniel?" John smirked.
He chuckled. "What do you mean exactly? Surely you don't want to venture out into the night?" At least he hoped not.
"Not exactly." He took Daniel's hand and kissed it. "I'll tell you very shorty. For now go freshen up while I finish preparing for our little...excursion."
Daniel was rather perplexed, but also intrigued by whatever he had in mind. He took the candle to light his way to the bathroom, focusing on the flame the entire way. The oil lamp was already lit when he entered and he sat the candle aside to wash up at the basin. He looked into the brass mirror and saw the dark circles that had been under his eyes that morning were gone. He didn't know what kind of medication he had been given, but it did wonders. The house was so still and quiet, and now that he was awake and alone again, the wolf and shadow squirmed their way back into his thoughts. He splashed more cool water on his face and cursed under his breath. He decided to just keep the event to himself. No need to worry John any more than he had to. He had done plenty enough of that already.
As he dried he heard a soft thump from the hallway outside the door, followed by another. He took up the candle and opened the door to have a look, assuming it was probably just John. No one was there, so he went back to the bedroom, but found he was also absent there as well. He went downstairs next, shivering involuntarily, silently cursing himself for it. Nothing in this house would hurt him, but paranoia that something in the most shadowed of corners would reach out and grab him never failed to be in the back of his mind. He reached the bottom of the stairs and called out to John in a hushed voice. No answer, but the sitting room door was cracked.
The door creaked when he pushed it open it. The fireplace that was usually alight was nothing but cooling embers, and no candles or lamps burned to light the interior. He gasped when he saw a figure move between the cracks of the barely open curtain, the presence blocking out the only source of light coming in from the moon above. He stood frozen and grit his teeth. It had to be John, but why had he not answered him? He lifted the candle and moved forward, swallowing his cowardice like a bitter wine. He nearly dropped the candle when the shape moved towards him.
"It's me, Daniel," John said.
"For fuck sake, why are you just standing here in the dark!?" he gasped out, voice shaking, even as he willed it not to.
"It wasn't my intention to frighten you. I just wanted to see exactly how deep your phobia was." He stepped forward more into the candlelight and gently took the candlestick from Daniel's trembling hand. He wasn't so happy to let it go, but John pulled it from his grasp and lit the oil lamp on the end table with it before he blew the wick out. "The dark cannot hurt you, Daniel."
Daniel shivered and moved closer to the glorious light coming off the lamp. "It's not the dark. It's what's in the dark that I'm worried about."
"This intense fear you have is like a canker embedded deep inside of you. I want to help you cut it out, Daniel."
"I don't think it's possible," he insisted. "I've had this fear for as long as I can remember and it's only gotten worse over the years. I told you what happened to me at Brennenburg Castle. That didn't help my situation."
"Do you trust me?" John asked.
Daniel sighed. "Of course I do. That's not the issue."
John offered his hand. "Then come with me."
He looked at his offered hand. "Where?"
"To the cellar."
"What? Why there?" He had only been down in the cellar once since moving to the farm, and he had yet to step foot in it again. It was the darkest space in the entire house because it had not one single window to the outside world.
John moved close and slipped a arm around him, yanking him roughly forward against his body, looking so deeply into his eyes that Daniel was sure he could see his very soul. "I intend on showing you the pleasures one can experience in the dark you fear so much, my sweet Daniel."
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Wash Away My Sins