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Need to Know	By : Nicker Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 13206 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Mass Effect & all the characters are property of Bioware. I am not making money with writing this story.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
The shuttle jolted to a halt, rousing everybody from their rest. They unbuckled from their seats and stood up, Vega and Garrus pulling Ashley up.
Dr. Chakwas was already waiting with a crash kit and a stretcher, two crewmembers standing by. Ashley staggered forward, falling to her knees as she let Miranda down carefully onto the stretcher, Oriana not leaving their side for a second.
The doctor looked at the wound with an unfathomable expression and checked Miranda’s vital signs with her portable tool. She looked up at Oriana.

“You must be her sister. Oriana, right?”

The girl nodded.

“Your sister lost a lot of blood. I presume you have the same blood type?”

Another nervous nod. Ashley felt she was missing something.

“I can give her as much as she needs,” Oriana whispered.
Chakwas nodded with an encouraging smile as she finished the checkup, nodding to the crewmen to grab the stretcher.

“Good. Let’s get Miranda to patched up then.”
And they were off in a rush, the four of them taking the elevator before anybody else. Ashley was left there, kneeling on the floor of the hangar bay, utterly exhausted.
She shook her head wearily to clear her mind as they all watched the doors close. Garrus and Vega were unpacking the gear from the shuttle, filing them on a crate neatly. Shepard tapped Ashley’s shoulder.

“Are you all right, Ash?” he asked softly.
Ashley looked down at her bloody armor, then slowly lifted her head. She must have had a bewildered expression on her face because they all looked at her concerned for a second.

“Oh? Yes. Sure. Tired. This– this is not my blood,” she mumbled.
“I’ll start going through the data. Maybe we find something useful,” Liara said, breaking the awkward moment.
“Sure,” Shepard said, fishing out Miranda’s tracker device from his belt. He waved it with an amazed expression and gave it to Liara. “Take this to Joker and EDI, please. Let’s hunt these bastards down.”
Ashley could get on board with that, she thought dully, still kneeling on the floor. I’ll get on board as soon as I can move, she added and sighed. Vega reached out a hand to her and she gratefully took it, pulling herself up with a groan.

“Good fight, Lola,” Vega nodded with a grin.
Liara hurried off, and the four of them were left there by the shuttle, all feeling the aftereffects of the intense skirmish. Everybody was a bit stiff and slow, groaning and grunting as they started to peel off their armor. There was a soothing familiarity in the routine of helping each other out of their gears.
Ashley was still staring at the elevator, dropping the pieces of her armor unceremoniously on the floor.

“Could anybody please explain to me what the hell just happened down there?” she mused, nodding towards the elevator.
There was a short pause as they all glanced at each other, the penny slowly dropping as Ashley sat down heavily on a crate to pull of her boots and legpieces.
“Oh. You mean the Lawson family,” Shepard said finally, half out of his armor.
Ashley looked at him, trying to look nonchalant and nodded.

Vega nodded enthusiastically, too.

“Yea. What’s up with them? That chick was hot.”

Ashley and Shepard both glared at him.

“What?”
“Funny you should say that,” Garrus interjected, collecting the guns to take them to the weapons bench for cleaning.

“Why?”
Garrus didn’t reply, just walked away with the turian equivalent of a smirk on his face.

“Lawson was a megalomaniac. He wanted a dynasty. So he made one, in a lab,” Shepard replied, plopping down next to Ashley, leaning back against another crate to pull of his boots. “Miranda was genetically engineered to be perfect.”
“Well, that explains a lot of things,” Vega and Ashley muttered in sync. They exchanged surprised glances.
Ashley was looking back and forth between them, not trusting herself to speak any further. Fortunately, Vega had no inhibitions, and they shrugged off the strange moment.
“Holy shit. That can mess with your brain.”

Shepard nodded.

“So what happened?”
Shepard looked at them and grinned.

“He did a good job. So good, in fact, that Miranda started to rebel against him. So he made a clone of her to start all over again. Oriana.”
“Clone?” Vega snorted. “Jesus Christ, this dude was sick.”

“That still doesn’t explain…” Ashley said. She was frantically trying to put the pieces together in her reeling mind, her memories all flooding her at once. Miranda’s body was certainly– “And then? What went wrong?” she blurted out before her thoughts continued down that path.
“She ran away and took Oriana with her,” Garrus replied, getting back from the weapon’s bench, leaning against the shuttle.
“You have to appreciate it, though,” Shepard mused, standing up with a tired grunt, getting ready to leave.

“What?” Vega asked.
“Miranda ran to Cerberus for protection. Imagine how bad it must have been that this was her best option.” Shepard patted Ashley on the shoulder as he passed her by and grinned. “Not a lot of people stop and think about that.”
Vega just shook his head, too baffled to catch the gesture, “That’s messed up, man…”
Shepard was already on the move, strolling with energetic steps towards the stairs. “You guys kicked ass down there! Good job, everyone!”
“Are you all right, Ash?” Garrus asked, tapping her shoulder and she realized that she was staring at her pile of armor. She looked at her hands, still traces of blood on her, and then the stains on her gear. She felt a bit guilty thinking that she needed to wash them off.
“Hmm? Oh. Sure. A bit tired. Can’t feel my arms,” she offered with a tired grin, looking up at the turian. “I’ll be fine.”
Garrus nodded reassuringly, and Ashley reluctantly stood, shaking the cramps from her limbs.

“I just need a shower. Several.”
***
She did pick up her gear, dragged it over to the decontamination tanks and dumped the whole thing into the bath, setting the timer before sauntering off to the showers, where she stood under the steaming hot water for a long time until she started feeling human again.
Her mind wandered, replaying everything the last intense months brought, especially the parts about Miranda. It was all so bizarre… Being grown in a petri dish to start a dynasty, destined to be perfect at everything from birth. Having Henry Lawson for a father and then run away to become second-in-command to the most dangerous human in the Galaxy.
She felt queasy just thinking about what Miranda’s father did and how that made her think differently about Miranda Lawson. She started to doubt her feelings about her, and considered just staying out of the Lawson sisters’ way until they went their separate ways.
Not that Oriana was responsible for her father’s action, but Miranda did have a long list of charges against her on the System Alliance’s Most Wanted board. Can you really take out the megalomania and the dubious morality from a child who was programmed to be following in her father’s footsteps?
Ashley turned off the water and stood there, dripping in the shower, her hands on the tap, until she started shivering.
The answer was obvious, and she didn’t even have to recall Shepard’s words about Miranda’s choices. Helping her father to raise her three younger sisters, Ashley knew exactly what it meant to take care of them and she knew she would have done anything to protect them.
And as the granddaughter of a disgraced general, Ashley Williams was also well aware of the stigma that followed her family. And her grandfather actually didn’t do anything wrong. Still, Ashley did choose to enroll in the Navy, just like her father, almost asking for more humiliation no matter how stellar her performance was. She remembered telling Shepard a lifetime ago, how a Williams had to be better than the best. If anybody, Ashley knew how nobody should be held accountable for their father’s sins.
Maybe she had more in common with Miranda than she thought.
Ashley blinked the water from her eyes, swept her wet hair from her face and stepped out from the shower. She toweled off thoroughly, rubbing away the last traces of Horizon.
She dressed up and walked out into the mess hall, her hair still damp, but at least she felt more like herself. Vega and Garrus were sitting at a table, wolfing down some rations to replenish the lost calories, sitting in silence, staring thoughtfully at the darkened windows of the medbay. The other marine nodded to her, pointing to a plate with some food on it that he thoughtfully prepared for her. That made Ashley realized how hungry she was.
“Thanks, Vega,” she mumbled, dropping down next to the man and attacked the food with the ferocity of someone who hasn’t eaten in days.
“So how was your swim?” Vega asked with a grin.

“What?”

“You were in there for so long we thought we might have to send in divers to recover you.”
Ashley snorted, rolling her eyes, her mouth full. “I had to scrub off the filth. I’ve had enough of Horizon for the rest of my life.” She shot a glance at the medbay and glanced at Vega nonchalantly. “So, any news?”
“She’s gonna be fine,” Garrus replied. “Chakwas was out here a few minutes ago. She said it went smooth, no complications. The sister gave blood, so she needed some food. They’re both resting.”
Ashley nodded. “Good. No losses, then.”

“That’s always a win in my book,” Vega added thoughtfully.
“What about the data?”

“Shepard is talking with Hackett. They think they located The Illusive Man’s hideout. They’re preparing for a serious assault, but it will take time to put a strike force together.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ashley replied and returned to her food.
Garrus and Vega continued talking quietly about strategies and next steps, but Ashley was only half-listening. Chewing her food thoughtfully her eyes often wandered towards the medical bay and wished she could see through walls.
***
It was very frustrating to pretend being casual and paying attention to everything, while looking for the opportunity to slip into the medbay and talk to Miranda alone. There just didn’t seem to be a window of opportunity. Oriana barely left her side, Chakwas practically lived there anyway, and Ashley did not want to make a complete fool out of herself in front of the Normandy crew right now. She was also not ready to be gossip-fodder, until she figured out if there was anything to be gossiping about.
At one point, Shepard pulled her aside and discreetly asked her to make sure Tali was all right.

“She got a bit drunk,” he chuckled.

“How did she manage that?” Ashley asked, bemused.

“Very carefully. And with a straw.”

“Oh.”
“Yeah. Apparently, she took it hard that Miranda managed to stand up to her father.”

“Oh?” Ashley repeated, this time with her eyebrows raised. “How is that a bad thing?” she added defensively.
Shepard gave her a curious look, but then just shrugged.

“It’s another long story. Tali’s father did some… questionable things and Tali felt too loyal to him. It cost her her reputation. Among other things.”

Ashley nodded solemnly.

“I can relate to that.”

“I thought you might,” Shepard said, putting a hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “I know you were good friends, back then. Maybe you can help her put her mind at ease a bit.”
“When do we get to stop reacting to our parents and start living for ourselves?” Ashley mused, finding herself in a philosophical mood.

Shepard looked at her strangely.

“That’s exactly what she said.”
“I’m surprised she took it so hard.”

Shepard snorted. “That’s what I said to her.”

Ashley smiled, maybe the first time she came aboard the Normandy and patted Shepard on the shoulder.

“I got it, Skipper. I’ll hold her head while she pukes.”

“Thanks, Ash.”
She ended up drinking with Tali, making sure the quarian’s glass was never full, so she wouldn’t get any more wasted than she already was. Of course it meant that Ashley had to do most of the drinking, and they exchanged stories about family obligations and how much it sucked. It turned out Tali wasn’t so much jealous, but rather she respected Miranda for doing what she, and to some extent, Ashley couldn’t do. Well, maybe they were more jealous after Ashley got a bit more to drink, but they drank to Miranda nonetheless.
She managed to keep Tali from being sick and finally led the her to the couch to lie down while the quarian girl shared maybe a bit too much information about her affection for Garrus and kept repeating how much she liked Ashley, who was like a sister to her. Ashley watched her until she finally passed out. Her head buzzing from the alcohol she stared out the observation deck’s window at the stars. She was feeling good and a bit light-headed, and wondered about their little chat. About obligations and about perceptions. She made a mental note to speak to Tali once she sobered up and encourage her to talk to Garrus.
She might have zoned out for a minute or so, trying to get her rambling thoughts in order until she finally took a deep breath, tore her gaze away from the stars and checked on Tali one last time before standing up, spinning on her heels and marched out of the observation deck.
Her purposeful steps lead her to the medical bay and without stopping to think, she opened the door and stepped inside. Her alcohol-fueled courage took her straight to Miranda’s bed and only then did she start to hesitate. Oriana was sitting in a chair, reading something quietly, and looked up curiously when Ashley stormed in, but the marine ignored her.
Miranda was awake, still a little bit pale and looking sleepy from the drugs. Here we are again, Ashley thought. Saving Miranda and trying to talk to her when she’s still recovering. On second thought, I should have waited until she was better, she mused, but there was no stopping now.
Ashley stood at the side of her bed, looking her over, eyes trying to focus past the haze of the alcohol and she was at a loss for words. Miranda looked frail, but beautiful. She looked back at Ashley sleepily, flashing her a weak smile. Ashley tilted her head, her gaze slowly traveled from her face to her wounded side, her hand hovering uncertainly above Miranda’s hand.
“I’m going to be fine,” Miranda whispered warmly, taking Ashley’s hand.
Ashley looked up at her, eyes foggy, and maybe it was not just the alcohol.

“I couldn’t say goodbye,” she blurted out finally, skipping several steps in the speech she constructed in her jumbled mind. “I just couldn’t.”
Miranda sighed, closing her eyes and nodding once.

“I understand.”

“I wish you had told me about– about all this,” Ashley waved around uncertainly.

“I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

“Huh? What?” Ashley shook her head. Maybe she was a bit slow from being a bit drunk, but it still didn’t make sense to her.

Even Oriana raised an eyebrow as she watched the two of them, still trying to figure out what was going on.
“Oh, you mean because–” Ashley blurted out as the penny dropped, waving with one hand as she tried to put her conclusion into words sluggishly “–because your father was–”

“Yes.”

“Ah,” Ashley said, confused.
“Are you drunk?” Miranda asked suspiciously.

“No. Yes. Maybe. A little.”
There was a painful expression on Miranda’s face, but at least she didn’t try to pull her hand away.

“So you needed to get drunk before you gathered enough courage to visit me?” she asked in an unfathomable tone. Ashley suspected that it might have been hurt.
She silently cursed herself for barging in like this, thinking about only herself and not considering what Miranda has just been through and still recovering. Just like the first time they met on the Citadel.

“Shit, no. No, no,” she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Oriana stood up with a frown on her face, walking up to the bed, ready to intervene. “It’s okay, no, really,” Ashley said, lifting a hand up to calm Oriana down.

“I mean, I wanted to, I really did. I just– probably shoulda waited,” she squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her teeth. “I’m sorry. I should go. Maybe later–”
“Wait,” Oriana said, looking meaningfully from Miranda to Ashley.

Ashley stopped, still holding Miranda’s hand and looked at the younger sister nervously.

“Thank you… Ashley. For saving Miranda,” the girl said solemnly.

Ashley nodded, shrugging awkwardly.

“Just, you know, doing my job.”

Oriana smiled. “I know.” Ashley started to shift on her feet, eyes darting back and forth between the sisters. “Now. What did you want to tell my sister?” she continued after a short pause, a smile creeping into the corners of her mouth.
Miranda glared at Oriana in surprise before turning towards Ashley.
“I-uh… you know, I was drinking with Tali, you know. That’s why I’m here. I mean, she got a bit drunk, so I went to–” Ashley started, not sure whom to look at. She took a deep breath, finally settling on Miranda and looked into her tired, blue eyes. “I guess she wished she had the strength to stand up to the expectations and to her father’s legacy like you did. I mean, she said, uh–” damn, the worst time ever to be drunk, Ashley thought. She let out an exasperated sigh. “Tali respects you, too, Miranda. I mean, she got drunk because– And not just her. And, that's why, you know, don’t confuse pity with empathy. Yeah.”

“She’s right, you know,” Oriana chimed in softly, looking at Miranda.
Before Miranda could reply, Ashley lifted her hand a bit and clutched it a bit tighter, trying to give more gravity to her words.

“I mean, sure, you know, knowing about your dad and– and your sister. I mean, I have sisters, too, you know. And my dad– I mean, because of my grandfather–” Ashley shook her head again, trying to untangle her thoughts and her tongue. “I guess what I mean, is that I get it. And yes, it probably would have made me… care about you more than… But it’s a good thing. And like it or not, despite your father, you managed… all this,” Ashley waved around, including Oriana and the whole ship.
“You are pretty drunk,” Oriana said with a soft smile, before looking at Miranda again.

“And she saved my life, too,” Ashley added eagerly, explaining it to Oriana now.
“I wish you would have come, Ashley,” Miranda spoke finally, glancing at her from the corner of her eyes before casting her eyes down.

“I know. I’m sorry, Miranda.”

Miranda shrugged. “It surprised me how… attached I got. I’m not good at attached.”

“Me neither!” Ashley exclaimed, maybe a bit louder than she intended to. “I mean, I didn’t know what I wanted. It would have been so– I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want it to be just a fling.”
She squeezed Miranda’s hand gently, trying to keep her emotions in check. Miranda looked up at her nervously.

“And now you know?”

Ashley leaned closer to Miranda, their faces inches from each other and looked deep into her eyes.

“No,” she laughed softly. “But I want to find out.”
Their lips met, softly at first, a sudden relief coming over Ashley as she exhaled, the sensation almost making her chest burst. Oh, how she needed this! She could tell Miranda felt the same way, too, as her lips responded, parting as they searched for each other in that kiss, tongues probing, pressing their mouth together, taking deep breaths.

Ashley felt Miranda’s warm palm touch her cheek and she laughed into her mouth, feeling her eyes moisten. Maybe it was just the alcohol making her emotional, but it felt right anyway.
They surfaced for air after a long time, searching each other’s foggy eyes, both of them blinking rapidly, Ashley feeling her cheeks burn.

“I’m not sure what this is. But I need to know,”she whispered.

Miranda nodded, caressing her cheek gently.

“You know that this will also end in a goodbye.”

“For now.”
They kissed again, getting lost in each other’s taste and touch.

“Uh, Randa…” Oriana said quietly, looking at them with an awkward expression on her face. She didn’t want to interrupt them, but she couldn’t help noticing several crewmembers, including the turian and the other marine staring in through the window, jaws dropped.
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Need to Know