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I See Alphys, I See Francis	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > UnderTale Views: 1982 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The video game Undertale and all of its respective characters and settings belong exclusively to Toby Fox and his affiliates. This is a non-profit fanwork with no intention of infringing on said copyright.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
ISAISF 8
"Okay, seriously, let us NEVER speak of that little fiasco again!" Alphys shuddered as she and Francis ran straight back into her lab and used their phones to lock the front door behind them.
"Aw, whatever, man, you KNOW it was freaking hilarious! Don't lie!" Francis laughed, shrugging his shoulders smugly as Alphys took off his jetpack and hers and stuffed both of them right back into her pocket.
"Whatever, man...anyway, which would you rather do: stay up with me all night, or just go to bed with me right now and get this whole utterly ridiculous mess of a date over with already?" Alphys sighed, shrugged, groaned and reluctantly asked Francis, who scratched his chin and stared contemplatively at Alphys for all of about three seconds before finally raising his finger into EUREKA position!
"Alphys, PLEASE; why WOULDN'T I want to stay up all night with you, especially on our first DATE? You of all people should know by now that that is SERIOUSLY NOT the weeaboo way, you silly GOOSE!" Francis teasingly chuckled at her rather embarrassing expense, slapping her on the back so hard that it caused her to accidentally spit out her loose wisdom tooth (and shriek in pain as a result, naturally) and ruffling her quills with his hand until they were all hideously disfigured and jutting out in hilariously mismatched directions...just like her dad, of course!
"DAD, I SWEAR TO CHRIST, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU..." Alphys growled furiously under her breath and hissed like a snake at Francis, causing him to jump back and flinch in fearful surprise as she crossed her arms over her chest and sternly glared at him.
"My dear ever-loving GOD, girl; seriously, if looks could kill, you would be able to literally one-shot Asgore!" Francis stammered very disturbedly, cowering up against the wall and giving Alphys a "seriously, what in the actual hell is wrong with you?" type of look.
MEANWHILE, INSIDE FRANCIS' BRAIN...
"Poor kid...man, if only I hadn't spent all of my fucking parenting money on GODDAMNED HEROIN!" Burgerpants thought to himself, writhing wildly on the floor and clutching his head and scratching bloody claw marks into the sides of it on the last few words of his sentence.
"Well, anyway...tell me, neko-cakes, do you perhaps like...a-anime?" Francis anxiously crossed his legs (like Alphys), adorably held his arms out in front of him like a little baby dinosaur (just like Alphys), and nervously, stammeringly asked her, sweating all the while (do I even need to explain?) while Burgerpants smirked, curled the outer ends of his V-slanted eyebrows into grotesque swirl shapes, and rubbed his hands together evilly, squinted his eyes smarmily and grinned like an alligator from cheek to cheek with delightfully eager anticipation of what he was very obviously right about to suggest to poor Alphys for movie night.
"Uh...yeah? Who exactly DO you think you're talking to, again?" Alphys asked Francis confusedly, already ever-so-slightly weirded out by how much Francis was starting to deliberately imitate her.
"Why, only the absolute biggest Mew Mew fan in the whole damned WORLD besides me, of course!" Francis boasted arrogantly, standing up tall, posing flamboyantly, and placing his hand over his chest proudly while Alphys just continued staring at him, cocking an eyebrow in sudden realization of what he was almost certainly about to say and apprehensively raising one of her index fingers (the right one, to be exact) at him.
"I don't LIKE where this is going!" Alphys warned Francis nervously, waving her finger at him teasingly and placing her other hand sassily on the corresponding left hip while Francis bit his lip and glanced back and forth paranoidly (suddenly growing temporary pupils on his eyes again, for whatever strange and mildly disturbing reason) as he sneakily tiptoed his way over to Alphys' movie cabinet.
"Stop!" Alphys reflexively commanded Francis, running over hastily to her movie cabinet, pressing her back against it and blocking it on either side with her arms while Francis snidely shoved her out of the way, opened up the doors to the filing cabinet and eagerly looked inside.
"SAY, cutie-pie, would you like to watch-"
"Stop!" Alphys commanded Francis a second time (noticeably louder this time, in fact), grabbing his slimy, filthy right hand and slamming it forcefully into the base of the Mew Mew shelf right in mid-reach for her reluctantly retrieved-from-the-garbage-dump copy of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2!
"-Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 with me?" Francis asked Alphys teasingly, glaring seductively at her and fluttering his ugly nerdy eyelashes at her and lovingly kissing her on the cheek, causing her to blush with profound flattery and meekly loosen her grip on Francis' hand, giving him just enough time to reach into the shelf a second time, grab the Mew Mew 2 DVD Z and yank it right out!
"STOP!" Alphys screamed at Francis in absolute terror, leaping onto his shoulders and desperately attempting to pry the DVD case right out of his hands with her own...but alas, it was to absolutely no avail, as she soon learned after pointlessly and needlessly exhausting what little strength and stamina she had in the first place in a battle that she literally couldn't win.
"Are you done yet?" Francis smirked teasingly at Alphys, grabbing her by the resultingly blushing tip of her tail, dropping her face-down onto the floor and securely pinning her underneath his massive chameleon foot.
"FRANCIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO YOU EVEN FREAKING REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW?!" Alphys screamed and cried, throwing a literal HISSY-fit (nope, not sorry) and pounding her feet and fists on the floor just like Chris Chan would after getting his Sonichu blow-up doll taken away (fittingly enough, honestly).
"MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE 2 IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! I DON'T GIVE TWO SH%#S IF IT ACTUALLY GOT REALLY GOOD REVIEWS FROM THE GENERAL PUBLIC! I JUST ABSOLUTELY F%# ING HATE IT!" Alphys ranted her head off in a profoundly childish fit of pure unadulterated (not to mention un-adult-WORTHY) autistic nerd rage as she clutched her head and squirmed wildly on the floor like a tortured animal (which, technically, she was, bit still).
"But WHY, though? Isn't it supposed to be, like, one of the best Japanese animated films since Purr Purr Smoochy Hottie 1?" Francis pointed out and asked Alphys curiously, suddenly being oddly reminded of Cave Story for whatever reason while Alphys continued pathetically writhing around on the floor, his humongous sweaty foot being literally the only thing holding her in place.
"DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE FRICKING FAN FRICKS; THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT PROPER TASTE IN ANIME IS! MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE 2 WAS A FILM THAT ABSOLUTELY DEFILED EVERYTHING THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE FIRST ONE BACK WHEN I WAS TEN YEARS OLD AND THEREFORE STILL DO NOW! THE GRAPHICS AND ANIMATION WERE ABSOLUTE F^#%ING HORSESH#% ON AN INDIGO-LEAGUE POKÉSTICK, IT WAS F*#%ING LAZILY THROWN TOGETHER, I HAD TO WAIT EIGHT GODDAMNED YEARS FOR IT, THE CHARACTERS WERE ALL REDUCED INTO UTTERLY WORTHLESS, FORCED-MEME-SPOUTING F%#&ING CARICATURES OF STEREOTYPES, AND WORST OF ALL, THE F%#&ING SH^%-FACED STUDIO BEHIND THE CREATION OF THIS UNHOLY F*^#ING ABOMINATION ACTUALLY HAD THE F%#&ING NERVE TO CHARGE TEN F*%#ING DOLLARS FOR IT! SERIOUSLY, TEN F#%&ING DOLLARS FOR THIS ABSOLUTELY ROTTEN PILE OF SH%#?! I SAY, WHAT THE F#%& EVEN IS LIFE ANYMORE?! ALL I KNOW IS, I'VE F%#&ING HAD IT! THAT'S IT, ABSOLUTELY NO MORE! I'M F%#&ING DONE HERE! PLEASE JUST F%#&ING END ME ALREADY, WOULD YOU?!" Alphys literally ranted herself to sleep while Francis used his phone to voice-record her review of the film with disturbingly pitch-perfect accuracy and jokingly post it onto the film's Metacritic page, giving the film a 0/10 rating in the process while Alphys panted and moaned in exhaustion from how big of a temper-tantrum she had just thrown over not agreeing with someone else's choice of movie to watch.
"Man, would you just LOOK at yourself?" Francis sighed, looking down at his lazily sprawled-out-on-the-floor daughter...I mean, girlfriend...and shaking his head in utter disappointment.
"Over in Snowdin...hell, even out here in Hotland, it seems, kids are playing outside, having fun with each other, and probably being more mature than both of us combined now that I think about it...and here you are throwing a f%#&ing one-year-old temper tantrum to rival the goddamned HOLOCAUST...all over someone picking a movie that's slightly less good than your absolute favorite f%#&ing one in the whole goddamned WORLD?!" Burgerpants screamed furiously at Alphys through Francis' voice-control microphone, shaking his fist threateningly at her and seething with rage.
"Son, I may not know much about how to properly raise a child...or anything of the sort, really...but what I most certainly DO know, just for the record, is that on days like these, what spoiled little brats like YOU oughta be getting is a nice big SPANKING if anything! C'MERE, YOU MOTHERF%#&ER!" Francis yelled furiously at Alphys, reaching down angrily, lifting his foot up from off of her poor aching back, grabbing her by the tail, scooping her up into his arms, forcing her into optimal spanking position and repeatedly, forcefully, painfully smacking her fat, bloated, adorably firm and tender little dino ass-cheeks with his scrawny, freakishly bony lizard hand.
"OW! OWW...OWWWWW...OOH, THAT FEELS SO GOOOD...OH BABY, YES...PLEASE KEEP GOING...PLEASE...FOR MY SAKE, DADDY..." Alphys began moaning with pleasure while Burgerpants cringed several inches backward in his seat, blushed immensely in second-hand embarrassment and squinted his lower eyelids in utter confusion and outright disgust at just how much of a truly demented slut his poor psychotic bitch of a daughter really was.
"You know what, I think I'll just see whatever this big red shiny button over here is supposed to do, and then just let Francis take it from there!" Burgerpants decided as he relucantly reached over onto the far right side of Francis' central control dashboard and pressed the aforementioned button, closing his eyes and holding his breath as he began internally praying to God that he HADN'T just accidentally pressed Francis' self-destruct button.
"HUH?! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!" Burgerpants gasped in surprise as some kind of weird-looking scanning device suddenly came out of a secret compartment just above the central control computer's screen and scanned him thoroughly from head to jellybean toes and everything in between! "HEY, STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! WHAT, ARE YOU FREAKING GAY OR SOME SH#%?!"
"OHHHHHHHH, MYYYYYYYY..." Francis moaned, feeling a sudden ticklish sensation deep within his brain as his entire body began converting itself from fat and disgustingly squishy to skinny and handsomely muscular while Burgerpants' jaw dropped to the floor in absolute disbelief.
"Heh heh heh...hey, Alphys, take a look at me NOW!" Francis laughed teasingly at Alphys as he finally finished literally kissing her pink, sore and tender ass and set her back down onto her feet...much to his surprise, however, Alphys really didn't have much of a reaction after looking up at him.
"Oh, so you're SKINNY and HANDSOME now...COOL, I guess..." Alphys groaned, sighed and rolled her eyes disappointedly. "Honestly, after the sh%# I've been through lately, that really doesn't surprise me in the slightest..." she looked down at the floor irritatedly, crossed her arms over her chest and muttered to herself under her breath while Francis crossed his now-noticeably-more-muscular arms behind his silky-smooth back and crossed his now-even-longer-and-spindlier (and also standing-straight-up) legs awkwardly in confusion.
"Hmph! Not GOOD enough for you, huh? Well then, how about THIS?!" Francis growled frustratedly as he literally ripped his dorky old Mario shirt (which was now dangling all the way down to his feet and spreading itself all over the floor around him like a comically oversized women's skirt) right off, revealing quite possibly the single hottest body she had ever seen on anyone besides Burgerpants! (That moment approximately five seconds later when she realized that it actually WAS just a computer-generated genetic imitation of Burgerpants' body structure tho...)
"Well? What do you think? Do I make you HORNY or what?" Francis teasingly smirked and winked at her, flexing his oily, sweaty muscles and posing sexily as the positively ridiculous amount of nose blood that Alphys had just sprayed all over his chest trickled slowly but surely down his finely toned pectoral muscles, fabulously shapen abdominal muscles and everything in between.
"OHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSS..." Alphys moaned and blushed rosy-pink across her entire face with humiliated arousal, squirting out a huge nasty puddle of female ejaculatory fluid all over her just-recently-mopped floor tiles as she exhaustedly placed the back of her left hand over her forehead, dizzily fainted head-over-heels onto the floor and passed out into unconsciousness!
"I take it that's a YES..." Francis sighed, blushing with embarrassment and second-hand shame as he picked up Alphys with one hand (not even remotely breaking a sweat this time), grabbed her Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 DVD with the other and headed back downstairs excitedly.
- 7
- 8
- 9
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I See Alphys, I See Francis