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The love life of a Hero	By : Lisachan Category: Zelda > Het - Male/Female Views: 3839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Legend of Zelda does not belong to me, no profit is being made from this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Chapter 8: What’s a cervix?

It was somewhere next week, and Link and Ivee had climbed the hill up to the Tech Lab. They could’ve fast travelled there, but they both liked their exercise. Purah was happy to see them, eagerly showing Ivee around. “Please, don’t mind the mess. I was gonna clean up a bit, but ah, you know. Do sit down. It’s quite a climb all the way up here. Linky! Now is no time to be tinkering with your Sheikah Slate!”
Ivee chuckled. That nickname was so funny.
“I just wanted to see if there were any updates available,” Link complained.
“I can tell you there are none. Now, sit. Can I offer you a drink or a snack?” Purah said, once they all sat. “Symin!”
“No, we’re fine,” Ivee politely declined. “In fact, it would be nice if we could talk in private.”
“Sure. Symin, can you go do something? Outside or upstairs? Go find some shrooms for dinner, okay?” Once Symin had shut the door behind him, Purah was the first one to speak again. “Are you pregnant?”
Ivee and Link looked at each other like teenagers who’d indeed gotten themselves into trouble.
Purah hugged her fists against her chest. “I knew it!” she chirped. “Have you been a naughty boy, Linky?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what would be naughty about ensuring your offspring.”
“Hm, you’re quite right. The Hero of Legends needs a successor. Although, you did do it before you’re married.” Purah tisked and wagged her finger. “Such naughty children.”
“Can you please keep it a secret? That I’m pregnant,” Ivee said.
“Oh, I’m joking, of course. Nowadays, women don’t save themselves any more. Times have changed.” She grabbed both their hands over the table. That is to say, she was going to, but her short arms couldn’t reach. Well, it’s the thought that counts. “Congratulations, you two.”
Ivee sighed with relief. “Thanks. Are you sure, though. Mum seemed to be a bit embarrassed about it.”
“Yes, well, being with child, or worse yet, having a child before marriage is still a bit delicate. But anyhow, I think I know what you’re here for.”
“Can we still have sex when I’m pregnant?”
“Oh, of course! In fact, I suggest you have as much sex as you possibly can, coz once that kid is out, sex is history.”
Horrified, Link and Ivee looked at each other. “Well, I’m sure my parents would want to look after it sometimes,” Ivee hopefully said.
“Hm yes, I suppose you’re right.” Purah had taken her notepad, and started scribbling. They didn’t know what. “See Ivee, now that you’re pregnant, all kinds of hormones will be activated in your body. There might be times when you have a pretty insatiable desire for sex, and at times like that, not having sex would be pretty maddening. Just, listen to what your body tells you. If you feel any discomfort or pain, obviously, it might not be a good idea. Try a different position, and if the pain continues, then yes, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to find other ways to attain a sexual release. And of course, as the pregnancy progresses, don’t be too forceful about it. But you probably don’t need me telling you that, you can figure that out by yourself, right?”
Link had stopped looking at her since quite a while. He figured that his face was hot enough to spontaneously combust, any time now. Even though from his point of view, he didn’t really know Purah that long yet, from what Purah had been telling him, she’d put him in the Shrine of Resurrection. If she cared enough to do that, then that must mean they’d been pretty close before. All this sex talk was very dreadful to him. Not only that, but it seemed very wrong to discuss these kinds of things with someone who looked like a six year old. 124 years old, 124 years old, Link kept on repeating in his head. “There was also… Uhm… I was wondering...” he carefully piped up.
“What’s the problem, dear?” Purah smiled.
Ivee sympathetically rubbed his back. Talking about sex with Purah must’ve felt the same to him as it did when she talked about sex with her mum. “Link has this idea that, when he comes...” Ivee had to suppress a little laugh. “You say it.”
Link bravely sighed. Out with it. “I have this image that it will be drenched in my semen.”
Purah rubbed her fingers against her chin, trying very hard not to conjure up such an image. Her eyes connected with Ivee’s, and there she could read: “See what I mean?”. “Yes, I see. Well, you needn’t worry about that! You see, the foetus, as it is called, is protected by this kind of sac. This sac not only protects the child, but also provides it from oxygen and nutrients. Other than that, the cervix is closed. Nothing can possibly reach it, and it will only open up again when it’s ready to come out.” All this with exuberant hand gestures.
Ivee rubbed her hand over Link’s back again. “Happy now?”
Link nodded decidedly. “Yes. Thank you, Purah.”
“Anytime, my dear.”
“What’s a cervix?”
“That is where your semen has to get through to make the baby.”
“And that is closed?”
“That is closed.”
“Okay.”
Ivee put her head on his shoulder and hugged him. “You’re so adorable.” She then continued to Purah: “Mum says you could deliver the baby.”
“Ah yes. I delivered you and Azu. Would you like me to?”
“Very much.”
“Then so it shall be.”
“Thank you.” She peeled herself away from Link and pushed her chair back. “Well, guess we’ll leave you to your work then. Mum said you were working on a new project.”
“Indeed, I am,” Purah said. “Although Ivee, there are still some things I want to discuss with you.”
Link had already stood up and was heading for the door, then upon hearing this, turned around again.
“You go on ahead, love,” Purah said, making shooing hand gestures towards Link from where she was still sitting at the table. “Girly stuff.” She waited until Link had closed the door, making sure to hear it clicking into place. Then she directed her attention back to Ivee, her eyes intent on getting all the dirt. “So tell me, from woman to woman. How is he?”
“Oh Purah…” Ivee sighed, dreamily staring ahead. “He makes love the same way he fights: passionate and dedicated.”
“Thought you were gonna say violent and painful.”
Ivee laughed heartily. “Goodness no! Well, violent, sometimes.” She inhaled deeply, resting her chin on both her hands. “I must admit that it’s safe to say he’ll never win the title of Greatest Dancer, as you’ve probably seen on my mum’s birthday party and our wedding. And he can be a bit dim-witted sometimes. But other than that… He’s a dream come true. They say that nobody’s perfect, but he’s pretty damn close. You know, this is just between you and me, but sometimes, when he’s out on the field, he touches himself.”
Purah’s mouth fell open. “He does?” Out came the notepad. “Sexual desires still intact. Wits, not so much. Dancing skills, ditto. Other than that, close to perfection.”
Ivee chuckled. “Yes, he told me that. When they lay him to sleep somewhere, and he’s lonely. Or, sometimes, he wakes up with it too. You know, a hard on.”
“Oh! Why, I may be old, but that’s a very entertaining idea, indeed,” Purah said, fanning herself with her notepad. “Well, it must be quite inconvenient to fight with this, ahum, thing in his trousers. So I suppose he must.”
“He must,” Ivee nodded.
They laughed together, as gossiping women would, and then Ivee’s gaze settled on Purah with a look of endless gratitude. Without her, Link wouldn’t even be here now. “Thank you for rescuing him, back then.”
Purah pulled up her shoulders, as if dragging a person to the Great Plateau was something she did every day. “It was the least I could do. It was a tough time, for all of us, but my heart really went out to him. You know, without all his weapons, and armour, he looked so vulnerable. Not like a Hero at all. More like a boy you want to take home and cuddle to death.”
Ivee thought of the way Link looked when he was sleeping, and sighed. “I know what you mean. At times like that, I feel sorry for him, for not being able to lead a normal life.”
“Yes. Being the Chosen One is a real honour, but at the same time it’s also a curse. But it is what it is.”
“Hmm...” As if a jolt ran through her body, Ivee suddenly veered up in her chair. “So, what’s this new project you’re working on anyway?”
Purah chuckled in an almost scheming kind of way. “That is still a se-cret.”
“Aw, that’s not cool,” Ivee pouted. “After I have told you about Link’s dirty little secrets.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to jinx it with any premature enthusiasm.”
“Okay, I understand.” She stood up and headed for the door. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Thanks for the talk and good luck with the project.”
“Thanks, love. Do stop by again.”
“Will do.”
Back outside, Ivee slid her arm around her new husband, and they bid their farewell to Symin.
“You were talking about me, weren’t you?” Link said.
“Surely, you weren’t just discussing the weather with Symin, either,” Ivee retorted. “But yes, we were talking about you. Purah has known you from before your Slumber of Restoration, so she cares for you. I can tell that she’s genuinely happy that, after all the hardships you had to endure back then, and now still, that finally good things are happening for you.”
“It is quite striking how Purah reacted exactly the same way as your mother when we wanted to announce you’re pregnant.”
“Right?”
Ivee had noticed that there’d been this kind of softness in his eyes when he looked at Purah. Even though he couldn’t remember now, before his century long slumber, he’d spent time with Purah. She had been the one who’d rescued him when he had been fatally wounded. Of course, Ivee couldn’t get inside of Link’s head, so she didn’t know for sure. But she figured that perhaps, Link saw her as a kind of mother figure. Someone who watched over him.
“Purah said that during your pregnancy, there might be times when you’re more in the mood for sex,” Link pondered. “That must explains why you were so feisty during our wedding night.”
“Yeah, strange phenomenon those hormones, they are.”

To be continued...
- 7
- 8
- 9
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The love life of a Hero