In good times and in bad | By : kruemel Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 14749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction |
It's a mystery how we got here into the captain's office, all dressed up as new recruits and without anybody yet noticing our escape from the dungeons. We've been lying like troopers - okay, mostly Rori. My flustered stammering and stuttering would have gotten us back into a cell before I got a single sentence put together. Once we got out of the cell, she visibly pulled herself together and kicked herself back into functioning, dragging me along as she picked locks, stole clothes and weapons and then had the nerve to pretend she was a guard. Leliana would be so proud of her!
Thankfully, we both have a whole lot of practice when it comes to walking along the edge. The trick is not to stumble. And if you do, better not let it show.
Standing in the office now, my nerves are on edge and so are Rori's. We are like two sheep in wolf's clothing and I expect to get eaten anytime soon. I wish I could hold her hand but I fear the gesutre would betray our true identity.
The captain, a broadshouldered weatherbeaten man, looks us all in the faces, scrutinizing the group of recruits in front of him thoroughly. Maker! He has to notice who we are. Our faces are all plastered across the wall behind his desk where he pinned our wanted posters. The other recruits all stare at the wall behind their captain. I really do hope they are as absent minded as I used to be during templar troup inspections. I sweat so badly, I practically swim in my armour.
"Aren't you a bit small for a guard?" the captain drones at spotting Rori amongst his recruits. I wince when he addresses her, squeezing my eyes shut. This is it. We're doomed...
"Size is not what makes a good guard, ser," Rori promptly answers in an awfully strained voice, keeping herself as straightened as she can possibly manage. She's still trembling but the captain doesn't seem to notice.
"Right," he nods, pleased with her answer. "You, yes, the blonde guy, what is it a guard should never forget?"
Huh? Who? I? Blast! What am I supposed to say? Something bright, something, something...
"Err... his discipline?" I stammer same time as Rori prompts 'honour' in a low whisper.
"Hmph, you aren't as stupid as you look... Haven't I seen you before?" the captain asks with squinted eyes as he leans across his desk for a closer view.
I squirm. Rori looks as if she was about to faint. "Err..."
Doom!
DOOM!
A knock at the door distracts the captain. "What is it?" he asks the entering guard.
"Ser Cauthrien sends you this list of names, ser."
"Ahh, what did they do this time?" the captain sighs as he scans the names, bringing his eyes so close to the paper that his nose almost touches it. Merciful Andraste! Fortune indeed favours fools! The man is short-sighted. Rori next to me heaves a sigh of relief.
"Attempted violation of a female prisoner, ser."
"Again? Suspend them for two weeks... no, wait, make it one. Don't have enough men anyway. If I had, this scum wouldn't be working here." His eyes meet Rori's when he throws the list back onto his desk and he furrows his brow. "Anything you want to say, recruit?"
"No, ser," Rori presses through gritted teeth. I so know what she's thinking. One blasted week of suspension? He has to be kidding! That's neither disciplined nor is it honourable behaviour. They should be rotting in the very same cell they tossed us in...
"Fine, now go out there and remember you represent Denerim's law and order. I want you to always keep that in mind and act to it," the captain instructs us. "I don't need any more troublemakers, do you hear me?"
We are dismissed when the captain turns his back on us. As he is frowning at our wanted posters now, we make sure to get away quickly. I'm not going to test my luck. Only Rori dawdles. I catch her stealing the list of names from the desk - together with a pair of glasses lying right beneath the sheet of paper - when I turn back to beckon her to hurry up. On closing the door I hear the captain mutter: "Now, where did I leave my glasses this time?"
My heart beats so fast, I fear it could break right out of my ribcage when we near the first gate. I can hardly hold myself back from repeatingly looking over my shoulder or stop my feet from running. Rori is shifting her weight nervously until I nudge her side. The recruits we have joined, give the right password - the gate opens and we stare right in the faces of Zevran and Leliana.
Ha! They sent the Sneaky Squad for our rescue. Good choice.
Rori gasps but turns it into a cough while I bite back a foolish grin and grab my own arm to stop myself from waving. Zevran and Leliana stay professionally unperturbed, not showing any signs of recognition as we walk past them. Assassins and bards! Creepy folks!
The alarm is raised the moment we walk through the main gates. Zevran and Leliana just make it out behind us before the gates are slammed shut. I do hope they waste some time on searching for us inside Fort Drakon. Preferably as much time as it takes us to return to Arl Eamon's.
"Andraste's flaming sword! Fortune favours fools! I never thought we'd make it!" I murmur once we've gotten rid of our fellow recruits - I'm afraid they are going to have a major headache and a whole lot to explain. "You came to rescue us..."
"Of course we did, silly boy. We couldn't just let you die, could we?" Leliana says softly as she hugs both Rori and me. "What ending would that have been for a story like yours?"
"This bitch queen threw you to the wolves and then she had second thoughts - well, about Rori. She'd have gladly left you rotting in that cell, Alistair, my friend," Zevran growls, frowning when Rori pulls the stolen list from her pocket, handing it to the assassin wordlessly. "I am still waiting for a reason not to slit her throat and toss her into the river. I haven't heard it yet." His expression goes blank as he unfolds the list and studies the names. Without saying a word, he then stuffs the paper into his mouth, chews and swallows.
"What...?" I laugh but one look at Zevran's face silences me. There's a glint in his eyes, murderous and determined that makes me shudder. It still takes me some time to finally realize what Rori has done...
Oh. Wow. Maker! She just hired an assassin... to get rid of some notorious rapists. That is... it's... it for sure saves me a lot of work. Not sure I'd have chosen Zevran but since he's not far to seek...
Zevran might have been right after all. Mine and Rori's future could provide a lot of work for him. With all the political pressure added to our Mission Impossible, I am slowly getting used to the idea of solving problems in a final way.
All the way back to the Arl of Redcliffe's estate, Rori is very silent and very pale. Meanwhile I babble a whole lot of nonesense, about how Arl Eamon once bought me a golem doll in the Wonders of Thedas, about me sleeping in the kennels and how Maric and Cailan always acted as if I didn't exist even when I was right there... The past saves me from having to deal with the presence or the future. At least for now. I'm not fool enough to believe, I can run away forever.
On our arrival at Eamon's estate, Rori first gets jumped and thrown down by her exuberant mabari who slobbers all over her face, wagging his tail happily. Then she almost gets squished by her uncle, who whirls her around and hugs her tight. "I knew you'd make it!" he laughs and cries at the same time.
"I wouldn't have without Alistair. He saved me," Rori mutters.
I wish, she hadn't said that. Next I get bear-hugged by the huge bann who declares all our differences forgiven and forgotten. He even smacks some very wet kisses to my cheeks, calls me son and insists I should have a drink with him later. For now we are awaited by Arl Eamon. He doesn't even give us the time to bath and rest, get some food and recover from what we've been through. Wynne only makes a quick check on us, scolding us all the time for being so careless, and finds we've already been magically healed. Seems as long as we're not actually dying, we're supposed to keep going...
"Maker's Breath, it's good to see you in one piece," Arl Eamon exclaims as soon as we enter the study. We are all battered and exhausted, bruised and sweaty - and Rori is bristling with anger. Where she takes the energy from is totally beyond me. I am too tired to be furious right now. Anora also rises from her seat to greet us. Unlike us she's perfectly fine and healthy but for a slightly reddish and swollen nose.
"Indeed, after your rather alarming lack of faculty, I feared the worst for you," she says with a hint of displeasure. "I prayed for your safe return."
Rori and I gasp in unison at that much impudence. Maker, how can one person be so stuck up with herself? Are all rulers like that? I recall how Teagan fought next to the people of Redcliffe as if he was one of them. He did not let them down despite the danger. He did not put himself above them, marking himself worth more because of his ranks and titles.
Perhaps I'm not too tired for being angry after all.
"That's so sweet, it almost makes me want to kill you less," Rori hisses. Oh, she is hopping mad!
"Well, what did you expect me to do?" Anora scolds her. "You announced me to my father's most trusted knight. It destroyed the purpose of my disguise when I had clearly told you before I had to fear for my safety. I barely managed to slip away from her when we reached the palace."
"Well, we did not slip away. Thanks to you!" Rori cuts Anora short. "We got dragged to Fort Drakon! Ever been there? It really is worth a visit. The guards are the epitome of friendliness..." Her voice is shaky, croaked and she's furiously blinking back her tears, wiping her nose at her sleeve. With some effort she pulls herself together, straightening as she stares Anora down.
"Didn't I make clear I feared I would be killed?" Anora says calmly as if she was explaining the obvious to a retard. For a moment it seems as if Rori was going to lunge herself at her. instead she takes one step back, her eyes glittering with contempt. Then her expression goes blank...
"Oh, of course! I do understand," Rori coos softly before Anora can go on. Her voice is as sweet as honey, low and smooth - and it gives me the creeps. Especially that smile... it's the freaking scariest smile I have ever seen on Rori. It even beats Gingersnaps' full toothed werewolf grin.
"I was afraid I could be killed when Howe and his men slaughtered everybody at Castle Cousland," Rori goes on in that dangerously low voice. "I was afraid to be killed when I fought my way through the Tower of Ishal to light a beacon that then got ignored. I was afraid to be killed when an army of undead attacked Redcliffe. Also at Kinloch Hold where I faced abominations, demons and blood mages."
Rori is stalking Anora now as if she was prey. The queen retreats one step whenever Rori makes one towards her until the wall stops her. "I was afraid to be killed when I fought some weirdo cultists and their high dragon to find the ashes of Andraste that would heal Arl Eamon's illness," Rori hisses, her voice dripping with acid now and becoming louder and louder. "And when I entered the Deep Roads, encountering giant spiders and darkspawn. And I was afraid to be killed by the werewolves in Brecillian Forest, by all the assassins your father sent after me and by Howe and his soldiers when I rescued you..."
Face to face with a rather meek and frightened Anora, Rori looks her right in the eye, shouting her last words at her. She's awfully agitated, her fists clenched at her sides, knuckles white. I almost expect her to punch the queen - again. Eamon obviously has the same thought, as he approaches Rori quickly, causing her to spin around and scowl at him icily. He tumbles backwards, expecting an attack, but she storms past him, stopping at the door where she turns back to the people gathered in the room and screams at the top of her voice:
"IF I HAD ACTED LIKE A BLASTED COWARD EVERY TIME I WAS AFRAID TO BE KILLED, NONE OF YOU WOULD BE FUCKING HERE TODAY!"
And then she leaves, slamming the door shut so forcefully that the portrait of Lady Isolde falls off the wall with a loud thud.
For a very long time, nobody dares to speak, so we can clearly hear Rori making her way through Arl Eamon's estate.
CRASH.
BOOM.
BANG.
She's obviously tearing down everything in her way, and I wince when she reaches the part where shining knight's armours line both sides of the corridor. She goes through it like a hurricane.
"I was hoping that despite our unfortunate beginning we can still work together," Anora says into the silence that follows once Rori has reached her room and slammed that door shut as well. "Will you hear me out?" she asks, turning first to Eamon and - when he nods in my direction - to me. The way she looks at me, she believes me to be no more than a fool. Somehow that makes me want to show her, I am not. At least not completely and solely.
"How about apologizing first?" I suggest, arms crossed in front of my chest.
"Apologize? What for?" Anora exclaims indignantly. "What?" she snaps at Barkley who has come to sit next to her, looking up at her with huge puppy-dog-eyes. The mabari tilts his head to one side, then nonchalantly lifts his hindleg and pees onto Anora's shoes.
Priceless! Too bad Rori isn't here anymore.
The queen yelps and stumbles backwards, scowling at the assembled people who try hard not to laugh... okay, okay, the only one who tries is Eamon. The rest - including Shale - is roaring with laughter. Sten has lifted the corners of his mouth - both corners. I consider this roaring laughter from the Qunari.
"How dare you!" Anora's face is bright red with anger. "Take that mangy dog away from me! His manners match those of his mistress."
"I am accepting contracts, you know," Zevran whispers behind me. Oh, don't you tempt me!
"Give us information of how to defeat Loghain. You promised, you'd help us, remember?" I sigh, shaking my head at the rather disappointed assassin. I'd much more like to kick her out and send her back to her father - those two really deserve each other. Perhaps they would solve our problem by killing each other. Oh, what a family! "Tomorrow will do," I cut Anora short, earning myself a furious scowl from her. "For today, I'd very much appreciate if I wasn't bothered with your presence any longer."
Yep, that was rude. Very rude. And I am going to feel bad about it... perhaps... uhm... thinking about what happened to Rori and me because of that backstabbing mean bitch, maybe no...
Maker, if Anora had backed us up, there might have been at least a chance to talk to Cauthrien! But she didn't. She only thought of herself and didn't give a damn about what would happen to us. Understandable. But it for sure doesn't make me like her better. Can someone like her really be the good queen I believed her to be? How many and how much would she sacrifice to stay in power? And would this really be solely for the sake of Ferelden? I don't know nothing about ruling, but I know one thing for sure: I would not have backstabbed the people who risked their lives to safe mine.
Blast.
Seems I do have to become king after all.
I leave, searching for Rori. It's not hard to find her. I only have to follow the trail of destruction she left behind.
On entering my - and by Rori's decision also her - room, I find her sitting in the bathtub, scrubbing her already bright red skin frantically while she bawls her eyes out. Wordlessly I disarm her, replacing the brush by a washcloth once I'm in the tub with her. She's tense first, shuddering when I touch her, but I patiently and gently coax her to relax against me, holding her while she cries.
I don't like to see her cry, but it feels good to be there for her, to be strong for her, to be needed. Somehow comforting her when she is hurt, takes away my own pain. Whenever I get overwhelmed by the chaos around us, when despair threatens to overpower me or when I just feel too confused and exhausted to move on, I only have to look at Rori and find a reason in her to keep going. She makes me look at myself from a different angle, makes me discover a strength I didn't know I had.
I bathe her and wrap her up in a towel as if she was a child, finding my own comfort in taking care of her. Rori trusts in me, she believes in me like nobody else before. I can be Alistair when I'm with her without fearing to disappoint.
Later that night, we snuggle against each other - and Barkley. It proves absolutely impossible to keep him out of bed. He's acting like a baby, howling and whining and scratching at the bedposts when Rori tells him to sleep on the rug. It's heartbreaking. Seeing him like that, I would never believe he is a murderous beast on the battlefield.
"Can you just hold me tonight?" Rori whispers.
"Your desire is my command. But you better ask your dog for permission," I chuckle. The huge mabari has squeezed himself in between us and occupies most of the space for himself. Only after bribing him with the leftovers of the cake Sten has sent us for supper, he retreats to the end of the bed. Praise the Maker, that dog is such a glutton or we'd have never gotten rid of him. "Are you... okay?" I ask once Rori is save in my arms. It sounds like a stupid question to me. Howe, Fort Drakon... how could she possibly be okay?
Rori thinks about this for a moment while she caresses my face, her fingertips whispering across my cheekbones, brushing against my lips. The only sounds are the rain drumming against the window, Barkley's snoring and the crackling of the fire in the fireplace.
"Right now, I am," she finally murmurs. Her answer makes me smile, although it's not what I asked. "All the time I told myself, Howe's death would change something," she goes on after a moment of silence. "Perhaps it would if Loghain hadn't used us for his purpose... Still... I feel... relieved... that it is over now... but his ghost will keep haunting me nontheless. The grief... it becomes dull somehow after some time... unless I get reminded of how Mama and Papa and Oren and Oriana died... Fergus, I don't even know what happened to him, if he's dead or not. Actually not knowing is the worst. Hope can be quite a bitch. It's like a festering wound that won't heal." She breathes a heavy sigh, but I can feel her smile against my skin when I place a kiss on top of her head.
"You'll make it through. You are strong."
Rori snorts. "Am I? I don't feel very strong today. Befiled and hurt and dispirited and... royally pissed! I am so sick and tired of being used and pushed around and manipulated," she pouts, punching her pillow.
"Yes, it's growing old," I agree.
"That's the universal fate of all pawns. And didn't you say, you're not a leader of man since you prefer to follow?" Rori teases.
"Not fair!" I laugh. "Anyway, that doesn't sound dispirited to me. That sounds as if you're going to kick some ass. Anora's. Loghain's. The archdemon's."
"You always act as if I did this all alone just by snapping my fingers." Rori punches me in the chest teasingly. "You and I were a team from the beginning. Your strength, your courage, your idealism, your love... and your ability to make me laugh when there's really absolutely nothing to laugh about... I wouldn't have made it without you. I love you, Alistair. And I need you." She inhales deeply as she is overwhelmed by her feelings. I am overwhelmed, too. Maker, I love her so much, it almost hurts. "You saved me today. Without you... I would... they would... oh bloody blast it!" Angrily she wipes the tears away that flood her eyes once more. "I'm such a cry baby tonight!"
I don't feel like having done anything to protect her. Quite the contrary. Maker! She would have surrendered to protect me! My useless attempt to save her only gave these bastards the idea she might care for me enough to give up herself. Actually Ser Cauthrien is the hero of the day. Now, isn't that ironic?
I hold Rori and I kiss her tears away. I also stop her from wiping her nose at the blanket and sacrifice yet another handkerchief to her. Ferelden has to be littered with handkerchiefs with my name stiched in as Rori keeps losing them always and everywhere. She cries herself to sleep in my arms, making me feel loved with the tears she sheds.
Sounds stupid and pathetic, doesn't it?
Well, she has a whole lot of reasons to cry, but at the same time she's the only reason for me to smile. She's making me happier than I ever expected to be. Happier than I deserve. I do hope, I make her days easier as well.
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