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In good times and in bad	By : kruemel Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 14749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Rori has been watching me for a while. And whenever I look at her, she looks away. I start a game of acting as if I don't notice her stare, then turn so abruptly that in the end she runs straight into me because she's too busy staring at my... whatever it is that catches her interest.
Now we are so close she has to tilt her head back to look at my face. She examines it for a while as if she has never seen it before. This is a little awkward...
"What? Do I have dirt smeared across my cheeks? Something got stuck between my teeth?"
"Nooooo..."
"Then why are you staring at me like that?"
She bites her lower lip, tilts her head to one side, considering her reply. "Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?" she finally blurts out.
"Not unless they were asking me for a favour." Not that Rori would have to make compliments to get whatever she wants from me. "Well, there was that one time in Denerim, but those women were... not like you." That blush again. She even squrims a little, kneading her fingers nervously. "Why, is this your way of telling me you think I'm handsome?"
"My lips are sealed." She motions as if using a key to lock her lips.
"Oh, I get it. I'll get it out of you, yet." I laugh. "So is this the part where I get to say... the same?"
"Not unless you think so." Sounding so timid now. How can she do that? Jump from blunt to shy and still it doesn't seem as if she's acting. It's just how she is, this mixture of uncertainty and straightforwardness. Sometimes it's as if she gets surprised by her own bluntness after she blurts out whatever is on her mind.
"Oh, I think so. I'll just spring it on you when it's a surprise." Like you did with me.
"Fair enough," she mumbles, grinning rather foolishly. Not that I look any smarter that moment.
So here we are: Redcliffe. It feels a bit like coming home although I realize it never was and never will be home for me. I'm as homeless as Rori and I guess she's right when she calls home wherever we are - together. Her words give me more confidence for what I have to tell her now. Or it makes things worse. Maker, I am nervous! I wouldn't mind any smart comments from Leliana or more snappish remarks from Morrigan. But Rori... if Rori's reaction to my heritage would change anything between us... now I'm feeling sick to my stomach.
Blast, I should have told her before! Courage, boy, you'll need it!
So, here we go. "Can we talk for a moment? I need to tell you something." I take Rori's elbow and drag her away from the group. The way they stare after us they are dying to know what's going on. I try to keep my voice low. "I should probably have told you earlier. So the reason why Arl Eamon raised me was because my father was King Maric. That makes Cailan my half-brother."
Rori blinks. Blinks again. Yeah, i know, hard to digest. But Rori isn't that easily thrown out of balance. She has mercy and says something before I start squirming. "So you're not just a bastard but a royal bastard."
"Ha, I should use that line more often now," I laugh nervously, I'm so relieved she isn't mad at me. I still owe her an explanation. It's the way people react on me. It changes as soon as they know. I don't like that. I want to be Alistair and not the - royal - bastard.
"Shall I call you Prince Alistair now?" Rori pokes my side. She doesn't seem to mind I kept my heritage a secret. Sure, she's noble herself, maybe it wouldn't shock her as much. Or that's just how she is. I shouldn't have any doubts in her. She isn't that lukewarm. The things she does and says, that's something more than just us being fellow Grey Wardens, isn't it? I feel it's more but I'm not really sure. Lack of experience. Flirting is fun but when you are a templar or meant to be one soon, flirting doesn't lead anywhere. You can tell a lady how pretty she is without her regarding your comment as more than politeness. And when she tells you in return that you are handsome... well, that's nothing to get excited about. But having Rori blurting this out, that's something totally different.
"Just Alistair will do."
"Did Cailan know about you, Just Alistair?"
"Rubbing it in now, aren't you?" I chuckle. "I doubt he did. He never really talked to me. I saw him once when we were boys but he hardly noticed me. So no, not much of a relationship there between brothers. For me he always was the prince and later the king. I never regarded myself as a prince."
"Although Prince Alistair has a nice sound, don't you think?"
"Only when you say it."
Rori giggles and curtseys gracefully. At times like that you can see she indeed received an etiquette training. There's different ways of bowing and curtseying, depending on your own status. The lower it is the lower you bow. And I dare say I just received the Teyrn daughter meets Prince curtsey. With anybody else that would have me feel uncomfortable. But the twinkle in Rori's eyes gives her away. She's teasing me. Well, after it took me so long to tell her I deserve some teasing. "You flatter me, Prince Charming!"
"I don't know why you make such a fuss about his heritage," Morrigan remarks dryly. "He has been a pain in the ass, now he's a royal pain in the ass. I wouldn't call that an improvement."
It's a rare event but this time Morrigan makes me laugh. "If it means my presence becomes even less endurable to you, Morrigan, then I'd call it an improvement," I reply smuggly.
"It's a good thing your chances to become king are so low. I'd have to imigrate to Orlais if someone got the idea to put you on the throne. The dog would be a better choice."
Barkley woofs his disapproval. We both don't want to become king.
"Anyway," I say, "you probably knew Cailan better than I did."
"When King Maric visited Highever he would bring Cailan along. But I only once got to play with him. Twelve year old boys usually don't play with five year old girls. But I pestered Fergus until he and Cailan agreed I could join the game. I was allowed to be the princess they would rescue. They tied me to a tree at the far end of the park and gaged me - and then forgot I was there. They just went away and never returned."
"Charming"
"I stood there for hours. I was hungry, cold, uncomfortable and in the end I wet myself. They only noticed I was missing when I didn't show up for dinner."
"Now I don't think Cailan not taking interest in me was such a bad thing after all."
"Fergus was so sorry he let me have his dessert. Cailan only said sorry because Maric told him so. Later I sneaked out of my room and peed into Cailan's boots." She's so cute when she's smug. She reminds me of a cat they had in the Chantry. Whenever the Revered Mother would forget to let her in at night, she would pee onto something that belonged to Revered Mother. Mostly her shoes.
"You didn't!" Of course she did. This is Rori. I wonder why I should be surprised. It sounds exactly like something she would do. "Well, I guess it served him right."
"It was a nasty surprise for him when he stepped into his boots the next morning," Rori remarks cheerfully. "I so wish I could have seen the look on his face." Vengeful little spitfire! I make a mental note to myself to watch my back with her.
"But then they started to look for the culprit and blamed Gavin, one of the elven servants. So I had to confess. I couldn't let poor Gavin take the blame. They would have hurt him."
How can someone not adore that girl? She couldn't have cared. For so many nobles servants, especially elves, are lesser beings. When I imagine that little five year old girl step in to save a servant, it makes me all mawkish. And proud. She's someone to be proud of despite all the crazy things she does.
"What did they do to you then?"
"Mother was shocked. Father laughed. King Maric laughed. Cailan was fuming but his father told him he had learnt a useful lesson: Never to underestimate a woman's wrath no matter how young she was. As Cailan hadn't yet gotten punished, Maric and Papa agreed that Cailan and I were even. Cailan acted as if I wasn't there until he and Maric left. But a few years later I met him again and then the story had become one of his favourites to tell and he could laugh about it."
It's weird to hear her talk about him. I almost feel like I now know him better. Now he is dead I regret I haven't gotten the chance to talk to him at least once. When dying he became more of a brother than he ever was before. Does that sound stupid? Probably. I can't really explain it. I always kept my distance, never tried to make myself noticed. Cailan reminded me of the father and family I never had and at the same time I didn't want to destroy what he had.
We meet Teagan in the Chantry once Tomas has informed us about the monsters. Oh, yeah, why should anything ever be easy?
"Bann Teagan!" I greet him when I see his familiar face. He didn't visit Redcliffe often when I was there but I fondly remember the times he did. "You perhaps don't remember me. Last time we met I was much younger... and covered in mud."
"Covered in mud? Alistair! I was worried you could be dead! Finally some good news!" Teagan exclaims. His greeting is warmer than I would have expected. It's good to see him again. Until he begins to flirt with Rori.
"So, are you married?" he asks with far too much interest.
"No, I'm not."
And Teagan obviously hasn't heard of how hard she worked to stay single or he'd not get so excited about it. That moment when he smiles at her I would happily feed him to the darkspawn. I stare daggers at him to draw Teagan's attention away from Rori. He frowns and that sickly sweet smile disappears from his face. Then he turns and our eyes meet. His expression gives away his confusion. I admit I am close to hostile. Teagan only half notices Rori bids him farewell. I only half notice she calls my name. This is a guy stare contest and I am going to win it.
"Alistair?" Rori waves her hand in front of my face.
"Huh?"
She takes my hand and her voice teasingly takes on the quality of adults speaking to toddlers. "We have to leave now, Alistair. Kill some undead, save Redcliffe, rescue the Arl, remember?"
"Uhm, yeah, sure." Behind me I hear Teagan chuckle.
As I know Redcliffe, I become Rori's guide when she helps the villagers prepare for the upcoming battle against the undead. Morrigan trudges behind, clearly thinking this is a waste of time.
"You really don't like this, do you?" Rori asks her.
"What are we going to do next? Rescue kittens from trees?" Morrigan remarks sourly.
"Okay, then let me tell you this: we have to build an army. And when you do so you also recruit peasants and commoners - which you can't if they are already dead. And once you got your army to fight the archdemon and the darkspawn, you have to feed it. It also needs armours and weapons. You might think of this as a waste of time, I don't. Because all these people here will remember we helped them. They will be soldiers, smiths and merchants, farmers and healers and whatever else an army needs and they will be glad to assist." Thus said, Rori turns on her heels and leaves Morrigan standing there.
"That's... a rather practical point of view," I comment. I'm not sure if I like this. Of course Rori is right. But I'd rather just have her help because we can and these people need us.
"When talking to Morrigan you have to speak to her in a way she can understand."
Whatever her reason, she does best she can to make sure everybody is ready for the battle, talking to the major, convincing the dwarf to join the fight. She makes the elven spy we find at the inn help defending the village.
All the while I can't get rid of the impression there's something bothering her. She keeps herself so obviously busy and she avoids looking at me. I'm getting nervous. When I can't stand it any longer, I take her by her arm to pull her aside. I have to talk to her. "What is wrong, Rori?"
First it seems as if she is going to shrug my question off but then she blurts out: "Why did you keep your birthright a secret?"
"You never asked?" And there I thought this wouldn't be a problem with her. Stupid to even believe she wouldn't be influenced by my blood.
For a moment she just stands there, staring at me dumbfounded. Then she frowns and with her arms akimbo she almost snaps at me. "I... how could I have known? And I asked about you. You told me all these things about your mother and how Arl Eamon raised you. You said your father died even before your mother did! That was a blunt lie then, wasn't it? Why did you do that? I thought..." She runs a hand through her hair exasperatedly, then hugging herself she says in a very low and small voice: "I'm... hurt you didn't trust me."
When she first almost jumped in my face I was prepared for an argument. But now I see the disappointment on her face and hear the sadness in her voice, I feel like a prick. "No, please don't think that," I hurry to say. "It's not that I didn't trust you. Please let me try to explain." I wring my hands, trying to find the right words. "The thing is I'm used to not telling anyone who doesn't already know. It was always a secret. Even Duncan was the only Grey Warden who knew. And then after the battle when I should have told you... I don't know. It seemed like it was too late by then. How do you just tell someone that?"
"How about, By the way, I'm the heir to the throne?"
That certainly would have been the Rori-Cousland-way of handling that matter. She'd just have blurted it out somewhere in between killing darkspawn and cooking supper. But that's not how I would handle things. Sometimes I envy her for her bluntness. Sometimes she scares me, most of the time I am simply dumbfoundedly surprised. "Yes, well... I suppose part of me kind of liked you not knowing."
"Why? What happens when people find out?"
"They treat me difernetly. I become the bastard prince to them instead of just Alistair. I know that must sound stupid to you, but I hate that it's shaped my entire life. I never wanted it, and I certainly don't want to be king. The very idea of it terrifies me."
"It doesn't sound stupid at all. I was always glad that Fergus was going to inherit the title and all the responsibility."
I didn't realize she could feel equally with her being the leader she has proven to be. It's not like I thought she would be looking forward to leading but it has never occured to me that the responsibility of being a leader could scare her. "For all the good it does me. My blood seems certain to haunt me no matter what I do. I guess I should be thankful that Arl Eamon is far more likely to inherit the throne. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I... I guess I was just hoping that you would like me for who I am. It was a dumb thing to do."
"But I do like you!" Rori protests. "I mean, my father was one of the most powerful men in all of Ferelden. I am of noble birth - and... did I ever treat you as someone lesser when you made me believe you were the bastard son of a maid?"
I wince, shake my head and offer a very very foolish grin as an apology. She never was aloof around me. "No, you didn,t," I admit. I already felt like a complete idiot before. I didn't think I could top that. Boy, was I wrong.
"Your now revealed heritage doesn't change anything. I couldn't care less if your father was a king or a peasant. I just want you to be honest with me."
"I am sorry. I should have known better than to assume you would judge me by my heritage. Especially since you didn't do so before. That's quite something considering you're a Cousland."
"Father always told Fergus and me, it's not alone our bloodline that makes us noble, but also the things we do and how we treat others. He said, the people would always bow to our name, but that we should strive to earn their respect. He always treated others, no matter their birth or race with respect."
"Sounds as if he was a good man."
"He was," Rori whispers sadly.
"He'd be proud of you. I am sorry I didn't tell you. Forgive me."
"Don't worry about it. No harm done." All the talking about her father has made her uneasy. Her voice sounds choked by the effort of blinking back her tears.
I smile shyly, squeezing her hand comfortingly, and she beams back at me, although it seems a bit forced. "I guess, it's kind of a relief you know now."
"I think, I even understand why you didn't tell me. That probably sounds strange from someone like me. But I know that moment when people start treating me differently because they figure I am Teyrn Cousland's daughter. It's really awkward situations - just I was taught to accept it as something normal and that the benefit it gives me is a brithright. I was also taught, that I have a responsibility because of that birthright. That I should never just take it for granted." She forcefully kicks a stone into the lake before she goes on, her voice both sad and amused. "One day when I played tag with Fergus and Gilmore while Father was talking to the merchants at the market in Highever, I ran into an old woman carrying a basket with apples on her back. She toppled over and lay on her back, flailing like a beetle. The apples had scattered all across the road. She cursed at us, demanded we paid the damage and tried to hit us with her walking stick - until Father appeared. When she realized who Fergus and I were she apologized. She was so scared as if she expected to be executed. Father had us help her back to her feet, he made us apologize and we picked up the apples for her. And we paid for the damage we had caused. The poor old woman was so stunned, she was completely dumbfounded."
Rori falls silent, chewing at her lower lip as she remembers this day long ago when her world hadn't yet come crashing down on her. I feel helpless, unsure what to do, how to comfort her when her grief is so obvious and she's so bravely triyng to pull herself together.
"I'm sorry," I mutter, sounding as foolish as I feel.
"It's alright. Really. I'm fine. But I better stop telling tales now or I'll be still bawling my eyes out when all the undead come." She angrily wipes some tears from the corners of her eyes. "I'm glad we talked about it." She cocks her head to one side, squinting her eyes at me. "You don't have any more secrets, do you?" she asks, poking my side.
I grin, poking her in return. "Besides my unholy love for fine cheeses and a minor obsession with my hair, no. That's it. Just the prince thing."
- 8
- 9
- 10
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In good times and in bad