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The needs that drive you	By : lissatyger Category: +S through Z > Xenogears Views: 2839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xenogears, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The needs that drive you
- 1
Title: The needs that drive you

Author: Moontyger

Archived: Posted on my LJ; ask
before posting elsewhere

Pairing: KOS-MOS/Shion

Rating: NC-17 (explicit sex)

Other characters: chaos

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga or
any of the characters and I make no money off this story. I also did
not write nor do I own the lyrics quoted in this songfic; they are
from “Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad” by Def
Leppard.

Shion lay in her cabin in the
Durandal, staring into the dark. She should be asleep, which is why
the lights are off, but she just can't seem to relax enough. Things
had become so strange. How had it come to this? She thinks back to
when she was just an engineer working for Vector on an anti-Gnosis
weapon. Things were much simpler then, even if it hadn't seemed like
it at the time. And for at least part of that time, she hadn't been
alone.

Now, she had gone against orders and
stolen company property and that was just the beginning. Shion knows
she must be responsible and strong; she has people depending on her,
but sometimes it seems so hard. So many depend on her; who can she
depend on? Not her brother, that's for sure!

Have you ever needed someone so bad?

Have you ever wanted someone you
just couldn't have?

Did you ever try so hard that your
world just fell apart?

The door to her room opens, almost
silently, and she hears footsteps approaching the bed. “Shion,”
an almost familiar female voice says.

Shion frowns. It sounds like
KOS-MOS's voice, but she sounds strange... and why would she be here,
in the middle of the night? “Lights,” she says and
squints in the sudden brilliance. It is KOS-MOS, standing
next to the bed, a strange expression on her face. And something is
different about her. It takes her a moment while her eyes adjust to
realize it. “Your eyes... they're
blue? Why? How?” Now she really is awake, sitting up and
trying to puzzle out this change in the android she had created and
programmed. This shouldn't be possible, should it?

“You needed me, Shion, so I'm
here.” KOS-MOS sat beside her, looking deeply into Shion's
eyes with ones so astonishingly blue that it was like looking into a
summer sky. KOS-MOS took Shion into her arms with incredible
gentleness and pressed her lips to hers.

Shion was so surprised, she forgot to
think. All her speculation about KOS-MOS's strange behavior
momentarily ceased, and she deepened the kiss, amazed at how real it
felt. Surely this must be a dream; how could her mouth and tongue
feel so human otherwise?

Why save your kisses for a rainy
day?

Baby let the moment take your heart
away.

* * *

In
another part of the ship, chaos looked up. Something strange, some
disturbance within the ship... what was it? His green eyes widened.
“No, it's not time yet; I have to stop it!” he thinks and
he is running through the corridors seeking the source before the
thought has fully finished forming. What could have awakened her
early?

He
skids to a stop outside Shion's room, frowning. Here? Why here?
Chaos pauses and tries to listen. He doesn't want to disturb Shion
if he doesn't have to and he doesn't think KOS-MOS would be a danger
to her. To anyone else she might be, but not Shion.

When he
realized, he was both embarrassed and deeply surprised, but also
relieved. He walked slowly back to his cabin, thinking all the
while. “I don't think she'll stay like this,” he mused.
“But if she can be awakened, even temporarily, to fill a need
like this one, the time is later than I thought.”

* * *

Every dream I dream is
like

Some kind of rash 'n'
reckless scene.

“KOS-MOS,”
Shion sighed, running her hands through the long blue hair. “This
can't be real.” She kisses KOS-MOS again before she can say
anything in response because right now she doesn't want to hear it.
If this is a dream it is a good dream and she doesn't want anything
to ruin it. Shion runs her hands over the body so close to her and,
unlike the mouth, she can tell it isn't a human body, but she doesn't
care. Who should know better than she what KOS-MOS is?

To give out such crazy
love

You must be some kind of
drug.

Except
maybe she really doesn't know. Because she never would have expected
this, never even considered it might be possible. She had wanted her
to feel, to care, but ultimately, she was a weapon. But now that
weapon was in Shion's bed, holding her, kissing her, and seeming
intent on making love to her. She has no idea how or why this is
happening, but she had needed it, so for now she tries to turn
her mind off and not think about it.

Shion
lets her hands wander over KOS-MOS's body and is surprised when her
hands are easily pinned above her head. “This is for you,”
KOS-MOS whispers in her ear, punctuating the statement with some
sucking and nibbling that sent a shiver down her spine. “And
it can't be anything else; it's dangerous.”

Hands
she knew could crush her without effort let go of her wrists and
caress her breasts with infinite gentleness. Shion buried her hands
in KOS-MOS's soft hair. This, at least, should be safe. But then
this wasn't safe, couldn't be safe. KOS-MOS is more than a weapon;
she is a killer – she must remember that! But right
now, when she is so gentle and her hands and mouth feel so warm and
loving on a body that hasn't been touched in so long, it is hard to
remember how devastated she had been, how horrified, to see
her kill without mercy or hesitation.

Here I am, I’m in
the wrong bed again
It’s a game I just can’t
win.
There you are breathin’ soft on my skin,
Still you
won’t let me in.

Now
all her thoughts and hesitations are sliding away in a tide of
sensation. She wants and needs this, these hands and lips that seem
to know her body so well, though it is the first time. She is
moaning now, and moves her hands to clutch the sheet, something she
can hold onto without risk. But then this is all about risk And
then she is coming, hard, over and over until she is tired and
oversensitive, to the expert tongue on her clit and fingers inside
her that know just where and how to touch.

After,
KOS-MOS holds her, cool synthetic skin against her own heated flesh.
Shion strokes her lightly, marveling at the feel and the memory of
what had just happened. At last, she has to ask. “Did
Kevin... did he program this and I just never knew?”

KOS-MOS
goes very still, more so than a human
could. “No,” she said at last, “although you may
think of it as a last gift from him if you like.” She pauses
and seems to think, then raises herself up on her elbows and looks
into Shion's eyes with those impossibly blue ones. “I did this
myself, because you needed me. And because I love you, Shion. As
you love me.” Shion can see the sincerity and love in those
eyes, the eyes that shouldn't exist as the emotions shouldn't.

There you go, midnight
promises again,
But they’re broken by the dawn.

It was
true, Shion knew. She did love KOS-MOS and had for a long time. She
had just never done anything about it, because how could an android
return love? She had believed her love was destined to be
unrequited.

And
if my time don’t ever come
For me you’re still the
one.
Damned if I don’t; damned if I do.

She
still didn't know how this was possible, but she was grateful for it
and didn't want to question it. “I do love you, and you have
made me very happy,” she whispers, and then finally sleeps, no
longer alone.

When
she wakes, KOS-MOS is still there. She smiles, and kisses Shion
gently. “I am glad I could meet your needs, Shion.” And
then she closes her eyes, and when she opens them, they are red again
and so emotionless it seems like a dream that they had ever been
anything else.

You
wanna go further, faster everyday, baby,
But in the morning you’ll
be gone
And I’m alone.

She
stands, merely a weapon again, and leaves the room without a word and
without looking back. All Shion can do is watch her go. She raises
a trembling hand and touches her lips wonderingly. How did this
happen? Will it happen again, or was this the one night of happiness
they could have? She has no answers, only questions.

Have you ever needed
someone so bad?
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn’t
have?
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell
apart?
Have you ever needed someone so bad?
And you’re
the girl I gotta have.
- 1
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The needs that drive you