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Reason(Complete)	By : chibichibi01 Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 2517 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age. I own Remy. I don't own any of the NPCs, they all belong to Bioware. I'm also not making any money from this.

Chapter List
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A/N: Kayso, I was flipping through my Mp3 player for some Jowistair music and I came across Hoobistank: Reason. And I thought, Holy cow, this is perfect. It's the perfect angsty dramatic sweet fodder that this pairing requires.
Don't you worry, Magic's Slave will continue to update on a regular basis. This is just a new project because it's desperately needed.
Oh and I don't own the boys this time either. Just Remy <3
Alistair thumped his head onto his desk with a sigh. There was just so much paperwork. He hadn't realized becoming the leader of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden meant filling out so many forms, and dealing with so much politics. He rubbed his weary eyes and sighed again, filled with a whole new appreciation for Duncan.
A soft knock at his door had him straightening up, tidying his workspace a little before he cleared his throat and said, "Come in."
The door swung open and Alistair grinned, rising to meet his unexpected guest. "Zev! It's good to see you again. I thought you'd left for Antiva permanently."
Zevran grinned back. "How could I leave when you've got all this responsibility as the new Commander of the Grey? Completely unwanted as well, I'm sure." Zevran walked over and hopped up on Alistair's desk. "And so much paperwork too. You need an assistant." He laughed.
Alistair smiled crookedly. "I haven't got the time to find an assistant, Zev. I've been too busy trying to get caught up. Every time I'm nearly finished with a batch, they drop more off and swamp me again."
Zevran peered at Alistair's face. "Have you been sleeping? Can't have you go working yourself to death. Who would the next Commander be then? You'd leave your comrades completely unprepared."
Alistair snorted. "I'm sure they'd managed fine without me, Zev." Then he raised an eyebrow. "Are you volunteering to help me with the paperwork?"
Zevran mock sighed. "I suppose I am." Then he tutted. "You need something to relax you, my overworked friend. How long has it been since-"
Alistair's face shuttered, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. "You know the answer to that, Zevran."
Zevran sighed and hopped off of the desk. "You need to move on, Alistair," He said gently. "It's been two years since-"
"I know how long it's been," Alistair said coldly. "I don't need you to keep reminding me. I don't need to move on. I'm not going to disrespect his memory that way."
Zevran shook his head. "You are disrespecting him by not moving on. He would want you to be happy. You know this."
Alistair frowned. "If all you're going to do is lecture me about my lack of a sex life, then I think you'd better leave."
Zevran snorted. "Not hardly. One of your Orlesians is bringing in a face you will recognize. I suggest you control your temper."
Alistair's eyes narrowed. "Who is it?"
Zevran grinned. "Now where would be the fun in telling you? Besides, it's not my job. Yet."
"Zev…" Alistair shot him a look. "Fine, you can stay and help." At the Antivan's grin, he groaned and let his head fall to the desk again. "Maker's breath, you're here without a lover in a Keep full of young people who don't know how to deal with you… Zev? Do me a favor and try to not upset too many of my recruits. Their unity is far too important for petty jealousy to start cropping up."
"Me?" Zevran smiled innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Alistair. How dare you insult my virtue in such a manner."
Alistair picked his head up a little and raised an eyebrow. "Virtue? You?" He snorted. "If you still have virtue left, then I'm the Empress of Orlais."
Zevran bowed low and said, "I must bid Her Majesty a good day then. The recruits eagerly await my presence," and then he sauntered out the door.
Alistair pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, before standing and shoving the paperwork away. There's no way I'm going to get any more work done.
"Ser?"
A light tap on the open door and he flicked his eyes over in that direction. "Ah, Remy." He leaned against the wall with a sigh. "Do you have any more candidates?"
"Just the one, Ser." The Orlesian Warden bowed and waved a man into the room. "I found him defending a group of children from a Darkspawn attack. After we got the children somewhere safe, I decided to bring him back with me."
Alistair took one look at the man being ushered in and lost it. Before he knew what he was doing, his legs carried him over to the new entrant and he grabbed the front of the man's robe and slammed him against the wall. "Jowan," he spat, "How dare you show your face again, you filthy blood mage?"
Jowan stared up at Alistair and clenched his jaw before saying, "I came here to make a difference. I'm tired of running; I want to do something to help! I have the chance to do that here!"
Alistair felt his hands being pried open by his second-in-command. "Ser, we could use him. If he wants to make himself useful, I say let him."
Alistair whirled on the short blonde, "Do you have any idea what this… maleficar did?" His hands trembled and he clenched them into fists again.
"Does it matter?" Remy asked him quietly. "We need all the help we can get. If he fails the Joining, then that's the end of it. But if he succeeds… that means he was meant to be here. Just give him that much of a chance, Commander."
Alistair turned his back on them both. "Fine," he snarled. "Just get him out of my sight, and put him through the ritual. Today."
Remy crossed his arms at his chest and bowed before pulling Jowan from the room and heading for the main hall.
Jowan kept stealing glances back at Alistair through the open door until Remy had pulled him around the corner and shoved him away.
"Why did you come here?" the blonde mage asked quietly, as he crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one foot.
"It's like I told him," Jowan said quietly, "I need to make up for everything that I've done. I made some stupid decisions in my past, and I need to prove that I'm not like other Maleficar. I'm not a monster." Jowan slumped back against the wall. "I haven't used my blood magic since the day I escaped from the Tower. And I only did it then because they were going to take Lily to Aeonar. I tried to save her life and she rejected me."
Remy nodded. "What else? I know Alistair wouldn't be this upset for just a Maleficar. What did you do to him?"
Jowan laughed humorlessly. "Nothing to him. Arl Eamon's wife, the Lady Isolde, hired me to tutor her son, Connor, in secret. Just enough so that he could hide and not be taken to the Circle. I was under orders from Loghain to poison Arl Eamon. He told me if I did this for him, I'd be accepted back into the only family I ever knew. People who cared for me. I had a father in Irving and I wanted to go home." He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "If your regent told you that a man was a threat to the security of your nation, you'd follow his orders too. Especially if he told you, you could go home when all was said and done." He laughed again. "But that isn't even the worst part. They had to kill Connor because the boy made a deal with a desire demon so that Arl Eamon would be spared." He opened his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "They had to kill the boy. He was an abomination, and they had no other choice, since Helios told me to run. If I'd been there… I don't know. I could have done something to help. Something to spare the boy's life."
Remy stood there silently as he absorbed Jowan's tale. "It looks like life had given you the short end of the stick. You've been treated worse than a Mabari's toy." He grinned. "Come on, let's get you a drink."
Jowan pulled away from the wall and he blinked. "What about the Joining?"
Remy grinned wider. "That's the drink."
Jowan laughed and followed Remy to the main hall. "Do you really believe what you said back there? That… if I make it, I was meant to be here?"
Remy nodded. "We're going to make this private, so the other recruits don't get jealous that you're moving to the front of the line, so to speak." He picked up the goblet and nodded solemnly at Jowan. "There's only you here today, but the words I speak next have been spoken since the first joining, and I will not betray tradition. Join us brothers and sisters… Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you."
Jowan swallowed heavily and took a deep breath. This is my chance. If I live I can prove to him that I'm not the same person.
"Jowan." Remy held the goblet out. "From this moment forward you are a Grey Warden."
Jowan took another deep breath before he reached out for the goblet. "Blood. That seems oddly appropriate." And he drank. Feeling the liquid burning its way through his system he cried out, before being swallowed up by darkness.
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Reason(Complete)