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Tainted Dreams	By : wyldehart Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 3476 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: All characters and Dragon Age are property of Bioware/EA. I made no money, sadly.

Chapter List
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Tainted Dreams
Revelations in the Night (Prologue)
This story was started almost a year ago and it was my first fanfic. It is FAR from perfect. To my detractors (You know who are you yet you read my writing and insist on blasting me anyway...) this was my first writing attempt and it is presented as I originally wrote it at FF.net. There are likely errors throughout as I was learning as I went along. The story ended in March to a tune of 111,000 words and 34 chapters. It's also not as "adult" as most of my stuff tends to be. Finally, it contains the strongest of my female characters.
I am unapologetic for this story and it remains to date my most popular story on FF.net and boy was it a heck of a lot of fun to write!
Thank you!

Part 1:
Dreaming
Elissa Cousland stood before the Landsmeet after Alistair's winning the noble's favor and having defeated Loghain in a duel. Blood and the former regent's head lay on the floor near Alistair's feet, his chest heaving and blood dripping from his armor. She had just chosen Alistair to rule and made the bid to be his wife and rule by his side. The nobles were accepting of the plan but Alistair was blinking at her, all but spitting his rage. "What do you mean, 'rule by my side?' What gives you that right? Just because you are a Teryn's daughter, that does not make you anymore qualified to my queen than any other Bann or Arl's get! I could marry Anora if I wanted! But you have no right to dictate to me whom I will marry! How dare you!"
She stared back at him, chilled to the core. "But I thought- I assumed that we-!"
"You assumed! That's your problem. You make too many assumptions. Make them about yourself. I am finished with you." He then walked over to her and backhanded her with such force that she was thrown through the air. "Get out! We don't need your aid against the Darkspawn or the Archdemon! I have what I need and you have done what you had to do. Now go!"
"Alistair! NO! I love you! We love each other! Don't do this to us!" she screamed from the floor. "I love you! You can't mean this! It cannot be real. Please, let this be another nightmare. Please, let this be another nightmare…" Alistair stood over her, frowning down at her. "I wish we'd never met…" he growled.
"No! No! NO! NOOOOO! ALLLIIISSSTAIRRRR…!"

"…lissa, Elissa, wake up, Love. It was just a horrible nightmare. I'm here. It's alright. Stop screaming, now. I love you and I'm not going anywhere, not without you. There's my girl… Open your eyes, sweet wife. Ahhh. That's what I want to see. Hold me. Go ahead and cry. Shhh. There you go. Let it out. What was it this time, hmm?" She clung to him with the determination of frightened child. He held her just as tightly in return. He was naked and that tactile contact was a relief to her embattled soul.
"Th-th-the l-l-landsmeet again…" she sobbed against him. She was finding it hard to breathe. He pressed his cheek into her red hair and made gentle soothing noises not unlike what a parent would make to a distressed child. He was very worried. For a few weeks now, his wife had been having these strange dreams that were so vivid, she often sat up in bed, screaming. It was only with a lot of cuddling and reassurance that she could pull herself out of them. It was very much unlike her. He enjoyed being needed but stressed over why.
He waited for her sobs to still before asking about the nightmare. "So. It was one of those ones where my temperament is like Morrigan's on a good day, right?" He nuzzled her jaw and chewed her ear gently, trying to coax a smile from her.
"Y-y-yes…" she heaved, her neck stretching out to expose more of it to his nibbles and playful kisses. He carefully kissed her eyes and cheeks, wiped away the tears that spilled forth and just doing what he could to make her know how beloved she was.
"Ahh. It must have been the one where you were 'licking my lamppost' and I whined about your technique, which I love by the way. Nobody else does it better than you…" He waited for the reaction that came a bit late due to her emotional state.
"'Nobody… Else?'" she growled with a raised eyebrow and a few determined sniffles.
"Ah… Did I say that? I meant nobody. Nobody, period! Right! Right. Okay, so it wasn't that one? Oh, I know which one it was! It's the one where Morrigan does her crazy sex ritual thing on me and this time, I keep my eyes open and I may have even enjoyed it. That little scenario gives me dry heaves just thinking about it." He shuddered and pulled Elissa into his lap, drawing her as tightly against him as he could. He thought he heard a chuckle.
"No? Not that one either? Hmm. Let me think… Oh! I got it! It's that one where I dump you in favor of a little 'hard core' sex with Shale just to see what it's like getting stuck between a rock and a hard place!" Now she was laughing and punching his chest lightly with her fists. That one was the one that never failed. He smiled. He didn't have to ask anything more about the nightmare because he knew which one it was. He had listened to her end for more than ten minutes as he was calming her down. Of the dark dreams, that one was the worst and the most common. Alistair just wished he knew why.
He pulled her back under the covers and held her against him. "Princess Consort, Elissa Cousland Thierin, I am your husband and I have been for four years. I am never going to leave you and I swear that you will always have my love, no matter what. I made you that vow on our wedding day and I shall hold true to it until after I die."
That earned him a full kiss on the mouth and additional tears, this time of joy. It was those tears he liked to see and he tucked her alongside him so that he could smile into her blue-green eyes. He could barely see them in the faint moonlight filtering through the window but he knew they were there. "I had never felt more complete until the day I first admitted my feelings for you. Knowing that you felt the same brought me such joy that I thought I would never be sad again. And you know what? I was right. You have been perfect for me in every sense since we met. You have been my partner, my lover, my friend and the rock that keeps me firm in the things I must do. Your advice alone is worth the world to me. In fear of sounding cliché, I believe that I would be lost without you. So, I guess you're stuck with me! Until Shale pops back up… She gives me that rocky stare and my limbs just turn all to jelly. Heh heh. You going to be okay, my love?"
He felt her nod against his shoulder and then, quite unexpectedly, she rose up onto her hands and laid her body on top of his, her legs straddling his hips. She pulled him up into a seated position and proceeded to kiss him passionately."You will never be cliché, Alistair." Then she started doing things with her hand that made him gasp. Within moments, he was inside her, their hips rolling gently and his fingers entwined in her hair as he spread his mouth across her bare breasts. Those fiery locks were now grown past her shoulders and gave him something to grab as they made love. How he loved her hair, its softness and its spicy-sweet scent. She ran her lips along his jaw, down his throat and across his strong shoulders. His body was a chiseled masterpiece of solid perfection and she loved how it felt against her, around her, inside of her…
"You never fail to make me smile, my love… No matter how terrible I feel." she whispered as they joined their bodies in the heat that earliest morning inspired. Lately, Elissa had become insatiable. Not that he minded but even as passionate as Gray Wardens usually are, his queen was even more so than usual. Fortunately, Alistair had proven himself time and again to be more than capable of satisfying her every physical need. He marveled at his own staying power as she would frequently end one romp and leap lustfully right into the next. He was rather enjoying it even as he questioned its source.
Later, curled up in each other's arms, Alistair settled his head into the thick collection of pillows the pair had joined into one heap at the head of their huge bed. After months of sleeping in tiny tents, shared bed-rolls and narrow hostel beds together, they never quite adapted to the opulence of having one massive bed, even after four years of marriage preceded by six months of living in the castle prior to their grand wedding. They still slept practically on top of one another.
He sighed happily and traced his fingertip round and round one of her fat, red nipples. She was extremely perky this morning and he loved it. "Mmm. Keep that up and you're going to finish what you start… With your tongue," she muttered contentedly. He didn't stop and instead he gifted her with amused grin. "Maker forbid!" he gasped, melodramatically.
"I'm warning you, evil man…"
"Doubtless you're capable of following through…"
"Don't test me!"
He eagerly tested her by wrapping his tongue around it next. Moments later, his head was between her thighs and he was contentedly pleasuring his wife with all the skill he'd acquired in more than five years of being her lover. It took almost no time to make her scream his name into the ceiling. He loved that scream. It was the sound of a happy woman and the longer he could prolong it, the more it aroused him. How he loved the way she tasted, the way she felt around him when they made love immediately after. Even though he was curious about why she was so sexual these days, he wasn't going to question the good fortune it brought.
Finally, after a great deal (and at least two hours) of prolonged, vigorous love-making, Alistair asked her about her opinion on the subject. He was exhausted and lay with her head upon his chest. She was half asleep. Even if she had wanted to, he doubted he could coax much life from his over-used body. "Sooo… I'm not complaining but… Why have you become so aroused by me lately? Don't get me wrong; I rather like it but it is a bit unusual, don't you think?"
She kept her eyes closed and muttered darkly, "Sounds like you're complaining…"
"No, no, I'm not! I'm- Andraste's Sword, woman! But you're wearing me out! You've always been quick to jump me at every turn but these days, I think if you could get away with it, you would lock our bedroom door and molest me sunup to sundown!"
Elissa rubbed his chest with her hand, stroking the fine knots of muscle and teasing his nipples to firmness. "Hmmm! Now there's an idea! Fine. Here's an answer for you. Maybe I find you handsome, with an amazing body and a sweet disposition," she replied in an absent-minded tone of voice. "And you're pretty good at this sex-thing! Hard to believe you were this shy, awkward virgin just five years ago…"
He laughed nervously before sighing deeply, his nose in her hair and his fingers curled about her shoulder. "And you're not telling me everything, my love. I know you all too well and I know when you've been chewing on something you aren't sure you want to discuss."
"Am I so transparent?" she chuckled.
"Painfully so. Spit it out."
"Okay, okay. So, the nightmares and my increased sexual appetites are not the only 'symptoms' I have been having lately. The others I have been very good about keeping to myself. My appetite, for example…"
"You've been ravenous! Last night I overheard you ask our night-servant for a late meal and I saw what he brought you! That was no snack, my love. It's like you're adjusting to the taint all over again." Alistair heard her gasp against him and felt her arms wrap around his waist, holding him tight against her.
"I… Thought you were sleeping…"
"I was until you got out of bed. I'm fine-tuned to your every movement and you just can't go anywhere without rousing me." 'Or arousing me… I love watching you walk about our room in the nude. What an amazing body my love has…!'
"Oh. Well, yes, I have been very hungry of late. And I have these cravings for the strangest foods! And I have been… throwing up. Practically on a daily basis. Sometimes, all I have to do is smell something and my stomach turns. Take my favorite breakfast for example. You know what I like, don't you?" He curled his fingers in her hair absently and kissed her forehead as she searched his eyes. He nodded. "Well, the poached egg sits on a circle of toast with a piece of ham crowning it. All over it is poured this amazing yellow butter cream sauce that is so delicious! Well, I went to eat it the other morning and I saw the sauce, smelled the sauce and… Promptly had to throw-up. I… Did not make it to the kitchen wash-basin." Alistair made a soft, "Eeeewww" sound as she rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him guiltily.
"Mattea looked right at me and said, 'Young lady, I suggest you see a healer.' I said, 'Clearly. You have a recommendation, I take it?' She nodded and said, 'Yes, I do. She has no name but if you look for her in the Alienage, she goes by "the Midwife". She's an old apostate who is fine-tuned to the medical needs of women.' And I said…"
Alistair bolted up-right, pulling Elissa up with him, his eyes huge in the darkness. "Whoa, whoa whoa! Hold on a minute! 'The midwife?' But midwives service pregnant women! Are you saying that Mattea thinks… That you might be… That we could be… PREGNANT?" He was holding her by her shoulders and gazing into her face with such joy that she was laughing in spite of her stomach's rumbling. Even in the dark, she could see the tears spilling out of his eyes.
"Mattea thinks I am. She is sure of it." Elissa draped her arms about his neck as he searched her face with his eyes.
He was so happy and so relieved by this news that he was crying. He couldn't remember the last time he shed tears but this was a fine reason to do so now. "If you are pregnant, imagine how greatly simplified things will be. Lately, I've had every Bann and Arl shoving their daughters at me in the hopes I'll sire a bastard on one of them. It's driving me insane. With you carrying my child, we'll have the necessary heir and I can live and breathe again without this weight on my shoulders. But I wonder how…? We Gray Wardens are not normally able to reproduce together, you know. I've never heard of it, anyway."
"On that I have a theory. Do you remember Soldier's Keep? Remember the old blood-mage, Avernus, we allowed to live there in the hopes he would someday solve some of the problems we Wardens have concerning the Taint? The research he was doing?"
Alistair nodded. He had personally disagreed with letting the mage live but had kept his comments to himself on the matter. The mage was doing them a service, after all. Or so he told himself. "Like eminent death after thirty years? Not something an heirless king needs, mind you. What happened?"
"Well, a couple of years ago, I went to him to see if he had anything new to tell us and he did. It wasn't much but what he had was encouraging. He complained about the part of our agreement that keeps him from using blood magic."
"Hm! Not surprising there. I remember that visit. When you returned, you seemed thoughtful, if I recall. But your report was vague. You mentioned progress but left out the 'what' part. And you evaded my questions. I figured it was 'Warden Commander' business and dropped it."
"Well, while I was there I explained that we, you and I, needed an heir and if he knew of some way to make it possible for us to conceive. I figured he would have some theories, being a Warden himself and all, you know?"
Alistair held up his hand. "Wait, wait… That was your reason for going there? Surely not."
She blinked at him. "No, it wasn't my only reason. I wanted an update on his research and to make certain he wasn't killing or torturing anyone. He was behaving himself. Anyway, he gave me something to drink. Not a guarantee but he said it couldn't hurt. He didn't tell me what it was, though. Just for me to drink it. So… I did. He reassured me it wasn't anything that I, as a Templar or Gray Warden, would find objectionable. And now I have all the symptoms of pregnancy that you can imagine. I just haven't had the nerve to see the Midwife yet. Not without you."
Alistair laughed and crushed her against him. "You, dear lady, not have the nerve? Have you suddenly become me?"
She hugged him back and hoped she could match the excitement of his embrace. "So… You want to find out for sure?"
Against her neck, there was wetness where Alistair's face rested against her shoulder. He was shaking lightly. "I… don't need an apostate healer to tell me what my heart already knows. I'm going to be a… a father! Me! Wow…"
They fell back on the bed and for a moment, Elissa thought Alistair would be ready to sleep again but no, he wasn't. His excitement was palpable and he couldn't contain it. He crawled away from her and carefully lit the oil lamp that rested on the night-stand next to the bed. The room was awash in gold light. He then crawled back over to the center of the bed where she lay under the covers. Elissa observed him closely as he lifted the covers away from her naked body. "Ahem, my love? What do you think you're doing?"
His hands cupped her belly, touching it, caressing it and staring at it from every angle. "If you're trying to arouse me, you're failing. That's not one of my happy places." He stuck his tongue out at her defiantly. "Oh, yes! That only proves I'll be raising twins if you keep up that level of maturity," she grinned down at him.
"You have a belly, Love. You're clearly showing! You've always had this line in between your muscles and it's gone." He traced a fingertip from just under her ribcage down to the ruby 'jewel' that crowned her shapely thighs. It tickled and she giggled. "You have a hill there now. A nice, sloping hill…" He leaned over and kissed her belly. Even though he looked ridiculous, she couldn't help but feel giddy at the sight of him so happy. One of Alistair's great life-long hopes had been to have a family. He now had one. A real one. And he was right. They really didn't need the mage to tell them what they already knew but Elissa had questions. She had responsibilities and she hoped that she could continue to do them in spite of being pregnant. And what about the baby's health? With the taint from two Gray Wardens in its blood, what ways could it be affected?
Eventually, Alistair curled up beside Elissa with his head resting on her stomach and a contented smile on his face. Somehow, he fell asleep that way and Elissa too slept more soundly than she had in days. Beginning with the time they awoke, they would plan for their future and the baby they would soon welcome. Nothing could ruin this for either of them.
***Except that this is a multi-chapter story and the writer isn't content with letting her favorite Templar be content. So…
…To be continued.
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Tainted Dreams